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1
00:00:00,696 --> 00:00:03,216
[theme music]
2
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:17,017
[lightning crashes]
3
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,238
[birds fluttering]
4
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:25,895
[lightning crashes]
5
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:36,251
[music continues]
6
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,095
[lightning crashes]
7
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:03,060
[instrumental music]
8
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,511
[Clyde]
Well, I can see I.. Oh.
9
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:18,949
Hold still. Hold still.
10
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,855
You are.. Oh!
Ah, ah. Oh!
11
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:23,780
Bang, bang, Mr. Umney.
You better skedaddle.
12
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:26,036
I got a big, bad gun,
and it's smokin'.
13
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,699
Oh, don't shoot.
I'll do anything.
14
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,794
[Arlene]
Oh, just you wait, Mr. Umney.
15
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,613
[Umney]
Boy, you're awfully slippery.
16
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,181
Ah. I like 'em slippery.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
17
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:37,139
You're nothin'
but a high-class gigolo.
18
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,267
Low-class, baby.
19
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:39,659
[laughing]
20
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,966
Oh, gosh, you're fun.
21
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,501
You think so?
22
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,851
Mrs. Sternwood.
Uh, have a drink?
23
00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:56,199
Clyde, you stinker.
24
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:59,160
Mr. Sternwood
was the stinker, remember?
25
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,429
And I got you out of it
clean and square.
26
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,562
Oh, Clyde, I thought
we had something special.
27
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,776
We gave it a go.
28
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,784
Right. Well,
no more daydreaming.
29
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,647
I know you don't love me. You've
made it more than obvious.
30
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,920
So, I am going to end my life.
31
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:17,014
- What is that?
- Drain cleaner.
32
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:20,923
Drain cleaner?
Somehow, I don't think so.
33
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,930
You know, Mrs. Sternwood,
I don't believe
34
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,802
I've ever really seen you
the way I'm seeing you now.
35
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:28,804
- What do you see?
- You're lovely.
36
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,317
Cunning.
37
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:33,591
You are, Mrs. Sternwood,
the last eternal mystery.
38
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:37,285
Scorching, beautiful..
39
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,594
...built for love.
40
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,940
Not the kind of woman
who would ever
41
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,031
clean her own drains.
42
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:50,394
- Aah! Oh, my God!
- Sugar crystals.
43
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:53,134
- Just as I suspected.
- Oh, my God.
44
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,736
[phone ringing]
45
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,613
Clyde Umney,
private investigator.
46
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,569
Oh, I'm a fool.
47
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:03,047
And you're awfully sweet.
48
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:05,879
Trouble at blondie's.
I've gotta go.
49
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:09,058
But-but, Mr. Umney,
I.. Wait, wait, wait.
50
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:12,535
Get some coffee for her sugar,
will you, doll?
51
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,497
[instrumental music]
52
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:23,858
- Worries, Mr. Umney?
- Not my style.
53
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,895
What have you got here, Vernon?
54
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:32,040
Why.. Why, that's Jesus
walkin' on the sea of Galilee.
55
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:36,044
And my wife dressed up
like sweetheart of the rodeo.
56
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,778
- Nice fringes.
- Hm.
57
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,010
Vernon, you've invented
something here.
58
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:47,355
We are standing
in the world's first
59
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:48,884
moving-up-and-down
picture gallery.
60
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,577
Why, it's art
for the modern age.
61
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,965
Efficient, cost-effective..
62
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,187
Look out! He's got a gun!
63
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,927
Oh, God.
64
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,498
[grunting]
65
00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:00,235
[clattering]
66
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,417
[elevator dings]
67
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,373
Oh, my gosh..
Officer, quick.
68
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,331
You're a tough old bird,
aren't ya?
69
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,770
- No worries, Mr. Umney.
- He's right in there.
70
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:11,727
[instrumental music]
71
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:24,224
[indistinct chatter]
72
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,185
That's it. I'm leaving.
73
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,148
- Where do you think you're...
- Don't.
74
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,370
I have to turn you in.
75
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,457
What's your problem, Ardis?
76
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,415
You got popcorn for brains?
77
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:49,333
I saw what you did, Dunninger.
I couldn't help it.
78
00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:51,069
I was on that street corner
waiting for the bus
79
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,990
when you pulled up
and shot three innocent people.
80
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,555
Now, don't go soft. They were
double-dealing dope addicts.
81
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:58,123
- I can't just forget it.
- You can if you're smart.
82
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,780
If you turn yourself in to the
police, they'll go easy on you.
83
00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,515
That's right.
They'll fry me nice and slow.
84
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,566
When my little sister was lost
85
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,092
drowning in sin
86
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:09,345
I just waited, thinking
God will protect her
87
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,399
that she'd come to her senses
88
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:11,834
and it'd be alright.
89
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,180
You know what,
Mr. Dunninger?
90
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,100
God is out to lunch.
91
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,055
Go the police,
and they'll be scraping
92
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,843
your little sister's face off
the pavement and shoveling it
93
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,058
in one of blondie's
homemade mincemeat pies!
94
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,317
Let her go, Dunninger.
95
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:30,374
Bow-wow.
The talented Mr. Umney.
96
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:34,328
[intense music]
97
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:44,777
Clyde, look out!
98
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,736
[gunfire]
99
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:53,565
[gunfire]
100
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,527
[glass shattering]
101
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,363
Stay here!
102
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:03,966
[male #1]
Behind the bar!
103
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,979
[gunfire]
104
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:16,162
[instrumental music]
105
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,378
[groaning]
106
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:28,129
[female #1]
Oh, my!
107
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,961
[whispering]
Clyde?
108
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,362
Clyde?
109
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,232
[distant siren wailing]
110
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,974
- You okay, doll?
- I am now.
111
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,369
Come home with me.
112
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:52,112
I can't. Mother's waiting.
113
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:59,110
Run away to Mexico with me,
just you, me, and the road.
114
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,941
It's not like that, Clyde.
115
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,640
- You know it never is.
- It's different for us.
116
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,158
We're one and the same.
117
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,171
We belong together and someday
118
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,953
I'll prove that to you.
119
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:11,428
- Come on, folks.
- Stan!
120
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,648
- Yeah, Clyde?
- Do me a favor, will ya?
121
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,257
See that Ms. McGill
gets home.
122
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,607
You betcha.
123
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,054
Stay out of the rain, kid.
