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1
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,508
Oh, there you are.
2
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,377
Baby, I was wonderin'
where you was.
3
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,612
Oh, what's the matter?
4
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,313
Tell pimp Billy faunz
everything.
5
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,182
Where were you?
Come on.
6
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,184
You gotta tell me.
Come on.
7
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,519
- Where were you?
8
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,054
You best be tellin' me,
9
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,555
because I hate
wasting courvoisier
10
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,357
almost as much
as I hate when bitches
11
00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,625
ain't give me my money.
12
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,562
You usin' my money
to shoot up and get high?
13
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,564
You better not, because I didn't
give you permission to get high.
14
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,733
I own that ass.
15
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,601
And I hope that
ass is hungry, baby,
16
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,304
'cause I'm gonna feed it
my dick.
17
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,753
Oh, my god.
18
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,899
Okay, Ronaldo,
19
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,433
just hold tight.
20
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,436
This will only take
about a few more hours.
21
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,772
I cannot wait to see
what my penis looks like
22
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,407
- through your eye.
- Well,
23
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,642
every time i draw one of these,
24
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,945
I see something
new and beautiful.
25
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:02,181
It is the only thing
that keeps me going.
26
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,349
That and obviously
27
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,852
the love for my child.
28
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,854
Hold on one sec.
Alister.
29
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,556
Alister,
30
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,857
can we deal with that?
31
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,927
I am so sorry.
Daddy duty calls.
32
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:18,263
Oh, please, don't apologize.
I understand.
33
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,932
You draw when you can,
34
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:21,934
and you father when you have to.
35
00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,635
Thank you so much
for understanding.
36
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,604
Alister is a lucky guy.
37
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,406
But if you ever
feel like jumping ship
38
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,408
and going for a ride
39
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,910
on the u.S.S. Ronaldo
fuck ship,
40
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,946
the ship that is my cock,
41
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:35,948
if you ever want to get away
and have sex time
42
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,450
in a maritime location...
43
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,785
Any of this making sense?
44
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,486
You're cute,
you're cute, very cute.
45
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,689
No, it doesn't make sense.
46
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,591
Never help me.
47
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,827
Well, I suspect
you know the way out.
48
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,763
It is the same
as where you came in from.
49
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,298
The door.
Remember the door?
50
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,967
Remember when you came in?
51
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:57,369
Oh, yes, the door.
Yeah, sorry.
52
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,538
- All right, see ya.
- 'Kay.
53
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:00,973
No, that's not
how we use a door.
54
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:02,441
- Oh, look.
- That is not...
55
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,576
It's like a
broken windshield wiper.
56
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,545
That is a... okay.
57
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,913
You are bad at using doors.
58
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,781
- Thank you so much.
- How'd I get here again?
59
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,550
I don't know, I'm not a spy,
60
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,884
but I assume you took the train.
61
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,286
Oh, you want your own train?
62
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:15,954
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
63
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,589
Alister.
64
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,292
Alister.
65
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,793
Alister, are you okay?
66
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,495
Alister, alister.
67
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,430
What... what... what...
What happened?
68
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,533
- Eddie's crying.
- Oh, oh, I know.
69
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:32,004
I was on my way to him
and I must have dozed off.
70
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:33,772
Yeah, because you have,
like, narcolepsy,
71
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,274
and you need to see a doctor,
72
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,908
because you're always
falling asleep.
73
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:40,279
Oh, Adam, it's not narcolepsy.
It's comfort.
74
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,282
Ever since that tragic
accident severed my spine,
75
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,450
I haven't been able
to use my legs.
76
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,785
Yeah, i know all of this.
77
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,654
I thought i would want to die.
78
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,989
And then I realized
just how comfortable it is.
79
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,692
It's like
I'm floating on clouds.
80
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,762
- It's just... sometimes I fall asleep.
- Yeah, I get it.
81
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,330
We all fall asleep.
Everything falls asleep, okay.
82
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,065
The problem is you fall asleep
83
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,067
when you're not supposed to fall
asleep, like in the daytime.
84
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,935
Alister, are you kidding me?
85
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,937
Okay, are you falling asleep
like this when I'm at work
86
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,472
and you're supposed to be
watching the baby?
87
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,341
No, I would never.
88
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,445
Except all the times that I do.
89
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,788
Come here, you.
Come here, you.
90
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,323
Come here, you.
91
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,824
Somebody woke up
on the wrong side
92
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,927
of the playpen thingy,
didn't they?
93
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,462
Come here.
Come here.
94
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,465
Are you hungry?
Are you hungry?
95
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,733
Okay, you want some fairy milk?
96
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,068
Yeah.
97
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,769
Slow down, Mr. diarrhea.
98
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,338
You're gonna have a stummy ache
99
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,872
if you keep drinkin' like that.
100
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,908
I think he wants you to tell
him his favorite story.
101
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,609
The one about
how I came to Los Angeles
102
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,478
alone and pregnant?
103
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,979
- He loves it.
- Right, well,
104
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,414
it all started a few years ago.
105
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:50,615
Hold on.
106
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,050
Tell it with the pictures.
107
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,419
Want the pictures?
All right.
108
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,821
All right,
you look at the pictures.
109
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,956
Okay, it all started
a few years ago
110
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,925
in quatsack, New Hampshire.
111
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,427
It was just going to be a
camping trip with some friends,
112
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:05,430
but then we were attacked
by a horrible cult
113
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,765
- that was sacrificing...
114
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,568
young frat men to a yeti.
115
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,803
- That was your other daddy, Eddie.
- That's right.
116
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,472
You see the yeti,
117
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,807
he was controlled by the cult
via magical spell.
118
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,676
He don't wanna do bad things.
119
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,545
He don't wanna hurt anyone,
he just wanted to be loved.
120
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,980
And, uh,
that's where I came in...
121
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,648
Hey, language.
122
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,951
Into the picture, alister.
123
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,586
- All right.
- I fell
124
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,855
madly in love with your
father right away.
125
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:33,825
Before I met him,
i was just an abusive,
126
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,160
homophobic asshole.
127
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:39,097
And your father, he, uh,
128
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,032
showed me my true self.
129
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,634
He showed me how to love.
130
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,137
This is, uh...
131
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:47,672
This is the hardest
part of the story, buddy.
132
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,175
Your father was shot...
133
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,843
Shot through the heart
134
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,045
by a fearless yeti hunter.
135
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,447
And, uh, even though
136
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,783
our relationship, it was short,
137
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,117
it was very physical,
138
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,086
and it was very passionate,
139
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,790
and I ended up like a lot
a girls... i was pregnant.
140
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:07,125
I was pregnant with you.
141
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,994
And you look just like...
142
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,863
- You look just like him.
- And then what happened?
143
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,765
Well, everyone else
was brutally murdered,
144
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,767
so your uncle dick and I,
145
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,737
we ended up moving out to Los
Angeles to start a new life,
146
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,539
and a local dumb cripple,
147
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,040
he helped up find an apartment,
148
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,575
and through him we met alister.
149
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:26,478
And uncle dick lives next door.
150
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,150
Oh, my god.
151
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,785
What's wrong?
152
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,054
It's not working.
You're terrible at this.
153
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,557
I've never had any
complaints before you.
154
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,793
I've never had a problem
finishing before you.
155
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,595
My last girlfriend
would do this...
156
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,497
Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't
just stick a machete
157
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:46,932
into my ho-ha
and yell,
158
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,733
"I'm your murdered
ex-girlfriend Debra!"
159
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,503
Can't or won't?
160
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,672
Why are we always fighting?
161
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:54,906
I don't know.
162
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,576
It's not you.
It's me.
163
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,478
Hey, don't be
so hard on yourself.
164
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,946
You're right, it is you.
165
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,482
-Hey. -No, sorry, you're right.
166
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,150
Uh, you, you were right
the first time,
167
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,153
not the second time.
It's me.
168
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,088
You know how I was betrayed.
169
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,624
What if I never
fully love again?
170
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,560
Are you saying
you don't fully love me now?
171
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,529
Your words, not mine.
172
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,064
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna take a walk.
173
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,599
So we're not gonna
talk about this.
174
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,933
You're just gonna run off.
175
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,802
I said walk.
I'm not gonna run.
176
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,737
Do you know how crazy that is?
177
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,973
- I'd be exhausted.
- You and your secrets.
178
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,774
What if I were to tell you
179
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:31,276
that there are things about me
that you don't know?
180
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,144
That's ridiculous.
181
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,880
You're a girl.
182
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,214
Girls don't have secrets.
183
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,583
Anyway, this is all...
184
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:41,987
About me right now.
185
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,724
Catch you on the flop side.
186
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,226
- It's flip side.
- Whatever.
187
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,695
Dick.
188
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,698
- Alister, watch his head.
- All right.
189
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,700
- Hey.
- Uncle dick.
190
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,036
- Hi, Eddie.
191
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,038
- What's up, guys?
- Uh, the, uh,
192
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,740
boys were just
walkin' me to work.
193
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,608
- You wanna join?
- Yeah, yeah.
194
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,943
I came over here to talk anyway.
195
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,645
Is everything okay?
196
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,980
No, dude, no.
197
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,750
Uh-oh.
Sounds guh-nar.
198
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,084
I just don't get it.
199
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:17,088
Amanda's pretty,
she's beautiful.
200
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,790
She's pretty.
201
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,125
Probably some other stuff too,
202
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,661
but something's just missing.
203
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:25,797
Is this about your evil dead
ex-girlfriend Debra?
204
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,133
I think about her all the time.
205
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,669
Like dying on the leaves
in front of me.
206
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,672
Machete inside of her,
207
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,173
the light leaving her eyes.
208
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:38,176
Ooh, what do we have here?
209
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,346
I'm gonna kidnap that yeti baby.
210
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,881
Do you know what it's like
211
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,216
to constantly be thinking about
212
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,651
the person you lost
213
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:49,588
- but love more?
- Of course I do.
214
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,756
It's kinda messed up,
but I haven't even
215
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,925
- had an orgasm in years.
- What?
216
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,927
That's fucking bonkers.
217
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,629
I barely can stop coming.
218
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,599
I just jizzed my pants,
like right now.
219
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:01,866
I've just never found
another woman
220
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,768
who can compare, i guess.
221
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,104
I am sure there is another
girl out there somewhere.
222
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,173
Like where?
223
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:14,779
Oh, my god.
224
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,781
- I gotta go.
- Wait, what?
225
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,650
We're literally
mid-conversation.
226
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:19,985
Can you believe this?
227
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,720
Alister.
Alister!
228
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,088
What? Are we there?
229
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,023
- Oh, I'm sorry. I must of...
- Dozed off.
230
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,025
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah, well,
231
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:30,362
color my Floyd pink,
because I am comfortably numb.
232
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,830
Shut up.
233
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,645
Can i... can I see
the doctor now, please?
234
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,648
For the last time, this ain't an
urgent care facility no more.
235
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,816
Okay, I'll... I'll wait.
236
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,218
If you're gonna bleed,
at least bleed
237
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,920
in room three, the blood room.
238
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:57,889
Excuse me,
239
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,091
- I'm looking for girl...
- Fuck,
240
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,094
if you're another
uptight midwestern father
241
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,264
whose little baby daughter
moved to the big city
242
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,799
with big dreams
243
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,301
but no money in her pocket,
244
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,303
then, yeah, she's probably here.
245
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,739
And she's probably
up on that sweet pole,
246
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,442
shakin' her sweet, sweet sliz
247
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,678
for some sweet,
sweet, sweet siz.
248
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,179
What?
249
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,715
"Siz" is my own
personal slang for cash.
250
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,217
Oh, um, all right, that's dumb,
251
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,420
- but...
- And "sliz" means "pussy."
252
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:31,056
But "pussy" means...
253
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,323
Nah.
254
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,025
Look, I don't have a daughter.
255
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,394
- I'm so sorry for your loss.
- No, no, no, no.
256
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,229
There's just...
There's a girl who like,
257
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,998
she came in here
like a minute ago...
258
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000
Oh, a girl who walked in
here like a minute ago.
259
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:45,737
That's angel snowflake.
She's in the Jack-off booths.
260
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,405
That's where girls
show off their...
261
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:51,276
Look, uh, thanks for the info.
262
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,011
Least I can do after what
happened to your daughter.
263
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,345
I don't have a daughter.
264
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,848
You've moved on.
I'm so proud of you.
265
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,017
What? Nah.
266
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,019
Alister, I need to know
that you can take care of Eddie
267
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,021
- while I'm at work.
- Adam, you worry too much.
268
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,123
- I do it all the time.
- I know,
269
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,459
- but he's all I have.
- We're all you have.
270
00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:09,327
I know what I said.
Do not forget to feed him.
271
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,029
- I know.
- And his wipes are?
272
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:14,766
In the cabinet I can reach.
