All language subtitles for Twisted.Metal.S01E04.WHZDARE.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-NTb_track4_[eng]

♪

[tires squealing]
- [Quiet] Jesus!

If you're tired,
just pull over.

Look, I'm on a schedule.

Besides, it'd be
a lot easier

if I didn't have to sit here
in complete silence.

Knock-knock.

- What are you doing?
- I'm telling a joke.

I say, "Knock-knock."
You say, "Who's there?"

So, I should already know
the joke before you tell it?

That's idiotic.
- It's a classic joke structure

with a little audience participation.

I say, "Knock-knock."
You say, "Who's there?"

I say somethin' like, "Orange."
You say, "Orange who?"

Then I hit you
with the punch line.

Why the fuck am I
talking to an orange?

Why are you
making this so hard?

Just say,
"Who's there?"

Ready?

Knock-knock.
[rumbling]

- Do you hear that?
- Yes, it's me knocking.

[rumbling]
Wait. I hear it, too.

Hold on.
Activating stealth mode.

[rumbling]

[horns honking]

Oh, shit! They have
stealth mode, too!

[Quiet]
What the hell?

Just turn around.

[John Doe] I can't.
They're everywhere.

[Quiet] Oh, my god.

- [John Doe] Move!
- [Quiet] Oh, my god!

Fuck! Fuck!
- [John Doe] Move! Move!

- Shoot them.
- [John Doe] With what?

The law stripped Evelyn
back down to factory settings.

Oh, I guess
they missed that one.

[cocking gun]
Hey, don't waste my shells.

I only have four
of those.

[gunshot and ricochet]

Shooting a steel door, smart.
Now, I only have three.

[horns honking]

[tires squealing]
[screaming]

- Go faster! Go faster!
- Okay! Okay!

[Quiet] Oh, no, no, no!
Go slower! Go slower!

Make up your mind!

[screaming]

Whoa!

[tires squeal]

[gate slams]

Hey!
You'll get it back

when you act mature enough
to handle it.

Okay, dad.
[blows raspberry]

[Watts] Come on out,
milkman!

We ain't
gonna hurt you.

Yeah, right. Huh.
Fell for that before.

You have?

[Miranda] You know,
if we wanted to,

you'd be dead already.

Look, I swear,

I swear on
granny's steering wheel

no harm is gonna
come to you.

We just--
we wanna flap lips.

I don't even know
what that means.

But fine.
We're comin' out.

I'm sorry that
we-we snatched ya up

the way that we did,

but I saw that placard
on your rump,

and I was like,
we gotta talk.

I'm Watts.
I run these rigs.

John. This is Quiet.
She don't talk.

- Motherfucker, eat shit.
- Much.

Hello. Hey.

My blood missiles?

Honey, those are outside
your weight class.

Oh, she's a beaut.

Hmm.

Did you install this limited
slip differential yourself?

- Sure did. Got it off of a--
- It's backwards.

[chuckles]

Wow, did you invite me here
to insult me or to talk?

Yeah, it's not really me
who wants a word.

Lock it up.

- Whoa.
- Whoa! [yelping]

Come on.

♪

Welcome to convoy.

Wow!
Okay, I'm impressed.

[Watts] Our founders
drove these semis

when the walls
went up.

Figure we'd better keep movin'
than be sittin' ducks.

No offense, Bella.

- That's a chicken.
- No, it's not.

And now, our little family is
around about 30 rigs all told.

And you never stop.

How the hell
do you fuel up?

Oh, nothing goes to waste,
even our waste.

You see,
we take our doodies

and turn 'em into fuel.
- Yeah, we get it.

Somethin' tells me

I don't wanna taste
your lemonade either.

Okay, I'm gonna have
to ask y'all to stay here.

Feel free
to look around.

I need a lift
to the sleeper car.

So, how'd you
lose yours?

Metal shear?
Angle grinder?

Oh, somethin' worse.

- It's fine.
- Oh, hmm.

Well, uh, let me see
what I got here.

Oh, this oughta fit.
- I can't pay.

Not lookin' for pay.

Just think you could shine
a bit more, if you want.

Mm-hmm.
That's it.

Thanks.

Don't get it wet.

Hey, she's here.

Someone there?

I brought you
to the milkman, granny.

[groans]

I'd get up
and shake your hands,

but my get away sticks
ain't what they used to be.

Granny,

your air tubes
go to nowhere.

Well, shit.

I thought I had ya.

[groans]

This Goddamn metal bar
keeps stickin' in my ass.

Uh, uh, hey,
be careful with that.