124
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,402
[instrumental music]
125
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,227
[indistinct chattering]
126
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,667
[Gloria laughing]
127
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,671
[dog barking]
128
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,767
Shut up, Buster.
Get a job.
129
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,505
[Gloria]
Whoo!
130
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:58,126
Whoo! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
131
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,826
Swell.
132
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:04,313
[instrumental music]
133
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,014
[Gloria]
Go on. One more time.
134
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,137
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
135
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:15,059
Wait. Come here. Come back.
136
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:17,666
There. Oh! Ha-ha-ha!
137
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,758
- George.
- That's my...
138
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:24,587
[Gloria]
Wait, wait. Now. Go!
139
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,638
Ohh! Ha-ha-ha!
140
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:33,214
[Gloria]
Whoa. Okay, one more.
141
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:36,165
[instrumental music]
142
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,420
[music continues]
143
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,514
[whirring]
144
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,208
[indistinct laughing]
145
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:27,695
[dramatic music]
146
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:40,138
[ticking]
147
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,148
[birds chirping]
148
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:57,472
[horn blaring]
149
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:09,428
[birds chirping]
150
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,180
Boys, this is one perfect day.
151
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,485
Somebody should slap a little
"R" inside a circle symbol
152
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,312
right smack
in the middle of this day
153
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,320
a registered Los Angeles morning
154
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,672
a Louis B. Mayer production.
155
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,318
Hmm.
156
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,111
What do you say,
George and Gloria?
157
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,413
Something okey-pokey?
158
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,680
Heh-heh-heh. Feeling
an itchy-wincy hangover?
159
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,034
[cat meows]
160
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,073
Look! Buster, a cat!
161
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,470
Hey, what's the beef?
162
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:42,513
Why don't you yap
when I need you to
163
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:44,028
you ignorant mutt?
164
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,991
[instrumental music]
165
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:54,256
- Vern.
- Mr. Umney.
166
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,011
What happened to Jesus
walkin' on the sea of Galilee?
167
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,266
Where's the sweetheart
of the rodeo? What is this?
168
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:06,749
[Vernon]
Remember, the party is on Friday.
169
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,670
Wait a damn minute.
What party? What's going on?
170
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,756
[coughs]
Retirement.
171
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,105
[scoffs]
To hell you say.
172
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,195
Mr. Landry's coming.
173
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:19,164
Mr. Sam Landry,
owner of this building.
174
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:22,508
If you don't wanna come, fine.
175
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:24,074
You've been acting
crazy as a loon
176
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,771
for the past six months anyhow.
177
00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,134
- What's gotten into you?
- You know what.
178
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,002
It's the big C.
179
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,483
Terminal cancer?
Since yesterday?
180
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,704
I'm retiring to Arizona.
181
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,794
Gonna live with my sister
for as long as I have.
182
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,184
Ha, let's face it
183
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:45,916
I don't expect to wear out
my welcome.
184
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,839
You're supposed to be here,
right here sittin' on your stool
185
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,315
with Jesus and your wife
over your head. Not, not this.
186
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,186
For how long, Mr. Umney?
187
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,837
And since you know everything
188
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,541
you could probably tell me.
189
00:11:56,628 --> 00:12:00,148
How long do I have
to keep driving this damn car?
190
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:02,331
[coughing]
191
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:06,198
Well... forever.
192
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,639
Forever, Vernon.
193
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,339
- You can't retire.
- No?
194
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,297
Oh, the way it looks to me
195
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,905
I really ain't got a choice.
196
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,736
[elevator dings]
197
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,606
This isn't right.
198
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,306
You know it isn't right, Vern.
199
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,475
What's not right,
Mr. Umney?
200
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:29,491
[laughing]
201
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,187
Bye, Mr. Umney.
202
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,496
[instrumental music]
203
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,502
[Vernon laughing]
204
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,424
Get me the file
on the Mavis Weld case
205
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:47,904
will you, doll?
206
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:54,506
[instrumental music]
207
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,955
[Arlene]
"Dear Clyde,
I have had all the groping
208
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,702
and sneering I'm going to take from you.
209
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,483
Life is too short to be pawed
210
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,397
by a washed-up divorce
detective with bad breath.
211
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:10,223
You did have your good points, Clyde
212
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,621
but they are getting
drowned out by the bad ones.
213
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:14,754
Do yourself a favor and grow up.
214
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,097
Yours truly, Arlene Cain.
215
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,447
P.S. I'm going back
to my mother's in Idaho.
216
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:22,237
Do not try to get in touch with me."
217
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,113
She liked it.
218
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,805
She said she liked it.
219
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,419
[Sam]
Bad day, Clyde?
220
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,597
[intense music]
221
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,823
[airplane droning]
222
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:47,834
Samuel D. Landry
at your service.
223
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:50,957
Sam Landry?
224
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,401
You're the..
225
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,444
You're the one
that owns the building.
226
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:56,970
It's all my fault.
227
00:13:57,053 --> 00:14:00,973
I'm sorry, Clyde,
I really am, but, uh..
228
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:04,227
...meeting you has been, well..
229
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,721
...not what I expected.
230
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:09,152
For one thing..
231
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,289
...I like you a lot more
than I thought I would.
232
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:14,942
But I've got business here..
233
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,808
...and there's no going back.
234
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,159
Yeah, y-y-you're not like
any businessman
235
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,509
I have ever seen.
236
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:21,948
You call that a briefcase?
237
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:25,165
It's a computer,
a typewriter with a brain.
238
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,820
Ah. Ha-ha. Okay.
239
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,871
I'm gettin' it now.
240
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,477
You carry a brain around
in your briefcase.
241
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:33,917
You wear shoes that look like
242
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,533
Boris Karloff's
Frankenstein get-up
243
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:39,754
What are you, some sort
of a horror-movie guy?
244
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,355
No. Clyde,
I'm a literary guy.
245
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,536
What's the writing
on your shoes?
246
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,102
- Reebok.
- Reebok?
247
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,979
Sounds like a dish
on a Chinese carryout menu.
248
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,332
Oh, you like that, huh?
249
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,242
I know all your ideas, Clyde.
250
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:56,717
- After all, I'm you.
- Yeah.
251
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,508
I noticed the resemblance.
252
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,513
Not familiar
with the Cologne, though.
253
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,285
It's called Aramis.
254
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,339
It won't be invented
for another 40 years or so
255
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,375
just like my sneakers.
