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1
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,716
(Grinding, whirring, banging)
2
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,950
What are they building? The noise!
3
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,793
They'll finish soon,
we'll have a quiet Sunday.
4
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,791
(Loud grinding)
5
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,236
- Jesus.
- We'll just have to blank it out.
6
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:45,238
Hi. Hi. Erm, I was wondering
if you could do a book search for me?
7
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,994
I'm looking for a biography of Schubert.
8
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,630
So if you could hunt it up for me,
I'll wait here.
9
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,320
What Kind of coffee do you do?
10
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,995
This is a book shop, we don't do coffee.
11
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,310
- The other book shops do.
- Listen, you...
12
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,357
(Drowned out by grinding)
13
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,751
This Schubert, this book search,
how does it work?
14
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,357
Well, you know.
You just...and it pops up.
15
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,677
We've a different sort of...
16
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,717
here.
17
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,155
Get on your knees.
18
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,197
Put your hands on the floor.
19
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:35,831
From where you are how
to that far corner is our music section.
20
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,073
It's a bit mixed up with aviation,
botany and pregnancy.
21
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,515
- Search!
- (Thunderous grinding)
22
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,800
That is the kind of thing
that is going to put customers off.
23
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,271
- (Grinding resumes)
- Go and see when the noise will stop!
24
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,473
- (Grinding stops)
- Well?
25
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,474
- (Grinding)
- (Drowned out)
26
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,437
- (Grinding stops)
- What?
27
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,751
(Drowned out by grinding)
28
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,797
Just wait!
29
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,951
(Grinding stops)
30
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,637
(Grinding resumes)
31
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,957
So what did he say?
32
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,396
He'll start again after lunch,
it'll get worse tomorrow.
33
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:29,031
- They wake you?
- Seven o'clock. I was doing my t'ai chi.
34
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,192
It's not actually illegal to kill a builder.
35
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,715
Hey, hey, hey! It's Sunday, right?
36
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,757
- Yes.
- And we want to get away?
37
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,990
- Yes.
- Why don't we...
38
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,913
go to the park?
39
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,994
Did that suggestion
deserve the preface "Hey, hey, hey"?
40
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,875
- What about the cinema?
- Let's see.
41
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,671
OK, how about this?
42
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,799
"Bouffant. Sandra Bullock sets
up a tiny hairdresser's
43
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,951
"in the trenches of the First World War."
44
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,429
- No.
- What else?
45
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,597
Here we go - "Regression.
46
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,832
"Richard Gere kills himself
to go into the past
47
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:13,550
"to rescue himself as a child
so he can grow up to kill himself
48
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,234
"to rescue himself as a child
so he can...”
49
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,470
- No!
- There must be something else.
50
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,517
What's this?
51
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,877
"Blue Tunes. Matt Damon,
Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver.”
52
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,759
- 1 hate her.
- "Grouchy Leonard Blue
53
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:31,038
"runs a record shop with halfwit
moustachioed assistant Danny.”
54
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,758
Ha!
55
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,151
"When they team up
with neurotic neighbour Pam
56
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,516
"things become a riot of laughs.”
57
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,353
Where do they get this crap?
A child could...
58
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,875
- They think we're idiots.
- Wankers.
59
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,917
They all think they're great.
60
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,389
(Sighs) We have to do something.
61
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,312
Er, the usual, please.
62
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,995
- What is your usual?
- I haven't decided yet.
63
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,277
I quite like the idea
of asking for the usual.
64
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,910
Come on, let's get back.
He must be gone, it's lunch.
65
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,957
The usual.
66
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,759
(American accent) Hey, the usual, please.
67
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,797
Er, usual, please.
68
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,475
(Posh accent) Can I have the usual?
Usual, please.
69
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,197
(Whirring and banging)
70
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,997
We have to do something!
71
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,230
Let's go out for Sunday lunch.
72
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,231
- All right.
- Where? Where?
73
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,632
There's this new place, very in -
The Mortuary.
74
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,078
No vegetables, everything's
dead animals on little headstones.
75
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,270
Why does it have to be fancy?
76
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,273
I just want sausage, mash
and a bit of cake.
