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1
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这部电影是由
晶艺电影有限公司出品
2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:08,034
片名叫<逃学英雄传>
3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,710
这部电影是由哪些哥哥姐姐们演的
4
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,491
是谁教人打扮漂漂亮亮的?
5
00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:42,263
我们这部电影的导演就是死胖子
6
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:48,040
我们这部电影的导演就是
7
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最有品味,最英俊
最有艺术修养的
8
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,745
王晶先生
9
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局长
10
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,600
什么状况?
11
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,568
里面两男一女,总共是三个劫匪
12
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:13,797
他们的武器很猛
13
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:17,599
其中一个悍匪神经不太正常
他的名字叫丧波
14
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,007
通知飞虎队没有? 通知了
15
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:20,840
谈判专家呢? 通知了
16
00:01:21,047 --> 00:01:22,674
是谁啊? 口水坚
17
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,180
口水坚?
这么大的案子不找他行不行啊?
18
00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:27,546
局长,他是你的外甥啊
19
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:28,745
就是这个才悲惨呐
20
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,287
拿防弹衣给我 是,局长
21
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:34,451
慈悲为怀的主啊,请你赐给我力量
22
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,720
让屋里的抢匪自动投降
23
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:38,261
我当谈判专家这么久了
24
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,830
一次都没成功过
25
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:42,695
主啊,拜托你帮我一次,一次就好
26
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:43,767
阿坚
27
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:45,702
舅父
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00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,171
你放聪明一点,你再背锅的话
29
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:49,968
蜘蛛精那个臭八婆一定整死我
30
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,101
她三颗花
官级比你低,你干嘛怕她?
31
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,270
惨的是立法局那几个女议员罩她啊
32
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,108
说她是警界妇女之光
33
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,580
整天就盯着我的位子
34
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,747
那就差一点
35
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,113
王局长,防弹衣
36
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:03,650
你妈临死叫我照顾你
37
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,951
把它穿上,命只有一条
子弹不长眼的
38
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,486
我那件呢?
对不起,只有一件
39
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:11,693
舅父
40
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,958
子弹没眼睛,你有眼睛嘛
41
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,063
年轻人不经历过子弹擦身而过
42
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,726
怎么能挺起胸膛做人呢?
43
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,336
没错,但是我怕啊
44
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,940
不用怕,打不中的嘛
45
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,974
你抢什么?就算打中也不痛啊
46
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:28,945
舅父
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00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:30,082
妇女之光呀
48
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,342
蜘蛛精
49
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:35,545
王局长,寒风凛凛
你怎么浑身冒冷汗啊
50
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:39,551
这只是个小CASE
你年纪都这么大了
51
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:41,489
不如回去休息吧
52
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:48,726
舅父,冷静冷静
53
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:52,065
我看她是女流之辈
不然我就把她胸部劈下来
54
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,899
看她以后怎么喂奶
55
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,308
你叫我?
56
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,670
昨晚去哪里了?干嘛不打电话给我
57
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:01,846
打麻将
58
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,483
要想五秒钟才说,鬼鬼祟祟
59
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:05,584
跟谁打?
60
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,082
四眼龟,大水牛,鸡精
61
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,218
说得这么快
一定是预先背好了来骗我
62
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:12,450
输还是赢?
63
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:13,956
输了二百块
64
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,958
我一个月才给你三百块零用
65
00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:17,823
到了月底还有二百块可以输
66
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,021
你一定藏了很多钱
67
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,028
没有啊,过年存下来的压岁钱啊
68
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,259
我不管,下个月多给我存一千块
69
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,232
什么?
70
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,396
你可以不给啊,我也不一定要嫁你
71
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,658
屋子里面的人你们听着
72
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,296
我是警方的谈判专家
73
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,290
我是很有诚意,没有恶意的
74
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,024
我现在要进来跟你们好好谈一谈
75
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,564
你们已经被我们团团围住
76
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,002
走不了啦
77
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,300
不投降只有死路一条
78
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,815
阿坚,救人质呀
79
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:13,782
我呀?
80
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:14,783
你最近嘛
81
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,912
救人质 是,长官
82
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,693
小姐
83
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:24,852
不要动
84
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,965
你不要过来 小心啊
85
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,259
下去
86
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,360
进去
87
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:48,949
敢打伤我老婆?
88
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:49,986
不关我的事啊
89
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,555
一边讲话一边眨眼睛?
90
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:52,783
我眼睛痒嘛
91
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,419
脱衣服
92
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,826
我打伤你老婆,你打我就是了
没理由强奸我啊
93
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,166
还用瓶子?
94
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,503
我们来玩俄罗斯轮盘
95
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:10,106
瓶口朝着谁就打谁
96
00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:15,140
一颗
97
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,372
两颗
98
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:19,612
三颗
99
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,146
我们玩三颗
100
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,277
三颗?
101
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,938
好不好玩呀?
102
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,864
我现在再加一颗
103
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,142
还加?
104
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:45,106
我们两个男人加起来一共有四颗
105
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,108
不是啊
106
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,411
我只有一颗
107
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:48,706
那我就三颗咯
108
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,474
不要啊,波哥
109
00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:13,195
好开心吗?
110
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:14,867
不是呀
111
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,838
好痛苦啊
112
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,093
这次我们六颗一起玩
113
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:09,217
不要,我们还没玩完啊,还没玩完
114
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,693
等我回来,等我回来再跟你玩过
115
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,523
等我会回来呀
116
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,267
不要指着我…
阿坚,阿坚,你没事吧
117
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,367
阿坚 你指着他…杀他…
118
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,338
舅父,妈死的时候叫你照顾我
119
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:24,441
我现在不在照顾你吗?
120
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,701
我不是叫你到黑社会当卧底
121
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,177
我是叫你到学校当卧底老师而已
122
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:31,349
查什么?查黑学生啊?
123
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,412
黄种人呀,黑
124
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:35,977
有个小名叫小狗的台湾仔
125
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:37,153
把两脚抬高
126
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,689
好
127
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,784
我知道了 什么?
128
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,929
原来夺命剪刀脚是这么练的
129
00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:45,063
多管闲事
130
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,028
夹爆你的头
131
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:50,030
台湾仔的老爸柯受良呢
是台湾黑帮的重要人物
132
00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:53,898
最近他肯出来
跟警方合作指证两个大哥
133
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:57,706
可惜呀,那份证据让
他以前离了婚的老婆拿走了
134
00:07:57,877 --> 00:07:58,935
找他老婆啊
135
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:02,210
他老婆在三个月之前撞车死掉啦
136
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,848
可能他儿子会知道
137
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:05,108
找他儿子啊
138
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:08,276
这么容易找啊?
那小混蛋不知道多恨他老爸
139
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,888
根本不肯认他这个老爸的
140
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,614
我也是历经艰苦才找到线索
141
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,588
他可能在圣育强中学读书啊
142
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:24,027
他儿子长什么样子啊?
143
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,201
只是靠张照片
他老爸都不认得他了
144
00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:29,840
他老爸最后一次见他呢,他才七岁
145
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,237
现在这个小子,已经十七岁了
146
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:33,579
唯一的记号呢
147
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,179
就是他屁股上面有一块狗形的胎记
148
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,016
不过我们已经收到线报
149
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,617
台湾的黑帮已经派人来香港追杀小狗了
150
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,482
所以我们一定要
比这帮人先找到小狗才行啊
151
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,554
舅父,好严重啊
152
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,752
蜘蛛精逼得我走投无路
153
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,591
你再找不到他,我就把你吸进去了
154
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:54,728
我怕我罩不住啊
155
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,227
我现在决定
将我毕生的绝学传授给你
156
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,962
我最好的武功绝对不是剪刀脚
157
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,435
是铁沙掌对吧?
158
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,503
不是铁沙掌
159
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:09,170
是一阳指
160
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,140
一阳指?
161
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,800
这只不过是雕虫小技
162
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,463
你也可以做得到的
163
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,371
我可以用一根手指做倒立
把我人整个撑起来
164
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:42,005
来啊,你的手指
如果可以让杯子动的时候
165
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:43,712
你就成功了
166
00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,492
做卧底要保守秘密,不能告诉别人
167
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,529
我每天要跟阿卿报到三次
168
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:06,504
这样一个恰贝贝,拜托你甩了她吧
169
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:07,866
我已经交了三年了
170
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,142
三年?三年你标了会没有?
171
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,105
没有啊
172
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,039
女人啊,是不能宠的
173
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:15,413
在聊什么?我的奶罩你烫好了没有
174
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,474
好了好了,我想烫软一点
175
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,210
你穿得会舒服一点嘛,亲爱的
176
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,319
我们分手吧
177
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:26,516
你哭什么?
178
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,860
哭也没有用,是吗
179
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,488
冷静点,分开一下
180
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,830
你干什么,你跪在这里干什么?
181
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,563
这么多人看着,你有没有搞错?
182
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,474
我警告你不要拉我裤子
不然我一巴掌呼死你啊
183
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:46,873
我呼死你啊
184
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,807
我揣死你啊,你还来
185
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,920
女人嘛,是吧?我够不够COOL?
186
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,213
简直是无情无心的衰相啊
187
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,423
等一下我话说完了,扭头就走
188
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,228
女人一定会哭得死去活来
189
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,397
麻烦你帮我个忙,帮我盯着她
190
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,465
我怕她一下子想不开
又跳海,又跳楼的
191
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,330
我很为难呀 行了,我会了
192
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:12,904
她来啦
193
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,112
我有话跟你说
194
00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:23,441
说啊
195
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,775
我们分手
196
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,680
你说什么呀?
197
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,390
我说我们分手呀
198
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:35,389
你说得这么辛苦,不要说了
不如让我来说
199
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:38,396
我们分手
200
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,825
为什么要跟我分手?
201
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:43,491
哭什么?你哭也没有用的
202
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,669
我们需要冷静一下
203
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,535
冷什么静,我不需要冷静
204
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,608
不要啊,不要啊……
205
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:54,739
不要你离开我,不要呀
206
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,607
你抓着我的脚干嘛啊?
207
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,182
不要你离开我呀
这里这么多人,赶快放手
208
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:00,340
不放,我不放手
209
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,009
再不放手,我一脚把你揣到墙角去
210
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,778
不放,就是不放
211
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,083
走开啊
212
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,548
不要走呀,不要走
213
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,159
干什么? 我死给你看
214
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:12,587
你冷静一点嘛
走开,你不要理我
215
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:17,163
你冷静一点,你不要冲动啊
你有所不知,她甩了我了
216
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:33,849
即然我爱情失败
217
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,445
我的事业一定要成功
218
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:38,055
我要做一个成功的人
219
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:41,383
我要努力;奋斗;不眠不休
220
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,789
不怕牺牲;排除万难
221
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:48,261
那怕凤云色变
我也要冲破重重的障碍
222
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:52,196
我‥‥要做一个最成功的
223
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:53,694
老师!
224
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:57,442
白痴,神经病!
225
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,372
关你们什么事啊?
226
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,211
你是不是这个学校的老师啊?
227
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:03,438
什么…事呀?
228
00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:05,310
我问你是不是这个学校的老师
229
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,349
是吧
230
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,452
那就对了
231
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:10,211
老大,我也是刚刚新来的
232
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,880
如果以前有咩什么做不对的地方
你不要怪我
233
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,148
那更好了!
234
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:18,796
我不太会打领带,请你帮帮忙吧
235
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,397
打领带是吧! 是啊!
236
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,624
谢谢啊
237
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,470
我也是新来的老师
238
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:28,596
你没走错地方吧?
239
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,038
没有啊,我不像吗?
