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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,760 {\an8}Six grand. Friday. Alison, what were you doing in that van? 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:09,360 {\an8}I'm calling the police. Don't you dare! You're fired. 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,320 {\an8}I need to speak to a grown-up. No, they're busy, fart-knocker. 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,640 {\an8}I think there's someone in your garden. 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,440 {\an8}I'd watch your back an' all if I were you. Ah! 6 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,800 DOOR OPENS Hello? 7 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,000 HE MUMBLES 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,320 HE GROANS 9 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,240 RUSTLING 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,320 Oh, please don't hurt me! 11 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,040 Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, 12 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,400 thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 13 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,800 Martin Parker. Parker's Electricals. Thank you. 14 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,480 Where am I? Oi! Liam! 15 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,640 What have I told you lot about bringing your work home? 16 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,280 I am not a B 17 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,320 You are taking the piss. 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,480 Well, I tell you now - he needs to be gone before 11. 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,000 Our Sinead's bringing the baby over to watch Knots Landing. 20 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,080 And he needs shifted into the front room. 21 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,560 Fuck's sake, son. Me and Martin don't want to sit here 22 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,080 with your knackers on show. 23 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,600 Bloody hell, Mam. Why have you taken his hood off? 24 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,440 He's not supposed to see where we live. 25 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,000 Well, it's too late now, and... 26 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,920 ...he's had a good look at me. Yes, I saw you. 27 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,800 The face is up here, sweetheart. 28 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,760 We'll have a brew. 29 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,240 Won't we, Martin? Yes, please. 30 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,720 And have you checked his pockets? He could be carrying. 31 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,680 I'm not carrying anything. Wait, carrying what? 32 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,600 Hey, hey! 33 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:48,000 That's my skin. That's just me chequebook and... 34 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,080 HE SIGHS 35 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,520 Oh, no, no. 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:55,040 Martin, what have we got here, then? 37 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:57,800 Oi, what are you doing? 38 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,960 It was empty. Look, you can't keep me here for ever! 39 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,440 My family will be worried! KETTLE WHISTLES 40 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,120 Blue Monday by New Order 41 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,920 ? How does it feel 42 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,600 ? To treat me like you do? ? 43 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,760 Sisters. 44 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,880 ? When you've laid your hands upon me... ? 45 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,960 You lying 46 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,080 piece of 47 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,200 shit! 48 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,680 SHE GROANS 49 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,240 PHONE RINGS 50 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,080 SHE SIGHS 51 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,600 SHE GROANS 52 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,440 Who played the character Lukewarm in Porridge? 53 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,920 That's B, Christopher Biggins, love. 54 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,400 No, B. 55 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:55,560 Has he asked if you want breakfast? Do I look like a Little Chef? 56 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,760 I'll sort you out, love. Don't feed him, Mam. 57 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,240 He's not having a sleepover. He's been kidnapped. 58 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,240 I'll knock us up a round of toasties. 59 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,120 I hear you've been getting all cocky with our Ryan, 60 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,600 threatening not to pay up. 61 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,120 You don't call the shots round here, mate. 62 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,000 Me and my brothers do that. 63 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,760 If you don't pay, you have to pay in other ways. 64 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,240 And he doesn't mean cheques. 65 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:24,560 What? Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thank you. 66 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,360 No, I'm a married man. Straight as a die. 67 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,360 And very much into women. 68 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,880 No, thank you. No, not gay stuff! 69 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,400 Oh, with her? In your dreams! 70 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,000 Seven grand. Friday. 71 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,080 Seven? How come it's seven? It was six yesterday. 72 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:47,120 We know you've got cash, Parker. Nice big house. 73 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,760 And that is a dead posh school your girl goes to. 74 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:55,320 You can do what you like to me, but stay away from my daughter. 75 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,160 I can't promise anything, mate. 76 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,480 I'd leave that a minute. Burn the bastard mouth off you, them. 77 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,880 It's the beans. They're like lava. 78 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,200 People are suing. It was on That's Life! 79 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,280 Oh... Look, tell him I can pay the money back. 80 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,680 Please. I just need more time, eh? 81 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:19,640 Remember, God never closes a door without opening a window. OK. 82 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,440 I can give you a bit more time if you want. 83 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:27,280 Oh, that'd be great. Thanks. Just need to do a little job. 84 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:30,520 What's that? Different type of white goods, that. 85 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:34,000 Drugs?! No, no. No way. If you give it back now, 86 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,480 it'll still have your prints all over it, mate. 87 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,040 Needs dropping off by tomorrow. 