All language subtitles for Black Mirror (2011) - 01x03 - The Entire History of You.720p TLA.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,943 --> 00:00:21,069 Liam Foxwell, welcome. 2 00:00:21,081 --> 00:00:22,387 Thank you. 3 00:00:22,401 --> 00:00:23,906 OK, little speech time. 4 00:00:23,963 --> 00:00:26,637 I've mentioned this to everyone about their appraisals, 5 00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:30,383 and I just want you to know that this isn't a witch-hunt for the deadwood. 6 00:00:30,443 --> 00:00:32,023 It is much more of a... 7 00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:35,477 treasure hunt for the gold? 8 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,655 Shit sinks. 9 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,437 But also, cream floats. 10 00:00:39,562 --> 00:00:41,199 Yes, yes, I see that. 11 00:00:41,243 --> 00:00:44,014 A new the area we're getting lots of play in ... 12 00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,438 and your office could be at the centre for ... 13 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,877 is litigation in retrospective parenting cases. 14 00:00:50,002 --> 00:00:51,164 Retrospective... 15 00:00:51,189 --> 00:00:53,990 Bobby sues Mum and Dad for insufficient attention 16 00:00:54,002 --> 00:00:57,803 leading to lack of confidence, leading to damages against earnings. 17 00:00:57,828 --> 00:01:01,716 Right, and we're OK, the firm's OK with that, ethically? 18 00:01:01,841 --> 00:01:03,237 And morally? 19 00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:07,971 Yep. 20 00:01:07,983 --> 00:01:09,018 Mm-hmm. 21 00:01:09,031 --> 00:01:10,077 Sure. 22 00:01:10,483 --> 00:01:11,889 Yeah, yeah, right. 23 00:01:12,483 --> 00:01:13,550 Are you? 24 00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:15,590 Totally, yeah. 25 00:01:17,281 --> 00:01:18,637 Yes. 26 00:01:19,851 --> 00:01:21,454 OK, Liam, look, 27 00:01:21,455 --> 00:01:25,091 so if we invite you to stay with the firm in the new environment, 28 00:01:25,862 --> 00:01:28,274 what we'd have you do is pull an exhaustive redo 29 00:01:28,275 --> 00:01:30,346 with personnel, maybe... next week. 30 00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:33,797 Oh, well, I was ready to do a big redo right now, but... 31 00:01:33,922 --> 00:01:35,977 No, it's fine, next week's fine. 32 00:01:36,102 --> 00:01:39,822 But I have to ask you this ... they're not going to hit anything 33 00:01:39,847 --> 00:01:41,787 to freak us out, are they? 34 00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:44,663 There's no major deletions this quarter? 35 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,647 No, no, everything's well within... parameters. 36 00:01:48,523 --> 00:01:51,419 Great, OK, Liam, this has been really great. 37 00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:52,588 Um... 38 00:01:53,123 --> 00:01:58,247 Look, really hope to... look forward to seeing you again. 39 00:02:02,883 --> 00:02:04,194 OK, thank you. 40 00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:19,476 Airport, please. 41 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,842 RECORDED VOICE: 'Live... 44 00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:32,690 'Full-spectrum memory. 45 00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:35,749 'You can get a willow grain upgrade for less than the price 46 00:02:35,774 --> 00:02:39,149 'of a daily cup of coffee, and three decades of backup for free. 47 00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:42,121 'In-store ingrain procedure with local anaesthetic 48 00:02:42,146 --> 00:02:43,924 'and you're good to go. 49 00:02:43,942 --> 00:02:46,566 'Because memory is for living.' 50 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,839 VOICES AT HIGH SPEED 51 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,719 OK, great, this has been really great, Liam, 52 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:14,719 we really hope to... look forward to seeing you again. 53 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,519 REWOUND VOICES 54 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:21,519 we really hope to... look forward to seeing you again. 55 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,574 Sorry! 56 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,361 BLEEP 57 00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,564 Mr Foxwell. 58 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:52,353 Could you just rewind me your last 24 hours for me, please? 59 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,509 Great, and back that up for me times 64 for the week. 60 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,159 That's great. 61 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,886 Enjoy your flight, Mr Foxwell. 62 00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,027 I'm not being funny, right, but look at that. 63 00:04:21,183 --> 00:04:22,589 Look at what? 64 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:23,899 That! 65 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,436 Frayed carpet, there, you see? 66 00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:27,743 Seriously? 67 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,357 Yes, seriously! 68 00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,519 This is a five-star suite. 69 00:04:32,211 --> 00:04:34,375 I pay good money to have perfect details. 70 00:04:34,803 --> 00:04:38,479 Now I've got that shitty carpet for the rest of my life. 71 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,559 Only if you keep looking at it, mate. 72 00:04:40,956 --> 00:04:42,460 Oh, thanks, Jonas! 73 00:04:42,871 --> 00:04:43,928 Fuck off. 74 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:49,534 All right, now, you thought the carpet was bad, have a look at this. 75 00:04:54,014 --> 00:04:57,557 You've met Lucy, my wife, at the Dublin wedding? 76 00:04:57,682 --> 00:04:59,573 Oh, that's right, yes, hi, Liam. 77 00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:01,525 Hi... Hi again. 78 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,434 (Lucy, Dublin.) 79 00:05:06,174 --> 00:05:07,492 Hello. 80 00:05:07,617 --> 00:05:10,029 Lucy ... Liam, we met at the Dublin wedding. 81 00:05:10,303 --> 00:05:11,599 Liam! 82 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,905 Oh, great. 83 00:05:13,204 --> 00:05:14,479 Liam, yes. 84 00:05:14,759 --> 00:05:16,239 Come in. Thank you. 85 00:05:18,228 --> 00:05:20,693 - Great to see you again. - Yeah, you too. 86 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,119 Where's Fi been hiding you? 87 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,037 Oh, you know, in our house. 88 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,065 (LAUGHS) 89 00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:30,262 We didn't know ... well, she didn't know if you would make it. 90 00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:32,115 It was over quicker than I thought. 91 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,860 Oh, sorry, hello. 92 00:05:34,885 --> 00:05:37,829 Let's get you a drink. Um, beer OK? 93 00:05:37,954 --> 00:05:39,533 Lovely, thank you. 94 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,694 Everyone's through there, so I'll be in in a minute, OK? 95 00:05:45,719 --> 00:05:46,814 OK, thank you. 96 00:05:58,110 --> 00:05:59,119 Hi. 97 00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:03,743 You're back early, then, I didn't think you'd make it. 98 00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:07,424 Yeah, I didn't stay over and I caught an early flight back, so... 99 00:06:07,549 --> 00:06:08,833 - Hi. - Hello. 100 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,755 So, how was the appraisal? 