Adam, relax.
273
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,267
- Nothing bad is gonna happen.
- I know.
274
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,269
I guess this is what
over-protective sounds like.
275
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,038
All those people
on the mommy blogs,
276
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,873
they are so right.
277
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,342
You've suffered so much loss.
It's only natural.
278
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,244
- You don't have to apologize.
- Thank you.
279
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,512
All right, well,
I'm gonna get to work
280
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,047
at that bookstore right there.
281
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,249
- So...
- It looks closed.
282
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,386
Yeah, that's because
i have to open it.
283
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:38,189
That's my job. I work at a
bookstore that I have to open.
284
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,024
How come we can't visit you?
285
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,360
It's not wheelchair accessible.
I don't know.
286
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,062
Whatever reason you need.
287
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,397
Okay, come here, baby.
288
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,933
Mommy's gotta go to work.
Okay, you be good.
289
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,269
You, do not forget you can't
feed him after midnight.
290
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,271
Just kiddin',
those are gremlins.
291
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,173
You.
292
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:58,510
Bye, mommy.
Eddie say, "bye, mommy."
293
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,545
Bye, mommy.
Bye, mommy.
294
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,514
Bye, mommy.
295
00:13:02,516 --> 00:13:04,382
- Bye, Eddie.
- Bye, mommy.
296
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,917
Bye, Eddie.
297
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,318
Bye, mommy.
298
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,121
- Bye, Eddie.
- Bye.
299
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,024
Bye, Eddie. Alister, get
the fuck out, bye, Eddie.
300
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,800
All right, asshole,
301
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,335
if you're gonna fuckin'
freebase in the bathroom,
302
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,404
you gotta share.
303
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:29,541
Here we go.
304
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,811
Here we go.
Here we go.
305
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,350
Still got it.
306
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,953
Hey, homeless John.
307
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,254
- How you doin'?
- Not so good.
308
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,956
I'm homeless.
309
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,324
And you?
310
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,194
Havin' the time
of my fuckin' life, man.
311
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,131
Every day just keeps
gettin' better.
312
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:02,841
Ah, it if isn't Adam.
313
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,108
The only person that brings joy
314
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,577
in my otherwise dark existence.
315
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:07,612
I didn't know
you were workin' tonight.
316
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,380
My baby won't feed itself
317
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,049
until it's older
and knows how to use
318
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,550
forks and knives, you idiot.
319
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,252
I respect
the hell out of the fact
320
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:17,155
that you are so
constantly unkind to me.
321
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,524
Now, you march yourself
up there and earn that baby
322
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:22,293
some sweet, sweet siz.
"Siz" is what I like to call...
323
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,430
Cash?
Yeah, I know.
324
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,432
Hah!
325
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,513
I...
326
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,515
Can't finish.
I can't finish.
327
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,350
I'm your murdered
ex-girlfriend Debra!
328
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,019
I'm your murdered
ex-girlfriend Debra!
329
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,320
I'm your murdered
ex-girlfriend Debra!
330
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,988
Oh, my god.
331
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,491
Boogity, boogity, boo,
sex piss comin' through.
332
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,960
Sorry, i shoulda
knocked, but I never do.
333
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,929
Anyway, let me clean up
all that slick jizz, bro.
334
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,964
You look familiar.
335
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,632
A lot a Jack-off jockeys
say that about me.
336
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,201
You know why? It's because
I'm always watching.
337
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:40,104
Always... skeleton key.
338
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,540
Oh, sorry, that's a tiny dildo.
339
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,208
Skeleton key.
340
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,044
This thing gets me
everywhere i wanna go
341
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,578
in this filthy little butthole,
and I love it.
342
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,415
- Okay.
- Hey, you look confused.
343
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,284
Let me show you around
this little slice a paradise.
344
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,724
- So that's the stripper stage.
- It's true.
345
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,726
It's a very tiny little penis.
346
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,528
It's a blessing
and a curse, you know.
347
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,129
Adam?
348
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,131
Uh, I would hate
to have your life.
349
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,499
- Thank you. You really mean that?
- I mean that, I do.
350
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,168
- Thank you so much.
- I would despise myself.
351
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,071
- Dick. -Why are you
dressed like this?
352
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,405
Aren't you supposed
to be at work?
353
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,274
I am at work.
354
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,609
Calling to the stage
little Willy wenis.
355
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:22,146
This tiny baby dick'll
do whatever you want
356
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,383
because... that's his job.
357
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:28,252
Excuse me, I've been
a bad whittle boy.
358
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,582
Hey.
359
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,351
Oh.
360
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,520
Nice moves back there.
You really yanked that crank.
361
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,488
- You could see me?
- Of course. Wait.
362
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,190
You think it was a two-way
mirror or something?
363
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,192
- Yeah.
- No.
364
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,794
- Eh.
- No reason to be ashamed.
365
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,596
I see a lot of dumpy weirdos
in my line a work.
366
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,465
It's nice to know I can still
make a cute guy come, too.
367
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,467
Thanks.
368
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:53,071
I just really wasn't
expecting anyone to see that.
369
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,572
And you were still that gentle.
370
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,240
You can tell a lot about a guy
371
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,076
by the way he jerks it
when no one's watching.
372
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,644
I can tell
that you're a nice person.
373
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:02,513
That you care about your mother.
374
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,583
And that you're a pisces
from quatsack, New Hampshire.
375
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,219
- Angel snowflake.
- I'm dick.
376
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,821
Nice...
Nice to meet you, angel.
377
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,355
Out of curiosity,
378
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,157
how did you know
i could only get off
379
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:15,159
if you called yourself
my murdered ex-girlfriend Debra
380
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:18,696
while lightly tapping your sliz
with a machete?
381
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,299
Oh, my old murdered
ex-girlfriend Debra routine?
382
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,301
I've been doing
that one for years.
383
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,736
But no one's ever liked it.
384
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,706
- Hmm?
- Until you.
385
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,118
Hey, there you are, you ran off.
386
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,120
You don't have to sit here and
talk to the whores, you know.
387
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,455
I'm really sorry.
She's not a whore.
388
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,756
That's a horrible thing to say.
389
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,358
I don't know why I'm like this.
390
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,627
- Come on, let's go.
- Nah, I'm good.
391
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,697
- Let's go.
- I... I'll... I'll see you.
392
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,565
- Come on.
- Ooh...
393
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,267
Sex piss.
394
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,269
I know that look.
395
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,738
That's the look
of a girl in Liz.
396
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,741
"Liz" is my cool
"slanguage" for love.
397
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,344
You're the worst.
398
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,346
Yeah, you're right.
399
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,615
Nobody likes me.
400
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,783
Or should I say us?
401
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,552
This is the vip lounge.
402
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,154
There's some real torrid shit
behind this curtain.
403
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,722
You're gonna like
what you see. Come on.
404
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:22,927
I'm a "firsty" "widdle" boy.
405
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,468
A lot a great rooms back here.
406
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,603
There's one for fisting.
There's one for fooding.
407
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,472
There's one for two guys dressed
like the president making out.
408
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,374
I don't care.
409
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:39,243
- Why are you showing me this?
- Because you're my friend.
410
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,245
Get a load of
this feast of crazy.
411
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,582
- Occupied.
- Actually, we just finished.
412
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,752
That's tom, tom,
and their aunt tom.
413
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,287
Tom's a denim daddy.
414
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,289
What is a denim daddy?
415
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,957
It's like a leather daddy,
only on a budget.
416
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,825
Get it, tom.
417
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:58,196
You were terrible this time.
418
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,564
Now this is where lumpy,
419
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,767
the world's most
forgetful snowman, lives.
420
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:07,638
Oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, golly,
where did I put my shoe?
421
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,974
Look.
I don't care.
422
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,211
I don't like you.
We're not friends.
423
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,545
I hate the things you love.
424
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,846
I don't care.
425
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,415
I don't need to be back here.
426
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,250
I don't give a shit.
I don't care.
427
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:22,253
- We're not friends.
- Well, you suit yourself.
428
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,721
Gonna miss the best part.
429
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,571
Eddie, did you
leave the door open
430
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,906
and or break the lock?
431
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,342
No, motherfucker, i did.
432
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,344
And tinaynay broke the lock.
433
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,546
Yeah, I hate locks.
434
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,880
What do you want?
435
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,450
I want what's in your lap.
436
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,784
Oh, I'm paralyzed
from the waist down.
437
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,386
It doesn't work anymore.
438
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,355
No, I want what's
on top of that.
439
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,890
You mean the little jacket
my grandmother made for my penis
440
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,526
- to keep it warm in the winter?
- No, you chromo.
441
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,629
That's what he calls
crippled homos.
442
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,497
He's a genius.
443
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,499
I want that "yebi."
444
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,501
And that's what
he calls baby yetis.
445
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,670
God damn he's so smart.
446
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,605
Suck on this, fool.
447
00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:19,677
A sandwich?
448
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,045
Wrong pocket.
449
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,614
Suck on this, fool.
450
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:28,719
Get the fuck off...
Get it off me!
451
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,728
You fuckin' motherfuckers
452
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,497
messed with the wrong
motherfucker.
453
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:43,301
I'm gonna make your top half
like your bottom half.
454
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:48,939
Holy shit! It really is tiny.
455
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:52,710
I didn't believe a penis
could be so small, but it is.
456
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:55,446
One more round of heckling for
little Willie wenis, please.
457
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:56,981
- Get outta here.
- -Boo.
458
00:21:56,983 --> 00:22:00,051
Thank you, guys.
Thank you, baby.
459
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,952
Thank you, guys.
460
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:04,355
I'll use these for my baby.
461
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,324
- Come on.
- What? No.
462
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,326
- We're outta here. -I've gotta
get the rest a my diapers.
463
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:09,660
- Ew.
- You're better than this.
464
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,495
No, I'm not.
465
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:13,497
I guess I always knew
466
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,700
you couldn't make that much
money working in a bookstore,
467
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,735
but guess
i just wanted to believe.
468
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,403
- Does alister know yet?
- I tried to tell him,
469
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,906
but he fell asleep again.
470
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,741
Besides,
i didn't try to tell him.
471
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:25,876
Guess you think
I'm a horrible person.
472
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,578
- Always have.
- Sorry, I completely zoned out.
473
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,113
I was walk-jizzing again.
What'd you say?
474
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,916
Always have... Thought you
were a horrible person.
475
00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:34,051
I guess that's
why we're friends.
476
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,687
I do not remember putting blood
all over this door.
477
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:43,361
I don't remember putting blood
around alister.
478
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:45,563
I definitely don't remember
taking the face
479
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,631
off that stranger.
480
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:48,966
Eddie?
481
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:51,502
Eddie?
482
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:52,937
My baby!
483
00:23:02,681 --> 00:23:04,014
He was only a toddler.
484
00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:07,718
I know.
That's why it's sad.
485
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,053
What happened?
486
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,988
My baby yeti Eddie
has been kidnapped,
487
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,557
and alister might go dead.
488
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,693
I'm so sorry.
My grandfather went dead.
489
00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:17,395
Is there anything i can do?
490
00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:19,397
Yeah, you could un-shoot
someone for once in your life.
491
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:20,865
Alister.
492
00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:22,566
Oh, my nose.
What happened?
493
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,835
I was in my wheelchair,
and then I fell asleep.
494
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:26,137
I had the strangest dream.
495
00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:29,140
Shh, shh, shh,
dreams aren't real.
496
00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:31,542
But what is real
is you've been shot.
497
00:23:31,544 --> 00:23:33,878
- Try not to get up so fast.
- Oh, he can't get up.
498
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,880
He's actually
a lazy bones wheelchair boy.
499
00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:37,848
Good, that's probably
for the best.
500
00:23:37,850 --> 00:23:39,483
That bullet almost killed him.
501
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:41,152
- I don't know how he's alive.
- Oh
502
00:23:41,154 --> 00:23:43,421
saved by my lucky frog tags.
503
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,756
- Do you mean dog tags?
- No, they're frog tags.
504
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,425
You know, in the summer,
505
00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:49,527
when you go down to the creek
to catch frogs.
506
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,429
You give 'em these tags,
507
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,763
and that way when you
come back the next year,
508
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,765
you know which ones
are your friends.
509
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,668
- This one was slipperyess.
- That's not a real thing.
510
00:23:57,670 --> 00:24:00,538
It is too a real thing.
My son loves frogs.
511
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:02,873
- Who the fuck is this guy?
- You'll have to excuse him.
512
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,141
He's a girl.
513
00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:05,976
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize.
514
00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,645
So, if you weren't shot,
515
00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:08,946
why is there blood everywhere?
516
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,049
Oh, I must've urinated.
517
00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,584
It's always that color.
518
00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:15,052
Oh, good,
wheelchair guy's alive.
519
00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:17,054
You tell me who did this to you?