240
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,744
像,像
241
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,072
是政府派我们来的
242
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,941
我们是政府协助三合会改过自新的人
243
00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:40,085
重新投入社会,职业辅导计划
244
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,310
第一批的人马
245
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:46,053
现在我跟你都是属于穿鞋的
246
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,987
是啊…
247
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:50,552
请问你教哪一科?
248
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:54,062
你看我这样的人材
就知道我是专门负责讲数的
249
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,633
不是,是讲数学
250
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,973
我绝对不能容忍一只蚊子
在我的视线范围之内
251
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,669
也就是说,我绝对不能够
容忍一个害群之马的学生
252
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,074
在我的学校里
253
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,210
两位既然加入我的学校教师行列
254
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,841
就有责任帮我搞好学校的纪律
255
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,384
没问题啊,校长
256
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,886
如果有哪个学生敢不听教不听话的
257
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:19,615
我就把他抓回来痛扁
258
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,123
接着就整他
259
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,194
然后来个大锅炒
260
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,852
对不对啊?侯老师
261
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,693
陈慧蟹老师;你可不可以
用一些比较有文化的语言
262
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:33,999
校长,是这样的
哪个学生敢不听教不听话呢
263
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:36,698
我们就用个麻袋把他给套起来
264
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:40,242
跟着呢,拿木棍来殴打他
265
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,108
然后,就要冤枉他
266
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:46,147
到最后呢,我们就要很有秩序的
267
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,081
跟他发生性行为
268
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:49,778
校长,对不对啊?
269
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,288
但是我们圣育强中学
270
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,958
绝对没有一个害群之马的学生
271
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,455
而全部都是害群之马的学生
272
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,530
我们是垃圾学生大集会
273
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,427
全部烂学生都在这里
274
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,802
有两个新老师来了,这回有得玩了
275
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,302
大家准备作战 好呀好呀!
276
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,441
所以两位要有心理准备
277
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:13,803
这个学期就是
一场惨烈的战争的开始
278
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,239
听到没有?
279
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:17,577
怎么了?你干什么?
280
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,978
惨了…我耳聋了!
281
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:21,948
他到底说什么?快点说啊
282
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,553
天气这么好还带伞?你怕太阳呀?
283
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:27,323
这把伞是学生跟学校的桥梁
284
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:28,790
怎么说?
285
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,997
如果连伞都没有
又怎么可以过河渡江呢?
286
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:38,729
走到天井要撑伞,走两步要拿右
287
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,370
走前三步跳一跳
288
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,068
接着就要缩!
289
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:52,613
校长,为什么要缩也不说一声呢
290
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,753
你不中招又怎么会记得呢?
291
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,447
在这家学校要打起十二分精神
292
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,024
特别是一个叫ACE的学生
293
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,584
他犯过很多次错
294
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:07,664
再犯一次我们就可以马上把他开除
295
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,735
等一下点名的时候
你要特别注意他
296
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:15,004
迟到半步就可以把他开除
297
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:24,080
还没看到ACE啊?
298
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:27,674
我们收到消息,他要再迟到啊
校长就要开除他
299
00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:29,616
我们叫他死得很难看
300
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:36,661
追他! 好!
301
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,875
分头拦截 好!
302
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:29,596
五…四…三…二…一
303
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,566
点名!AL…
304
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:37,568
ALEX
305
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:38,733
到
306
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:40,908
ACE,书包
307
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,307
谢谢
308
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,611
我们给点掌声欢迎新老师好不好?
309
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:52,086
好!好…
310
00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:56,090
你就是ALEX?
311
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,429
是啊,大家都叫我ACE
312
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:02,795
好,今天是我第一天到这里来上课
313
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,729
我的名字叫做候瑞坚
314
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,572
你们看见我满脸笑容
315
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,674
其实你们被我的外表欺骗了
316
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:13,310
我这个人的本质是非常凶残的!
317
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:16,676
如果有谁敢在教室里胡搞瞎搞
我就一手把他扔出去
318
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:19,180
我要他单脚顶着椅子,背着桌子
319
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:22,115
一个人站在视窗外面
一直站到下午放学为止
320
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:23,913
绝对不会心软,明白了没有?
321
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:28,192
谁有胆子单独玩我就等于集体自杀
322
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,760
明白了没有?
323
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,092
希望没有吓到大家
324
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:40,664
现在上中国文学课
今天讲的呢是[出师表]
325
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:45,876
出师表的作者呢是诸葛亮
326
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,569
又名孔明
327
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:52,610
所以呢又叫做诸葛孔明
328
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,288
怎么全跑光了?刚才还好好的
329
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:59,321
校长,校长…
330
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:01,820
什么事啊? 我不见了…
331
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,986
是不是钱包啊?
每个新来的老师都会被学生偷的了
332
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:06,528
女厕所第三格,这儿没有
333
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:07,460
不是呀!
334
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,226
我不是钱包不见了 又有新招?
335
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,102
我不见了整班学生呀!
336
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,404
快…快来啊
337
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,939
你不是说全班学生都走光了吗?
338
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:21,238
喂…你刚刚明明不在这里的
339
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:22,779
你老实点啊!
340
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,211
你…你告诉校长,快说
341
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,112
你不要吵,ACE你说!
342
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,453
快站起来说啊!
343
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,849
刚才候老师在黑板上
写了些东西就出去了
344
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,155
Monday约了叶子楣
Tuesday找陈动奇
345
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,852
【星期三脱衣服;星期四摸大腿】
346
00:21:36,995 --> 00:21:38,929
Friday去了Mary家,礼拜六没性欲
347
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,531
【Sunday搞得要自渎】
348
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:42,661
候老师,你怎么解释啊?
349
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,098
不关我的事啊 内空我不怪你
350
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,329
上中文课怎么可以教英文呢?
351
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:48,497
下次不要再犯了!
352
00:21:57,215 --> 00:21:59,877
候老师,别慌,我们还在这里
353
00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:02,219
刚才你们全班跑哪去了?
354
00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:05,719
候老师,如果我们以后
可以和平共处的话
355
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:08,985
我们就不会再逃学或失踪了
你觉得怎么样?
356
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:10,992
我可以先吗?
357
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:15,093
为了表示我们的诚意
我们A班三天之内不会整你
358
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:17,258
但是BCDEF这几班龙潭虎穴
359
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:18,767
我们帮不了你咯
360
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:21,432
龙潭虎穴?
361
00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:28,276
老师早安
362
00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:42,953
早安
363
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:55,101
各位同学我的名字叫做候瑞…
364
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:02,308
候瑞坚
365
00:23:15,594 --> 00:23:17,061
这个人怎么回事啊?
366
00:23:17,195 --> 00:23:21,325
有没有搞错啊?
就是啊,等个公车还带椅子
367
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,559
神经! 还没见过
368
00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:25,868
你知道现在搭公车有多逼
369
00:23:26,037 --> 00:23:28,232
自己不带椅子来,哪有位子坐啊
370
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,807
笨蛋 白痴!神经病!
371
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:34,910
老师早安
372
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,740
我已经受够了,我不会再客气
373
00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:10,177
你们这班是全校最顽皮的H班
374
00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:12,907
听说你们班有位
最皮最下流最无耻的
375
00:24:13,051 --> 00:24:16,077
阿诺舒华辛力加,出来
376
00:24:18,723 --> 00:24:21,191
我要的是阿诺舒华辛力加
377
00:24:21,326 --> 00:24:22,691
不是的那两个坐下
378
00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:23,590
我是阿诺
379
00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:25,696
我是舒华 我是辛力加
380
00:24:25,897 --> 00:24:28,923
我们是阿诺舒华辛力加
381
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:32,400
我现在开始上课
你们不要有什么不良的企图
382
00:24:32,537 --> 00:24:36,098
否则将会有非常非常悲惨的后果
383
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:26,113
伤得这么严重啊,真的没得救了
384
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:30,053
我真的受重伤
真的受重伤了,是不是?
385
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:33,388
我是说你的眼镜伤得很重
让我看看啊
386
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:38,329
很简单嘛,我帮你用点
丙铜或者EDER来融合一下
387
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,495
再用点矽质磨铜膏磨一下就行了
388
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:43,139
那我有没有受伤?
伤得严不严重啊?
389
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:46,105
黐东西我会啊,黐人我不会
390
00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:48,277
你没事吧?
391
00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:53,073
你生命力好强喔
392
00:25:53,251 --> 00:25:54,218
我是候瑞坚
393
00:25:54,686 --> 00:25:55,744
我叫林梦想
394
00:25:56,321 --> 00:25:57,788
候先生,我是化学老师
395
00:25:58,123 --> 00:25:58,885
梦想
396
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:01,991
英文名字叫珍妮
在这里负责教体育
397
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:04,726
我是化学教师呀
398
00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:08,161
我是全科教师
全科教师就是什么都教
399
00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:09,800
我真的是化学教师啊
400
00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:12,993
那些学生说我还没记性
这是谣言呐
401
00:26:13,138 --> 00:26:15,868
我知道你是候老师,她是林老师
402
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,200
记性不错吧?
403
00:26:17,442 --> 00:26:18,534
请问你贵姓呀?
404
00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:20,677
我姓…
405
00:26:21,379 --> 00:26:22,710
先看一下身份证
406
00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:26,174
惨啦!我的身份证呢?
407
00:26:27,018 --> 00:26:29,782
难道去年遗失忘了补领了?
408
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,088
你出去问一下学生
不就知道你姓什么了吗
409
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:36,227
是…我教哪一班啊?
410
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:40,794
我的记性很好啊
我知道你是候老师
411
00:26:40,966 --> 00:26:42,627
你是林老师 是啊
412
00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:43,701
我去问一下
413
00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:45,629
我真的是化学教师哦
414
00:26:47,505 --> 00:26:49,837
这么健忘怎么当老师呀? 是啊
415
00:26:50,008 --> 00:26:52,203
这所学校还真是有意思
416
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,208
对了,你是怎么受伤的?
417
00:26:56,214 --> 00:26:58,182
我被学生用书包扔晕的
418
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,016
这所学校的学生是调皮了一点
419
00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:02,016
不过他们的心地很善良的
420
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:03,687
他们的本性好凶残的
421
00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:06,085
慢慢教罗
我们有责任把他们教好的
422
00:27:06,324 --> 00:27:07,348
是啊
423
00:27:07,659 --> 00:27:09,786
林老师,我买了可乐
424
00:27:12,163 --> 00:27:13,187
你刚好一点,你喝吧
425
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:14,389
好啊
426
00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:19,537
你知不知道这罐汽水
我走了很远去食物部买的
427
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:21,296
你口渴,自己去买啊
428
00:27:21,506 --> 00:27:23,736
好好好,你自己喝吧
429
00:27:24,275 --> 00:27:26,106
你渴了嘛,快去啊
430
00:27:26,277 --> 00:27:28,245
我真的不口渴,干嘛要我买汽水啊
431
00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:31,108
如果你流了满地血你渴不渴啊?
432
00:27:31,249 --> 00:27:33,843
你告诉我你渴不渴啊
陈慧蟹老师
433
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,579
校长 校长
434
00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:39,087
候老师受了点伤,你代他的课
435
00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:40,019
我?
436
00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:41,453
这一节是教数学
437
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,188
马子是我先泡到的,你不要乱泡呀
438
00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:51,133
你也休息一下吧
439
00:27:56,975 --> 00:27:58,272
各位同学明白了吗?
440
00:27:59,577 --> 00:28:01,704
不明白呀,啊?
