All language subtitles for The Wonder Years s02e06 Pottery Will Get You Nowhere.enng

Adult Dean: I'm not saying
that kids in the 1960s

were braver than the kids today,

but there wasn't
much that scared us.

Bill: Dean! Get
in here right now!

Except the sound of
an angry 1960s father.

I don't even know what I
did, but I knew it was bad,

because Daddy had his
"I'm serious" leg cross

and Mama had her
"Please don't hit him

too hard, Bill" face on.

You mind telling
me what's going on

with this report
card I just opened?

I am so sorry I got a "C" in PE.

I don't care about
the "C" in PE.

I'm glad they finally put
you on the boys' teams.

I'm mad about your music grade.

But I got an "A"
in music. Exactly.

I've heard you practice. No
way you're an "A" student.

Bill, go easy on him.

That was me going easy.

Only my dad would find a way

to be mad about the
highest possible grade.

I'm going down to
that school tomorrow

to speak with this
music teacher.

Ooh, maybe he'll show up

right when you're being
stuffed into a locker.

[ Laughs ] Shut up, Kim.

But don't come between
second and third period.

No reason.

[ Scoffs ] Well, I'm just happy
Dean's in trouble for once

and not me.

Well, we also got
the phone bill in,

and who on God's green
Earth do you know in Mobile

at 10:00 at night?

Huh?

??

Hey, Dean, come check this out.

Whoa. [ All chuckle ]

When Cory turns 14 next month,

he's gonna get his
motorcycle license.

So your parents are gonna
let you get a motorcycle?

Well, no, but all I need is
the license to show girls.

Man, this makes me want to
watch "Easy Rider" again.

I know. Yeah.

You guys have seen "Easy Rider"?

Of course we have.

It's the coolest
movie of the year.

But I mean, how?

It's rated "R".
My dad took me.

They actually let me in by myself
because of my "moo-stache."

Yeah, still can't see it.

Oh, well, you know, that's cool.

My parents are taking
me this weekend.

Even said I could have
two boxes of candy.

No big deal. You're
gonna love it, Dean.

It has everything.

Acid trips, violence, and
did I mention there's boobs?

[ Laughter ]

Boobs.

??

[ Knock on door ]

Excuse me, Mr. Van Der Kamp?

I'm Dean Williams' father.

Oh, please, please,
call me Alan.

How can I help you?

I'd like to talk to you about
his grade in music class.

I'm confused. I-I think
I gave Dean an "A."

Yes, and I think
we both can agree

he doesn't deserve that and
his grade should be lowered.

Okay. This is a first.

I don't mean any disrespect.

I just want Dean to
be challenged more.

I have higher
expectations for him.

I'm actually a professional
musician myself.

I know.

I must have seen you play
at Delwood's a dozen times.

You know about Delwood's?

I wouldn't be much
of a music teacher

if I didn't know the jazz club
that produced Scooty Carmichael.

You know about Scooty?

They say he invented
6/7 time at Delwood's.

[ Laughs ] I know all
the Scooty legends.

I'm just surprised that you do.

Because I'm so tall?

Yeah, something like that.

[ Laughter ]

Look, uh, if you're looking
to see Dean more challenged,

I'm happy to stay
after school with him

a couple of days a week.

He's got real talent.

I think that's a great idea.

Unless we're past the point

where I can bribe you
to lower his grade.

Uh, yeah, that ship
has sailed, my brother.

[ Chuckles ]

? All I know ?

? Ohhh, through the
highs and the lows ?

? I'mma find my way home ?

But before I could ask my mom

to let me see a super
cool movie with boobs,

I was getting extra
school. Hey, hey, now.

Hey, Dean, why don't
we show your dad

what we've been working on?

??

??

Is that "Oxtail Boogie"?

Yes! [ Laughs ]

Yes, it is! Great ear, Bill.

Thought you'd get
a kick out of that.

You were flat.

I, actually...

Back then, album
covers were offensive.

I brought the real thing.

Wow. Scooty live at
The Roanoke from '52.

The Noke, baby.

I never thought I'd see
one of these in real life.

Phew.

You got a minute to listen?

Well, I'm supposed to
get Dean back for dinner,

but I could probably
listen to a bit.

All right. [ Laughs ]

You know, a lot of
people don't know this,

but Scooty played
more than just sax.

Uh-oh, the one thing
we knew in our family

was that when Daddy
started talking about jazz,

we were in for a long one.

Legend has it, he
was the only person

in his high school
marching band.

??

Eventually, I had to
go to the pay phone

and call Mama to come rescue me.

??

Dean.