520
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:18,456
Well, officer,
521
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:22,126
he had brown hair
and brown eyes.
522
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,994
- He could walk.
- We get it.
523
00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:25,863
- You're in a wheelchair.
- We try not to talk about it,
524
00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:28,732
- but we always do.
- I'm in a wheelchair.
525
00:24:28,734 --> 00:24:30,067
Not at the moment.
526
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:32,036
Anyways, to make
a long story short,
527
00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:35,172
he was almost a comically
pimp-looking fellow.
528
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,174
- Does that help at all?
- No, not at all.
529
00:24:37,176 --> 00:24:38,843
Our job here is done.
530
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,177
I'm gonna classify
this as mystery unsolved.
531
00:24:40,179 --> 00:24:41,846
- Boys, let's go.
- But...
532
00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,047
You're not even gonna
help us find my baby?
533
00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:44,748
Sir, I'm a police officer.
534
00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:46,750
I'm not a weird,
baby-finding man.
535
00:24:46,752 --> 00:24:48,819
So have a good night.
536
00:24:50,121 --> 00:24:52,990
Detective Bernie weekend,
late as always.
537
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,893
Officer wahlberg, do you ever get
sick of fucking your mother?
538
00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:58,762
No, I get sick when
i fuck your mother.
539
00:24:58,764 --> 00:25:00,097
Oh, but your mother's
still a good lay?
540
00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:01,799
Yeah, she's real nice.
541
00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:03,501
Good to know.
542
00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:05,202
Cop banter.
Ha ha ha ha!
543
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:07,204
I'm detective Bernie weekend.
544
00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:09,006
I understand someone close
to you's been abducted.
545
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:11,041
Yeah, my baby yeti, Eddie.
He's been kidnapped.
546
00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:13,077
Yeah, I betcha these guys
weren't much help, were they?
547
00:25:13,079 --> 00:25:14,712
That's exactly
what they weren't.
548
00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:16,780
Listen, I'm probably
not supposed to say this,
549
00:25:16,782 --> 00:25:18,549
but these guys
aren't gonna help ya,
550
00:25:18,551 --> 00:25:19,984
'cause these guys
are workin' with the enemy.
551
00:25:19,986 --> 00:25:21,519
That pimp
that was in here earlier,
552
00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,854
he runs this town,
controls the cops.
553
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:26,557
You can kinda think of it as a,
you know, cop mafia.
554
00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:29,093
That's a really helpful
way to think about it.
555
00:25:29,095 --> 00:25:32,263
Well, anyway, the cop mafia has
their fingers in a bunch of pies.
556
00:25:32,265 --> 00:25:35,266
- If you know what I mean.
- Gross.
557
00:25:35,268 --> 00:25:36,667
Didn't anybody else
just see him wink at me?
558
00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:38,102
- Shh.
- Shh.
559
00:25:38,104 --> 00:25:39,637
Why is everybody so mean to me
all the time?
560
00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:40,938
What the cop mafia
doesn't finger,
561
00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,273
the pimp fingers on his own.
562
00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:43,807
All of it.
563
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:46,143
Sex, drugs, whatever...
564
00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:47,945
Okay, okay,
this guy has my baby.
565
00:25:47,947 --> 00:25:49,580
- Where do we find this pimp?
- Pimp Billy?
566
00:25:49,582 --> 00:25:50,915
You don't find pimp Billy.
He finds you.
567
00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:53,617
Oh, damn, we were that close.
568
00:25:53,619 --> 00:25:56,053
There may be a non-person
that could help ya.
569
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:58,923
- Wait, a non-person.
- Like Linda?
570
00:25:58,925 --> 00:26:02,693
The pimp keeps this, uh,
yeti hooker on his payroll.
571
00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:05,629
Yeti hooker. Where would
we find this yeti hooker?
572
00:26:05,631 --> 00:26:07,698
Hangs out usually
down at Lexington and 36th.
573
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,033
Where's that?
574
00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:10,801
Lexington, 36th, intersection.
575
00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:12,970
It's where the down boys go.
576
00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:14,805
Definitely be
dangerous for you...
577
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:16,340
Cocksucker, you gonna
come join us at the bar,
578
00:26:16,342 --> 00:26:18,342
or you gonna stay here
and jerk off those victims?
579
00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:20,811
Cool off, mark.
I'll be right out...
580
00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:22,212
- Of the closet.
- Of the closet.
581
00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:24,582
Cop repartee.
582
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:26,584
Listen, I probably shouldn't
have said anything.
583
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:27,918
Cop mafia might kill me.
584
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,887
- Good luck.
- Wait.
585
00:26:29,889 --> 00:26:31,355
How do we know we can trust you?
586
00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:34,024
Because this isn't
a real mustache.
587
00:26:34,026 --> 00:26:36,060
Oh.
588
00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:38,028
Because I'm all you got.
589
00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:39,863
Oh.
590
00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,065
Because another reason.
591
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:42,633
Oh.
592
00:26:42,635 --> 00:26:43,968
Does anyone have 20 bucks?
593
00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:45,302
I keep losing all of my money.
594
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:47,037
No, get outta here.
595
00:26:47,039 --> 00:26:49,039
Let's go find my baby.
596
00:26:51,910 --> 00:26:53,243
Okay, okay.
597
00:26:54,913 --> 00:26:56,614
What the hell is their problem?
598
00:26:56,616 --> 00:26:57,948
Oh, you noticed, too.
599
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,350
They're being total assholes.
600
00:26:59,352 --> 00:27:01,218
Hey, Linda.
601
00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:07,224
Fuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuu.
602
00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:09,093
Why do you talk to her
like that?
603
00:27:09,095 --> 00:27:10,995
I don't know.
604
00:27:10,997 --> 00:27:12,730
Here's the plan.
605
00:27:12,732 --> 00:27:14,298
We go down town,
we find this yeti hooker.
606
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,634
Awesome.
607
00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:18,969
You know there's a great topless
place down there called "Manny's."
608
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:21,338
Perfect. So you know
how to get downtown.
609
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:25,743
I do. But you're
not gonna like it.
610
00:27:25,745 --> 00:27:27,411
Why am I not gonna like it?
611
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:31,181
That's not a...
What?
612
00:27:33,418 --> 00:27:35,285
There's no confusion there.
613
00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:37,121
I heard every word they said.
614
00:27:39,958 --> 00:27:43,694
Well, well, well,
isn't that all kinds a special.
615
00:27:43,696 --> 00:27:46,096
Too bads for them.
I already got what I want.
616
00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:49,266
Now, now, now, relax.
617
00:27:49,268 --> 00:27:51,802
This will only hurt
if you're a pussy.
618
00:27:53,439 --> 00:27:55,039
Such a brave little boy.
619
00:27:55,041 --> 00:27:56,740
It'll be over soon.
620
00:27:56,742 --> 00:28:00,077
Behind the trash can,
that is classic majassic.
621
00:28:00,079 --> 00:28:02,746
Now get the fuck off
my phone, I'm busy.
622
00:28:02,748 --> 00:28:05,449
Dr. lust, what's the
status on this situation?
623
00:28:05,451 --> 00:28:07,251
Blood has been drawn.
624
00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:09,420
- DNA mapping takes 12 hours.
- I don't want numbers!
625
00:28:09,422 --> 00:28:11,155
I wanna know if this
can be done tomorrow!
626
00:28:11,157 --> 00:28:12,856
I'm afraid that's not possible.
627
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:15,025
Oh, I'm sorry, Drake.
628
00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:16,894
Why is that not possible?
629
00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:18,228
Sir, with all due respect,
630
00:28:18,230 --> 00:28:19,997
you know Drake mandrake
631
00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:21,999
would never try to pull
the wool over your eyes.
632
00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:24,234
You and I have been friends
for some 20 years.
633
00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:26,103
Why, I took you in
when your mama Rosemary
634
00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:28,005
abandoned you as a child.
635
00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:30,174
And then later in life,
when I was down on my luck,
636
00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:33,310
you were kind enough to bring
me in to work in your sex lab.
637
00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:35,279
William, I'm a straight shooter,
638
00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:37,748
and what you're askin' us to do
639
00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:39,950
in the time frame
you're askin' us to do it,
640
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:41,351
is impossible.
641
00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:47,758
While I disagree
with your actions,
642
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,927
I do not question your motives.
643
00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:51,929
I'm truly sorry
for havin' failed you,
644
00:28:51,931 --> 00:28:53,997
but I'd be lying to both you
645
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:57,334
and to my own self if I was to
say tomorrow was a possibility.
646
00:28:59,370 --> 00:29:03,207
Today is truly my judgment day.
647
00:29:03,209 --> 00:29:06,343
I will give your mama
Rosemary your regards.
648
00:29:08,481 --> 00:29:11,148
Now where are we on gettin' this
situation handled by tomorrow?
649
00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:13,317
Ah, that's completely fine,
tomorrow works.
650
00:29:13,319 --> 00:29:14,451
I don't what he
was talking about.
651
00:29:14,453 --> 00:29:16,053
Good.
652
00:29:16,055 --> 00:29:18,388
Then let's get this
piece a shit cleaned up.
653
00:29:20,126 --> 00:29:21,859
It's kind of ridiculous
654
00:29:21,861 --> 00:29:23,427
havin' those things
next to each other.
655
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:24,962
Well, maybe you shouldn't
have 'em in every room.
656
00:29:24,964 --> 00:29:26,764
You're just asking for trouble.
657
00:29:26,766 --> 00:29:29,433
And who are you, my mother
Rosemary who abandoned me?
658
00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:30,968
Jeez.
659
00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:43,514
Dr. lust, i believe we
have a game of candyland
660
00:29:43,516 --> 00:29:46,517
-to attend to.
661
00:29:46,519 --> 00:29:49,853
Alpha-male move, dog,
i respect the shit outta ya.
662
00:29:49,855 --> 00:29:51,188
That guy.
663
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:54,391
See, I told you you'd be okay.
664
00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:57,795
I didn't sign up for
this sorta type of stuff.
665
00:29:57,797 --> 00:29:59,296
I just wanted to dance,
666
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,965
to pay my way through
vcr repair school.
667
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:03,333
So I could fix my vcr
668
00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:06,870
and watch all those
dance lesson tapes.
669
00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:10,874
Somewhere along the way,
i forgot who I was.
670
00:30:10,876 --> 00:30:12,976
Until I met, him.
671
00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:16,580
It's a security camera photo.
672
00:30:16,582 --> 00:30:19,183
It's the only thing he left
for me to remember him by.
673
00:30:19,185 --> 00:30:21,018
Not the only thing.
674
00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,386
Ah, sex piss.
675
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:30,427
Fool me twice, shame on me.
676
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:47,110
Yo, yo, yo.
677
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:49,446
If it ain't our favorite treesy.
678
00:30:49,448 --> 00:30:51,215
I was wonderin'
when you'd come around.
679
00:30:51,217 --> 00:30:55,586
Oh, you eyein' some
steeves you need, girl?
680
00:30:55,588 --> 00:30:57,187
- 100 bucks.
681
00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:58,856
Come on.
682
00:30:58,858 --> 00:31:01,425
Oh, I bet you tagged this green
683
00:31:01,427 --> 00:31:04,895
the hard way, huh?
684
00:31:04,897 --> 00:31:07,164
Go on. Go get it.
Yeah, go on down.
685
00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:10,267
Look at you bendin' over.
Just how I remember you.
686
00:31:10,269 --> 00:31:12,936
Yo, yo, burn, cuz.
687
00:31:12,938 --> 00:31:14,137
Full of 'em today.
688
00:31:14,139 --> 00:31:16,073
So what do you say, fur patch?
689
00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:18,041
How 'bout a freebie, huh?
690
00:31:18,043 --> 00:31:19,376
You know, sex-wise.
691
00:31:21,347 --> 00:31:23,547
All right,
you get your fix first,
692
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:26,250
and then we'll get
our fix, sex-wise.
693
00:31:26,252 --> 00:31:27,918
Yeah, sex-wise.
694
00:31:39,198 --> 00:31:42,065
Oh, no, no, no, no.
695
00:31:53,378 --> 00:31:56,580
Well, well, well,
what do we got here?
696
00:31:56,582 --> 00:32:00,284
Nice try, hero,
but not nice enough.
697
00:32:00,286 --> 00:32:02,619
You see, we came to
this alley to Jack off
698
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:04,254
on people who didn't want it.
699
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,590
We're the alley Jacks.
It's what we do.
700
00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,625
Yeah, we're disgusting.
We love it.
701
00:32:08,627 --> 00:32:11,161
But now it appears
that the hunter
702
00:32:11,163 --> 00:32:12,529
has become the jacked offer.
703
00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:14,998
- Alley Jacks!
- Yeah, boss.
704
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,100
Assemble, all over his face.
