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My mother was a punk rock icon.
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00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,800
People often ask me
if she was a good mum.
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00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,800
It's hard to know what to say.
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00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,240
Sometimes I think of an answer
she might have come up with.
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00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,480
"A good mum?" she'd ask.
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00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,160
How banal.
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00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,680
How mundane.
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00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,319
The funeral was surreal.
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00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,920
My memory of it is a blur.
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00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,280
All these people I'd never met,
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00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,840
people who came to say goodbye
to Poly Styrene.
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00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,640
This famous person.
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00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,880
Someone so far removed
from the mother I knew.
14
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,120
I felt sick to my stomach.
15
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,399
I wasn't ready to be
the care-taker
16
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,160
of Poly Styrene's legacy.
17
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,680
I'd just lost my mum.
18
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,880
There was only me now.
19
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,560
The only child she had.
20
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,639
And now she'd gone and left me
21
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,640
to deal with it alone.
22
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,640
Thanks, Mum!
23
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,119
I know your antiseptic
24
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,480
Your deodorant smells nice
25
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,319
I'd like to get to know you
26
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:16,640
You're deep frozen Like the ice
27
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,800
She's a germ-free adolescent
28
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,240
Cleanliness is her obsession
29
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,040
Cleans her teeth Ten times a day
30
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,239
Scrub away
Scrub away, scrub away
31
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,880
The S.R. Way
32
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,080
My mother
taught me to love the sea,
33
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,200
for water is the beginning
and end of life on this Earth.
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00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,360
I find a kind of solace
in retracting her footsteps,
35
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,840
barely visible as they are
in the sands of time.
36
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,120
"July 3, 1976."
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00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,040
Hastings Pier.
38
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,320
It's my birthday
and I'll party if I want to.
39
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,400
Nineteen today.
What a birthday surprise.
40
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,240
Tacky Day-Glo sign, Sex Pistols,
41
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,840
market traders,
all my Freudian peers,
42
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,920
cockles, winkles and mussels.
43
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,760
"Never did like shellfish."
44
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:53,880
"I stand centrepoint
in an almost empty ballroom.
45
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,840
Three Swedish babes
stared at Johnny."
46
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,920
It took me a long
time to go through her things.
47
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,160
It was all too painful.
48
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,800
And there was so much
to sort through...
49
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,840
Photos, lyrics, albums.
50
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,360
Things of value
and cultural importance.
51
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,120
But I couldn't face it.
52
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,280
So, I didn't.
53
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,040
I had her ashes in a box, too.
54
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,760
I kept it in a wardrobe.
55
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,160
She wanted me
to take them to India.
56
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,840
But I couldn't face
that, either.
57
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,359
It was about five years
after she died
58
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,440
that I decided to
go through everything.
59
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,240
I was blown away
by her artistry.
60
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,840
She did all the artwork
for the band herself.
61
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,240
I enjoyed piecing together
all the parts of her puzzle.
62
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,000
Building a picture
of who she'd been before me.
63
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,279
X-Ray Spex are
one of the best exponents
64
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,280
of the so-called punk
or New Wave music.
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00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,839
Vocalist Poly Styrene
is the punkiest.
66
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,480
Poly Styrene chose
her name from the yellow pages.
67
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,320
Otherwise Marianne Elliott,
aged 19 from Brixton,
68
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,559
she's thought of
by the music press
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00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,479
as one of the most
interesting songwriters
70
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,799
to surface from the New Wave.
71
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,279
I know I'm artificial
72
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,640
But don't put The blame on me
73
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,000
I was reared with appliances
74
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,600
In a consumer society
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00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,399
One lady that's been causing
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00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,679
a lot of controversy
right around London,
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00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,439
is a lady I've got
in front of me now,
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00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,519
a Miss Poly Styrene.
Welcome to the program.
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00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,039
The name Poly Styrene,
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00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,039
was it given to you
by a publicist, or what?
81
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:37,040
No, I thought I'd use the name
of something around today,
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00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,960
you know, something plastic
and synthetic.
83
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,696
And I just looked
in the yellow pages
84
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,039
and then I saw it.
85
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,960
- Really?
- Yeah.
86
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,016
So that's how the
name Poly Styrene finally was born,
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00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,879
- from the yellow pages phone book.
- Yeah.
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00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,320
Oh, wow.
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00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,039
It sounded alright,
90
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,360
'cos I thought it was
a send up of being a pop star.
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00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,640
It was like a little figure,
not me, being Poly Styrene.
92
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,520
Just plastic, disposable.
93
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,679
That's what pop stars
sort of meant to me,
94
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,960
so therefore I thought
I might as well send it up.
95
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,600
Long before Poly Styrene,
there was Marianne Elliott.
96
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,359
Like all good heroines,
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00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,000
my mother cut her teeth
on a tough childhood.
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00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:29,400
A so-called "baby boomer"
born in '57,
99
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,080
and times, they were a-changing
in post-war Britain.
100
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,999
"Who am I? What the hell,"
101
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,799
I'm just an ordinary tough kid
102
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,720
"from an ordinary tough street."
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00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,160
We grew up in this
estate which was called Gosling Way.
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00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,639
It was one of those
old building estates,
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00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,599
where, in our flat,
106
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,040
we had a bath
in the kitchen with a lid on.
107
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,080
So there was not
a separate bathroom.
108
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,519
There was coal fires
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00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,480
in the main sitting room
and one of the bedrooms,
110
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,200
and in the other bedroom
there wasn't any fire at all.
111
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,759
We knew we were poor,
112
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,960
but the benefit system
wasn't as such as it is today,
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00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,599
and my mum
had to work full time.
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00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,640
She was a legal secretary.
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00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,759
And so in a way,
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00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,200
we were kind of like
the first latch-key kids.
117
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,720
My nanny, Joan,
was a second mother to me.
118
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,680
She looked after me
when Mum couldn't.
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00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,200
She looked after everyone,
120
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,600
a true matriarch.
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00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,640
She was well spoken, upright,
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00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,799
but at the same time,
something of a free spirit.
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00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,760
She met my grandfather
at a dance.
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00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,520
She was surprised
when he approached her.
125
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,560
She wasn't
used to male attention.
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00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,680
When he asked her to dance,
her heart skipped a beat.
127
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,999
She thought he had the darkest
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00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,560
and saddest eyes
she'd ever seen.
129
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,240
A real dapper chap, too.
130
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,280
Suited and booted
with impeccable style.
131
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,480
"Black is beautiful.
White is all right."
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00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,800
You're half-caste girl,
Do you wanna fight?
133
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,239
Black girl
carries her flick knife.
134
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,480
Will she cut me up
for being half white?
135
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,840
The national front are after me.
136
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,600
"I'm infiltrating,
can't you see?"
137
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,480
My mum was half-caste,
138
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,239
I'm quarter-caste,
139
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,800
my cousin's three-quarter caste.
140
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,519
Even when
I was growing up in the '90s,
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00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,880
these were the kinds of terms
people would use to describe you
142
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,400
if you were mixed race.
143
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,320
It annoyed the hell out of me,
144
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,160
and I know it upset my mum, too.
145
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,320
It's like saying
you're not quite whole,
146
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,280
you're just
a part-person, a fraction.
147
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,640
My mum never
had no friends as such,
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00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,680
because they just saw her
as a black man's whore.
149
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,320
It was bad enough
being a single mother.
150
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,199
Being a single mother
with half-black children
151
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,600
was absolutely "Hey, hey!"
152
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,800
You know, the white
community shunned Nanny, really.
153
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,479
Join the National Front!
154
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,759
The National Front!
The National Front!
155
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,240
Join the National Front!
156
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,640
The National Front!
The National Front!
157
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,919
When a white person
looks at a mixed-race child,
158
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,319
they think, "My God,
159
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,319
a white person
went with a black person,"
160
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,720
and vice versa.
161
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,600
It's their genes, really,
trying to preserve themselves,
162
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,160
because they see us as a threat
to their genetic existence.
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00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,640
There were
some nasty remarks sometimes.
164
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,999
I remember her coming home
with bruises on her legs
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00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,240
where the boys had kicked her.
166
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,639
She was a fighter,
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00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,656
if you said something to her,
she won't keep her mouth shut.
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00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,560
She's gonna
answer you back and say.
169
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,799
That whole mixed-race thing
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00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,239
would have been a fairly new
phenomena in this country.
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00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,799
There was no social experiment
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00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,240
for black-and-white couples
having kids.
173
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,079
And consequently,
their kids were very confused.
174
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,559
At school, you'd be like,
175
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,800
"What side should you play on?"
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00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,336
The attitude was that
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00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,279
you weren't ever
really black enough
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00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,559
and you weren't
light-skinned enough.
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00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,359
You know,
you were obviously not white
180
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,079
and you weren't black enough
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00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,880
to be part
of the black community.
182
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,559
The black kids
there, they could all say,
183
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,039
"We're black,
we can all stick together."
184
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,719
"We don't like white people."
185
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,640
"I could never go out
with a pork head."
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00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,999
But if you're half-caste
and you're with them,
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00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,360
you don't really feel that,
188
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,639
'cos, like,
your mum might be white.
189
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,360
And they're
slagging off white people.
190
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,800
And if you
go with the white kids,
191
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,840
you have to reject your father.
192
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,599
My Grandad, Osman Mohammad Said,
193
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,480
wasn't around much
when she was a kid.
194
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,880
You could say
they were estranged.
195
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,399
He spent his childhood years
196
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,520
as a nomad
in the Somali hinterland.
197
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,080
Then he made his way to Yemen
to seek his fortune,
198
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,520
ending up as a stowaway
on a British merchant navy ship.
199
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,040
He worked his passage
around the world,
200
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,039
finally ending up
in the docklands
201
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,040
of London's East End.
202
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,680
My mum came to resent
203
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,399
always having
to answer the question,
204
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,920
"Where are you from?"