88 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,920 No. No, you've got the wrong fella, mate. 89 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,200 This is not me. I'm not into drugs. 90 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,680 In fact, I'm very anti drugs. 91 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,200 ? Just say no! ? 92 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,760 Ah, poor wee Zammo. 93 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,280 Hey... No, forget it. 94 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,760 I am not doing a drug drop. 95 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,040 People know me. I'm a pillar in the community. 96 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,920 I've got a recognisable face. That's your problem. 97 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,400 Grow a beard. What, by tomorrow? 98 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,440 Yeah. 99 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:11,200 Oh, come on, Diane. You can do this. You can do this. Come on. Oh... 100 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,480 What are we doing? Ah! 101 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,200 Where are we? 102 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,720 What the hell? Have you been here all the time? 103 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,400 Yeah. I didn't want to wake Gladys last night. 104 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,360 It's very comfy, actually. What is wrong with you?! 105 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,200 Oh! I feel like I've been dug up. 106 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,080 You do look a bit rough, bless. 107 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,480 Maybe you're coming down with summat, Di. 108 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,720 I think it might have something to do with the amount of alcohol 109 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:40,240 we had last night. Yeah. Might be that pill off Bev. 110 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,040 Why? What was in it? I don't know. 111 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,480 Well, I feel absolutely terrible. 112 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,840 This doesn't feel like a normal hangover. 113 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:51,520 What a night, though, eh? What a night! Right laugh. 114 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,720 I've not had a night like that for... ever. 115 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,440 Well, I had fun. Yes, I saw. Everyone saw. 116 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,800 I tell you what, that man was all over me 117 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:07,000 like a pigeon on a chip. Man? He was barely legal, Kath. 118 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,360 Feeling a little bit tender now, though, if I'm honest with you. 119 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,640 He's mauled you! You know what they say. 120 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,400 Best way to get over a man is... get under another one. 121 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,400 Classy. 122 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,240 What are you doing? Just get... 123 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,120 Oh, Kath, please! Can you just wait, please? 124 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,200 I'm sorry. Feet off the seats, please! 125 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,640 SHE EXHALES 126 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,600 What are we doing back here, anyway? 127 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,600 Turns out this is Martin's accountant's place. 128 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,720 Oh, aye. What's her name? 129 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,360 Alan. Alan? 130 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,240 Called me this morning. Said he's got something for me. 131 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,040 Hmm. Has he now? I don't know what it is. 132 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,600 He was in a phone box, and the pips were going. 133 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,360 Desperate to see me. Oh? 134 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,840 Maybe he can shed some light on all this funny business. 135 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,920 I'll come in with you. I don't think so. Come on. 136 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,400 Let me help you. 137 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,000 I tell you, I could flirt with him, get the info. 138 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,200 Is he single? Yes, he is. Oh, but that's not your usual type, is it? 139 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,280 I'll give it a bash. 140 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,640 See where we get. 141 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,360 I'll have him. 142 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,120 You're going to have to get out, mate. 143 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,880 Can I borrow 40p for the bus? 144 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,040 SHE MUTTERS 145 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,080 See if Diane's got anything. 146 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,360 Cheers. Get yourself a drink or summat. 147 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,040 Oh... 148 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,960 Yes. Let's do this. 149 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,320 You got any mints? 150 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,840 Got your Racing Post, bag of bonbons 151 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:46,440 and there's a little something else in there for you. Know what I mean? 152 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,000 Well, if it's grapes, I hope they're soft, 153 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,160 cos I've not brought me teeth. 154 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,520 What the bloody hell is that for? Revenge. 155 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,240 He'll be shitting teeth by the time we've finished with him. 156 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,520 Are you going to do it? 157 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,360 ALAN GRUNTS 158 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,320 I didn't know that... you two knew about each other. 159 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,800 SHE GIGGLES 160 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,160 You must be Kath. Who wants to know? 161 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,040 This is nice. 162 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,360 Thank you. St Michael's, but...M 163 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,120 Oh. Sexy. 164 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:32,520 Do you know who'd look good wearing that? Who? 165 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,920 The floor. 166 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,840 My bedroom floor. 167 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,440 Yeah. 168 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,680 KATH EXHALES 169 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,440 SHE MUTTERS I'm sorry. I messed up... 170 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,040 I don't know what I'm saying. Did anyone follow you here? 171 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,400 No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. Are you going away? 172 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,000 Look... I'm going to stay with some friends of mine. 173 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,240 Edwin and Andrew. They run a guesthouse in Brighton. 