Took me ages to write,
and I only got the one copy.

You did that
while driving?

[laughing]

Sometimes you gotta
throw it in reverse.

[laughing]

Listen, milkman,
I know I don't look it,

but my insides look like
a seven car pileup.

I need you to go pick up
some medicine for me.

You want me
to make a run for free?

You're up to your asshole
in drivers.

Ask one of them.

Can't afford to lose
any of them.

The last milkman
never came back.

The roads are rough these days
with the vultures,

the lawmen,
the holy men.

Don't love the sound
of that last one.

Look, I don't have time
for scenic detours.

I have
a very important delivery,

and I got a long way
still to go.

I heard your ride

is as naked as a baby
on its birthday.

You ain't gonna get far,
you can't defend yourself.

Well, let me
make it plain.

You do this run
for me,

I'll will
saddle you up

with all the upgrades
we can supply.

We will weld on some guns,
right now.

Get the rest
when you get back.

[spits]
Deal?

Only if I get those
red missiley things.

Mnh-mnh. My blood missiles--
they ain't for sale.

You can have one.

- What, granny? Come on.
- Three.

- Two.
- Twenty.

- Zero.
- Zero.

Okay. [spits]
One it is.

Done.
[chuckles]

Pickup is at our
pharmacist's.

I'll write ya up
some directions.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You didn't tell me that
he's going to see her.

Where'd you think
he was goin'?

Watts and the pharmacist
had a bit of a falling out.

Falling out?

No, I pushed her
out of a truck.

Honey,
go weld somethin'.

I am.
I'm gonna weld somethin'.

I'm gonna weld some guns
to your fucking Subaru.

You fuckin'
son of a bitch.

What about Topeka?

Did you miss the fact

that a semi swallowed us up
like a fuckin' whale?

Now, the only way
I'm making it back to Chicago,

is if Evelyn
is armed to the teeth,

and now she's just gums.

So, chill.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm coming with you.
- Like hell you are.

This is milkman business,
and you're not a milkman.

[scoffs]
- If you die out there,

I'm stuck here
with horndog granny.

Look, I'm not gonna die.
I give you my word.

- I'm coming with you.
- Fine.

[John Doe]
"Three clicks past

the oak of eight branches."
What are these?

Directions to a pharmacist
or to a hidden treasure?

Why couldn't she just say,
"Turn left?"

So, what do you
think happened

between Watts
and the pharmacist?

Don't know.
Don't care.

Oh, cool.

See you got a new finger to go
with your robotic personality.

♪

I bet that was
those holy men guys.

Oh, you think?

Bad way to go.

[scoffs]
- I've seen worse.

Deskinned by butchers.

Crushed to death
by monster trucks.

That's plural.

I knew a milkman that
fell asleep on an anthill,

and those little shits ate 'em
alive from the insides out.

Poor bastard betrayed
by his butthole.

Sounds like milkmen
don't live long.

We don't.

You know, when I joined up
to be a milkman,

I was skin and bones.

You could play my ribcage
like a xylophone.

I joined up to survive.

I make my run.
I kill some vultures.

I do whatever I have to
to see another sunrise.

You know what
they told me

when they gave me
this milkman I.D.?

Why would I know that?
I wasn't there.

You're messing
up the story.

They told me
milkmen don't die old.

But if I deliver this package
to New San Francisco,

I might be the first.

[bells tolling]

You hear those bells?

[John Doe] Holy men.

Good thing they sound far away.
Let's haul ass.

[knocking]
Hello?

Anybody in there?
[knocking]

[Amber] Salutations.
[screaming]

[John Doe] Um, hi.

We're here on, uh,
behalf of the convoy.

You're the pharmacist?

No, I'm Amber.

Tea? It's gelsemium elegans.
I cut it this morning.

Oh, you look
so thirsty.

I am.

The sun isn't
holding back today,

are you,
you big yellow bastard?

[giggles]
Bastard.

Oh.

So, you have refreshments.

And I have questions.

[retching]
- Quiet, what the fuck?

[retching]

Oh, save your strength.

You won't be able to move
for a little while.

♪

[John Doe] I knew this pickup
was a bad idea.

Quiet, get my gun.
[wretches]

[Amber] Oh.

So, why did you kill
the convoy's milkman?

No, I didn't.

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

[John Doe] I didn't.
I'm a replacement.

You can check
my milkman placard?

This is my friend,
dendrocnide moriodes.

His nickname is
Mr. Gympie-Gympie.

The nettle so nice
they named him twice.

He's not so nice
when you touch him, though.

