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1
00:00:12,692 --> 00:00:13,627
Mm.
2
00:00:18,838 --> 00:00:20,809
Gave us a load of free ones
'cause I told them that it's--
3
00:00:20,842 --> 00:00:22,210
-Told them what?
-Mm-mm.
4
00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:27,655
Just... how much
we like condiments. Mm.
5
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:34,669
[clears throat]
6
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,310
-This is nice.
-Hmm.
7
00:00:38,343 --> 00:00:39,680
[worker] Two haddock,
one saveloy!
8
00:00:39,713 --> 00:00:41,817
Oh. Oh, this is good fish.
9
00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:44,522
Mmm.
10
00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:47,094
Mmm.
11
00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:49,599
Batter's good and all.
12
00:00:53,306 --> 00:00:54,877
And the chips.
13
00:00:54,910 --> 00:00:57,783
-Good chips. Good, um--
-Good color.
14
00:00:57,816 --> 00:01:00,120
Thank you. Not too pale.
15
00:01:00,153 --> 00:01:01,557
Look, you all wanted me
to do something,
16
00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,427
so this is something
we're doing, so let's just
17
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:05,699
get this done
and forget about it, okay?
18
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,535
Move on. Great.
19
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,642
But, Mum, your 50th birthday,
though, isn't--
20
00:01:10,675 --> 00:01:13,246
Can you... You don't need
to keep saying it.
21
00:01:13,279 --> 00:01:14,482
-What?
-The fucking number, Luke.
22
00:01:14,516 --> 00:01:16,485
You know what? Fucking 50.
23
00:01:19,191 --> 00:01:21,462
Can you pass me one of
the 5 billion vinegars, please?
24
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:26,473
Thanks very much.
For fuck's sake.
25
00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:29,847
[worker] Uh, two fish pies,
one cod roe!
26
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,151
Would have thought you'd have
a bit of fish today, Luke.
27
00:01:32,184 --> 00:01:33,755
-Special occasion.
-He's a vegetarian.
28
00:01:33,788 --> 00:01:36,226
Mm. Fish, though. I mean...
29
00:01:36,259 --> 00:01:37,929
Fish actually grieve
their dead.
30
00:01:37,962 --> 00:01:40,300
-Do they?
-They release a stress hormone.
31
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,803
Jesus Christ, Luke.
32
00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:45,779
Sorry. Hasan says
it's your 50th, love.
33
00:01:45,812 --> 00:01:46,914
Happy birthday.
34
00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,685
-Well...
-[Hasan] Happy birthday!
35
00:01:48,718 --> 00:01:51,691
The big 5-0! Yay!
36
00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:53,293
Hey, thanks, everyone.
37
00:01:53,326 --> 00:01:55,163
[Hasan]
One steak pie, two cod!
38
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,958
-You gonna try 'em on?
-I'm mid gingernut.
39
00:02:08,991 --> 00:02:12,733
Well, I can't stand looking
at those other things anymore.
40
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,404
They turn my stomach.
41
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:17,475
There's nothing wrong
with these.
42
00:02:17,509 --> 00:02:20,749
They make you look
like you never bathe,
43
00:02:20,782 --> 00:02:23,688
like a hippie or a squirrel.
44
00:02:23,721 --> 00:02:25,959
You can wear your new shoes
to your 80th party, Granddad.
45
00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:27,896
There's not enough time
to break them in.
46
00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:30,266
Brogues are notoriously stiff.
47
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:33,440
No one's ever run
a marathon in Brogues.
48
00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:35,612
We're getting
our photo taken tomorrow.
49
00:02:35,645 --> 00:02:38,684
They've got a photographer
coming in. Professional.
50
00:02:38,717 --> 00:02:42,491
He took one of those photos
of Dodi and Diana on the boat,
51
00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,462
but he mainly does
this sort of thing now.
52
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:45,965
-[doorbell rings]
-I'll get it.
53
00:02:49,371 --> 00:02:50,273
[door opens]
54
00:02:52,311 --> 00:02:53,479
Hello.
55
00:02:54,014 --> 00:02:56,185
Oh. Holly.
I'm here to do Jim's hair.
56
00:02:58,691 --> 00:03:01,429
Am I coming in,
or is he gonna stick his head
57
00:03:01,462 --> 00:03:02,766
around the door,
and I'll do it here?
58
00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:03,734
Oh, sorry.
59
00:03:09,613 --> 00:03:12,886
Uh... Okay. Your vehicle
breaks down in a tunnel.
60
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,656
-Spooky.
-What would do you do first?
61
00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:16,694
A, get out of the car
and stand behind it
62
00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:18,631
to show other drivers
that you're not moving?
63
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,869
Obviously not.
That is... That's mental.
64
00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:22,806
B, switch on your hazards
and call your breakdown company.
65
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:24,408
[horn honks]
66
00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:27,983
-All right, shit.
-Okay. Please pass, Luke.
67
00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:30,287
Please. I just... I don't
wanna be one of those mums
68
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,623
that gives birth
on the floor of a bus.
69
00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:33,861
Don't worry. I will pass.