77
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,115
Not twigs fried in honey
or a donkey in a coffin.
78
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,352
Let's go to that place
that does chicken and things.
79
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,320
- OK. Oh, what shall we wear?
- Excuse me?
80
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,119
- What sort of place is it?
- A restaurant.
81
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,830
Shall we dress up or down?
- You can dress upside down, inside out,
82
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,560
you'll still eat your spaghetti like a pig.
83
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,473
- Can we just go to lunch?
- Give us a minute,
84
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,154
I have to get my contact lenses.
85
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,918
(Banging)
86
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,198
Ber...Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber...
87
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,271
Fix her, will you?
88
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:31,038
Ber-Ber-Bernard, they're building for
two weeks, there's a sign. We can't stay.
89
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,794
- (Grinding)
- I'll sort them out later.
90
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,520
- What are you gonna do?
- What can you do?
91
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,557
I'll write to the council.
92
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,156
- What are you gonna say?
- I'll say, "Dear Council...
93
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,873
"Please don't build beside us
for the next two weeks.”
94
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,476
- What if that doesn't work?
- Yeah, what are you gonna do?
95
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,631
- Wanna know what I'll do?
- Yeah.
96
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,394
1 will...drink heavily and shout at you!
97
00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:00,519
- (Grinding)
- But I won't hear cos I'll be in Drillsville!
98
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,477
Then I'll write to you as well!
99
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,393
- (Grinding stops)
- We'll have to go away.
100
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,791
It's perfect,
it's a good excuse to have a holiday.
101
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,190
- Come on, we all need a change.
- (Grinding)
102
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,998
We're not going anywhere!
103
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,833
- This place'll be hell.
- 1 am not going on holiday.
104
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,150
- Wait.
- (Grinding stops)
105
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,758
Look, look.
106
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,956
- What's this?
- Photos of my trip.
107
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,429
Ooh, it's lovely. Is it Bali?
108
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,195
- Mauritius. Well? Well?
- What?
109
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,749
They're like any holiday photographs,
110
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:36,754
people stood about squinting
who didn't realise they were that fat.
111
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:41,277
That's us outside a restaurant.
And that's us outside a hotel.
112
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,954
Whoo! What a transformation!
113
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,237
Oh, and - ha - that's Eddie,
he was our map reader,
114
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,994
he's a gallery owner
but, er, he lives in Kent.
115
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,354
This is the only one of the whole group.
116
00:06:55,440 --> 00:07:00,150
Probably one of the few times in my life
when I've been truly happy.
117
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,995
Why are you showing me these?
I don't know these people.
118
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,754
The only use
this photograph would be to me
119
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:12,799
would be if I was a hit man
and somebody asked me to Kill Eddie,
120
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,951
the gallery owner from Trent.
121
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,111
- Kent.
- l don't care!
122
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,157
- I'm not going.
- Fine.
123
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,710
We'll go. You stay
and get your head drilled to bits.
124
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,350
We are going to sunbathe, read,
and have silly drinks on a beach.
125
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,636
Beach? No! I want the unknown -
126
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,236
mystery, strange places, snakes, jungle.
127
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:36,029
Manny, I am not going
to spend my holiday in a shake pit.
128
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,589
- Shut up. Where's this sign?
- Outside.
129
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,031
There must be somewhere
that has jungle AND beach.
130
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,351
What do you do in there,
anyway, in a jungle?
131
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,399
Well, you see how many miles
you can walk in a day.
132
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,075
Yeah, but the heat -
you must get so dehydrated.
133
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,393
Yeah, well, in a tight spot
you can always drink your own urine.
134
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,269
Yeah, but what about the insects?
And how do you wash?
135
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:08,912
That's not such a big priority when
you're quaffing pints of your own whizz.
136
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,796
Excuse me, sorry.
Could I just....? Thank you.
137
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,317
Thanks.
138
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,317
- Perfect.
- I'll sort it.
139
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,233
Don't get ripped off. Book it after lunch.
140
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,277
Forget lunch.
141
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,955
- And I'm not going to Thailand.
- You said you weren't going anywhere.
142
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,510
Doo-dah didn't say they're
building round the clock.