I've heard it's like
licking a live wire,

or taking an acid shower,
or going into cardiac arrest.

I wonder what it'll
feel like for you.

No.

[screaming]

All I hear
is buzzing,

but you aren't
a helpful little bee, are you?

You're a locust,
a holy man,

reveling and eating
and killing and fucking.

Thankfully, I am a firm believer
in the power of recycling.

Granny, she's sick.

Okay.

No, no, no, no, no.
It's true.

The medicine is for her.
You don't believe me,

you can look in my pocket,
right there.

[grunting]
- What are you--

[sighs]

Open.

Chew.

Okay, good.

Sorry I thought
you were holy men.

They're on pilgrimage,
and they're everywhere.

I wouldn't.

Mr. conium maculatum here
would love a chance

to knock you
on your tushy.

Man,
fuck this place.

So, here is the medicine
granny requested but...

[sighs]

Are you sure
she wanted this?

It has no
medicinal purpose.

Well, it's on the list,

so maybe granny
just likes flowers.

[giggles]

I never gave these
to her.

Here you go.

Is it true
somebody threw you

out of a moving truck?

Only because
I poisoned her first.

[giggles]

Watts and I have disagreements.

Plants need space
to spread their roots.

[sighs]

She couldn't make
room for me,

so I found a place

where I could have
all the space I needed,

here, alone.

Give my love to Granny.

[bells ringing]

We can take 'em.

Nah.

[engines revving]
[whooping]

[bells ringing]

[Quiet]
Where are we going?

[John Doe] They've been
behind us for 50 miles,

and they're only
getting closer.

We gotta get off the road.

[engines revving]
[whooping]

[grunting]

[bells ringing]

[engines fading]

[John Doe] They're gone.

I think we're good
for the night.

Ah!

Turtle, turtle...
[fizzles out]

Pfft.
I can do that.

Let's go find
a place to crash.

It smell like popcorn
and ass in here.

[sniffing]

Oh, my God,
am I the ass?

Huh?

Solid recliner, huh?

A lotta leg room.

We could definitely
sleep here, right?

Wait here.

Good news!

They have an absolute
classic in here!

[footsteps nearing]

Is this a silent movie?

Hello, citizen.
Hop on.

I'm pretty sure
I remember what happens.

It doesn't look safe,
Blank Man,

and why are you drooling?

Well, because
you're so attractive.

Hmm...

I don't normally meet citizens
of the female persuasion.

[Quiet] Oh, no, my shoe!

Why was I cursed
with such tiny feet?

[laughing]

It's your line.
- Oh, right.

I have to say, I like when
you grab me like that.

How dare you
objectify me?

Oh, no, that's right.
I gotta keep it PG-13.

Yeah, you'd need a map to know
where to put it, anyway.

[laughing]

Do this a lot?

Only when I'm waiting
for a storm to pass

or in between runs,
I'll check out a flick.

I like the action ones.

Feels good to
watch somebody else

get shot at
for once, you know?

You like the movies?

Mmm...

We weren't allowed to
watch them.

[chuckles]

What? Let me in
on the joke.

Okay.

One time, my brother
snuck us into a theater

when nobody was looking.

Rebel. How was it?

The movie?
I don't remember.

It was with two cowboys
fighting a mechanical spider.

Love that.

All I remember, is how hard
my brother laughed.

[laughing]

He had a great laugh.

It sounded like
a chainsaw.

[laughing]

- He sounds annoyin'.
- He was.

He was so annoying.

He was so annoying.

It was so cold
in the theater.

He let me wear his jacket.

He never let me wear it.

And now it's all I got.

What?
- Oh, nothin'.

It's just the first time we've
talked without a "motherfucker"

or a "fuck you"
slipping in there.

- Fuck you, motherfucker.
- That's better.

[chuckles]

- Who is this guy?
- Oh, this is the best part.

So, do you wanna play
Michael "The Suit" Minnelli?

Ahh, look how thin
my mustache is!

[laughing]

[John Doe] I'm coming to
get you, Minnelli,

no matter what you say.

[Quiet]
You'll never catch me!

I'm gonna sweat through
this satin set of pajamas.

[laughing]

♪

[clears throat]

Oh!

Uh, hey, they have
running water,

so I figured,
you know, laundry day.

[chuckles]

- Stop!
- What? What's wrong?

I didn't ask you
to do that.

Didn't you hear what
I said last night?

Yes, you said
it was all you had,

so I tried
to clean it.

I was trying to do
somethin' nice.

You washed it!

There's nothing left.
There's none of him left!