101 00:06:11,777 --> 00:06:15,319 Well, they said they'd let me do a redo sometime next week, so... 102 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:17,047 Oh. But good? 103 00:06:17,508 --> 00:06:18,521 Well... 104 00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:20,585 - Later? - Later. 105 00:06:20,598 --> 00:06:21,606 OK. 106 00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:24,734 - How's Jody? - At home, Gina's babysitting. 107 00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,166 Hey. 108 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:27,434 Jonas, this is... 109 00:06:27,459 --> 00:06:29,457 - Liam ... - Jonas. 110 00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,479 Dude, it's really nice to meet you. 111 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,679 - You all right? - Good, thank you. 112 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,351 - And you know Jeff? - Yes. 113 00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:38,484 Yeah, you remember meeting Jeff, because he'd have shown you, 114 00:06:38,497 --> 00:06:41,478 I don't know, a redo of the side of his fridge. 115 00:06:41,603 --> 00:06:43,494 Yeah, yeah, yeah, piss off, Jonas. 116 00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:44,824 - Hello. - Hello. 117 00:06:44,825 --> 00:06:46,976 Your wife's being very mean to me tonight. 118 00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:48,199 Oh, well she's like that. 119 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,606 Yeah, tell me about it. 120 00:06:50,079 --> 00:06:53,113 - You all right for a drink? - I'm fine, thank you, Jonas. 121 00:06:54,021 --> 00:06:57,325 Lynn, come and meet Liam, he's, um... 122 00:06:58,842 --> 00:07:01,639 A soon-to-be unemployed/unemployable lawyer. 123 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,683 (LAUGHS) 124 00:07:04,284 --> 00:07:05,625 And Jeff. 125 00:07:06,328 --> 00:07:07,963 Jeff and Fi... 126 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,439 used to run the parties down the Fraser Road with Paul and me. 127 00:07:11,907 --> 00:07:13,225 Mad old days. 128 00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:15,917 Before we started up the Kings. 129 00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:18,837 So, yeah... 130 00:07:20,722 --> 00:07:24,635 So, Liam, what was it you had, an assessment? 131 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:25,962 Appraisal. 132 00:07:25,963 --> 00:07:27,239 How'd it go? 133 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,637 Good. 134 00:07:28,762 --> 00:07:32,873 Well, it was a disaster, but you know, I don't know. 135 00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:34,232 - Hard to gauge? - Yeah 136 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,525 Let's have a look. 137 00:07:35,604 --> 00:07:37,740 Redo, we can appraise the appraisal. 138 00:07:38,963 --> 00:07:40,277 Yeah, great. 139 00:07:40,402 --> 00:07:42,411 Throw it up there and we can grade you. 140 00:07:42,747 --> 00:07:44,550 - Come on. - Um... 141 00:07:44,575 --> 00:07:46,677 It could be fun, we could, um... 142 00:07:46,695 --> 00:07:47,727 vote! 143 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,885 - Paul? - Yeah? 144 00:07:49,963 --> 00:07:52,995 I work in recruitment, so it might be quite useful for you. 145 00:07:52,998 --> 00:07:53,601 Right, OK. 146 00:07:53,602 --> 00:07:56,275 Liam's redoing his appraisal so we can give him marks. 147 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,397 - Notes. - Pointers, you know. 148 00:07:58,415 --> 00:08:00,679 - I think Liam would probably... - Yes, do you know what... 149 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,843 Guys, no, come on, seriously, that's not cool, 150 00:08:03,855 --> 00:08:06,319 I mean Liam's obviously uncomfortable, 151 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,599 so let's just drop it, yeah? 152 00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:10,940 Have a cool time. 153 00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:14,119 Time to eat! 154 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,566 Oh, it's ready. 155 00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:21,824 Thank you so much for inviting us this evening. 156 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,672 It's been too long, too long. 157 00:08:25,175 --> 00:08:26,518 Fi. 158 00:08:28,643 --> 00:08:31,309 I haven't met him before, have I? Jonas, is it? 159 00:08:31,434 --> 00:08:33,040 He's one of the old crowd. 160 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,631 I think I said. 161 00:08:36,071 --> 00:08:37,578 - You OK? - Yeah, yeah. 162 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,880 - You know, if you're not in the mood, we can go. - No, no, I'm fine. 163 00:08:40,905 --> 00:08:41,913 Sure? 164 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,799 QUIETLY TALKING AND LAUGHING 165 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,618 Hey! 166 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:03,643 Sync and corrected by APOLLO www.addic7ed.com 167 00:09:03,649 --> 00:09:06,488 Yeah! I brought enough for others to share. 168 00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:07,649 Thank you. 169 00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:10,809 I've, er, been cooking a lot since the break-up. 170 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:12,729 Jonas has had a tough one. 171 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:13,969 DOORBELL RINGS 172 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,209 Was it bad? 173 00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,450 Er, yeah. 174 00:09:17,483 --> 00:09:20,285 Yeah, erm, we were in the middle of planning is all 175 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:24,463 and I suddenly realised that the less the relationship means 176 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,483 the more you spend on the wedding, you know! 177 00:09:26,508 --> 00:09:27,529 (LAUGHS) 178 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:30,049 You actually start obsessing over the tiniest little details, 179 00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:33,089 like the thickness of the wedding invitation paper 180 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:37,350 because, I mean, God knows you need something to fucking talk about! 181 00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:40,227 So, everybody, this is Helen. 182 00:09:40,874 --> 00:09:42,602 Helen, Jonas. 183 00:09:42,727 --> 00:09:44,125 - Hi. - Hi. 184 00:09:44,433 --> 00:09:46,211 And everyone! 185 00:09:46,949 --> 00:09:48,885 (ALL) - Hi! - Help yourself. 186 00:09:48,911 --> 00:09:51,809 Jonas was just explaining why relationships are a sham. 187 00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:53,409 Are they? Shit! 188 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,512 They're like going to the theatre, OK? 189 00:09:56,637 --> 00:10:00,769 You pay loads to go and ultimately you are wasting your entire night, 190 00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:03,889 so, when someone asks you, "Did you have a good time?", 191 00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:07,889 you both say, "Yeah! Yeah, it was great." 192 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,037 The problem is the more that you pay 193 00:10:10,045 --> 00:10:14,249 and the longer it goes on, the more you're, "Oh, yeah, we loved it!", 194 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:18,049 you know, "We love being together and never fucking anyone else" 195 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,127 "and only just having one other person" 196 00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:25,445 "to share our real thoughts with for our entire lives, yeah, it's great!" 197 00:10:25,468 --> 00:10:27,562 Would you say you loved her, though? 