256
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,119
The devil you say.
257
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:09,080
Ah, the devil
might come into it.
258
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,739
Where are you from?
259
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,832
I come from the future, Clyde..
260
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,133
...just like a..
261
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,129
...a pulp-magazine story.
262
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:20,881
Yeah, you come from Sunnyland
Sanitarium, more like it.
263
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,363
But not like
a science-fiction story.
264
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,584
Not exactly.
265
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,323
What was your father's name, Clyde?
266
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:30,024
What has that got to do with the
price of cucumbers on Monday?
267
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:32,193
You don't know, do you?
What about your mother's?
268
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,719
Here's a couple of easy ones
across the plate.
269
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:34,932
Where'd you go to school?
270
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,071
What was the name
of the first girl
271
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,242
you ever went all the way with?
272
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,627
Okay, stop playin' games.
273
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,110
Where'd you grow up?
274
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,200
Carmel?
Dusty bottom, New Mexico?
275
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:45,599
- Cut the crap.
- Do you know? Do you?
276
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,903
Yeah. It was, um..
277
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:53,004
[Samuel]
"San Diego! Born and raised."
278
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,132
San Diego.
That feels right.
279
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:58,215
It feels right
because I wrote it.
280
00:15:58,305 --> 00:15:59,955
What's a Sony?
281
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,176
Some sort of a side dish
you get with a Reebok dinner?
282
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,305
[chuckles]
It's a Japanese
electronics company.
283
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,619
Oh, now you're
kiddin' me, mister.
284
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,005
The Japs can't even
make a windup toy.
285
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,099
Not now.
286
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,968
Tell me, Clyde, when is now?
287
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:17,590
- Do you know the date?
- 1938.
288
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:20,722
W-w-wait, wait a minute.
Uh, 1939.
289
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:24,065
Don't feel badly. You don't
know, because I don't know.
290
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:28,157
I've always kept the timeline
vague in my novels.
291
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:31,858
Going more for a feeling.
Call it Chandler American time.
292
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,687
- Works for my readers.
- Okay.
293
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,466
Tell me what's goin' on here.
294
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,130
[instrumental music]
295
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:41,524
You're beginning to know, aren't you?
296
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,259
Maybe I don't know my
dad's name or my mom's name
297
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,350
or the first girl I went
to bed with because..
298
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,230
...you don't know.
Is that it?
299
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,052
You're getting warm.
300
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,750
You don't just
own this building..
301
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:56,802
...you own everything.
302
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:58,665
Hot, hot, hot.
303
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,576
Hot as a hot potato.
304
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:03,501
You see the picture on the wall
to the left of the door?
305
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,368
Don't do it.
306
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,030
"On the wall to the left of the door
307
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:11,384
a revered leader hangs,
but always slightly askew.
308
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:14,595
That's my way of keeping
him in perspective."
309
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,555
[music continues]
310
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:22,218
You're a writer.
You made me up.
311
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,482
When? Or is that
even the right question?
312
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,345
You first appeared in a mystery
313
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:32,266
called "Requiem for a Lady" in 19... 77.
314
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:35,965
You've grown a lot more complex
and interesting since then.
315
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,795
You were pretty one-dimensional
at the beginning.
316
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,232
Yeah?
What a pisser for me.
317
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,969
Your latest was called
"How Like A Fallen Angel."
318
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:46,801
I started that in 1995.
Took me five years to finish.
319
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:48,941
My life's been interesting, Clyde.
320
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:52,114
Yeah? Well, you screwed up
big-time with this one.
321
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,681
I didn't wanna scare you
any more than I had to.
322
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:58,029
Yeah? Well, you're
scaring me plenty, mister.
323
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,560
If you created me
324
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,253
and you can turn
George Washington
325
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:04,211
into Franklin Delano Roosevelt..
326
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,950
...then you can do anything.
327
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:08,961
[instrumental music]
328
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,534
[keys clacking]
329
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,178
[wind howling]
330
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:20,140
[intense music]
331
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,978
Buster. Here, boy.
332
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,588
[whistling]
333
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,949
George? Gloria?
334
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,953
It's me, Clyde, from next door.
335
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,079
[intense music]
336
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,268
[wind howling]
337
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,056
[intense music]
338
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,590
Here's to you,
George and Gloria.
339
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:19,898
No more parties.
340
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,384
No more trips to Palm Desert.
341
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,335
No more Basie and Ellington
342
00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:27,384
blowin' through
the open window in spring.
343
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,694
No more of that Welsh Corgi bark
344
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,998
that goes through your head
like slivers of glass.
345
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:36,004
[instrumental music]
346
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,312
You did this.
347
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:43,006
You made George kill his wife,
you stinkin' bastard!
348
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:44,574
You're a clever boy, Clyde
349
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,191
but readers love nasty murders
350
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,712
because secretly
they wanna be the killer
351
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,316
shoot the annoying neighbor.
352
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:53,146
Strangle
that whining girlfriend.
353
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,885
Make-believe is a great healer.
354
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,846
Yeah? Well, it didn't heal the Demmicks.
355
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,594
They were good people.
356
00:19:58,675 --> 00:20:01,065
You think you're god,
but you're just a two-bit bully.
357
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,026
Why, I've beaten wise guys
tougher than you
358
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,994
in your own books!
359
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,912
"His revelations hit me like some kind
360
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:14,432
of debilitating drug.
361
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:17,217
All the strength went out of my muscles.
362
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:22,833
My legs felt like a couple of
strands of al dente spaghetti.
363
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:27,307
All I could do was
flop back in my chair
364
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,100
and look at him."
365
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,364
That's not very good,
but rapid composition
366
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:36,019
has never been
one of my strong points.
367
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:38,024
You son of a bitch.
368
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:39,756
Yeah.
369
00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:42,107
I suppose I am.
370
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,717
You know your client,
Mavis Weld?
371
00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:46,288
She was a character in a novel
372
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,985
called the "Little Sister"
by Raymond Chandler.
373
00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:50,603
- Ring a bell?
- No.
374
00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:52,474
No. Of course not.
375
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,725
In your world,
Chandler never even existed.
376
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:55,908
But he's the man
377
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:58,003
for every mystery scribe
since then.
378
00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:01,042
Clyde Umney was the name
of the lawyer in "Playback."
379
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,909
I did it as a... um,
a tribute.
380
00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:06,181
- An hommage.
- Hommage?