705
00:32:20,171 --> 00:32:21,505
I wish I could tell you
706
00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:24,041
that the yeti fought
the good fight
707
00:32:24,043 --> 00:32:26,710
and the alley Jacks let him be.
708
00:32:26,712 --> 00:32:28,245
I wish I could tell you that,
709
00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:32,049
but downtown
is no fairy tale world.
710
00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:34,551
Regardless of how good
the tapas are.
711
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:36,553
Gotta be around here somewhere.
712
00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:40,190
Yeah, this really is
a butthole of a neighborhood.
713
00:32:40,192 --> 00:32:42,192
I feel like they kinda
jinxed it when they
714
00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:44,461
called it the rape district.
715
00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:51,268
What the hell?
716
00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:53,036
He's all yours.
717
00:32:53,038 --> 00:32:54,438
We already did what we do.
718
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,974
- Hey, alley Jacks.
- Yeah, boss?
719
00:32:56,976 --> 00:32:58,976
- Let's go get some tapas.
- Oh, at Manny's?
720
00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:00,677
As if anyone would go
anywhere else.
721
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:03,013
Could you stop relating
to the alley Jacks?
722
00:33:03,015 --> 00:33:04,015
You scram.
723
00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:10,087
Oh, my god. What did those
perverts do to you?
724
00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:15,192
Your eyes.
725
00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:21,264
We should get outta here.
726
00:33:21,266 --> 00:33:23,767
Yeah, let's get you
cleaned up, buddy.
727
00:33:23,769 --> 00:33:26,770
Come on, we'll make
him nice and new.
728
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,641
I just saw everything.
729
00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:33,710
Now I know exactly
what it means.
730
00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:40,384
You poor thing.
They missed your mouth.
731
00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:49,693
Stupid tube yogurt.
I always miss.
732
00:33:49,695 --> 00:33:51,762
You look so peaceful
when you slumber.
733
00:33:51,764 --> 00:33:53,463
I can't help it.
734
00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:55,532
Being handicapped is literally
the most relaxing thing
735
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:57,401
that could happen to anyone.
736
00:33:57,403 --> 00:33:59,236
That must be why you're
always fallin' asleep.
737
00:33:59,238 --> 00:34:00,604
I'm always tryin'
to tell Adam that.
738
00:34:00,606 --> 00:34:02,439
He just doesn't understand.
739
00:34:02,441 --> 00:34:03,807
You know,
there's a lot of things
740
00:34:03,809 --> 00:34:05,442
that Adam doesn't understand.
741
00:34:05,444 --> 00:34:07,344
Please, you could write
a book on the things
742
00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:08,779
that dick doesn't get about me.
743
00:34:08,781 --> 00:34:10,247
Maybe I will.
744
00:34:10,249 --> 00:34:11,515
Really?
745
00:34:11,517 --> 00:34:13,750
Yeah, get me a laptop.
746
00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:21,324
All right, tell me something
that you hate about dick.
747
00:34:21,326 --> 00:34:22,659
Okay, well, for starters,
748
00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:24,361
I feel like
he never listens to me.
749
00:34:24,363 --> 00:34:27,164
Hmm, yeah, Adam never
listens to me either.
750
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:30,333
He says that when the yeti
died, his ears died, too.
751
00:34:30,335 --> 00:34:32,069
Okay how 'bout this.
752
00:34:32,071 --> 00:34:33,570
You say something that
you don't like about Adam,
753
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,172
and I'll say something
i don't like about dick.
754
00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:36,706
Really?
755
00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:38,575
Adam's never asked me
my opinion about anything.
756
00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,610
That's your first one.
Now it's my turn.
757
00:34:40,612 --> 00:34:43,213
So, dick spends way too
much time on the computer.
758
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,615
He's always trolling "huffington
post" and ignoring me.
759
00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:47,484
Yeah, Adam spends
way too much time
760
00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:49,820
drawing pictures of penises
of men who can walk.
761
00:34:49,822 --> 00:34:51,221
Dick's really dismissive
of my wants and needs.
762
00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:52,689
Tell me about it.
763
00:34:52,691 --> 00:34:54,324
Adam wouldn't go to
my mother's funeral
764
00:34:54,326 --> 00:34:56,493
because he said that
she didn't go to his.
765
00:34:56,495 --> 00:34:58,728
Dick is still in love
with his dead ex-girlfriend,
766
00:34:58,730 --> 00:35:00,497
who was in a cult, by the way.
767
00:35:00,499 --> 00:35:02,299
Adam's still in love
with his dead ex-boyfriend,
768
00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:05,535
who was a yeti, by the way.
769
00:35:05,537 --> 00:35:07,604
You know, you and i have a lot
more in common than I thought.
770
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:09,239
Yeah.
771
00:35:10,274 --> 00:35:11,608
There is one other thing.
772
00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:13,210
Something I've
never told anybody.
773
00:35:13,212 --> 00:35:15,879
You can tell me anything.
774
00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:19,583
It would better if I showed you.
775
00:35:19,585 --> 00:35:21,751
All right,
but don't take too long
776
00:35:21,753 --> 00:35:23,620
'cause I might fall...
777
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:26,623
Like most girls, i got
into wheelies as a tween.
778
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:29,459
But unlike most girls,
779
00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:30,894
I never grew out of it.
780
00:35:30,896 --> 00:35:32,596
Do you think I'm a freak?
781
00:35:32,598 --> 00:35:35,866
If you're a freak,
then I'm a wheelie.
782
00:35:38,537 --> 00:35:40,704
I'm sorry, I'm not
very good at this.
783
00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:42,405
I've never hit on
a woman before.
784
00:35:42,407 --> 00:35:44,508
- Have you ever hit a woman?
- Oh, god, no.
785
00:35:44,510 --> 00:35:47,644
I mean, with your mouth,
on her mouth.
786
00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:49,246
Useless.
787
00:35:49,248 --> 00:35:52,282
Why is this thing a best seller?
788
00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:54,317
Listen, I'm not good
at this either.
789
00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:55,652
Can we just make out?
790
00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:57,454
Okay.
791
00:35:57,456 --> 00:35:58,788
But can you come to me?
792
00:35:58,790 --> 00:36:00,657
I'm in a wheelchair.
793
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,692
And I love it.
794
00:36:07,265 --> 00:36:08,632
What are we doing?
795
00:36:08,634 --> 00:36:11,334
Making your tween dreams
come true.
796
00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:19,309
Oh, my god.
797
00:36:20,878 --> 00:36:22,512
'Cause the heart
of rock and roll,
798
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:25,882
the heart of rock and roll
is the beat, yeah.
799
00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:29,586
Oh, god damn it. I meant to
buy liquor and porno mags,
800
00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:31,788
but I got cantaloupes.
801
00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:33,924
Fuckin' Ambien.
802
00:36:33,926 --> 00:36:37,694
Ow, ow, bright light,
bright light, what?
803
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:38,962
Detective weekend,
looks like you have
804
00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:40,430
quite the party planned.
805
00:36:40,432 --> 00:36:41,831
What are you gonna
fuck this fruit?
806
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,934
You're the fuckin' fruit,
wahlberg.
807
00:36:43,936 --> 00:36:45,669
I don't have time for cop
banter right now, weekend.
808
00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:47,470
- What's going on?
- Why don't you tell me?
809
00:36:47,472 --> 00:36:49,472
Okay, I'll tell you
what's happenin'.
810
00:36:49,474 --> 00:36:51,374
You're a fuckin' prick,
wahlberg,
811
00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:52,742
and your mother,
812
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:55,278
ain't half the lay
you told me she was.
813
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,880
- Ow!
- Smart ass.
814
00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:58,381
- I followed your friends.
- Why, you couldn't find
815
00:36:58,383 --> 00:36:59,950
friends of your own to follow?
816
00:36:59,952 --> 00:37:02,385
You helped that fucking
queer who's trying
817
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:03,853
to fuckin' find his queer
fuckin' yeti baby.
818
00:37:03,855 --> 00:37:05,622
- Bullshit.
- Pimp Billy faunz
819
00:37:05,624 --> 00:37:07,490
is seriously startin' to
doubt your dedication
820
00:37:07,492 --> 00:37:08,992
- to cop mafia, okay?
- Oh.
821
00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:11,361
- And I can't say i blame him.
- Fuck you.
822
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:13,330
You cop mafia?
823
00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,598
- Aah!
- You cop mafia?
824
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,801
- Fuck you.
- You cop mafia?
825
00:37:17,803 --> 00:37:19,970
Yeah, I'm cop mafia.
826
00:37:19,972 --> 00:37:22,005
I'm cop mafia!
827
00:37:22,007 --> 00:37:25,342
Oh, come... I'm cop mafia.
I paid for these fruits.
828
00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:27,010
- You fuckin' cop mafia?
- Yes, I said... aah!
829
00:37:27,012 --> 00:37:29,579
- Say it again.
- Ah, I'm cop mafia.
830
00:37:30,616 --> 00:37:31,881
More louder.
831
00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:35,585
I'm cop mafia.
I'm cop mafia!
832
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:38,655
Good, okay, and don't
you fuckin' forget it.
833
00:37:40,325 --> 00:37:41,758
For your cantaloupe.
834
00:37:43,996 --> 00:37:46,263
Which one of your legs
is the most paralyzed?
835
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:47,964
This one.
836
00:37:47,966 --> 00:37:50,533
Put it inside me.
837
00:37:53,371 --> 00:37:55,338
Put him up again.
838
00:37:55,340 --> 00:37:56,873
Watch your head,
watch your head.
839
00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,342
We're basically there, okay.
840
00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:01,645
Here we go, into bed you go.
841
00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:03,013
Go to bed.
842
00:38:03,015 --> 00:38:04,648
Shh, you just need
to relax, okay?
843
00:38:05,984 --> 00:38:07,884
Good boy, you're gonna be okay.
844
00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:09,452
You can stay here tonight,
845
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:11,454
but I have
a reservation coming in,
846
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:14,357
- so you have to be gone before noon.
- That's no problem.
847
00:38:14,359 --> 00:38:17,560
Thank you so much, Ronaldo.
This is a huge help.
848
00:38:17,562 --> 00:38:18,828
Not at all, my friend.
849
00:38:18,830 --> 00:38:20,730
If everything you said is true,
850
00:38:20,732 --> 00:38:22,532
it's the least I can do.
851
00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:24,834
At least let me repay you.
852
00:38:24,836 --> 00:38:25,969
- Oh.
853
00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:27,937
All aboard the fuck ship.
854
00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:30,674
I was thinking more along
the lines of a free portrait,
855
00:38:30,676 --> 00:38:33,777
but always great
to see your penis.
856
00:38:33,779 --> 00:38:36,579
I had to try.
857
00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:37,947
Godspeed, bye.
858
00:38:37,949 --> 00:38:39,416
Thanks babe.
859
00:38:39,418 --> 00:38:40,950
He's incorrigible.
860
00:38:40,952 --> 00:38:42,652
How did you get
us a night for free
861
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:44,521
at the nicest hotel in la?
862
00:38:44,523 --> 00:38:47,557
Well, Ronaldo there,
he's actually the manager.
863
00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:50,427
And I draw his dick, so...
864
00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:53,563
Oh, that's what that is on
the walls of your place.
865
00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:55,565
I always just thought
you sucked at drawing snakes.
866
00:38:55,567 --> 00:38:57,600
- What? -Well, you're actually
a pretty good artist.
867
00:38:57,602 --> 00:38:59,536
Hopefully I'm equally
as good as detoxing
868
00:38:59,538 --> 00:39:01,471
junked out yeti whores.
869
00:39:01,473 --> 00:39:02,872
- Ugh.
- What? What's wrong?
870
00:39:02,874 --> 00:39:04,841
It's a cummy matchbook.
871
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,609
From the sexy dance club.
872
00:39:06,611 --> 00:39:09,012
The sexy dance club,
that's where I met that girl.
873
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:11,014
Maybe somebody there
can tell us about the pimp.
874
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:12,982
I don't know, I mean,
i worked there for a while,
875
00:39:12,984 --> 00:39:15,652
and I don't remember hearing
anything about any pimp.
876
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:17,087
Yeah, but I should
probably go talk to her.
877
00:39:17,089 --> 00:39:18,688
What, why?
878
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:19,989
Eh, gotta do somethin'.
879
00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:22,659
Right now, but, we got
880
00:39:22,661 --> 00:39:24,127
the yeti.
881
00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,465
Please make it through
the night, my love.
882
00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:33,603
I just said it.
I said that.
883
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:11,775
No, no.
884
00:40:11,777 --> 00:40:14,978
Look out. Behind you.
Look out!
885
00:40:14,980 --> 00:40:17,647
Oh, my god.
886
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,888
Oh, god!
887
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,795
Stop it, I need your help.
888
00:41:19,177 --> 00:41:21,911
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...