198 00:10:30,748 --> 00:10:35,435 I just think we just really fancied each other and that was what it was. 199 00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:36,873 You know what it's like early on. 200 00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:39,009 You know, we were just, I don't know, 201 00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:41,169 we were just two tools in the tool shed 202 00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,889 that just fit together really fucking well. 203 00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:47,525 I mean, still, by the end, I'd be like, "Go on, honey, you go up," 204 00:10:47,526 --> 00:10:49,729 "I'm just going to watch a little bit more of the news" 205 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,328 and I'd find myself, you know, watching redos of, like, 206 00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:54,449 hot times in earlier relationships! 207 00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:55,762 Easy! 208 00:10:56,483 --> 00:10:59,178 I'm just saying, there's a beautiful woman upstairs, 209 00:10:59,203 --> 00:11:00,574 you know, waiting to have sex with me. 210 00:11:00,549 --> 00:11:01,836 What, right now? 211 00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:05,325 (THEY LAUGH) 212 00:11:05,346 --> 00:11:08,489 She's upstairs, you know, waiting to have sex with me 213 00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:12,489 and I'm sat downstairs watching redos of, like, some hot times 214 00:11:12,769 --> 00:11:16,362 with some hot girl that I just picked up in some place 215 00:11:16,363 --> 00:11:20,280 and I'm fucking pulling myself off. I mean, seriously? 216 00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:24,341 Oh, come on... 217 00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:27,009 Come on, guys. 218 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,769 I mean, we all scroll through the Grain 219 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:30,369 rifling through our greatest hits 220 00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:33,445 for a little bit of filth now and then, surely? 221 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:34,871 Not me. 222 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,912 Helen doesn't have a Grain! 223 00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,805 - Oh, wow! - Wow! 224 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,469 No shit! 225 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:45,769 Was that a political thing? 226 00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:48,289 No, no, I was gouged about 12 months ago. 227 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,769 Jesus, was that painful? 228 00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:53,009 Total agony. 229 00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:55,809 But on the plus of that, I don't remember it that clearly. 230 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:57,329 There's a scar on here. 231 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,764 Yeah, can I, er...? 232 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,169 Yeah, that feels quite nice. 233 00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,729 Yeah, that feels quite nice. (THEY CHUCKLE) 234 00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:17,529 Yeah, no brain damage, clearly! 235 00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:20,787 Well, my sight held on fine, so... 236 00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,609 So, who took it then? 237 00:12:22,610 --> 00:12:24,929 Stolen to order, as far as they could tell, 238 00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:28,289 probably to some millionaire Chinese perve. 239 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:29,889 Really?! Yeah. 240 00:12:29,890 --> 00:12:31,569 Is that for real? 241 00:12:31,570 --> 00:12:33,649 Yeah, and none of it was encrypted, so... 242 00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,649 So, they saw the lot! 243 00:12:35,650 --> 00:12:38,918 The thing is, after I was gouged I didn't have one for a few days 244 00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:40,900 and then just kind of, liked it. 245 00:12:44,893 --> 00:12:46,129 It's cool. 246 00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:47,209 That's cool. 247 00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:49,369 I mean, because more people are... 248 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:52,049 I mean, now, right? Like, going Grainless? 249 00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:53,489 I believe it's huge with hookers. 250 00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,169 I mean, no offence! 251 00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:56,289 (THEY LAUGH) 252 00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:59,009 No, no, it's OK. Sure, I... 253 00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:01,227 Well, I'm pretty boring. One man is a time. 254 00:13:01,352 --> 00:13:02,383 Boo! 255 00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:06,169 Serial monogamist. 256 00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:07,987 I'm a serial monogamist. 257 00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,729 I'm staying faithful to my cornflakes right now! 258 00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:12,837 (LAUGHS) 259 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:17,849 Well, I think it's an interesting choice, going Grainless. 260 00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:19,009 It's a brave choice. 261 00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,767 I'm sorry, but I... 262 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,769 I couldn't do it. 263 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,253 Uh-huh. 264 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:32,809 OK, I was going to play some redos from the Fraser O days. 265 00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:34,249 (ALL) Yay! 266 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,649 Stuff from last night, depressing and fun. 267 00:13:37,385 --> 00:13:40,544 You know half the organic memories you have a junk, 268 00:13:40,843 --> 00:13:42,165 just not trustworthy. 269 00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:43,929 Colleen works in Grain development. 270 00:13:43,930 --> 00:13:47,006 With half the population you can implant false memories, 271 00:13:47,018 --> 00:13:49,356 just by asking leading questions in therapy. 272 00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:51,880 You can make people remember getting lost 273 00:13:51,893 --> 00:13:53,769 in shopping malls they never visited, 274 00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,782 getting bothered by paedophile babysitters they never had. 275 00:13:58,697 --> 00:14:00,775 I'm just happier now. 276 00:14:02,545 --> 00:14:03,704 TAPE REWINDING 277 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:07,849 'OK, great, Liam, this has been, this has been really great, erm... 278 00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:10,568 'we really hope to look forward to seeing you again.' 279 00:14:10,576 --> 00:14:12,537 He looks forward to seeing you again, that's good. 280 00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:13,969 "Hopes" to look forward. 281 00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:15,449 TAPE REWINDING 282 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:18,609 'We really hope to look forward to seeing you again.' 283 00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:19,914 It's phoney. 284 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,574 Hang on. 285 00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:23,837 Pause it. 286 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:25,372 Now backup. 