381
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,005
Sounds like a fancy word
for stealing, if you ask me.
382
00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:11,843
So what did you come here for?
What's the heist?
383
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:14,102
I came for you, Clyde.
384
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:17,005
- For me?
- Sorry.
385
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,321
I'm afraid you're
gonna have to think of your life
386
00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,627
in a new way from now on, Clyde
387
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,984
as a, um..
388
00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:25,594
...well, as a pair of shoes.
389
00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:27,585
You're stepping out,
and I'm stepping in.
390
00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:30,287
Oh. How fascinating.
391
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:33,546
And, uh, what happens
to Clyde Umney?
392
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:36,158
I want you to see something.
393
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,081
This is my personal diary.
394
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,516
Don't even think about it.
395
00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:43,434
[breathing heavily]
396
00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:45,909
This is stuff I didn't make up.
397
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,520
This is my life..
398
00:21:48,611 --> 00:21:50,531
...the interesting part.
399
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,623
Why did you come for me?
400
00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:55,709
There.
401
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,540
[Clyde]
It's..
402
00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:09,760
It's about a cemetery.
403
00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:21,248
[Sam]
Linda and I went to see
our son's grave every week.
404
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,300
[Clyde]
I'm sorry for you, Landry.
405
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,870
I can't come here anymore.
406
00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:34,309
Why? Are you behind
on writing the book?
407
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:35,526
How can you say that?
408
00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,005
Because the book is all you do.
409
00:22:37,094 --> 00:22:38,364
Yes, I write
410
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:40,664
in order to stay
relatively sane.
411
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:41,800
But coming here is like
412
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:44,412
ripping out stitches
over and over.
413
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:46,763
Well, I'm not gonna leave Danny.
414
00:22:46,843 --> 00:22:48,413
Nobody's leaving him.
415
00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:50,627
It's just so cold in the ground
416
00:22:50,717 --> 00:22:52,717
and he's all alone.
417
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:57,461
How long do we go on
blaming ourselves?
418
00:22:57,550 --> 00:22:59,900
Just give me a minute,
will you, hon'?
419
00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:04,946
[instrumental music]
420
00:23:31,235 --> 00:23:34,145
[children screaming]
421
00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:44,344
Mom! Dad!
Look at me!
422
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,513
- Yeah, they're gonna win.
- Don't you dare.
423
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,820
- Go! Go!
- Oh, yeah!
424
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:56,352
[clamoring]
425
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:01,437
[instrumental music]
426
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:17,541
[splashing]
427
00:24:29,076 --> 00:24:31,336
- You owe me!
- Get outta here.
428
00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:33,296
Danny.
429
00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:35,134
Danny!
430
00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:38,693
[cheering]
431
00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:47,049
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool! Come on!
432
00:24:47,137 --> 00:24:48,787
Sam! Sam! Sam!
433
00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:51,008
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool!
434
00:24:51,098 --> 00:24:52,488
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool!
435
00:24:52,578 --> 00:24:54,318
Somebody help!
436
00:24:56,059 --> 00:24:57,929
[instrumental music]
437
00:24:58,018 --> 00:25:01,458
[Linda]
Dan! Danny! No!
438
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,503
- Get him out!
- Help Danny!
439
00:25:04,285 --> 00:25:05,935
Get him out!
440
00:25:16,819 --> 00:25:18,389
[Linda]
Where are you?
441
00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:22,777
Uh, page 187.
442
00:25:22,869 --> 00:25:26,259
No. Not what freakin'
page you're on.
443
00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:29,620
Where are you? How are you?
444
00:25:29,702 --> 00:25:31,232
'Cause you're not here with me.
445
00:25:31,312 --> 00:25:32,752
I'm working.
446
00:25:32,835 --> 00:25:34,395
You're escaping.
447
00:25:34,489 --> 00:25:36,969
Off in your own
private universe.
448
00:25:37,057 --> 00:25:38,577
Oh, God.
449
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,237
You know what?
That's great for you, Sam.
450
00:25:41,322 --> 00:25:43,372
Why don't you just live
in your fictional world
451
00:25:43,454 --> 00:25:45,114
because that way,
you never have to face the fact
452
00:25:45,195 --> 00:25:47,065
that we've lost our son.
453
00:25:48,721 --> 00:25:50,771
I'm aware of the facts.
454
00:25:54,814 --> 00:25:59,434
God. You know what?
455
00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:03,044
Maybe I'm as nutty as you,
but sometimes..
456
00:26:03,126 --> 00:26:05,426
...sometimes I wish
Clyde Umney were here.
457
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,570
He's definitely younger.
458
00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:11,744
I mean, remember when he saved
Ardis McGill from going crazy
459
00:26:11,831 --> 00:26:14,531
when she lost her little sister
to a life of prostitution
460
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:17,136
and, and how he consoled
Mrs. Norris
461
00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:20,487
and how like a fallen angel,
h-he gave her hope.
462
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,149
He brought her back to life.
463
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:24,232
He screwed her brains out.
464
00:26:26,715 --> 00:26:29,805
You just sit there
staring at that screen.
465
00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:35,506
Linda didn't know it, but..
466
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,944
...she gave me
the idea to come here.
467
00:26:38,031 --> 00:26:39,551
She's given me
a lot of good ideas.
468
00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,341
Not only do you steal
from that guy Ray Chandler
469
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:42,905
you steal from your own wife.
470
00:26:42,992 --> 00:26:44,952
I've heard of low,
but that's bargain basement.
471
00:26:45,038 --> 00:26:47,038
Are you getting this news flash?
472
00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:49,037
Writers are the most shameless
473
00:26:49,129 --> 00:26:51,649
self-centered bastards
in the world.
474
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,790
We lie, we seduce,
we'll steal your soul.
475
00:26:54,874 --> 00:26:56,484
Anything to look good
on the page.
476
00:26:56,571 --> 00:26:58,441
Eh, you won't get
any tea and sympathy from me.
477
00:26:58,529 --> 00:27:00,579
I'm a bestselling author
478
00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:03,802
and I don't have the words
to console my own wife.
479
00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:06,317
You're my alter ego.
480
00:27:06,407 --> 00:27:08,757
You can do what I can't do.
481
00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:11,284
- Go to Linda. Help her.
- You are nuts!
482
00:27:11,368 --> 00:27:13,068
Like the way you saved
Mrs. Sternwood
483
00:27:13,153 --> 00:27:16,163
from swallowing drain cleaner,
if that'd been me..