205
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,520
She was a Londoner,
born and bred.
206
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,239
But she was also brown,
207
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,640
so her Britishness
was always questioned.
208
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,760
In the end, she started to
question it herself.
209
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,800
She had
this yearning for Africa.
210
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,239
She used to dream about
211
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,720
running away
from dreary, soggy England,
212
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,840
where she never felt at home.
213
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,319
"I wanna go back to Africa"
214
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,280
and find my heritage.
215
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,439
I wanna learn about the warrior
216
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,640
and how my ancestor lived.
217
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,480
'Cos all I've seen
is 'Jungle Book',
218
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,320
and I know
that ain't the way it looks.
219
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,960
I grew up on 'Tarzan', too.
220
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,760
What can he do?
221
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,040
What can you do?
222
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,000
I'm gonna cross Ethiopia
223
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,840
and see that ancient land.
224
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,720
And then I'll go to Somalia,
225
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,799
"barefoot across the sand."
226
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,400
Hardly anyone
knew my mum was Somali.
227
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,119
I mean, most people in the '60s
228
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,880
knew next to nothing
about Somalia or Somali people.
229
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,720
Even when I was growing up,
they didn't.
230
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,319
When I found
out that Poly existed,
231
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,760
that was, like,
such a validation for me.
232
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,640
I have a Somali punk icon
to look up to?
233
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,519
I was interested in
her story because of the difficulties
234
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,480
when you're growing up
between cultures.
235
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,439
When you come to a community,
236
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,199
you always want to learn
about the people
237
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,760
who've been here before you.
238
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,639
Who've pioneered
and kicked doors down
239
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,200
and flattened walls
for us to come through.
240
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,479
Identity, that's one of the
241
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,279
current problems
at the moment, is identity.
242
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,239
People try to
identify with something.
243
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,199
Everybody's looking desperately
244
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,199
to try and identify
with one thing
245
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,720
instead of themselves,
and that's what that's about.
246
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,239
Identity! One, two, three, four!
247
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:47,240
Identity is the crisis
Can't you see?
248
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,239
Identity
249
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,999
Identity
250
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,079
When you look in the mirror
Do you see yourself?
251
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,079
Do you see yourself
On the TV screen?
252
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,279
Do you see yourself
In the magazine?
253
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,999
When you see yourself
Does it make you scream?
254
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,159
Obviously,
identity meant something to her,
255
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,160
because of the song.
256
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,639
It was not only,
I feel, talking about
257
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,639
women within rock music,
258
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,839
it was also talking about
259
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,439
how many black women did you see
260
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,200
on the front covers
of fashion magazines?
261
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,839
It was, in a way I guess,
262
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,880
up to us to carve
our own identities.
263
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,239
She was a woman of
colour, working within an industry
264
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:38,040
full of white middle-class men
that had it all their own way.
265
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,560
It's really important
that people get that.
266
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,399
When you're mixed-race,
it's hard not to feel like
267
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,840
an outsider looking in
half the time.
268
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,680
You often feel like
you don't belong anywhere.
269
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,080
But that can be liberating, too.
270
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,840
I think my mum
got to the point where she said,
271
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,640
"I'm gonna carve out
272
00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:07,600
a place in
the world for myself."
273
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,640
And you know what?
She did.
274
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,536
The daily papers and the media
275
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,160
refer to you
as a bit of a rebel.
276
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,640
Um, do you think you're a rebel
in today's society?
277
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600
I mean, yeah,
I suppose I am a bit really.
278
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,559
Yeah?
279
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,960
I am a poseur And I don't care
280
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,679
I like to make people stare
281
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,960
I am a poseur And I don't care
282
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,440
I like to make people stare
283
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,199
Back then,
284
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,199
it was fairly unusual
285
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,320
to be bi-racial.
286
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,719
In a way,
we were embraced by punk
287
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,080
and we were part of punk
because it was full of people
288
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,640
who nobody else wanted.
289
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,480
We were welcome because
we were already outsiders.
290
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,320
I first saw Poly at World's End.
291
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,080
She had a little stall there.
292
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,559
This was just
on the very, very edge
293
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,120
of punk beginning, actually.
294
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,359
And she was sitting there
wearing...
295
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,399
I think it was lime-green
and orange plastic clothes,
296
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,120
and just looking really naughty.
297
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,559
It was to do
298
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,759
with the teenager
299
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,559
and how brilliant we were.
300
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,359
You know, just putting on
your dad's sweater
301
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,776
and, you know, some black tights
302
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,240
and running out
down the street and stuff.
303
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,280
You know, it was something else.
304
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,159
Even though
305
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,439
she was certainly part
306
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,439
of the punk explosion and scene,
307
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,279
she had a very distinct look
308
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,000
that was very individual to her.
309
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,199
Her home-made clothes,
310
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,760
making your own records,
having your own shop,
311
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,800
doing it yourself,
312
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,960
I think that
social-political thing of DIY
313
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,040
did inform a lot of punk
and post-punk.
314
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,160
But the way Poly did it
was kind of unique.
315
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,280
My mum was
obsessed with fashion.
316
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,320
She wrote songs
critiquing consumerism,
317
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,880
but she was
the ultimate shopaholic.
318
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,799
I pretty much hated
everything she wore
319
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,600
and felt embarrassed
to walk down the street with her
320
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,840
most of the time.
321
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,640
Especially when she forced me
322
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,799
into ridiculous outfits too,
323
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,799
like the matching
mother and daughter
324
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,720
Laura Ashley phase she got into.
325
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,479
She liked nothing more
326
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,320
than traipsing around
the West End.
327
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,280
"Let's go window shopping,"
328
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,479
she'd say,
329
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,480
and I would groan.
330
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,480
I couldn't think
of anything more boring
331
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,280
than walking around
department stores.
332
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,520
It was almost as boring
as sitting in a recording studio
333
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,320
or sitting in a restaurant
while she was being interviewed.
334
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,480
What an ungrateful brat I was!
335
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,760
Clothes are never really you.
336
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,520
That's why people wear them.
337
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,080
'Cos you can just create
an image with clothes,
338
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,240
they're just part of a façade.
339
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,680
Which is good fun
to play with sometimes.
340
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,199
By the time I was born,
341
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,440
Mum had left her punk phase
far behind her.
342
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,279
She always said
343
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,280
she never even
considered herself a punk,
344
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,040
that it was just a label,
coined by journalists.
345
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,119
At the same time, she recognised
346
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,240
that the scene
was the perfect vehicle
347
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,280
for her own
creative transformation.
348
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,760
She placed an ad
in the "Melody Maker" in 1976.
349
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:01,280
It said, "Young Punks
Who Want to Stick it Together."
350
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,959
She auditioned the band members,
351
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,599
and X-Ray Spex was born.
352
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,879
When she opened the door,
353
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,600
it was incredible.
354
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,280
She had this lovely,
beautiful smile on her face.
355
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,039
And when I saw her,
356
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,840
I just felt like
I'd always known her.
357
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,360
There's definitely some
previous life connection there,
358
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,040
some soul connection.
359
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,719
I sat down
with them and there was Jak
360
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,399
playing guitar and Poly singing,
361
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,320
and they sang some songs
and said, "Join in."
362
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,376
They gave me a cassette,
I took it home,
363
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,199
they rang me up and said,
"Would you like to join?
364
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,080
We've got a gig
Saturday at the Roxy."
365
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,839
Yeah, I just came in
366
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,720
and the outcome
was for anyone to hear me play.
367
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,120
I didn't play very much.
He just was very quick.
368
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,279
Two girls together,
369
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,480
it's gonna be lucrative.
370
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,320
Falcon Stuart
was my mum's manager.
371
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,520
He was also her first love.
372
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,200
She used to speak about him
all the time when I was a kid.
373
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,400
Sometimes she'd say
he was the love of her life,
374
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,040
other times,
that he'd ruined it.
375
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,839
It wasn't exactly a secret
376
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,280
but actually,
I wasn't quite sure
377
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,039
what the relationship was
with Falcon.
378
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,696
But it became
increasingly apparent
379
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,400
that they were
in a relationship,
380
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,519
and obviously
he was a lot older than her,
381
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,280
and was managing the band.
382
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,200
He was a bit like her patron,
383
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,880
in a Renaissance sense,
more than a manager.
384
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,160
Do you live in a
basement flat in his house?
385
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,799
- Yeah, why?
- I was just asking.
386
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,839
I'm not trying to imply you're
having an affair or anything.
387
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,479
No, I'm not saying that you are.
388
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,560
I just wondered if, what the...
389
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,040
What the significance of it was?
390
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,960
I think, well... lt's like...
391
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,519
well, there he can
look after you,
392
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,080
so it's like a patriarch deal.
393
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,040
Do you know what I mean?
394
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,000
Oh, well, no, not really.
395
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,719
Shall we go inside?
396
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,440
He seemed
to be mesmerised by her.
397
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,519
She was different.
398
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,160
She wasn't the norm,
she was different.
399
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,079
Definitely
I think he saw potential.
400
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,000
He saw it
from the very beginning.
401
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,240
I kind of had
a soft spot for Falcon.
402
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,280
I think he genuinely
cared for Marianne.
403
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,879
But it wasn't a relationship
404
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,400
which could sustain
itself in a healthy way,
405
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,679
because it wasn't built
on a healthy way.
406
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,520
Every romance
she had ended in tears.
407
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,080
She longed
to be loved so very much,
408
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,599
but she could never
sustain a relationship
409
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,040
longer than a few years.
410
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,360
"The infamous Roxy Club"
411
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,440
in Neal Street,
Covent Garden, London WC1.
412
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,560
X-Ray Spex manager
Falcon Stuart and I
413
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,440
drop in to check out the talent.
414
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,080
Names that scream out.
