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[theme song plays]
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♪ One, twoOne, two, three, four ♪
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[vocalizing]
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[chicken clucks]
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-[BILL] How about this?
-[GRAMMA] Keep.
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00:00:32,959 --> 00:00:34,917
-[BILL] Okay. This?
-[GRAMMA] Keep.
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-This?
-Hm. Keep.
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Ma, the point of spring cleaning
is to get rid of stuff.
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You haven't put a single thing
in the trash pile.
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Hey, I put something in the maybe pile.
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I'm a maybe baby.
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Cricket, you are loved and appreciated.
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Face it, Ma, you're a pack rat.
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The garage is full of your old junk.
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Like, look at this. It's clearly trash.
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Fifty years ago it was trash.
Now it's an antique.
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[TILLY] Look what I found.
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I took the liberty of picking the lock.
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I taught you well.
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Ugh, what is this, a dirty rag?
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[GRAMMA] To the untrained eye, maybe.
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But this scarf is actually priceless.
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And just how, exactly,
is a raggedy old piece of scarf priceless?
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Because everything in this here trunk
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is part of the greatest adventure
of my life!
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Can we hear about--?
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It all started in an Egyptian tomb.
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Legend had it that whoeverstole the pharaoh's treasure
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would be rich.
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And I was the only onecrazy enough to do it.
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Or so I thought.
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Of course, getting insidethe pyramid was the easy part.
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The hard part was the never-endingbarrage of booby traps.
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-[snickers] Booby traps.
-Listen up, boy!
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This won't be easy.
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But it's nothing Alice Green can't handle.
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[panting]
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[yells and laughs]
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-Huh?
-[roars]
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[grunts]
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I'm getting that treasure,
and nothing's getting in my way.
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Nothing.
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[laughs]
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You got be worth a fortune.
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Uh-huh. Mm-hm.
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Hm.
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Huh?
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Ah-ha.
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[yelps]
50
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Huh?
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-[groans]
-Need some help?
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Who are you? A thief?
A drifter? A thrifter?
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Just a guy passing through.
Here, let me give you a hand.
54
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No, wait. Don't come closer.
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Really, it's no trouble at all.
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No, you idiot! Don't take another step!
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Do what now?
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-Real smooth.
-[rumbling]
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Great, now this whole place
is coming down.
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[gasps and pants]
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Don't worry. I got you.
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Hey!
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Ah!
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Later, sucker.
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[grunts]
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[GRAMMA] And so, I made it out alive.
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Yeah!
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But I had no treasure.
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Aw.
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[humming]
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And that's how my passport
got permanently revoked.
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-Wow!
-Whoa!
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Wait, what?
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Dang! Young Gramma went hard.
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Yeah. I can't believe you entombed a man.
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No, wait. Hm... yes, I can.
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Hey.
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No, Tilly, your gramma
never entombed anyone.
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None of that story is true.
80
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Wrong. It's all true.
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And that's just the beginning.
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What? You mean there's more?
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I wonder what other relics
this memory chest contains.
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First things first.
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Just got to get this stuffing
out of the way.
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Huh? Aah!
87
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Boy, the only stuffing here
is in your head.
88
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This newspaper is the next piece
of the story.
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-[BOTH] What?
-That's right.
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Now, the next chapter of my story
takes place deep in the jungles of Mexico,
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which I stealthily infiltrated
in order to hunt down
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the legendary...
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[thunder crashes]
- [GRAMMA] Chupacabra!
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A local village was offeringa healthy bounty,
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and I was there to collect.
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I was hot on the beast's trail.
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-The only problem was...
-[twig snaps]
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-Ah!
-...I wasn't alone.
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You again? What are you doing here?
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[laughs] Same as you.
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[gasps and growls]
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If you know what's good for you,
you'll turn around right now.
103
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Oh, I will, after I collect what's mine.
104
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Fella, you better stop
following me or I'll--
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[creature snarls]
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[roaring]
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The chupacabra.
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-It's here.
-Don't get in my way.
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Don't get in my way.
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-[creature snarls]
-[gasps] What was that?
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I said, don't... uh, fly away?
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Shut up. Not you.
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Something's out there.
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-Ah! No, no, no.