484
00:27:16,243 --> 00:27:18,593
...I would've had a panic
attack. But you were great.
485
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,810
I'll stay right here
in my own shoes, thanks.
486
00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:24,251
As you say in your world,
I am the man.
487
00:27:24,338 --> 00:27:27,038
What the hell does that mean?
We're all men.
488
00:27:27,123 --> 00:27:29,653
Here. Take a powder.
I got work to do.
489
00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:31,865
Don't get snotty.
I made you.
490
00:27:31,954 --> 00:27:34,654
Oops. Did we make daddy mad?
491
00:27:34,740 --> 00:27:36,790
Is that how you talked
to your little boy?
492
00:27:38,352 --> 00:27:39,532
Damn you.
493
00:27:39,614 --> 00:27:41,364
Ah, what are you gonna do?
494
00:27:41,442 --> 00:27:43,882
Turn me into a barking dog?
495
00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:47,396
"Dunninger's boys knew
they couldn't touch me
496
00:27:47,491 --> 00:27:49,801
without bringing down the heat.
497
00:27:49,885 --> 00:27:53,975
So they took it out on my girl.
498
00:27:54,063 --> 00:27:58,153
Well, not her, exactly
499
00:27:58,241 --> 00:27:59,631
but her little sister."
500
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:00,941
Don't do this, Landry.
501
00:28:01,027 --> 00:28:04,417
"And when Ardis found the poor kid
502
00:28:04,508 --> 00:28:06,688
she looked like she'd been attacked
503
00:28:06,772 --> 00:28:09,252
by a circus of crazed monkeys
504
00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:11,039
with Samurai swords."
505
00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:13,044
Stop it, you stinkin' pervert!
506
00:28:13,126 --> 00:28:16,516
"And they carved her
face into monkey meat."
507
00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:19,517
They killed her, Clyde,
my poor little sister.
508
00:28:19,610 --> 00:28:22,220
- I know.
- Why did she have to suffer so?
509
00:28:22,309 --> 00:28:23,749
Ardis, get the hell out of here.
510
00:28:23,832 --> 00:28:25,622
I told you
it would never be good.
511
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,364
This world of ours
is a heartless maze
512
00:28:27,444 --> 00:28:29,324
of greed and hate,
and there's no way out.
513
00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:32,843
You're wrong. The world is
bright because you're in it.
514
00:28:32,928 --> 00:28:34,228
Why do bullies always win?
515
00:28:34,321 --> 00:28:36,451
"She was already over the edge.
516
00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:39,540
And there was nothing
I could do to stop her."
517
00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:41,280
They don't always win.
You know why?
518
00:28:41,371 --> 00:28:42,761
Because there's love.
519
00:28:42,851 --> 00:28:46,901
"She had taken things
into her own hands."
520
00:28:46,986 --> 00:28:48,766
I hear you, my darling.
521
00:28:48,857 --> 00:28:51,207
Ardis, listen.
522
00:28:51,294 --> 00:28:52,254
No!
523
00:28:52,339 --> 00:28:55,259
[grunting]
524
00:28:55,342 --> 00:28:57,472
I wish you
all the love in the world.
525
00:28:57,561 --> 00:28:59,391
[gunshot]
526
00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:08,362
You didn't have to do that.
527
00:29:08,442 --> 00:29:09,622
It's a new chapter, pal.
528
00:29:09,704 --> 00:29:11,844
You think you're pretty slick
529
00:29:11,924 --> 00:29:13,534
Mr. God almighty.
530
00:29:13,621 --> 00:29:15,801
But you're a bush-league
version of god.
531
00:29:15,884 --> 00:29:18,154
I'm not your puppet.
You can't control me.
532
00:29:18,234 --> 00:29:20,284
"My will ebbing
533
00:29:20,367 --> 00:29:22,237
I pushed on."
534
00:29:22,325 --> 00:29:23,885
- "This was it."
- You're dust.
535
00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:26,419
- And your stories are dust.
- "Final adversary.."
536
00:29:26,503 --> 00:29:28,113
- It's the characters...
- "The last gun battle.."
537
00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:29,331
Nobody'll remember your clever...
538
00:29:29,419 --> 00:29:30,679
"...coming at me
539
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,639
like a bullet to the gut."
540
00:29:32,727 --> 00:29:35,507
But they'll remember
Clyde Umney.
541
00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:37,599
Ah, that's right.
542
00:29:37,688 --> 00:29:40,128
Make everything stop
so you can do anything you want.
543
00:29:40,213 --> 00:29:41,783
Clyde Umney would never do that.
544
00:29:41,867 --> 00:29:43,997
He'd call it
the coward's way out.
545
00:29:47,524 --> 00:29:49,354
Let me live.
546
00:29:49,439 --> 00:29:51,219
This is my life.
547
00:29:52,355 --> 00:29:53,435
Too late.
548
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:55,270
[swooshing]
549
00:29:55,358 --> 00:29:57,668
It's my name on the windows.
550
00:29:57,752 --> 00:30:00,582
I have always wanted
to be a private eye.
551
00:30:00,668 --> 00:30:02,368
Ever since I was a little kid.
552
00:30:02,452 --> 00:30:05,412
To live in a world
I could understand.
553
00:30:05,499 --> 00:30:08,589
Where sweet little boys
don't drown..
554
00:30:08,676 --> 00:30:11,326
...and husbands and wives
don't stop loving each other.
555
00:30:12,767 --> 00:30:15,027
That place is here.
556
00:30:15,117 --> 00:30:19,027
My place, my time,
Los Angeles, 1938.
557
00:30:19,121 --> 00:30:22,651
And that private eye is me.
558
00:30:22,733 --> 00:30:24,523
Is this the end of Clyde Umney?
559
00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:26,515
I don't exactly know
what's coming.
560
00:30:27,782 --> 00:30:29,612
Close your eyes.
561
00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:32,527
I'll try to make this quick.
562
00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:35,443
I hope it doesn't hurt, old buddy.
563
00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:39,839
But you could care less
if it does, you arrogant prick.
564
00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:42,835
"And so I left town.
565
00:30:45,278 --> 00:30:47,848
And as to where I finished up
566
00:30:47,933 --> 00:30:50,113
well, mister
567
00:30:50,196 --> 00:30:52,806
I think that's my business.
Don't you?
568
00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:57,771
The end."