287 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,599 Zoom in there. 288 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,889 Come on, that's a tick. 289 00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,449 That could be a V or an L. 290 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,845 - It's a tick! - Or the start of the swastika. 291 00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:37,261 It's probably the start of the swastika, they were such pricks! 292 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,805 - Did you have fun with the old gang? - Yeah. 293 00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:48,689 D'you speak to that Jonas much? 294 00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,546 No, no, not really. 295 00:14:54,764 --> 00:14:56,480 He's a bit of a knob, ain't he? 296 00:14:56,493 --> 00:14:58,169 Bit of a dick? 297 00:14:58,170 --> 00:14:59,209 Jonas. 298 00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:02,769 Pulling himself off to his own relationship theories. 299 00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:06,089 Oh, it must be such a drag, Jonas, putting it about! 300 00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:08,809 And when he protected me from those arseholes, 301 00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:10,649 "Hey, come on, guys," 302 00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:13,329 "it's really not cool to redo another man's appraisals, dudes." 303 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,169 Then why invite him over? 304 00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:16,476 I like him. 305 00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:24,849 You wanted me to invite him. 306 00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:26,529 I didn't say anything. 307 00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:29,089 You were laughing at everything he said. 308 00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,609 You invited him! 309 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:33,948 It was obvious I didn't want him to come. 310 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:39,369 'Wow, it's only, it's early to call it a night.' 311 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,085 'Do fancy a quick one down the pub?' 312 00:15:41,096 --> 00:15:42,409 'Oh, we've got to get back, 313 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:44,969 'rescue Jodie from the paedophile babysitter! 314 00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:46,529 '(LAUGHS)' 315 00:15:46,542 --> 00:15:47,848 'Yeah.' 316 00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:53,609 'But why don't you come back to ours, for a nightcap if you want?' 317 00:15:53,610 --> 00:15:54,649 See? 318 00:15:54,650 --> 00:15:58,906 It was obvious I didn't want him to come, I was being polite to a moron. 319 00:15:59,031 --> 00:16:01,877 If you really don't want to come, you can get rid of him. 320 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:14,959 Hey, hey! 321 00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:16,032 Hey. 322 00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:19,862 Well, actually, what time is it? 323 00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:21,380 It's midnight. 324 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,476 Shit, it's quite late, time's gone on. 325 00:16:23,494 --> 00:16:25,493 (LAUGHS) Yeah, time does that. 326 00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:26,729 15 minutes. 327 00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:27,889 Yeah. 328 00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:30,917 But we've got the babysitter inside, so... 329 00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:32,889 So, is that new info? 330 00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:36,889 No, it's just that we, I mean, we thought, right, Fi? 331 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,969 Yeah. Yeah. 332 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:40,329 OK, no, I get it. 333 00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:42,449 No, it's just that, actually, it turns out we're tired 334 00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:45,489 and I guess we forgot, but now we've remembered, so... 335 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:46,529 Sorry. 336 00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:47,369 No, it's fine, really. 337 00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:48,409 I'm sorry. 338 00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:50,969 Oh, it's cool, no worries. 339 00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,849 I've got a back-up plan, so... 340 00:16:52,850 --> 00:16:54,609 Oh, cool, well, we vote the back-up. 341 00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:56,049 Yeah, I will do. 342 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,809 Er, see you later, Fi. 343 00:16:57,810 --> 00:16:58,969 It was good to meet you, man. 344 00:16:58,970 --> 00:16:59,981 Yeah. 345 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,449 Nice one. 346 00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:02,870 Brilliant. Brilliant. 347 00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:06,359 OK, cool. 348 00:17:10,204 --> 00:17:11,522 Good to meet you, man. 349 00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:12,659 Yeah. 350 00:17:14,997 --> 00:17:18,729 Listen, Gina, it's a 40-minute wait for a cab, but if you want, 351 00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:21,023 I have the bed made up in my office. 352 00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,465 Er... OK, thanks, Fi. 353 00:17:24,132 --> 00:17:28,129 Hey, there's just, you know, use anything. There's T-shirts and... 354 00:17:28,254 --> 00:17:30,137 Yeah, thanks, I'll show myself out. 355 00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,169 All right, night. 356 00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:32,209 Night, guys. 357 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,523 Night, Gina. 358 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,144 Thank you. 359 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:44,735 'Bye-bye. 360 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,649 'OK. 361 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,917 'Love you, love you.' 362 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,089 Was he a big part of the gang? 363 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,478 Who? Jonas? 364 00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:15,374 I don't know, yeah? 365 00:18:16,592 --> 00:18:19,489 Let me guess, he'd spent his time oozing round the girls, 366 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,569 offering backrubs. 367 00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:21,849 Not really. 368 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,597 Circling for an orifice. 369 00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:27,289 Was he always that oily or... 370 00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:28,596 OK, look. 371 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:31,969 What? 372 00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:33,279 It's nothing, but... 373 00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:40,049 You may have noticed a bit of an atmosphere because... 374 00:18:41,761 --> 00:18:45,289 me and Jonas, years ago, had a bit of a thing. 375 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,449 You had a thing with oily dude man? 376 00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:48,529 It was just a little thing 377 00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:50,049 and I didn't even know you back then, so... 378 00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,706 You slept with oily dude man? 379 00:18:52,577 --> 00:18:53,849 That's hilarious! 