143
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,557
So forget beaches and jungles,
144
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,395
we're going where I can read, sit,
and have a quiet drink.
145
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,438
So your ideal holiday
would in fact be here?
146
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,559
Correct.
So find somewhere exactly like this.
147
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,029
With a jungle.
148
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,158
And a bit of beach?
We're never gonna find anything.
149
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,710
Here we are -
"The sunlit island of Saint-Honoré.
150
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,633
"A tropical jungle
engirdled with golden sands
151
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:27,918
"boasting the hemisphere's
only English book shop and bar.”
152
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,391
- I suppose that'll have to do.
- And it's got a website.
153
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,518
Manny, do the flights.
I'll get the essentials.
154
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,831
- Where are you going?
- To pack. Back in two minutes.
155
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,151
Right. Better get cracking.
Get the suitcase...
156
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,073
(Whirring)
157
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,471
Right, what do we need?
158
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,154
What do we need? Ah.
159
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,914
Sun cream, first-aid Kit, sunglasses,
160
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,355
cologne, and...yep.
161
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,391
Get rid of the rubbish.
162
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,391
Good, you're putting stuff in.
Thanks for helping.
163
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,836
Phrase books,
traveller's cheques, insect stuff...
164
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,070
- Music!
- Music, good point.
165
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,516
- (Drilling)
- CD player, CDs...
166
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,671
and...clothes.
167
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,359
Crap.
168
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,159
Crap, crap, crap, crap.
169
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,511
Right. And very important - malaria pills.
170
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,317
- Right.
- Good thinking.
171
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,960
- Would you get the corkscrew?
- Yep.
172
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,958
There you go.
173
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,316
Now, that's what I call teamwork.
174
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,076
(Crash)
175
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,477
- You done?
- You've been ages!
176
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,517
What's in the bag?
177
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,559
(Panting) Oh, it's nothing.
Just, you know, women's bits.
178
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,597
Walk away from the bag.
179
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,910
Manny.
180
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,790
No! Don't open it! It's private!
181
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,917
It's girls' things! No!
182
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,589
Just as I thought! Put her in the chair.
183
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:40,072
No! No! No! No!
184
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,317
We're here to help you.
185
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,311
You don't understand.
186
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,550
We understand that you're ill.
187
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,396
When you've learned to be sensible,
you can have this.
188
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,952
- You don't really need these.
- Of course I do.
189
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,997
They're my slow dancing mules.
190
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,437
And you don't need these.
191
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,832
I do. Suppose we're invited to a...
yacht party by drug dealers.
192
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,797
Two pairs, more than you need.
193
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,440
Just one more! Take something else out.
194
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,560
No, contact lenses and
emergency money, throw it away.
195
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,757
Erm, erm... Show me those.
196
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,036
Those. And those. Those.
197
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,160
You can take one pair.
198
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,749
Oh, I... I can't decide.
199
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,950
You can't make me choose.
200
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,395
What's it to be? One pair! Come on!
201
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,359
Oh, erm...
Well, those ones are comfortable.
202
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,556
- Right, in they go.
- No! Wait!
203
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,031
- Show me those ones again.
- These are weird.
204
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,272
They are beautiful.
205
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,319
They make strong men cry
in train stations. Put them in.
206
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,437
Right, well, that's your lot.
207
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,157
Bernard, got your passport?
208
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,197
For God's sake, of course I do.
209
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,317
Actually, I don't. Go and get it.
210
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,791
- Where is it?
- Where does anybody keep them?
211
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,754
It's in the...building.
212
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,276
Bernard, go and get it.
We all have to work together.
213
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,715
All right, all right.
214
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,757
So, we have everything?
215
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,959
Yep, let's just check the list
to be double super-safety sure.
216
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,793
I'll stop you if we've missed something.
217
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,759
Right, OK. 1950s-style windbreaker
218
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,992
with two-tone lining and self-stripe cuffs.
219
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,993
- Sta-Prest peach slacks...
- Manny.
220
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,037
Let's just say clothes.
221
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,760
Yeah, all right. Done.
222
00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:00,595
We have traveller's cheques, insurance,
Bernard's getting his passport.
223
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,035
Sun screen,
insect repellent, phrase books?