70
00:03:35,932 --> 00:03:37,301
-Love you.
-Love you, too.
71
00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:38,369
Okay.
72
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:44,015
[exhales deeply]
Thanks for this.
73
00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:46,554
You're welcome, mate. Mate,
do... do you want to drive?
74
00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:49,024
Um, no, I should--I'll keep
revising in the car.
75
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,398
-Right.
-[sighs]
76
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:53,366
Okay.
77
00:03:55,638 --> 00:03:57,542
It's quite a process.
78
00:03:57,575 --> 00:03:59,946
She's gonna blast me ends in
a minute with the men's dryer.
79
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,656
I got a special hair dryer
for the guys.
80
00:04:05,257 --> 00:04:07,361
They got stronger hair,
haven't they, men?
81
00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:08,865
Only need a little breeze
for the ladies.
82
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,502
Knock 'em over, otherwise.
83
00:04:10,535 --> 00:04:12,639
I'm just gonna walk
round the perimeter.
84
00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:15,310
One of the great
English walks, that.
85
00:04:18,349 --> 00:04:19,485
[Ava] Bye, Granny.
86
00:04:21,455 --> 00:04:23,561
-15 and some shrapnel.
-Oh.
87
00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,565
I'm afraid the accumulator
didn't come up, though.
88
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,302
Hey, 15 quid's not bad
at all. Thanks, Holly.
89
00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:31,944
I can't get to the bookies' now,
so Holly goes for me.
90
00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:34,582
Okay. This whole thing
makes more sense now.
91
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:36,787
What?
92
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,658
He's only got, like,
eight hairs.
93
00:04:38,691 --> 00:04:40,427
-Ooh.
-And I'm working my magic
94
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,666
on all eight of them,
thank you very much.
95
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,970
-She can do yours after.
-But only eight?
96
00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:46,507
Yeah, you've got
to pick your favorites.
97
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:47,842
[chuckles]
98
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:52,685
You got great hair.
I could do yours for real.
99
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:54,822
I'm always after people to
practice on for sixth form.
100
00:04:56,693 --> 00:04:58,396
Thank you, Holly.
101
00:04:58,429 --> 00:05:01,570
Holly's helpin' organize
my 80th birthday party.
102
00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:03,975
You two should swap numbers.
103
00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:06,780
Chat sausage rolls
and quiche and whatnot.
104
00:05:06,813 --> 00:05:10,453
Yeah, go on then.
Stick your number in there.
105
00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:14,796
-[sighs] Buckle up, Jim.
-[hair dryer turns on]
106
00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:20,909
And you've come to us
via the...
107
00:05:20,942 --> 00:05:22,712
-[watch beeps]
-...inimitable Darren?
108
00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:25,618
Ah, yeah. There can only be
one Darren, thank God.
109
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:26,954
[both chuckle]
110
00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,626
-[watch beeps]
-And he's your business partner?
111
00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:33,033
-Silent partner?
-I mean, silent's the goal.
112
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,404
Yeah, if I can get him
to shut up for five minutes.
113
00:05:35,437 --> 00:05:37,842
[both chuckle]
114
00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:39,846
-Oh, your coffee.
-Gosh.
115
00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,019
Mm.
116
00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,956
Wow. Thanks.
117
00:05:46,425 --> 00:05:47,728
Thank you. Thanks.
118
00:05:48,664 --> 00:05:50,033
Ooh.
119
00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:51,870
Is that for me, too?
Thanks. Thanks.
120
00:05:53,807 --> 00:05:55,009
It's lovely.
121
00:05:57,548 --> 00:05:58,482
Thanks.
122
00:05:59,451 --> 00:06:00,754
Thanks. Thank you.
123
00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,562
-[watch beeps]
-Please.
124
00:06:07,602 --> 00:06:10,642
So, we're super keen to
throw open the doors here,
125
00:06:10,675 --> 00:06:14,650
get as much wisdom
in the room as possible.
126
00:06:14,683 --> 00:06:15,818
Sorry. You okay?
127
00:06:15,851 --> 00:06:17,187
Yeah. Yeah, no, I was...
128
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,091
I'm just gonna let it
cool down for a bit
129
00:06:19,124 --> 00:06:21,062
'cause it's very, very,
very hot. [chuckles]
130
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:23,701
-What we're excited by...
-[watch beeping]
131
00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:27,842
...is the sheer breadth
of your experience.
132
00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,813
We think that that is something
133
00:06:29,846 --> 00:06:32,985
-we could really feed from here.
-[watch beeps]
134
00:06:33,419 --> 00:06:36,059
Great. Well,
I would love to, um...
135
00:06:36,092 --> 00:06:39,766
well... [stammers] feed you,
I suppose. [chuckles]
136
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:40,969
-[chuckles]
-That's great.
137
00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:42,471
-Mm.
-Yeah. She's great.
138
00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:43,540
-Yeah.
-[watch beeps]
139
00:06:50,588 --> 00:06:52,090
Mmm, that smells complicated.
140
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:54,529
-How was it?
-I got it. They love me.
141
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:56,934
-Oh! Great. Well done.
-[laughs]
142
00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,002
They offered me
the job on the spot.