-[glass shatters]
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[roars]
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[both scream]
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Chupacabras fear the light.
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Without it, we're as good as dead.
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Can't believe I'm saying this,
but stay close.
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Come on. Come on.
121
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Ugh!
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Hurry, hurry.
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Ha! Got it.
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[roars]
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-[both scream]
-Woah!
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[snarling]
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Here. Take this newspaper.
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You can light it on fire and-- Huh?
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00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,083
Ah, that works too.
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00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:04,208
[grunting]
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I could use some help here.
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Oh, right. Sorry.
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[straining]
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Whew. Nice work.
135
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Say there, we make a pretty good team.
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Huh. Yeah, I guess we do.
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Put her there.
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[GRAMMA] And so, the village was saved.
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And against all odds,
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my greatest rival
became my closest friend.
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- [CRICKET] Yeah! Chupacabra!
- [TILLY] Incredible.
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Goodness, Gramma,
that story was even crazier
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than the last one.
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And also completely false.
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I feel like I'm slurping down
goofy juice over here.
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Ma, you've never even been to Mexico.
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Have too, and I got the proof right here.
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Huh? I don't understand--
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-Oof!
-You don't know me!
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Don't worry, Gramma, we believe you.
151
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Yeah. I'll believe anything
if it's convenient.
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The Earth is flat,
and you can't tell me otherwise.
153
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:52,083
Boy, I keep telling you,
the Earth is round.
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If it were round,
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people would be falling off the sides.
156
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Ugh! We're not having
this conversation again.
157
00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,625
If the Earth were flat,
the oceans would drain.
158
00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:02,500
No, they wouldn't, on account
of the towering walls of ice.
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00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:06,834
Now that I think about it,
Gramma, I do have one question.
160
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Who was that strange man
that kept showing up?
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Ah-ha! Found it.
162
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,667
This right here
is the last piece of the story.
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Ooh, a box in a box.
You old people are crazy.
164
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,667
Can your story at least be true this time?
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As a matter of fact,
this story begins on this very farm.
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The farm? Now that's more like it.
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I'm listening.
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There I was, minding my own business...
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[rooster crowing]
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Ah, what a beautiful day.
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Be a shame if it was obscured
by some sort of big city.
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Good thing that'll never happen.
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[GRAMMA] Suddenly, there was a beep
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coming from my super-coolspy watch that I lost.
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Don't ask about it.
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My partner was in trouble,
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and I was being calledfor the most important mission of my life.
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[BILL] Of course you were.
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Let me guess,
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you had to go to some crazyunderwater city.
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[GRAMMA] Don't be ridiculous.
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I mean, I was there at one point,
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but this story takes placein an enemy laboratory
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00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,083
in the sky.
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[grunts]
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I had to get to my partner, and fast.
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00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,542
[liquid bubbling]
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00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,208
[ROBOT] Intruder alert.
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Prepare yourself to die.
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-[punches landing]
-[Gramma grunting]
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Sorry I took so long.
192
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Technical difficulties. [gasps]
193
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:17,500
[muffled screams]
194
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Oh, biscuits.
195
00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:20,792
Alice, you shouldn't have come.
196
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:21,834
It's a trap.
197
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:23,458
This whole place is rigged to blow.
198
00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:26,125
Then we'd better get a move on. Let's go.
199
00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:29,375
Ah, you could've got yourself killed.
200
00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,000
What were you even doing here?
201
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,834
Oh, just getting this.
202
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,834
[gasps]
203
00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:35,875
Not bad.
204
00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:37,583
But we can admire that later.
205
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,000
Let's get out of here.
206
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:42,542
[bomb beeping rapidly]
207
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Wow! Wait, I'm lost.
208
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,041
Yeah, what was in the box?
209
00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:49,417
Are we missing something?
210
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,458
Oh, now I get it.
211
00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:53,542
This is the story of how you met Dad.
212
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,083
-[both] Grampa?
-Yeah.
213
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,792
Although the facts are all wrong.
214
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:58,458
No way. It was all true.
215
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,125
-Hm?
-Half true.
216
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:01,750
-Hm?
-Fine.
217
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:03,709
Loosely inspired by true events.