174 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,960 Oh, nice. The Purple Pickle. Cut the crap, Alan. 175 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:07,120 Why are we here? Mrs Parker, you are both getting screwed. 176 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,880 Er, no. No, thank you. We're not into any of that sister shit. 177 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,120 We're only just back on speaking terms. 178 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,000 No, no, I'm... I'm just the numbers man. And I wanted to tell you 179 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,520 you've both been named as shareholders on the business. 180 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,120 It's a classic tax dodge. Can I stop you there, Alan? 181 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,520 What star sign are you? Virgo? 182 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,080 Kath, please. Sorry, Alan. 183 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,520 What does that actually mean? 184 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,280 Well, it means that if you two put your shares together, 185 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,680 you'd have a majority over him. Yeah? You could force him out. 186 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:46,760 Out of what? Out of the business. 187 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:51,440 You'd have a majority share. You'd own Parker's outright. 188 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,400 Both of you. 189 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:57,560 For years, he's treated me like dirt. 190 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,360 Spoke to me like I was nothing. 191 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,920 Now I'll never let anyone speak to me like that. 192 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,400 I've been completely loyal to him, 193 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:11,120 and he's just thrown it all back in my face. He's a narcissist. 194 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,880 It's time that man got his comeuppance. 195 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,800 It's a bit dramatic. 196 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:21,360 Ladies, if we work together, we can ruin him. 197 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,720 The business is his baby. 198 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:28,080 If we take it off him, he's got nothing. 199 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,560 It's a good business, too. He's just made poor decisions. 200 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,080 You two, you could make it great again. 201 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,440 And what do you get out of this, Alan? 202 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,360 Nothing, apart from complete and utter enjoyment 203 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,400 at witnessing his downfall. 204 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:46,440 Wouldn't you like that, too? After everything he's done to you, 205 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,560 I mean, you must be livid. 206 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:54,120 Go to his office and get that shareholder agreement. 207 00:10:55,880 --> 00:11:00,400 Filing cabinet, top drawer, blue folder. 208 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,040 You will need that for proof for the bank. 209 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,280 Any questions? 210 00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:09,160 Yeah. 211 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,360 Why is it called the Purple Pickle? 212 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,760 I did warn you. Told you they were hot. 213 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,680 Stick your tongue under the cold tap 214 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:26,880 and don't go making a mess in there. I've just Jiffed. 215 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,920 Bastard. 216 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,000 Mirror In The Bathroom by The Beat 217 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,520 ? Mirror in the bathroom, please talk free 218 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,240 ? The door is locked, just you and me 219 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,080 ? Can I take you to a restaurant... ? 220 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,320 Oh, you forgot the other boot, you wanker. 221 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,160 HE GASPS 222 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,720 HAMMERING ON DOOR 223 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,000 Come on, Parker. What are you playing at? 224 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,080 What is Kilroy up to in there? 225 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:21,000 Better not be taking a dump. Dragged up. 226 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:25,680 ? Just 1,000 reflections of my own sweet self, self, self... ? 227 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,040 HE YELLS 228 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:44,840 Bus stop. 229 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,840 Yeah. You forget about buses, don't you? 230 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,800 Oh, for fuck's sake. 231 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,760 Little vandals! 232 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,360 BUS APPROACHES Oh! 233 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,320 Sorry, love. Bit of a rush. 234 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:05,000 Where to? Er, town, please. 40p. What? 235 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,720 No... I don't suppose you'd take a cheque? 40p cash, 236 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,440 or 95 for a Day Saver. Look, this is very embarrassing. 237 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,720 You probably recognise my face from the telly? 238 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,720 Martin Parker. Parker's Electricals. 239 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,120 "Top deal. What an offer!" 240 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,000 Eh? No. Well, if you bring me into town, 241 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,000 you can have whatever electrical device you want under 20 quid. 242 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,080 SodaStream for the kiddies, kettle for the Mrs. 243 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,000 Two. What? 244 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,480 Two SodaStreams, you got yourself a deal. 245 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,120 Don't worry, love. I'll pay for him. Ha-ha! For a Walkman. 246 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,760 What?! Here y'are, mate. I'll do it for one SodaStream. 247 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,760 Yeah. All right, all right. You can all have whatever you want. Just go! 248 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,720 ? Mirror in the bathroom... ? 249 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,080 HE HISSES 250 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,400 ? Mirror in the bathroom... ? 251 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:00,000 You're bloody tapped, you. What the hell are you thinking? 252 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,760 We need him gone. He's poison. 253 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,000 If you don't do something, he'll never stop. You know that. 254 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,040 So you want me to kill the man? 255 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,520 No. Just scare him off. 256 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:15,240 With a blunt bread knife? They'll lock me up. 257 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:19,000 So they'll throw you in Strangeways. I can visit. 