441
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,577
你们这些人都是吃屎长大的
442
00:28:04,783 --> 00:28:09,982
想当年我跟另一班人吵架
443
00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:12,988
准备开打,大家都带家伙去
444
00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:18,585
上面砍死三个,下面干掉三个
445
00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,957
他们放火烧了我的夜总会
446
00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:24,096
我就带着兄弟去烧了他的卡拉OK
447
00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:29,996
结果呢我把他整个地盘都翻过来了
448
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:33,442
接着两帮人准备开打
449
00:28:33,611 --> 00:28:35,374
全部被警察给抓走
450
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:39,347
只剩两三个到公园去,一对一
451
00:28:39,951 --> 00:28:43,478
结果呢全部挂掉了,死剩一个
452
00:28:43,688 --> 00:28:45,155
而这个人呢
453
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:48,583
就是你们老师,我啦
现在明白了吧?
454
00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:52,194
好啊
455
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,089
谢谢指教…
456
00:28:55,266 --> 00:28:56,597
我是来接替你上课的
457
00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:59,599
各位同学,这个是你们正式老大
458
00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:04,064
喂,这班学生难教啊
现在重返你门下
459
00:29:04,375 --> 00:29:07,139
以后找我代课啊
你要私下付薪水给我
460
00:29:07,278 --> 00:29:08,677
知不知道? 好啊
461
00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:10,808
就这样了
462
00:29:11,449 --> 00:29:13,280
各位同学,我叫候瑞坚
463
00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:15,313
我今天不是来教大家的
464
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,546
我是希望跟大家一齐学习一齐进步
465
00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:20,247
这里有些汽水不成敬意
466
00:29:20,458 --> 00:29:22,187
如果大家有什么不HAPPY的
467
00:29:22,393 --> 00:29:23,621
一定要坦白的告诉我
468
00:29:23,795 --> 00:29:24,727
多多指教
469
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:30,067
赏脸,赏脸
谢谢老师,谢谢老师
470
00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:32,494
赏脸,赏脸
471
00:29:32,670 --> 00:29:33,602
谢谢老师
472
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:35,205
这位同学你哪里舒服呀
473
00:29:35,540 --> 00:29:37,064
没事,没事了,你继续呀
474
00:29:37,242 --> 00:29:38,402
你觉得怎么样啊?
475
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:41,773
没事了,我去上厕所
476
00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:43,813
你等我一下,我带你去医疗室呀
477
00:29:43,982 --> 00:29:45,449
同学同学,你哪里不舒服啊
478
00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:46,345
哎哟,我肚子好痛哦
479
00:29:46,518 --> 00:29:47,985
我看看,我看看
480
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,114
你转过脸来啊
481
00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:52,455
我感冒了,我不想传染给你
482
00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:55,157
哎呀,你头上有蟑螂
483
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:56,282
蟑螂?
484
00:29:56,961 --> 00:29:58,826
你是关德卿
485
00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:00,396
我是吴小元呀,老师
486
00:30:00,598 --> 00:30:02,293
你明明是关德卿
为什么在这里扮学生?
487
00:30:02,433 --> 00:30:03,331
我不是
488
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,162
你是 我不是
489
00:30:05,336 --> 00:30:06,132
你是关德卿
490
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:07,032
我不是
491
00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:08,434
你还不承认? 我不是
492
00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:09,972
你还不承认? 我不是
493
00:30:13,611 --> 00:30:14,873
你整天跟着我有什么企图啊?
494
00:30:15,513 --> 00:30:16,377
你先承认你是关德卿
495
00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,477
我叫吴小元,老师
496
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,548
你是吴小元?
497
00:30:21,052 --> 00:30:23,384
如果你想帮我改姓
得先问过我老爸啊
498
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:26,650
三块钱
499
00:30:27,091 --> 00:30:28,058
老爸
500
00:30:28,259 --> 00:30:29,624
好,过来帮忙…
501
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:31,921
这位老师老说我是姓关的
502
00:30:34,032 --> 00:30:35,624
你是她老爸?
503
00:30:36,701 --> 00:30:38,362
是啊,我是她老爸
504
00:30:39,804 --> 00:30:40,998
我肯定你不是她老爸
505
00:30:41,806 --> 00:30:42,932
你怎么知道?
506
00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:48,410
不是,我真的是她老爸
你看,我们一个模子印出来的
507
00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:53,346
你不就是总部那个老牌卧底黑仔达?
508
00:30:53,551 --> 00:30:56,611
是啊…不是…我是这里校工达叔呀!
509
00:30:56,821 --> 00:30:58,083
候老师,吃鱼丸
510
00:30:58,223 --> 00:30:59,451
好
511
00:31:00,291 --> 00:31:01,451
你是学生?
512
00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:03,954
你是校工? 是呀
513
00:31:05,496 --> 00:31:09,023
出来一下,来啊,来啊
514
00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:13,061
哎呀,老师你再不放手我要叫了
515
00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:14,796
我数三下1,2,3
516
00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:16,031
45678910
517
00:31:21,646 --> 00:31:22,704
林老师
518
00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:24,306
干嘛?
519
00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:26,277
男厕所在那边
520
00:31:26,918 --> 00:31:29,352
我看看Ladies这个字
有没有拼错而已嘛
521
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:30,680
哦
522
00:31:31,756 --> 00:31:32,984
对的
523
00:31:42,667 --> 00:31:43,929
晚上放学再算嘛
524
00:31:45,703 --> 00:31:47,227
看什么看啊?
525
00:31:48,106 --> 00:31:49,130
没看过抽烟呀?
526
00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:50,338
没有
527
00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:52,271
没看过抽得这么鬼祟的
528
00:31:53,845 --> 00:31:54,903
说什么你?
529
00:31:59,150 --> 00:32:02,210
我问你,你是什么来头啊?
你新来的?
530
00:32:04,455 --> 00:32:07,219
跟大家姐讲话还这么嚣张啊
531
00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:08,819
哪个是大家姐?
532
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,087
怎么你交学费的时候没有问清楚吗
533
00:32:11,229 --> 00:32:12,696
我交学费来读书
534
00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:14,957
不是来认亲认戚的!
535
00:32:15,133 --> 00:32:16,327
八婆!
536
00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:20,303
不要跟我打呀!
537
00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:23,372
看见大家姐都不敬礼
还不把所有钱财拿出来贡献
538
00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:25,235
我现在一脚把你揣到墙角去
539
00:32:25,376 --> 00:32:27,173
这么拽!扁她!
540
00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:37,553
不要打啦!
541
00:32:53,004 --> 00:32:54,995
还有没有人要打啊?
542
00:32:58,242 --> 00:32:59,607
怎么样啊?大家姐
543
00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:01,336
我是二家姐
544
00:33:01,612 --> 00:33:02,874
那谁是大家姐呀?
545
00:33:04,015 --> 00:33:05,710
你是大家姐啊
546
00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:08,181
那还差不多
547
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,268
你不要再唱了
548
00:33:29,474 --> 00:33:30,441
不好听啊
549
00:33:34,579 --> 00:33:35,705
也不好听
550
00:33:41,552 --> 00:33:42,484
黑仔达 干吗?
551
00:33:42,653 --> 00:33:43,847
你不要再装蒜了
552
00:33:44,055 --> 00:33:46,523
我是夺命剪刀脚的入室弟子一阳指
553
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:47,680
如果你再不说真说话的话
554
00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:50,090
我就一指笃爆你
不要说谎话了
555
00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:52,492
手指怎么会笃爆脑袋瓜呢?
556
00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:53,426
笃不爆是不是? 不爆
557
00:33:53,564 --> 00:33:55,759
我笃…
558
00:33:56,334 --> 00:33:58,165
你神经病啊?这么笃也会痛吗
559
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,028
关德卿到底是不是你女儿?
560
00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:01,899
不是
561
00:34:02,106 --> 00:34:03,505
你是金牌卧底黑仔达
562
00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,131
是…不是…
563
00:34:05,276 --> 00:34:06,334
暗号
564
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:09,009
我是英女皇的儿子的老表的崇拜者
565
00:34:09,147 --> 00:34:10,944
那个干妈的大姨妈,她的狗
566
00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:13,583
我是候赛恩的老相好的大哥的叔公的
567
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:14,912
拜把老母的那块骨头
568
00:34:15,086 --> 00:34:16,314
狗咬狗骨 人地人渣
569
00:34:16,487 --> 00:34:18,819
我是皇家警察候瑞坚警官
570
00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:22,820
我也是皇家警察
里面的边缘人黑仔达
571
00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,052
刚才问你为什么不承认?
572
00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:25,525
你没有说暗号我怎么承认?
573
00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:26,789
总之你就是我的线人
574
00:34:26,964 --> 00:34:28,829
快点告诉我
关德卿为什么是你女儿
575
00:34:29,267 --> 00:34:30,427
因为我也是她的线人呐
576
00:34:31,102 --> 00:34:32,364
你摆明是收两家茶礼
577
00:34:32,703 --> 00:34:34,864
没办法,侯长官
黄局长派你来当卧底
578
00:34:34,939 --> 00:34:36,873
蜘蛛精派她来做卧底
两个都要立功
579
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,065
让我很难做
580
00:34:38,209 --> 00:34:40,769
老兄,不要搞啊
是煤气喉呢,会爆炸的
581
00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:42,468
难怪阿卿要跟我分手
582
00:34:42,947 --> 00:34:43,811
我现在马上去找她
583
00:34:44,048 --> 00:34:45,743
不用找了,她现在住我家
584
00:34:46,150 --> 00:34:47,014
我也住
585
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:47,979
那怎么行啊?
586
00:34:48,986 --> 00:34:49,953
为什么不行?
587
00:34:50,788 --> 00:34:52,119
你当我是什么人啊?
588
00:34:52,523 --> 00:34:53,854
好了,今晚早点来
589
00:34:54,692 --> 00:34:55,954
不行,他不可以住在这里
590
00:34:56,127 --> 00:34:57,719
她是我的线人,政府帮我付钱
591
00:34:57,862 --> 00:34:58,954
我当然可以住在这里
592
00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:01,162
你现在身份是我老爸
593
00:35:01,299 --> 00:35:02,766
怎么可以让这淫贼住在这里?
594
00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:06,498
你现在是我老妈
怎么可以让这个贱妇住在这里
595
00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:10,001
没问题啊!一个淫贼,一个贱妇
596
00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:11,903
一对狗男女,天作之合!
597
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,812
我不管,如果明天他还在这里
598
00:35:14,979 --> 00:35:16,571
我就会用适当的武力
599
00:35:16,714 --> 00:35:17,772
阿卿你怎么这么说…
600
00:35:17,982 --> 00:35:21,315
我们现在各为其主
请你叫我做关德卿督察
601
00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:23,351
候瑞坚探员
602
00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:29,486
你干嘛老看着酒瓶子
有什么好看的
603
00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:32,887
我现在正在戒酒
这一招叫做望梅止渴
604
00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:34,860
给我看久一点,我就有够HIGH
605
00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:36,863
要是给我闻一下,马上醉啊
606
00:35:38,269 --> 00:35:39,258
真的行啊?
607
00:35:39,837 --> 00:35:42,101
大哥,很贵的哦,看久了要亏本的
608
00:35:42,306 --> 00:35:43,398
借酒浇愁嘛
609
00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:46,268
怕了你了!你真的很喜欢她吗?
610
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,135
你问得这么直接
611
00:35:49,347 --> 00:35:51,406
我以前那老婆比她更凶悍
612
00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:52,742
给我一招就摆平了
613
00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:53,880
哪一招啊?
614
00:35:54,051 --> 00:35:56,144
我一看见她就搂她
搂着她就亲亲…
615
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,049
亲她全身,然后亲到她融化
616
00:35:58,222 --> 00:36:01,055
哗!第二天看到我
比看到黎明还高兴啊
617
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:02,819
真的行啊?