You said your dad
forgot about you,

but he's right there.

You hear that? [ Laughs ]

You hear that right
there? I don't believe it.

Oh, no, he's talking jazz.

Lil, hey. Oh.

Meet the only man who knows more

about Scooty Carmichael than me.

God, help me.

Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm Dean's music teacher,
Alan Van Der Kamp.

Bill: Can you believe
he has an original

Scooty Carmichael from '52?

I cannot.

Uh, I'm going to take Dean home
before he starves to death.

[ Chuckles ] Y'all don't
stay out too late, now.

Oh, and I made
spaghetti, so you know

if you eat too late,
you'll get the heartburn.

Lillian, I'll be fine.

Wow, turns out wives were just
as good at embarrassing you

in front of your
friends as moms were.

Oh, yeah, just how
he starts it, right?

Well, well, well.

Look who's finally
back from talking jazz

with his new friend.

I'll admit, I am surprised

I enjoyed talking to
him as much as I did.

He's a lot cooler
than I thought,

seeing he's a... teacher.

Well, he seems to be a
great guy for a... teacher.

You'll get to know him
better this weekend.

He invited us to a dinner party.

Oh, darn it, I'm
busy that night.

I didn't even tell you
the date yet. [ Sighs ]

What's so bad about going
to a dinner party with me?

Sorry, I just don't
want to get stuck

talking about improvisation
and syncopation all night.

Wow, after all the corporate
picnics I've been to with you?

I had to do a damn three-legged
race with Mr. Davidson.

He secretly liked
winning, though.

Fine.

You've done a lot for me,
I can do this one for you.

But if one person starts
scatting, so help me God...

You mean like this?

[ Scatting ]

[ Chuckles ]

Bill Williams, don't you try me.

[ Both scatting ]

??

Hey, there, best big
brother in the world.

[ Chuckles ] What
do you want, Dean?

Oh, wow, Army intelligence
trained you real well.

Um, anyway, I need you to
take me to see "Easy Rider."

I'm the only one of my friends
who hasn't seen it yet.

I'll do your basket of laundry.

Deal.

Seriously? Sure.

I wanted to see it anyway.

Wait, so, you'll take me,

even though it has graphic
violence, nudity, and drug use?

There's no way I
can handle all that.

[ Scoffs ] How
bad could it be?

Bruce had just come
back from the war.

His barometer for
violence was clearly off,

which worked out great for me.

Hey, Bruce, I need the car keys.

I'm headed to a
college party tonight.

It's too late, Kim.

I already told Dean I was taking
him to the movies tonight.

What? No. I need
to go to this.

How can I know what college
I want to go to next year

if I don't sample the parties?

Well, from what I hear, college
is about more than that.

I already been to
a football game.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'm sure we can come to
some sibling agreement here.

How about we drop Kim
off before the movie

if she does your
basket of laundry?

[ Sighs ] Deal.

[ Chuckles ]

Well played,
Dean. Well played.

But you should have
been more specific.

'Cause this one's still for you.

Fabric softener on
all the drawers.

??

My hat look okay?

Yes, Bill.

Are you sure a Jell-O mold
is a good thing to bring?

I know my audience.

Okay. Good.

And you're sure the hat looks
okay? 'Cause I can lose it.

The hat looks great.

Are you surprised you and
Alan hit it off so well?

Well, maybe at first, but
once we started talking music,

it was like talking
with any other guy.

He means any other Black guy.

I'm glad you're coming, Lil.

You're a little more used
to these kind of parties.

He means White parties.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll stick by your side.

Last thing I need is to be
stuck with a bunch of housewives

talking about Tupperware
and dress patterns.

Thank you, honey.

Let's hurry up.

They like to start
their events on time.

He means everybody
but Black people.

This Jell-O mold is
absolutely amazing.

Here, you can just put it
right there on the table.

Woman: Oh, oh, oh,
look who's here.

Mmm!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

This is my wife, Patty.

What a pleasure
it is to meet you.

Bill, I hear so much about
you from this one ever here.

I kinda let it slip that
you worked with Marvin Gaye

and everyone is just dying
to hear all your stories.

Oh, have I got
stories. Let's do it.

Oh, well, shouldn't I come with?

Oh, no, Lil, I'll be fine.

You ladies have fun together.

Word to the wise,
Mary gives a hard sell

on the Tupperware.

She's a force.

??

I sell Tupperware.

Oh. Alan: Oops!

Ah, almost forgot a bowl.

It's in the pantry.

??

[ Giggles ]

Gotta have a bowl.

So, do you like Tupperware?

??

So, how exactly do you expect
to get into a college party?