380 00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:56,529 We've all got our skeletons, how about you and Gemma? 381 00:18:56,530 --> 00:18:58,129 What, I told you about Gemma. 382 00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,473 Gemma was a nutcase... 383 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,511 But you never mentioned Jonas. 384 00:19:02,536 --> 00:19:05,405 I did, I told you I hooked up with someone in Marrakech. 385 00:19:05,414 --> 00:19:06,602 Jonas is Mr Marrakesh?! 386 00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:07,849 It was a stupid thing... 387 00:19:07,858 --> 00:19:11,889 I thought Mr Marrakech was some sort of super cool... 388 00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:12,929 Not him. 389 00:19:12,930 --> 00:19:15,089 It was years ago and... 390 00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:17,489 Are you embarrassed by that? 391 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,466 Cos it's embarrassing. 392 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,259 I'm sorry, but, Christ, are you not embarrassed? 393 00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,739 It was years ago. 394 00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,499 But you dated him for a month? 395 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,699 That's what I said. 396 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,699 Cos when you told me about Mr Marrakech, it was a week. 397 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,557 No, I didn't. 398 00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:35,692 Pah! 399 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,020 TAPE WINDING 400 00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:40,539 'What about you?' 401 00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,819 I don't want to see our first time right now. 402 00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:43,899 Shh, you're about to talk. 403 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:47,059 'I went away and had a little thing that did my head in for a while 404 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:50,179 'with this, sort of... 405 00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:53,739 '..this, sort of, headfuck that I met in Marrakech.' 406 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:55,059 'Mr Marrakech?' 407 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,379 '(LAUGHS) Yeah.' 408 00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:59,779 'I'm imagining a chillum and a big knob.' 409 00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:03,779 '(LAUGHS) No, it was like dormouse.' 410 00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:06,699 'Big deal, big heart-breaker?' 411 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,139 'No, it was just a week. 412 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:11,459 'It was a weird week.' 413 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,779 So, a weird week or a month? 414 00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,619 The point is, it wasn't a big deal. 415 00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:16,379 Well, it was big enough to do your head in. 416 00:20:17,218 --> 00:20:20,613 Jonas, King Dormouse-Dick of Marrakech did your head in! 417 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,859 That was a nice night, used to be. 418 00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,356 You're getting obsessed. 419 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:29,299 I'm not. 420 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,779 We had all this with Dan, I don't want you going like that again. 421 00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:34,579 He had little creepy beady eyes and he was always... 422 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:36,579 What? Acting like he was interested? 423 00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:38,739 And you know what, I think he probably did fancy me 424 00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:40,819 and actually he wasn't completely hideous, 425 00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:44,757 so in another life I don't know, but nothing happened! 426 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,459 And Jonas... 427 00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:52,459 he's an old fling. So what? Don't go all fucked up! 428 00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:54,099 What, I'm fucked up, am I? 429 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,339 No, I mean, just... 430 00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:59,339 No, no, no, that's brilliant, sometimes you're a bitch. 431 00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:04,425 I didn't mean that. 432 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,179 'You're a bitch!' 433 00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:09,339 I'd like you to erase that. 434 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,419 'You're a bitch!' 435 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,299 Also, "sometimes". 436 00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:15,474 You can't just edit off the word, "sometimes"! 437 00:21:56,740 --> 00:22:01,083 I'm sorry, Fi, I know I go a bit weird and wonky sometimes. 438 00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:12,899 - I love you, you know? - I know. 439 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:30,259 WINDING TAPE 440 00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:33,219 '..in a toolshed that just fit together really fucking well, 441 00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:36,539 'but still by the end I'd be like, "Go, on, you go to bed, honey, 442 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,739 '"I'm just going to catch a little bit more of the news," 443 00:23:38,740 --> 00:23:42,579 'and then I'd find myself, you know, watching redos of hot times 444 00:23:42,580 --> 00:23:44,652 'in earlier relationships. 445 00:23:45,262 --> 00:23:49,502 'I've got a beautiful woman upstairs waiting to have sex with me. 446 00:23:50,620 --> 00:23:53,979 'And I'd find myself, you know, watching redos of hot times 447 00:23:53,980 --> 00:23:56,099 'in earlier relationships.' 448 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:57,404 'Easy!' 449 00:24:02,058 --> 00:24:04,839 'Lip read reconstruction enabled. 450 00:24:05,483 --> 00:24:08,490 - 'Hey, it's good to see you. - 'Good to see you, too. 451 00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:11,199 'I was nervous when I heard you were going to be here. 452 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,877 'It's weird, isn't it?' 453 00:24:15,513 --> 00:24:17,237 - Morning. - Gina, over here. 454 00:24:18,950 --> 00:24:21,319 Come here a second. I just want your opinion. 455 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,940 It's just a silly game. 456 00:24:27,813 --> 00:24:29,119 Sit down. 457 00:24:29,456 --> 00:24:30,849 Answer this. 458 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,319 I'm a serial monogamist. 459 00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:37,879 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 460 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,811 LAUGHTER 461 00:24:41,601 --> 00:24:43,702 Now, is that funny? 462 00:24:44,573 --> 00:24:47,930 There's no need to be nice, the man's a prick. 463 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,599 Is that funny, in your opinion? 464 00:24:53,018 --> 00:24:54,395 Well... 465 00:24:54,398 --> 00:24:56,127 I'm a serial monogamist. 