143
00:06:58,036 --> 00:07:00,541
They didn't even wanna
see the other candidates.
144
00:07:00,574 --> 00:07:02,812
Ah, mate, well,
that calls for a drink.
145
00:07:02,845 --> 00:07:04,649
Uh, Luke has
some good news, too.
146
00:07:04,682 --> 00:07:07,121
-Oh, yeah.
-I, uh, I passed my theory.
147
00:07:07,154 --> 00:07:09,826
Oh, Luke, that's amazing.
You must be so relieved.
148
00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:11,496
-Yeah, I am.
-Oh.
149
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:12,699
Still gotta do
my practical, though.
150
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,235
Oh, you'll be fine.
151
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,838
[Paul] Um, Maya, is apple juice
all right for you?
152
00:07:15,871 --> 00:07:17,174
[Maya] Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
153
00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:17,975
Did you get one of these?
154
00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,015
What am I looking at?
155
00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:23,754
It's a walking holiday, Paul.
Look at them.
156
00:07:23,787 --> 00:07:25,591
They seem very happy.
157
00:07:25,624 --> 00:07:26,960
This is my demographic now,
158
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:29,231
these guys.
Swimming costume off.
159
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:31,904
I'm going on holiday
in a fucking cagoule now, am I?
160
00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:33,641
Look, just chuck it.
161
00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:35,878
It's junk. I get
that stuff all the time.
162
00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,651
-Am I on some sort of register?
-Fuckin' hope not.
163
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,120
Oh, they're gonna try
and sell me a little chair
164
00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:41,690
for the shower next,
aren't they?
165
00:07:41,723 --> 00:07:43,694
Oh, sounds fucking lovely,
to be fair.
166
00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:46,065
-[sighs]
-I'll take them.
167
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,936
-Yeah.
-Ah, shit, just remembered.
168
00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:51,142
I've got to get more booze for
Dad's thing. Drink up. Drink up.
169
00:07:51,175 --> 00:07:52,712
You know he started having
his hair done regularly?
170
00:07:52,745 --> 00:07:54,014
-Mm.
-Can you get a blue rinse
171
00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:55,217
for a bald head?
172
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,087
Holly says no one
has them anymore.
173
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,991
They all get this
demi wave thing because
174
00:07:59,024 --> 00:08:02,030
your hair thins as you age.
You lose, like, 70% volume.
175
00:08:02,063 --> 00:08:03,768
Holly says it's better
just to chop it off
176
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,738
after a certain point.
It's just wisps otherwise.
177
00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:07,942
-Right. Uh--
-Holly's granddad's hairdresser.
178
00:08:07,975 --> 00:08:09,980
Well, not just Granddad's.
She does all of them.
179
00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,217
She's paying her way
through sixth form.
180
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,987
She's full-time now.
Well, four days a week.
181
00:08:15,825 --> 00:08:19,165
Right. A toast... [chuckles]
to Mum and Luke.
182
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,701
-Aw.
-Mum and Luke.
183
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,937
Yes.
184
00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:23,808
Hey, mate,
play your cards right,
185
00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:25,043
you'll be driving her
to work on her first day.
186
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,216
[photographer] Lovely.
187
00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:30,755
Just look over to me
again, Bobby.
188
00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:32,725
How long is this gonna take?
189
00:08:32,758 --> 00:08:36,099
Well, they can't rush it, Jim.
It's a proper portrait.
190
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:39,105
Portrait? Who am I,
Henry the fucking VIII?
191
00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,541
Hello.
192
00:08:40,942 --> 00:08:43,581
I don't know why you won't
put your new shoes on.
193
00:08:43,614 --> 00:08:46,620
Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna
get me shoes in it, are they?
194
00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:49,158
-It'll be from the knees up.
-But what if it isn't?
195
00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:51,095
What if it's, you know,
what's it called?
196
00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:54,201
-Full frontal?
-Full length.
197
00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:56,573
-All right, Holly.
-Hello.
198
00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:59,010
I'm gonna give Leslie
a quick zhuzh.
199
00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:03,119
She doesn't need a zhuzh.
She needs a defibrillator.
200
00:09:03,152 --> 00:09:04,790
-Hmm.
-[photographer] Lovely bow tie.
201
00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:08,196
Be nice for Luke and Ava
to have a proper photo of us.
202
00:09:08,229 --> 00:09:12,772
They've already got one of us
in Mitcham at the carvery.
203
00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:14,776
[scoffs] What,
and you'd want that printed
204
00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:17,147
alongside your obituary,
would you?
205
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:19,753
[gasps] Look, Jimmy's
getting his shoe in it.
206
00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:21,189
Big smile! Excellent.
207
00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:22,826
Oh, I don't know why
you won't put your shoes--
208
00:09:22,859 --> 00:09:24,729
Because they're me
last shoes, aren't they?
209
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,702
I've had these ones seven years,
210
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,304
so the next pair
will be me last.
211
00:09:29,706 --> 00:09:33,312
-They're a dead man's shoes.
-Just a pair of shoes.
212
00:09:33,847 --> 00:09:36,085
It's the pair of shoes
I'm gonna be buried in.