889
00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:28,651
- Calm down.
890
00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:29,853
- Calm...
891
00:41:29,855 --> 00:41:31,154
Down.
892
00:41:31,156 --> 00:41:32,689
Don't be a bitch.
893
00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:34,624
- Calm the fuck down.
894
00:41:34,626 --> 00:41:37,026
Calm down, you little yeti.
You pussy.
895
00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:38,962
This is supposed to help
with detoxing, okay?
896
00:41:38,964 --> 00:41:40,897
- This is a cold rag.
897
00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:44,067
This is gonna help
with your detox from heroin.
898
00:41:44,069 --> 00:41:46,102
Stop doing that.
899
00:41:46,104 --> 00:41:49,038
Those noises
are for dead people.
900
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,941
Cough it out, but stop because
nobody likes it when you do that.
901
00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:58,982
Here you go.
902
00:41:58,984 --> 00:42:01,251
It's hot water
with a tea bag in it.
903
00:42:01,253 --> 00:42:03,086
It's good for you.
904
00:42:04,623 --> 00:42:07,023
Yeah, tea bag, I get it.
You're awful.
905
00:42:08,260 --> 00:42:09,926
That was quite
a night last night.
906
00:42:09,928 --> 00:42:12,028
You were touch and go
for a while there, but...
907
00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:13,897
I'm glad you made it through.
908
00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:15,632
You know, it's funny,
909
00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,767
I've been taking care
of my boyfriend, alister,
910
00:42:17,769 --> 00:42:20,670
for so long now, it's starting
to feel like a burden,
911
00:42:20,672 --> 00:42:23,573
but, with you, it's different.
912
00:42:23,575 --> 00:42:25,174
It's like you needed me.
913
00:42:25,176 --> 00:42:28,845
With him I felt like
i was his Butler.
914
00:42:28,847 --> 00:42:31,814
But with you, I feel
like I'm your life raft.
915
00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:33,216
- Does that make any sense?
916
00:42:33,218 --> 00:42:36,719
Sorry, I've never
been good with words.
917
00:42:36,721 --> 00:42:38,087
I don't know, it's like,
918
00:42:38,089 --> 00:42:40,957
you know how someone
can be perfect on paper,
919
00:42:40,959 --> 00:42:43,192
but not clicking?
920
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:46,262
It's like with alister,
he is perfect on paper.
921
00:42:46,264 --> 00:42:48,998
He's a crippled guy, can't walk,
922
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,301
is always fallin' asleep.
923
00:42:51,303 --> 00:42:53,570
We have very little in common.
924
00:42:53,572 --> 00:42:56,973
But for some reason
it's not enough.
925
00:42:56,975 --> 00:42:59,876
I don't know, it's like
that magical feeling,
926
00:42:59,878 --> 00:43:01,277
it's not there.
927
00:43:03,948 --> 00:43:06,950
You know, I gotta
tell you something.
928
00:43:06,952 --> 00:43:10,687
I have never felt
this way a second time before.
929
00:43:10,689 --> 00:43:13,957
I'm feeling
first feelings again.
930
00:43:13,959 --> 00:43:16,225
You know, you remind
me of someone.
931
00:43:16,227 --> 00:43:18,761
Yeah, he was a yeti.
932
00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:20,930
And he was the only man
i ever loved.
933
00:43:22,866 --> 00:43:26,002
Wow, oh, okay.
934
00:43:26,004 --> 00:43:28,171
That is magnificent.
935
00:43:29,741 --> 00:43:31,341
No, do not be so modest.
936
00:43:31,343 --> 00:43:33,142
That thing is perfect.
937
00:43:33,144 --> 00:43:34,744
I must draw it.
938
00:43:34,746 --> 00:43:36,813
It's what I do, I'm an artist.
939
00:43:36,815 --> 00:43:39,749
And that...
940
00:43:39,751 --> 00:43:41,184
That will be my masterpiece.
941
00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:33,202
This is it.
942
00:44:33,204 --> 00:44:35,805
This is all I've ever wanted.
943
00:44:35,807 --> 00:44:40,143
Yeah, you're really
doin' it now, sex piss.
944
00:44:40,145 --> 00:44:42,345
I know.
945
00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:45,314
I wish I could see
me through your eyes.
946
00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:48,985
You need to cut
your nails, dude.
947
00:44:48,987 --> 00:44:51,320
Oh, my god.
948
00:44:51,322 --> 00:44:53,690
It's perfect.
949
00:44:53,692 --> 00:44:55,291
- It's you.
950
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:57,994
This is the drawing
I'm gonna be known for
951
00:44:57,996 --> 00:44:59,429
when I pass away.
952
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,335
Now it's complete.
953
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:15,144
You don't have HIV
or anything, do you?
954
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:17,980
You know what? It's okay.
955
00:45:17,982 --> 00:45:20,717
It's not a death
sentence anymore.
956
00:45:34,865 --> 00:45:37,867
Yeah, yeah.
957
00:45:41,438 --> 00:45:43,439
- You wanna switch?
- Uh-huh.
958
00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:44,941
All right, let's switch.
959
00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:51,481
This is where god lives.
960
00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:06,829
Oh, , mmm.
961
00:46:10,235 --> 00:46:12,435
- Is that a yeti?
- Mm-hmm.
962
00:46:12,437 --> 00:46:14,303
We are not staying here.
963
00:46:28,318 --> 00:46:31,821
Oh, yeah, not just
for the ladies.
964
00:46:37,895 --> 00:46:39,295
I'm gonna squirt.
965
00:46:39,297 --> 00:46:40,897
Oh, no, I'm gonna squirt.
966
00:46:42,901 --> 00:46:45,468
Oh, my god.
967
00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:54,210
Oh, shit. What the fuck?
968
00:46:54,212 --> 00:46:56,045
Are you okay?
969
00:46:56,047 --> 00:46:57,313
Do you know what
i like about you, tinaynay?
970
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:58,548
- No, what?
- I don't know.
971
00:46:58,550 --> 00:46:59,916
I'm so fucking high, i forgot.
972
00:46:59,918 --> 00:47:01,851
What the fuck is this shit?
973
00:47:01,853 --> 00:47:03,986
Hi, sex piss.
Hi, tinaynay.
974
00:47:03,988 --> 00:47:05,855
Tinaynay, would you mind
putting on a shirt
975
00:47:05,857 --> 00:47:07,323
- around baby Eddie?
976
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,192
Yeah, fine, okay.
977
00:47:12,229 --> 00:47:15,998
God damn it, sex piss, you can't just
go smoking crack around baby Eddie.
978
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,266
You're not my p.O. You
can't tell me what to do.
979
00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:19,335
You done ruinin' our high?
980
00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:21,604
Why don't you get the fuck outta here?
We got a reservation.
981
00:47:21,606 --> 00:47:23,840
- What? -We got a
fuckin' reservation.
982
00:47:23,842 --> 00:47:25,374
Check it out with
your eyes, dumb-dumb.
983
00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,176
Jesus. Fine.
984
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:29,545
I'll go take care of this
baby yeti somewhere else.
985
00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:31,280
You know, I hate to see you go,
986
00:47:31,282 --> 00:47:33,082
but I like lookin'
at your butt when you leave.
987
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:35,318
- Fuck you, sex piss.
988
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:36,619
I still got it.
989
00:47:36,621 --> 00:47:38,855
Damn, sex piss,
you got a mean streak.
990
00:47:38,857 --> 00:47:41,524
Yeah, but drug addicts,
in general, are pretty awful.
991
00:47:43,594 --> 00:47:45,895
You know, I don't really know
anything about you.
992
00:47:45,897 --> 00:47:48,264
Tell me your story, sex piss.
993
00:47:48,266 --> 00:47:50,633
Well, I was literally
raised by literal dogs,
994
00:47:50,635 --> 00:47:52,535
but I didn't agree
with their strict parenting,
995
00:47:52,537 --> 00:47:54,237
so I ran away, and moved in
996
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:55,605
with another set of dogs.
997
00:47:55,607 --> 00:47:57,206
Well, then my foster dad
got heartworm
998
00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:00,109
and had to be put down,
so I ran away again.
999
00:48:00,111 --> 00:48:02,245
I lived off dumpster slime
and seagull meat.
1000
00:48:02,247 --> 00:48:04,380
It was the best time of my life.
1001
00:48:04,382 --> 00:48:06,349
Till I came here
to the sexy dance club.
1002
00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:10,953
Holy shit.
I too was raised by dogs.
1003
00:48:10,955 --> 00:48:13,389
Then my brother
ran away from home.
1004
00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:15,391
So I went lookin' for him.
1005
00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:16,993
I had to do a lotta awful stuff
1006
00:48:16,995 --> 00:48:18,928
to survive on the streets.
1007
00:48:18,930 --> 00:48:23,466
Then I heard he had gone
to L.A., so I came here.
1008
00:48:23,468 --> 00:48:27,503
Holy shit, sex piss,
you're my brother.
1009
00:48:28,505 --> 00:48:30,573
Oh, my god, sex...
1010
00:48:33,610 --> 00:48:37,380
Tinaynay, your story
was boring, so I left.
1011
00:48:37,382 --> 00:48:39,682
Sex piss, brother to no one.
1012
00:48:41,351 --> 00:48:43,986
- What ya thinkin'?
1013
00:48:43,988 --> 00:48:47,390
I'm just kidding,
i hate clingy bitches, too.
1014
00:48:47,392 --> 00:48:49,225
You're such a great person.
1015
00:48:50,595 --> 00:48:53,229
Hey, we've all done things
we regret, okay?
1016
00:48:53,231 --> 00:48:55,531
I know how it goes,
you make one mistake,
1017
00:48:55,533 --> 00:48:58,100
it snowballs,
and before you know it...
1018
00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:00,703
Exactly.
1019
00:49:00,705 --> 00:49:03,105
God, you have
the heart of a poet.
1020
00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:07,510
You are hilario.
1021
00:49:07,512 --> 00:49:10,079
Do you do an improv?
1022
00:49:10,081 --> 00:49:11,948
Seriously, no,
you're very funny.
1023
00:49:13,985 --> 00:49:15,952
Oh, yeah, I guess you gotta
have a sense of humor
1024
00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:17,286
once you hit rock bottom.
1025
00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,555
Is that when you met
pimp Billy faunz?
1026
00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:22,425
And he kept you all strung out
1027
00:49:22,427 --> 00:49:23,626
on smack and come.
1028
00:49:26,564 --> 00:49:28,698
You don't think that's gonna
happen to Eddie, do you?
1029
00:49:30,201 --> 00:49:32,401
- I've gotta stop him.
1030
00:49:32,403 --> 00:49:35,104
You know, dick's
been gone awhile.
1031
00:49:35,106 --> 00:49:36,539
He went to the sexy dance club.
1032
00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:40,409
You don't think anything
bad happened to him, do you?
1033
00:49:40,411 --> 00:49:42,678
Well, then we've gotta
get over there.
1034
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:44,447
We've gotta save my baby.
1035
00:49:44,449 --> 00:49:46,082
And dick.
1036
00:49:46,084 --> 00:49:48,184
But we're gonna need
some serious fire power.
1037
00:49:50,487 --> 00:49:53,055
Adam, my bro
from a capitalist hoe.
1038
00:49:53,057 --> 00:49:55,057
- How are you, uh?
- Ah, Vladimir, I'm all right.
1039
00:49:55,059 --> 00:49:57,093
- How are you?
- I'm good, man.
1040
00:49:57,095 --> 00:49:58,761
Listen, why you only call me
when you need something, huh?
1041
00:49:58,763 --> 00:50:00,596
Why don't you call
me just to talk, you know?
1042
00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:03,265
Well, you are an underground
gun dealer that I met
1043
00:50:03,267 --> 00:50:07,436
one time outside of the eagle,
and we're not real friends.
1044
00:50:07,438 --> 00:50:09,772
Not real friends? Me and you.
We're not real friends?
1045
00:50:09,774 --> 00:50:12,274
How do you explain
to me this then, huh?
1046
00:50:14,011 --> 00:50:15,611
Okay, see, this
is obviously photoshopped.
1047
00:50:15,613 --> 00:50:17,279
No, no, that's not.
1048
00:50:17,281 --> 00:50:18,748
That's me and you at a bar.
We're having...
1049
00:50:18,750 --> 00:50:20,583
- No, that's my head.
- -Yes.
1050
00:50:20,585 --> 00:50:22,485
- From a wedding. -And me.
What wedding?
1051
00:50:22,487 --> 00:50:24,553
My head is sideways,
and my body is...
1052
00:50:24,555 --> 00:50:26,655
You were snowboarding, you fell.
That was an injury.
1053
00:50:26,657 --> 00:50:28,524
Listen, I'm here for your guns.
1054
00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:30,760
God damn it. Everyone's always
here for my fucking guns.