[ Scoffs ] Don't
worry, my friend Gloria

is gonna meet me and let me in.

Enough chitchat.

Hurry up and get
out so we don't miss

the talking popcorn and candy.

Be safe, Kim.

I.D., please.

Oh, no, I'm just
looking for Gloria.

Then I need your I. D.

Oh. Um... shoot.

I left it in my
dorm. [ Chuckles ]

Which dorm?

Um, that one.
Right over there.

Sorry, I am so bad with
names. [ Chuckles ]

That's the math building.

Oh, no, no, behind
the math building.

[ Laughs ]

You mean the creek?

Excuse me.

Come on, Kim's fine.

Nothing bad ever happens
at college parties!

Bruce?

Bruce Williams, is that you?

Ay-yo! Hold tight a sec.

I ain't seen these
cats since high school.

Well, then that means they're
probably not that important.

Let's go!

Just... Just sit
tight a sec, okay?

Listen to the radio.

Wh... Radio deejay:
Come see "Easy Rider."

It's the movie everyone's
been talking about.

Now in its final weekend.

And screw that
parental supervision.

Don't be such a baby.

Adult Dean: Okay, maybe it
didn't happen exactly that way,

but I was determined
to see this movie.

I found, when it
comes to fabric,

you cannot beat 100% polyester.

[ Gasps ] Right? I have
the cutest pattern,

and I'm gonna make all the
kids matching jumpsuits.

Aww!

Hey, uh, you ladies know
if the Jacuzzi's ready?

It's warming up right now.

Cool.

Lillian, you and Bill should
join us in the hot tub.

Oh, it is so fun.

Oh, uh, thank you,

but unfortunately we
didn't bring any swimsuits.

Don't worry. Neither did we!

[ Both chuckle ]

[ Car horn honks ]

Ugh, Bruce wasn't
leaving any time soon.

If I wanted to see the movie,
I'd have to find some adult

willing to bring a
kid into a theater.

Luckily it was the '60s
when adults were still cool.

All right, all right,
come on, guys, come on.

Enough of the war stories. I
want to hear about you two.

Well, I actually just got
named the starting shortstop

for the baseball team here.

That's great! Hey, you
always could pick it.

[ Laughter ]

Hey, man, I could put in
a good word with the coach

for you if you're interested.

Even if it would
put me on the bench

like you did in high school.

Yeah, I think my
baseball days are over.

I heard you were
wounded. Sorry.

But it must be real
nice to be working, huh?

Yeah, I'm actually not
working much, either.

I'm still getting disability
checks from the Army.

Well, your hair sure
has gotten long.

Right.

Uh, I am never getting
into that party, Bruce.

We can leave.

Okay, Kim.

But where's Dean?

I thought he was with
you. Nah, he was.

I only took my eye off
him for one second.

At this moment, I was being
chased across the creek

by the wino who
claimed he owned it.

Dean!

Then a few minutes
later, Marvin Gaye

comes out the head and says,

"Well, I guess there is
a mountain high enough."

[ Laughter ]

Bill, I think we should go home.

What? Why?

I think that this is some
kind of... sex party.

You have got to stop reading
Kim's Cosmopolitan magazines.

Sex party? My
goodness, Lillian.

Just be cool.

Hey, uh, you guys want to
come down to the basement?

I just had it
completely soundproofed.

'Cause I got my whole
recording studio down there.

Oh, hang on one sec.

Yeah, uh, Bill, I'm
gonna need your keys.

Oh, no. No.

This has gone on long enough.

I know what's happening here.

Is everything all right?

No, it's not.

Because this is a key party!

For the love of God, be cool.

No, Bill! I read
about it in Cosmo.

All the couples put
their keys into a bowl

and then they draw keys to
see who's swinging with who!

But we are not here for
your kinky games, Alan.

Uh, we just need Bill's
keys so we can move his car

so Ted and Kathy can go home.

You're blocking 'em in.

Oh. You know what?

No need.

I think it's best
if we leave, too.

Thank you for having us, Alan.

[ Door opens ]

Mary, I'll send you a check for
the deluxe Seal-N-Serve set.

??

Why do all the
buildings look the same?

Damn public funding.

Um, excuse me.

Can you tell me how to
get to the movie theater?

And please don't tell me to
look for "Upyourbutt" Street.

I'm not falling for that twice.

Oh, wow, you're going in the
completely wrong direction.

[ Sighs ]

That an Erlenmeyer flask?

How do you know what that is?

I have a chemistry set at home.

Huh, well, if you're
excited about the beaker,

wait until you see...

??

The lab.