618
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,552
当然可以了!来!
619
00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:08,321
以前那个周星星督察啊
就全靠我把这个东西给他
620
00:36:08,533 --> 00:36:09,761
才笃合一对好姻缘呐
621
00:36:09,967 --> 00:36:12,367
好好利用呀,人家可是好女孩啊!
622
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:13,128
真的?
623
00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:14,304
口臭!
624
00:36:46,304 --> 00:36:49,034
这玩意不是这么用的
625
00:36:49,173 --> 00:36:51,801
年青人性知识真是贫乏啊
626
00:36:53,177 --> 00:36:54,269
她打我呀!
627
00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:56,038
她喜欢这种调调啊
628
00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:58,545
我房间有根皮鞭,我拿给你啊
629
00:37:04,488 --> 00:37:07,082
这么吵啊
630
00:37:55,973 --> 00:37:57,736
我不能没有你!
631
00:37:59,343 --> 00:38:01,777
没有你我都不知道怎么做人
632
00:38:03,314 --> 00:38:06,283
我要一生一世都跟你在一起
633
00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:29,395
看来看去就是这张最顺眼
634
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:39,582
叫你闻一下而已
谁要你把我的好酒干光
635
00:38:39,717 --> 00:38:40,684
醉了活该!
636
00:38:40,885 --> 00:38:43,217
来,吃碗粥清清肠胃!
637
00:38:45,690 --> 00:38:46,679
吃不吃咸蛋呀?
638
00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:48,485
好啊
639
00:38:52,396 --> 00:38:53,863
怎么咸蛋放在盐罐里面啊?
640
00:38:54,131 --> 00:38:56,122
要不然怎么够咸啊?来啊
641
00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:00,627
臭豆腐要不要啊?
642
00:39:00,805 --> 00:39:03,399
我很喜欢吃呀! 好
643
00:39:06,210 --> 00:39:08,235
有没有搞错啊?
怎么从鞋子里面拿出来?
644
00:39:08,446 --> 00:39:10,539
不然怎么够臭呀!真是!
645
00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:12,372
吃啊!
646
00:39:13,718 --> 00:39:15,481
有好的豆腐乳诶
647
00:39:15,653 --> 00:39:17,211
豆腐乳? 是啊
648
00:39:18,055 --> 00:39:18,817
你干什么呀?
649
00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:21,514
根据你的理论
豆腐乳一定是在乳房里啊
650
00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:23,553
你有毛病啊!
651
00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:25,119
吃粥啦
652
00:39:25,529 --> 00:39:26,427
阿卿呢?
653
00:39:26,597 --> 00:39:27,689
早上学去了
654
00:39:28,065 --> 00:39:32,092
腿好漂亮哦
嗨小元同学,你寂寞吗?
655
00:39:32,303 --> 00:39:33,463
我家里好大
656
00:39:33,671 --> 00:39:37,698
而且我家里还有
啤酒、汽水,还有果汁
657
00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:40,073
不要管这群社会败类
658
00:39:40,244 --> 00:39:41,211
今晚来我家
659
00:39:41,412 --> 00:39:43,277
我们温习功课
660
00:39:43,647 --> 00:39:44,909
就只有你最…
661
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,311
虚伪!
662
00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:51,183
我是在说笑的,不说哪有得笑啊
663
00:39:51,355 --> 00:39:53,380
OK,OK?
664
00:39:53,791 --> 00:39:55,782
扁他
665
00:39:56,627 --> 00:39:59,653
好像是高三的吴小元
怎么变得那么漂亮啊
666
00:40:00,131 --> 00:40:01,530
还蛮受男生欢迎的哦!
667
00:40:01,799 --> 00:40:03,824
淫贱,世风日下!
668
00:40:04,001 --> 00:40:05,628
不知廉耻 没那么严重吧?
669
00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:06,668
林老师,候老师
670
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,771
不严重?她泡小男生还不严重
671
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:11,305
她也是小女生而已啊
672
00:40:11,475 --> 00:40:13,807
现在十六七岁谈恋爱很平常
673
00:40:13,978 --> 00:40:15,275
开放一点嘛
674
00:40:15,913 --> 00:40:17,608
一发难收
675
00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:28,420
别挡路啊
676
00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:29,923
没记号啊
677
00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:34,457
还是没记号啊
678
00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:35,788
大家姐 怎么样?
679
00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:37,991
扒了七八个都没着落
680
00:40:38,536 --> 00:40:41,004
我们要调查的目标还有谁啊?
681
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,536
好棒啊!还要不要玩?
682
00:40:47,711 --> 00:40:49,975
你们玩吧,拜拜
拜拜
683
00:41:03,828 --> 00:41:05,420
怎么样? 快来了
684
00:41:05,563 --> 00:41:06,427
走
685
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:10,528
嗨,ACE 嗨
686
00:41:22,379 --> 00:41:22,868
怎么样啊?
687
00:41:23,047 --> 00:41:24,105
无上装
688
00:41:32,556 --> 00:41:33,853
目标无下装
689
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:35,720
有没有胎记啊? 没有啊
690
00:41:35,893 --> 00:41:38,088
走开,让我来
691
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,495
那谁会是小狗呢?
692
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:53,475
去告诉大家姐 好
693
00:41:55,846 --> 00:41:57,177
大哥,怎么样啊?
694
00:41:57,314 --> 00:41:58,474
都走光了
695
00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:01,208
那你先把内裤还给我啊
696
00:42:02,086 --> 00:42:04,054
内裤要天天洗
697
00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:07,889
吴小元
698
00:42:09,126 --> 00:42:10,388
有事吗?林老师
699
00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:13,121
小元啊,侯老师说你的裙子太短了
700
00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:14,526
回去换长一点
701
00:42:14,665 --> 00:42:16,098
以后不要穿那么短的来上学哦
702
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,867
是
703
00:42:20,771 --> 00:42:22,363
你以为你是叶子楣还是叶玉卿呀?
704
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:23,598
给人家白看不吃亏的
705
00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:25,298
为了要查案子
当然就要牺牲一点啦!
706
00:42:25,476 --> 00:42:27,068
什么都行,牺牲色相就不行
707
00:42:27,278 --> 00:42:29,940
我们已经分手,你还管我干嘛?
708
00:42:30,414 --> 00:42:31,745
那我们就各玩各的
709
00:42:31,916 --> 00:42:33,042
那最好!
710
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:34,774
好啊
711
00:42:39,156 --> 00:42:40,783
林老师,我有两张演唱会的票
712
00:42:40,991 --> 00:42:41,958
今晚我们听歌去
713
00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:44,251
让学生看见不太好吧?
714
00:42:44,795 --> 00:42:46,558
你不是叫我开放一点嘛
715
00:42:52,036 --> 00:42:53,867
对了,你很喜欢听演唱会吗?
716
00:42:54,638 --> 00:42:55,969
我根本就没票
717
00:43:08,485 --> 00:43:09,577
谁呀?
718
00:43:14,992 --> 00:43:16,152
谁呀?
719
00:43:19,630 --> 00:43:22,121
谁啊?谁?出来!
720
00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:23,891
扭到脖子了这下
721
00:43:25,803 --> 00:43:26,963
你那么紧张干吗?
722
00:43:27,171 --> 00:43:29,605
怎么会不紧张啊?
最近学校出了个屁股淫魔
723
00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:32,300
十个男人有九个被拔裤子查屁股啊
724
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:33,774
你害怕啊? 怕啊
725
00:43:33,978 --> 00:43:35,741
我的屁股是玉洁冰清啊
726
00:43:36,347 --> 00:43:38,907
我知道!这件事
是阿卿跟那些女学生搞的
727
00:43:39,049 --> 00:43:40,141
找那个小狗嘛
728
00:43:41,652 --> 00:43:43,142
说就说嘛,动手动脚的!
729
00:43:43,387 --> 00:43:44,854
是这样啊,那就没关系了
730
00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:47,081
你没关系,我有关系呀!
731
00:43:47,257 --> 00:43:49,817
可怜我女朋友每天要看
几十个大大小小面积不同
732
00:43:49,994 --> 00:43:51,723
有圆有方有三角
733
00:43:51,895 --> 00:43:54,455
中间还有条缝
缝里面还长了有毛的肉团
734
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:58,329
肉团两边还长了
好多颗凹凹凸凸的脓疮
735
00:43:59,136 --> 00:44:00,797
脓疮上面还有脓流出来
736
00:44:00,971 --> 00:44:03,701
那些脓还是黄色的
737
00:44:04,341 --> 00:44:07,310
有东西就不要放在肚子里面
不吐不快呀
738
00:44:09,713 --> 00:44:11,078
真是不吐不快呀!
739
00:44:11,415 --> 00:44:14,111
对不起….不好意思…
740
00:44:15,519 --> 00:44:16,508
候老师
741
00:44:17,121 --> 00:44:17,712
林老师
742
00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:18,614
林老师
743
00:44:18,789 --> 00:44:20,814
对了,这次我想请你帮我一个忙!
744
00:44:20,991 --> 00:44:22,982
行啊!候老师一定行的!
745
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,821
还有你呀! 我啊?
746
00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:26,724
不过可能要牺牲一点点啊
747
00:44:26,897 --> 00:44:28,922
他行啊,他行! 不要啊…
748
00:44:29,166 --> 00:44:31,726
我上性教育课,正巧啊带子坏掉了
749
00:44:31,935 --> 00:44:34,199
所以想请你们两位
帮我示范一下,好不好?
750
00:44:34,371 --> 00:44:37,568
性教育?好呀好呀…
751
00:44:37,775 --> 00:44:39,436
还要化妆才行哦
752
00:44:39,910 --> 00:44:42,879
跟你呀,化成灰也行啊!
753
00:44:43,247 --> 00:44:46,978
各位同学,今天我们
请到候老师来帮我们做示范
754
00:44:49,253 --> 00:44:50,914
候老师,请到这边
755
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:02,188
当一个正常的男生到了十三四岁
756
00:45:02,399 --> 00:45:04,799
他的精囊就开始制造精子
757
00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:07,299
数量呢是数以亿计的
758
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,029
为了延续下一代而做好准备
759
00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:11,798
每一条精虫的形状呢
760
00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:15,443
就好像候老师现在一样
后面有一条长长的尾巴
761
00:45:15,813 --> 00:45:19,977
也就是说,这条精虫这一生
唯一会做的工作就是游泳
762
00:45:20,217 --> 00:45:24,085
他是希望可以遊到
女性的生殖器官里面
763
00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:25,619
找到卵子
764
00:45:25,823 --> 00:45:29,884
我游呀…
765
00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:42,901
一个正常的女性每次在
她的经期之后呢,就会开始排卵
766
00:45:43,107 --> 00:45:45,302
而每一次的排卵都只排一颗卵子
767
00:45:48,645 --> 00:45:50,135
这颗就是了
768
00:45:52,516 --> 00:45:56,452
所以数以亿计的精虫,他的物件
769
00:45:56,653 --> 00:45:58,382
就围绕着这颗卵子
770
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,716
卵子啊,我要入你呀卵子…
771
00:46:00,958 --> 00:46:03,654
邵官…不好意思啊
772
00:46:03,861 --> 00:46:05,328
校长不知道你来,他出去了!
773
00:46:05,462 --> 00:46:06,895
我们宁外安排时间您再来吧!