224
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,838
- Jawohl.
- Booked the taxi?
225
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,594
- Done!
- Saint-Honoré here we come!
226
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,796
What time is the flight?
227
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,156
The... Hmm?
228
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,717
You didn't book the flights.
229
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,474
I'm so sorry, I got distracted by the...
230
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,517
And, erm...
231
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,713
My... my pants aren't that easy to fold.
232
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,677
Not a problem. It's on the net, you said.
233
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,717
Yeah. Easy, easy.
234
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,436
(Beeping, dialling)
235
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,990
(Data transfer noise)
236
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,077
OK, what's the name of the site?
237
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:52,313
Er, yeah, I know, it's, erm...
Holiday...ding dot thing.
238
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,755
Er, no, no. Erm... Holiday at...
239
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,319
dot...
240
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,477
..holiday. Quick, quick.
241
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,237
I wanted it to be safe.
242
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,117
Ha!
243
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,310
No, that's not it.
This button doesn't work, look.
244
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,516
You are pressing my hand.
245
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,152
Manny, you must remember
the name of the site.
246
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,197
Ah! Naughty little passport.
247
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,910
Hiding in the crisps again!
248
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,440
Manny, we have been
doing this now for five hours.
249
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,193
Where did you see the name of the site?
250
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,590
- In the papers.
- Which bit?
251
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,273
The travel section.
252
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,352
Which is open
just there on the top, isn't it?
253
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,397
Yep, yep.
254
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,789
Could you read the ad out
from the paper to me, please?
255
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,837
"Fly-Saint-Honoré.com.”
256
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:24,040
I had it in my hand.
I wanted it to be safe.
257
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,117
I went over here...
258
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,796
- Where can it be?
- Right, got it.
259
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,475
- Oh, Fran, you're a genius.
- We can't go, I've no passport.
260
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,870
- Have you checked your desk?
- What? No.
261
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,917
Oh, yes, there it is.
262
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:45,236
Right. Sorted.
We've got a bargain. Better go to bed,
263
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,914
it's an early flight, saves us money.
264
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,640
- I'll get us up.
- No. You can't be trusted.
265
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,951
- I'm staying awake.
- Yeah, I'd better kip here.
266
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,793
- Can I have your bed?
- Yeah.
267
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,510
- Got any bin liners?
- In the kitchen.
268
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,392
- And, er, Dettol?
- Under the sink.
269
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,197
- Ajax?
- Yeah, just here.
270
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,998
Thanks.
271
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,198
Are you really actually
gonna get in the bed?
272
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,476
- Yeah.
- Right. Erm...
273
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,836
- Take these.
- No, I'm not hungry.
274
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,231
No, it's not for you.
Just chuck ‘em under the bed.
275
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,517
What...? What's... what's under the bed?
276
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,557
Dunno.
277
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,756
We just call it the Thing.
278
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,714
(Bernard moans)
279
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,792
(Car horn toots)
280
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,715
- Come on, come on!
- Come on!
281
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,552
Wake up! Wake up! Get up!
282
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,233
Cab's outside, come on!
283
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,391
Hmm? Come on! Hmm?
284
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,676
Final check. Final.
285
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,353
Good.
286
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,829
Good. Come on!
287
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,672
Come on!
288
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,990
Wake up! Get up!
289
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,796
Listen, there's a slight catch.
290
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,110
These flights are very cheap.
291
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,157
Four quid each.
292
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,197
Quite reasonable, yes.
293
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,749
So we have to make
a couple of changeovers.
294
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,879
- (Bernard) How does that work?
- Well, to get to the Canaries
295
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,917
we have to change...
296
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,150
(Clears throat) ..in New Zealand.
297
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,356
What? That's practically in France!
298
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,353
- I know.
- Why don't we just go there?
299
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,717
We could have sake at the rodeo
and go home on a sled with camels.
300
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,757
We're just refuelling.
301
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,797
And then we change again at...
302
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,837
(Clears throat) ..Stansted.
303
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,957
I've always wanted to go there.
304
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,192
- Nice, is it?
- They've got these trains
305
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,396
that have no driver.
306
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,676
Ah? Have they?
307
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,195
We'll just be there for a few days.