1055
00:50:30,762 --> 00:50:33,596
You want the fucking guns?
Fine, have some fucking guns,
1056
00:50:33,598 --> 00:50:35,398
huh?
1057
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,333
Ooh, I like this one.
1058
00:50:37,335 --> 00:50:38,501
Yeah, that's a good one.
1059
00:50:38,503 --> 00:50:39,735
It's an assault weapon.
1060
00:50:39,737 --> 00:50:41,737
That's a good one.
1061
00:50:41,739 --> 00:50:44,507
I can't believe he wanted to
charge us more for the suitcase.
1062
00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:47,777
Not on my watch.
1063
00:50:47,779 --> 00:50:50,446
Now, what do you say
we go get my favorite bullet?
1064
00:50:50,448 --> 00:50:53,516
All right, come here.
1065
00:50:53,518 --> 00:50:55,418
- You're gonna love
this bullet. It's like...
1066
00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:57,319
I'm sorry, sir.
1067
00:50:57,321 --> 00:50:59,388
You're never gonna
be able to walk again.
1068
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:02,224
Oh, god, say it again.
1069
00:51:02,226 --> 00:51:05,628
Slower.
1070
00:51:05,630 --> 00:51:10,566
- I'm sorry...
- Oh, my god.
1071
00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:11,734
What the dick?
1072
00:51:11,736 --> 00:51:13,803
Adam, what are you doing home?
1073
00:51:13,805 --> 00:51:16,272
I just came back
to get my favorite bullet.
1074
00:51:16,274 --> 00:51:19,108
I'm sorry. This isn't
what it looks like.
1075
00:51:19,110 --> 00:51:21,510
She's not a real surgeon.
It's Linda.
1076
00:51:21,512 --> 00:51:24,580
I'm cheating on you with Linda.
1077
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:27,316
He's got a point.
1078
00:51:27,318 --> 00:51:29,318
You and I, we're not
meant to be together.
1079
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,153
You should be happy.
1080
00:51:31,155 --> 00:51:33,122
I wish you guys the best of
luck, whatever that means.
1081
00:51:33,124 --> 00:51:35,524
- What are you gonna do?
- I've got my guns,
1082
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,226
now I'm gonna get my sons.
1083
00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:40,229
I mean my son.
I only have one son.
1084
00:51:40,231 --> 00:51:43,566
Oh, by the way,
i might have HIV.
1085
00:51:45,702 --> 00:51:49,438
Hey, hey, psst.
Are you awake?
1086
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,573
Hey, we gotta get outta here.
1087
00:51:50,575 --> 00:51:52,341
What's your name?
1088
00:51:52,343 --> 00:51:53,943
My name's dick.
It's short for dickshard.
1089
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,547
Are you moaning
because we're friends now?
1090
00:52:00,384 --> 00:52:02,384
Ugh, what's goin' on in there?
1091
00:52:05,389 --> 00:52:07,356
No, no, don't be like that.
1092
00:52:07,358 --> 00:52:08,791
Look, I've got more questions.
1093
00:52:08,793 --> 00:52:10,226
If I offended you somehow,
1094
00:52:10,228 --> 00:52:12,595
I apologize, but also, grow up.
1095
00:52:21,338 --> 00:52:23,339
What the fuck?
1096
00:52:31,214 --> 00:52:33,149
Everything's on schedule.
1097
00:52:33,151 --> 00:52:36,385
Actually, some things
are ahead of schedule.
1098
00:52:36,387 --> 00:52:38,521
Hey, pimp Billy,
this one's a wonky one.
1099
00:52:38,523 --> 00:52:39,788
Can I keep it, please?
1100
00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:41,257
I won't use it
for sandwich meat.
1101
00:52:41,259 --> 00:52:42,725
I promise I'm not lying, please?
1102
00:52:42,727 --> 00:52:45,327
No, I just got you that
goddamn new fetus shredder.
1103
00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:46,662
Use the fuckin' thing.
1104
00:52:46,664 --> 00:52:49,498
- Come on.
- Get. Get.
1105
00:52:54,738 --> 00:52:56,906
Jesus Christ, that thing
almost took my finger off.
1106
00:52:56,908 --> 00:52:59,275
And I need my fingers.
1107
00:52:59,277 --> 00:53:00,309
Ugh.
1108
00:53:00,311 --> 00:53:02,444
You're all fucking crazy.
1109
00:53:02,446 --> 00:53:03,779
You'll never get away with this.
1110
00:53:03,781 --> 00:53:05,481
Motherfucker,
i always get away with it.
1111
00:53:05,483 --> 00:53:08,350
I got this whole town
wrapped around my dick,
1112
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:10,452
and I like the way it feels.
1113
00:53:10,454 --> 00:53:12,521
His body's almost
ready to be impregnated.
1114
00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:15,691
Angel darling, bring me my yeti.
1115
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:18,727
- Wait, what? What are you doing?
- Science, motherfucker.
1116
00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:20,596
Turns out your little
butt-buddy Adam
1117
00:53:20,598 --> 00:53:21,964
had somethin' that I wanted.
1118
00:53:21,966 --> 00:53:23,599
While yetis are highly desirable
1119
00:53:23,601 --> 00:53:25,201
and highly recognizable,
1120
00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:28,204
they're also extremely
hypnotizable.
1121
00:53:28,206 --> 00:53:29,838
Naturally, being
the horrible person I am,
1122
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,307
I asked myself, "pimp Billy",
1123
00:53:31,309 --> 00:53:32,808
what can you do
with this information?"
1124
00:53:32,810 --> 00:53:36,946
To which I said, "oh, I know,
i can make an evil army"
1125
00:53:36,948 --> 00:53:38,747
of yetis to serve me."
1126
00:53:38,749 --> 00:53:40,683
It'd be like my Vietnam.
1127
00:53:40,685 --> 00:53:42,318
But here's the problem.
1128
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,587
Yetis are very rare,
and even harder to breed.
1129
00:53:44,589 --> 00:53:47,923
Luckily Dr. lust is a genius
in the ways of cloning,
1130
00:53:47,925 --> 00:53:51,427
and also has very low
scruples and no moral values.
1131
00:53:51,429 --> 00:53:53,796
That yeti hooker
you found, my yeti hooker,
1132
00:53:53,798 --> 00:53:55,798
that was just the beginning.
1133
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:58,734
Well, the beginning, actually, was
those sex piss clones we made,
1134
00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:00,236
but those guys just hang out.
1135
00:54:00,238 --> 00:54:01,971
- Can't get mad at that.
- And I don't.
1136
00:54:01,973 --> 00:54:04,940
See, the problem was, with
only one yeti, our gene pool,
1137
00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:07,476
and kiddie pool,
was regrettably low,
1138
00:54:07,478 --> 00:54:09,979
leading to a series
of tarded up mo-mo bags.
1139
00:54:09,981 --> 00:54:11,614
Like a copy of a copy of a yeti.
1140
00:54:11,616 --> 00:54:14,316
It went tits up.
I needed one more source.
1141
00:54:14,318 --> 00:54:15,618
I needed another yeti.
1142
00:54:15,620 --> 00:54:17,386
Lucky for me, i found one.
1143
00:54:17,388 --> 00:54:19,255
Don't worry, Eddie,
we'll get you outta here.
1144
00:54:19,257 --> 00:54:21,257
Stop givin' that baby
false hope.
1145
00:54:21,259 --> 00:54:23,826
Now get him outta here. I was
only using him for a prop.
1146
00:54:23,828 --> 00:54:25,494
Ow!
1147
00:54:25,496 --> 00:54:26,562
Aah!
1148
00:54:26,564 --> 00:54:28,030
Oh, there you go.
1149
00:54:28,032 --> 00:54:29,598
How you doin' there, boo?
1150
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,433
You got an egg inside you now.
1151
00:54:31,435 --> 00:54:33,702
You're gonna be a mama, daddy.
1152
00:54:33,704 --> 00:54:35,037
What?
1153
00:54:35,039 --> 00:54:38,440
Shh, it's like
my mama Rosemary told me,
1154
00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:39,908
suffer in silence.
1155
00:54:39,910 --> 00:54:41,744
Hey, pbf, you should
take a look at this.
1156
00:54:41,746 --> 00:54:43,312
I think we got company.
1157
00:54:44,614 --> 00:54:46,448
There it is.
1158
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,884
Anything I should know goin' in?
1159
00:54:48,886 --> 00:54:50,686
All right, so what
you're sayin' is,
1160
00:54:50,688 --> 00:54:52,521
after we get through
the strip club,
1161
00:54:52,523 --> 00:54:54,556
go to the vip lounge filled
with sexually depraved maniacs
1162
00:54:54,558 --> 00:54:56,525
and perverts, and after that,
1163
00:54:56,527 --> 00:54:58,694
Eddie should be in either the
laboratory, harvesting chamber,
1164
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:00,929
or pimp Billy faunz's
office. Got it.
1165
00:55:00,931 --> 00:55:03,299
What the? How did
those assholes get on TV?
1166
00:55:03,301 --> 00:55:04,667
I'm supposed to be the star.
1167
00:55:04,669 --> 00:55:06,001
It's a security camera feed.
1168
00:55:06,003 --> 00:55:07,736
You can go outside
if you wanna be on it.
1169
00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:09,705
I'm not goin' out there.
They've got guns.
1170
00:55:09,707 --> 00:55:12,374
Sir, like, is there
a camera crew following them?
1171
00:55:12,376 --> 00:55:15,911
Hey, come here.
1172
00:55:15,913 --> 00:55:17,346
Mmm.
1173
00:55:18,548 --> 00:55:20,549
You know,
after this is all over,
1174
00:55:20,551 --> 00:55:21,717
I'll have Eddie back
1175
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,486
and we can be a family.
1176
00:55:27,792 --> 00:55:29,825
We can talk about it later.
1177
00:55:31,429 --> 00:55:34,863
Really, you love me?
1178
00:55:39,602 --> 00:55:41,103
What the hell
are you trying to say?
1179
00:55:44,108 --> 00:55:46,975
- Ah, come on,
it wasn't that bad.
1180
00:55:46,977 --> 00:55:48,777
Seriously, I'm not
patronizing you. It wasn't.
1181
00:56:02,892 --> 00:56:05,594
Oh, my god.
1182
00:56:05,596 --> 00:56:08,063
And remember, boys,
if you hit a stripper
1183
00:56:08,065 --> 00:56:11,467
in the eye with a hot wing,
you get a free calendar.
1184
00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:26,582
Hold the phone.
Is that little Willie wenis?
1185
00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:29,551
I'll show you a little wenis.
1186
00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:33,822
Ah, I could've thought
of something better to say.
1187
00:56:46,903 --> 00:56:49,505
You stupid motherfuckers!
1188
00:56:49,507 --> 00:56:52,975
Take my baby,
now you take my bullets.
1189
00:56:52,977 --> 00:56:57,813
You stupid idiots.
You dumb pussies.
1190
00:56:57,815 --> 00:57:00,115
Eat my fuckin' bullets,
1191
00:57:00,117 --> 00:57:02,885
you perverted motherfuckers!
1192
00:57:04,521 --> 00:57:06,889
You guys
are really good at guns.
1193
00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:12,828
Not as good as these chicken
wings, though. Eh, you're busy.
1194
00:57:12,830 --> 00:57:15,831
Well, now I can drain
my pasta in you!
1195
00:57:15,833 --> 00:57:18,834
You have robbed me
of my only love,
1196
00:57:18,836 --> 00:57:22,137
and now I rob you
of functional organs
1197
00:57:22,139 --> 00:57:23,639
and functional life.
1198
00:57:23,641 --> 00:57:25,174
Stop the shooting!
1199
00:57:25,176 --> 00:57:28,744
You take my only son hostage,
1200
00:57:28,746 --> 00:57:31,013
I take your lack of holes
away from you.
1201
00:57:31,015 --> 00:57:33,482
I remove your status
of un-shot,
1202
00:57:33,484 --> 00:57:36,919
and I file it away
in the office of vengeance.
1203
00:57:41,658 --> 00:57:43,225
You're not gonna kill me.
1204
00:57:43,227 --> 00:57:45,227
I ain't dyin'
on the fuckin' job.
1205
00:57:47,597 --> 00:57:49,698
You didn't think
about this, did ya?
1206
00:57:51,167 --> 00:57:52,868
You did it.
1207
00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:56,972
God damn it.
1208
00:58:00,610 --> 00:58:02,544
Fuck this.
1209
00:58:08,718 --> 00:58:10,819
God damn nickel draft night.
1210
00:58:10,821 --> 00:58:12,154
To play devil's advocate,
it's a great price,
1211
00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:14,256
and it gets a lotta
butts in the seats.
1212
00:58:14,258 --> 00:58:17,025
But now everybody's so tanked
they can't fire a gun straight.
