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1
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,672
(WOMAN MOANING)
2
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,177
I think you have the wrong room.
3
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,096
That, sir, is my wife.
4
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,730
Uh-huh, I must apologise.
5
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:45,189
Nothing in her conduct made me think she'd
ever been satisfied before. (CHUCKLES)
6
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,784
A-ha.
7
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,708
Gentlemen.
8
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:03,876
We are here to honour our friend,
Henry Sebastian Aldershot,
9
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,090
Seventh Duke of Carlisle,
10
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,514
known to us as Lord Riot.
11
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:18,222
The best scholar
at the world's greatest university.
12
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,020
He did nothing without joy,
13
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,063
and everything to excess.
14
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,566
(SNIFFS)
15
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:33,283
Wingspan! This is, gentlemen, key.
16
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,457
A true hedonist,
who dazzled us with debauchery.
17
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,581
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
- (ALL LAUGHING)
18
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,588
His appetites knew no earthly bounds.
19
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,998
(WOMEN GIGGLING)
20
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:49,216
No man was better loved by all he met,
21
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:55,180
nor gave his time more generously.
22
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,101
Get down, get down!
23
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,144
We thought to see him
Lord Chief Justice one day.
24
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:07,272
But you live by the sword,
you die by the sword.
25
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,608
And, friends, Lord Riot died this morning.
26
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,493
- Legend.
- Mmm.
27
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,289
He will not be forgotten.
28
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,620
MAN 1: He will not.
MAN 2: Ever.
29
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,170
We will gather the brightest,
30
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,998
the boldest and the best
31
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:30,587
to eat till we are sick at
the full table of life,
32
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,131
and never to fade from glory.
33
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,512
(MEN CHEERING)
34
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:40,308
And we will call ourselves
35
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,349
the Riot Club.
36
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,275
ALL: The Riot Club!
37
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,985
(GLASS SHATTERING)
38
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,847
MAN 1: I am an alumnus of this college...
MAN 2: I'm terribly sorry, sir.
39
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,308
- Dad, the other one's fine.
- That room is minute.
40
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,518
- You couldn't swing a kitten.
- Mum...
41
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,942
Let Daddy sort it out, Alistair.
42
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,528
I'm sorry, I think this is me.
43
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,861
This was my room, and
my elder son's room till last year...
44
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,441
I don't mind swapping,
45
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,947
if this one has sentimental value.
46
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,114
There we are. Isn't that nice, Alistair?
47
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:51,129
- Well, it's very decent of you.
- No worries.
48
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,210
Follow me, then.
49
00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,597
What if I don't want Seb's old room?
50
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,267
Your brother was top dog in this college
51
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,065
and you want to live in a rabbit hutch?
52
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,230
Just on the left here.
53
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,741
And it's that one there.
54
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,112
You'll find it hasn't got a Jacuzzi.
55
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:21,913
I'm sure it's fine.
56
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,585
Oh, shit!
57
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,092
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
58
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,427
We used to make things up there,
now we just sell things.
59
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,556
But don't businesses sink or swim,
if an industry's become untenable?
60
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,015
So why did we bail out the banks, then?
61
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,938
It's different, isn't it?
62
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,691
- You're talking about manufacturing...
- Oh, do you want some?
63
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,687
- Sorry, I'm Lauren.
- Miles.
64
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:58,033
- They're serving champagne?
- No, I brought it.
65
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,281
I thought, you know, big day.
66
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,620
What, is it plonk?
67
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,035
No, no, it's lovely.
68
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:13,882
Mate, I'm sorry you ended up
in the prison block...
69
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,550
- Ah...
- My father is...
70
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,753
- Are you in the new building?
- Yeah.
71
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,717
- I'm in the new building.
- (CHUCKLES)
72
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:23,972
Actually, the New Building
is the Palladian style one
73
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,145
they built in the 1700s next to the chapel.
74
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,138
There weren't any girls
at your school, were there?
75
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,939
Don't worry, they're just
like us, but cleverer.
76
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,359
Nice cape, by the way.
77
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,190
Thanks.
78
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,401
- Versace.
- Is it now?
79
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,578
- Mm-hm.
- Oh, I could tell.
80
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,623
Oh, the innocence.
81
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:53,585
Is my gown inside out, am I brighter,
sexier, funnier than I was at school?
82
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,631
You were a fresher once.
83
00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:01,096
- Care to join me in a game of Spot the Virgin?
- Too easy.
84
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,596
- It'll be a damn sight harder by tomorrow.
- (CHUCKLES)
85
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,611
MILES: Amazing up here, isn't it?
LAUREN: Mmm.
86
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,413
MILES: I swear, being in Oxford, it's...
87
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,789
It's like being invited to 100 parties,
all at once.
88
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,916
And I wanna go to all of them, you know?
89
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,168
Yeah. (SIGHS)
90
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,510
I mean, look at this.
91
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,222
We are so lucky.
92
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,928
My dad cried, you know, when I told him
I got into Oxford.
93
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,641
Maybe it was just the tuition fees.
94
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:01,440
See, my dad would've cried
if I hadn't got into Oxford.
95
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,571
My whole family come here.
96
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,413
My little brother, he's
13 and he can't wait.
97
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:14,127
Miles, are you posh?
98
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,505
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
99
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,091
Just normal.
100
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,385
You've got quite a posh name.
101
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,096
MILES: Miles Davis.
102
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,766
My parents were listening
to Kind of Blue when I was conceived.
103
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,975
Good job my parents didn't do that,
they'd have named me Gary Barlow.
104
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,806
(BOTH LAUGHING)
105
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,447
- So where did you go to school?
- Uh, Westminster.
106
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,284
Oh, so not posh at all, then.
107
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,423
I've got a bottle of
tequila back in my room
108
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,761
if you wanted to come back after...
109
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:17,979
Let's not spend three years avoiding
the person we shagged in Freshers' Week.
110
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,161
Lady Marmalade.
111
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,115
- Oh, I know. Look at you. I know.
- (DOG BARKS)
112
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,376
It's not long, I'll be back for Christmas.
113
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,920
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Mummy. There you are.
114
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,588
- Bye, Mummy.
- Bye, darling.
115
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,290
(STRAIN ED GRUNTS)
116
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,303
- Balfour, let me give you a hand there.
- Oh, thanks, mate, hello there.
117
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,556
- Back to school, isn't it? Thanks ever so.
- Yeah.
118
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:56,764
Listen, Balfour, am I right in thinking
you might be a member of the Riot Club?
119
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,316
Well, you know, not supposed to say really,
120
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,977
cloak and dagger, and all that.
121
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,362
Yeah, well, it's just...
122
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:08,533
I was wondering how I might
go about applying for membership.
123
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,567
Yes.
124
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,205
Um, the thing is...
125
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:18,331
(STAMMERS) And I'm terribly sorry about
this, but I'm afraid if you've got to ask,
126
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,212
you're not really the right sort of chap.
127
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,540
Right.
128
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,677
Guard, ready. Fence.
129
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,257
MAN: Come on.
130
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,891
(CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
131
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:36,978
(CROWD CHEERING)
132
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,897
- Darling.
- Does this hurt?
133
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,231
Gosh, is he OK?
134
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,828
MAN: You have no difficulties
with the time frame?
135
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,246
None, absolutely none.
136
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,330
And I'm keen to start an internship straight
after my finals, don't need a holiday.
137
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:03,414
You're not the son of Jonty
Leighton-Masters, are you?
138
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,423
My father casts rather a long shadow.
139
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,089
I want to strike out on my own,
start at the bottom somewhere.
140
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,926
I'm just very passionate
141
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,933
about corporate finance.
142
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,025
Good luck, guys.
143
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,445
Mate, club meeting.
Can you do the pub tonight at, urn...
144
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,651
- HARRY: Oh, yeah.
- What are you doing?
145
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,576
Sort of a post-match debrief.
146
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,284
Right. OK, 7:30, pub, can you do it?
147
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,120
I'll be there.
148
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,500
I just find it really annoying when people
ask me what school I went to.
149
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,174
- Yeah. Oh, I hate it.
- I know, I hate it. Yeah, so much.
150
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,717
Which school did you go to?
151
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,679
I just went to a normal school in Cardiff.
152
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,553
- BOY 1: Oh, I've been to Cardiff.
- BOY 2: Oh, fantastic.
153
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,009
BOY 1: I love the Welsh.
154
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,350
- Where did you guys go?
- BOTH: Eton.
155
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,566
Oh, oh my God, oh my God!
156
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:12,400
Um, OK, how do you make an Eton Mess?
157
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,237
Tell him he only got into Bristol.
(CHUCKLING)
158
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,822
My best friend's at Bristol.
159
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,917
It's a very good university.
160
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,039
Hmm.
161
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,250
Uh, so I've... OK.
162
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,834
(BOTH SNIGGER)
163
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,012
- Anyway, why didn't you get a Lamborghini?
- I'm not...
164
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,427
Mate, he's Greek,
he's doing austerity measures.
165
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,138
- This is a beautiful British car.
- Poop poop!
166
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,227
OK, guys, so we got Club dinner coming up.
167
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,853
- Kidney, Leighton?
- No, thanks.
168
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:52,364
Um, and as you know, I'm working on a venue
that can meet our special requirements.
169
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:53,860
Somewhere we haven't
already been banned from.
170
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,908
Obviously, yeah, but I need you
guys to get on with...
171
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,361
- Chaps, squid?
- Here you go!
172
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,700
- Mate, that's fucking rank.
- It's delicious.
173
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,705
So Ed got totally rinsed.
174
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,037
- Guys, this is important.
- What am I doing wrong?
175
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,668
Been on a hosepipe ban all summer.
176
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,875
Maybe if you didn't shark them together
like a couple of schweffes.
177
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,582
I haven't had so little sex
since boarding school.
178
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,258
You had more sex at boarding school.
179
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,052
OK, hands up, who did fuck-all work
over the vac?
180
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,713
Tubes, you worked?
181
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:21,510
Fucking jurisprudence essay,
Dad breathing down my neck.
182
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,973
If I don't get a 2:1...
183
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:26,056
(SPEAKS LATIN)
184
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,644
- Ooh!
- Harsh.
185
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,021
Touché.
186
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,651
Chaps, this is a meeting.
187
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,697
Are we having elections next term?
For the presidency?
188
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,982
Bell-end, you want to be President?
189
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,566
Come on, I'd be awesome.
190
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,526
- (CHUCKLING)
- You'd be gash.
191
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,329
If we don't get any new members,
won't be anything to be President of.
192
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,660
With Sebbers and Gooder leaving last term,
we're down to eight.
193
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,868
Don't we have to have 10?
194
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,581
Hence the meeting.
195
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:52,632
Operation Grasshopper. OK. So,
does anyone have any nominations?
196
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,430
The dinner's closer than you think, guys.
We've got to start initiations, yeah?
197
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:02,513
May I say this is an opportunity to reconsider
the sort of person we're approaching,
198
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,936
really make sure they're
the best and the brightest?
199
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,389
- You mean the prettiest.
- I meant fine minds.
200
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,273
- Kidney, Hugo?
- You see?
201
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,771
Oh, my God, that one last year.
202
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,088
- BOTH: Gay Harry Potter.
- Yeah.
203
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,945
Harry Potter is gay.
He's clearly porking Weasley.
204
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:19,113
Guys! Are we seriously going to be
the only year that couldn't get 10 members?
205
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,786
We're going down in history for that?
206
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:28,035
Did they go to a good school?
Eton, St Paul's, Westminster,
207
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,791
- Harrow, if you have to.
- (EXCLAIMS)
208
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,793
And when push comes to shove,
209
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,925
do they have it in them
to be a fucking legend?
210
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,965
You'll know it when you see it.
211
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,799
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
212
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,183
- WOMAN: Who's gonna get it?