466 00:24:57,047 --> 00:24:59,479 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 467 00:24:59,751 --> 00:25:01,425 LAUGHTER 468 00:25:01,550 --> 00:25:02,787 - No? - No 469 00:25:02,912 --> 00:25:04,599 - I don't know. - You do. 470 00:25:05,243 --> 00:25:06,631 Morning. 471 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:08,043 What's this? 472 00:25:08,044 --> 00:25:10,449 I'm just getting Gina's opinion on something. 473 00:25:10,474 --> 00:25:12,146 I'm a serial monogamist. 474 00:25:12,631 --> 00:25:15,239 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 475 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,238 LAUGHTER 476 00:25:17,363 --> 00:25:20,238 I was just wondering because you found it funny, but it isn't, 477 00:25:20,363 --> 00:25:21,680 and Gina agrees. 478 00:25:21,805 --> 00:25:23,260 I don't really want to get involved. 479 00:25:23,273 --> 00:25:25,399 Let me get you a cab. My dad's on his way. 480 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,879 Just one other thing. 481 00:25:28,064 --> 00:25:32,727 We both want him to come back, but who wants him to come back more? 482 00:25:32,852 --> 00:25:35,997 Off the top of your head, who wants him to come back more? 483 00:25:36,122 --> 00:25:37,678 OK, well, bye. 484 00:25:37,803 --> 00:25:38,849 Yeah, bye. 485 00:25:39,421 --> 00:25:42,206 Wow, it's early. It's early to call it a night. 486 00:25:42,231 --> 00:25:44,286 Fancy a quick one down the pub? 487 00:25:44,411 --> 00:25:47,402 Got to get back, rescue Jodie from the paedophile baby-sitter. 488 00:25:47,403 --> 00:25:48,599 That's just a... 489 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,684 That's a joke. 490 00:25:51,033 --> 00:25:52,052 Sorry. 491 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,993 Jonas, why don't you come back to ours for a nightcap, if you want? 492 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,246 Yeah. 493 00:25:58,259 --> 00:25:59,505 KNOCKING AT DOOR 494 00:25:59,630 --> 00:26:03,223 Now, ignore the joke. Who's more keen for him to come back? 495 00:26:03,246 --> 00:26:04,676 I don't know. 496 00:26:04,678 --> 00:26:05,934 You do know, Gina. 497 00:26:06,162 --> 00:26:08,089 I'm so sorry, he's really hungover. 498 00:26:08,090 --> 00:26:09,483 That's OK. 499 00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:25,625 I'm staying faithful to my corn flakes right now. 500 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,079 LAUGHTER 501 00:26:27,723 --> 00:26:29,558 That is just objectively not funny. 502 00:26:29,582 --> 00:26:31,557 Anyone would say, "That's not funny." 503 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,309 That was fucking embarrassing. 504 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,999 Whatever you're queuing up, stop it. 505 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,508 Sit down, please. 506 00:26:50,163 --> 00:26:51,519 You see that? 507 00:26:52,163 --> 00:26:54,072 You know Geoff? 508 00:26:54,096 --> 00:26:57,039 Yeah, you remember me and Geoff, because he would have shown you 509 00:26:57,416 --> 00:27:01,039 a re-do of the side of his fridge, something like that. 510 00:27:01,697 --> 00:27:03,758 - Spot the difference. - You're drunk. 511 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:06,839 I'm the difference. He's the greatest guy in the world 512 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,199 and then I arrived and... you clam. 513 00:27:09,949 --> 00:27:11,255 For clarity. 514 00:27:13,453 --> 00:27:15,319 We're just talking! 515 00:27:15,878 --> 00:27:18,797 But moments later, you're so stiff. 516 00:27:18,922 --> 00:27:20,447 I don't know, a re-do... 517 00:27:20,462 --> 00:27:22,588 You don't know how to stand around him. 518 00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:25,039 Your gauges are all over the place, hot and cold. 519 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,479 This is just stupid! 520 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,564 You can't hide it. Not completely. 521 00:27:29,589 --> 00:27:31,169 See how you look at him. 522 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,439 The less the relationship means, the more you spend on the wedding. 523 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,719 Really, you start obsessing about these tiny little details 524 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,519 like the thickness of the wedding invitation paper. 525 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,239 Now, how you look at me. 526 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,759 I think it's an interesting choice, going grainless. 527 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,119 It's a brave choice. 528 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,639 I'm sorry, but... 529 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,719 Tell me you look at me nice like you look at him. You can't. 530 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,319 And how am I looking at you now, Liam? 531 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,319 How long did you go out with him for? 532 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,336 Does it matter? 533 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:06,159 FILM REWINDING 534 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,959 You know, half the organic memories you have are junk. 535 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,751 Just not trustworthy. When it comes to little things. 536 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:14,119 And big ones. 537 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,401 Is that Marrakesh? 538 00:28:18,123 --> 00:28:20,542 Does that look like Marrakesh? 539 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:24,959 No. 540 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,959 It's not Marrakesh. 541 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,959 So, how long did you go out with him for? 542 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,757 All right, about six months. 543 00:28:39,271 --> 00:28:42,035 So not a week or a month. Six months. 544 00:28:42,368 --> 00:28:44,531 The ever-inflating romance. 545 00:28:44,532 --> 00:28:46,479 You're probably still going out with him. 546 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,077 Why am I on trial here? 547 00:28:48,724 --> 00:28:50,159 What's been going on? 548 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,239 Nothing has been going on. 549 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,674 It was... Christ, you know how it is when you first get with someone 550 00:28:56,675 --> 00:28:59,995 and then previous boyfriends come up. 551 00:28:59,996 --> 00:29:02,288 He was never a boyfriend, he was always a weird week. 552 00:29:02,302 --> 00:29:04,763 I downplayed it. I fudged it, it was... 553 00:29:04,767 --> 00:29:05,638 You lied. 554 00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:08,597 Not everything that isn't true is a lie, Liam. 555 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,199 Hello? 556 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,383 So he was a bigger thing than I made out and, yeah, he's sort of a dick. 557 00:29:15,443 --> 00:29:16,825 Sort of? He's a massive... 558 00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,639 I liked him then. 559 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,312 And I don't like him, not like that, not now. 560 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,857 So, just to get this clear. 561 00:29:25,982 --> 00:29:28,779 He fucks you, gets footage for his redo wank file, 562 00:29:28,792 --> 00:29:29,735 but you're still pally. 563 00:29:29,747 --> 00:29:30,717 This is sad! 564 00:29:30,753 --> 00:29:32,735 - Cos if he was... - This is just sad! 565 00:29:32,736 --> 00:29:34,577 He probably sits there and tosses himself 566 00:29:34,578 --> 00:29:36,112 off all over his cashmere blanket. 