1213
00:58:17,027 --> 00:58:20,963
- Yeah, of course, sorry. -Fuck this.
I'm goin' to my office.
1214
00:58:20,965 --> 00:58:23,165
I think I have
a yeast infection.
1215
00:58:23,167 --> 00:58:24,900
My pussy's on fire.
1216
00:58:24,902 --> 00:58:26,502
It's gonna be okay.
1217
00:58:26,504 --> 00:58:28,670
Just like that story
in the Bible I told you.
1218
00:58:28,672 --> 00:58:30,639
The one where Jesus kisses
the robot on the mouth
1219
00:58:30,641 --> 00:58:32,608
and he becomes a real boy.
1220
00:58:32,610 --> 00:58:35,210
We're gonna get out of here
as long as we're brave, right?
1221
00:58:35,212 --> 00:58:38,547
Mm. I'm gonna go get us
some help. Be right back.
1222
00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:51,093
I don't care if you believe it,
1223
00:58:51,095 --> 00:58:52,694
guy had never heard
of frog tags...
1224
00:58:52,696 --> 00:58:54,696
Frog tags.
He never heard...
1225
00:58:57,066 --> 00:58:58,934
It must be nickel
draft night in here,
1226
00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:01,270
'cause these clowns
aren't makin' any sense.
1227
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,673
I had to say something.
1228
00:59:16,686 --> 00:59:18,086
We'll keep an eye out...
1229
00:59:18,088 --> 00:59:20,022
For you.
1230
00:59:21,325 --> 00:59:23,959
End of the fuckin' line,
ass blasters.
1231
00:59:23,961 --> 00:59:25,594
- Oh, my god.
- Lame.
1232
00:59:25,596 --> 00:59:27,162
You're gonna come into my town,
1233
00:59:27,164 --> 00:59:28,597
ruin my day off,
1234
00:59:28,599 --> 00:59:30,065
kill basically
all the guys I know.
1235
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,934
I never actually thought
about it like that.
1236
00:59:31,936 --> 00:59:33,235
But I did.
1237
00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:35,737
Weekend, what
the fuck you doin'?
1238
00:59:35,739 --> 00:59:38,740
Handing in my resignation.
1239
00:59:38,742 --> 00:59:40,709
Oh, what the fuck?
1240
00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:42,044
Why'd you shoot that stripper?
1241
00:59:42,046 --> 00:59:43,712
That was my ex-wife,
but you're next.
1242
00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:44,947
You askin' me
to marry you, sissy?
1243
00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,248
Till death do us part.
1244
00:59:48,117 --> 00:59:50,852
Cop banter.
1245
00:59:50,854 --> 00:59:52,287
Wait, does this mean...
1246
00:59:52,289 --> 00:59:56,158
I think it means
I'm not cop mafia anymore.
1247
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:57,359
I'm just a cop now.
1248
00:59:57,361 --> 00:59:59,761
You did it.
You broke the curse.
1249
01:00:01,732 --> 01:00:03,599
But why?
1250
01:00:03,601 --> 01:00:05,267
Oh, I just realized i should
probably do what was right.
1251
01:00:05,269 --> 01:00:08,270
You know, for you, for me.
1252
01:00:08,272 --> 01:00:10,672
But most importantly
for you and that
1253
01:00:10,674 --> 01:00:12,641
tiny little yeti baby of yours.
1254
01:00:12,643 --> 01:00:14,343
You got some wahlberg on ya.
1255
01:00:14,345 --> 01:00:15,877
Oh, thank you so much.
1256
01:00:15,879 --> 01:00:16,979
Now, just...
1257
01:00:16,981 --> 01:00:18,814
Oh, it's really in there.
1258
01:00:18,816 --> 01:00:20,749
Thank you, I don't
wanna look foolish.
1259
01:00:20,751 --> 01:00:21,817
Yeah.
1260
01:00:24,888 --> 01:00:27,656
I'm finally free...
1261
01:00:27,658 --> 01:00:28,924
I got him!
1262
01:00:28,926 --> 01:00:31,927
No, why did you do that?
1263
01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:33,795
I was saving you.
He had his gun in your mouth.
1264
01:00:33,797 --> 01:00:36,198
He was saving me
from a messy mouth.
1265
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,233
Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.
1266
01:00:38,235 --> 01:00:40,902
It's okay.
You killed one person.
1267
01:00:40,904 --> 01:00:43,171
Not a big deal.
He probably had a family.
1268
01:00:43,173 --> 01:00:45,107
Probably had little kids.
Whatever.
1269
01:00:45,109 --> 01:00:46,341
They're not gonna be picked up
from soccer practice today.
1270
01:00:46,343 --> 01:00:48,143
No big deal.
1271
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,278
I'm sorry. I'm not
comforting you right, am I?
1272
01:00:52,016 --> 01:00:53,949
It's okay.
I know where baby Eddie is.
1273
01:00:53,951 --> 01:00:56,018
- All right, what's the plan?
- Right past the Jack-off booths
1274
01:00:56,020 --> 01:00:58,086
is the vip lounge.
It's filled to the brim
1275
01:00:58,088 --> 01:00:59,988
with fetishes,
perverts, and weirdos.
1276
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:02,024
The second we open the door,
they're gonna tear us apart.
1277
01:01:02,026 --> 01:01:03,925
Let's go.
1278
01:01:03,927 --> 01:01:06,962
We'll have to clear the
room out as fast as we can.
1279
01:01:06,964 --> 01:01:09,865
That'll do, pig.
That'll do.
1280
01:01:09,867 --> 01:01:11,233
Don't look around,
'cause you'll be shaken
1281
01:01:11,235 --> 01:01:12,868
to the core by what you see.
1282
01:01:12,870 --> 01:01:17,239
Fresh meat, let's kill 'em!
1283
01:01:20,144 --> 01:01:22,177
After that, there are
fetish rooms.
1284
01:01:24,782 --> 01:01:26,248
Fart fetish jazz rooms.
1285
01:01:26,250 --> 01:01:28,150
Oh, my god.
1286
01:01:28,152 --> 01:01:30,952
They're pretentious and shitty.
1287
01:01:30,954 --> 01:01:33,855
The white trash clown room.
It sucks so fucking bad.
1288
01:01:39,962 --> 01:01:41,863
Fucking fucking
disgusting pieces of shit
1289
01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:43,865
and their bullshit
frat boys coming in here
1290
01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:47,069
with their fucking
bullshit face paint.
1291
01:01:47,071 --> 01:01:49,104
We can ignore this room,
it's just where lumpy,
1292
01:01:49,106 --> 01:01:50,806
the world's most
forgetful snowman, lives.
1293
01:01:50,808 --> 01:01:52,207
I do not ignore things.
1294
01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,776
But I don't want to die.
1295
01:01:54,778 --> 01:01:57,279
Okay, now that all those
consenting adults back there
1296
01:01:57,281 --> 01:01:58,947
have suffered
for their proclivities,
1297
01:01:58,949 --> 01:01:59,981
what do we do next?
1298
01:01:59,983 --> 01:02:02,718
Oh, next?
1299
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,187
Next you fuckin' die.
1300
01:02:07,423 --> 01:02:10,125
- Unless you die first.
- Oh, you can't kill me.
1301
01:02:10,127 --> 01:02:13,228
If you do, you'll never
see your yeti again.
1302
01:02:16,466 --> 01:02:18,967
Drop the gun.
1303
01:02:18,969 --> 01:02:21,002
It wasn't a question,
motherfucker!
1304
01:02:21,004 --> 01:02:22,804
Drop the gun!
1305
01:02:22,806 --> 01:02:24,773
Why are you doing this?
1306
01:02:26,242 --> 01:02:30,011
Because I'm evil.
1307
01:02:31,381 --> 01:02:33,014
What, ain't you ever
seen an evil pimp
1308
01:02:33,016 --> 01:02:34,416
with goat legs before?
1309
01:02:34,418 --> 01:02:36,418
Yes, but it was many years ago.
1310
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,820
Shut up! Enough!
1311
01:02:38,822 --> 01:02:42,224
I'm gonna kill you
in front of your son.
1312
01:02:42,226 --> 01:02:44,059
Ha, he said the part
about killing him
1313
01:02:44,061 --> 01:02:46,094
in front of his son.
It's so cool.
1314
01:02:46,096 --> 01:02:47,429
I wish you were my dad.
1315
01:02:47,431 --> 01:02:49,364
I still need two minutes
to fertilize these eggs.
1316
01:02:49,366 --> 01:02:51,066
Make sure no one
comes down those stairs.
1317
01:02:51,068 --> 01:02:53,168
- Heh. "Comes."
1318
01:02:53,170 --> 01:02:54,903
You can't just put that in me.
1319
01:02:54,905 --> 01:02:56,805
- Well, you know you want it.
- No, I don't.
1320
01:02:56,807 --> 01:02:58,206
Well, now you know
how girls feel.
1321
01:02:58,208 --> 01:02:59,908
Ow!
1322
01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:02,077
You really stuck it to him.
1323
01:03:02,079 --> 01:03:03,111
Is that...
1324
01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:04,146
Dick?
1325
01:03:05,549 --> 01:03:07,282
Hold on, what do we have here?
1326
01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:09,184
Nice little bag a heroin.
1327
01:03:09,186 --> 01:03:13,288
I wonder if there's anybody
around here who loves heroin?
1328
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:16,324
Hey, anything happens,
and the heroin gets it.
1329
01:03:16,326 --> 01:03:19,361
No, you don't need that.
You have me now.
1330
01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:21,930
Oh, oh, hey, maybe you
don't need him anymore
1331
01:03:21,932 --> 01:03:23,298
'cause you have this now.
1332
01:03:23,300 --> 01:03:26,868
A nice soft pony you can
ride all the way home.
1333
01:03:26,870 --> 01:03:29,004
Don't do it.
1334
01:03:29,006 --> 01:03:30,839
- Come on.
1335
01:03:30,841 --> 01:03:32,107
Yeah, you know you need it.
1336
01:03:32,109 --> 01:03:33,308
That's the one.
1337
01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,076
See what happens now.
1338
01:03:35,078 --> 01:03:36,311
Now I win.
1339
01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:38,113
I thought you loved me!
1340
01:03:38,115 --> 01:03:40,282
No one loves you.
You're an asshole!
1341
01:03:40,284 --> 01:03:41,983
I gotta go save my dick.
1342
01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:43,385
Now get on your knees.
1343
01:03:43,387 --> 01:03:45,954
I wanna tell you both
a story of the future.
1344
01:03:45,956 --> 01:03:49,191
A future with yetis
far as the eye can see.
1345
01:03:49,193 --> 01:03:50,392
Hey, you can't come down here.
1346
01:03:50,394 --> 01:03:52,093
It's a private party.
Stop.
1347
01:03:52,095 --> 01:03:53,929
- Outta my way.
- God damn it.
1348
01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:55,063
- Awesome.
1349
01:03:55,065 --> 01:03:56,565
Get away from him, you bitch.
1350
01:03:56,567 --> 01:03:58,333
- You, I knew you'd betray us.
- How?
1351
01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:00,235
Because your name
is angel fuckin' snowflake.
1352
01:04:00,237 --> 01:04:01,503
That's like the least
evil name ever.
1353
01:04:01,505 --> 01:04:03,271
Pimp Billy is such an idiot.
1354
01:04:03,273 --> 01:04:05,140
When getting applications
for girls for your position,
1355
01:04:05,142 --> 01:04:07,075
there was girls with the name
cruela evilseed,
1356
01:04:07,077 --> 01:04:08,310
villian Von punishkill,
1357
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:10,312
Joan Hitler.
And we went with you?
1358
01:04:10,314 --> 01:04:12,113
Fuck you.
1359
01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:17,285
- Bitch!
- Bitch!
1360
01:04:19,422 --> 01:04:21,122
Yes, yes, yes.
1361
01:04:25,461 --> 01:04:28,363
Yes, yes, I know a guy
with two thumbs
1362
01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:29,931
who would love this.
1363
01:04:29,933 --> 01:04:31,633
I'm gonna go get him right now.
1364
01:04:36,038 --> 01:04:38,039
Too late to save
your dumb boyfriend.
1365
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:41,109
Sooner or later he'll be
torn apart from the inside.
1366
01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:43,478
No one's gonna tear
him apart, except for me,
1367
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,013
when I peg him.
1368
01:04:45,015 --> 01:04:46,548
Really?
1369
01:04:46,550 --> 01:04:48,917
Yeah, if you're into it.
We'll talk about it.
1370
01:04:48,919 --> 01:04:50,285
Meh.
1371
01:05:02,331 --> 01:05:04,199
Let's get you outta here.
1372
01:05:04,201 --> 01:05:06,534
Man, you're gonna love this.
It's totally your speed.
1373
01:05:06,536 --> 01:05:07,969
If you say so.