569
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:04,120
[intense music]
570
00:31:09,476 --> 00:31:11,346
[breathing heavily]
571
00:31:26,449 --> 00:31:27,889
[Linda]
Sam.
572
00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:29,633
I'm Clyde Umney.
573
00:31:32,151 --> 00:31:33,591
Gosh, Sam, what did you do?
574
00:31:33,674 --> 00:31:35,684
You grow a mustache
while I'm mopping the floor?
575
00:31:35,763 --> 00:31:38,163
I'm Clyde Umney,
Mrs. Landry, from 1938.
576
00:31:38,244 --> 00:31:40,294
This is a little early
for Halloween, honey.
577
00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:43,156
Can I come in?
The pool is cold.
578
00:31:43,249 --> 00:31:44,509
[shivering]
579
00:31:44,598 --> 00:31:46,118
What do you expect?
580
00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:48,688
Nobody's used it in months.
581
00:31:48,776 --> 00:31:51,166
I guess nobody would.
582
00:31:51,257 --> 00:31:53,167
Not since your son drowned.
583
00:31:53,259 --> 00:31:55,649
Danny.
He was six years old.
584
00:31:57,524 --> 00:31:59,224
Sam told me all about it.
585
00:31:59,308 --> 00:32:02,698
And I'm sorry. It was a tragic
accident, ma'am
586
00:32:02,790 --> 00:32:05,230
and you don't need to be
shoulderin' the blame.
587
00:32:05,314 --> 00:32:07,494
When did you talk to Sam?
588
00:32:07,577 --> 00:32:10,017
When he came into my office
and stole my damn life.
589
00:32:11,407 --> 00:32:13,667
So..
590
00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:16,407
...this is the house
imagination built.
591
00:32:16,499 --> 00:32:17,979
Sam was big on imagination.
592
00:32:18,066 --> 00:32:19,806
Yeah, I can imagine him.
593
00:32:19,894 --> 00:32:22,164
In cement shoes
at the bottom of a lake.
594
00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:25,855
Sam talked about this.
595
00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:29,298
He called it the big rewrite.
596
00:32:29,382 --> 00:32:32,822
He was gonna write you
out of your world
597
00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:34,907
and write himself back in.
598
00:32:34,996 --> 00:32:38,426
I just thought it was
another one of his daydreams.
599
00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:40,051
But..
600
00:32:40,132 --> 00:32:41,522
Wait, you're..
601
00:32:42,699 --> 00:32:44,789
You're as real as can be.
602
00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:46,565
We swapped lives.
603
00:32:46,660 --> 00:32:49,400
That's what must've happened.
604
00:32:49,489 --> 00:32:51,009
What did it feel like?
605
00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:54,709
There was a... a lot of
bright, green light, and then..
606
00:32:54,798 --> 00:32:57,318
I guess I came in
through the machine.
607
00:32:57,410 --> 00:32:59,330
Like a keyhole
between two worlds.
608
00:33:01,631 --> 00:33:03,331
But it feels alright.
609
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:06,944
Hm.
610
00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:08,728
That thing is..
611
00:33:08,812 --> 00:33:11,732
...black-magic voodoo.
612
00:33:11,815 --> 00:33:13,595
On a good day.
613
00:33:13,687 --> 00:33:16,517
Does this mean that Sam is gone?
614
00:33:16,603 --> 00:33:19,083
He's probably got his heels up
on my damn desk right now.
615
00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:21,431
Fleecing my clients
and chasing my girl.
616
00:33:21,521 --> 00:33:23,091
Only, she's dead.
617
00:33:23,175 --> 00:33:26,085
He probably brought her back
to life, the selfish bastard.
618
00:33:28,354 --> 00:33:30,234
- Do you want a drink?
- You oughta know.
619
00:33:30,312 --> 00:33:32,842
Oh, hold the phone.
620
00:33:32,923 --> 00:33:35,843
[instrumental music]
621
00:33:37,232 --> 00:33:38,362
[pop]
622
00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,761
Hmm. Ahh.
623
00:33:49,244 --> 00:33:51,464
You're a lot more fun in person.
624
00:33:51,551 --> 00:33:53,421
In the novels, you're very grim.
625
00:33:53,509 --> 00:33:55,729
Murder is grim,
Mrs. Landry.
626
00:33:58,819 --> 00:34:00,999
What the hell are we
supposed to do now?
627
00:34:01,082 --> 00:34:03,132
Well..
628
00:34:03,215 --> 00:34:05,165
you're a hard-boiled
detective and I'm a dame.
629
00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:07,220
We could always find
some lonely, gullible type
630
00:34:07,306 --> 00:34:09,216
and shoot him for the insurance.
631
00:34:11,484 --> 00:34:14,444
Irony. You didn't have
that in your world.
632
00:34:14,530 --> 00:34:18,400
You mean talkin' uppity
in order to sound smart?
633
00:34:19,448 --> 00:34:20,798
Yeah.
634
00:34:23,539 --> 00:34:25,019
We had it.
635
00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:28,853
[instrumental music]
636
00:34:36,726 --> 00:34:38,546
Sam Landry,
private investigator.
637
00:34:43,690 --> 00:34:46,080
Sam Landry,
private investigator.
638
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:50,480
Sam Landry here.
639
00:34:50,566 --> 00:34:52,606
Jes..
Ring.
640
00:34:54,701 --> 00:34:56,361
Landry here.
641
00:34:56,442 --> 00:34:58,572
Doll, I told ya,
don't call me at work.
642
00:35:02,665 --> 00:35:05,225
This is gonna be alright.
643
00:35:08,758 --> 00:35:09,978
[beeping]
644
00:35:13,241 --> 00:35:16,031
Ah. That's swell of you,
Mrs. Landry.
645
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:18,034
Well, I want you
to feel at home.
646
00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:21,554
Say, uh..
647
00:35:22,859 --> 00:35:24,689
Ahh.
648
00:35:24,774 --> 00:35:26,344
You know how
to work that machine?
649
00:35:26,428 --> 00:35:28,388
Not if you keep
calling me Mrs. Landry.
650
00:35:28,474 --> 00:35:30,264
Couldn't be any harder
than flyin' an airplane.
651
00:35:30,345 --> 00:35:31,995
Like you did in wings of deceit.
652
00:35:32,086 --> 00:35:33,646
You know,
that was not Sam's best.
653
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:36,740
He had some success,
and then he got fat and lazy.