213
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,622
[photographer] Thank you.
How's everything?
214
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:41,697
Well, I'm not burying you
in those old ones.
215
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:46,038
I'd rather you went in barefoot
or in my slippers.
216
00:09:46,573 --> 00:09:50,180
I can't put the new ones on,
Jackie. Not yet.
217
00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:53,821
[photographer] Right.
Let's try a fun one, shall we?
218
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,158
-[laughs] That's brilliant.
-Oh, for crying out loud.
219
00:09:56,191 --> 00:09:57,260
[photographer] Can I have
the next victim, please?
220
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:04,775
[door opens,
indistinct conversations]
221
00:10:06,111 --> 00:10:07,949
Hey. Are...
Are they finished?
222
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,285
Oh, no, they're still queuing.
223
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:11,389
Is Mr. January
doing his nude shots?
224
00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:14,161
[laughs] Yes. It's getting
very steamy in there.
225
00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:16,332
-[chuckles]
-I was gonna get a tea
226
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,637
-if you want one.
-Sure.
227
00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:34,703
Susie's back in town!
Hooray! [laughs]
228
00:10:34,736 --> 00:10:36,439
What was it? A wedding?
Any good?
229
00:10:36,472 --> 00:10:38,844
Oh, six out of 10.
Could do better.
230
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:41,382
Ooh. God, you forget the vicar
might be judging you.
231
00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:43,787
Well, they didn't bring out
those canapés quick enough.
232
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,156
It's like,
I'm not saying long, lads.
233
00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,393
-Get the arancini balls movin'!
-[chuckles]
234
00:10:49,498 --> 00:10:51,737
I only started coming
for a bit of extra cash,
235
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,943
but turns out
I love old people.
236
00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:57,916
They are excellent,
the ones I know, anyway.
237
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:01,022
They're just so good
at chilling. Look at 'em.
238
00:11:01,055 --> 00:11:05,096
They've been there for hours,
just lookin', thinkin',
239
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:06,800
appreciatin' the small things,
you know?
240
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,138
Is it possible that they
can't actually get up?
241
00:11:09,171 --> 00:11:10,942
Maybe we should
check their pulses.
242
00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:13,914
[laughs] Are you disrespecting
Gwen and Michael?
243
00:11:13,947 --> 00:11:15,450
You're lucky Gwen ain't
got her hearing aids in.
244
00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:16,719
[laughs]
245
00:11:18,322 --> 00:11:20,427
That's all I want.
You know, simple stuff.
246
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,899
Nice house.
247
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,735
Nice girlfriend. Nice dog.
248
00:11:28,142 --> 00:11:31,917
I've always wanted a dog,
but it wouldn't be fair on it.
249
00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:33,186
Living in a city?
250
00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:35,089
-No, living with my dad.
-[laughs]
251
00:11:36,425 --> 00:11:41,235
-So, what you do for fun?
-I don't know.
252
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,441
I've never been great
at having fun.
253
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:47,781
-Maybe I'm too serious.
-Uh, bollocks. You're hilarious.
254
00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:50,788
But I mean,
you should have a hobby.
255
00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:53,794
-Like what?
-I don't know. Pick one.
256
00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:55,798
Uh... roller skatin'?
257
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,334
-Roller skatin'?
-Yeah.
258
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,271
I haven't been either, so...
259
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:01,041
we could...
break our legs together?
260
00:12:02,978 --> 00:12:05,784
They're probably done by now,
and I said I... I should go in.
261
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:09,491
Yeah, okay. Well, I'll...
see you at the party, then.
262
00:12:09,525 --> 00:12:10,994
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
263
00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:20,313
Bag. [chuckles]
264
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:26,092
-[bartender] Afternoon, love.
-Hi, can I--
265
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,862
-What can I get you?
-A red wine, please.
266
00:12:27,895 --> 00:12:30,233
[cellphone rings]
267
00:12:30,266 --> 00:12:32,037
[sighs]
268
00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:35,410
Hi, Darren. Yeah. No, yeah,
it went brilliantly, thanks.
269
00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:38,148
Yeah. Oh, did they?
Oh, that's good.
270
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,956
Sorry. What do you mean?
271
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,564
Are you joking me?
272
00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,369
You better be fucking
joking me, Darren.
273
00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:50,373
[inhales and exhales deeply]
274
00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:54,516
I don't even think
I should look, really,
275
00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:56,118
you know, until I've passed.
276
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,889
Well, you're not gonna
jinx yourself by staring
277
00:12:57,922 --> 00:12:59,157
at a Renault Clio
for 10 minutes.
278
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,534
Sort of want to know
who the owner was.
279
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,036
Yeah, you probably don't.
280
00:13:05,069 --> 00:13:06,439
-How we gettin' on?
-Jesus.
281
00:13:06,472 --> 00:13:08,076
Uh, yeah, just looking.
Cheers. Yeah.
282
00:13:08,109 --> 00:13:10,313
Yeah, for you, is it?
Little back and forth to uni?
283
00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:12,885
Just want the safest one,
really.
284
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:14,956
-It's, uh, it's for a baby.