774
00:46:07,097 --> 00:46:08,758
我向来喜欢突击检查
775
00:46:08,966 --> 00:46:12,299
安排好的行程
是看不到学校的真面目
776
00:46:12,503 --> 00:46:14,437
当第一条精虫游近卵子
777
00:46:14,638 --> 00:46:16,731
卵子就会伸出它的触须
778
00:46:16,907 --> 00:46:18,670
我要啊…
779
00:46:19,510 --> 00:46:21,910
遊得这么辛苦也值得了!
去吧,Happy罗
780
00:46:22,045 --> 00:46:23,774
当精虫进入卵子里面
781
00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:25,471
这样就是一颗受精卵了
782
00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:32,615
大概过了40个礼拜之后
小BB就诞生了
783
00:46:58,582 --> 00:46:59,742
Hello两位 你好
784
00:46:59,883 --> 00:47:02,044
邵官她是想知道他们两个在做什么
785
00:47:02,352 --> 00:47:04,718
他们是在帮我示范性教育
786
00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:15,532
你怎么可以这么做?
787
00:47:15,699 --> 00:47:18,031
我… 我什么?你太过份了你
788
00:47:21,138 --> 00:47:22,833
有些人不骂就是不行
789
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:29,237
好耶,再来一个,再来一个!
790
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,138
是不是?岂不便宜别人了,真是
791
00:47:40,090 --> 00:47:42,581
幸好,悬崖勒马!
792
00:48:11,088 --> 00:48:12,385
花支?
793
00:48:12,923 --> 00:48:14,754
铁老大想见你
794
00:48:31,341 --> 00:48:33,309
阿狗,很久不见了
795
00:48:33,443 --> 00:48:35,536
铁大哥,你好
796
00:48:46,356 --> 00:48:48,415
铁布衫硬气功?
797
00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:07,768
我这些年来练的功夫不是白废的
798
00:49:08,512 --> 00:49:10,480
王八蛋!认命吧!
799
00:49:17,087 --> 00:49:21,183
你敢到警备总部去指证我
就应该想到这一天
800
00:49:22,092 --> 00:49:24,890
铁镇东,你逃不掉的了
801
00:49:25,595 --> 00:49:29,258
我的口供
已经足够送你到外岛去管训了
802
00:49:29,599 --> 00:49:31,464
我已经查得一清二楚
803
00:49:31,902 --> 00:49:35,235
他们还没有拿到
你儿子手上的一批文件
804
00:49:35,872 --> 00:49:39,035
我明天就到香港去杀你儿子
805
00:49:39,743 --> 00:49:43,577
到时候
你们一家三口到地府见吧
806
00:49:47,117 --> 00:49:48,414
长官,我舅父在哪里?
807
00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:49,415
进了医院
808
00:49:49,553 --> 00:49:50,281
为什么?
809
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:51,719
刺激过度!
810
00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:52,684
怎么会呢?
811
00:49:52,856 --> 00:49:54,016
他收到封信 什么信呀?
812
00:49:54,391 --> 00:49:55,517
叫他退休的信
813
00:49:55,926 --> 00:49:58,690
从现在开始
这间警察局由我全权负责
814
00:49:58,829 --> 00:49:59,796
朱总警司,我…
815
00:49:59,930 --> 00:50:01,363
朱局长!
816
00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:05,461
我很忙啊,我要告诉你
一个好消息跟一个坏消息
817
00:50:05,602 --> 00:50:06,762
先说那个好的
818
00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:09,598
你做了卧底一个月,全无线索
819
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,967
我现在取消你危险的卧底工作
820
00:50:12,175 --> 00:50:13,870
马上到扫黄组报到
821
00:50:14,077 --> 00:50:16,409
他们需要一个像嫖客的人去放线
822
00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:17,943
不行啊,我还有工作在做啊
823
00:50:18,215 --> 00:50:21,776
由关德卿督察一个人接手全权负责
824
00:50:21,985 --> 00:50:22,417
是,局长
825
00:50:22,586 --> 00:50:24,520
黑仔达协助 是,局长
826
00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:26,713
你以后不准再回圣育强中学
827
00:50:30,193 --> 00:50:34,562
还有小狗的爸爸已经被台湾
第一号杀人王铁镇东杀死
828
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:38,395
听说,铁镇东已经偷渡来香港
准备杀小狗灭口
829
00:50:38,668 --> 00:50:40,260
阿卿,你加紧调查
830
00:50:40,404 --> 00:50:41,462
是,局长
831
00:50:42,272 --> 00:50:44,103
局长,那坏消息是什么啊?
832
00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:46,937
你上个月捉到的那个神经大贼丧波
833
00:50:47,110 --> 00:50:48,771
已经从医院逃出来了
834
00:50:49,846 --> 00:50:52,542
他走之前在墙上写了十四个大字
835
00:50:52,816 --> 00:50:55,580
【我要出去跟四眼仔再玩】
836
00:50:55,819 --> 00:50:57,650
局长,只有十个字而已啊
837
00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,686
还有四个字是脏话
838
00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:02,885
你是四眼仔是嘛?小心了
839
00:51:03,026 --> 00:51:04,084
出去
840
00:51:04,961 --> 00:51:06,792
出去之前,帮我叫杯奶茶跟吐司
841
00:51:07,964 --> 00:51:11,365
你神经脱线了!
你也配要我帮你买奶茶?
842
00:51:11,701 --> 00:51:13,191
我现在告诉你,我现在不干了
843
00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:14,995
圣育强中学我不会放弃
844
00:51:15,172 --> 00:51:16,799
我现在的身份是为人师表
845
00:51:16,940 --> 00:51:19,067
我要继续教下去,去你的
846
00:51:19,209 --> 00:51:20,176
候警官
847
00:51:20,310 --> 00:51:21,174
干什么?
848
00:51:21,378 --> 00:51:22,811
做人潇洒一点
849
00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:26,181
候老师候老师,我很明白你的苦处
850
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:27,944
你还当我是朋友吗? 当!
851
00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:30,076
朋友的义务就是
当有困难时要互相帮忙
852
00:51:30,220 --> 00:51:31,050
你知道吗 知道啊
853
00:51:31,221 --> 00:51:32,848
那先借三千块钱嫖妓行不行啊?
854
00:51:33,423 --> 00:51:34,583
喂…
855
00:52:08,492 --> 00:52:11,290
你是谁啊,为什么打我?
856
00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:15,463
他是我们大哥十四安,安哥呀!
857
00:52:19,269 --> 00:52:21,237
小子,你记着我呀
858
00:52:21,438 --> 00:52:23,599
我可不是打你一次就算了
859
00:52:24,007 --> 00:52:26,134
今天放学以后在学校门口
860
00:52:26,409 --> 00:52:28,934
向我三个小弟叩十八个响头
861
00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:30,477
再拜我的门下
862
00:52:30,647 --> 00:52:33,946
否则的话,我见你一次就扁你一次
863
00:52:55,705 --> 00:52:57,866
你今天好像很烦的样子
864
00:52:58,141 --> 00:53:00,541
Ace今天没来上学,又没跟学校请假
865
00:53:02,779 --> 00:53:05,373
这次他没话好说了吧
第三节都下课了
866
00:53:06,149 --> 00:53:08,014
这次铁定是不是要开除他了
867
00:53:08,652 --> 00:53:09,482
会不会有意外呀
868
00:53:09,653 --> 00:53:10,779
千万不要有意外呀
869
00:53:10,954 --> 00:53:13,047
我希望能够顺顺利利的
把他开除就算了
870
00:53:13,256 --> 00:53:15,281
照我说,逐他出墙门是免不了了
871
00:53:15,425 --> 00:53:16,517
你少说两句
872
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:21,324
校长,我觉得你这样针对ACE
对他很不公平啊
873
00:53:21,831 --> 00:53:23,890
校长,他还是个小孩子啊
874
00:53:24,100 --> 00:53:25,727
话可不能这么说啊
875
00:53:25,969 --> 00:53:28,233
所谓国有国法,家有家规
876
00:53:28,438 --> 00:53:31,737
我们龙头对他不满
怎么样也要把他抓回来受刑啊
877
00:53:32,409 --> 00:53:33,671
喂…
878
00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:36,944
一阳指
879
00:53:37,113 --> 00:53:38,273
是不是又想我掰你手指
880
00:53:38,415 --> 00:53:39,439
校长…
881
00:53:39,683 --> 00:53:40,547
校长你怎么了?
882
00:53:40,717 --> 00:53:41,479
我的胃好痛
883
00:53:41,651 --> 00:53:42,777
校长,你不是胃痛
884
00:53:42,953 --> 00:53:44,944
你中了我的家传绝技一阳指
885
00:53:45,155 --> 00:53:47,123
校长,再给Ace一次机会嘛
886
00:53:47,324 --> 00:53:50,384
是啊,校长,起码你要
清楚他迟到的原因啊
887
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,494
一次 候SIR
888
00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:55,190
什么事啊?
889
00:53:55,865 --> 00:53:58,163
Ace你怎么会搞成这个样子?
890
00:53:58,435 --> 00:54:01,165
他在校门口晕倒,我扶他进来的
891
00:54:01,304 --> 00:54:04,467
看你现在这德性
就知道你被人家给扁啦
892
00:54:04,608 --> 00:54:07,304
我是被阿诺舒华辛力加的大哥
十四安打的
893
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:11,180
平日就不好好读书,光招惹黑社会
894
00:54:11,348 --> 00:54:12,747
你活该给人家扁
895
00:54:13,283 --> 00:54:15,774
打电话通知他家长办退学手续
896
00:54:16,586 --> 00:54:19,453
我没有家长,我老妈死了
897
00:54:20,056 --> 00:54:22,115
校长,这个学校有很多黑社会学生
898
00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:23,988
他是受害人,你不应该开除他的
899
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,094
我不杀鸡敬猴
那些学生怎么会变好
900
00:54:26,229 --> 00:54:26,957
没错 好
901
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,826
如果一个月之内我把学校校风搞好
902
00:54:28,999 --> 00:54:30,762
每个成绩拿A,操行人人甲等
903
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:31,764
你是不是不开除他
904
00:54:31,935 --> 00:54:33,596
你的出发点是非常的好
905
00:54:33,770 --> 00:54:35,795
光靠嘴巴也没有用啊,候老师
906
00:54:35,939 --> 00:54:37,770
如果一个月之内我做不成功的话
907
00:54:37,907 --> 00:54:39,033
我自动辞职
908
00:54:39,409 --> 00:54:41,377
校长,我支持候老师
909
00:54:42,178 --> 00:54:44,442
校长,我跟你最对盘
910
00:54:44,614 --> 00:54:46,206
比我的拜把兄弟还要好
911
00:54:46,549 --> 00:54:49,382
这码事我帮不了你
912
00:54:51,154 --> 00:54:53,418
林老师,我是跟定你啊
913
00:54:53,857 --> 00:54:55,882
我们支持候老师
914
00:54:57,394 --> 00:54:59,453
好,我就给你一个月的时间
915
00:54:59,629 --> 00:55:02,097
如果不是每个学生
成绩拿A,操行甲等
916
00:55:02,232 --> 00:55:03,597
我照样开除他
917
00:55:06,102 --> 00:55:08,366
候老师好棒
918
00:55:10,907 --> 00:55:13,535
候老师,你不用这样为我
919
00:55:14,778 --> 00:55:18,179
你是我学生,我有责任要帮你的嘛
920
00:55:18,715 --> 00:55:21,513
我怕今天都过不了
921
00:55:21,685 --> 00:55:22,811
为什么?
922
00:55:23,753 --> 00:55:25,914
十四安约了我放学之后在门口等他
923
00:55:26,089 --> 00:55:28,057
要我向阿诺舒华辛力力认错
924
00:55:28,224 --> 00:55:30,590
什么话?十四安这么嚣张啊
925
00:55:31,127 --> 00:55:33,118
你不用怕,有老师我在这里
926
00:55:33,363 --> 00:55:35,422
我马上带班兄弟去砍他
927
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,262
你已经从良了,你忘啦?
