All language subtitles for Twisted Metal S01E05us

- You know, it'd be great
if you could warn me

before you drift like that.

I fucking slammed my goddamn
head into the window.

- I said, "Hang on."
- You say that all the time.

"Hang on. I'm taking a curb.

Hang on. It's a speed bump."

I mean, at this point
it's meaningless.

- I should be mad at you
anyway. The reason we got robbed

is because you needed
a piss break again.

- Oh, come on! You
also needed to pee.

You sounded like a broken
fire hydrant back there.

- Ha!
You were listening.

- It was so loud.

I bet that vulture heard
you from three states away.

What'd he take, anyway?
- Ooh, found it!

- Are you serious?

You almost got us killed
for a bunch of stupid CDs?

- Stupid CDs? I've been building
this collection for a decade.

I have more memories in
here than I do in here.

And, I'll have you know,

good music is worth its
weight in gold nowadays.

Let's see what other
CDs this guy's got.

DMX. Got that.

Dave Matthews Band. Pass.

Hm, I've ever seen
this one before.

- Uh, it's pretty good.

I mean, you'll hate it at
first, but it grows on you.

Especially track two.

- Track t... You
know the tracks?

- What? No. Shut up.

- Should I toss it?
- No! No.

I mean, keep it or not.
I don't care. Whatever.

You know, we're not
far from Topeka.

I can walk the rest of the way.

If you leave now, you
can probably make it

to New Chicago by nightfall.

- A milkman's job is never done

until his package
is safely delivered

to its final destination.

And I'm sure your brother
would have wanted that.

Besides, you think
I'd come this far

and not see the fabled
Topeka for myself?

- Fine.

If you're dead set on it,

how about one for the road?

- It was close.

You gotta follow through.

Like this.

- That's what I'm doing.

Like this.

- Here.

To the end of our road together.

- Mmm,

now you're just showing off.

- Sorry, John.

I can't have you coming with me.

Sweet Dreams.

- Loquacious.

Boy, you're a loquacious
lad, aren't you?

Come in!

Jamie, Carl, how's
the search going?

- We have yet to
find the Mapmaker,

but we think we're close.

- I'm talking about the Milkman

and the four-fingered
girl. Where are they?

- Uh, there's been
no sign of them

since they vacated the dam.

- When they pop
up, we'll be ready.

- Pop up? Hmm.

So, pop up.

Pop up.

These two lawbreakers

ran rip-shod through
my largest outpost.

They killed my
second in command,

beat his brains in.

And you're waiting
for them to pop up?

Are they pieces
of bread, Roberts?

Are we making
fucking toast here?

- Sir, what Carl
meant was that...

- Shut the fuck up.

They defied the law,
and they defied me.

Now get out there and
look for them harder

than if you were checking
your lover for body lice.

- That's actually
my sister, sir.

We have the same...
- I know what a sister is!

Look, I want their bodies
hung from the rotunda

by this weekend.

Provide the people of Topeka

with some light Friday
night entertainment.

What do you say?
- Yes, sir.

- Okay.

Fuck off.

Well, you look like a man

who values top-shelf
entertainment.

Want to see a show?

- I don't care about your show.

I need to see your ORL now.

- My ORL.

"Orl" what?

- I'll bring you in.

- I think...

I'll bring myself in.

Shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.

I've really enjoyed
this conversation,

but let's pull a
pin in it, shall we?

Now, don't go
touching that grenade.

Very sensitive.

Hope you got some friends inside

who appreciate the arts.

- Did you hear
how they found Shepard?

- He killed himself, right?

Shit's messed up, man.
- No.

I heard a new recruit
found him half naked,

hand on his pecker,
head busted to shit

with a sexy schoolgirl
comic book next to him.

- That's the most fantastic
thing I've ever heard.

- Right?

- So Shepard
was a sex pervert?

I mean, I kind
of see it. I do.

- Oh, fuck me. Ham again.

- I'll eat that shit.

What kind of side you got?

Got any chips or puffy Cheetos?

- Hey, don't
you worry about my sides.

- I
will. I'll trade you.

- I'm not
eating those peanuts.

They're nasty.

Patrol vehicle
approaching outer gate.

Car 22 is approved.

- "Pick up
after your pet"?

Jesus.

- Damn, dude,
this place is fucked up.

Who would do that to a dog?

Separating a dog
from his best friend.

It's kind of like me
and you. I mean...

I mean, you were my best friend.

Not that I'm calling
you a dog or nothing.

You know, you can
be a mean bitch

when you want to be

with, you know,
throats and shit.

That why we're
here, little bunny?