415
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,199
Billy ldol and Generation X,
416
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,119
The Buzzcocks,
Siouxsie and the Banshees,
417
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,079
Captain Sensible and The Damned,
418
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,360
Johnny Moped and Chrissie Hynde.
419
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,040
Poly Styrene and X-Ray Spex
420
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,720
"are booked
for the following week."
421
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,879
I'd never even
been to a gig, and by chance
422
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,479
and by great
good fortune and luck,
423
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,040
the first gig I ever went to
was X-Ray Spex.
424
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,400
I think it was 60p to get in,
425
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,719
went downstairs, waited,
expecting a tiny, dirty hall,
426
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,799
nothing much going on.
427
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,519
And then Poly Styrene came out
428
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,160
and it was... everything
changed for me right then.
429
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,560
I fell in love with her,
I fell in love with the band,
430
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,879
I fell in love with the music,
I fell in love with the idea.
431
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,599
To see my sister on that stage,
432
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,839
and the energy and the power
433
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,480
and the expression...
434
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,640
She just
was incredible to watch.
435
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,480
But her words are important
as well, aren't they?
436
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,480
If only for the titles,
437
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,159
even if you don't
hear all the words.
438
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,600
The titles are all very...
439
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,200
Trash really.
440
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,200
Her day
consisted of writing, largely,
441
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,079
and she'd write with a biro
442
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,400
on bits of paper
or in little books.
443
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,839
And sometimes she'd say,
444
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,440
"What do you think of this?
What do you think of this idea?"
445
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,120
I mean, nobody else
was really singing so much about
446
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,680
what Poly was singing about.
447
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,719
It was either about being funny
448
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,360
or being kind of pseudo angry,
449
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,720
or making some kind of
450
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,559
artful points about
the banality of daily life,
451
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,120
which had its own
weird excitement to it.
452
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,759
Some of my
earliest memories of Mum
453
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,320
are of her sitting
at her little typewriter,
454
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,400
totally absorbed
in whatever she was writing.
455
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,160
There was rarely a moment
456
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,680
when she wasn't
working on a new song.
457
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,600
Sometimes
I felt jealous of her music.
458
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,600
Her songwriting robbed me
of the attention I craved.
459
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,400
My grandmother
would tell Mum off
460
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,240
for leaving me
to my own devices.
461
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,999
She'd come over
and find me half-dressed
462
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,560
with unbrushed hair,
causing chaos,
463
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,840
drawing on
the walls with crayons,
464
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,360
while Mum was lost
in her own world.
465
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,680
Creative people don't always
make the best parents,
466
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,640
and she certainly
neglected my needs at times.
467
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,160
Little girls
should be seen and not heard.
468
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:20,199
Oh bondage, up yours!
One, two, three, four!
469
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,456
"I read a
book by William Wright,"
470
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,360
and discovered
a newfound sense of freedom.
471
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,520
Images of the Suffragettes chained
to the railings of Buckingham Palace
472
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,600
shot across
my photographic memory.
473
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,280
A faded dream
of Bowie's 'Suffragette City',
474
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,240
'Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am'
ringing in my ears.
475
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,599
Pictures of ball and chained
African slaves
476
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,800
were stored in my psyche,
in sepia of course.
477
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,080
I replayed
the biblical epic 'Moses'
478
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,680
on the screen in my head.
479
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,240
The story of the bondage
of the Israelites in Egypt.
480
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,560
I had an innate desire
to be free.
481
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,240
To be free from unwanted desires
482
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,680
"seemed desirable."
483
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,320
Bind me, tie me
Chain me to the wall
484
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,040
I wanna be A slave to you all
485
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,039
Oh bondage, up yours!
486
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,520
Oh bondage, no more!
487
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,600
Chain-store chain-smoke
I consume you all
488
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,560
Chain-gang chain-mail
I don't think at all
489
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,359
Oh bondage, up yours!
490
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:35,079
Oh bondage, no more!
491
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,279
Now recording-wise,
you've got a single out
492
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,199
called "Oh Bondage Up Yours!".
493
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,279
Now that has struck a bit of trouble
as far as airplay is concerned.
494
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,119
- True?
- Yeah, well...
495
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,320
I expected that, really.
496
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,520
A lot of men in the media
497
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,640
didn't want women
to step into that place,
498
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,799
to be given more power
499
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,000
and more say
and more visibility.
500
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,119
Everybody always
talks about "Oh Bondage Up Yours!"
501
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,439
because in a way,
just that sound
502
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,639
cuts through
a sort of glass ceiling
503
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,440
of what women singers
could do with their voice.
504
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,439
It was like a clarion call,
505
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,080
and it was the way she sang,
506
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,880
it was so urgent,
507
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,040
and it was like a call to arms.
508
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,320
It was like,
"I am so fed up!"
509
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,199
"The journalist
Lucy Toothpaste asked,"
510
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,760
'Are you liberated?'
511
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,720
'Are you referring
512
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,720
to "Oh Bondage Up Yours!" ',
I asked.
513
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,280
Lucy replied, 'Well, yes.
Is it about women's liberation?'
514
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,640
"'Yes and no, ' I replied."
515
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,040
I was just talking about
all forms of bondage.
516
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,879
You know,
repression, everything else.
517
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,880
Sexual bondage stems from that, so
it's all part of the same thing.
518
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,880
It all depends
which way you interpret it.
519
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,079
So it's much
to do with sexual bondage?
520
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,760
Yeah, it's to do
with all bondage.
521
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,479
And it's bondage
because it hasn't been played,
522
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,080
that proves it as well,
hat is bondage in itself.
523
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,999
I think a lot of people assume
524
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000
my mum was a staunch feminist,
525
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,320
because of "Oh Bondage",
526
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,799
because of the way she subverted
527
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,080
conventional
ideas of femininity.
528
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,879
But I don't think
she felt any allegiance
529
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,840
to a particular
political position or stance.
530
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,480
She wasn't ideological.
531
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,320
She was an observer
rather than a critic.
532
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,440
There was even a part of her
that longed to be a wife,
533
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,680
a stay-at-home mum.
534
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,560
She often complained about that,
535
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,200
that she had to work,
536
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,760
to be a breadwinner
and a mother.
537
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,040
She secretly wished
she could be a lady of leisure.
538
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,880
We didn't use the word
feminist very much at the beginning.
539
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,840
I was never afraid of the word.
540
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,559
But people
had their preconceptions,
541
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,879
and when somebody asks you,
"Are you this,"
542
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,719
and you know that you are
your version of that,
543
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,880
but you're not the version
of the person who's asking.
544
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,399
It's always very difficult,
545
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,000
and particularly for women
546
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,399
to make music
547
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,399
that has any
social commentary to it,
548
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,199
without it appearing,
549
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,039
particularly if you're black,
550
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,640
that you're the archetypal
young, angry, black female.
551
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,919
Poly had her
own ideas about everything.
552
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,399
She didn't follow fashion,
553
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,279
she didn't follow trends.
554
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,200
And so, I think the idea of
555
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,759
anybody telling women what to do
when it came to their rights
556
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,840
was something
that she would oppose.
557
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,239
She talked
about people treating each other
558
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,480
like they were commodities,
559
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,119
not just women
being objectified,
560
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,760
but all different kinds
of people being objectified.
561
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,456
And also not just,
"I'm the victim
562
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,256
and everybody's
taking advantage of me,"
563
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:56,800
but writing in this way of like,
564
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,520
"I live off you
and you live off of me."
565
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,160
"And we're like, both doing it."
566
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:04,999
That's something that
567
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,720
as a feminist artist
is incredibly important.
568
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,680
And I think these ideas
were so far ahead of their time.
569
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,376
Good evening,
it's "Top of the Pops".
570
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,119
And we're gonna make you
feel like dancing.
571
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,479
Here's the chart rundown.
572
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,439
- Okay, you're going.
- Alright, what are you gonna do
573
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,319
when we get rich, Jak?
574
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,640
Well, I wanna buy a bubble car
575
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:46,920
and a little house...
576
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,080
And, uh... have a harem.
577
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,760
A harem, woah!
578
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,919
Do you think X-Ray Spex
579
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,439
is gonna be bigger
than The Beatles?
580
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,239
- Um, yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, good.
581
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,279
- Positive.
- Good, good.
582
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,279
We tried to be different.
We had saxophones.
583
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,280
We had a female singer.
584
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,200
And Poly's voice, she could
blow them out of the water.
585
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,039
I mean, did you ever think
586
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,119
that you would be able to walk out
on stage and send an entire club
587
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,439
off their brains?
588
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,839
No, I don't think like that.
589
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,720
All going all around the place?
590
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,640
Richard
Branson of Virgin Records
591
00:34:27,641 --> 00:34:29,479
wanted to sign X-Ray Spex.
592
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,000
And he was really, really keen.
593
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,200
But we went to EMI.
594
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,256
The first time I can remember
595
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,560
that I was aware of her
596
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,320
was seeing her
on "Top of the Pops".
597
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,760
It wouldn't really
even have occurred to me,
598
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,199
at the time,
599
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,199
that she was part
of the punk movement.
600
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,559
But there were things about her
601
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,240
that I thought
was the very best of punk.
602
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,479
I can definitely remember
603
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,879
what happened to me
604
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,680
the first time
I heard Poly's voice.
605
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,840
It was like an awakening for me.
606
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,040
There were a lot of men around,
607
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,000
but obviously being a woman,
and being a young woman,
608
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,120
and I think Poly
being a woman of color
609
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,359
on that scene,
610
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,599
was another reason
why she became
611
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,120
a huge role model for me.
612
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,720
And I actually started singing
because of her,
613
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,400
to be perfectly honest.
614
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:31,999
I was Tinkerbell
615
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,680
And you were Peter Pan
616
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,840
In the '80s, when I was little,
617
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,239
Poly Styrene was still
618
00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:48,160
a pretty fresh memory
in the pop world.
619
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,199
And people would sometimes
stop my mum in the street
620
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,560
to tell her how much
they loved her.