654
00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:38,960
Are you gettin' this
news flash, Mrs. Landry?
655
00:35:39,049 --> 00:35:40,659
Your husband cared for you,
he didn't want you
656
00:35:40,747 --> 00:35:42,307
to suffer anymore,
because of the kid kickin' off.
657
00:35:42,401 --> 00:35:43,841
That's why I'm here.
658
00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:45,234
That's why
everything's loused up
659
00:35:45,317 --> 00:35:47,007
and somehow I gotta get back.
660
00:35:47,101 --> 00:35:49,321
But you can't, because that's
not the way Sam wrote it.
661
00:35:49,408 --> 00:35:50,838
Well, screw him.
662
00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:53,111
Sam was right, though.
663
00:35:53,194 --> 00:35:57,464
Being with you is having
a very positive effect.
664
00:35:57,546 --> 00:35:58,896
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
665
00:35:58,982 --> 00:36:00,682
Well, I call it hell.
666
00:36:00,767 --> 00:36:03,117
Frozen dinners
you cook in a box.
667
00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:05,774
Sneakers that look
like Frankenstein shoes!
668
00:36:05,859 --> 00:36:07,249
Music that sounds like crows
669
00:36:07,339 --> 00:36:08,779
being steamed alive
in a pressure cooker.
670
00:36:08,862 --> 00:36:11,522
There's a lot
to recommend in this world.
671
00:36:11,604 --> 00:36:13,614
The sushi.
672
00:36:13,693 --> 00:36:15,563
Caller ID.
673
00:36:15,651 --> 00:36:18,351
Three hundred-thread-count
Egyptian cotton sheets
674
00:36:18,437 --> 00:36:19,787
available by catalog.
675
00:36:19,873 --> 00:36:21,573
Wait a minute.
676
00:36:21,657 --> 00:36:23,567
Bite me, Clyde.
I'm just a tramp.
677
00:36:23,659 --> 00:36:25,919
I know who are.
You're Cora Papadakis.
678
00:36:26,009 --> 00:36:28,099
The hellcat from
requiem for a lady.
679
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:29,616
You know, Sam stole that name
680
00:36:29,709 --> 00:36:31,669
from a man called
James M. Cain.
681
00:36:31,754 --> 00:36:34,064
He was a greedy little thief.
682
00:36:34,148 --> 00:36:36,238
- You're no good. You're a bum.
- Oh, God.
683
00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:39,854
Oh, just relax, will you?
We're a married couple.
684
00:36:39,936 --> 00:36:41,546
If you and my husband
are the same person
685
00:36:41,634 --> 00:36:44,114
then technically,
we must be married.
686
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,512
Ardis McGill was always
supposed to be my one true love.
687
00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:49,725
But wait. We don't have to play
by his rules, Clyde.
688
00:36:49,816 --> 00:36:51,596
We can write our own story.
689
00:36:51,687 --> 00:36:54,907
Oh, let's just drive
to Mexico, baby
690
00:36:54,995 --> 00:36:58,555
just you, me, and the road.
691
00:36:58,651 --> 00:37:00,781
Let's make a baby.
692
00:37:00,870 --> 00:37:03,740
I know it's gonna look..
693
00:37:03,830 --> 00:37:05,920
...just..
694
00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:07,396
...like you.
695
00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:14,192
When did you open shop,
Detective Landry?
696
00:37:14,275 --> 00:37:15,885
A few chapters ago.
697
00:37:15,972 --> 00:37:17,322
[grunts]
698
00:37:18,714 --> 00:37:20,284
I see.
699
00:37:21,543 --> 00:37:24,073
So.. What up?
700
00:37:24,154 --> 00:37:26,464
[chuckling]
701
00:37:26,548 --> 00:37:28,118
Um..
702
00:37:28,202 --> 00:37:29,902
You suspect your wife
of fooling around?
703
00:37:29,986 --> 00:37:31,946
[bell ringing]
704
00:37:38,647 --> 00:37:41,167
- Hi, Mr. Landry.
- Candy?
705
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,779
No, thanks.
706
00:37:42,869 --> 00:37:44,699
I'm here to clean your pool.
707
00:37:44,784 --> 00:37:48,004
Oh. So that's what they're
callin' it these days.
708
00:37:48,091 --> 00:37:50,441
[chuckling]
Yeah.
709
00:37:50,529 --> 00:37:52,789
So, you look good.
710
00:37:52,879 --> 00:37:55,009
How's the writing going?
711
00:37:55,098 --> 00:37:56,448
Peachy.
712
00:37:56,535 --> 00:37:59,405
[instrumental music]
713
00:38:06,458 --> 00:38:08,548
I'm home, honey!
714
00:38:09,983 --> 00:38:11,463
- Bang bang!
- No! Whoa!
715
00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:13,550
- Ah!
- Ho-ho! No! No.
716
00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:15,159
- Yeah, you better run.
- Ha-ha!
717
00:38:15,249 --> 00:38:17,379
I got a big, bad gun,
and you're gonna get it.
718
00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:20,779
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
I'll do anything.
719
00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:22,653
Danny's at the bottom
of the pool!
720
00:38:22,735 --> 00:38:23,865
Danny's at the bottom of..
721
00:38:23,953 --> 00:38:26,573
[Linda]
Sam! Sam! Go! Sam! Go!
722
00:38:27,696 --> 00:38:28,826
Mom!
723
00:38:28,915 --> 00:38:31,125
Don't shoot. I'll do anything.
724
00:38:31,221 --> 00:38:34,661
- Get out!
- Whoa!
725
00:38:34,747 --> 00:38:38,187
- Whoa! Wai..
- Leave my boy alone!
726
00:38:38,272 --> 00:38:40,102
- Lousy, two-faced..
- Alright, calm down. Calm down.
727
00:38:40,187 --> 00:38:42,227
Washed-up divorce detective
with bad breath.
728
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,890
Calm down.
Calm down, Mrs. Landry.
729
00:38:45,975 --> 00:38:47,795
I just want Sam and Danny.
730
00:38:47,890 --> 00:38:49,810
Get ahold of yourself,
Mrs. Landry.
731
00:38:49,892 --> 00:38:51,552
I thought we could start over.
732
00:38:51,633 --> 00:38:52,853
I thought we could have a baby
733
00:38:52,939 --> 00:38:54,159
and it would look just...
734
00:38:54,244 --> 00:38:55,644
Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
735
00:38:55,724 --> 00:38:57,124
No.