218
00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:06,125
Let me tell you how it really happened.
219
00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:09,041
It all started whenyour gramma's car broke down
220
00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:11,291
on the side of a dusty country road.
221
00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:13,000
[grunts]
222
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:14,542
-[groans]
-[vehicle approaches]
223
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,250
[truck door opens and closes]
224
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:17,917
Your grampa stopped and offered to help.
225
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,083
Need some help?
226
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,500
But your gramma had other ideas.
227
00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:22,750
-[truck door closes]
-[engine starts]
228
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,875
-Huh?
-[engine revving]
229
00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:26,291
Later, sucker.
230
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,792
What? Hey!
231
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,458
-[tires squeal]
-[coughs]
232
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:33,417
A few weeks later, they met againon the rainiest day of the summer.
233
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,000
Huh?
234
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,500
That's when Gramma realizedit's nice to accept
235
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,333
somebody's help once in a while.
236
00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:48,667
But that wasn't the last timeyour grampa managed to surprise her.
237
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:50,417
Hm?
238
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,041
[gasps and chuckles]
239
00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:58,375
[grunts and gasps]
240
00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:02,291
He had fixed Gramma's car up so good,it looked brand-new.
241
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,542
[gasps and laughs]
242
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,750
[GRAMPA] Ahem. Uh, Alice?
243
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,333
[BILL] Your Grandpa didn'thave enough money for a ring,
244
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,250
so he offered the mostprecious thing he had.
245
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,417
Your mother's pearls.
246
00:09:15,542 --> 00:09:17,709
Alice, will you marry me?
247
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,250
Oh, my gosh, yes!
248
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:20,917
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
249
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,709
But you're taking my last name.
250
00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:23,959
Okay.
251
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,000
Come here, you.
252
00:09:25,083 --> 00:09:26,458
Whoa!
253
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,709
All right, now slap them on me.
254
00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:32,875
[BILL] And that's the storyof how Gramma and Grampa Green
255
00:09:32,959 --> 00:09:34,041
fell in love.
256
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,166
[sighs]
257
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:39,667
Dad was a great guy, but he
wasn't some swashbuckling hero.
258
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:42,375
Ha. He was to me.
259
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:44,959
Wow, Gramma,
260
00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,041
you never told us
Grampa had such cool stuff.
261
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,792
Oh, how dashing.
262
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:49,917
What else is in here?
263
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,667
[both laugh]
264
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,834
-Oh, dang, check this out.
-Cricket! No!
265
00:09:58,792 --> 00:10:00,208
[sighs]
266
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,583
Phoenix. Where are you, girl?
267
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:09,750
Oh, there you are.
268
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:14,000
My trusty, rusty, kind of crusty
puppy dog old pal.
269
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,375
We're loading up to head to
the farmer's market for the day.
270
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,625
So we're leaving you
in charge to protect our home,
271
00:10:18,709 --> 00:10:19,917
because you're such a good girl.
272
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,750
Yes, you are. Who's a good girl?
273
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,125
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
274
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:24,250
[babbling]
275
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,208
Yes, he's a good boy.
276
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,792
He's a very good boy.
277
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,959
I will protect the good boy's house.
278
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,500
Oh, that's the spot.
279
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:33,417
[BILL] Blah-blah!
280
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,625
Blah, blah, blah, blah?
281
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,041
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
282
00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:37,834
Mm...blah.
283
00:10:37,917 --> 00:10:39,417
Blah, blah, blah.
284
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,208
Ride on, kind humans.
285
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:43,291
Your kingdom is in good hands.
286
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:44,959
Wait, the humans are gone?
287
00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:45,917
The humans are gone?
288
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,166
[ALL] The humans are gone!
289
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,583
-[COW] Oh, no.
-What?
290
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,125
[panicked chatter]
291
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:51,625
Everyone, calm down.
292
00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:55,166
The humans will return.
This has happened before.
293
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,083
I don't remember that.
294
00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,250
That's because you just hatched yesterday.
295
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,041
That's true.
296
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:03,625
Loyal subjects, as your queen,
I will make sure
297
00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:05,583
you all remain safe and sound.
298
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:08,583
With help from my trusted
advisor, Dirtbag.