- (SHOUTS)
213
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,860
Come on, come on!
214
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,155
(ALL CHEERING)
215
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,733
(ALL LAUGHING)
216
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,506
Don't scream, don't look at me.
217
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,754
Put in the PIN number and take out 200.
218
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,137
Come on, put in the fuckin' PIN number!
219
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,010
(BEEPING)
220
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,508
(MAN CHEERING IN DISTANCE)
221
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,943
It's actually just "PIN".
222
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:41,858
What?
223
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:47,038
The N stands for number,
it's Personal Identification Number.
224
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:51,831
So, if you say "PIN number",
you're saying "number" twice.
225
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,542
You're saying "Personal Identification
Number number".
226
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,714
(CHUCKLES) It's just wrong!
227
00:15:58,875 --> 00:15:59,876
(GROANS)
228
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,508
- MAN: Think you're fucking clever?
- Jesus, please...
229
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,468
Shut it, you posh twat.
230
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,300
You pompous little prick.
231
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,562
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
232
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,864
You OK, mate?
233
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,832
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Fuck, what happened to your face?
234
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,087
Got mugged.
235
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,878
- Hard luck, mate.
- Look, I'm fine.
236
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,046
- I'm fine. It doesn't matter.
- No, mate.
237
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,048
Come on.
238
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,387
HARRY: What absolute wankers.
239
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,930
ALISTAIR: Get a job, yeah?
240
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:59,152
Shouldn't give you this,
you've probably got a concussion.
241
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,821
Do you know your name and everything?
242
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,274
Alistair Ryle.
243
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,699
- Not related to Sebastian Ryle?
- Yeah, my brother.
244
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,748
Fuck, you're Sebbers' brother? Oh, my wow!
245
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,456
- How come I didn't know you at Eton?
- I was at Harrow.
246
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,211
Ah, well, can't have everything.
247
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,711
Good to meet you.
248
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,517
- (ENGINE REVVING)
- Whoo!
249
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,265
(TYRES SCREECHING)
250
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,139
I say! You ladies need a lift?
251
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,897
- Guys, this is Sebbers' little brother.
- No jokes!
252
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,649
- Hi.
- Hi. Bellingfield.
253
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:42,774
I'm Toby.
254
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,486
Your brother was, like,
the best Riot Club president ever.
255
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,196
Oh, my God, Sebbers was a legend.
256
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,889
How's he doing at Deutsche Bank?
257
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:51,992
Uh, uh, they let him go, actually.
258
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,073
- What?
- Yeah, last in first out, so...
259
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,624
Fuck, what's he doing now?
260
00:17:56,325 --> 00:18:00,922
Uh, says he's going to buy an Airstream,
big old silver caravan thing,
261
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,841
start a business doing street food
at festivals and shit.
262
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,174
- You know, "Really good burgers"?
- (LAUGHING)
263
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,679
Mate, get in.
264
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,681
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
265
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,683
What the fuck happened to your face?
266
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,354
(ENGINE REVVING)
267
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,579
(MOBILE PHONE CHIMING)
268
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,760
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
269
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,517
- Hi.
- Hey.
270
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,820
- Did you ask for an upgrade?
- (GIGGLES)
271
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:09,570
I'm skint.
My tutor's paying me to type his book up.
272
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,530
I've got so much to do.
273
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,697
Can I help?
274
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,778
We really shouldn't be doing this.
275
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,954
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
276
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,165
(MILES GRUNTS)
277
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,086
Mate, what the fuck
was going on in that place tonight?
278
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,721
You can't dance for shit.
279
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,675
Good morning, Oxford!
280
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,430
(ALL LAUGHING)
281
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,765
- Someone put Tubes to bed, yeah?
- How about a sleep?
282
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:21,975
Nice bit of Bedfordshire.
283
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:25,437
The Duke of Bedfordshire!
284
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,818
- I'm the king of the car!
- Whoa!
285
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,147
You're magnificent, now sit down.
286
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,403
Jesus fuck!
287
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,200
(RETCHING)
288
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,244
Not on my coat!
289
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,788
- Oh, bail out!
- (TYRES SCREECHING)
290
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,790
Oh, that fucking, oh, my God...
291
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,747
- Ugh!
- (ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST)
292
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,794
That is hanging.
293
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,880
- Sorry.
- Is it on my hair?
294
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,175
- Bit of a chunderstorm...
- Oh!
295
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,840
Come on, mate...
296
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,933
Fuck it. Ashtray was full anyway.
297
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,719
Thanks, Bell-end.
298
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,026
Mate, the homeless can't drive.
299
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,648
Pudding.
300
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,988
No, dessert.
301
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,827
Toilet.
302
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,238
Toilet?
303
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,369
- (SIGHS) Loo.
- (CHUCKLES)
304
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:27,086
This office is mental.
305
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,591
There are some rooms here, you think,
306
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:37,046
"This is too Oxford even for Oxford",
you know what I mean?
307
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,389
Oh, napkin.
308
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,266
You say "napkin"?
309
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:47,599
No, you say "napkin". We say "serviette".
310
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:48,898
(LAUGHS)
311
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,400
Dick.
312
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,326
Yeah. "Dick".
313
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,205
Big night last night?
314
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:14,834
The usual.
315
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,674
Yeah, I didn't sleep much either.
316
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,893
Good morning.
317
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,513
Please, take a seat.
318
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,836
I won't be interested in excuses
about not having done it
319
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,437
because you're in the college play.
320
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:34,441
If you don't bring an essay
worthy of discussion each week,
321
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,114
you let your partner down
as well as yourself.
322
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:40,443
Your job is to provoke him,
323
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:44,121
challenge him to be more rigorous,
examine every thought.
324
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,790
Any questions?
325
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,583
Do we need to like each other?
326
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:56,792
ALISTAIR: Pull!
327
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,962
- (GUN SHOTS)
- HARRY: Good shot.
328
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,260
How do you bear it, all these tourists?
329
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:05,017
Oh, couldn't afford to get the roof fixed
if they didn't come.
330
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:06,093
Pull!
331
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:07,803
(GUN FIRES)
332
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,306
It's always the roof.
No point getting misty about it.
333
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,142
Our roof's got holes you could fire
a cow through.
334
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,317
Pull!
335
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:15,986
(GUN SHOTS FIRE)
336
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,397
ALISTAIR: Arse biscuits!
337
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:19,902
John Senior Sergeant over here.
338
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:22,485
Which is absolutely beautiful for context.
339
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:25,117
And there's also a Van Dyck up here.
340
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,913
Uh, sorry, sir, you can't go through there.
341
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:32,670
(CHUCKLES)
342
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,258
(GASPS) You're him.
343
00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:45,012
God, I'm so sorry.
344
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:48,344
No harm done, Kerry.
345
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:57,069
And the, uh, Van Dyck which is
346
00:23:58,395 --> 00:23:59,863
a very nice piece.
347
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:04,198
So this my great-great-great grandfather
who was at the first ever club dinner.
348
00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,486
Oh!
349
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,538
And this
350
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,034
is Lord Riot himself.
351
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:15,046
Total fucking legend,
that's what you say, isn't it?
352
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,540
Ryle, this is my uncle Jeremy.
353
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:22,629
Uncle Jezza was Riot Club President
back in the what, 1850s?
354
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:23,712
Little shit.
355
00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:27,050
- Pretty much runs the country now.
- Well, just the party.
356
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:30,602
- Balfour, still bowling under arm?
- (CHUCKLES) Working on it.
357
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:33,022
- How d'you do?
- Alistair Ryle
358
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,729
See you all for dinner. Beef, I think.
359
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,033
Shall we get the PlayStation out, Villiers?
360
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,535
- What, so I can whoop your arse again?
- (SCOFFS)
361
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,287
- We woke up the next day in Vienna.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
362
00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:53,084
Passed out face down in a box of marzipan.
363
00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:54,619
(ALL LAUGHING)
364
00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:58,380
JEREMY: That was one of
our quieter dinners.
365
00:24:58,414 --> 00:25:01,634
When, um, when my father was at Oxford,
366
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:05,509
the Riot set off a box of fireworks
in the Randolph Hotel.
367
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,260
- Oh, dear.
- GEORGE: Classic.
368
00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:10,927
Different times. Well, you wouldn't fuck
about like that now, would you?
369
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,512
No, of course not.
370
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:14,767
Can't have anything else in the papers.
371
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:18,522
Nazi shit storm over student conservatives
was bad enough.
372
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,977
Children playing politics.
373
00:25:21,562 --> 00:25:23,940
Are you not a fan of Port and Policy Night?
374
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:27,653
Full of twats who think it's a free pass
into the cabinet.
375
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:33,449
Local councillors of the future.
Well, good night, all.
376
00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:34,833
(CHUCKLES)
377
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:38,412
- You sorry bunch.
- HARRY: Night, Jezza.
378
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:43,050
Hello, doggles!
379
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:44,547
Yes, hello.
380
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:45,798
Come on, up you come.
381
00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:52,678
You know what Jezza told me? Back in the 80s
they used to hire a girl for the dinner.
382
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:55,725
- A girl?
- Prozzer.
383
00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:57,932
Put her under the table,
went round one at a time.
384
00:25:58,891 --> 00:25:59,938
Huh.
385
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,023
Don't listen. Horrid boys.
386
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:06,157
So, we're at the top university
in the world, yeah?
387
00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:07,442
Arguably.
388
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:10,157
And so are 20,000 other people.
389
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:13,539
But there are no more
than 10 in the Riot Club.
390
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:14,991
The top 10.
391
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,923
If you'd like, I could speak to Leighton.
392
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,505
I'll nominate you.
393
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,017
(GEORGE LAUGHING)
394
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:42,018
Best not tell Mum about that.
Uh, George IV, I think.
395
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,811
- (LAUGHING)
- Whoops!
396
00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:47,443
- (HORNY PLAYING)
- (MEN CHANTING)
397
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:50,192
That's the college rowing team.
398
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:54,155
When they hear this song, they have to down
their drinks and take off all their clothes.
399
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:57,325
Do you not think they've noticed
it's massively homoerotic?
400
00:26:57,366 --> 00:26:58,868
(MEN CHEERING)
401
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,087
I've heard the Riot Club have an initiation
402
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:04,290
where you pour a whole bottle of champagne
over your head.
403
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:05,920
Oh, brilliant.
404
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:09,003
- I think I'd rather drink it.
- (MEN CHEERING)
405
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,797
Right. Anyone? Lauren, drinks?
406
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,258
Oh, um, I think we're just buying our own.
407
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:16,560
Oh, yeah, sure. Cool.
408
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:32,034
We do it with port, actually, not
champagne. It's more visceral.
409
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,279
In the Riot Club?
410
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:37,910
Miles, isn't it?
411
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,914
The school plays?
412
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,747
My Richard lll was quite something.
413
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:49,210
Oh, my God. You're the guy
who used to improvise limericks in Latin.
414
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:51,253
And get bogwashed for it.
415
00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:56,054
You look, um, you look different.
416
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,095
Hugo.
417
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:04,103
- It's Hugo.
- (STAMMERING) I did remember.
418
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,356
You didn't. It's fine.
419
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:08,733
Cigarette?
420
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:12,615
HUGO: After you.
421
00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:23,419
Oh, everything you see
is begged and borrowed.
422
00:28:23,452 --> 00:28:26,376
I'm very much the ragged end of the gentry.
423
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,139
So, I must ask,
424
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:41,221
what's a nice Westminster boy like you doing
with all those boot-strappy regionals?
425
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:45,019
I don't know, Lauren's cool, so...
426
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:49,069
Well, you know what they say,
girls for now, girls for later.
427
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:56,568
So...
428
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:58,946
The Club...
429
00:29:01,531 --> 00:29:05,161
The Riot Club connects me to hundreds
of years of history.