736
00:38:57,204 --> 00:38:59,344
I bought clothes.
737
00:38:59,424 --> 00:39:02,344
I was gonna surprise you
with a second honeymoon.
738
00:39:02,427 --> 00:39:04,687
Or first, or whichever, but..
739
00:39:04,777 --> 00:39:06,517
You're with her.
740
00:39:06,605 --> 00:39:08,775
It's never gonna change,
Mrs. Landry.
741
00:39:08,868 --> 00:39:11,648
This is who I am.
This is how it's written.
742
00:39:11,740 --> 00:39:13,220
No. No.
743
00:39:13,307 --> 00:39:15,047
Because Sam changed the ending.
744
00:39:15,135 --> 00:39:18,005
Sam thought he was god,
but he forgot one thing.
745
00:39:18,094 --> 00:39:20,014
Character is destiny.
746
00:39:20,096 --> 00:39:22,656
Clyde Umney's
never gonna change.
747
00:39:22,751 --> 00:39:25,011
If it makes you feel any better,
I don't wanna be here either.
748
00:39:25,101 --> 00:39:26,541
In this groaning world of yours
749
00:39:26,625 --> 00:39:29,885
with its freight of disease
and senseless violence.
750
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:35,159
[instrumental music]
751
00:39:35,851 --> 00:39:37,161
Oh.
752
00:39:39,072 --> 00:39:41,382
Just go.
753
00:39:41,466 --> 00:39:44,506
Just go back to wherever
it is you came from.
754
00:39:44,599 --> 00:39:46,429
In a snap, Mrs. Landry.
755
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,516
Only, God didn't leave
the directions.
756
00:40:03,966 --> 00:40:06,316
- I know she is.
- How do you know?
757
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:09,284
- I saw them together.
- You saw them together.
758
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:10,893
So that's how you..
759
00:40:12,453 --> 00:40:14,413
...put it together.
760
00:40:14,499 --> 00:40:18,679
- Yes. In the toolshed.
- Mm-hmm.
761
00:40:18,764 --> 00:40:21,294
What, may I ask..
762
00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:24,375
[sighs]
Of course, you may ask.
You ask him.
763
00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:28,027
What were they doing
in the toolshed?
764
00:40:28,121 --> 00:40:31,521
Is it necessary to go into
such personal details?
765
00:40:31,603 --> 00:40:33,343
That's why they say "Private"
766
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,431
in private eye, Mr. Woolrich.
767
00:40:39,959 --> 00:40:41,919
That's pretty good.
768
00:40:46,226 --> 00:40:49,096
[instrumental music]
769
00:40:51,057 --> 00:40:52,967
[siren blaring]
770
00:41:00,762 --> 00:41:02,762
- We need a nurse in here.
- Right there.
771
00:41:02,851 --> 00:41:05,331
His pupils are
fixed and dilated.
772
00:41:05,419 --> 00:41:06,939
- Okay. Let's move him.
- Yes, doctor.
773
00:41:07,029 --> 00:41:08,339
One, two..
774
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,080
We're losing him.
775
00:41:25,091 --> 00:41:27,961
[instrumental music]
776
00:41:46,286 --> 00:41:48,196
[thunder rumbling]
777
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,950
[music continues]
778
00:42:03,912 --> 00:42:04,912
[wind whooshing]
779
00:42:21,321 --> 00:42:23,241
[screaming]
780
00:42:25,281 --> 00:42:27,371
- No.
- Detective Landry.
781
00:42:29,982 --> 00:42:32,682
No. No.
782
00:42:32,767 --> 00:42:35,287
- What on earth?
- No.
783
00:42:43,822 --> 00:42:46,042
[crashing]
784
00:42:46,128 --> 00:42:47,998
[car alarm blaring]
785
00:42:51,830 --> 00:42:54,570
[instrumental music]
786
00:42:54,659 --> 00:42:56,399
What have I done?
787
00:43:05,408 --> 00:43:07,588
What didn't I do?
788
00:43:20,685 --> 00:43:23,595
[music continues]
789
00:43:54,936 --> 00:43:56,806
[music continues]
790
00:43:59,332 --> 00:44:01,682
[Clyde]
"Ardis McGill was
a really great gal.
791
00:44:01,769 --> 00:44:03,679
I mean, really great.
792
00:44:03,771 --> 00:44:06,951
In the sense that you'd never
met anyone like her before."
793
00:44:08,863 --> 00:44:10,783
Take me back.
794
00:44:10,865 --> 00:44:15,605
Through the looking glass.. now.
795
00:44:15,696 --> 00:44:17,516
Wow.
796
00:44:17,611 --> 00:44:18,961
Honey, that's really bad.
797
00:44:19,047 --> 00:44:21,347
Okay, okay, it isn't perfect.
798
00:44:21,441 --> 00:44:23,311
[scoffs]
It sucks.
799
00:44:23,399 --> 00:44:26,359
- But who says you can't learn?
- God.
800
00:44:26,446 --> 00:44:28,966
I guess it's a one-way thing.
You can't just type the words.
801
00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:30,407
You gotta be a real writer.
802
00:44:30,493 --> 00:44:31,973
Which is what?
803
00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:35,930
A writer wakes up
with his mouth full of pity.
804
00:44:36,021 --> 00:44:37,941
Hemingway said that.
805
00:44:38,023 --> 00:44:41,423
How did I know?
I didn't. It was Sam.
806
00:44:41,504 --> 00:44:43,034
Sam's the real writer.
807
00:44:43,115 --> 00:44:44,675
I'm just me.
808
00:44:45,726 --> 00:44:47,856
Forget it, baby.
809
00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:50,636
No.
I'm gonna get better at this.
810
00:44:50,731 --> 00:44:52,341
Did you read that, Sam?
811
00:44:52,428 --> 00:44:54,688
I'm comin' after you.
812
00:44:54,779 --> 00:44:56,559
I found my way in.
813
00:44:56,650 --> 00:44:59,390
I can see you, but I don't think
you'll be able to see me.
814
00:44:59,479 --> 00:45:01,659
Not until I wrap my hands
around your neck.
815
00:45:01,742 --> 00:45:03,312
[chuckling]
816
00:45:03,396 --> 00:45:05,266
Until next time, pal.
817
00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:09,624
[instrumental music]
818
00:45:38,474 --> 00:45:41,394
[music continues]
53459
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