928
00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:40,700
是啊,那怎么办?
929
00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:41,893
等我来
930
00:55:46,576 --> 00:55:48,771
你现在不是警察,不要乱来啊
931
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:54,075
喂? 喂,舅父呀
我现在在学校里
932
00:55:54,284 --> 00:55:56,718
我都被炒鱿鱼了
你不要搞这么多事情来
933
00:55:57,620 --> 00:55:58,518
我怎么都不会放弃
934
00:55:58,755 --> 00:56:00,222
喂,我想找你帮个忙
935
00:56:19,409 --> 00:56:20,774
老大,他带大堆人来了
936
00:56:27,517 --> 00:56:29,144
A士,你还真乖
937
00:56:29,352 --> 00:56:32,344
带那多人来拜我做老大,入我门
938
00:56:32,489 --> 00:56:34,320
统统跪下来向我叩头
939
00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:36,548
每个人要给三千三百块红包
940
00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:38,622
你在放屁呀,黑社会了不起啊
941
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:42,927
小龟啊,妈在这里啊
放学回家去吃饭啊
942
00:56:43,066 --> 00:56:45,159
老妈,你先回去,我有正经事要做
943
00:56:45,402 --> 00:56:47,666
敢顶嘴,K他老母
944
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,503
不要打我,不要打我
945
00:56:52,208 --> 00:56:53,266
老妈
946
00:56:53,710 --> 00:56:56,508
不要打老妈,不要打老妈
947
00:56:56,813 --> 00:56:57,939
不要打老妈
948
00:56:58,548 --> 00:57:01,483
老妈,我连累你了
949
00:57:03,553 --> 00:57:05,316
老大,K完他老母啦
950
00:57:09,959 --> 00:57:13,190
先生,请你不要用黑社会的手段
来恐吓我学生
951
00:57:13,363 --> 00:57:16,355
因为这是不合法不道德
不仁慈而且很憨居的
952
00:57:16,499 --> 00:57:19,400
所谓家有家规,国有国法,而且
953
00:57:19,903 --> 00:57:21,302
你知不知道你在说什么
954
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,427
说中文罗
955
00:57:23,306 --> 00:57:25,206
先生,尚未请教
956
00:57:25,842 --> 00:57:27,673
你老大我,十四安
957
00:57:28,645 --> 00:57:30,272
原来MrFourteen安士
958
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:32,813
看你的长相是人模人样,面目可憎
959
00:57:32,982 --> 00:57:34,609
不过我看见你有一颗善良的心
960
00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:36,274
不如我们化干戈为玉帛
961
00:57:36,953 --> 00:57:38,079
谁打我?谁打我?
962
00:57:38,254 --> 00:57:39,186
有内奸,有内奸
963
00:57:39,355 --> 00:57:42,256
奸你个头啊,我打你呀
尽说些废话
964
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:46,289
十四安,A士这码事我扛了
965
00:57:46,563 --> 00:57:49,031
如果你不服气的话
我可以跟你单挑
966
00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:51,133
一对一,绝不害怕
967
00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:56,364
陈老师,好棒哦…
968
00:57:56,873 --> 00:57:59,899
你看那些学生多拥护陈老师
比你罩得住
969
00:58:00,076 --> 00:58:03,239
又瘦又矮,学人家扮老大
你混哪里啊?
970
00:58:03,379 --> 00:58:04,573
盘我底,我…
971
00:58:04,848 --> 00:58:06,315
你已经从良了
972
00:58:07,517 --> 00:58:09,917
我佐敦道的,行吗?
973
00:58:10,086 --> 00:58:11,485
敢耍我,扁他
974
00:58:11,754 --> 00:58:14,052
老师跟学生都不能打架
975
00:58:14,190 --> 00:58:15,122
那谁去打呀?
976
00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:16,781
舅父
977
00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:19,052
什么来路啊?
978
00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:21,129
夺命剪刀脚
979
00:58:27,370 --> 00:58:28,860
老大,救命呀
980
00:58:29,038 --> 00:58:30,528
我救你,谁来救我呀
981
00:58:31,441 --> 00:58:32,601
你是哪个黑社会的
982
00:58:32,942 --> 00:58:34,068
我不是黑社会
983
00:58:34,377 --> 00:58:36,345
我是外界游,胡来的
984
00:58:36,813 --> 00:58:39,111
骗人的,活该有今天啊
985
00:58:39,415 --> 00:58:40,541
A士,出去收拾他
986
00:58:40,717 --> 00:58:41,877
走
987
00:58:42,118 --> 00:58:44,109
我早说过了
老师跟学生都不能打架
988
00:58:44,287 --> 00:58:45,447
我的朋友就不同了
989
00:58:45,588 --> 00:58:47,647
夹爆你的头 不要啊…
990
00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:49,223
还不道歉,道歉呀
991
00:58:49,459 --> 00:58:50,858
好,我道歉
992
00:58:52,328 --> 00:58:56,958
A士哥,我是个屁
我不值得同情,我该死
993
00:58:57,133 --> 00:58:58,930
你大人大量,放了我吧
994
00:58:59,135 --> 00:59:00,102
还不快滚!
995
00:59:00,336 --> 00:59:02,395
好…我滚…
996
00:59:02,872 --> 00:59:05,966
好啊
997
00:59:06,242 --> 00:59:09,143
我告诉你们,真正的大人物
是不会乱欺负人的
998
00:59:09,279 --> 00:59:11,440
只有那些下流无赖才会骗学生的钱
999
00:59:11,614 --> 00:59:12,808
你们应该知道该做啦
1000
00:59:13,016 --> 00:59:13,812
知道
1001
00:59:13,983 --> 00:59:15,507
我们要拜侯老师当老大
1002
00:59:15,652 --> 00:59:16,380
什么?
1003
00:59:16,619 --> 00:59:17,415
我们要走了
1004
00:59:17,620 --> 00:59:19,611
那两个是警校的自由搏击教练
1005
00:59:19,789 --> 00:59:20,585
我们还要回去上课呢
1006
00:59:20,757 --> 00:59:22,156
我的一阳指还不行啊
1007
00:59:22,325 --> 00:59:24,122
我知道,我已经录在录音带里面了
1008
00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:26,285
你回去听听就明白了,就这样了啊
1009
00:59:26,930 --> 00:59:29,558
一阳指一定要心意合一
才可以发挥力量
1010
00:59:29,732 --> 00:59:31,063
你现在气运丹田
1011
00:59:31,701 --> 00:59:33,100
丹田?哪里是丹田啊?
1012
00:59:33,303 --> 00:59:35,533
老二以上肚脐以下那里
1013
00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:38,870
眼观鼻,鼻观心,心观老二
1014
00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:41,874
眼观老二还可以,心怎么观老二啊
1015
00:59:42,011 --> 00:59:42,909
不要顶嘴
1016
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:45,843
气运于指,集中全身之力一指笃出
1017
01:00:17,380 --> 01:00:18,779
相信你已经成功了
1018
01:00:18,915 --> 01:00:19,847
我成功了? 恭喜你
1019
01:00:20,016 --> 01:00:22,382
但是这卷录音带
在15秒之后自动爆炸
1020
01:00:22,585 --> 01:00:23,552
你立刻离开
1021
01:00:24,220 --> 01:00:25,152
不会吧
1022
01:00:26,122 --> 01:00:27,248
死了,死了,怎么卡住了?
1023
01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:29,756
10、9 这下死定了
1024
01:00:29,926 --> 01:00:31,917
8、7
1025
01:00:32,128 --> 01:00:32,856
大哥呀
1026
01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:36,128
候老师,怎么回事啊?
1027
01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:40,033
干什么?
好危险,不能进去啊
1028
01:00:40,203 --> 01:00:41,898
不要拉着我,我好急呀
1029
01:00:42,238 --> 01:00:43,933
1 爆炸了
1030
01:00:49,779 --> 01:00:50,609
蟹哥
1031
01:00:50,747 --> 01:00:53,545
老哥,帮帮忙,好辛苦呀
1032
01:00:53,683 --> 01:00:55,082
怎么在这洗脸啊?
1033
01:01:04,761 --> 01:01:05,989
我顶
1034
01:01:22,011 --> 01:01:23,945
我不抽烟啦,不要打我呀
1035
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:25,938
大家头!怎么样啊?
1036
01:01:26,149 --> 01:01:26,877
继续啊
1037
01:01:27,050 --> 01:01:28,278
哦
1038
01:01:48,938 --> 01:01:51,634
作弊,有人作弊呀
1039
01:01:51,808 --> 01:01:55,107
打他,雷公手
1040
01:01:55,278 --> 01:01:56,506
你们不要这样打人啊
1041
01:01:56,679 --> 01:01:57,703
可是老师,他作弊
1042
01:01:57,880 --> 01:01:59,780
用拳头打是没有用的
1043
01:02:00,016 --> 01:02:01,381
用榔头K他
1044
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:02,381
拿去
1045
01:02:02,518 --> 01:02:03,507
真的要打啊?
1046
01:02:05,054 --> 01:02:06,919
我不敢了,我下次再也不敢了
1047
01:02:07,023 --> 01:02:08,957
摧心锥,对喉拓
1048
01:02:09,125 --> 01:02:10,422
打死你,看你还敢不敢?
1049
01:02:11,627 --> 01:02:13,117
好…好,谢谢你啊
1050
01:02:13,696 --> 01:02:14,594
校长
1051
01:02:14,864 --> 01:02:16,627
你两个拆那边,你两个拆这边
1052
01:02:16,833 --> 01:02:17,765
你拆这里
1053
01:02:29,178 --> 01:02:30,839
再见校长,快走快走
1054
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:35,308
小心点 行了
1055
01:02:37,553 --> 01:02:39,987
校长,这卷是你的写真集
1056
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:41,623
是我的精心杰作
1057
01:02:41,858 --> 01:02:43,052
可惜没什么看头
1058
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:44,318
你明白啦
1059
01:02:50,233 --> 01:02:51,757
不知道他们拿什么,好像成绩不错
1060
01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:52,890
你拿什么啊? 我拿A呀
1061
01:02:53,069 --> 01:02:54,832
不如问问他们啊 好啊
1062
01:02:55,738 --> 01:02:56,966
你拿什么? A
1063
01:02:57,106 --> 01:02:58,300
A士
1064
01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:00,602
该你了
1065
01:03:04,147 --> 01:03:05,205
谢谢校长
1066
01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:08,940
拿什么? A
1067
01:03:09,085 --> 01:03:09,574
好厉害
1068
01:03:09,719 --> 01:03:11,084
黄小龟
1069
01:03:11,621 --> 01:03:12,952
别担心啊
1070
01:03:14,390 --> 01:03:15,823
校长
1071
01:03:18,828 --> 01:03:20,591
怎么样?
1072
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,805
收到
1073
01:03:42,118 --> 01:03:44,552
我决定收回要求你退学的建议
1074
01:03:45,188 --> 01:03:46,348
谢谢校长
1075
01:03:46,856 --> 01:03:48,289
这下好了 恭喜你了
1076
01:03:49,792 --> 01:03:54,525
这次不用换地盘了
搞不好还可以混个堂主呢
1077
01:03:55,231 --> 01:03:56,425
不过也要过了今天啊
1078
01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:57,531
为什么?