430
00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:08,046
The dinner is debauchery raised to an art,
431
00:29:09,331 --> 00:29:12,255
almost spiritual.
432
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,212
Something is released.
433
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:21,643
Do you know there are some people
who think they're here to get a degree?
434
00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:23,304
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
435
00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:43,707
Yeah, listen.
Could you stop flirting with me, please?
436
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:44,908
Oh, really?
437
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,378
Go on, then.
438
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:54,376
(TOBY HUMMING)
439
00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:06,229
(GRUNTING)
440
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:13,687
(GROANS)
441
00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:15,397
Help...
442
00:30:16,231 --> 00:30:17,232
Off we go!
443
00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,240
I've got the money for those fines.
I will be back very shortly.
444
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:28,460
- Maestro!
- (PLAYS PIANO)
445
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:32,581
Ugh!
446
00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:36,802
(SNORTING)
447
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:38,879
Shit!
448
00:30:40,047 --> 00:30:41,048
(ALL LAUGHING)
449
00:30:45,886 --> 00:30:46,887
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
450
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:52,401
ALL: (CHANTING) Straight,
straight, straight.
451
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:01,318
(ALL LAUGHING)
452
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,289
Oh!
453
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,955
Chateau Petrus, 1976.
454
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:10,627
(ALL CHEERING)
455
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,248
(SINGING)
456
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:29,141
(SINGING STOPS)
457
00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,491
(LAUGHING)
458
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:46,868
What is the correct way to eat ortolan?
459
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,915
Which is bigger, a Mordechai
or a Methuselah?
460
00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:50,583
What is a Roman shower?
461
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:55,005
Which happens first, the Cheltenham
Gold Cup or the Grand National?
462
00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:59,255
What did Disraeli do three times
and Gladstone four?
463
00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:01,587
What does a coprophagic like to do?
464
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:03,968
How did Edward ll die?
465
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:08,181
Which is oldest, Trinity College Cambridge
or Trinity College Oxford?
466
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:10,854
Don't answer yet. Go, go, go!
467
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,727
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
468
00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,525
- ALL: Come on!
- OK
469
00:32:18,228 --> 00:32:20,196
What is the answer to question five?
470
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,991
- Chancellor of the Exchequer.
- Oh, yeah!
471
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,449
Forty seconds!
472
00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:30,533
- Answer in the right order.
- Yes.
473
00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:32,872
Ortolan, eat it with a
napkin over your head.
474
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,749
- Come on, mate, think!
- Mordechai.
475
00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:36,580
- Getting someone to vomit on you.
- Whoa! Whoo!
476
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:38,836
- Cheltenham Gold Cup.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
477
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:41,218
- Chancellor of the Exchequer.
- Yeah!
478
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:45,134
Shit! They do they...
They like to eat shit.
479
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,183
- Red hot poker up the arse.
- Come on, mate!
480
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:50,890
- And, uh...
- Ten seconds!
481
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,680
- Trinity College, Cambridge.
- Yes!
482
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:55,891
By nine years.
483
00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:58,772
That was actually remarkably good.
484
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:00,570
(CHEERING)
485
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,247
I feel polluted. Those guys are hard-core.
It was total carnage.
486
00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:14,414
Are you sure you want to be in this thing?
487
00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:18,957
Yeah, it's actually kind of an honour
to be asked, if they want me.
488
00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:21,838
You don't even know yet?
489
00:33:21,917 --> 00:33:24,545
Well, apparently, I'll be sent a sign.
490
00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:26,592
- Here.
- (GRUNTS)
491
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,673
Well, just sip it.
492
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,851
Oh, I saw your post.
493
00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:35,438
The Honourable Miles Richards?
494
00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:39,101
You're an "Honourable"?
495
00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:46,404
It's just a historical thing,
496
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:48,489
it doesn't mean anything.
497
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,828
God, are you sure you wouldn't prefer
498
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:58,458
one of those rah girls with all the hair?
499
00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:02,666
Listen.
500
00:34:06,002 --> 00:34:08,300
I've been out with those girls.
501
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:13,386
And you are so much better.
502
00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,222
- Hmm.
- You're gorgeous.
503
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,353
Everything you've just said is bollocks.
504
00:34:20,016 --> 00:34:22,018
Or to put it another way?
505
00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:24,355
Woolly liberal bollocks.
506
00:34:24,854 --> 00:34:28,779
Sorry, but calling the Beveridge Report
"a wholly positive force"...
507
00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:33,994
The NHS and the welfare state were founded
on the post-war re-evaluation of society.
508
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:37,079
ALISTAIR: Which your essay suggests
is some kind of socialist utopia!
509
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:40,628
I'm just saying, the culture
of dependency it fostered...
510
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:43,381
Fostered moral citizenship!
511
00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:45,709
Forcing people to pay
for other people's bad choices.
512
00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,385
- Or bad luck!
- Gentlemen!
513
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:51,340
May I suggest, we're straying
into subjective territory.
514
00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:55,056
I'm much less interested in your opinions
than I am in intellectual rigour.
515
00:34:55,135 --> 00:34:57,354
We're historians. Not guests on Newsnight.
516
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:16,369
Welcome to the Riot Club.
517
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,705
You fuckers.
518
00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:22,207
You total fuckers.
519
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:27,214
- We aim to please.
- (ALL CHEERING)
520
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:30,717
Hope you weren't too attached
to your, um, everything.
521
00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:40,351
- Shit! Oh, fuck!
- LAUREN: Miles?
522
00:35:41,765 --> 00:35:44,894
- Oh, my God, have you been burgled?
- No, it's...
523
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:48,442
Your laptop!
524
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:50,823
Oh...
525
00:35:54,527 --> 00:35:57,656
- Well, I think this means I'm in.
- (EXCLAIMS)
526
00:35:57,739 --> 00:36:00,538
This is what they do to people they like?
527
00:36:01,618 --> 00:36:04,167
No, I'm just going to clear it up.
528
00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:06,418
- Oh, come on, it's just a bit of fun.
- (EXCLAIMS)
529
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:09,551
- it's tradition.
- These people are not your friends.
530
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:12,087
- Oh, for fuck's sake, Lauren!
- What?
531
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:16,599
Well, maybe, you don't like it
cos you don't get to do it.
532
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:24,149
Fuck! Look, I'm sorry! Lauren!
533
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:29,771
Jesus.
534
00:36:30,230 --> 00:36:32,608
I just wish I knew whose jizz it was-.
535
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,820
Well, it's one for all and all for one.
536
00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:39,907
So, in a way, it's everyone's jizz.
537
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:42,952
Great, so, you did Bukkake on my room.
538
00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:44,335
(CHUCKLES)
539
00:36:51,793 --> 00:36:53,386
Proper Riot boy.
540
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,429
Here.
541
00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:06,645
It's actually really hard to get off.
Paper's porous.
542
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:10,070
You know, in a few years' time, these
boys will be behind some very big desks,
543
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:11,897
important desks.
544
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,357
You as well.
545
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:19,823
College is the last time we get to disport
ourselves without anyone watching.
546
00:37:19,904 --> 00:37:23,204
Let's not waste it by being squeamish.
547
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:03,164
Looks great. Looks classy.
548
00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:07,453
It's a ruby wedding party, Dad,
I don't know if they want classy.
549
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,788
No, this is the Young Entrepreneurs.
550
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:11,669
- Students? All this?
- Hmm.
551
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:15,423
Wealthy kids, wealthy parents.
552
00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:17,379
This is a fine dining market.
553
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:21,345
Yeah, we're a pub, not a Michelin Star.
554
00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:24,932
And do you know how many pubs
are closing every week in this country?
555
00:38:25,428 --> 00:38:27,977
Helen, they need forks
as well as spoons for dessert,
556
00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:29,729
they're not having Fruit Corners.
557
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:33,858
Posh people say "pudding", Dad,
not "dessert".
558
00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:36,569
No they don't, do they?
559
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:42,908
- Where did you learn that?
- University?
560
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:45,907
Must have been.
561
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,494
HUGO: Don't drink until the president
says you can.
562
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:50,578
MILES: OK.
563
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:54,292
HUGO: And absolutely no talk
of religion or politics.
564
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:59,304
- Is it always this far away?
- Oh, we're banned from anywhere closer.
565
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:01,177
(LAUGHS)
566
00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:04,601
And the menu is all, like, breast
of chicken wrapped in boring,
567
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:07,103
so I said to Leighton,
"Mate, let me go off-piste,
568
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:09,397
"organise something awesome."
569
00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:11,607
It's great President material.
570
00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:14,106
Fuck, is this restaurant in Wales?
571
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,200
- Better start my campaign, then.
- You?
572
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:22,494
Election's next term, isn't it?
573
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:26,179
What, you think I wouldn't be good?
574
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:29,910
Just didn't think you'd
be going for President.
575
00:39:30,451 --> 00:39:32,453
Is it because I is Greek?
576
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,301
Jesus, Bellingfield,
it's because I'm Greek?
577
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:41,383
No! No, mate, come on.
578
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:43,806
- Mate, how long have we been friends?
- Since the first day of school.
579
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,556
And you think I couldn't be
President because I'm Greek?
580
00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:53,817
Oh, my...
581
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,020
Wow!
582
00:39:58,313 --> 00:40:00,486
Hi! George Balfour. Have you...
583
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,283
Is this the 60-80?
584
00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:06,321
Boom! Fucking Reservoir Dogs!
585
00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:10,200
- Evening, chaps.
- Hello, mate.
586
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:15,501
- What the fuck?
- Mate?
587
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:19,210
- My fucking tute partner.
- (CHUCKLES) Oh, classic.
588
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:21,593
- So, Milo?
- Hmm.
589
00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:24,923
Do you know, I don't think I know
a single person called Lauren.
590
00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:26,383
Prolier than thou.
591
00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:28,514
- Lauren what, Lauren who?
- Lauren Small.
592
00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:30,766
- Oh, small, is she?
- Not where it matters.
593
00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:33,439
Actually, she's, she's nice.
594
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:37,061
Fuck, I thought you were
just being a sex tourist.
595
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:38,986
Well, what's the point of college
if you can't experiment?
596
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,398
What, you mean "girls for now,
girls for later“?
597
00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:45,990
Yeah, you'll learn, mate.
Girls are for gays.
598
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,366
- Oh, look, it's bloody Leighton!
- Yes, sorry, sorry.
599
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:52,951
Did you get held up at the nail bar?
600
00:40:53,034 --> 00:40:55,207
Start the party. I am thirsty.
601
00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:57,042
- Showtime, Balf!
- Oh! Oh.
602
00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,464
Oh, uh, duty calls.
603
00:40:58,539 --> 00:41:00,382
Bloody nice to meet you.
604
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:03,712
- Oh, and, uh, good luck with the llamas.
- Oh, thank you.
605
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,380
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
606
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,092
Ready?
607
00:41:13,888 --> 00:41:16,562
MAN: All right, nice and
still, please, gents.
608
00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:19,606
(CAMERA CLICKS)
609
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,162
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
610
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,499
(SLOT MACHINE PLAYS TUNE)
611
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:45,594
Ah!
612
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:47,638
Evening, gentlemen. Please do come through.
613
00:41:47,714 --> 00:41:49,307
Thanks very much.
614
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:53,353
Thought you'd be in business suits,
more of a pinstripe thing.
615
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:56,022
- I'm sorry?
- Young Entrepreneurs Club.
616
00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:59,567
- I'm sorry?
- Young Entrepreneurs Club.
617
00:42:00,893 --> 00:42:04,113
Oh, yes, um, it's, uh, it's a retro night!
618
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:05,781
(ALL SNIGGERING)
619
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:18,874
OK, we've got three soups...
620
00:42:20,580 --> 00:42:25,211
OK, three soup, one prawn, two parfait,
two no starter, then two salmon,
621
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:28,297
- one haddock, five chickens.