621
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,840
It didn't really faze me,
to be honest.
622
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,880
It's all I knew.
623
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,200
Her reactions would vary
624
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,680
according to whatever
mood she was in.
625
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,239
She used to joke
that being famous but broke
626
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,800
was the worst of both worlds.
627
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,240
She had all the attention
that comes with fame,
628
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,840
but lacked the means
to protect herself from it.
629
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,559
Seeing Poly on "Top of the Pops"
630
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,840
with braces on her teeth,
631
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:29,759
just kind of laughing
632
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,520
and being a normal human being,
633
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,759
it was a really, really
634
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,160
powerful statement.
635
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,199
You could see
she'd made an effort,
636
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,439
but she hadn't made that sort of
Twiggy and Clodagh Rodgers,
637
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,560
soft, floaty...
638
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,599
She just wasn't floaty
639
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,400
and that was
just such a bloody relief!
640
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:50,079
For the regular pop charts,
641
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,000
we were supposed to all
look like Joni Mitchell.
642
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:56,280
Poly was funny looking,
with her braces and...
643
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,719
her unsmooth hair
644
00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:03,160
and her very futuristic style.
645
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,399
I remember
when the album came out,
646
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,120
she was really annoyed
647
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,336
because the record company
had slimmed her image down
648
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,039
on the front of the album cover,
649
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,759
and BP's as well.
And she was really angry
650
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,120
that somebody
had manipulated her image.
651
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,320
"Why couldn't they
just put me on as I was?"
652
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,439
Do you
dress to make people laugh,
653
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,200
or to make them think?
654
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,599
I mean, when you
put something on,
655
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,760
do you think the idea is
656
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,320
to make people
laugh with you, or...
657
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,719
Somebody said to me that your...
658
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,199
you know, your teeth braces,
659
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,399
somebody said it was
just a device, you know?
660
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,600
- No.
- A stage prop.
661
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:45,816
- It can't come off.
- Can't it?
662
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,679
No, not yet, anyway.
663
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,240
- Is it screwed in?
- No, it's cemented on.
664
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,256
Then again,
with those braces on her teeth,
665
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,760
Poly Styrene
is hardly Linda Ronstadt.
666
00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,400
When Mum was young,
667
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,000
she was pretty confident
about the way she looked.
668
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,760
She'd never
been short of admirers.
669
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,599
But the experience
of being famous
670
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,120
made her insecure.
671
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,760
The public scrutiny
over the way she looked
672
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,840
started to grate on her.
673
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,520
She felt like journalists
were celebrating her
674
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:30,720
by insinuating that she was
unattractive and overweight,
675
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:32,959
totally not getting
676
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,319
what she
was trying to achieve by
677
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:40,280
choosing not to over-expose
her voluptuous form on stage.
678
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,536
I don't want to
become totally self-indulgent,
679
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,760
because I write things
that other people can relate to.
680
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,281
If I get totally into myself,
I won't be able to do that.
681
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,439
What I write will just become
a reflection of me,
682
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,920
instead of a reflection
of everything else.
683
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,560
For some people that works,
but it's not what I'm about.
684
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,240
I don't personally want to
indulge in my own fantasy,
685
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:09,600
my own self-image.
686
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,776
People make difficulties
687
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,160
within the entertainment
industry.
688
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,759
Certainly,
they make difficulties
689
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,200
for young women of colour,
690
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,120
there's absolutely
no doubt about that.
691
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,759
Young women of any ethnicity,
692
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,800
I think,
find it quite difficult.
693
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,560
I think she needed time off.
694
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,879
She needed,
695
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,319
she definitely
needed respite periods,
696
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,599
and as everybody knows in the music
business and when you're setting up,
697
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:47,999
it's go, go, go, go,
698
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,560
and I think that
was totally destructive for her,
699
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,040
it really was.
700
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,399
"My God, our name and fame"
701
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,080
is spread all over
the three worlds.
702
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,400
'We will be famous
just for one day.'
703
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,880
David Bowie.
704
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,199
'Everybody will be famous
for 15 minutes.'
705
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,880
Andy Warhol.
706
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,920
'I am a cliché.'
707
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,240
"Poly Styrene."
708
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:40,520
This one is called
"Let's Submerge".
709
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,639
It's dark and eerie
And it's really late
710
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,839
Come on, kids Don't hesitate
711
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,879
We're going down
712
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,160
To the underground
713
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,799
We're going down
714
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,839
We're going down
715
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,520
To the underground
716
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,879
X-Ray Spex
were one of the first wave
717
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,799
of punk bands from London
718
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,160
to come to New York.
719
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,919
In New York, punk rock
was a new sort of
720
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,920
youth culture division
that was happening,
721
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:30,599
like investigating this more
sort of nihilist attitude,
722
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,080
with the fallout of hippie
and the fallout of Vietnam,
723
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,080
and this kind of
failed Utopian ideal.
724
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,079
We went for
a residency in New York
725
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,120
at a venue called CBGB's.
726
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,040
CBGB's was
like a stinky toilet of a place.
727
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,400
It was grungy
and ghastly and stinky.
728
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,039
It's dark and
eerie And it's really late
729
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,519
Come on, kids Don't hesitate
730
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,159
We're going down
731
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,119
To the underground
732
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,999
We're going down
733
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,519
We're going down
734
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,920
To the underground
735
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,519
Everybody
below 14th Street, New York
736
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,600
was at that gig.
737
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,119
'Cos everybody
would talk about it
738
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,640
throughout the summer.
739
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,239
I can see now
740
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:33,519
Paul Weller, The Jam,
and Debbie Harry,
741
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:34,679
sitting in the front row,
742
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,240
cheering us on.
743
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,040
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck is this?
744
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,679
Oh bondage, up yours!
745
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,416
What was so
exciting about it was that
746
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,879
when they did
"Oh Bondage Up Yours!",
747
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,679
Poly would hand me
the microphone
748
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,560
to sing "Up yours".
749
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,280
It was somewhat
as if I was being knighted.
750
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,280
That was wonderful.
751
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,839
When we were in New York
752
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,200
we did two gigs a night.
753
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,120
In between times,
we went drinking,
754
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,320
went to parties,
755
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,320
or met women.
756
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,240
All kinds of things happened.
757
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,840
It was totally
different to London.
758
00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,520
Everything was open
the whole time.
759
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,240
Now it seems, "Well, so what?"
760
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,320
But at the time, that was new.
761
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,159
Put on the TV,
had tons of channels.
762
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,240
We only had three at home.
763
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,160
In New York,
this is like the future.
764
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,000
Oh, is this "Tomorrow's World",
you think?
765
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,600
I don't know what program it is.
766
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:04,479
Unlike our grandparents,
767
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,280
we live in a world that we made.
768
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,440
We are crammed
like battery hens with stimuli.
769
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,279
Capitalism, plus electronics,
770
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,240
gave us a new habitat.
771
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:16,680
Our forest of media.
772
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,679
For the first time ever, save $5
773
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,439
on our original, realistic
pocket weather radio.
774
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,560
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775
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,839
only $10.95.
776
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,319
Rain or shine,
777
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,600
the exclusive, realistic
pocket weather radio.
778
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,799
And there's only one place
you can find it.
779
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,719
It wasn't a
conscious attempt to be clever.
780
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:37,199
I just thought that
781
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,480
I'd write about
all these plastic things
782
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,760
because they seemed to be
creeping in more and more,
783
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:46,319
which is why New York
totally blew me apart.
784
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,480
You'll look so
pretty and have such fun.
785
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,199
I saw everything
that I'd been writing about
786
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,240
in extreme, but for real.
787
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,640
For them it wasn't a joke,
it was the way they lived.
788
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,280
For me, it was all a joke.
789
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,559
Play with it,
indulge it, have fun with it,
790
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,880
because there's not really
that much of it over here.
791
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,719
But when you go there,
it's so bad that you think,
792
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,800
"God, if that's
what it's gonna be like,
793
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,200
I don't want it."
794
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,519
The weird thing
about all the plastic
795
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,800
is that people
don't actually like it.
796
00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:26,880
But in order to cope with it,
797
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,920
they develop a perverse
kind of fondness for it,
798
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,240
which is what I did.
799
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,599
I said,
800
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,440
"Oh, aren't they beautiful
because they're so horrible."
801
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,320
It's very perverse
and I realise that, and...
802
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:45,760
that was what was so frightening
803
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,160
about New York.
804
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,440
New York was
the start of something,
805
00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:58,640
a new feeling
she couldn't quite shake.
806
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,760
She started to question
everything around her.
807
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,440
Was any of it real?
808
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,376
I think the
consumerism side of New York
809
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,920
and the advertising
and the bright lights
810
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,879
and dazzling lights everywhere,
811
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,679
that did destabilize Poly
812
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,480
and affect the way
she was writing songs.
813
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,376
- Are you gonna change, do you think?
- I dunno really.
814
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,839
I mean, we're just changing
already a bit, you know.
815
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,399
Just in the sort of...
You know, just the songs.
816
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,039
It's just the way
everything else
817
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,360
reflects everything else,
and you're just part of it.
818
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,599
So the music
reflects what you feel,
819
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,400
and also it reflects
what's happening around you.
820
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,280
The further she went
down the rabbit hole of fame
821
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,040
and all the excess
that goes with that lifestyle,
822
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,640
the more absorbed she became
823
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,239
in the dystopian futurism
of the world
824
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,560
she was creating
through her lyrics.
825
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,359
I think the artifice
and insincerity
826
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,079
she was surrounded by
in the music industry
827
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,760
influenced her.
828
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,359
It influenced
her imagining of a plastic,
829
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,480
synthetic universe,
830
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:20,280
where the natural world
has retreated,
831
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:25,480
the final triumph
of everything that's fake.
832
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,479
"I muse over the future"
833
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,840
and all it may bring.
834
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,400
I open Pandora's box of hope.