You gonna rip some throats?

Nah, I think you're gonna end up

just like me.

- Now serving C42.

- Number's almost up, traitor.

Don't worry.

Something tells me
you'll fall fast.

- First of all, weight
doesn't equate to health.

Second, objects fall
at the same speed

regardless of mass.

Everyone knows that,
except you dipshits.

- You're actually talking
about terminal velocity,

which doesn't apply.

And if you take into
account air friction...

- Muh-muh-muh...
- Kelvin? What is it?

- Machete.

Hi, everybody!

- Wait, wait, wait,
wait. Don't leave me.

- Woman's body!

I hate cops.

- Oh, what the fuck?

- And, scene.

So, did you like it or what?

Oh, wow, applause. Thank you.

You are too kind. That
really feels good.

- I've never seen anyone
cut off a human head

and catch it as good as that.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

What brought you
here, young man?

"Oh, I just want to
get out of the scene."

Yeah, Topeka's
going to the dogs.

- You nasty motherfucker.

Down goes the zippee. Yippee!

Ooh.

Can I keep you?

Oh, shit! It's alive! Oh!

- Where's the girl?
- I didn't see no girl.

I just saw you laying
out here all dead like,

practically begging for it.

Maybe I'll just put
you back to sleep.

Oh.

- You looking for this?

- Oh, shit!

Ah!

You missed!

- Shit!

- Nah nah, nah nah, nah nah!

- Guess that worked.

Quiet?!

- Dear Jon...

- What kind of psychopath
spells John without an "H"?

- Sorry
for poisoning you.

Oh, I hope I didn't
accidentally kill you,

but I did it to save your life.

The truth is, Topeka
isn't what I said it was.

It's Stone's headquarters.

Killing Shepard wasn't enough.

Oh, by the way, I killed
Shepard at the dam.

He was jerking off.
It was a whole thing.

- Didn't need that detail.

- At least you
didn't have to see it.

Now that we're here,

I gotta make sure Stone
pays for what he did.

- I would have helped
you if you just told me.

- I would have told
you, but this isn't your fight.

Don't follow me.

Finish your delivery
and live your new life.

Be the first milkman
without an expiration date.

Good luck.

- That's actually pretty sweet.

- And go fuck yourself.

- Of course.

I guess that's it then.

Jell-O, Quiet,

whatever the hell your name was.

- Dude, what do you
think they're gonna do to you

when they catch your ass?

They're gonna kill you.

They always said you
were the smart one,

but, man, I don't know.

If this was my idea,

you'd call me a
goose-brained dunder fuck.

- Oh, my God, will
you shut the hell up?!

- Ha! Like that works.

I thought you knew your
brother better than that.

- You're not my brother.
You're just my imagination.

- You got a fucked
up imagination.

You gave me the bullet
hole and everything.

Is this how you
really remember me?

Ah, dope, right?

But imagine me, like, two
feet taller and ripped.

But not, like, too swole, just
enough to show definition.

- Fuck off!
- You fucking miss this.

- I do.

- Same.

I mean, being dead
is a total buzzkill.

At least you have the Milkman.

- Oh, John was a giant
pain in my crack.

- Dude, I'm literally
inside your brain,

and I know that's not
what you really think.

I mean, I know you've seen
him with his shirt off.

Nice back, huh?

What?

God forbid you
feel anything other

than explosive
rage for a second.

- You died five days ago.

The rage is hard to ignore.

No fucking way.

- It's a dumb
statue. Forget it.

- Forget it? They think
he's a fucking hero.

- Who gives a fuck
what they think?

- Officer.

Your vehicle's assigned
to patrol duty.

Why are you idling?

- You've got
to say something.

Silence will get you
killed here, little bunny.

- Oh, I was just
admiring our boss, ma'am.

- Yeah.

I don't, uh, recognize
your face, officer.

Are you new?

- Transferred recently.

- Hmm.

- She's on to you.
You've got to leave now.

- Fuck!

- Holy fuck.

- You're not getting
out of here alive,

you fucking traitor!

- Need a hand?

Oh, I found this
one lying around,

so you'll have to get your own.

- Thank you.

- Ah, don't mention it.
I really enjoy my work.

Hey, hold this.

- Okay.

- And I'm gonna
be back for that.

Hmm-boop!

So, uh, what's your name?

- Stu.

- Stu. I like the
mouthfeel of that.

Stu.

I'm Sweet Tooth.

Put her there!

- Nice to meet you,
Mister, uh, Tooth.

- Firm grip you got there, Stu.

Bet you have a lot
of fun with that.