- Five fucking chicken! Why do we bother?
622
00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:30,305
You're going to get
the lads' starters out first, yeah?
623
00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:34,310
No, we've taken the ruby Wedding's order,
we should do them before the penguins.
624
00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:37,722
Private diners need to feel as if
they're being given VIP treatment.
625
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:44,112
Right, then! Well, good evening, gentlemen,
and welcome to the Bull's Head this evening.
626
00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:47,740
Please feel free to sit down
and make yourselves at home.
627
00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:51,494
Can't sit before the president.
628
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,745
Yeah, sit down, sit down.
629
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:08,594
Well, just a bit of housekeeping
before we serve your dinner,
630
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:11,513
hoping there's no dietary requirements
we haven't heard about.
631
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:13,216
I don't eat shit food.
632
00:43:13,299 --> 00:43:14,699
I'm afraid you can't smoke in here,
633
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:17,596
but if you wish to partake,
please feel free to go outside.
634
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,477
The fire extinguisher is just over there.
635
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:23,188
Just hoping we won't be needing that, eh?
636
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:27,197
And, urn, lavatories are just
through the door where we came in,
637
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:31,071
so you don't have to go through
the main bar to access the facilities.
638
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:32,659
May I?
639
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:36,664
- Wants to be a waitress.
- Sommelier.
640
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:38,119
(SNIGGERING)
641
00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:51,383
Gentlemen, let's start
this again, shall we?
642
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:54,716
Right.
643
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,475
Now just a bit of housekeeping
to go through...
644
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,726
ALL: Boo!
645
00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:05,777
Yes, before we get onto the proper
business of the evening,
646
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:07,854
getting chateaued beyond belief!
647
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,693
ALL: Huzzah! Hear! Hear!
648
00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:14,573
Chunder bag.
649
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:19,282
It's our time, gentlemen.
650
00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:24,045
Let us eat till we explode,
651
00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:26,422
drink till our eyes fall out,
652
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,920
let us dance footloose upon the Earth,
653
00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:31,177
and carpe some fucking diem!
654
00:44:31,252 --> 00:44:33,254
(ALL CHEERING)
655
00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:35,715
We who are about to dine, salute you.
656
00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:38,350
(ALL SPEAK LATIN)
657
00:44:38,426 --> 00:44:39,643
Imbibe.
658
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:47,276
Mmm!
659
00:44:50,396 --> 00:44:54,572
# God save our gracious queen
660
00:44:54,609 --> 00:44:58,705
# Long live our noble queen
661
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:02,249
# God save the queen
662
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:08,123
# Send her victorious
663
00:45:08,581 --> 00:45:12,302
# Happy and glorious
664
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:16,514
# Long to reign over us
665
00:45:16,589 --> 00:45:20,435
# God save the queen #
666
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:31,110
- Shall we make him a member.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
667
00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:34,816
Milo, wine.
668
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:44,121
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
669
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:52,046
Foie gras, mate.
670
00:45:52,124 --> 00:45:54,798
Sorry, do you want yours
wrapped in a vine leaf? It'd be lovely.
671
00:45:54,835 --> 00:45:56,678
This man needs some taramasalata!
672
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:59,553
I'm sorry, they're just
very excited to be here.
673
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:04,020
Chanel, Coco Mademoiselle.
674
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,223
Um, yeah. Well done.
675
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:10,355
All right, we're going in!
676
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:18,117
- See, they're nice, aren't they?
- Yeah, all right, they're nice.
677
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,536
I can't see them on The Apprentice, though.
678
00:46:24,907 --> 00:46:27,035
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
679
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:28,210
What?
680
00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:33,625
- She did...
- Villiers, you booked a prozzer?
681
00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,426
Stick her under the table, yeah?
682
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:37,970
- Oh, yeah?
- What? Oh...
683
00:46:38,045 --> 00:46:39,217
Villiers, how grubby!
684
00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:42,099
I asked her to bring a false moustache
for when she does you.
685
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,472
Are you trying to make President?
686
00:46:44,552 --> 00:46:47,055
- I'm just bringing sexy back.
- Villiers, if this gets out...
687
00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:48,848
Worried about your CV, Leighton?
688
00:46:48,889 --> 00:46:50,937
Carpe some diem, didn't you say?
689
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:53,361
- "We are legends"!
- Never mind.
690
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:59,697
Mmm and by the way, scrunching
Harry Villiers for sharking the waitress.
691
00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:01,611
- (CHUCKLES)
- Oh, yes!
692
00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:03,537
Oh, my God, that girl is tasty.
693
00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:04,914
- OK, OK.
- Up you get, Villiers.
694
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:08,247
ALL: (CHANTING)
Scrunch! Scrunch! Scrunch! Scrunch!
695
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:17,252
- How would you like it cooked?
- Medium rare.
696
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:19,174
Medium rare!
697
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:21,887
Is there anything you
can do about the noise?
698
00:47:21,922 --> 00:47:23,048
I'm sorry.
699
00:47:23,090 --> 00:47:25,468
I think they're just enjoying themselves.
700
00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:26,973
You know, boys...
701
00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:33,567
Excuse me!
702
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:38,772
Yes.
703
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,360
- Any sign of that parfait?
- It's just coming.
704
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:46,619
It's just if Mum doesn't eat something
soon, she'll be singing as well.
705
00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:48,950
All right, chaps, Banbury Toasts
while we're still upright.
706
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:51,127
- It's fucking cool, man!
- What? What is this?
707
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,629
- Just a game, come on.
- Excuse me, I'm in charge.
708
00:47:54,955 --> 00:47:56,628
OK...
709
00:47:56,665 --> 00:47:58,667
Quiet now, OK, OK...
710
00:48:00,669 --> 00:48:01,921
(SHOUTS) Quiet!
711
00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:05,808
OK, grasshoppers, here are the rules.
712
00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:10,184
If the word means new person
or some sort of beginner,
713
00:48:10,262 --> 00:48:12,685
you take a shot. Best of five.
714
00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:17,278
(ALL GRUMBLING)
715
00:48:21,982 --> 00:48:23,029
Abecedarian!
716
00:48:23,651 --> 00:48:25,824
(SHOUTING)
717
00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:29,706
- Advantage Ryle's.
- Advantage Ryle's. Very good.
718
00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:31,580
- No, it's fine.
- Good work.
719
00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:34,754
- You'll get into the swing of it.
- You've done it.
720
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,831
Don't. Get away from me.
721
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:42,962
Whoo! Novitiate.
722
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:45,511
Come on! Come on!
723
00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:47,675
Richards!
724
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,603
- Milo! Milo.
- He's back in this.
725
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,690
(CLEARS THROAT) Here.
726
00:49:02,231 --> 00:49:03,574
Neologism!
727
00:49:04,024 --> 00:49:05,867
(GIGGLES)
728
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:08,154
What? He said "gism".
729
00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:10,698
OK, OK, OK!
730
00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,003
Whippersnapper!
731
00:49:17,037 --> 00:49:19,540
Go! Go! Go! Go!
732
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,380
Draw! That's neck in neck, it's a draw.
733
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,553
- This is fantastic!
- Next round.
734
00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:26,221
OK, OK, OK, come on.
735
00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:28,846
Didn't I say? Come on, fight it, fight it.
736
00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:31,102
- Come on!
- Fight it!
737
00:49:32,178 --> 00:49:33,395
Shh!
738
00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:43,689
Catechumen!
739
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,486
Go! Go! Go! Go!
740
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:49,570
That's Richards! We have a winner!
741
00:49:49,653 --> 00:49:52,247
(ALL CHEERING)
742
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:54,200
Come on, mate, come on.
743
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,705
Did you see? That was brilliant!
744
00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:00,874
Really brilliant, honestly.
745
00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:05,256
Three shots, mate!
746
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:08,927
(ALL CHATTERING IN DISTINCTLY)
747
00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:16,101
All right, shh!
748
00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:18,440
(IMITATING TRUMPET)
749
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:26,191
Raise your glasses
to Lord Riot and the dead members.
750
00:50:26,732 --> 00:50:28,484
ALL: Dead members!
751
00:50:30,319 --> 00:50:32,037
You've got a dead member,
haven't you, Bell-end?
752
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:34,865
Only cos your mum's
been sitting on it 24/7.
753
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:40,004
HUGO: Once more unto the drink,
dear friends.
754
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:44,255
Once more! And give a roar
for all our English drunk.
755
00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:51,723
On, on you noblest Riot,
756
00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:55,474
whose blood is fed from vodka 80 proof!
757
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:59,183
Be envy now to clubs of weaker blood.
758
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:01,393
And teach them how to drink.
759
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,525
The game's afoot!
760
00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:08,065
Pour out your spirits,
761
00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:10,651
and with glasses charged,
762
00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:13,993
Cry, "God for Harry,
763
00:51:14,029 --> 00:51:16,999
"Dimitri and Alistair,
764
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:21,124
"James, Toby, Edward, Milo,
765
00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:24,085
"Hugo, Guy and George!"
766
00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:25,837
(ALL CHEERING)
767
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,630
Plates, please, quick, quick, quick!
768
00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:35,051
Size of that. Let's get a photo, yeah?
769
00:51:39,179 --> 00:51:40,180
(CAMERA CLICKS)
770
00:51:42,057 --> 00:51:44,810
Oh, my Christ! That's a very big chicken.
771
00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:48,197
That, gentlemen, is a 10 bird roast.
772
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,524
- Well, it's not actually...
- Good man.
773
00:51:49,565 --> 00:51:51,033
What is a 10 bird roast?
774
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,655
- Porn?
- Exactly what it says,
775
00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:56,789
a bird inside a bird inside a bird
inside a bird etcetera...
776
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,834
- We did have a tiny problem with...
- Bellingfield, it's amazing!
777
00:51:59,867 --> 00:52:02,245
- It's amazing!
- Bravo, mate. Good work.
778
00:52:02,328 --> 00:52:04,547
- What's pudding going to be?
- A 10 trifle, trifle?
779
00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:06,457
Ten cake, cake.
780
00:52:07,875 --> 00:52:10,048
Great! Who wants to do the honours?
781
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:12,255
How about I do it with this.
782
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,466
- Oh, Milo!
- Milo!
783
00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:19,554
Yes, Milo!
784
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:25,400
Oh, I love a roast potato! I love them!
785
00:52:28,187 --> 00:52:29,780
Absolutely disgraceful.
786
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:37,451
MILES: Why 10 birds specifically?
787
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:40,582
Because there's 10 of us.
788
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:46,335
Ten birds bound in the heat
of the fire into one entity,
789
00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:48,415
i.e., the club.
790
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:50,551
- What birds is it?
- Must be something tiny in the middle.
791
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,837
- A tiny shrew?
- Birds, you wad.
792
00:52:54,963 --> 00:52:57,182
- Duckling?
- No, that's not a bird.
793
00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:59,180
I think it's a budgerigar.
794
00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:02,058
- Poussin? Woodcock.
- Oh, no, woodcock are tiny.
795
00:53:02,096 --> 00:53:03,216
They'd be a bugger to shoot.
796
00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,566
So that woodcock's been inside
more birds than Villiers.
797
00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:07,601
Nine? Nine squared, mate.
798
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:10,442
(ALL CHUCKLING)
799
00:53:17,403 --> 00:53:20,282
DIMITRI: Seriously, what birds is it?
GUY: Dims, OK.
800
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:22,537
Uh, woodcock.
801
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,456
Uh, duck, chicken, goose.
802
00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:29,044
Guinea fowl, quail, partridge,
turkey, pigeon, pheasant.
803
00:53:29,123 --> 00:53:30,796
Ten birds.
804
00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:33,718
There's no guinea fowl in here.
805
00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:34,966
What?
806
00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:38,466
Dad, they won't notice, will they?
807
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:40,222
Just couldn't get hold
of a guinea fowl this week.