299
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,625
Present.
300
00:11:09,709 --> 00:11:11,500
I promise we can make it through this.
301
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,542
[ALL] Oh, yeah!
302
00:11:12,625 --> 00:11:14,208
Thank you, Queen Phoenix.
303
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:17,041
Oh! All hail Queen Phoenix.
304
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:18,583
Ha! They're all a bunch of sheep.
305
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,166
Especially the sheep.
306
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,166
Always following that old dog.
307
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,625
It's the same thing
day after day after day.
308
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:27,625
Oh, what I'd give for a change of pace.
309
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,166
Well, cock-a-doodle-doo.
310
00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:34,667
Ah, order is restored.
311
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,458
Yeah, and because of that,
312
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:39,000
I'm going to punch out and take
the rest of the day off.
313
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,208
-[grunts]
-Dirtbag, you are always trying
314
00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:42,959
to wiggle out of your responsibilities.
315
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:45,458
Can I count on you
while the humans are away?
316
00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:48,291
Strange things can happen
in their absence.
317
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,041
[Dirtbag hacking]
318
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,291
Wow, look at the size of that thing.
319
00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:54,625
I'm sorry, were you saying something?
320
00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:56,917
[COGBURN] Attention, fellow farm animals!
321
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,208
Opportunity knocks if you are...
322
00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:01,000
[clucking]
323
00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:03,250
...bold enough to seize it.
324
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,375
Cogburn, what are you talking about?
325
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,291
See for yourself.
326
00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:10,375
-The door?
-[ALL] The door?
327
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,583
Yes. The dumb little boy left it open.
328
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:15,041
And what are we going to do
with the open door?
329
00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:16,625
Shut it.
330
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,125
No, you idiot.
331
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:19,667
We go inside it.
332
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,250
[ALL] Oh.
333
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,000
No. I forbid it.
334
00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:25,583
The humans insist we stay outside.
335
00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:29,542
Easy for you to say.
You get to go inside whenever you want.
336
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,208
[disapproving chatter]
337
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,542
These are the rules
that the humans have made,
338
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:35,750
because they know what's best for us.
339
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,583
[approving chatter]
340
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:40,500
Or maybe they're keeping us
from the good stuff.
341
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,291
Inside the house there's table scraps,
342
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:44,000
cozy pillows, and...
343
00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:44,959
[groans]
344
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:46,500
...pie.
345
00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:49,000
I mean, inside the house
346
00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:51,333
there are comforts
beyond your wildest dreams.
347
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:53,417
[disapproving chatter]
348
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:57,041
Admit it, you've been holding out on us,
oh, fair ruler.
349
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:00,333
Or should I say, old and weak ruler.
350
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:02,709
[ALL] Oh!
351
00:13:02,792 --> 00:13:05,125
Maybe it's time for a new kind of queen.
352
00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:06,458
Maybe it's time...
353
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:08,083
for a king.
354
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,375
But who's going to be king?
355
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:12,208
Me. I'm going to be king.
356
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,291
Setting up my stand.
357
00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:16,083
Doo, doo, doo, doo-- Whoops.
358
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:18,875
Gotcha. Hey, thanks stranger.
359
00:13:18,959 --> 00:13:21,375
I like a man who knows
the value of a good 'mater.
360
00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:22,458
What's your name, friend?
361
00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:25,083
My name? Well, my name is Bill Green.
362
00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:26,166
Pleased to meet you.
363
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,667
Bill Green?
364
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,667
But that's my name.
365
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:33,291
Wow, isn't that weird, Dad?
366
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:35,458
Dad? Earth to Dad!
367
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:36,500
I mean, uh...
368
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,750
Hi, my name's also Bill Green.
369
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,583
Well, what are the odds?
370
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:44,875
So, what do you do for a living, Bill?
371
00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:46,125
Oh, I'm a farmer.
372
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,041
How very nice.
373
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,875
Isn't that nice, son?
374
00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:52,125
Dad, you're hurting me.
375
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,375
I'm across the aisle
if you want to come say hi.
376
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,750
Well, I'd better get back to it.
377
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,125
Goodbye, other Bill Green.
378
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,291
Other Bill Green?