835
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,159
I envision a time
in the distant future
836
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,920
when synthetics rule.
837
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:44,760
The downside:
838
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,520
Humankind destroy
the natural environment.
839
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,000
The upside:
840
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,040
"Burgers will be cruelty-free,
veggie rubber buns."
841
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:05,119
I clambered over
Mounds and mounds
842
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,199
Of polystyrene foam
843
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,559
Then fell into A swimming pool
844
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,759
Filled with fairy snow
845
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,440
And watched the world
846
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,440
Turn Day-Glo You know, you know
847
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:22,720
The world turned Day-Glo
You know
848
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,400
I wrenched
The nylon curtains back
849
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,719
As far as they would go
850
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:41,039
Then peered through
Perspex window panes
851
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:42,999
At the acrylic road
852
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,559
And watched the world
Turn Day-Glo
853
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,399
You know, you know
854
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,880
The world turned Day-Glo
You know
855
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,000
Uh-oh
856
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,119
I think she was aware
857
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,039
of how society was changing
858
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,840
into a very consumerist society,
859
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,080
and probably
coming a lot from America.
860
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,760
She saw into the future.
861
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,959
She felt the
world was a monolithic,
862
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,359
cruel place,
863
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,120
and why can't it be
a nice place?
864
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,720
All those songs, "Art-I-Ficial",
865
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,439
"Highly Inflammable",
"Genetic Engineering",
866
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,079
all these songs were progression
from the early stuff,
867
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,200
which was about relationships
and about herself.
868
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,640
The consumer society
was there in front of her eyes.
869
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:45,159
The whole CBGB's experience
870
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,600
changed my mum as a person.
871
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,880
She was exposed
to the city's seedy underbelly.
872
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,000
And she lost whatever
innocence she still had left.
873
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,599
She told me that she
was given something to smoke
874
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,720
at a party there one night,
875
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,240
and it tipped her over the edge.
876
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,119
Now she'd also lost her mind.
877
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,999
There was
what you might call a darkness
878
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,399
to the New York scene
879
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,480
that was very different
from the British scene.
880
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:27,960
It was much more accepting
881
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,640
of heavy drug use.
882
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,800
Disco candy was everywhere.
883
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,720
Hip people took coke in America.
884
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,120
It just turned people
into demons.
885
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,479
And Poly was that sensitive,
886
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,280
that no doubt
887
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,760
she picked up
on that negative energy.
888
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,040
I went to New York.
889
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,280
It really turned my head.
890
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:03,639
All that attention,
891
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,600
they treat you
like you're really different.
892
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,240
It got to me.
I was worn out and doing drugs
893
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:10,800
and I was smoking a lot.
894
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,240
People were all around
telling me how wonderful I was.
895
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,679
I didn't start to
exactly believe it,
896
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,240
but I started to get
very insecure.
897
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,120
- Goodnight.
- Give us a kiss.
898
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,359
She didn't
like that environment,
899
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,119
she didn't like
"Top of the Pops".
900
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,520
She didn't like mixing around
all those kind of people.
901
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,559
She felt they were
very superficial
902
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,080
and very not genuine.
903
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,559
I remember her coming off stage
904
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,600
and totally collapsing
905
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,440
and crying her eyes out,
906
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,360
as if she totally forced herself
907
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,080
to go on stage
in the first place.
908
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,599
And I could see she wasn't well,
909
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,200
she wasn't okay.
910
00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:18,279
I mean, it
isn't normal for people
911
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,679
to be surrounded with people...
telling them that they're great.
912
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,680
That isn't a normal situation,
most people do not get that.
913
00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:28,080
It isn't normal to be...
914
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,719
up on stage and people jumping all
over you and ripping your clothes off,
915
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:34,040
that isn't a normal thing
for anybody to take.
916
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,999
And then you get people
coming backstage as well,
917
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,679
you get people
coming to your house,
918
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,960
and then you get people
trying to break in,
919
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,799
and then you just get people
surrounding you all the time.
920
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,759
And you just
are never on your own,
921
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,239
and that's just not normal.
922
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:51,880
So therefore, you just say, "Go
away, I don't want to see anybody."
923
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,719
The thing with Poly
924
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,239
is that she was
925
00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:05,480
at the same time very resilient
926
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,600
and yet very vulnerable.
927
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,399
Especially being so much
in the vanguard,
928
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:17,399
her immediate support system
of people who really got her
929
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,280
was not that large.
930
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,799
We read every
week in the music trade papers
931
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,519
the exploits of, say,
932
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,200
The Sex Pistols
and Johnny Rotten.
933
00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:31,360
Are you a follower
of The Sex Pistols yourself?
934
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,360
I mean, I like The Sex Pistols.
935
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,799
Yeah, I like them.
936
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,440
'Cos they're sort of
part of our generation, really.
937
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,799
John Lydon,
who she really liked a lot,
938
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,320
and obviously got a lot
of her inspiration from,
939
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,800
was living 'round the corner
940
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,640
at Gunter Grove at this point.
941
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:59,519
We used to see him,
sometimes, riding along,
942
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,320
we'd stop and say hello.
943
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,599
She was kind of infatuated,
944
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:10,120
or at least had a crush
of some sort on John Lydon.
945
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:14,359
But she felt
not taken seriously by him
946
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,560
and the rest of them.
947
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,456
Apparently, Sid Vicious
had locked her in a cupboard
948
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:21,480
under the stairs.
949
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:23,799
She asked where the loo was
950
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:25,679
and he tricked her
into going into this cupboard,
951
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,520
slammed the door and locked
her in for about an hour.
952
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,920
Yeah, she was really,
really upset by that.
953
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,120
They were
lads, they were laddiest,
954
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,399
unthinking, mean things.
955
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,079
Undercutting things,
956
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,279
things designed
to make you feel like nothing.
957
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,200
Like, worse than nothing.
958
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,280
As if they
had no regard for you.
959
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:53,920
That was the sort of milieu
that Poly encountered,
960
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:56,319
that encouraged her
961
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,320
to go into the toilet
at John's house.
962
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,056
I was 'round
at Johnny Rotten's place
963
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,239
and Poly turned up at the door.
964
00:55:06,240 --> 00:55:08,679
Which was a brave thing, 'cos
you go around to John's place,
965
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,720
it's like baptism by fire.
966
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,759
I remember she was sitting there
967
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,360
and not really saying much.
968
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:18,599
And we were shooting the breeze
and being typical lads
969
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:19,880
and sort of ignoring her.
970
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,776
And at some point
during the conversation,
971
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,399
during the night,
972
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:25,960
she'd got up
and went into the bathroom.
973
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,800
And no one
thought anything of it.
974
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,799
And then I guess we
were talking for a while
975
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,440
and not realized she'd been gone
976
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,080
for like, half an hour.
977
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,679
And then we heard
the bathroom door open
978
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,200
and we looked up,
979
00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:57,160
and she started to
walk down the stairs...
980
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000
And she'd cut all her hair off.
981
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,840
I'll be honest with you, we were
totally insensitive to the moment.
982
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,960
The thing is, she
had a gig coming up.
983
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,856
What do you do?
She'd got a gig coming up,
984
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,399
at Victoria Park, massive gig.
985
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,400
The National
Front is a Nazi front!
986
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,799
We played
at Rock Against Racism,
987
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,879
along with Tom Robinson Band,
988
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,120
The Clash, Sham 69.
989
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,040
There were 80,000 people there.
990
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,440
That was a really huge gig.
991
00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,839
If you were
ever at one of those events,
992
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,679
like the big events
in Victoria Park,
993
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,559
it made one feel that
994
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,759
one was part of a positive army
995
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,160
of like-minded people.
You felt so empowered.
996
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,520
You really felt
that this generation
997
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:22,000
had made racism and
fascism laughable and passé.
998
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,256
When we were
driving to the venue,
999
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,359
and Poly was wearing
a woollen scarf
1000
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,239
wrapped around her head,
and she said,
1001
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,839
"Oh, I shaved
my head last night."
1002
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,479
And Falcon said,
1003
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,439
"Well, you bloody well
do not take that scarf off
1004
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:36,520
while you're performing."
1005
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,679
And she winked
and said, "Oh no, I won't."
1006
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,600
Halfway through
the song "Identity",
1007
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,160
she was going "Identity..."
and she started to unravel it.
1008
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,639
She did it in a kind of
1009
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,479
seductive, teasing manner.
1010
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,360
She started hovering her hand
around the top of her head
1011
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,160
and taking
bits of it off like that.
1012
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,719
By the time she got to the end
there was gasps at the front
1013
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,079
of the audience,
going "Oh my God..."
1014
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,600
"Skinhead!"
1015
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:16,799
Falcon was going mad about it.
1016
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,240
We all laughed our heads off.
1017
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,560
She said she didn't
want to be a sex symbol.
1018
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,479
And she'd said if she ever
thought she was turning into one,
1019
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:25,640
she'd shave her hair off.
1020
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:27,080
And that's what she did.
1021
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:36,999
She wasn't the first woman
1022
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,480
to shave her head
in an act of defiance,
1023
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,519
and she certainly
wouldn't be the last.
1024
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,720
It was a powerful statement,
1025
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,000
but it was also a cry for help.
1026
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,040
She really needed a break.
1027
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,839
There was so much
pressure on her
1028
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,480
to keep doing it.
1029
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,040
Something had to give.
1030
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,040
The moment
that changed me forever
1031
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,120
was seeing a Day-Glo UFO
1032
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,040
in Doncaster one night
after a concert.
1033
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,560
It was a bright ball
of luminous pink,
1034
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,680
made of energy, like a fireball.
1035
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,240
Everyone else thought
I'd lost the plot.
1036
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:37,480
It was the
last leg of their tour.
1037
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,359
She'd gone up
to her hotel room after the gig.