258 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:23,760 You get three meals a day. And they've just had a new roof. 259 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,560 Bloody hell, Gladys. I'm on pills here for blood pressure. 260 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:32,240 This'll see me off, never mind him. Well, if you won't do it, I will. 261 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:36,160 We need to do this for Kath. And Diane. 262 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,880 If you like. 263 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,680 Do you mind dropping me off? I'm still in last night's knickers, 264 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,480 and I've got a demi wave at two. Fine. 265 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,480 He's a bit intense, that Alan, in't he? Typical Virgo. 266 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,480 Did you know about this? What? 267 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,640 Did you know that he put your name down on the business, too? 268 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,000 Did I hell? Martin never talks to me about work. 269 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,360 I'm not interested. You've seen one toaster, you've seen 'em all. 270 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:06,000 Well, why did he put your name down, then? I don't know. Tax stuff. 271 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,200 That's what Alan said. And I was just starting to feel sorry for you. 272 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,240 Honest, Di. I didn't have a clue. 273 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,920 You do realise you are stealing my kids' inheritance? 274 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,640 No. No, I'm not. I promise you. 275 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,920 Look, I'll prove it. I can get Martin to give me the document. 276 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,680 I've got my ways. Trust me. 277 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,320 What have you come as? 278 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,600 Where have you been? Cobbler's. 279 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,960 Dropped me boot off on the way in, getting re-heeled. Weird. 280 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,440 Julie... Julie! 281 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,600 What the hell's this doing here? Oh, some lad dropped it off. 282 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,320 Cocky little shit. Didn't look like a cobbler. 283 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,760 Brought his bike into t'shop and were doing bunny hops 284 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,720 near t'chest freezers. You've only just missed him. 285 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,640 Anyway, he said you'd know what it were. 286 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,760 So I just need to check up on a few things... Lee. 287 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,560 I don't normally involve myself in this side of things. 288 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,000 Martin, my husband, normally does the money. 289 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,400 Never get married, Lee! I'm engaged. 290 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:34,480 Trust me. Walk away now. She's six months pregnant. Twins. 291 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,040 She's massive. Congratulations. 292 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,640 So, just out of curiosity, it's just like a little fun exercise, 293 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:46,960 if one was to leave one's husband, what would happen? 294 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,720 I'm not really qualified to talk about that kind of thing. 295 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,400 Mmm. I've only been here eight months. I'm usually on the counter. 296 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,760 Oh. Not really enjoying it, if I'm honest. Not sure it's for me. 297 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,240 Yeah. No, I just meant, you know, hypothetically, 298 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,680 in a financial kind of way. 299 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,040 I mean, I'm not going to leave him, obviously, but if I did, 300 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,000 it's just good to know... I get it. Say no more. 301 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,600 One of them, is he? Let's have a butcher's. 302 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:16,600 So, your accounts have looked better. What's that? 303 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,120 You've remortgaged the house. I beg your pardon? 304 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:24,040 Several missed payments on loans. That isn't good. I do know that. 305 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,720 Loans? No, dear God, no. We don't have any loans. 306 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,600 It's all there, all that red, the whole screen, really. 307 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,000 Can you check again? I think you've got the wrong details. 308 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,960 No, it's Parker. Parker. P for prick. A for arsehole. 309 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,600 Sorry... Can you just...? Can you just check again, please? 310 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,520 It's all there. It's not good. I'm flushing. 311 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,680 Can you tell me how much money I do have, Lee? 312 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,400 Can you at least tell me that, please? 313 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,640 AIR HORN BLASTS, SHE SHRIEKS 314 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,640 Come on. You're on. We're cycling to Paris for Pudsey. 315 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,840 What? It's my turn. Best of luck with it. Right... 316 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:58,080 Hi, Mrs Parker. It's me Dave. Dave Jackson. 317 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,120 You go to aqua aerobics with me mum. Winnie Jackson? 318 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,720 Oh, Winnie. Yes, Winnie. Yes. Lovely, lovely Winnie. 319 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,840 So... How nice. You wait till I tell her I served you. 320 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,560 She's going to be proper made up. 321 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,680 Right, then... What are we looking at here? 322 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,000 BELL RINGS, SHE GASPS 323 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,680 CHEERING 324 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,720 We've made it to Kent! Oh, brilliant. 325 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,520 Pam? 326 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,360 Pam, t'monitor's on t'blink again. Huh? 327 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,360 What have I told you about knocking? 328 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,760 And just for t'record, that's one of my teabags from home. 329 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,960 Oh, and guess who was in t'shop earlier. 330 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,080 That Rita Pelly. 331 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,200 Worked here in t' summer. Minger. 332 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,840 Well... she's come into some money. How much money? Shitload. 