379
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,583
Cogburn, I do not wish to fight you.
380
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:05,250
That's where you and I differ.
381
00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:06,166
[both yell]
382
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,417
I've got him!
383
00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:14,583
[all laugh]
384
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,208
You call this a ruler?
385
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:17,417
[grunts]
386
00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:23,583
Yeah! All hail King Cogburn!
387
00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:27,041
[ALL] All hail King Cogburn.
388
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:31,333
As my first decree,
I say we go inside the house.
389
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:33,333
[excited chatter]
390
00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:34,834
Not on my watch.
391
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,250
[grunting] One sec. Just--
392
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,041
Give me a minute.
393
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,250
Hey, there. I'm Bill Green
394
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:43,291
of Green Family Farms.
395
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,125
I'm the original one. That's me.
396
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,959
Wait. No, ma'am. come back.
397
00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:48,750
Just wanted to clarify.
398
00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:50,125
Papa, what's wrong?
399
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:53,208
Dad met another Bill Green
and it's freaking him out.
400
00:14:53,291 --> 00:14:54,750
It just feels weird. If--
401
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,792
If there's two Bill Greens,
then what makes me special?
402
00:14:57,875 --> 00:14:59,500
Who told you you were special?
403
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:00,959
Not me, that's for sure.
404
00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:03,333
Dad, it's not a big deal.
Names are just names.
405
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:05,208
It's not like you're the same person.
406
00:15:05,291 --> 00:15:07,834
Why don't we go see what makes
the other Bill different?
407
00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:09,750
Yeah, that's not a bad idea.
408
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:11,500
Ma, watch the stand, please.
409
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,125
Hm. Nah.
410
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,667
[COGBURN] My loyal subjects,
411
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:18,875
it is time to claim
what is rightfully ours.
412
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,792
-[POULTRY] Rightfully ours!
-[excited chatter]
413
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:24,291
My subjects, you must cease this madness.
414
00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:27,125
Oh, wow, nice and cozy.
415
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:28,792
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
416
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:30,500
[ALL] Ooh.
417
00:15:30,583 --> 00:15:31,917
[all chattering]
418
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,750
Looking good, looking good.
419
00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:38,542
You are destroying the humans' home.
420
00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:40,458
This is bad animal behavior.
421
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:42,333
[belches] Yeah, maybe.
422
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:44,125
But I like it here.
423
00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:45,959
Me too. It's different.
424
00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:48,959
Yeah, it's fun. Why did you
think we would not like this?
425
00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:50,583
[all, squawking] Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
426
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:52,417
No! Wait. I...
427
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:55,417
Yes! Your time is over, doggy.
428
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,375
[all, chanting] King! King! King!
429
00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:58,959
I deserve to rule.
430
00:15:59,041 --> 00:15:59,959
Let us away.
431
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:02,125
What are we going to do, King Cogburn?
432
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:03,625
To the kitchen, royal subjects.
433
00:16:03,709 --> 00:16:06,208
We're going to bake us a pie. [cackles]
434
00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:08,083
[ALL] King! King! King!
435
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,792
No! Wait, I...
436
00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:11,917
Hey. Silver lining.
437
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,917
I get my day off after all.
438
00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:16,625
Am I right? Hm.
439
00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:18,834
[BILL] Oh, come on.
440
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:20,250
[ALL] Wow.
441
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:25,417
[ROBOT] Would you like to try a zunana?
442
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,583
A zucchini and a banana?
443
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:29,959
Would you like to try an apricorn?
444
00:16:30,041 --> 00:16:31,792
A corn-apricot hybrid?
445
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,625
Who would do such a thing to a vegetable?
446
00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:34,750
What was that, friend?
447
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:38,041
I'm just wondering
how a first-time farmer's market seller
448
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,542
has such a sleek setup?
449
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:43,166
Well, I worked for years in biotech,
made a ton of money.
450
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,875
I mean a ton.
451
00:16:44,959 --> 00:16:46,458
Uh-huh?
452
00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:50,250
But one day I realized
my true passion was farming.
453
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:54,583
So I started my own high-tech farm
using only cutting-edge new techniques.
454
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:57,291
Wow, Dad, this guy's a financial success.