1038
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:42,600
And she said all of a sudden,
1039
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:46,879
she saw this bright light
in the sky,
1040
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:48,600
in the night sky, that...
1041
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:50,720
didn't appear to be a star.
1042
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:52,759
It seemed to be moving,
1043
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:53,800
getting bigger and bigger,
1044
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,640
and what's more,
it was coming towards her.
1045
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,360
And it zoomed
right up to the window
1046
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:00,920
and seemed to be
probing the room,
1047
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,799
hovering there,
taking it all in,
1048
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,800
and she's sat there,
like, frozen.
1049
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,456
She'd said at
breakfast time the next day,
1050
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,239
"Oh, I saw
a flying saucer outside."
1051
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:16,960
It's told me to give up
1052
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,720
"the electric
and plastic way of life."
1053
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,520
"Go for a simple life."
1054
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,560
We said,
"What are you on about?"
1055
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,679
Took no notice, got in the car.
1056
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,439
And in the car, she started
taking her clothes off,
1057
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,079
saying, "I want to go back",
1058
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,560
I want to be Marianne,
I want to go back."
1059
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,440
She was a
very, very sensitive person.
1060
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,680
And she
was almost like a sponge.
1061
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,640
She would absorb
1062
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:50,880
lots of things
which were going around her,
1063
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:53,480
for better or for worse.
1064
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:59,159
When you put somebody
which is so hyper-sensitive
1065
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,559
and so open and so intelligent,
1066
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,680
and then you put them
in this environment
1067
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,199
where there's
all this different mix of people
1068
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,519
wanting different things,
1069
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,320
'cos, you know,
she was a commodity as well...
1070
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,640
it wasn't a conducive place
for her to be
1071
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,079
for who she was.
1072
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,256
I mean, she was telling
me when she was even younger,
1073
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,719
when she was
like three years old,
1074
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:32,040
she thought that, you know, she'd
met some people from outer space.
1075
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,279
She was such a high being.
1076
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,480
A very high, spiritual being,
1077
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,520
even when she
went off the rockers.
1078
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,159
I mean, I remember
when we were walking through
1079
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,400
Kensington Gardens
one afternoon.
1080
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,160
She saw these crows.
1081
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,680
You know,
she says that they're...
1082
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:54,839
Like the Vikings used to say
1083
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:56,200
they were the eyes of Odin,
1084
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,119
and all that.
1085
01:01:58,120 --> 01:01:59,960
She said, "Watch them,
they're watching us."
1086
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:08,240
People started
saying she'd lost the plot,
1087
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,400
that she'd gone mad.
1088
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,199
But she didn't see it that way.
1089
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,079
She felt that
she was going through
1090
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,240
some kind
of spiritual awakening.
1091
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,679
That she could see things
1092
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,840
that others
were too blind to see.
1093
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,359
My mother
thought I was hallucinating,
1094
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,720
and I was put in the Maudsley.
1095
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,199
'Cos if you see things
and hear voices,
1096
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,360
you are considered
to have schizophrenia.
1097
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,560
The first time she saw
herself singing on the telly,
1098
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,840
she was on a psychiatric ward.
1099
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,280
Men in white coats
carted her away
1100
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:05,200
after an episode.
1101
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,600
There were lots of episodes.
1102
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,400
One worse than the other.
1103
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,680
She was misdiagnosed
with schizophrenia
1104
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:25,240
when in fact she was suffering
from acute bipolar disorder.
1105
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:36,560
It felt like a bad omen.
1106
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,280
Like I was
doing something wrong.
1107
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:42,880
Misguiding people.
1108
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,279
I was dealing with a lot,
1109
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:49,200
and then to be given
a label like that,
1110
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,400
only to find out later
that I wasn't,
1111
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,560
and that they had got it wrong,
was really difficult.
1112
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:00,360
They said to me,
1113
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:03,656
"You're a young girl
who has got out of her depth
1114
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:06,600
and you will never
be able to work again."
1115
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:12,320
That is a very hard thing
to be told at 21.
1116
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:19,399
I'm sorry I
didn't treat her very good.
1117
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:21,720
I wasn't really
sympathetic at the time.
1118
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:25,880
I was worried,
but mainly for my own self.
1119
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:28,000
Selfish.
1120
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,479
The only
thing that really worked
1121
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:40,680
were the drugs they gave her
when she was sectioned.
1122
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:44,999
They would pin her down
and inject her
1123
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,319
with tranquillisers
1124
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,080
strong enough
to knock a horse out.
1125
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,320
I saw my mum
being sedated many times.
1126
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,999
I must have been
about four years old
1127
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:00,640
when I realised
something wasn't right.
1128
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:07,480
Suddenly I was able to detect
the changes in her mood,
1129
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:12,320
the constant cycle
of elation and despair.
1130
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,720
I'll never forget those nights
1131
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:21,960
when the sensation
that someone was watching me
1132
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:26,000
was so strong
that I'd wake up in a panic,
1133
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:30,600
only to see her shadow
at the foot of my bed.
1134
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,199
She'd stand
in the corner of my room
1135
01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:37,400
watching me as I slept...
1136
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,680
her eyes wide with fear.
1137
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,920
I was scared too,
1138
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:48,880
scared of her.
1139
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:09,079
I know your antiseptic
1140
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:12,999
Your deodorant smells nice
1141
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,480
The show must go on, they said.
1142
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,080
So, she tried to
keep it together.
1143
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:21,520
Keep singing, keep performing.
1144
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,880
The medication
helped for a period,
1145
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,079
but she was starting
to push back
1146
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:29,440
against the pressure.
1147
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,399
To keep up the façade
of Poly Styrene.
1148
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,599
I'm like an
actress that's something else.
1149
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,239
On stage I'm one thing
1150
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,000
and off stage
I'm something else.
1151
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:45,800
But most people are not.
1152
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,240
I just consider myself
as a person first,
1153
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:51,839
and anything else,
1154
01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:53,880
what anybody else
might call you, well,
1155
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,776
they're just names,
really, aren't they?
1156
01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,319
Just given to trends and people
1157
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:01,680
and things like that.
1158
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:24,839
I think a lot of people thought,
1159
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,840
"Oh, Poly Styrene's gone mad."
1160
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:29,800
She had a brilliant band,
1161
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:31,440
she had all the success,
1162
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,840
and suddenly
just walked away from it.
1163
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,976
It took an
incredible amount of strength
1164
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,000
for my mum to walk away
from X-Ray Spex,
1165
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,200
the band she herself
had put together,
1166
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:53,520
the band that was doing so well.
1167
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:57,160
They were at the height
of their success.
1168
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,519
I think she understood that
1169
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:04,440
the only way she could
continue to exist
1170
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,280
as an authentic person,
1171
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:10,040
as someone
who was true to herself,
1172
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:14,040
was to kill the persona
she'd created.
1173
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,599
Poly Styrene had to die
1174
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,600
so Marianne Elliott
could survive.
1175
01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:43,119
"Read Time magazine"
1176
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,720
over continental breakfast
in the south of France.
1177
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,280
Genetic possibilities
filled glossy pages.
1178
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,279
On a golden stretch
of sand in Cannes,
1179
01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:57,760
I worshipped the sun god,
1180
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:01,880
"in a sunshine yellow
towelling bikini."
1181
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,440
When I'd met her,
1182
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:08,399
she'd been
in a convalescence place
1183
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,800
to get over the traumas.
1184
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,760
I was staying in a flat,
just off the King's Road,
1185
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:20,760
and one night, we walked past
this quite flashy designer shop.
1186
01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:24,120
And she was outside,
looking in the window.
1187
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:30,440
She was dressed in
a sort of '50s-type flared skirt
1188
01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:33,199
and hair sort of
straightened and long
1189
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:34,320
and white stilettos.
1190
01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:38,639
Anyway, I thought,
"I can't let this go."
1191
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,600
So as we were
walking past, I said,
1192
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:42,279
"Ah, you're Poly,"
1193
01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:44,440
and invited her to come
and have a drink with us.
1194
01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:58,400
All alone In a tropical garden
1195
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:07,160
Parakeet trills Slowly harden
1196
01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:11,720
It was all rather whirlwind.
1197
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:15,240
They were
inseparable for a time.
1198
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:19,280
They didn't even tell anyone
when they got married
1199
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:22,840
at the Chelsea Registry Office
on the King's Road.
1200
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:26,296
Oh, yeah, we got married.
1201
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:28,120
We got married in the September,
1202
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,040
we only met in June.
1203
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,599
After, I dunno,
three months of meeting Poly
1204
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:36,200
she was pregnant.
1205
01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,400
Mum was 24
years old when I was born.
1206
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:45,760
She told me that having me
was the best thing she ever did.
1207
01:10:46,480 --> 01:10:48,920
But motherhood was a challenge.
1208
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,440
Her mental
health was still fragile
1209
01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:57,880
and there were times
when she couldn't look after me.
1210
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:03,960
It was hard for my father,
he was so young.
1211
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,880
They were both kids, really.
1212
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,560
I knew that
Poly had been admitted,
1213
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,360
you know,
sectioned and all that.
1214
01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:15,760
I still loved her, though.
1215
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:19,120
I'm obviously gonna
stick it out no matter what.
1216
01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:27,880
Just as I met her,
1217
01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:30,280
her album was coming out,
Translucence.
1218
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:32,080
The solo album.
1219
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:35,760
If you listen to the lyrics,
it's totally different.
1220
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:39,719
How you make such a jump
from that power pop
1221
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:43,440
to something almost akin
to Joan Armatrading?
1222
01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:52,056
It seemed like she'd been
1223
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,720
through some kind of trauma.
1224
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:59,080
And music was her way
of dealing with that.
1225
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:07,759
For people that have had
bad times in life in some way,
1226
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,799
music can be a way of,
like, healing themselves.
1227
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:13,480
She was after that
in her own music.