808
00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:43,099
I mean, maybe we should change suppliers.
809
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:44,977
- Table eight away.
- The amount they've drunk,
810
00:53:48,183 --> 00:53:49,935
I did try to tell them.
811
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,817
Unless
812
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:57,072
there was, like, a blue tit
smashed up in the stuffing.
813
00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:03,081
- Nine fucking birds!
- Mate, I hate broccoli.
814
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:06,457
- Did he tell you?
- No, he fucking didn't!
815
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:09,747
- Come on, guys, it's still pretty cool.
- It's delicious!
816
00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:11,673
Are we going to complain?
817
00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:35,318
It's just that when we arrange something,
we expect to get it.
818
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:40,494
OK, is anyone still hungry?
819
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:44,248
- Cos I could make you an omelette.
- No, no, sorry.
820
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:45,449
Rachel, I don't think you understand,
821
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,955
these chaps have eaten in some
of the finest restaurants in the country.
822
00:54:48,035 --> 00:54:50,709
- The world, mate.
- What are you doing in Kidsbury, then?
823
00:54:52,414 --> 00:54:56,135
- I'm sorry, what?
- You might want to keep the noise down a bit.
824
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:03,096
Well, that could have gone better.
825
00:55:07,679 --> 00:55:10,023
- Oh, well, there goes the neighbourhood...
- What?
826
00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:13,227
She went to school with my sister
and now she's
827
00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:15,855
(WHISPERS) a sex worker.
828
00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:28,079
Thank you, but we'd prefer it if
you took your business elsewhere.
829
00:55:29,451 --> 00:55:32,045
- Leighton got totally fucking rinsed.
- No, I didn't.
830
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:33,752
It's really not that important, is it?
831
00:55:33,789 --> 00:55:35,541
It's important we get what we want.
832
00:55:35,582 --> 00:55:37,459
Yes, thank you, Ryle.
833
00:55:50,305 --> 00:55:52,353
(MOBILE PHONE VIBRATING)
834
00:55:52,432 --> 00:55:54,981
Gentlemen, it's cock o'clock.
835
00:55:56,144 --> 00:55:58,943
Yes! Yes, brilliant.
836
00:55:59,815 --> 00:56:02,614
Harry, tell her, I've got my cock
out ready for her.
837
00:56:05,445 --> 00:56:08,119
HARRY: Oh, no, no. There's a fire exit.
838
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,451
Go round the back. Yeah, yeah.
839
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:27,552
Please, come through.
840
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:29,807
- After you.
- Thank you, Harry.
841
00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:31,476
Ah!
842
00:56:32,055 --> 00:56:33,648
Well, this is Charlie.
843
00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,480
She's a...
844
00:56:35,517 --> 00:56:38,236
What do you say? A call girl?
845
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:40,940
- Oh, an escort actually these days.
- Escort.
846
00:56:42,941 --> 00:56:44,443
Oh, thank you.
847
00:56:47,029 --> 00:56:50,033
Um, you've got a room, have you?
848
00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:57,164
Um, where are the others going to go?
849
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,750
Oh, no, no, they'll be here.
Around the table.
850
00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:02,628
- Right?
- And you, well,
851
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:05,719
you, under the table.
852
00:57:06,298 --> 00:57:08,016
What am I doing under the table?
853
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,474
Um, us. One at a time.
854
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:14,018
- Maybe three at a time.
- Mate.
855
00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:16,725
Well, she's got two
hands, hasn't she? So...
856
00:57:18,435 --> 00:57:20,654
You're talking about oral?
857
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,024
On all of you?
858
00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:26,201
We'd give you a cushion for your knees.
859
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:28,703
(LAUGHS) Yeah, um...
860
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:29,871
I think there's been...
861
00:57:31,156 --> 00:57:32,783
CHEF: Chris?
RACHEL: Dad?
862
00:57:32,866 --> 00:57:34,618
Hang on there, Rach. Chris?
863
00:57:34,701 --> 00:57:37,204
Rachel needs you out front,
table 12 is kicking off.
864
00:57:37,245 --> 00:57:38,337
Yeah.
865
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:42,047
I do a more classy sort of service.
866
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:48,804
You know, like a date, only I don't call
in the morning. Dinner, conversation...
867
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:52,386
Yeah, we wanted to pick
your brains about fiscal policy.
868
00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:57,566
Um, did the agency not say that
extras had to be agreed in advance?
869
00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:59,985
I thought he was asking
if I wanted more than one girl.
870
00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:01,903
They throw these fucking
euphemisms at you.
871
00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:03,071
Villiers.
872
00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:08,572
Listen, Charlie,
873
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:10,905
I'm sure we can work something out,
can't we?
874
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:13,662
A considerably bigger fee,
which the agency needn't know about?
875
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:15,538
Oh, I don't do anything off the books.
876
00:58:15,575 --> 00:58:18,829
Sorry, I'm trying to be a gentleman here,
but I'm actually really fucked off.
877
00:58:18,912 --> 00:58:22,086
OK, isn't she just the wrong kind of...
A different kind of...
878
00:58:22,124 --> 00:58:23,717
Don't, Richards!
879
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:26,879
You might be happy
being pussy-whipped, but I'm not.
880
00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:28,597
OK, mate.
881
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:32,593
Look, I promised these boys
they'll get a blow job tonight,
882
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:35,558
if you don't do it, then
I look like a cunt.
883
00:58:38,390 --> 00:58:39,687
I'm really sorry,
884
00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:43,396
but I don't do more than two visits
in a row without a break, so...
885
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:45,280
What break do you need
if you're just lying there?
886
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:48,154
I'm not just a live version
of the sock you wank into.
887
00:58:48,734 --> 00:58:50,577
I'm not sure you quite appreciate
who you're talking to.
888
00:58:50,610 --> 00:58:53,010
Do it yourself, you'll be under the table,
a mouth's a mouth.
889
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:56,625
Why can't you just fucking do it?
890
00:58:57,409 --> 00:58:59,537
Why can't you just buckle down and...
891
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:01,337
Oh, for fuck's sake, you're a whore.
892
00:59:08,962 --> 00:59:11,681
Right, I think I'm going now, aren't I?
893
00:59:16,136 --> 00:59:17,479
Toodle Pip!
894
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,273
Fuck!
895
00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:30,534
Do understand, sir,
we've been short-staffed this evening
896
00:59:30,609 --> 00:59:34,079
- and your order got caught in a bottleneck.
- What about the noise?
897
00:59:35,781 --> 00:59:39,331
- We could try and find you another table.
- We're leaving.
898
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:44,670
I don't suppose you want to settle up
for your drinks and starters?
899
00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:47,342
I am trying to run a
family restaurant here.
900
00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:49,010
Gastro pub.
901
00:59:49,044 --> 00:59:52,344
You might like that sort of thing,
902
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,849
- I find it extremely offensive.
- (BURPS)
903
00:59:54,883 --> 00:59:56,510
Notwithstanding, it's against the law...
904
00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:58,519
Let's not get into the legality of this.
905
00:59:58,553 --> 01:00:01,181
I've just had a table of four
leave before their mains,
906
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:03,646
refusing to pay the bill
because of the noise.
907
01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:05,026
Yeah, I'm sorry.
908
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:06,604
We're very, very sorry.
909
01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:08,984
I think it's time for you to leave, please.
910
01:00:09,022 --> 01:00:11,195
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
911
01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:12,530
We're ever so sorry.
912
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,787
Most of us went to boarding school,
we don't really know any women.
913
01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:17,114
(RETCHING)
914
01:00:17,697 --> 01:00:19,199
I'd like you to leave.
915
01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:22,543
How much was the bill?
916
01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:26,544
For the table who left?
917
01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:32,547
Um, maybe, £100 by the end of the night.
918
01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:36,554
- And we're spending what tonight?
- Ryle, just...
919
01:00:37,050 --> 01:00:38,552
We're spending what tonight?
920
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:42,184
About three and a half grand, I think.
921
01:00:44,891 --> 01:00:47,519
It's not just about the money,
922
01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:49,689
it's about goodwill,
923
01:00:49,729 --> 01:00:51,572
these people are my customers.
924
01:00:51,606 --> 01:00:52,732
OK.
925
01:00:53,608 --> 01:00:55,781
Gesture of goodwill.
926
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:59,491
We'll, um, we'll call it 150, all right?
927
01:00:59,573 --> 01:01:01,575
Let's say they were going
to order another bottle.
928
01:01:01,616 --> 01:01:04,335
We wouldn't want you to be out of pocket.
929
01:01:04,411 --> 01:01:05,628
Exactly.
930
01:01:14,796 --> 01:01:17,424
This is what they teach you
at boarding school, is it?
931
01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,484
- Actually, yeah, it is.
- (LAUGHING)
932
01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:29,812
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
933
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:49,122
Here we go.
934
01:01:50,457 --> 01:01:51,629
Lovely!
935
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:22,823
I thought you were going to chuck them out.
936
01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:24,912
We came to an arrangement.
937
01:02:27,994 --> 01:02:30,543
Did you let them pay you off?
938
01:02:30,622 --> 01:02:34,593
All right, so, I let them reimburse me
for a table that we lost.
939
01:02:34,668 --> 01:02:37,188
What? Would you rather that I just
didn't take money off people?
940
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,299
I'm still paying off
your student loan, you know.
941
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:42,308
- Dad...
- Look, Rachel, if you've got comments,
942
01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:45,312
just save them for after
service, all right?
943
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:51,018
Michael, I'll be behind
the bar if you need me.
944
01:02:52,686 --> 01:02:55,280
"Is that what they teach you
at boarding school?"
945
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,733
- (LAUGHING)
- I know. Knob-jockey.
946
01:02:57,816 --> 01:02:59,489
Come on. You offered him a deal,
he took it, what's the...
947
01:02:59,526 --> 01:03:01,824
Yeah, but he keeps the moral high ground.
948
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,449
What about, don't take the money
if you feel that fucking strongly?
949
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:08,160
Or what about, take the money,
but shut the fuck up?
950
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:10,875
Ryle, you're a fucking legend.
951
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:13,332
And her, right, Charlie,
952
01:03:13,373 --> 01:03:15,341
you're a prostitute,
love, get on your knees.
953
01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:17,298
Fuck ya!
954
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:21,803
I mean, are we just going to sit here
and take it, carry on taking it?
955
01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:25,879
- We're all going to come out of college...
- Which we worked fucking hard for.
956
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:30,140
...and there's going to be no country left
for us because of people like him.
957
01:03:30,223 --> 01:03:33,193
Oh, come on, that's a bit
of a hard line position, isn't it?
958
01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:35,402
We never use those.
959
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:39,232
Buon appetito!
960
01:03:40,942 --> 01:03:43,866
OK, join it up, shall we?
961
01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:49,125
So, OK, they want all the stuff,
nice car, massive telly,
962
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,795
so they borrow more than
they can ever afford to pay back.
963
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,748
- Yeah.
- Then, when the great New Labour
964
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:58,839
shop in the sky goes up in flames,
they vote us back in to sort it out.
965
01:03:59,461 --> 01:04:02,931
Sounding a lot like a conversation
about politics here, can I just say?
966
01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:05,634
State of the world, mate.
Everything's political.
967
01:04:05,717 --> 01:04:07,765
- I'm here for the wine and the jokes.
- Hear, hear.
968
01:04:08,553 --> 01:04:10,772
Cos you've got no heritage, that's why.
969
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:13,524
- I've got a boatload of heritage.
- No, mate, you've got a boat.
970
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:17,820
Fuck you, Bellingfield.
971
01:04:17,896 --> 01:04:19,648
You know, they're obsessed...
972
01:04:19,731 --> 01:04:23,486
- They're obsessed with upward mobility.
- Absolutely.
973
01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:26,947
ALISTAIR: Don't understand why it doesn't
all just get handed to them.