-Don't let a baby drive it,
285
00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:16,092
for God's sake.
They haven't really got
286
00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,962
the hand-eye coordination
for that.
287
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:19,364
-Well, that's exciting stuff.
-Hmm.
288
00:13:19,397 --> 00:13:20,266
Yeah. Congratulations.
289
00:13:22,237 --> 00:13:23,607
So, we're just gonna have
a little, uh, mooch about.
290
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,343
You're gonna wanna
look at boot space.
291
00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:27,080
-Gotcha.
-Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit.
292
00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:28,349
-Right. [chuckles]
-Honestly, whether you're
293
00:13:28,382 --> 00:13:30,053
going out for three hours
or three weeks,
294
00:13:30,086 --> 00:13:31,623
-it's the same amount of stuff.
-Yeah.
295
00:13:31,656 --> 00:13:34,194
-Come on. Let's have a look.
-Why did you...
296
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,604
No, we're not buying this one.
297
00:13:38,637 --> 00:13:40,106
You could fit in there,
you could,
298
00:13:40,139 --> 00:13:41,375
and he's gonna want to,
isn't he, Dad, hey?
299
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:44,181
Get a bit of peace and quiet.
Come on.
300
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:45,884
Let's have a poke around
at her insides, shall we?
301
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:50,460
-I'm gonna fucking kill him!
-Well, I'll be your alibi.
302
00:13:50,493 --> 00:13:52,999
Well, they'll believe me
because privilege.
303
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:56,038
-And he definitely knew before?
-Yeah, they told him 'cause
304
00:13:56,071 --> 00:13:58,577
they've had shit from their HR
guys about ageism or whatever,
305
00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:02,250
so he's wheeled me in
like a rescue hag.
306
00:14:02,283 --> 00:14:05,591
They just needed someone
over my... my age.
307
00:14:05,624 --> 00:14:08,196
-Over 50?
-[groans]
308
00:14:08,229 --> 00:14:09,666
[chuckles] You're gonna have
to say it at some point.
309
00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:11,335
Let's get another
50 bottles of this, then.
310
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,606
-All right, I'm on it.
-Nearly done.
311
00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,380
Did anything grab you
back there?
312
00:14:18,282 --> 00:14:20,286
Quite like the idea
of being locked in a boot.
313
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,257
[chuckles] No, me, too.
314
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:24,494
A cross between a spa
and a kidnapping.
315
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,100
-You're driving.
-What?
316
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:27,968
-Ta.
-No...
317
00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:39,525
[sighs]
318
00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:45,170
-You all right?
-Yeah. Just, um... sometimes
319
00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,107
feel like my elbows get
in the way. Where... Where...
320
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:49,011
-Where do you put yours?
-Where do I put them?
321
00:14:49,044 --> 00:14:50,413
-Yeah.
-In the glove compartment.
322
00:14:50,446 --> 00:14:52,652
That way I know where
they are. Oh, right.
323
00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:54,989
He's... He's letting you out,
so do you want to go right here?
324
00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:55,957
-Yeah.
-Great.
325
00:14:57,427 --> 00:14:58,696
[Paul] Good, good, good.
Thanks, mate.
326
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,368
Lovely.
327
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:04,576
Very good. Very good, mate.
328
00:15:04,609 --> 00:15:05,944
Just pick up your speed
a little bit.
329
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:08,149
Uh, this is a really fast road.
330
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:10,153
It's not really fast.
It's a... It's a 30,
331
00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:12,390
so just... yeah, put...
put your foot down, mate.
332
00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:14,127
Dad, I can't. I need...
I need to stop.
333
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,131
Luke, Luke, just calm down. Keep
going straight along this road.
334
00:15:16,164 --> 00:15:18,069
-Shit. I can't. Dad, I can't.
-No, you don't... Just...
335
00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:20,006
-I... I need to pull over.
-Luke, you don't have
336
00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:22,010
-to pull over, darling.
-Listen to what I'm telling you.
337
00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:23,412
Dad, I can't do it!
338
00:15:23,445 --> 00:15:26,485
Luke, calm the fuck down
just for a second, mate.
339
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:28,022
-There's no need to pull over.
-I'm not doing that.
340
00:15:28,055 --> 00:15:29,525
Luke, carry on now.
Don't fucking stop.
341
00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:32,998
[horn honks in distance]
342
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,008
-[car door closes]
-[exhales deeply]
343
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:45,389
-You all right?
-[sighs] Can't do it, Dad.
344
00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:47,695
Well, it would help if
you sat in the actual car.
345
00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:49,498
No, I mean,
I can't do any of it.
346
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,368
I'm not... I'm not ready.
347
00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,572
Well, you're gonna have
to be, aren't you, Luke?
348
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:54,241
Because it's happening, son,
349
00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,580
and it's happening
pretty fucking soon.
350
00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:59,586
So I just... I learn to drive,
and then I get a car,
351
00:15:59,619 --> 00:16:02,156
and then...
I'm just a dad then, am I?
352
00:16:02,423 --> 00:16:03,560
Basically, yes.
353
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,668
It's scary. I know.