1228
01:12:15,480 --> 01:12:17,679
So, I was
there for all the interviews,
1229
01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:19,799
and, you know,
journalists coming 'round.
1230
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:21,640
But their reviews
were really damning.
1231
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:27,040
Like totally. Like,
"What is this bollocks?" almost.
1232
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,799
EMI, dismayed
1233
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:33,960
at the negative
response from the press,
1234
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,680
said "That's it."
1235
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:37,679
They obviously had the option
on their side.
1236
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,439
Now it just went
from bad to worse,
1237
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:55,880
to be honest with you.
1238
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:57,840
I was on the dole.
1239
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:01,840
There was mass unemployment
back then, really.
1240
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:04,360
We ended up at my mum's
1241
01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:06,600
and then her mum's,
1242
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,600
and then,
she'd had enough of it.
1243
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,480
She went off to lndia.
1244
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,360
And Celeste and I,
we stayed at my mum's.
1245
01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:21,999
I think she really decided then
1246
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:25,040
she was gonna go head-first
into the Indian scene.
1247
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:28,879
She started dressing
like proper saris
1248
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,120
and with a dot on the forehead.
1249
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:34,760
And so she went back to London
1250
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,280
and threw her lot in
with the Hare Krishna.
1251
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,080
And I mean everything,
all her furniture, everything.
1252
01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:43,440
Moved in with them.
1253
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:48,439
This is Bhaktivedanta
Manor in Hertfordshire,
1254
01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:50,560
European Headquarters
of the Hare Krishna movement.
1255
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,680
George Harrison
bought it for them last year.
1256
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,359
Most of their day
is spent worshipping Krishna
1257
01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:00,039
and learning his philosophy
of perfect consciousness.
1258
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:05,839
I think it was The
Beatles and George Harrison,
1259
01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:07,440
that's how we got into it.
1260
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:10,280
She was a hippie, really.
1261
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:12,520
Too sensitive for the world.
1262
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:18,000
She needed something to give her
some stability in her life.
1263
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:26,799
I was a small child
1264
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:29,080
when we went
to live in the manor.
1265
01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:33,200
I understand
why she wanted us to live there,
1266
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,360
surrounded by nature,
1267
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:38,960
and full of little
Hare Krishna children
1268
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,480
I could play with.
1269
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:44,120
She changed her name yet again.
1270
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:46,319
This time it was a name
1271
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:49,640
given to her
by her guru, Bhagavan.
1272
01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,920
Now she went by Maharani.
1273
01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:58,560
He gave me a name too,
Radha Shakti.
1274
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:03,759
X-Ray Spex saxophone player
Lora Logic
1275
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:05,439
joined the Hare Krishna movement
1276
01:15:05,440 --> 01:15:08,040
at around the same time
as my mum.
1277
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:13,559
They'd fallen out after Mum
cruelly sacked her from the band
1278
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:15,120
during the Roxy era,
1279
01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:20,720
but they found a common purpose
in Krishna consciousness,
1280
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:22,680
which brought them
back together.
1281
01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:25,999
I don't
think it was coincidence,
1282
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:28,079
I think it was highly planned
1283
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:31,600
by the universal laws,
'cos nothing's an accident.
1284
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,000
But I was a bit surprised.
1285
01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:39,119
We had to relate
on the platform of the fact
1286
01:15:39,120 --> 01:15:41,360
that we were equal spirit souls,
1287
01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:47,080
and a platform where
there's no false ego or pride.
1288
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:51,240
Yeah, she changed,
she changed a lot.
1289
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:55,639
I went to
the Hare Krishna temple
1290
01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:57,720
with her a few times,
actually into the temple.
1291
01:15:58,400 --> 01:16:00,400
And she was very different
in the temple.
1292
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,640
She was very hypnotised by it.
1293
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:07,200
The Hare Krishna kind of
saved her in a sense,
1294
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:10,600
it gave her
another world to exist in.
1295
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:15,479
She's fragile, you know,
1296
01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:17,560
and I think they provided
a family for her,
1297
01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:19,240
and a comfort.
1298
01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:22,479
More than punk, than music,
more than being creative,
1299
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,959
the Hare Krishna was
a central pillar of her life,
1300
01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:26,680
and it was
really important to her.
1301
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,440
As hard as she tried,
1302
01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:41,680
my mother couldn't completely
escape her past life.
1303
01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:47,080
Those past traumas
continued to haunt her,
1304
01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:51,039
and she would suffer
a series of nervous breakdowns
1305
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,440
during our time in the temple.
1306
01:16:57,800 --> 01:17:00,440
She was very
mentally unstable then,
1307
01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:02,679
and she looked so disturbed.
1308
01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:08,640
It was probably triggered
by so many things: hormones,
1309
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:10,839
giving birth,
1310
01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:12,199
and then
the whole new experience
1311
01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:14,120
of living in a temple.
1312
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:20,120
She used to do some
wacky things in the temple.
1313
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:22,159
I mean, she'd be, like,
1314
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:23,800
in the temple room
with no clothes on.
1315
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:28,639
She'd be chasing
celibate monks around,
1316
01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:30,200
who were in their pyjamas.
1317
01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:33,959
She went to lndia,
1318
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:38,239
and she'd have to be
put on a plane and flown home
1319
01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:41,200
because she completely lost it.
1320
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:46,040
I think a lot of it
was just due to lack of sleep.
1321
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:47,400
She didn't sleep.
1322
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:52,200
She didn't know how to
look after herself very well.
1323
01:17:53,440 --> 01:17:55,720
It's like she was
never quite in her body,
1324
01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:59,160
she was always somewhere else.
1325
01:18:00,480 --> 01:18:02,720
It was probably
all too much for her.
1326
01:18:08,680 --> 01:18:11,200
Our heaven had become a hell,
1327
01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:14,520
and it was
about to get much worse.
1328
01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:20,480
We moved into a house
near the temple,
1329
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:22,639
and my mother eventually
1330
01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:24,400
took me out
of the children's ashram,
1331
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:29,200
which was a kind of
Hare Krishna boarding school.
1332
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:32,800
I was truly isolated now.
1333
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:37,200
She hadn't been able
to leave the house for weeks,
1334
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:39,480
and my little stomach
1335
01:18:39,520 --> 01:18:41,880
was as empty
as the kitchen cupboards.
1336
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:47,680
One day I climbed out of
my bedroom window
1337
01:18:48,760 --> 01:18:51,280
and left home
with the social workers.
1338
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,760
The nosy neighbours
were concerned for my welfare.
1339
01:18:58,800 --> 01:18:59,840
I had to leave,
1340
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,440
for the sake
of my own mental health.
1341
01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:07,360
I know it broke her heart.
1342
01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:10,280
I abandoned my mother
1343
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:12,880
and the world
she had created for me.
1344
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:18,720
And it had been
a beautiful world, Mataji.
1345
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:45,799
I was eight years old
1346
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:47,520
when I went to live
with my grandmother,
1347
01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:51,199
who was eventually
granted custody of me
1348
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:53,600
after a long
and bitter court case.
1349
01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,840
It was clear
Mum had neglected me.
1350
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:01,679
I was three and a half stone
1351
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:03,760
when I was removed
from her care.
1352
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,880
I needed years of therapy.
1353
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:15,000
To say that I was an angry kid
1354
01:20:15,040 --> 01:20:16,760
would be an understatement.
1355
01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:20,920
I told the court
I wanted to live with my nan,
1356
01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:23,359
the ultimate betrayal
1357
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,399
as far as my mother
was concerned.
1358
01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:35,880
Our relationship
was pretty rough for a while,
1359
01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:41,040
lots of shouting,
slammed doors and angry tears.
1360
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:46,440
She pushed me
down the stairs once,
1361
01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:49,360
and I never let her forget it.
1362
01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:55,320
She wasn't in her right
mind of course,
1363
01:20:56,280 --> 01:20:59,920
but I blamed her for ever
bringing me into this world.
1364
01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:07,880
But time is the greatest
healer, they say.
1365
01:21:09,480 --> 01:21:11,239
And we eventually
1366
01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:13,400
found it in our hearts
to forgive one another.
1367
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:20,560
She moved to Hastings
in the early 2000s
1368
01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:23,480
and I moved to Madrid,
1369
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:26,719
but despite,
1370
01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:30,320
or maybe thanks to being
thousands of miles apart,
1371
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:32,920
we were closer than ever.
1372
01:21:36,240 --> 01:21:38,080
The slow pace of the town
1373
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:40,040
and the calming effect
of the sea
1374
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:43,239
restored a kind
of mental balance
1375
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:45,640
my mother had lost
all those years ago.
1376
01:21:49,040 --> 01:21:51,840
She was refreshed and energised,
1377
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:55,680
ready to start
creating once more.
1378
01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:01,480
She was even ready
to get on stage,
1379
01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:06,000
something she had sworn
she would never do again.
1380
01:22:56,120 --> 01:23:00,079
How do you feel now?
1381
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:02,800
I want to know
1382
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:06,119
Clear as a crystal
1383
01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:10,000
I can see your face
1384
01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:13,079
I think it was Poly's last gig,
1385
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:14,439
which none of us were to know.
1386
01:23:14,440 --> 01:23:16,599
But I remember
she was on fine form,
1387
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:19,256
and you gotta understand, I hadn't
seen her since the Roxy days.
1388
01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:21,040
And she'd
been through a whole load
1389
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,560
of trials and tribulations.
1390
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:24,920
And to see her
come through all of that,
1391
01:23:26,040 --> 01:23:28,079
it looked like
the sky was the limit,
1392
01:23:28,080 --> 01:23:29,480
and that there was
1393
01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:31,640
a whole new lease
of life in front of her.
1394
01:23:35,480 --> 01:23:37,056
Up until a few hours before,
1395
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,960
I never really was sure
if she was gonna do it.
1396
01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:43,640
It was very, very difficult
for her to get the confidence.