455
00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,166
See? You're nothing like him.
456
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:00,166
Dang it!
457
00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:03,291
[fly buzzing]
458
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,166
You've made your king very happy.
459
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,417
[chomping]
460
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,834
Well, now that you got your pie,
we're all going to go back outside.
461
00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:12,166
[clucks]
462
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:14,792
Back outside?
463
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:18,166
Well, yeah. This place isn't
really made for us, for one.
464
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:19,417
[chomps]
465
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,417
The grass in here tastes terrible.
466
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,834
Yeah, I want fresh air and sunshine.
467
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,000
We miss the coop.
468
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:27,333
And that strange loud box.
469
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:29,333
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
470
00:17:29,417 --> 00:17:32,125
Oh, I hate it so much.
471
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:37,083
You fools. You're too idiotic to
realize that this is paradise.
472
00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,208
We have everything
we could possibly want here.
473
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:42,417
More pie than you could eat
in a whole lifetime.
474
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,875
But I don't care about pie.
475
00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:45,834
[ALL] Me neither.
476
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,208
[COW] We just want to go back
477
00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:49,333
-to where it's comfortable.
-[door shuts]
478
00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:51,542
You're not going anywhere.
479
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:55,959
You're all going to stay in here
and make me pie after pie
480
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,959
until I decide I've had enough.
481
00:17:58,041 --> 00:18:01,542
Day after day,
until I decide that I'm full.
482
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,208
Do you hear me?
483
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,333
[ALL] Yes, Cogburn.
484
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:08,000
Good. Now, get to baking.
485
00:18:08,583 --> 00:18:10,208
[HEN] Almost there.
486
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:12,834
Baking pie is hard, and I do not like it.
487
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,291
I'm so sick of making pie.
488
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:16,458
[grunts]
489
00:18:16,542 --> 00:18:18,333
[sobs]
490
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,709
Mm-mm. Smells like freedom in here.
491
00:18:20,792 --> 00:18:22,208
Or maybe that's cherries.
492
00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:24,458
Dirtbag, please, you got to help us.
493
00:18:24,542 --> 00:18:26,083
We hate Cogburn.
494
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,625
-Hate him.
-Cogburn is very mean.
495
00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,125
Cogburn, mean?
496
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,208
I almost can't handle the shock.
497
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:33,625
Should I go tell Queen Phoenix?
498
00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:35,208
[overlapped chatter]
499
00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,083
Okay. Oh, wait.
500
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,667
Queen Phoenix isn't the queen anymore.
501
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:43,959
I kind of remember a bunch of folks
stripping her of her collar.
502
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,083
Who did that?
503
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,458
-We did that.
-[ALL] Yeah.
504
00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:48,583
Oh.
505
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:52,166
Anyhoo, at least your new life
is as easy as pie.
506
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:53,208
[laughs]
507
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:54,417
I crack myself up.
508
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,208
Dirtbag, if you happen to see Phoenix,
509
00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:58,875
tell her we're sorry.
510
00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:00,500
I'll try to remember that.
511
00:19:00,917 --> 00:19:02,333
Look at Other Bill over there.
512
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,750
He thinks he's the greatest thing
since sliced bread.
513
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:08,083
Well, guess what?
Not everybody likes bread.
514
00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,500
Dad, that's ridiculous.
515
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,083
Everybody likes bread, Papa.
516
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:13,750
So, what if there's
another farmer named Bill Green?
517
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:16,208
It's just that
the other Bill Green is younger,
518
00:19:16,291 --> 00:19:17,542
more handsome, richer.
519
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:19,917
Probably got all his fingers, too.
520
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,375
There's only one thing to do.
521
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:24,750
I must challenge him
for the name of Bill Green.
522
00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:27,166
Uh, really?
523
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,250
[sighs]
524
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,875
[PHOENIX] Dirtbag, perhaps...
525
00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,917
[sighs] ...perhaps I was wrong.
526
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,208
Ah, come on, now. Don't talk like that.
527
00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:36,250
[PHOENIX] I don't deserve to be queen.
528
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,333
Well, what if I told you
529
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,875
the animals were already
starting to regret their choice?