1374
01:05:07,971 --> 01:05:09,337
Oh, lame.
It's already over.
1375
01:05:09,339 --> 01:05:10,405
Look out.
1376
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,140
That's lame.
1377
01:05:12,142 --> 01:05:15,143
Oh. Oh!
1378
01:05:15,145 --> 01:05:16,578
- All right.
- Damn it.
1379
01:05:16,580 --> 01:05:19,414
At least we got some juice
in this after all.
1380
01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:23,585
God... I assume I'm
walking to safety.
1381
01:05:29,125 --> 01:05:31,960
Hey, sex piss two,
don't let it go to your shred.
1382
01:05:31,962 --> 01:05:33,261
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
1383
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,397
old sex piss has got
no beef with you.
1384
01:05:35,399 --> 01:05:37,232
I gotta live to finger
bang another day.
1385
01:05:37,234 --> 01:05:39,000
Sex piss.
1386
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,234
I feel like that was
the best kiss I ever had
1387
01:06:13,236 --> 01:06:17,205
- in my entire life.
- I know, me too.
1388
01:06:17,207 --> 01:06:18,540
Now let's go find your friends.
1389
01:06:18,542 --> 01:06:20,709
But first I have to fix
my hair and makeup.
1390
01:06:20,711 --> 01:06:21,977
- All right.
- Cool.
1391
01:06:21,979 --> 01:06:23,044
All right.
1392
01:06:23,046 --> 01:06:24,746
And then, and only then,
1393
01:06:24,748 --> 01:06:27,048
when all of mankind
has passed on
1394
01:06:27,050 --> 01:06:29,517
and the yetis are living
across the lands
1395
01:06:29,519 --> 01:06:31,086
will I be their king.
1396
01:06:31,088 --> 01:06:33,088
Livin' in a big-ass
house and doin'
1397
01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:34,589
weird shit because I can.
1398
01:06:35,993 --> 01:06:37,392
Shut up, slut!
Take it.
1399
01:06:37,394 --> 01:06:39,461
No, drugs are bad.
1400
01:06:39,463 --> 01:06:41,563
Drugs are bad?
You think drugs are bad?
1401
01:06:41,565 --> 01:06:43,398
Swords are bad.
1402
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:46,601
You wanna see your daddy eat
the raw end of a metal blade?
1403
01:06:46,603 --> 01:06:49,104
I'm gonna cut you in half.
1404
01:06:53,276 --> 01:06:54,542
What the dick?
1405
01:06:57,079 --> 01:06:58,780
No!
1406
01:06:58,782 --> 01:07:03,018
No!
1407
01:07:03,020 --> 01:07:04,486
No!
1408
01:07:06,389 --> 01:07:09,290
No, no, you saaa...
1409
01:07:10,326 --> 01:07:14,729
You son of a bitch!
1410
01:07:14,731 --> 01:07:17,599
This next bullet
is my lucky bullet
1411
01:07:17,601 --> 01:07:19,801
given to me by
my mother Rosemary
1412
01:07:19,803 --> 01:07:21,469
before she abandoned my brother.
1413
01:07:21,471 --> 01:07:23,705
But Rosemary was my mother.
1414
01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:27,542
Oh, my god.
1415
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:31,713
No, no, no, no, no.
No, baby.
1416
01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:33,875
Go take care of your friend.
I'm gonna help baby Eddie.
1417
01:07:36,552 --> 01:07:40,288
Oh, no, no, no!
1418
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:41,322
No!
1419
01:07:43,659 --> 01:07:45,260
It happened again.
1420
01:07:45,262 --> 01:07:48,763
Why do bad things always
happen to good people?
1421
01:07:48,765 --> 01:07:54,069
'Cause there is no god and we're
all alone in this universe.
1422
01:07:54,071 --> 01:07:57,372
And I'm beginning to think we
might not be the best people.
1423
01:07:57,374 --> 01:08:01,109
That makes sense. Thank you.
I feel a little better.
1424
01:08:01,111 --> 01:08:03,812
What do you boys say about
taking this little guy out
1425
01:08:03,814 --> 01:08:05,613
- for some waffles?
- God, I hate waffles,
1426
01:08:05,615 --> 01:08:07,816
but I could go for a crepe.
1427
01:08:07,818 --> 01:08:10,452
No, what did you do, no, no.
1428
01:08:10,454 --> 01:08:12,187
No, no.
1429
01:08:12,189 --> 01:08:16,291
No, no, no, no, pbf, no.
1430
01:08:16,293 --> 01:08:18,259
No, pbf, why?
1431
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:20,728
What did you guys do?
You broke him.
1432
01:08:20,730 --> 01:08:23,498
You assholes. He was
the best guy I ever met.
1433
01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:25,366
I have so many presents
i haven't given him yet.
1434
01:08:25,368 --> 01:08:27,102
And he'll never get 'em.
1435
01:08:27,104 --> 01:08:28,536
- Fuck you.
- What was that?
1436
01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:30,138
The self-destruct button.
1437
01:08:30,140 --> 01:08:31,806
Why does this place have
a self-destruct button?
1438
01:08:31,808 --> 01:08:33,374
There's one in every room.
1439
01:08:33,376 --> 01:08:34,676
There's even one
next to the soap dispenser
1440
01:08:34,678 --> 01:08:36,277
in the bathroom.
It's so annoying.
1441
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:38,313
It's because pimp Billy
had a vision,
1442
01:08:38,315 --> 01:08:41,583
and that included having
self-destruct buttons in every room,
1443
01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:43,818
and you took him away from me.
1444
01:08:45,689 --> 01:08:47,522
- Angel!
- Go out the front,
1445
01:08:47,524 --> 01:08:49,524
- I'm gonna go around the back.
- Are you sure?
1446
01:08:49,526 --> 01:08:51,693
I'll catch you on the flop side.
1447
01:08:51,695 --> 01:08:54,496
Oh, my god.
I love... I...
1448
01:08:58,435 --> 01:08:59,801
Come on, let's get out of here.
1449
01:09:04,441 --> 01:09:05,907
- What the?
- Shit.
1450
01:09:05,909 --> 01:09:08,409
Get in.
There's no time to explain.
1451
01:09:08,411 --> 01:09:09,878
Well, isn't that a time machine?
1452
01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:14,315
Couldn't you technically
make time to explain.
1453
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,684
I'm being a pill. I'm being
a little bit of a pill.
1454
01:09:19,755 --> 01:09:21,823
Take these, you'll need
'em where we're going.
1455
01:09:28,764 --> 01:09:31,432
Wait, what about your kid?
1456
01:09:31,434 --> 01:09:33,268
He'll understand.
1457
01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:40,909
No, no, you did it.
1458
01:09:40,911 --> 01:09:42,544
You blew it up.
1459
01:09:42,546 --> 01:09:45,213
You blew it all up, bastards.
1460
01:10:11,907 --> 01:10:13,775
It's okay, Eddie,
1461
01:10:13,777 --> 01:10:16,544
we're gonna find
your daddy someday.
1462
01:10:16,546 --> 01:10:18,279
Someday.
1463
01:10:21,717 --> 01:10:26,788
This isn't over.
1464
01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:34,762
Welcome to the future.
1465
01:10:36,265 --> 01:10:40,635
No fucking way.
1466
01:10:40,637 --> 01:10:43,938
It's incredible.
1467
01:10:43,940 --> 01:10:45,773
Is this a city full of yetis?
1468
01:10:45,775 --> 01:10:47,909
It's a whole planet
full of yetis, man.
1469
01:10:47,911 --> 01:10:51,679
Wait, is that a statue
of pimp Billy faunz?
1470
01:10:51,681 --> 01:10:53,681
Yeah, it is.
And there's more.
1471
01:10:53,683 --> 01:10:55,650
You're gonna wanna read this.
1472
01:11:00,789 --> 01:11:01,789
Is that...?
1473
01:11:01,791 --> 01:11:03,391
Looks like me.
1474
01:11:03,393 --> 01:11:07,262
"Wanted for crimes
against yetimanity."
1475
01:11:07,264 --> 01:11:10,331
I'll show them some crimes
against yetimanity.
1476
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,968
Sex crimes.
1477
01:11:13,970 --> 01:11:16,004
Wait, what?
1478
01:11:42,666 --> 01:11:44,499
I just finished
the quilt that I started
1479
01:11:44,501 --> 01:11:46,501
on the same day
that you started your book.
1480
01:11:46,503 --> 01:11:47,702
How's it going, by the way?
1481
01:11:47,704 --> 01:11:49,604
You mean my book
about how Adam and dick
1482
01:11:49,606 --> 01:11:51,439
don't appreciate us?
1483
01:11:53,042 --> 01:11:54,442
I just finished it.
1484
01:11:54,444 --> 01:11:55,877
I'm so proud of you.
1485
01:11:55,879 --> 01:11:57,679
I'm so proud of us.
1486
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:03,651
Jumpin' Jesus
on a pogo stick, alister.
1487
01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:05,887
You, my friend, are a genius.
1488
01:12:05,889 --> 01:12:07,622
This is fantastic.
1489
01:12:07,624 --> 01:12:09,090
This book made my head explode.
1490
01:12:09,092 --> 01:12:11,626
I gotta tell you something,
in my entire life,
1491
01:12:11,628 --> 01:12:13,061
I've never read
anything like this.
1492
01:12:13,063 --> 01:12:14,729
It's true, he hasn't.
1493
01:12:14,731 --> 01:12:16,597
Oh, my god, I can't
tell you how happy
1494
01:12:16,599 --> 01:12:17,865
it makes me to hear that.
1495
01:12:17,867 --> 01:12:19,634
You're gonna make
Cormac McCarthy
1496
01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:21,736
look like senator Joe McCarthy.
1497
01:12:21,738 --> 01:12:23,004
That's exactly what I said.
1498
01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:26,474
We have a hit.
A huge publishing hit.
1499
01:12:26,476 --> 01:12:28,543
So, let's bring out
the Jesus juice,
1500
01:12:28,545 --> 01:12:30,912
and I've got the good
stuff right here, buddy.
1501
01:12:30,914 --> 01:12:33,681
We're gonna share this.
We are going to share this.
1502
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:36,884
- I'm so happy. -Unfortunately, as
you know, we've had a little bit
1503
01:12:36,886 --> 01:12:38,886
of a financial reversal,
so we have no glasses,
1504
01:12:38,888 --> 01:12:41,889
but we do have this doggy bowl.
1505
01:12:41,891 --> 01:12:43,524
Mm, let's celebrate.
1506
01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:46,094
Come on, come on, come on.
1507
01:12:46,096 --> 01:12:48,629
Have a little bit.
Come on, lap it up.
1508
01:12:48,631 --> 01:12:50,098
Come on, give me a paw.
1509
01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:51,699
- Could I have some of that?
- What?
1510
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:54,602
Your Jesus juice
is down here between my legs.
1511
01:12:54,604 --> 01:12:56,671
Come on, get down
on your knees, you,
1512
01:12:56,673 --> 01:12:58,539
and don't you even look at this.
1513
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:02,076
It'll affect your style, right?
1514
01:13:02,078 --> 01:13:04,912
Close your eyes.
That's much better.
1515
01:13:08,151 --> 01:13:10,084
Barbara duckman. Oh!
1516
01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:17,725
- There you go, homey. -Thank
you so much, Mr. swooplin.
1517
01:13:17,727 --> 01:13:18,893
Swoop.
1518
01:13:20,496 --> 01:13:21,829
Make it out to sex piss.
1519
01:13:21,831 --> 01:13:23,965
"Sex" is spelled the normal way,
1520
01:13:23,967 --> 01:13:25,800
but "piss" is spelled
p-i-s-s.
1521
01:13:25,802 --> 01:13:28,002
That's a stupid name.
1522
01:13:28,004 --> 01:13:29,437
You see these two
guys on the cover?
1523
01:13:29,439 --> 01:13:31,439
They used to be my best friends.
1524
01:13:31,441 --> 01:13:32,840
Then they killed
my father figure
1525
01:13:32,842 --> 01:13:34,909
and destroyed the only place
I've ever loved.
1526
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,779
Now, I'm gonna travel
to the ends of the earth
1527
01:13:37,781 --> 01:13:41,749
until I find them, and I'm
going to exact my revenge.
1528
01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:44,752
I'll be finger-banging
their souls in hell.
1529
01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:48,055
That's stupid, too.
1530
01:13:48,057 --> 01:13:50,558
On another note, if you
guys need a third wheel
1531
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:52,894
in your relationship,
i swing both ways,
1532
01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:56,931
and let's make that fuckin'
wheelchair a tricycle.
1533
01:13:56,933 --> 01:13:58,733
Thanks for the book.
1534
01:13:58,735 --> 01:14:01,169
Joke's on you, asshole.
I don't know how to read.
110950
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