1397
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:49,240
Mum had been
taking medication on and off
1398
01:23:49,280 --> 01:23:50,760
for her bipolar disorder
1399
01:23:51,640 --> 01:23:53,440
since her first breakdown.
1400
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:56,640
I'd always felt that
1401
01:23:56,680 --> 01:23:58,961
she didn't take her meds
as often as she should have,
1402
01:23:59,640 --> 01:24:03,040
and it was a real source
of contention between us.
1403
01:24:04,480 --> 01:24:06,199
She felt the medication
1404
01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:09,800
had a dampening effect
on her creative expression.
1405
01:24:11,320 --> 01:24:13,120
But she realised
1406
01:24:13,160 --> 01:24:15,880
she wouldn't be able to get
through the gig without it.
1407
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:21,959
She was terrified that
the anxiety of performing live
1408
01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:24,800
would lead to
yet another breakdown.
1409
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:28,399
But despite all that,
1410
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:30,600
she gathered
the courage she needed
1411
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:34,080
to get on stage
in front of thousands of people.
1412
01:24:35,440 --> 01:24:38,640
And even if she was
pretty heavily medicated,
1413
01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:41,040
she kicked arse out there,
1414
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:43,560
gave it all she had.
1415
01:24:44,480 --> 01:24:46,599
I was so proud of her.
1416
01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,519
One, two, three, four!
1417
01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:52,679
I joined her on stage
1418
01:24:52,680 --> 01:24:55,640
for an encore
of "Oh Bondage Up Yours!".
1419
01:24:57,120 --> 01:24:58,920
It was beyond amazing.
1420
01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:03,200
Bind me,
tie me Chain me to the wall
1421
01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:05,560
I wanna be A slave to you all
1422
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:08,239
Oh bondage, up yours!
1423
01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:10,679
Oh bondage, no more!
1424
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:13,359
Oh bondage, up yours!
1425
01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:15,479
Oh bondage, no more!
1426
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:44,840
Now the moment
had come, I felt strange.
1427
01:25:46,480 --> 01:25:48,880
Half scared, half excited.
1428
01:25:51,440 --> 01:25:53,399
It was weird
looking at the things
1429
01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:55,560
I'd always taken for granted.
1430
01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,640
Never bothered to think about.
1431
01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:03,840
Things like pets,
1432
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,120
friends,
1433
01:26:08,680 --> 01:26:10,320
places I went to.
1434
01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:15,600
But I knew I had to go then,
or I never would.
1435
01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:24,319
She had just finished recording
1436
01:26:24,320 --> 01:26:27,520
a new album, Generation Indigo,
1437
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:29,199
when we found out
1438
01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:30,920
she had breast cancer.
1439
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:33,959
Those last months,
1440
01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:35,759
when we were blissfully unaware
1441
01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:38,360
of the disease that had
already spread to her bones,
1442
01:26:39,240 --> 01:26:40,560
were some of the happiest times
1443
01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,560
I ever spent with my mother.
1444
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,280
We worked together on the album,
1445
01:26:46,400 --> 01:26:48,800
writing and recording
new tracks.
1446
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:51,560
She was in her element, really,
1447
01:26:52,320 --> 01:26:53,320
doing what she knew best.
1448
01:26:54,680 --> 01:26:57,120
And I was so lucky
to be able to do it with her.
1449
01:26:58,720 --> 01:27:02,440
I hit the button called send
1450
01:27:02,480 --> 01:27:05,279
You're my virtual boyfriend
1451
01:27:05,280 --> 01:27:08,600
You're like a MySpace friend
That's all
1452
01:27:09,440 --> 01:27:12,679
Just a text or a missed call
1453
01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:17,040
I just thought it was funny, 'cos everybody
were having these relationships online.
1454
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,400
And it's great,
but you never see each other.
1455
01:27:20,440 --> 01:27:22,279
Well, you probably do sometimes.
1456
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:23,479
But I just thought,
1457
01:27:23,480 --> 01:27:25,679
why not write
a love song about that?
1458
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:28,240
You're not meeting,
but you're actually...
1459
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:31,200
And then at the end,
just press delete to end.
1460
01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:33,799
I found working with her
1461
01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:36,040
very life-affirming.
1462
01:27:37,360 --> 01:27:40,040
Even when she was
at death's door, ironically.
1463
01:27:41,240 --> 01:27:45,480
She had a great
spiritual perception
1464
01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:48,440
that was wrought
from hard experience.
1465
01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:16,080
I finally took
my mum's ashes to India,
1466
01:28:16,640 --> 01:28:18,160
to Vrindavan,
1467
01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:21,720
the holy city on the banks
of the Yamuna River,
1468
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:25,280
the place
where Krishna was born.
1469
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:29,000
This was her last request.
1470
01:28:39,280 --> 01:28:43,320
Being there was almost
metamorphic for me.
1471
01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:46,720
I saw with my own eyes
1472
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:49,480
everything she had told me
about the place.
1473
01:28:52,000 --> 01:28:55,240
Everywhere I went,
I felt her presence,
1474
01:28:56,520 --> 01:29:00,440
and I was able to understand her
a little better.
1475
01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:15,360
She'd wanted to take me there
for many years.
1476
01:29:16,440 --> 01:29:18,999
But a spiritual pilgrimage
to India
1477
01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:22,360
didn't have much appeal
when I was a teenager.
1478
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:26,999
I went through a period
1479
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:30,320
where I rejected everything
that my mum cared about,
1480
01:29:31,640 --> 01:29:34,480
including her religious beliefs.
1481
01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:55,440
I was angry for a long time.
1482
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,560
I felt my mum
hadn't lived up to my idea
1483
01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:04,080
of what a good mother should be.
1484
01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:09,719
I just wished
I had normal parents
1485
01:30:09,720 --> 01:30:11,440
and a normal childhood,
1486
01:30:12,720 --> 01:30:15,840
where my mother
didn't have a mental illness,
1487
01:30:16,520 --> 01:30:18,320
wasn't a Hare Krishna,
1488
01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:20,560
had a regular job,
1489
01:30:21,680 --> 01:30:24,920
didn't have
so many crazy friends.
1490
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:31,239
But by the time I started
to really appreciate
1491
01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:34,639
how lucky I was
to have such a remarkable woman
1492
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:37,080
as a mother and a role model,
1493
01:30:37,680 --> 01:30:39,560
it was too late.
1494
01:30:40,560 --> 01:30:42,960
She was leaving her body.
1495
01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:51,920
Everything
about her was inspirational.
1496
01:30:53,080 --> 01:30:55,719
She was born an inspiration.
1497
01:30:55,720 --> 01:30:58,039
She was, she was just...
1498
01:30:58,040 --> 01:30:59,879
That's who she was.
1499
01:30:59,880 --> 01:31:01,920
That's who she was.
1500
01:31:06,280 --> 01:31:07,719
The legacy of someone like Poly
1501
01:31:07,720 --> 01:31:10,040
cannot be overstated.
1502
01:31:10,640 --> 01:31:12,000
What she did
1503
01:31:12,040 --> 01:31:13,960
stands as a great example
for women,
1504
01:31:14,720 --> 01:31:17,240
not only in the 21st century,
I think it'll stand forever.
1505
01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:20,040
Because she was brave, man.
1506
01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:25,096
There is something
1507
01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:27,039
in Poly's sound
and in her voice,
1508
01:31:27,040 --> 01:31:28,999
in her expression, in her lyrics
1509
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,520
and in who she was.
1510
01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:33,439
You could say
it's anti-establishment,
1511
01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:36,759
or it's anti-this and anti-...
But for me it was like,
1512
01:31:36,760 --> 01:31:38,839
I could see
that it was possible.
1513
01:31:38,840 --> 01:31:40,720
That it was important
1514
01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:44,639
to fight against
the predictable holes
1515
01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:47,600
that we are all surrounded by
as human beings,
1516
01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:49,400
but particularly women.
1517
01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:56,839
For me, her
legacy was to open up the box,
1518
01:31:56,840 --> 01:31:58,839
give everyone new tools,
1519
01:31:58,840 --> 01:32:02,480
and new ideas
and new possibilities.
1520
01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:08,096
The world is playing catch-up
1521
01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:09,559
with Poly Styrene,
1522
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:11,200
not the other way around.
1523
01:32:15,400 --> 01:32:17,839
When I saw her,
like, three days before she passed,
1524
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:19,199
she said to me,
1525
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,879
"You see the lights
on the trees?"
1526
01:32:20,880 --> 01:32:23,360
"Every one of those lights
is like a soul who's passed."
1527
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:25,840
There was something out there
1528
01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:27,640
and in the
not-too-distant future
1529
01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:29,240
she was going to be part of.
1530
01:32:37,480 --> 01:32:39,759
I remember
the last time I saw her
1531
01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:41,720
like it was yesterday.
1532
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:47,080
A piece of me died that day.
1533
01:32:49,160 --> 01:32:50,719
I cried even though
1534
01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:54,040
my Mum always told me
not to cry for the dead.
1535
01:32:58,880 --> 01:33:01,520
She said
it's just the beginning,
1536
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:05,680
even if it feels like the end.
1537
01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:30,720
I am a cliché.
1538
01:33:41,880 --> 01:33:43,960
I'm a cliché I'm a cliché
1539
01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,679
I'm a cliché I'm a cliché
1540
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,879
I'm a cliché You've seen before
1541
01:33:47,880 --> 01:33:49,640
I'm a cliché Live next door
1542
01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:51,840
I'm a cliché
You know what I mean
1543
01:33:51,880 --> 01:33:54,040
I'm a cliché Pink is obscene
1544
01:33:55,600 --> 01:33:57,879
Huri yama yama Huri yama yama
1545
01:33:57,880 --> 01:33:59,879
Boredom, boredom
1546
01:33:59,880 --> 01:34:01,839
Huri yama yama Huri yama yama
1547
01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:04,120
Boredom, boredom
118007
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