Wow, this... this... this
lab, it has everything!

So many chemicals and...
and safety warnings!

T-This is the greatest
night of my life!

Sadly, that remained true
for many years after.

??

[ Sighs ]

I'm sorry I ruined
your new friendship.

I'm so embarrassed.

It's fine. No, it's not.

You haven't made a new friend
since the band broke up.

Please. It's not like I'm 10.

Stupid band. I hate 'em.

Oh, no. What now?

In all the commotion, I must
have left my purse there.

[ Scoffs ] No way I'm
going back into that house.

Okay, I'll just go to the
department store tomorrow

and buy a new one.

And a new wallet.

And some new sunglasses.

[ Tires screech ]

??

Dean: This is way cooler
than "Easy Rider".

Whoa. [ Chuckles ]

The resolving power on this
bad boy is through the roof!

Huh, you really know your stuff.

I don't know why all those
kids are at that party

when they could be in here.

Party?

Oh, I guess I wasn't
invited. [ Chuckles ]

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I know how that feels. No.

No need to apologize.

I'm doing exactly what I want to
be doing on my Saturday night.

So you wouldn't want to
go to a party or a-a movie

just because your
friends are going?

Not really.

I mean, that's the cool
thing about college.

You don't have to do things
you don't want to do.

Hm.

We should really get you back
to your brother and sister.

Yeah, you're right.

But maybe just one more
diopter adjustment?

[ Sighs ]

Oh, what the hell?

So, how are you feeling after
seeing your old friends?

I'm fine.

Clearly Bruce was just like Dad

when it came to
expressing his emotions.

Hey, does the one on the
baseball team got a girlfriend?

He is a fox!

And, clearly, Kim was
nowhere near like Mom

when it came to making
people feel better.

Never mind.

You ever think about
going to college?

I guess. I don't know.

I think about it all the time.

I'm a little scared, honestly.

I-I guess that wouldn't
be very scary for you.

You've already seen the world.

Well, if anybody's ready
for college, it's you, Kim.

Okay, remember when you
were 12 and your Barbie

lived in a Malibu
Dream dorm? [ Laughs ]

Too bad they don't give
scholarships for accessorizing.

[ Laughs ]

Who knows, maybe we
can enroll together.

You know we'd go for
free at Dad's school.

Great, I'd get to go to college
with my brother and my dad.

Dean: Oh, there they are!

Dean! Where you been, man?

And how'd you get
into the party,

and why you ain't
come out and get me?

Oh, well, when I got lost trying
to find my way to the movies,

Cynthia found me and
brought me back here.

She let me see the inside
of the chemistry lab.

They have tungsten
incandescent light bulbs.

Well, now that you're safe,

I think I'm gonna
head back inside.

Turns out the party's
more fun than I thought.

Tell Junebug I said bye.

Wow, Dean's had more
college experience

than both of us put together.

[ Both laugh ]

Ah, Junebug. [ Chuckles ]

??

Bill?

Sorry, I...

That's not Alan!

[ Giggles ] Oop.

All y'all up in here naked?

So Lillian was right?

This was a sex party all along.

No, no, no, it was
a dinner party,

but then some
like-minded friends

like to stick around after
dinner for, uh, second dessert.

Why didn't you say that earlier?

We assumed you and
Lillian weren't into this.

That's not why we invited
you to the dinner party.

Oh, really?

You sure you didn't tell
us, because you didn't want

a Black couple joining
in your sex party?

[ Chuckles ]

Patty: You know what?

We'll give you two some privacy.

Thanks, baby.

??

I'm sorry, Bill.

Hey, man, what you do
in your private life

is your own business.

Just a little caught
off-guard is all.

I enjoy talking to you
because, to be honest,

I don't have that many
friends who aren't into this.

He means non-freaks.

I've been in the music
business for years,

I've definitely
seen some things,

but this beats my
story about mistakenly

getting Billie
Holiday's dry cleaning.

Hope this doesn't mean we
can't still talk jazz together.

Of course we can.

Just give me a few days
to forget this image.

You got it, my man.

[ Sighs ]

Weeks.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

??

[ Women giggle ]

??

[ Sighs ]

Were they still upset?

I think they've gotten over it.

Look, Bill, I just want to
say again how sorry I am.

Apology accepted.

??

[ Engine starts ]

??

Hey, how was, um,
the dinner party?

Fine. Fine.

[ Door closes ]

How was your night here?

Fine. Fine. Fine.

Yeah, there was no need for
any more details than that.

But as a result, 15 years later,

Dad did co-write the
Whodini songs "Friends"

and the "Freaks
Come Out at Night."

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