974
01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:28,998
- Mate.
- No, fuck you.
975
01:04:29,074 --> 01:04:32,624
- Does anyone not want their pudding?
- JAMES: Is that why they're all so bitter?
976
01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:36,585
I can't help who my father is, but every
fucking internship interview it comes up,
977
01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:40,753
as if I haven't worked,
as if I don't work my fucking arse off!
978
01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:44,139
- It's just them and us all over again.
- Yes!
979
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:46,842
No, it's not. It's not at all.
It's not them and us.
980
01:04:46,925 --> 01:04:49,599
In our village pub, we drink with everyone.
981
01:04:50,345 --> 01:04:52,222
People who work in the estate, farmers.
982
01:04:52,305 --> 01:04:54,273
- Who buys the drinks?
- Sorry?
983
01:04:54,307 --> 01:04:55,559
Who pays for the drinks?
984
01:04:57,185 --> 01:04:58,186
Well, I do.
985
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:03,196
You think they don't laugh at you
when you're not there?
986
01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:08,405
George, they hate you.
987
01:05:10,073 --> 01:05:12,872
Fuck! Oh, that's nice.
988
01:05:13,493 --> 01:05:15,166
All I need now is a blo-jo.
989
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:18,215
Maybe we should just try and
990
01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:20,917
find a way to, uh, co-exist.
991
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:28,017
Mate, just cos you're doing field research
doesn't mean the rest of us want to.
992
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:31,056
We apologise.
993
01:05:32,178 --> 01:05:34,852
We apologise for being who we are.
994
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:38,860
We pretend we're the same,
we do it to ourselves, yeah?
995
01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,863
We need to stop apologising.
996
01:05:41,896 --> 01:05:44,115
Cos it's only going to get worse.
997
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:46,659
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Shit! Um, lose it, lose the coke.
998
01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:49,703
Um, yep-
999
01:05:52,615 --> 01:05:54,367
- Hi.
- Fuck!
1000
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:00,298
What are you, uh, sorry, hi...
1001
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:02,133
Um, what are you... What
are you doing here?
1002
01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:05,712
(CHUCKLES) You texted me?
You asked me to come.
1003
01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:09,758
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you texted me.
1004
01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:11,384
Sorry, who are you?
1005
01:06:12,051 --> 01:06:13,348
Oh, it's Miles' girlfriend.
1006
01:06:13,386 --> 01:06:15,809
- Lauren Small!
- I didn't text you.
1007
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,850
No, I didn't fucking text her!
I didn't text you.
1008
01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:22,112
Presumably, we could sort this out
quite easily by seeing the text?
1009
01:06:22,187 --> 01:06:24,360
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Very good point.
1010
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:26,779
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
1011
01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:29,452
- Jesus, just look at mine.
- Thank you.
1012
01:06:31,613 --> 01:06:32,910
Lauren...
1013
01:06:36,284 --> 01:06:38,412
"I need you to rescue me.
1014
01:06:39,370 --> 01:06:43,671
"Can you put on a dress
and come to the Bull's Head, Kidsbury?
1015
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:45,798
"Kiss, kiss, kiss, Miles."
1016
01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:50,098
Honestly, some fuckwit has
nicked my phone and texted you.
1017
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:52,805
You said you needed me and I came.
1018
01:06:54,469 --> 01:06:56,437
I think that makes me a nice person.
1019
01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:58,314
It does, it does, you know.
1020
01:06:58,389 --> 01:07:00,517
Excuse me, sorry, excuse me.
1021
01:07:00,975 --> 01:07:02,147
Um...
1022
01:07:02,810 --> 01:07:06,860
Uh, I'm sorry, Lauren.
But this is a mistake. So...
1023
01:07:06,940 --> 01:07:08,237
I think I'm gonna put you in a taxi...
1024
01:07:08,274 --> 01:07:10,993
No, no, no, she's only just arrived.
Where are your manners, Milo?
1025
01:07:11,069 --> 01:07:14,289
- Harry...
- Seriously, calm down, sit down.
1026
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,117
Lauren, please, have a drink.
1027
01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:19,752
Here.
1028
01:07:25,875 --> 01:07:27,752
Oh, this is nice.
1029
01:07:27,794 --> 01:07:29,467
So, now, Lauren,
1030
01:07:30,797 --> 01:07:33,596
my friend here has a question for you.
1031
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:37,978
Hi.
1032
01:07:39,931 --> 01:07:41,478
Hello!
1033
01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:47,359
How would you like to make £300 tonight?
1034
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,573
What?
1035
01:07:56,656 --> 01:07:59,705
Oh, my God, is he going to ask her? Legend.
1036
01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:00,910
You see...
1037
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:05,833
We had this...
1038
01:08:05,915 --> 01:08:09,840
We had this lady friend, um, boo,
1039
01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:12,255
the landlord sent her away.
1040
01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:15,137
- Guys, please, don't...
- What sort of lady friend?
1041
01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:17,552
- Service industry.
- Just a few blow jobs.
1042
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:22,357
- OK, it's my girlfriend, can you just stop?
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
1043
01:08:23,016 --> 01:08:26,520
I didn't realise you were,
you know, exclusive.
1044
01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:29,689
What was it you said earlier?
1045
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:33,947
"Girls for now, girls for later."
1046
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,873
- I didn't say that.
- Yes, you did.
1047
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:41,667
I didn't say that! I didn't say it!
1048
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:46,581
Chaps, chaps.
1049
01:08:47,332 --> 01:08:50,131
I think that's a bit insulting
to Lauren, actually.
1050
01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:56,470
Three hundred quid?
1051
01:08:56,549 --> 01:09:01,100
No, no, surely it should be something
that actually makes a difference?
1052
01:09:01,179 --> 01:09:03,648
- Like, um...
- Dimitri, please.
1053
01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:06,396
Twenty-seven grand?
1054
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:10,613
What?
1055
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:12,407
It's three years' tuition fees.
1056
01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:15,743
Just for a few blow jobs.
1057
01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:17,908
Spicy.
1058
01:09:21,616 --> 01:09:23,243
I'm serious.
1059
01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:27,081
Give me your account number,
I will do a transfer right now.
1060
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:30,295
Miles?
1061
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:34,091
- I, um...
- LAUREN: Yeah?
1062
01:09:48,768 --> 01:09:49,815
It's up to you.
1063
01:09:50,978 --> 01:09:51,979
Sorry?
1064
01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:56,026
No, no, no, you're right...
1065
01:09:56,109 --> 01:09:57,281
It's up to me?
1066
01:09:57,360 --> 01:10:00,990
No, no, no, I'm sorry,
I just thought for a second,
1067
01:10:01,072 --> 01:10:03,370
for a moment, I just thought
it's a fuckload of money.
1068
01:10:03,449 --> 01:10:05,417
What, and I'm the sort of scrubber
who'd take it?
1069
01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:08,671
No, no, I didn't think
it was my decision to make.
1070
01:10:09,580 --> 01:10:11,298
Um, can I get you a taxi?
1071
01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:14,422
(ALL CHUCKLING)
1072
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:18,097
- Can you let me out, please?
- What is it, Lauren?
1073
01:10:18,131 --> 01:10:19,633
You're too good for us?
1074
01:10:19,674 --> 01:10:21,597
We've got the finest sperm
in the country in this room,
1075
01:10:21,634 --> 01:10:23,477
you should be paying us
to let you drink it.
1076
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:25,396
What are you saying? What are you doing?
1077
01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:27,189
Whoa, whoa, jokes. Lauren...
1078
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:29,642
Jokes.
1079
01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:34,155
Do you not do humour at state school?
1080
01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:35,648
What?
1081
01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:39,034
You think we'd touch you with a bargepole?
1082
01:10:39,777 --> 01:10:41,620
Wouldn't fuck her with a bargepole.
1083
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,531
(SHOUTING) That is fucking offensive.
1084
01:10:45,491 --> 01:10:46,868
Let her out, guys.
1085
01:10:46,951 --> 01:10:47,952
Let her out.
1086
01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:51,664
Oh, no, sorry, it's, uh, it's pull.
1087
01:10:52,498 --> 01:10:54,000
MILES: Stop it.
1088
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:56,218
For fuck's sake, stop it.
1089
01:11:00,506 --> 01:11:01,507
Anyone else?
1090
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:08,556
MILES: Lauren!
1091
01:11:09,056 --> 01:11:10,182
Lauren.
1092
01:11:27,033 --> 01:11:28,706
You're wasted, you're wasted.
1093
01:11:52,850 --> 01:11:54,227
(DOOR OPENS)
1094
01:12:07,573 --> 01:12:08,916
Rach...
1095
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:10,584
Rachel.
1096
01:12:12,078 --> 01:12:14,831
We'll talk about it in the morning, Dad.
1097
01:12:25,716 --> 01:12:27,514
Go help yourself to a pint if you want.
1098
01:12:27,593 --> 01:12:29,971
Best get back, thanks,
the little one's teething.
1099
01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:33,029
Unless you need help handling those lads.
1100
01:12:33,099 --> 01:12:35,898
What? No. I'll be fine.
1101
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:38,362
Go on, get home.
1102
01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:40,189
See ya.
1103
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,361
Go on, Paul, I'll empty that.
1104
01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:47,993
- See you on Monday.
- See ya.
1105
01:12:54,704 --> 01:13:00,382
(IMITATING CHRIS) While you're under
my roof, you'll respect my rules.
1106
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:06,925
Well, I've got a new rule for you, mate,
it's called "Fuck you, we're the Riot Club".
1107
01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:08,183
(ALL CHEERING)
1108
01:13:08,259 --> 01:13:12,685
This bourgeois outrage when
we do anything, say anything.
1109
01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:15,482
Anything we ever build or achieve,
1110
01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:19,404
anything with the slightest whiff
of magnificence,
1111
01:13:19,478 --> 01:13:22,197
how did they get everywhere,
1112
01:13:22,273 --> 01:13:25,573
how did they make everything
so fucking second-rate?
1113
01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:27,369
(ALL CHEERING)
1114
01:13:27,445 --> 01:13:31,040
Thinking they're better
because there's more of them.
1115
01:13:31,115 --> 01:13:33,664
That's not sweat on their palms,
1116
01:13:33,743 --> 01:13:36,337
it's envy, it's resentment.
1117
01:13:37,163 --> 01:13:39,165
And it stinks like a fucking drain.
1118
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:40,328
- Hear, hear.
- That's right.
1119
01:13:40,333 --> 01:13:45,009
I am sick to fucking death of poor people.
1120
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:46,680
Yeah, fucking yes.
1121
01:13:48,382 --> 01:13:50,055
(GLASS SHATTERING)
1122
01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:57,024
Lauren? It's me.
1123
01:13:58,100 --> 01:13:59,852
Please call me back.
1124
01:14:01,687 --> 01:14:03,781
- (DOOR OPENS)
- I'm really...
1125
01:14:07,693 --> 01:14:10,162
I thought you'd gone.
1126
01:14:10,196 --> 01:14:13,871
Was it you that texted her?
1127
01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:16,661
Of course not.
1128
01:14:20,748 --> 01:14:24,719
Whatever thing it is you have
for me, you need to fucking...
1129
01:14:24,752 --> 01:14:27,380
- I'm straight, yeah?
- Yeah, I got that.
1130
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:30,217
I'm not your fucking rent boy.
1131
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:35,555
No one forced you into this.
1132
01:14:36,722 --> 01:14:38,395
You wanted to come.
1133
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,243
Come on, boys, back to the trenches.
1134
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:51,070
Come on, Milo, Milo.
1135
01:15:08,713 --> 01:15:10,807
(ALL CHEERING)
1136
01:17:09,375 --> 01:17:13,005
(SCREAMING IN THE DISTANCE)
1137
01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:21,722
I can't hear enough smashing.