1079
01:03:57,834 --> 01:03:59,426
今天是这个月的最后一天
1080
01:03:59,602 --> 01:04:01,832
如果今天之后再没有学生犯校规
1081
01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:03,130
那就可以正式生效
1082
01:04:03,272 --> 01:04:05,832
我可以保证
这所学校已经没有坏学生了
1083
01:04:06,042 --> 01:04:08,067
现在我们在学校里
怎么走都不会被整了
1084
01:04:08,211 --> 01:04:09,439
是就最好啦
1085
01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:11,078
上课了
1086
01:04:11,347 --> 01:04:12,746
罩子放亮点啊
1087
01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:16,041
候老师,这下你可拉风了
1088
01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:17,785
是有点满足感
1089
01:04:17,987 --> 01:04:19,648
对了,我答应要请你吃饭
1090
01:04:20,189 --> 01:04:22,555
不如今天晚上去你家我烧菜给你吃
1091
01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:23,749
好啊
1092
01:04:26,829 --> 01:04:27,295
什么事啊?
1093
01:04:27,430 --> 01:04:28,590
不好,我们出去吃吧
1094
01:04:28,731 --> 01:04:29,959
干什么?不相信我的手艺啊
1095
01:04:30,233 --> 01:04:31,165
不是
1096
01:04:33,569 --> 01:04:34,797
我要去买汽水,你要不要喝啊?
1097
01:04:34,971 --> 01:04:36,131
好啊
1098
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,572
阿卿,阿卿
1099
01:04:47,016 --> 01:04:49,917
阿卿,阿卿
1100
01:04:51,821 --> 01:04:54,051
惨了,被校长看到就惨了
1101
01:04:54,824 --> 01:04:56,416
校长,我这个提议好部好
1102
01:04:56,592 --> 01:04:57,889
好,候老师呢
1103
01:04:58,027 --> 01:04:59,119
在里面
1104
01:05:00,863 --> 01:05:02,262
这下惨了
1105
01:05:03,766 --> 01:05:06,166
候老师,刚刚林老师有个好主意
1106
01:05:06,569 --> 01:05:07,831
哦,是吗
1107
01:05:07,970 --> 01:05:10,598
我们开个Party
庆祝所有的同学有如此的进步
1108
01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:13,334
你说好不好啊?
好啊,很好啊
1109
01:05:13,943 --> 01:05:15,808
林老师,就由你负责这个party
1110
01:05:16,012 --> 01:05:17,104
好呀,拜拜
1111
01:05:17,413 --> 01:05:19,347
拜拜
1112
01:05:30,059 --> 01:05:31,219
你很喜欢这样晒太阳啊
1113
01:05:31,427 --> 01:05:34,396
是呀,因为我很容易晒黑
1114
01:05:35,531 --> 01:05:37,226
这班学生现在变得乖了
1115
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:38,867
现在到操场都不用带伞
1116
01:05:39,001 --> 01:05:40,798
校长领导有方嘛
1117
01:05:44,006 --> 01:05:47,271
这样子太阳太刺眼了
1118
01:05:50,813 --> 01:05:53,213
要晒这样才能够晒得黑嘛
1119
01:05:56,485 --> 01:05:59,249
校长,我说过我很容易晒黑的
1120
01:06:00,489 --> 01:06:03,014
这边的夕阳相当猛烈
1121
01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:06,686
来来来,尝尝我做的蕃茄鱼
1122
01:06:06,862 --> 01:06:07,658
好呀
1123
01:06:09,865 --> 01:06:12,060
哇,这么多菜了,还煎荷包蛋呀
1124
01:06:12,234 --> 01:06:13,599
荷包蛋好呀
1125
01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:17,068
荷包蛋又有营养
又下饭,味道又好啊
1126
01:06:17,740 --> 01:06:20,436
念旧的人就会喜欢吃荷包蛋的
1127
01:06:20,743 --> 01:06:21,835
老爸,吃饭啦
1128
01:06:28,217 --> 01:06:30,447
来 不用,我有了
1129
01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:32,851
你吃呀 我不吃鱼
1130
01:06:33,723 --> 01:06:35,190
给你,你吃
1131
01:06:35,391 --> 01:06:38,121
什么呀,没人吃就给我吃啊
1132
01:06:44,867 --> 01:06:46,459
怎么了,噎到了?
1133
01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:47,863
卡到刺了
1134
01:06:48,337 --> 01:06:49,736
我去拿醋
1135
01:06:54,043 --> 01:06:55,442
把嘴巴张大一点呐
1136
01:06:55,811 --> 01:06:58,211
好深呀,我拿不出来
1137
01:06:58,381 --> 01:06:59,279
还是你来吧
1138
01:06:59,548 --> 01:07:00,742
好呀
1139
01:07:03,819 --> 01:07:06,879
怎么样,你没事了吧,好点没有?
1140
01:07:07,590 --> 01:07:09,558
老爸,我下楼吃云吞面了
1141
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:11,785
阿卿呀
1142
01:07:11,994 --> 01:07:12,983
觉得怎么样?
1143
01:07:13,396 --> 01:07:14,192
出来了吧
1144
01:07:14,330 --> 01:07:17,925
难怪这瓶醋没有了
原来被人喝光了
1145
01:07:26,142 --> 01:07:27,336
你有好多事情瞒着我
1146
01:07:27,476 --> 01:07:28,408
我?
1147
01:07:28,544 --> 01:07:30,136
你和屋子里面的女学生有感情
1148
01:07:30,679 --> 01:07:32,169
没有啊 你不用否认
1149
01:07:32,314 --> 01:07:34,578
这个世界上只有女人最了解女人
1150
01:07:34,750 --> 01:07:36,411
我发觉到,你有点喜欢我
1151
01:07:36,552 --> 01:07:38,144
什么?是吗? 你不用否认
1152
01:07:38,354 --> 01:07:40,345
只有女人最了解男人
1153
01:07:41,190 --> 01:07:44,125
听你们这么说
你们女人不是什么都知道
1154
01:07:44,794 --> 01:07:47,285
你不用否认,我知道你是这么想的
1155
01:07:47,663 --> 01:07:49,563
对,我承认我是有点喜欢你
1156
01:07:50,399 --> 01:07:53,664
对了,我发觉你不是真正的老师
1157
01:07:53,936 --> 01:07:55,301
她也不是真正的学生
1158
01:07:56,105 --> 01:07:57,595
其实我不应该告诉你
1159
01:07:58,307 --> 01:08:00,935
不过我觉得你这个人可以信赖
1160
01:08:01,343 --> 01:08:04,244
我本来是个警察,不过现在不是了
1161
01:08:04,847 --> 01:08:06,872
希望你能帮我保守这个秘密
1162
01:08:07,383 --> 01:08:09,715
拜拜 拜拜
1163
01:08:09,885 --> 01:08:11,250
喂…
1164
01:08:13,222 --> 01:08:16,191
有时候事情要作出先择的
1165
01:08:16,358 --> 01:08:17,416
我知道
1166
01:08:38,013 --> 01:08:41,449
梦想梦想,你真是所有男人的梦想
1167
01:08:44,220 --> 01:08:47,485
但是,我是个吃惯荷包蛋的人
1168
01:08:51,026 --> 01:08:52,687
看起来还是她比较顺眼
1169
01:08:54,330 --> 01:08:55,194
我梦游而已梦遊而已
1170
01:08:55,331 --> 01:08:56,821
我什么都没看见,什么都没看见
1171
01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,262
什么事啊?
1172
01:09:00,636 --> 01:09:02,695
现在没事了,没事了…
1173
01:09:02,905 --> 01:09:04,338
没事了
1174
01:09:14,984 --> 01:09:15,951
谢谢啊
1175
01:09:25,628 --> 01:09:29,587
校长,听说以前学校
开party不准跳慢舞
1176
01:09:29,798 --> 01:09:31,095
以前的学生坏嘛
1177
01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:33,734
今晚解禁,大家都可以跳慢四步
1178
01:09:34,136 --> 01:09:37,230
校长英明神武,真是该他当龙头啊
1179
01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:39,873
下一届有谁够种不先你当龙头
1180
01:09:40,009 --> 01:09:41,203
我就劈死他
1181
01:09:41,443 --> 01:09:44,276
我也想跟林老师跳舞的嘛
1182
01:09:46,415 --> 01:09:47,905
死老淫虫
1183
01:09:53,255 --> 01:09:54,483
好漂亮啊
1184
01:09:54,657 --> 01:09:57,148
这个学生完全不一样啊,来来来
1185
01:09:57,393 --> 01:09:59,020
禾旱盖珍珠啊
1186
01:10:00,162 --> 01:10:01,629
这个你没份啊
1187
01:10:04,500 --> 01:10:05,990
标准四眼淫虫
1188
01:10:08,537 --> 01:10:10,869
你们…慢慢聊啦
1189
01:10:15,244 --> 01:10:16,541
你还在气我呀?
1190
01:10:21,016 --> 01:10:23,416
这次任务真是失败,没找到小狗
1191
01:10:23,819 --> 01:10:26,379
不过,我发觉原来我很适合教书啊
1192
01:10:26,855 --> 01:10:28,789
找不到也没什么关系啊
1193
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:30,753
我打算结婚了
1194
01:10:32,328 --> 01:10:33,693
跟谁结婚啊?
1195
01:10:34,797 --> 01:10:36,424
跟我?
1196
01:10:36,599 --> 01:10:38,260
不是,跟阿差
1197
01:10:39,868 --> 01:10:40,926
阿差?
1198
01:10:41,170 --> 01:10:44,537
各位同学,静一静,请你们走过来
1199
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:49,804
我们先来玩一个遊戏
叫做捉恐怖份子
1200
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:53,844
老兄,有什么事啊?
1201
01:11:27,816 --> 01:11:31,149
Tell me why
1202
01:11:31,854 --> 01:11:34,789
美丽的眼睛为什么
1203
01:11:34,923 --> 01:11:37,619
闪烁摇摆
1204
01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:42,561
一颗心安静不下来
1205
01:11:42,731 --> 01:11:45,097
OH Boby,为什么
1206
01:11:45,501 --> 01:11:48,664
Tell me why
1207
01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:53,504
犹豫的嘴唇荡着笑
先生,什么事呀,你们…
1208
01:11:54,910 --> 01:11:56,070
打人?
1209
01:11:56,912 --> 01:11:58,504
有枪呀
1210
01:12:02,584 --> 01:12:07,214
我今天来不是要动粗
只要你们合作
1211
01:12:07,656 --> 01:12:10,090
我是想要找一个叫小狗的男生
1212
01:12:10,659 --> 01:12:13,890
他的屁股上有个红色的胎记
1213
01:12:14,296 --> 01:12:14,921
小狗
1214
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:17,325
谁是这里最高的负责人
1215
01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:18,763
我是这里的校长
1216
01:12:20,669 --> 01:12:22,603
我希望你不要伤害这里的学生
1217
01:12:22,771 --> 01:12:24,705
好,那我就伤害你
1218
01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:37,241
谁是这里第二负责人
1219
01:12:37,653 --> 01:12:39,348
是他,是他
1220
01:12:39,555 --> 01:12:40,852
出来
1221
01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:43,287
去啊 快出去啊
1222
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:51,522
哪一个是小狗,找出来
1223
01:12:51,734 --> 01:12:53,133
我不知道啊
1224
01:12:53,669 --> 01:12:56,331
就算知道,我也不说啊,是不是
1225
01:12:59,742 --> 01:13:01,733
你是想让我伤害你的学生?
1226
01:13:01,877 --> 01:13:03,242
不是啊
1227
01:13:03,579 --> 01:13:04,705
干吗打我?