You know, Stu, I got a feeling
you and I are kindred spirits.

- You think we're a lot alike?

- You bet I do.
- In, uh, in what way?

- I mean, you're a big
guy, I'm a big guy.

Your name starts with "S",
my name starts with "S".

The S Brothers, who
would have thunk it?

Uh, something catch
your peepers, Stuber?

- Yeah.

I found Mike... and Ikes.

You want some?

- Ooh, yucky.

I'm a Skittles guy.

- Let's haul ass, Evelyn.

Make up some time.

- Five flatheads on one lure?

Just a basic spooner.

- Best day of my life.

They were really
bitin' that day.

- Best day of
my life is gonna be

when I complete my
collection of state quarters.

The world went to shit
before I could find Idaho.

But you know what?
I'll get there.

The Union will be complete.

- Finished.

- I think the spot's
still there, Cliff.

- Oh, there it is.

- Agent Stone,
come in, Agent Stone.

We have a 146A.
- Be right back.

- A woman with
a missing finger, sir.

- What about the milkman?

- She's alone.

We have two patrol
cars on her tail.

- Don't worry, we'll
bring you her teeth.

- Oh, Carl. No, do not engage.

It's time I made an
example of her myself.

- You're caught! You
gotta fucking bail.

- No, I can't leave
until Stone is dead.

- The only one dead is you

if you don't leave
this fucking place.

When I died, I gave
you a second chance.

And you're throwing it away.

- You're right.

Fuck this shit!

- That's right!

That's the fuck what
I'm talking about!

Come on!

- Guard 22.

Come in, please.

What happened to your
loquacious boyfriend?

Did he bite the dust?

I have people in position
to kill you right now,

but I think I'm gonna
give you a choice.

Although, you remember
how that went last time?

You can run, in which case

we'll hunt you down like a dog.

Or, you and I can get together

and have a little chat.

Turn around

and we can finally
settle this one on one.

- Sis,

you don't have to do this.

- Shut up.

- Haha, good.

My men will show you the way.

- Aww, you remembered.

Thanks, Stuby.

So, where are you off to
now that you're a free man?

- Honestly, uh, not sure.

After Seattle, my friend and I

were looking for a
place of our own.

A Shangri-La, you know?

- Absolutely.

- But, uh, then when I got here,

he, uh, threw me under the bus.

- Oh, I've done
that before. Crunch!

Never to a friend.
I'm not a monster.

- Listen, uh, what
you did today,

saving me like that,

it's, uh, it's the
first time in a while

anyone's had my
back. So, uh, thanks.

- Well, hell, I mean, you're
a reject, I'm a reject,

we got to look out
for each other.

I mean, you are about to head
out into a dangerous world

where there are two
types of people,

those who kill and
those who get killed.

I know you're no wolf,

but there is gonna come a time

when you're gonna need to bite.

And even puppies
have fangs, Stu.

- That sort of thing is
just hard for me, I guess.

I'm sure I'll figure it out.

- Oh, well, I mean,
maybe you could,

I don't know, but,
tag along with me,

and I could help
you find your fangs.

- Yeah.

You know what? What the hell?

- You mean it?
- Yeah.

- Fuck yes! Get in there.

Aww, the S Brothers,
gonna paint the town red.

Whoa, you sit bitch,

Harold's got shotgun.

- Sorry.

So, where are we off to next?

- Well, I'm not really sure.

I mean, it felt so freeing,

ripping into those law assholes.

And the applause.

Nobody ever cheered for
me like that in Vegas.

- You know, if you want
to chase that feeling,

there are outposts like this

all up and down these routes

and all through the Midwest.

Each one of them is filled
with captives just like me,

waiting to get set free.

You save 'em and boom,

you have fans for life.

- Hmm. Fans for life.

Oh, I like that.

I don't, um, I don't really
have room for all you guys,

so maybe you should carpool.

- Fall
back; she's mine.

Welcome to Thrills
and Spills Park.

I came here every
weekend growing up.

Got my first pickle tickle
on the Ferris wheel.

But you know what
my favorite was?

The Midway, because
I love games.

Don't you?

- Gotcha.

- Peekaboo.

Say goodbye.

- Fuck!

Where do you think you're going?

- Shit!

- Miss me, mute?

- Fuck.

- See you soon, dude.

- What the fuck?

- You look pissed.

- Damn right, I'm pissed.
I only had one of those.

- I told you not to come.

- And when have I
ever listened to you?

Come on, we gotta go.

Quiet? Quiet!

Quiet, come on!

No.

Come on, Quiet.

Quiet.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Quiet!