I didn't even get to
say goodbye, but I had this.

Look,
I'm no bloodiologist,

but I'm pretty sure it wasn't
just your brother's blood on it!

[door slamming]

Oh, come on. You're still
not talkin' to me?

Hey, let me guess.
Amber poisoned you.

What'd she use?
She use pink or purple?

The yellow.

Oh, that-that one
really sucks.

Yeah.

Thanks for
making the run.

I'm sure you're
looking forward

to giving that to granny,

so she can live
a long, horny life.

This won't save granny.

Nothing will.

This is to make granny more
comfortable as she passes on.

♪

Mmm.

Ugh!

Even with the flower in it,
it still tastes like piss.

I thought
we were helping you.

No. I got one gas pedal
in the grave.

Ain't nothin'
gonna happen now.

I don't understand.
You're just gonna give up?

Kid,
you and I both know

that most people
in this world,

they-they don't have
the luxury of going quietly.

Everybody else
goes loud--

car crashes, gunfire.

I heard about one
unlucky son of a bitch

got swallowed up
by ants.

Nah.

This way, I get to go
on my own terms,

and I get to do
somethin' rare.

I get to say goodbye
to the people I love.

Milkman,
you gave me a gift.

You will be paid
in full.

And as for you...

[groans]

I want you to have
a little somethin'.

[laughing]

Check out page 22,
the drive-thru.

[laughing]

- Jesus Christ.
- [Granny] You're welcome.

Now, scram.

I am the last
of the old timers.

You're taking
the wheel now, Watts.

So, let me give you
a nickel's worth of free advice.

The only thing more-more
precious than--

than gas, food,
porno, water,

is time,

time with the people
you care about.

[crying]

Mnh-mnh.

Don't let
some dumb bullshit

take that time
away from you.

Granny, you know, I--

Oh, no. No, kid.
I know. Now, go.

You're gettin' saltwater
on my leather upholstery.

♪

See ya soon, Fang.

[sighs]

♪

We lost
a good driver today.

Most of you knew her
as a founder,

our matriarch,

but the people who feared her
out on those roads,

they called her
Granny Dread.

[cheering]

Yeah.

This Beamer, this was
her pride and joy.

I mean, this was her ride
when the world fell.

Back then, she was
Cathy Stropton,

the top selling
real estate agent in Boca Raton,

a RE/MAX diamond club member
ten years in a row.

She was a goddamn legend.

[cheering]

We wouldn't be here
without her,

and we--
we will miss her.

Phew.

Let's stack them eights, granny.

[all] Stack them eights.

♪

[cheering]

I guess that was it.

Maybe we should
leave or...

[cheering]

Oh, shit!

♪ Talk to me ooh ♪

Yeah!

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ooh ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ Do you think you're
better off alone ♪

♪ Do you think you're
better off alone ♪

♪

♪ Talk to me ooh ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ooh ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

[humming]

[Watts]
Twister to Flower Power.

Come in, Flower Power.

♪

[clears throat]

This is Flower Power.

I didn't think I'd hear
your voice again, Amber.

Didn't think
you wanted to.

I'm sorry about granny.

[Watts] I'm sorry, too,

but I'm-I'm more sorry
that I-I pushed you away.

I miss you, too, hon.

Oh, yeah?

You do?

[cheering]

♪ All the things she said
all the things she said ♪

♪ Running through my head
running through my head ♪

♪ Running through my head ♪

Lucky number .17.

I knew
you could do it!

I brought you
a whiskey and Tang.

So, about the jacket, um...

I mean, I thought...

[sighs]

I-I mean, I heard
what you said.

I wasn't thinking.
I just--

Get to the point.

I'm sorry.

♪ All the things she said
all the things she said ♪

♪ Running through my head
running through my head ♪

♪ Running through my head ♪

You ever think
about staying?

I mean, the convoy is exactly
what you and your brother

were looking for,
safe, secure.

It's a city,

just with wheels
instead of walls.

Maybe if things
were different.

How about you?

They offered.

- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

Not gonna lie.
It sounded cushy,

but I'd still be
a milkman.

I don't want that.
I wanna get old.

Die an uneventful death.

[scoffs]

There's no such thing.

♪ All the things she said
all the things she said ♪

♪ Running through my head
running through my head ♪

♪ Running through my head ♪

♪ This is not enough ♪

Jesus. Maybe if you'd
stop blasting the heat,

you'd stop falling asleep.

I don't like
to drive cold.

♪

Hey, Quiet.
Knock-knock.

Who's there?

♪

♪