567 00:29:36,137 --> 00:29:37,381 It was years ago! 568 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,756 Not for him. 569 00:29:40,963 --> 00:29:44,417 I'd find myself watching redos of really hot times 570 00:29:44,430 --> 00:29:46,245 early in relationships. 571 00:29:46,370 --> 00:29:47,519 'Easy.' 572 00:29:48,394 --> 00:29:50,718 Sober up. Make yourself puke. 573 00:29:50,843 --> 00:29:53,397 Whatever, I don't care. Just sort this out. 574 00:29:54,387 --> 00:29:55,463 Fuck. 575 00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,572 I'd find myself watching redos of really hot times 576 00:30:00,585 --> 00:30:02,736 early in relationships. 577 00:30:02,758 --> 00:30:04,064 Easy. 578 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,399 And I'm downstairs watching some redo of some night 579 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,559 I've picked up somebody else and... 580 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,039 Yeah, nice, Geoff. She's upstairs waiting to have sex with me 581 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,719 and I'm downstairs watching some redo 582 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,879 of some night I've picked up somebody else. 583 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,479 Easy. 584 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,397 And I'm fucking pulling myself off. I'm just saying. 585 00:30:29,772 --> 00:30:31,227 'Green warning. 586 00:30:31,243 --> 00:30:33,988 'Grain assistant suggests you may not be in a suitable 587 00:30:33,989 --> 00:30:37,507 'physical condition for the activity you appear to be engaged in. 588 00:30:37,532 --> 00:30:39,958 'To override, continue at your own risk. 589 00:30:40,083 --> 00:30:43,042 'All health and personal accident insurance is... ' 590 00:30:43,055 --> 00:30:44,385 Thank you. 591 00:30:55,702 --> 00:30:57,455 BUZZER 592 00:30:59,954 --> 00:31:01,794 - 'Who's that?' - It's Liam. 593 00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:05,150 Liam from last night. 594 00:31:06,046 --> 00:31:08,957 'Liam. Is Fi with you?' 595 00:31:09,082 --> 00:31:10,678 She's not, no. 596 00:31:11,363 --> 00:31:14,210 'Sorry, Liam, mate, is there something that you want?' 597 00:31:14,222 --> 00:31:16,634 Yeah, I just want to come in and talk to you. 598 00:31:16,635 --> 00:31:17,840 Can you open the gate? 599 00:31:17,841 --> 00:31:21,334 (CLEARS THROAT) Yeah, sure. I'll let you in. 600 00:31:21,459 --> 00:31:23,137 Nice one, nice one. 601 00:31:37,818 --> 00:31:40,056 - Hey. - Hey. 602 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,479 What do you want? 603 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,813 I just want to come in for a bit, dude. 604 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,997 That looks expensive. Is that expensive? 605 00:31:48,014 --> 00:31:49,879 Look, Liam, it's morning, mate. 606 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,157 Fucking hell. Liam. 607 00:31:58,672 --> 00:32:02,266 Jonas, this is a nice place! 608 00:32:05,428 --> 00:32:09,942 Hey. Seriously, man, it's not cool you just walking in like this. 609 00:32:09,957 --> 00:32:12,395 To be honest with you, it's a little bit weird. 610 00:32:12,420 --> 00:32:14,216 Is that a Marrakeshian lamp? 611 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,317 Liam, do I have to call Fi? 612 00:32:23,104 --> 00:32:25,442 Did you guys have a row or something like that? 613 00:32:25,443 --> 00:32:27,344 - Sit down. - No, I'm all right. 614 00:32:27,593 --> 00:32:30,679 Go on, sit down. It's not a bear trap, it's a chair. 615 00:32:35,665 --> 00:32:38,557 Do you want me to bounce this off your fucking head? 616 00:32:42,202 --> 00:32:43,334 (LAUGHS) 617 00:32:43,806 --> 00:32:45,845 I'm joking, Jonas. 618 00:32:45,970 --> 00:32:48,639 Bloody hell, I thought you were supposed to be cool, man. 619 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,398 I thought you were meant to be fucking brilliant. 620 00:32:51,523 --> 00:32:53,233 What's going on? 621 00:32:57,226 --> 00:32:58,557 Yeah, figures. 622 00:32:59,070 --> 00:33:01,637 Get some good stuff for the scrapbook? 623 00:33:03,108 --> 00:33:04,414 I think you should go. 624 00:33:04,762 --> 00:33:06,559 I don't blame you. I would have. 625 00:33:07,395 --> 00:33:09,248 Tell you what, let's have a look. 626 00:33:09,583 --> 00:33:12,159 Go on, chuck it on the screen, don't be shy! 627 00:33:12,455 --> 00:33:13,761 Come on! 628 00:33:14,323 --> 00:33:17,132 I'm fucking joking again, Jonas! 629 00:33:17,418 --> 00:33:20,913 For goodness' sake, you need to grow a sense of humour. 630 00:33:21,150 --> 00:33:23,177 - He's uptight, isn't he? - OK, Liam. 631 00:33:26,204 --> 00:33:28,281 - It's a lovely room, this. - Thank you. 632 00:33:29,462 --> 00:33:32,310 Is this where you masturbate to images of my wife? 633 00:33:33,403 --> 00:33:37,246 - Or do you do it in that room? - OK, Liam, I want you to leave now. 634 00:33:37,371 --> 00:33:40,079 Do you sometimes start in here and then finish in there? 635 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,386 The world's pretty much your oyster, isn't it? 636 00:33:42,398 --> 00:33:43,816 I want you to leave. 637 00:33:48,863 --> 00:33:50,699 Well, that's a pity. 638 00:33:50,763 --> 00:33:53,396 - Come on, mate. - All right, now, what are you doing? 639 00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,715 Don't do that. Come on now! 640 00:33:56,095 --> 00:33:58,213 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 641 00:33:58,216 --> 00:34:01,955 - Jesus! Get out! - Stand up, Jonas, come on! 642 00:34:38,860 --> 00:34:39,867 Hey. 643 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,032 What do you want? 644 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:48,275 INDECIPHERABLE GIBBERISH 645 00:34:48,660 --> 00:34:50,115 Don't do that. 646 00:34:50,139 --> 00:34:51,574 Come on, Danny! 647 00:34:51,598 --> 00:34:53,364 - 'What are you doing? - 'What are you doing? 648 00:34:53,376 --> 00:34:56,601 'Jesus! Get out, you fucking prick. 649 00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:57,993 'Tell you what... ' 650 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,385 Stop it! 651 00:35:05,822 --> 00:35:07,679 I tell you what you're going to do. 652 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,359 You're going to get every bit of Fion you've got in there 653 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,399 and you're going to select it all and you're going to wipe it! 654 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,125 Hello, police, I'm witnessing a serious assault at five... 655 00:35:16,958 --> 00:35:18,102 'Wipe it! 656 00:35:18,227 --> 00:35:19,315 'Fuck off. 657 00:35:19,316 --> 00:35:21,439 'I don't have a brain chip to show you.' 658 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,599 This is a bottle, right? 659 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,821 Either you wipe it or I will fucking gouge you myself. 660 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:27,866 Jesus! 661 00:35:27,891 --> 00:35:28,923 OK. 662 00:35:29,376 --> 00:35:31,017 Just do what he says. 663 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,375 Not on your eye, in there. 664 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,919 On there! 665 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,179 He's doing it! 666 00:35:40,177 --> 00:35:42,266 Now, delete it all. The lot! 667 00:35:43,184 --> 00:35:47,325 Or I will crack your skull and I will gouge your fucking neck. 668 00:35:47,450 --> 00:35:48,764 I'm doing it. 669 00:35:57,512 --> 00:35:59,601 Stay away from my house! 670 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,559 'Now, delete it all. The lot! 671 00:36:13,961 --> 00:36:18,313 'Or I will crack your skull and I will gouge your fucking neck. 672 00:36:18,338 --> 00:36:19,718 'I'm doing it.' 673 00:37:06,454 --> 00:37:07,760 Liam? 674 00:37:09,115 --> 00:37:10,471 Where did you go? 675 00:37:15,493 --> 00:37:16,836 What happened? 