1228
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:06,279
原来是你
1229
01:13:07,416 --> 01:13:09,179
他是个警察
1230
01:13:09,985 --> 01:13:12,010
我们也是
1231
01:13:15,524 --> 01:13:17,754
有警察就放心了
1232
01:13:21,930 --> 01:13:23,955
洋酒?
1233
01:13:28,904 --> 01:13:29,962
铁肚皮?
1234
01:13:30,105 --> 01:13:31,436
铁布衫
1235
01:13:32,207 --> 01:13:33,333
你不要乱来啊
1236
01:13:38,013 --> 01:13:39,037
是你
1237
01:13:39,214 --> 01:13:42,911
我跟你都是一样的
只不过我是对方的卧底
1238
01:13:43,152 --> 01:13:44,312
做得好
1239
01:13:45,754 --> 01:13:47,119
林老师
1240
01:13:47,623 --> 01:13:50,217
先干掉他们,以免夜长梦多
1241
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:52,656
铁大哥,这个就交给我了
1242
01:13:52,995 --> 01:13:55,520
我应承帮你调查,没应承帮你杀人
1243
01:13:55,664 --> 01:13:56,858
我自己来
1244
01:14:12,147 --> 01:14:15,014
走啊,快点走啊,走啊
1245
01:14:15,684 --> 01:14:17,049
熄掉了,现在怎么样啊?
1246
01:14:17,186 --> 01:14:18,278
上去看看
1247
01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:24,057
怎么样?
1248
01:14:24,793 --> 01:14:25,919
线全被切断了
1249
01:14:26,695 --> 01:14:28,458
快点走,我们要出去报警
1250
01:14:28,597 --> 01:14:30,326
不行,我不能走啊
1251
01:14:32,734 --> 01:14:34,326
你进去会死的
1252
01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:37,162
我救了你其实很危险的
1253
01:14:38,874 --> 01:14:40,432
我知道你背叛他们都是为了我
1254
01:14:40,609 --> 01:14:41,735
我实在非常多谢你
1255
01:14:41,910 --> 01:14:44,879
但是这个时候,我不可以
丢下我未婚妻一个人走掉
1256
01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:48,283
希望你明白我是一个喜欢
吃荷包蛋的男人
1257
01:15:28,056 --> 01:15:29,318
小狗在哪里?
1258
01:15:29,858 --> 01:15:31,155
憨居
1259
01:15:56,051 --> 01:15:56,949
A士呀
1260
01:15:57,085 --> 01:15:57,949
候老师
1261
01:15:58,120 --> 01:15:59,052
你们两个怎么样?
1262
01:15:59,187 --> 01:16:00,518
我们没事
1263
01:16:00,656 --> 01:16:01,884
Party的人怎么样?
1264
01:16:10,265 --> 01:16:12,495
那个家伙秀逗啊,你们快走啊
1265
01:16:12,634 --> 01:16:13,623
我们怎么可以扔下你啊
1266
01:16:13,802 --> 01:16:16,600
他是来抓我的
不关你们的事,快走啊
1267
01:16:17,773 --> 01:16:20,264
关我的事,我就是小狗
1268
01:16:21,209 --> 01:16:22,733
难怪上次你要我露屁股给人家看了
1269
01:16:22,911 --> 01:16:23,969
对不起
1270
01:16:24,613 --> 01:16:26,012
我不想再见到我爸爸
1271
01:16:26,648 --> 01:16:27,979
所以想隐藏自己
1272
01:16:28,116 --> 01:16:29,413
但是我不知道会搞成这样
1273
01:16:29,718 --> 01:16:30,878
你以后不用再隐藏了
1274
01:16:31,787 --> 01:16:33,687
你爸爸已经被他们杀了
1275
01:16:40,596 --> 01:16:42,826
你快走,我知道怎么对付他
1276
01:16:43,098 --> 01:16:44,565
小龟,你帮我
1277
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:45,989
怎么帮啊?
1278
01:16:46,201 --> 01:16:47,099
我引他到化学室
1279
01:16:47,636 --> 01:16:48,796
现在是八点五十三分
1280
01:16:49,004 --> 01:16:50,801
七分钟之后,就是九点正
1281
01:16:50,973 --> 01:16:53,498
你就按下课铃,OK?记住了
1282
01:16:54,409 --> 01:16:57,469
你想放煤气,下课铃一响
擦出火花,炸死他
1283
01:16:57,813 --> 01:16:59,144
候老师,那你怎么办?
1284
01:16:59,915 --> 01:17:02,008
我生命线这么长,没事的,快走
1285
01:17:02,184 --> 01:17:03,845
那我们对表 好
1286
01:17:04,553 --> 01:17:05,577
我也去帮忙
1287
01:17:06,421 --> 01:17:08,082
你帮候老师呀 好
1288
01:17:09,157 --> 01:17:13,355
傻瓜,我在这里,快点来啊
1289
01:17:14,229 --> 01:17:14,854
没事的
1290
01:17:15,097 --> 01:17:17,292
没事?这么大个洞还在冒烟呢
1291
01:17:19,401 --> 01:17:21,266
快走,快走啊
1292
01:17:47,362 --> 01:17:49,023
你不要开枪啊
1293
01:17:50,232 --> 01:17:51,631
看你往哪里跑?
1294
01:17:58,073 --> 01:18:01,270
一阳指,我笃笃笃…
1295
01:18:03,178 --> 01:18:04,611
你不要掰我手指,这么阴险啊
1296
01:18:19,428 --> 01:18:21,919
你们两个不要压着我
我不爱这套的
1297
01:18:22,864 --> 01:18:26,163
上一次我们没有玩完
这一次我们再玩过
1298
01:18:26,334 --> 01:18:28,359
不过这一次一玩就玩五颗
1299
01:18:40,315 --> 01:18:42,078
这么浓的煤气味他都没有闻到
1300
01:18:50,759 --> 01:18:53,523
没办法,还是你
1301
01:18:57,833 --> 01:18:58,595
不好意思啊
1302
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,633
不要紧,这次我们玩满六颗
1303
01:19:02,337 --> 01:19:03,361
六颗?
1304
01:19:11,413 --> 01:19:15,008
惨啦,还有十几秒就要爆炸了
1305
01:19:26,728 --> 01:19:28,889
糟了…来不及了
1306
01:19:37,506 --> 01:19:41,533
化学室,化学室,化…
1307
01:19:41,710 --> 01:19:44,076
惨啦,哪间是化学室
哪间是数学室呀
1308
01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:48,048
还有两秒,拼一拼
1309
01:19:49,951 --> 01:19:51,179
不是这间啊
1310
01:19:56,925 --> 01:19:58,392
有话慢慢说啊
1311
01:20:02,597 --> 01:20:04,121
这个
1312
01:20:13,441 --> 01:20:15,739
我成功了,我成功了
1313
01:20:16,711 --> 01:20:20,408
傻波,你这个王八蛋
俄罗斯轮盘是嘛
1314
01:20:20,549 --> 01:20:23,313
你还不死,你去吃屎啊
1315
01:20:25,453 --> 01:20:27,353
老师,你真的好帅啊
1316
01:20:29,591 --> 01:20:33,049
你以为我想帅呀
你来啊,你这个白痴
1317
01:20:37,599 --> 01:20:39,464
达叔,达叔
1318
01:20:39,935 --> 01:20:42,130
候老师他们呢
好像去了体育馆
1319
01:20:42,337 --> 01:20:43,770
报警
1320
01:20:58,286 --> 01:20:59,651
还有什么功夫?
1321
01:21:03,458 --> 01:21:04,425
他练过铁布衫
1322
01:21:04,759 --> 01:21:06,249
攻他胸口和喉咙
1323
01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:20,574
团结力量大
1324
01:21:21,243 --> 01:21:24,371
美式足球
1325
01:21:33,521 --> 01:21:34,818
我跳不到那么高
1326
01:21:35,523 --> 01:21:37,081
我现在该怎么办啊?
1327
01:21:37,292 --> 01:21:40,022
怎么办?猴子偷桃,攻他下阴
1328
01:21:40,228 --> 01:21:44,130
快点呀,快点啊
1329
01:21:53,975 --> 01:21:55,670
为什么没事啊?
1330
01:21:57,312 --> 01:21:59,644
不是真的吧?
1331
01:22:05,887 --> 01:22:06,854
杀死我爸
1332
01:22:13,361 --> 01:22:15,056
原来你就是小狗
1333
01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:20,158
惨了
1334
01:22:20,902 --> 01:22:23,462
不要打他…放开他…
1335
01:22:23,972 --> 01:22:24,836
开玩笑的
1336
01:22:25,006 --> 01:22:26,234
去你奶奶的
1337
01:22:30,478 --> 01:22:32,002
我跟你拼了
1338
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:39,284
一阳指果然比剪刀脚厉害
1339
01:22:58,139 --> 01:23:00,004
小乌龟 有
1340
01:23:21,563 --> 01:23:24,555
不是一定要你说
你说的话都会作为呈堂证供
1341
01:23:24,733 --> 01:23:25,461
知不知道啊
1342
01:23:25,633 --> 01:23:26,895
你没事吧? 没事
1343
01:23:27,068 --> 01:23:28,035
你看我像有事吗?
1344
01:23:28,737 --> 01:23:29,704
看什么看?
1345
01:23:30,672 --> 01:23:33,971
你们快点过来帮帮忙啊,好重啊
1346
01:23:35,243 --> 01:23:37,677
A士,不要整天只顾住玩滑板呀
1347
01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:42,010
你们大家要专心读书啊
我会想念你们的
1348
01:23:47,155 --> 01:23:49,020
老师,再见
1349
01:23:49,491 --> 01:23:53,257
候老师,有句我想跟你说
但是又不知道该不该说
1350
01:23:53,561 --> 01:23:54,550
你说啊
1351
01:23:54,896 --> 01:23:56,887
你帅呆了,I love you
1352
01:23:57,065 --> 01:23:58,657
候老师 ,赶时间呀
1353
01:23:58,933 --> 01:24:00,366
好好,来了来了
1354
01:24:01,603 --> 01:24:02,865
我会等你
1355
01:24:03,838 --> 01:24:04,566
局长
1356
01:24:04,739 --> 01:24:06,730
我现在决定,升你当总督察
1357
01:24:06,841 --> 01:24:07,808
你马上复职
1358
01:24:08,543 --> 01:24:09,635
是,谢谢局长
1359
01:24:09,811 --> 01:24:12,245
但是我觉得警察再也不适合我了
1360
01:24:12,514 --> 01:24:13,606
那什么才适合你?
1361
01:24:14,315 --> 01:24:15,646
他们罗
1362
01:24:16,051 --> 01:24:18,019
局长,我想继续去当老师
1363
01:24:18,219 --> 01:24:20,744
因为教好这些小鬼,我很有成功感
1364
01:24:22,023 --> 01:24:23,388
对不起,局长
1365
01:24:27,128 --> 01:24:28,288
我回来了
1366
01:24:28,563 --> 01:24:31,794
好棒啊,候老师好棒啊
1367
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:35,198
你的男朋友没出息,不要嫁给他
1368
01:24:35,370 --> 01:24:36,132
饿死你
1369
01:24:36,438 --> 01:24:37,166
开门呀
1370
01:24:37,338 --> 01:24:38,498
是,局长
1371
01:24:39,808 --> 01:24:41,435
局长,等一等
1372
01:24:41,609 --> 01:24:43,770
局长,局长…
1373
01:24:46,448 --> 01:24:49,281
我舅父有件事情很想做
但是一直没有做到
1374
01:24:49,484 --> 01:24:50,451
是什么?
1375
01:24:50,585 --> 01:24:51,483
就是
1376
01:24:52,353 --> 01:24:54,218
看你以后怎么喂奶
95179