More smash, more trashing.
1138
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,415
Oh, Jesus.
1139
01:17:45,703 --> 01:17:46,829
Jesus Christ.
1140
01:17:49,915 --> 01:17:51,258
What have you done?
1141
01:17:57,715 --> 01:17:59,592
You've broken my bulls.
1142
01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:07,938
- What the hell are you doing?
- No, no, no, don't worry.
1143
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,941
- Don't worry?
- We're going to pay you, we always pay.
1144
01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:13,489
What gave you the right...
1145
01:18:13,564 --> 01:18:14,816
Oh, sit down.
1146
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,034
Take the knife off him.
1147
01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:26,623
Chaps, let's all be gentlemen, shall we?
1148
01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:29,455
Shut up and listen.
1149
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:34,760
Now, this, this is how it works.
You go back out there quietly,
1150
01:18:34,793 --> 01:18:37,296
we do this and we pay you very generously.
1151
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:43,352
People let you do this?
1152
01:18:44,053 --> 01:18:46,932
Most people are smart enough
to take the treats and shut up.
1153
01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:48,974
I don't want your money.
1154
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:53,487
(CHUCKLING)
1155
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:59,736
Then what are you trying to do
with this tawdry little cum-shack?
1156
01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:03,075
People like you
1157
01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:07,202
think you can buy your way out
of everything, don't you?
1158
01:19:08,202 --> 01:19:11,832
- You think the world just revolves...
- Oh, I know, I know.
1159
01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:19,093
You're torn up inside
cos you think you don't like me.
1160
01:19:21,715 --> 01:19:22,716
News for you.
1161
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:26,804
You fucking love me.
1162
01:19:28,681 --> 01:19:31,400
You'd like to be me,
1163
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:35,696
you just can't quite admit it, can you?
1164
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:41,194
Chip on your shoulder much?
1165
01:19:48,242 --> 01:19:53,089
You're no better than a bunch of kids
breaking shop windows.
1166
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:59,632
You're just spoiled little brats.
1167
01:20:05,759 --> 01:20:07,011
(SCOFFS)
1168
01:20:14,393 --> 01:20:16,316
(CHUCKLES) Oops.
1169
01:20:21,233 --> 01:20:23,577
Shit, Villiers, get the door, get the door.
1170
01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:25,120
(CHRIS MOANING)
1171
01:20:26,030 --> 01:20:27,247
Come on.
1172
01:20:31,201 --> 01:20:32,202
No, no, no, no.
1173
01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:41,549
Wouldn't want you to be out of pocket.
1174
01:20:41,587 --> 01:20:43,089
(ALL JEERING)
1175
01:20:46,592 --> 01:20:47,718
(CHRIS GROANING)
1176
01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:04,781
Go, go, go, go.
1177
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,118
Fuck.
1178
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:14,203
Bowler.
1179
01:21:15,496 --> 01:21:16,497
Come on.
1180
01:21:34,598 --> 01:21:36,646
(GRUNTING)
1181
01:21:39,478 --> 01:21:41,355
Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby.
1182
01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:42,648
It's OK.
1183
01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:44,567
Guys...
1184
01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:47,991
What the, the fuck are you doing?
1185
01:21:50,823 --> 01:21:52,075
He was pushing me all night.
1186
01:21:52,783 --> 01:21:55,161
JAMES:
Jesus fucking Christ, is he breathing?
1187
01:21:55,202 --> 01:21:56,203
Yeah. Just.
1188
01:21:57,663 --> 01:21:58,664
Ambulance, please.
1189
01:22:00,290 --> 01:22:02,008
Hang up, Milo. Milo, hang up the phone.
1190
01:22:02,042 --> 01:22:03,635
The Bull's Head, Kidsbury.
1191
01:22:03,669 --> 01:22:06,263
- Somebody's unconscious.
- Wait. Say he fell. Say he fell.
1192
01:22:07,548 --> 01:22:08,549
He was punched.
1193
01:22:09,133 --> 01:22:10,180
Fuck's sakes, Richards.
1194
01:22:13,595 --> 01:22:15,393
JAMES: I'm gonna be sick.
1195
01:22:15,472 --> 01:22:17,872
Mate, they'll send the police,
you said there's been a fight.
1196
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:20,686
Fuck.
1197
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,522
Right, guys, listen,
1198
01:22:23,605 --> 01:22:25,858
nobody says anything to them, OK?
1199
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:27,867
I think it's pretty fucking obvious
what's happened.
1200
01:22:27,901 --> 01:22:29,528
DIMITRI: Just say, "No comment", yes?
1201
01:22:29,611 --> 01:22:31,113
Get the money out.
1202
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:37,203
I didn't do this. I didn't do this.
1203
01:22:37,286 --> 01:22:40,790
Mate, it's the club, right?
We all did this.
1204
01:22:49,548 --> 01:22:51,550
(SIRENS BLARING)
1205
01:24:16,051 --> 01:24:17,303
(SNORING)
1206
01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:44,792
Did you say anything?
1207
01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:45,831
Nothing.
1208
01:24:47,541 --> 01:24:48,884
You?
1209
01:24:48,959 --> 01:24:50,131
Uh-uh.
1210
01:24:54,506 --> 01:24:55,507
Mate.
1211
01:24:56,383 --> 01:24:58,761
Remember when you did the bedroom trash?
1212
01:24:58,844 --> 01:24:59,936
Yeah.
1213
01:25:00,679 --> 01:25:02,852
Whose room did you do first?
1214
01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:04,816
Why?
1215
01:25:06,268 --> 01:25:09,021
ALISTAIR: Is this your driver?
I'll tell you in the car.
1216
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:15,198
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
1217
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:26,142
- RECEPTIONIST: Are you a relative?
- I don't need to see him,
1218
01:25:26,204 --> 01:25:27,797
I just want to find out if he's OK...
1219
01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:30,001
The fuck are you doing here?
1220
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:32,010
See how much trouble you're in?
1221
01:25:32,044 --> 01:25:34,217
It's all right. It's going to be fine.
Thank you very much.
1222
01:25:34,296 --> 01:25:35,673
Excuse me.
1223
01:25:35,714 --> 01:25:38,809
Excuse me, I'm sorry,
I just wanted to check, is he...
1224
01:25:38,884 --> 01:25:40,886
Is he what? Is he dead?
1225
01:25:40,927 --> 01:25:42,270
- Is he dead?
- No.
1226
01:25:42,346 --> 01:25:44,565
Now get back in your Bentley and fuck off.
1227
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:56,819
One of his lungs has collapsed.
He's got a blood clot in his brain.
1228
01:25:56,902 --> 01:25:58,074
Fuck.
1229
01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:01,407
Two broken ribs. Collarbone.
Several fingers, broken nose,
1230
01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,993
ruptured spleen, internal bleeding.
1231
01:26:05,035 --> 01:26:07,083
Right now they're trying to
save the sight in his left eye,
1232
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,210
does that answer your fucking question?
1233
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:13,418
Yes.
1234
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:20,425
Dad.
1235
01:26:22,094 --> 01:26:25,018
They're asking if you
can remember anything.
1236
01:26:26,098 --> 01:26:27,475
Who hit you?
1237
01:26:32,145 --> 01:26:33,647
(SOFTLY) I don't know.
1238
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:39,194
They all look the same.
1239
01:26:45,117 --> 01:26:46,960
- Where's Miles?
- I don't know.
1240
01:26:51,289 --> 01:26:53,132
TOBY: So, what do we do?
1241
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:54,801
DIMITRI: Wait.
1242
01:26:54,876 --> 01:26:58,036
My lawyer says they'll call us back for
second interviews if they find anything.
1243
01:26:58,046 --> 01:26:59,639
JAMES: They'll find fingerprints
and things, won't they?
1244
01:26:59,715 --> 01:27:01,467
Ivan says we carry on. Say nothing.
1245
01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:02,847
HUGO: How far is that going to get us?
1246
01:27:02,926 --> 01:27:04,473
DIMITRI: It got us bail, didn't it?
1247
01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:07,764
Well, can someone come up with something?
1248
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:09,286
Cos I'd really like to have a career.
1249
01:27:09,307 --> 01:27:11,435
Self-defence. He came at us waving a knife.
1250
01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:12,523
What? Ten on one?
1251
01:27:19,776 --> 01:27:21,449
How about we give them someone?
1252
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:23,367
GUY: You mean, the police?
1253
01:27:23,905 --> 01:27:26,909
We choose one person, ideally a volunteer,
1254
01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:29,336
we all say he was the one
who had the fight with the landlord.
1255
01:27:29,369 --> 01:27:32,873
What about the club?
Sticking together, all for one?
1256
01:27:32,956 --> 01:27:36,586
Wait. One man confesses,
takes a hit for the team.
1257
01:27:36,668 --> 01:27:37,715
Nine of us stay clean.
1258
01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:38,795
He'd be a fucking hero.
1259
01:27:39,337 --> 01:27:41,431
And the rest of us do what we can
to help him in the future.
1260
01:27:41,506 --> 01:27:43,066
You don't leave a man out in the field,
1261
01:27:43,133 --> 01:27:46,558
- this is not what we do.
- Balf, it's not fucking Dunkirk.
1262
01:27:46,636 --> 01:27:48,156
MILES: Surely, we don't get to choose?
1263
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:49,681
DIMITRI: Mate?
1264
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:52,567
Surely it's up to the police
who gets punished?
1265
01:27:53,560 --> 01:27:55,688
The landlord can't remember who hit him.
1266
01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:57,697
So, we can decide that.
1267
01:28:03,528 --> 01:28:04,529
GUY: So?
1268
01:28:05,197 --> 01:28:06,619
Who is it going to be?
1269
01:28:07,032 --> 01:28:08,375
It's pretty obvious, isn't it?
1270
01:28:08,408 --> 01:28:09,625
Ryle...
1271
01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:13,546
Would you like to volunteer?
1272
01:28:14,873 --> 01:28:15,920
What?
1273
01:28:15,999 --> 01:28:18,343
HUGO: You did punch him first.
1274
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:20,720
I wasn't the only one.
1275
01:28:20,754 --> 01:28:22,722
The rest of you wanted
to, even if you didn't.
1276
01:28:22,798 --> 01:28:24,766
You did get everyone wound up.
1277
01:28:24,841 --> 01:28:25,888
ALISTAIR: What?
1278
01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:28,207
That stuff you said, "Stop apologising",
"Them and us"...
1279
01:28:28,220 --> 01:28:30,700
I was only saying what every other fucker
in here was thinking.
1280
01:28:30,722 --> 01:28:32,395
ED: Incitement. It was incitement.
1281
01:28:32,474 --> 01:28:34,602
I mean, didn't your brother tell you
it was a dinner, not a rally?
1282
01:28:34,684 --> 01:28:36,561
TOBY: Nothing like his brother.
1283
01:28:39,231 --> 01:28:41,654
It should be the president, shouldn't it?
1284
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:44,403
What the fuck?
1285
01:28:44,444 --> 01:28:48,074
ALISTAIR: If anyone's going to fall
on their sword, shouldn't it be you?
1286
01:28:50,450 --> 01:28:52,953
I, I didn't even touch him.
1287
01:28:53,036 --> 01:28:54,754
Man up and take it.
1288
01:28:56,623 --> 01:28:57,624
Boys...
1289
01:28:57,707 --> 01:29:00,927
Or we do the logical
thing, last in, first out.
1290
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:02,425
What, the newest member?
1291
01:29:02,462 --> 01:29:03,509
But we've got two new members.
1292
01:29:03,588 --> 01:29:05,056
Yeah, but technically
you only become a member
1293
01:29:05,090 --> 01:29:07,263
once your room's trashed,
so it depends on which order we did that.
1294
01:29:07,342 --> 01:29:09,515
We did Ryle first, so technically...