676 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,239 Liam, what happened? 677 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:21,009 Did you use a condom or not? 678 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:25,776 Just say. 679 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,999 Liam, whatever you think... 680 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,332 Am I Jodie's father? 681 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:33,959 - Liam! - Am I? 682 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,039 Yes, of course. 683 00:37:35,466 --> 00:37:37,919 - You sure about that? - Yes! 684 00:37:38,582 --> 00:37:39,987 That's nice. 685 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,605 I always liked that picture, didn't you? 686 00:37:47,289 --> 00:37:48,943 It's why I bought it for you. 687 00:37:49,801 --> 00:37:52,599 I never liked it. Thought it was pretentious shit. 688 00:38:06,308 --> 00:38:07,900 'I'll tell you what you're going to do. 689 00:38:07,925 --> 00:38:09,919 'You're going to get every bit of Fion... ' 690 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,279 ' Christ, what have you done? 691 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,359 'Select it all... ' 692 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:13,839 We're getting to the good bit. 693 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,902 'Hello, police, I'm witnessing a serious assault at... ' 694 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,039 'Now, delete it all. The lot! 695 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:30,669 'Or I will crack your skull and I will gouge your fucking neck.' 696 00:38:40,222 --> 00:38:41,938 18 months ago in this room. 697 00:38:53,261 --> 00:38:55,375 You know when you suspect something, 698 00:38:55,862 --> 00:38:58,577 it's always better when it turns out to be true. 699 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:04,039 It's like I've had a bad tooth for years and I'm just finally 700 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,657 getting my tongue in there and I'm digging out all the rotten shit. 701 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,439 That's not what it looks like. 702 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,239 Oh, this did Jonas come round to read you a story? 703 00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,279 No, it was... 704 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,439 A story about fucking? 705 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,039 It was... 706 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,115 When all the Dan stuff was going on and you'd walked out. 707 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,319 For like ten minutes. 708 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,155 For five days, Liam. 709 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:28,692 No call, no nothing. 710 00:39:31,229 --> 00:39:33,639 So you fucked him after four days? 711 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,119 That's heroic. 712 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,959 I mean, three days, that's admirable, but four days? 713 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,759 I mean, you must have been gagging. 714 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:42,281 I was so upset. 715 00:39:44,565 --> 00:39:47,227 We went for a drink, I got drunk. 716 00:39:47,674 --> 00:39:49,465 It shouldn't have happened. 717 00:39:50,672 --> 00:39:52,177 I'm sorry. 718 00:39:54,324 --> 00:39:57,639 I'm so sorry, I can't say anything else. 719 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,912 I love you. 720 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,159 Did you use a condom? 721 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,319 Yes. 722 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,084 Cos we didn't have any here. We were trying. 723 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:10,719 He had some. 724 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:12,479 In his pocket? 725 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:13,862 In his car. 726 00:40:15,577 --> 00:40:18,097 Was it his decision, or did you make him wear one? 727 00:40:18,222 --> 00:40:19,523 I made him. 728 00:40:20,390 --> 00:40:22,566 - And you saw him put it on? - Yes. 729 00:40:23,014 --> 00:40:24,332 Show me, then. 730 00:40:26,023 --> 00:40:27,600 Show me on there. 731 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,473 I need to see it, Fi. 732 00:40:37,599 --> 00:40:38,955 I deleted it. 733 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,559 I wanted it to go away, I wiped the whole thing. 734 00:40:42,684 --> 00:40:44,135 - Did you? - Yeah. 735 00:40:44,260 --> 00:40:46,404 So there's just a blank gap in your timeline? 736 00:40:46,529 --> 00:40:47,977 Yeah. 737 00:40:48,954 --> 00:40:50,358 Show me that, then. 738 00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,179 Yeah, OK. 739 00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:58,541 I have to find it. 740 00:41:05,025 --> 00:41:07,015 No! No deleting it, not now. 741 00:41:07,140 --> 00:41:09,079 No, no. 742 00:41:12,164 --> 00:41:13,557 It's still on there, is it? 743 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:17,737 I'm sorry. 744 00:41:20,016 --> 00:41:21,759 You have to show it to me, Fi. 745 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:22,959 Why? 746 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,355 Cos I want to see it. 747 00:41:26,874 --> 00:41:28,590 I love you. 748 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,687 Show it to me. 749 00:41:31,557 --> 00:41:33,199 No. 750 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,439 - Show it to me. - No. 751 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,679 - Show it to me! - No! 752 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:39,244 Show it to me! I want to see! I want to see what he looks like! 753 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,095 This isn't me! Look what you're doing to me! 754 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:46,785 Fi, I need to see it! 755 00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:49,098 Please. 756 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:02,319 I need to see it, Fi. 757 00:42:34,944 --> 00:42:36,809 GIGGLING FROM TV SCREEN 758 00:42:36,934 --> 00:42:38,214 'Hurry up. 759 00:42:38,227 --> 00:42:39,495 'Sorry!' 760 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,639 GROANS FROM SCREEN 761 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,009 GROANS AND GIGGLING CONTINUE 762 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,928 HEAVY BREATHING FROM SCREEN 763 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,774 MOANING FROM SCREEN 764 00:43:29,663 --> 00:43:32,059 MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY 765 00:43:38,575 --> 00:43:39,806 I love you. 766 00:43:40,689 --> 00:43:42,157 I know you do. 767 00:43:46,358 --> 00:43:47,759 BABY'S TOYS TINKLE 768 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:48,879 Oh! 769 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,599 MOSAIC PLAYS A LULLABY 770 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:52,945 Hello, stinky! 771 00:44:40,314 --> 00:44:41,583 Hey. 772 00:45:51,203 --> 00:45:55,559 HER GIGGLING PLAYS OVER THE MEMORY 773 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,887 DOOR CREAKS OPEN 774 00:46:05,285 --> 00:46:07,374 Brown or green? 775 00:46:08,071 --> 00:46:09,400 Green? 776 00:48:25,823 --> 00:48:28,299 Sync and corrected by APOLLO www.addic7ed.com 54584

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