530
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:43,834
[COGBURN] Bow down to the lord of pies!
531
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:46,959
And what if I told you I made
them all feel guilty about it?
532
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,333
Now they realize how wrong they were.
533
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,208
You...did that for me?
534
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,875
Ah, well, I decided I don't need
a day off after all.
535
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,625
Now, who's going to get that rooster?
536
00:19:57,709 --> 00:19:59,917
Me. I'm going to get him.
537
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,166
-Who's going to get him?
-I'm going to get him!
538
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,250
I'm going to get him!
539
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,000
Whoa, there she is.
540
00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:06,583
[barking and growling]
541
00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:08,917
Okay, okay, you're kind of
freaking me out.
542
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:11,542
Listen up, Other Bill Green.
543
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:13,166
Big City ain't big enough for both--
544
00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:15,667
There you are, Bill.
Oh, I'm so glad you're here,
545
00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:17,667
because I've been thinking
about something all day,
546
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:21,208
and I just need to tell you
how inspired I am by you.
547
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,458
Inspired? By me?
548
00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:25,375
I don't understand.
549
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,959
Yeah. You're doing what you love,
550
00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:29,458
and you're surrounded
by a beautiful family.
551
00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:30,792
Beautiful?
552
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,250
I spent years at a job
553
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,875
that left me little time
for anything else,
554
00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:36,667
and, well, I guess I'm embarrassed to say,
555
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:38,542
you got it all, Bill Green.
556
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:45,417
Hey, are you that Bill Green
with all the super-cool super fruits?
557
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:48,000
No, I'm the other Bill Green.
558
00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:50,917
Oh, cool, I'll just take
my money over there then.
559
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,417
Bring me...
560
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,667
Oh, let me think. I know! More pie.
561
00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:56,709
I think you've had enough.
562
00:20:56,792 --> 00:20:59,750
-[ALL] She's back!
-Back for more, eh?
563
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:04,208
As long as my tail still wags,
I will fight for my subjects.
564
00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:06,208
And I'll be by her side.
565
00:21:06,625 --> 00:21:09,959
Well, I suppose the reason you
can't teach old dogs new tricks
566
00:21:10,041 --> 00:21:11,542
is because they're dumb!
567
00:21:11,625 --> 00:21:12,917
[Cogburn yells]
568
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,417
[gasps] What-what?
569
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,834
This is for our just and wise ruler,
570
00:21:16,917 --> 00:21:18,250
Queen Phoenix.
571
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:20,667
[blows landing]
572
00:21:21,917 --> 00:21:24,041
No. No. No, no, no, no--
573
00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:27,291
[ALL] Yay! All hail Queen Phoenix!
574
00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:29,625
Thank you, everyone.
575
00:21:29,709 --> 00:21:33,166
I promise to always have
your best interests at heart.
576
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,166
Now let's go outside.
577
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,333
[all chatter]
578
00:21:37,417 --> 00:21:39,417
The door. It's closed.
579
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,917
How do we open it?
580
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,667
I have an idea that just might work.
581
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,125
[barks]
582
00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:48,792
[all gasping]
583
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:49,792
[ALL] She did it!
584
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,792
Phoenix, I'm home.
585
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:52,834
-[cow lows]
-Huh? Whoa!
586
00:21:52,917 --> 00:21:54,333
[sheep bleat]
587
00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:57,458
Phoenix! Who's a good girl?
She's my good girl.
588
00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:59,208
[BILL] Oh, my gosh!
589
00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:00,792
[clucking weakly]
590
00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:02,166
What happened?
591
00:22:03,166 --> 00:22:06,500
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
592
00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:09,625
♪ Lost a bet and got bitBy a hundred flies ♪
593
00:22:09,709 --> 00:22:12,834
♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪
594
00:22:12,917 --> 00:22:15,625
♪ Hit every branchAnd scraped up both my knees ♪
595
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,458
♪ I got chased by a dog ♪
596
00:22:18,542 --> 00:22:19,917
♪ Licked by a frog ♪
597
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,291
♪ Got a rash on my leg ♪
598
00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:23,041
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
599
00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:26,417
♪ I got splinters at seven and ten ♪
600
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:29,834
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪
41907
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