I'm still scared.
354
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,070
That bit never goes.
355
00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:13,780
-All right, what should I say?
-Short and sweet.
356
00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,584
Just, "Fuck off."
357
00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:18,222
-Yeah.
-Subject heading. nothing else.
358
00:16:18,255 --> 00:16:21,061
Perfect. That'll just
really freak 'em out.
359
00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,399
Your skills are wasted on Jesus.
360
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:25,604
"Fuck off."
361
00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:27,574
-Send.
-[cellphone clatters]
362
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:33,452
You don't have to feel ready
for it, 'cause no one does.
363
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:36,425
You just... uh...
You just do it.
364
00:16:36,458 --> 00:16:38,664
You get up in the morning,
365
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,135
and you... you just do it
best you can.
366
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,038
And some days it will be...
367
00:16:43,907 --> 00:16:46,546
Uh... well, it'll be
fucking horrific...
368
00:16:46,579 --> 00:16:48,416
[laughs]
to be honest with you.
369
00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:51,556
You'll wanna put your head
through a wall, but...
370
00:16:51,589 --> 00:16:54,361
much of the time...
371
00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:56,365
it'll feel magical, mate.
372
00:16:56,398 --> 00:16:59,137
Like you're gonna meet
this little person,
373
00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,576
and you are going
to lose your mind
374
00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:03,478
in the most brilliant way.
375
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,651
And listen, don't forget, mate,
376
00:17:05,684 --> 00:17:08,724
me and Mum will be with you
every step of the way.
377
00:17:08,757 --> 00:17:10,660
We can still be the grownups
when you need us to be. Okay?
378
00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:16,371
[cellphone chimes]
379
00:17:19,612 --> 00:17:21,115
Now, come on.
380
00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,652
Mum said she's had
three bottles of wine
381
00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:24,087
and not enough crisps.
382
00:17:25,423 --> 00:17:26,860
[whimsical music playing
over computer]
383
00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:28,262
-Mm, this bit. Wait, hang on.
-[cat meows on video]
384
00:17:29,765 --> 00:17:31,769
[laughs] Yeah, this is it.
385
00:17:31,970 --> 00:17:33,573
[cellphone buttons clicking]
386
00:17:33,606 --> 00:17:35,878
[whimsical music,
meowing continues on video]
387
00:17:35,911 --> 00:17:38,516
-Who are you messaging?
-No one.
388
00:17:39,852 --> 00:17:41,690
You're... You're smiling
at your phone.
389
00:17:41,723 --> 00:17:43,894
It's just for Granddad's thing.
390
00:17:43,927 --> 00:17:45,162
Someone from
the sheltered housing.
391
00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:51,141
She's called Holly.
She's the hairdresser there.
392
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:55,216
-She's very funny.
-[laughs] Oh, my God.
393
00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:57,822
-What?
-You like her.
394
00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,458
What? I don't... No! Stop it.
395
00:17:59,491 --> 00:18:01,629
-Ava!
-It's really nothing, Grace.
396
00:18:01,662 --> 00:18:02,798
Don't make it weird.
397
00:18:04,935 --> 00:18:08,844
[cellphone buttons
resume clicking]
398
00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:09,812
[messaging bloops]
399
00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:14,454
I mean, you are literally
400
00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:16,492
holding your phone
to your heart.
401
00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:17,828
-[cellphone clatters]
-[chuckles]
402
00:18:26,411 --> 00:18:28,750
-Hi, darling.
-Hi!
403
00:18:28,783 --> 00:18:31,455
-Nice time?
-Ah, so nice.
404
00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:32,591
How's Susie?
405
00:18:32,624 --> 00:18:34,360
-So nice!
-Good.
406
00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:36,599
So nice.
407
00:18:36,632 --> 00:18:38,469
[seat belt clunking]
408
00:18:38,503 --> 00:18:39,872
[Ally grunts]
409
00:18:39,905 --> 00:18:41,375
You all right?
410
00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:43,680
-Fine.
-[seat belt clacking]
411
00:18:43,713 --> 00:18:46,585
-I'm just gonna hold it.
-No, don't hold it. Just...
412
00:18:47,286 --> 00:18:50,894
Ooh! You coming in
for a little kissy?
413
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,399
No, 'cause you're 40% proof,
aren't you, babe?
414
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,969
Right. Can I just get
under your ass? Thank you.
415
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:57,608
Oh, don't go in it. Ahh!
416
00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:59,745
-[laughs]
-[sighs and chuckles]
417
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:02,718
-Okay.
-[seat belt clicks]
418
00:19:03,386 --> 00:19:06,760
-[sighs] I quit that job.
-Excuse me?
419
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,530
Yeah, I'm not doing that,
420
00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:10,768
looking at me like
I'm fucking 90,
421
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:11,770
and I don't want to
work there, anyway.
422
00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:14,909
They've got weird space coffee.
423
00:19:14,942 --> 00:19:18,449
It's very hot in here. Where's
the wind-y window thingy?
424
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:20,687
There isn't a windy--
When did you quit this job?
425
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,858
Just now. I wrote
a really good email.