1295
01:29:10,887 --> 01:29:12,309
Technically, it's Miles.
1296
01:29:20,772 --> 01:29:22,024
I didn't do anything.
1297
01:29:24,442 --> 01:29:25,910
You did call the ambulance.
1298
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:31,158
I'm not going to go in
there and say I did this.
1299
01:29:31,241 --> 01:29:32,242
What the fuck?
1300
01:29:32,325 --> 01:29:33,326
We'll all rally.
1301
01:29:34,035 --> 01:29:36,796
Dimitri can get you a shit-hot lawyer.
You'd be doing it for the club.
1302
01:29:36,830 --> 01:29:37,922
MILES: Fuck the club.
1303
01:29:37,956 --> 01:29:39,676
We're not still talking about that, are we?
1304
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:42,460
I'm sorry, but I can't...
1305
01:29:43,253 --> 01:29:45,051
God, if it really kicked off...
1306
01:29:45,130 --> 01:29:46,848
We could all get sent down from college.
1307
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:49,472
Yes, and that's the worst possible thing
you can imagine happening, is it?
1308
01:29:49,509 --> 01:29:53,139
Miles, I have holes in my pockets
and no one useful on speed dial.
1309
01:29:53,972 --> 01:29:55,189
I'm built for hiding in libraries.
1310
01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:57,313
I'm not gonna lie to the police,
so you can ponce around
1311
01:29:57,392 --> 01:30:00,192
- in a fucking cape for the rest of your life.
- JAMES: Thing is, mate,
1312
01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:02,906
it's nine against one.
1313
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,193
Whatever you say.
1314
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:39,147
Can I, uh, speak to you?
1315
01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:42,028
- Somewhere not...
- I've got nothing to say.
1316
01:30:44,481 --> 01:30:47,030
Please, I have to talk to you...
1317
01:30:53,073 --> 01:30:55,075
You let them humiliate me.
1318
01:30:57,827 --> 01:30:59,170
I'm sorry.
1319
01:31:02,207 --> 01:31:03,675
Really sorry.
1320
01:31:04,668 --> 01:31:08,548
And I will do whatever you want
to prove that to you, but...
1321
01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:10,340
I need your help, something has happened...
1322
01:31:10,382 --> 01:31:12,422
Why should I help you
after what you put me through?
1323
01:31:12,467 --> 01:31:15,971
I didn't do what you think,
I tried to stop them...
1324
01:31:16,054 --> 01:31:17,556
You were there.
1325
01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:20,149
You had a choice, Miles.
1326
01:31:21,351 --> 01:31:23,069
You chose to do nothing
1327
01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:27,695
and if you speak to me ever again,
I will report you,
1328
01:31:27,732 --> 01:31:30,485
all of you, for assault.
1329
01:31:31,069 --> 01:31:32,321
Please...
1330
01:31:58,388 --> 01:32:00,356
Alistair Ryle?
1331
01:32:00,432 --> 01:32:01,604
Uh, no.
1332
01:32:02,642 --> 01:32:04,269
This is his room?
1333
01:32:04,894 --> 01:32:06,737
No, we, we swapped.
1334
01:32:07,772 --> 01:32:11,948
He's in Cloister Quad, Walsingham,
number six, I think.
1335
01:32:13,820 --> 01:32:15,322
You got some ID?
1336
01:32:15,405 --> 01:32:16,577
Yeah, yeah.
1337
01:32:34,632 --> 01:32:36,384
Sorry to disturb you.
1338
01:32:36,468 --> 01:32:38,516
No, it's fine. Thank you.
1339
01:32:48,229 --> 01:32:49,697
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1340
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:54,907
Alistair Ryle?
1341
01:33:12,212 --> 01:33:14,840
They found bits of the landlord
under Ryle's fingernails.
1342
01:33:14,923 --> 01:33:15,924
Bits?
1343
01:33:16,007 --> 01:33:18,135
I don't know, skin and stuff. Skin.
1344
01:33:18,176 --> 01:33:19,803
JAMES: And they've charged him?
1345
01:33:19,844 --> 01:33:20,845
HARRY: Yeah.
1346
01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:22,680
Just him?
1347
01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:23,811
Yes.
1348
01:33:24,390 --> 01:33:26,430
And the rest of us pay a police fine
for the damage.
1349
01:33:26,476 --> 01:33:27,728
No criminal record.
1350
01:33:27,811 --> 01:33:29,131
JAMES: And do we trust Ryle to...
1351
01:33:29,187 --> 01:33:31,155
Of course, we do. The man's a legend.
1352
01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:33,983
And what about college?
Are we gonna be sent down?
1353
01:33:34,651 --> 01:33:38,155
You're a fucking pussy, Leighton,
you know that?
1354
01:33:51,918 --> 01:33:53,545
(BELL TOLLING)
1355
01:34:00,135 --> 01:34:02,854
Were it up to me,
these boys would be sent down
1356
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:06,107
for moral vacuity and unspeakable
thoughtlessness.
1357
01:34:07,058 --> 01:34:10,187
However, I have been outvoted.
1358
01:34:10,979 --> 01:34:14,324
Since the police have decided
to prosecute only one of the boys,
1359
01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:18,154
the council of colleges doesn't feel
justified in removing all 10.
1360
01:34:19,779 --> 01:34:22,373
Not with the roasting
we'd receive from the press.
1361
01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:26,119
Only Alistair Ryle is to be sent down.
1362
01:34:27,745 --> 01:34:30,464
MILES' MOTHER: Oh well, that is, my gosh,
1363
01:34:30,999 --> 01:34:32,922
that is very good news.
1364
01:34:33,626 --> 01:34:37,221
Time will tell if it was one bad apple
spoiling the rest.
1365
01:34:37,338 --> 01:34:39,636
MILES' MOTHER: Well, thank you.
1366
01:34:40,633 --> 01:34:44,729
Of course, if there's anything we can do
to say thank you to the college...
1367
01:34:48,433 --> 01:34:50,435
Anything?
1368
01:34:50,476 --> 01:34:51,477
No.
1369
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:01,704
MILES' FATHER: OK, Olly, let's go.
1370
01:35:01,779 --> 01:35:04,282
Your marvellous brother's got away
with it this time.
1371
01:35:04,324 --> 01:35:05,667
- What's that mean?
- MILES' FATHER: He stays.
1372
01:35:05,742 --> 01:35:08,211
He's allowed back after the holidays.
Thank God.
1373
01:35:08,286 --> 01:35:09,754
GUY: Richards, mate.
1374
01:35:09,787 --> 01:35:12,040
I was just coming to find you.
1375
01:35:17,337 --> 01:35:18,338
Sorry.
1376
01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:21,262
Guy Bellingfield.
1377
01:35:21,299 --> 01:35:23,427
Wonderful to meet you, I've heard so much.
1378
01:35:25,553 --> 01:35:27,601
MILES' FATHER: You're not a friend
from this club, are you?
1379
01:35:27,639 --> 01:35:30,142
Uh, from the history society,
1380
01:35:30,225 --> 01:35:31,898
Junior Historians.
1381
01:35:32,477 --> 01:35:37,324
Actually, I'm the new president
of the Junior Historians.
1382
01:35:37,357 --> 01:35:38,950
President?
1383
01:35:38,983 --> 01:35:42,908
The previous incumbent was shown
not to be up to the job, so...
1384
01:35:44,447 --> 01:35:48,827
I thought we could get together,
discuss next term's lecture series,
1385
01:35:48,868 --> 01:35:50,836
if you fancy coming along.
1386
01:35:54,791 --> 01:35:56,668
Maybe, it's not for me.
1387
01:35:57,835 --> 01:36:01,465
I'm done with societies.
I'll be fine on my own.
1388
01:36:02,757 --> 01:36:03,758
But thanks.
1389
01:36:08,221 --> 01:36:10,895
Well, good luck with that.
1390
01:36:11,683 --> 01:36:13,981
(EXHALES) Um, good to meet you.
1391
01:36:18,564 --> 01:36:21,238
Tubes, mate, club meeting.
1392
01:36:21,859 --> 01:36:24,703
Operation Grasshopper, call me back, yeah?
1393
01:36:54,058 --> 01:36:57,562
JEREMY: Alistair. Good of you to come.
1394
01:36:57,645 --> 01:36:59,272
Harry said you wanted to see me.
1395
01:36:59,355 --> 01:37:01,232
Do you want some lunch?
1396
01:37:01,941 --> 01:37:02,942
Yeah.
1397
01:37:11,242 --> 01:37:13,586
You're with Johnny Drummond, right?
1398
01:37:14,829 --> 01:37:16,081
ALISTAIR: Dad trusts him.
1399
01:37:16,122 --> 01:37:19,797
He's a good lawyer.
What's he advising, self-defence?
1400
01:37:19,876 --> 01:37:22,504
Landlord was carrying a knife, I hear.
1401
01:37:23,087 --> 01:37:26,432
- We're going with "I was bullied into it".
- (MOBILE PHONE VIBRATING)
1402
01:37:26,507 --> 01:37:29,306
That the club scapegoated me,
which is pretty much the truth.
1403
01:37:29,385 --> 01:37:33,265
Forgive me, but wouldn't it be better
if the club could be kept out of it?
1404
01:37:35,641 --> 01:37:38,861
- I don't see how it could...
- Oh, with the right lawyer, certainly.
1405
01:37:38,936 --> 01:37:40,233
I know a man,
1406
01:37:40,271 --> 01:37:43,946
ex-member himself, very useful
at sorting out our scrapes over the years.
1407
01:37:44,567 --> 01:37:47,241
I don't give a shit about the club.
1408
01:37:47,278 --> 01:37:48,655
Smash it.
1409
01:37:51,407 --> 01:37:52,954
It's a bunker, isn't it?
1410
01:37:53,826 --> 01:37:56,750
Training up a generation
for a life in hiding.
1411
01:37:56,788 --> 01:37:58,961
We're not in hiding.
1412
01:37:59,040 --> 01:38:00,963
It's an adaptation.
1413
01:38:01,042 --> 01:38:03,261
We adapt to survive.
1414
01:38:05,004 --> 01:38:09,475
The dinners are just the beginning,
a three-year initiation, if you like.
1415
01:38:09,509 --> 01:38:12,683
Now, you might have lost your place
at college, but you're still in the club.
1416
01:38:12,762 --> 01:38:14,856
You can't afford not to be.
1417
01:38:15,640 --> 01:38:18,268
Look, why don't you come and
spend some time in my office,
1418
01:38:18,309 --> 01:38:19,526
see how we do things?
1419
01:38:20,645 --> 01:38:22,818
I don't want anything handed
to me on a plate...
1420
01:38:22,897 --> 01:38:25,320
I'm not giving you a constituency.
1421
01:38:25,400 --> 01:38:28,495
Maybe you've got it in you to
do something special one day.
1422
01:38:28,528 --> 01:38:31,828
And I'd rather you be doing it
in my camp than someone else's.
1423
01:38:42,375 --> 01:38:46,926
I'm not just offering you a better lawyer,
Alistair, I am offering you a future.
1424
01:38:57,890 --> 01:38:58,891
Good.
1425
01:39:06,399 --> 01:39:09,118
You know Lord Riot did not
spell his name R-I-O-T,
1426
01:39:09,193 --> 01:39:10,695
but R-Y-O-T?
1427
01:39:10,778 --> 01:39:13,372
Nothing to do with riotous behaviour.
1428
01:39:15,032 --> 01:39:17,626
Still, thank God, eh?
1429
01:39:17,702 --> 01:39:20,376
Thank God someone made the switch.
1430
01:39:20,413 --> 01:39:22,666
Could have just been a mistake.
1431
01:39:22,707 --> 01:39:25,551
People like us don't make mistakes, do we?
1432
01:40:06,918 --> 01:40:08,920
(PLAYING ADESTE FIDELES)
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