308
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,237
In and around the airport.
309
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,473
- In, mostly.
- That's where the trains are.
310
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,076
And then it's straight on
to sunny Saint-Honoré!
311
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,869
(PA) "Would passengers Black,
Bianco and Katzenjammer
312
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,315
- please go to gate 4.'
- That's us.
313
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,438
Wait, wait. Let's see if they do it again.
314
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,672
‘Passengers Black,
Bianco and Katzenjammer,
315
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,434
- ‘please go to gate 4 now.'
- (All cheer)
316
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,310
It must be the last connection.
We must be nearly home.
317
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,835
- Is this Prague?
- l don't care.
318
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,196
I'm not getting on another plane.
319
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,590
I think this is Miami.
320
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,150
Fine. I'm gonna live here
and sell guns to children.
321
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,358
- You liked Saint-Honoré.
- 1 did!
322
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,319
I thoroughly enjoyed
our four hours there.
323
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,835
You can't say the flights weren't cheap.
324
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,914
And you can't say
we didn't spend 13 days on a plane.
325
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,991
574.
326
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,516
574 what?
327
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,069
I kept them all.
328
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,198
574 of these little towel things.
329
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,397
Let's get a drink.
330
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,437
This might be Nairobi.
331
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,116
No, it's definitely Minsk.
332
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,396
You're both wrong. It's obvious.
333
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,949
He's got all the trademark piercings.
334
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,076
Hakim yoba hara hakhyakh!
335
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,672
Uloddivisholov neinsbar.
336
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,477
(Clears throat)
337
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,393
Anvill kerrigan godean lethes.
338
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,395
(Slowly) Where are we?
339
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,791
- Heathrow, love.
- Oh, hey, we're home!
340
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,191
Ohhh. Erm,
three glasses of Merlot, please.
341
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,873
(Sighs)
342
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,919
Oh, don't look at me like that.
Hey, it wasn't all bad.
343
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,039
How many people can say
they've been on a hospital river boat?
344
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:12,079
And you can be sure they didn't
get to operate on themselves.
345
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,913
Just as well
they thought Manny was a god.
346
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,959
It'll be some time before
I want to sacrifice another monkey.
347
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,317
We said we wouldn't talk about Canada!
348
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,311
Let's go home.
349
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,596
- Have you got your keys?
- No.
350
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,116
I left them in the bag
which you kindly lost.
351
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,157
Ah.
352
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,197
What do you mean, "Ah"?
353
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,157
Well, I think that...
354
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,197
my keys were in there as well.
355
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,079
Were they? Funny, isn't it, travel?
356
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,117
Just one thing after another.
357
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,510
- You're fired.
- Oh, now, look.
358
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,672
And after I dislodge
and return your thong,
359
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,400
I never want to see you again either.
360
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,239
(Grunts)
361
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,998
Do you want to jump?
362
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,720
- I came down gradually...
- Get away from me!
363
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,476
It was a thrill to recreate with you
but now our association ends.
364
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,349
You have brought nothing
but pain, penury
365
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,670
and strife into my days.
366
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,991
1 wish you good fortune
in whatever avenue of life
367
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,549
you assault with your presence.
368
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,711
Here's your redundancy package.
369
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,394
Sorry it's in Phrenobian wooden dollars
370
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,517
but that's largely your fault!
371
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,035
Now, good luck and goodbye!
372
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,475
You can't run the place on your own.
373
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,517
I'll struggle on somehow.
374
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,991
No. I don't accept your apology.
375
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,515
Give it another 30 years.
And take this with you.
376
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,796
- Bernard.
- What?
377
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,554
- Do you want to come outside?
- I'm cold.
378
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,712
I have got chilblains, tinnitus and thrush!
379
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,394
If you want to fight, come inside.
380
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,109
(Maniacal giggling)
381
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,551
(Simian gibbering)
382
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,277
The noise. Th-th-th-th-the noise!
383
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,397
B-b-b-b-b-b-but found it.
384
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,552
Found it! I found it!
385
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,159
Manny, could you look after the shop
by yourself for a while?
386
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,436
- Sure.
- What are you going to do?
387
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,597
I am going on holiday.
29162
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