426
00:19:22,891 --> 00:19:25,630
Susie edited-it-it... it.
427
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,371
-Susie edited it.
-Susie did?
428
00:19:29,404 --> 00:19:30,541
-Yeah.
-Great.
429
00:19:30,574 --> 00:19:32,410
Two piss-heads
are better than one.
430
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,916
-Oh, my God! Luke is driving!
-Yeah, uh...
431
00:19:34,949 --> 00:19:36,953
Yep. Don't put him off.
He's doing really well.
432
00:19:36,986 --> 00:19:39,324
-Can you slow it down a second?
-Yeah, please.
433
00:19:39,357 --> 00:19:41,696
[moans] I feel a bit sick.
434
00:19:41,729 --> 00:19:44,267
[laughs]
435
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,373
One, two, three,
four, five, six.
436
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,579
I love toast.
437
00:19:49,612 --> 00:19:51,682
Give me some toast.
I love toast.
438
00:19:57,895 --> 00:19:59,297
I haven't got time
to wait for that.
439
00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:00,299
I'll be dead soon, won't I?
440
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,702
Everything's... Oh.
441
00:20:03,005 --> 00:20:05,476
Yes, Queens!
442
00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:06,946
Hi, Ally.
443
00:20:06,979 --> 00:20:08,015
-[laughs]
-Steady.
444
00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:09,719
[Ally] It's fun.
445
00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,288
Is she okay?
446
00:20:11,321 --> 00:20:13,960
Yeah. She's just
feeling a bit 50.
447
00:20:14,895 --> 00:20:17,768
Oh. [moans]
448
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,571
Oh, God.
449
00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:31,595
[chuckles] Fuck.
And there it is.
450
00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:34,868
The reason that we don't
drink like that anymore.
451
00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:38,577
Oh, God. Was I horrific?
452
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,581
Yeah. No. You--You were
very merry, actually,
453
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,317
for someone who's
just told their new boss
454
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,389
to fuck off and done
a little sick out the car.
455
00:20:45,422 --> 00:20:47,694
-Fuck. What is wrong with me?
-Ah, nothin'.
456
00:20:48,362 --> 00:20:51,503
I hate turning 50.
I wanna turn back.
457
00:20:51,536 --> 00:20:54,876
Look, I... I wasn't keen
on 50 when it hit either,
458
00:20:54,909 --> 00:20:57,548
but I know this is a cliché.
459
00:20:57,581 --> 00:20:59,050
It's a lot better
than the alternative.
460
00:20:59,785 --> 00:21:00,987
Mm.
461
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:06,498
Everything's going too fast.
I can't...
462
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,102
-Yeah.
-[sighs]
463
00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:10,741
I sort of feel like
we've had the good bit.
464
00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:12,511
Do you know what I mean? But...
465
00:21:13,245 --> 00:21:15,349
I don't know what
I'm doing anymore.
466
00:21:17,053 --> 00:21:19,024
-I miss Luke.
-Mm-hmm.
467
00:21:19,057 --> 00:21:23,365
I mean, I'm gonna be
a fucking grandma.
468
00:21:23,398 --> 00:21:24,902
That just sounds weird.
469
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:30,078
That's like saying I'm gonna
be a... horse or something.
470
00:21:31,549 --> 00:21:33,452
-Nay.
-[laughs]
471
00:21:33,485 --> 00:21:36,593
[laughs] Fuck off. Ow.
I can't laugh.
472
00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:37,961
Ow. [laughs]
473
00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,938
Right, I'm going to pop out
and pick up some things
474
00:21:42,971 --> 00:21:44,508
for Dad's birthday do, okay?
475
00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:47,815
So, just sleep, Shergar. Sleep.
476
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,518
[chuckles]
477
00:21:49,551 --> 00:21:50,485
Fuck off.
478
00:21:58,001 --> 00:21:59,739
[clicks tongue]
479
00:21:59,772 --> 00:22:00,907
[sighs]
480
00:22:03,445 --> 00:22:06,084
[grunting]
481
00:22:09,057 --> 00:22:10,425
[grunts]
482
00:22:15,704 --> 00:22:16,772
[wheezes]
483
00:22:22,016 --> 00:22:23,620
[exhales deeply]
484
00:22:23,653 --> 00:22:26,559
Pushes all the air out of me,
tying me laces.
485
00:22:27,928 --> 00:22:29,430
[grunts]
486
00:22:33,138 --> 00:22:35,109
You look very handsome.
487
00:22:35,142 --> 00:22:36,411
[exhales deeply]
488
00:22:37,614 --> 00:22:38,549
Shall we?
489
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:44,895
-[Ally] God, it's so quiet.
-[Luke] Mm.
490
00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:47,033
Old people generally are,
I think.
491
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,437
-Luke, do you wanna open it?
-Yes.
492
00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:51,008
-After you.
-Right. Thanks.
493
00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,145
-Surprise!
-[cheering]
494
00:22:53,178 --> 00:22:55,817
-Oh!
-Happy 130th.
495
00:22:56,118 --> 00:22:57,921
Oh, my God.
496
00:22:57,954 --> 00:23:02,497
Wow. Okay. Okay.
497
00:23:02,531 --> 00:23:03,933
Two "okay"s?
That's potentially not okay.
498
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:05,604
This is very brave, Paul.
499
00:23:05,637 --> 00:23:07,507
Yeah, the fucking adrenaline
walking up the street.
500
00:23:08,175 --> 00:23:10,647
-[sighs]
-Uh, look, 80 plus 50. That's...
501
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,083
-130, yeah.
-Yeah.
502
00:23:12,116 --> 00:23:15,022
-That number's not bad, is it?
-Um...
503
00:23:15,055 --> 00:23:16,925
-Ava.
-[Ava] Hello.
504
00:23:17,928 --> 00:23:19,632
Do you hate it?
505
00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:23,138
No, no, I don't hate it.
I love it. It's... It's...
506
00:23:23,171 --> 00:23:25,476
It's brilliant. Thank you.
507
00:23:25,510 --> 00:23:27,648
-Happy birthday, Mum.
-Oh, thanks. [chuckles]
508
00:23:27,681 --> 00:23:30,052
[applause]
509
00:23:30,085 --> 00:23:32,758
-Happy birthday.
-[chuckles]
510
00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:35,162
Happy birthday, Jim.
[laughs]
511
00:23:35,195 --> 00:23:37,033
Happy birthday, Ally.
[chuckles]
512
00:23:37,066 --> 00:23:39,170
They get better
as you get older.
513
00:23:39,203 --> 00:23:41,676
-That's a lie. They get worse.
-[chuckles]
514
00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:43,513
-Happy birthday, darling.
-Oh, thank you.
515
00:23:43,546 --> 00:23:46,552
-Mm.
-Thanks so much. Oh. Hey!
516
00:23:46,585 --> 00:23:49,090
Well done, darling,
putting on a brave face.
517
00:23:49,123 --> 00:23:50,660
[lowered voice]
Put me in one of these places,
518
00:23:50,693 --> 00:23:53,799
-I'll fucking kill you.
-Wow. Good to know. Okay.
519
00:23:55,804 --> 00:23:58,843
[sighs]
520
00:23:58,876 --> 00:24:01,214
Thank you.
[chuckles] I love you.
521
00:24:01,247 --> 00:24:02,917
I love you, too.
522
00:24:04,588 --> 00:24:06,559
-[resident] Whoa!
-[residents gasp]
523
00:24:06,592 --> 00:24:08,228
Yeah. All right. Don't all
pretend like you're not
524
00:24:08,261 --> 00:24:10,833
all at it like rabbits.
I saw it on Panorama.
525
00:24:11,735 --> 00:24:15,744
Hey, um, listen, I'm... I'm so
sorry for quitting that job.
526
00:24:15,777 --> 00:24:18,282
You just... You can't
put a price on pride.
527
00:24:18,315 --> 00:24:21,120
No, I know. But if you
could put a price on it...
528
00:24:21,689 --> 00:24:23,926
[inhales sharply] 15 grand
for two months' work.
529
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:26,999
-Really?
-Yeah.
530
00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:28,035
You can't be angry
with me, though,
531
00:24:28,068 --> 00:24:30,540
'cause it's my party.
532
00:24:30,573 --> 00:24:31,709
-Okay.
-[laughs]
533
00:24:31,742 --> 00:24:33,245
[grunts]
534
00:24:33,278 --> 00:24:35,550
-Uh, I'm gonna pick up tea.
-Okay.
535
00:24:35,583 --> 00:24:36,619
-Or a sherry.
-[Ally laughs]
536
00:24:36,652 --> 00:24:37,821
Hi, Mum.
537
00:24:38,523 --> 00:24:41,294
[exhales deeply]
80. Bloody hell.
538
00:24:41,327 --> 00:24:43,532
It's a lot of years.
539
00:24:43,766 --> 00:24:47,975
[mouth full] It goes by very
fast, Ava. Lightnin' speed.
540
00:24:48,008 --> 00:24:49,310
You can't hang about.
541
00:24:49,343 --> 00:24:52,584
Got to grab life
by the short and curlies,
542
00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:54,287
if I'm still allowed
to say that.
543
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,256
I think you are.
544
00:24:55,289 --> 00:24:58,897
[singer vocalizing]
545
00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:02,537
[vocalizing continues
in distance]
546
00:25:04,608 --> 00:25:07,012
[vocalizing grows louder]
547
00:25:08,315 --> 00:25:09,618
[vocalizing continues
in distance]
548
00:25:19,972 --> 00:25:21,140
Hey.
549
00:25:21,742 --> 00:25:24,180
Hey. Sorry.
Just had to get away
550
00:25:24,213 --> 00:25:26,151
from the intense partying
for a bit.
551
00:25:26,184 --> 00:25:28,021
Holly, would you like
to go on a date with me?
552
00:25:29,725 --> 00:25:31,762
Yeah. I'd...
I'd like that a lot.
553
00:25:32,329 --> 00:25:33,732
Good.
554
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,603
May I kiss you?
555
00:25:37,072 --> 00:25:38,709
You absolutely fucking may.
41172