333 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,880 What did you say her name was again? Rita. You sacked her. 334 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,080 Oh, bollocks. Walking around like that. 335 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,920 Like she's royalty or summat. 336 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,440 Bragging cos she's got satellite telly. 337 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,560 Still got a face like a bulldog licking its... 338 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,280 Thank you, Julie. 339 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,480 Have you phoned Diane 340 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,480 to remind her about dinner at Sandy's tonight? 341 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,040 Yeah, it's on my list. 342 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,400 Oh, what's up with that kettle? 343 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,800 Broke. I'm sending it back. 344 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaking of kettles... tea? 345 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,520 Hmm. 346 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,320 HE GULPS AND SWALLOWS NOISILY 347 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,920 OK. But I'm re-using the same bag. 348 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:54,920 Is Martin around? 349 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,520 Thank you. 350 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,120 There you go. 351 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,640 Hi, mate, just nipping up. Oh, sorry, Kath. Not today. 352 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,520 He said no visitors. He'll go mad if I let anyone up. 353 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,760 He's in a right old grump. 354 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,680 Oh. I think he's been out on the sauce. Came in with one shoe on. 355 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,600 Some lad on a bike delivered t'other. 356 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,480 But, hey, nowt to do with me. 357 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,920 Right. 358 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,120 You look pretty. 359 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,880 Have you changed your hair? 360 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,440 I'm just growing it out for t'wedding. 361 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,800 Have you booked your hairdresser for the big day? 362 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,920 Do you think I need one? It'd be a nice treat. 363 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,120 Yeah. I can do your hair for you if you want. 364 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,800 Would you? I can do any style. 365 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,440 I can do curls, chignons... 366 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,000 ...and blue rinse. 367 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,400 Maybe just a bit of backcombing? 368 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,560 I'm just going to nip up to the office to use the phone. 369 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,240 I'm going to need to order some more lacquer. 370 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,480 DOOR OPENS Oh, for fuck... 371 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,640 Now is not a good time, Kath. 372 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:05,520 I don't give a frig if you think it's a good time, Martin. 373 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,960 Go home, Kath. 374 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,360 Please, just go home. 375 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,400 I don't have a home, remember? 376 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,200 I'm top-and-tailing with an 80-year-old. 377 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,320 And believe you me, it's no fun waking up next to them trotters. 378 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,720 Did you get my fax? 379 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,960 And? 380 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,000 HE SIGHS 381 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,880 What are you doing? 382 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,320 It's sexy time, Martin. 383 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,000 Body Talk by Imagination 384 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,120 Ooh. 385 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,400 No, Kath, don't do this to me! 386 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,240 No, Kath. 387 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,760 Yes, Martin. 388 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,360 It's our song. 389 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,640 ? Morning, afternoon and night 390 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,840 ? We lay together side by side 391 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,320 ? Searchin' for lust Searchin' for breath 392 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,960 ? Searchin' for the touch of life 393 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,000 ? No words are spoken 394 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,680 ? The only sound we hear is 395 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,720 ? Body talk 396 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,400 ? Body talk 397 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:41,480 ? The heat of passion is such a beautiful thing 398 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,560 ? As it overflows Pleasure grows... ? 399 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,200 ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS 400 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,000 All right, Diane? How's it going? 401 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,240 Martin said to remind you about some dinner thing tonight 402 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,760 at Sandy Cooper's. 403 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,880 Taxi is booked for half six. 404 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,440 Yeah, hang on. 405 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,120 I think I need to put that. Yeah. I'm booking a taxi 406 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,320 for half six. Have a nice time. 407 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,760 ? ..Body talk 408 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,800 ? Body talk 409 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:08,840 ? Body talk... ? 410 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,000 Um, I'm going to t'pictures. 411 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,040 I'm off to see RoboCop two. 412 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,680 I've not even seen the first one. 413 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,440 Thank you. 414 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,840 ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS 415 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,200 HE SIGHS 416 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,200 I miss this. 417 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:27,920 I miss us. 418 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,160 I've ballsed up. 419 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,240 Yeah. Big style. 420 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,320 I'm in deep shit. 421 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,240 It's endless, Kath. 422 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,680 The shit is never-ending. 423 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,320 I'm in never-ending deep shit. 424 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,600 Oh, shit. 425 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,760 HE SIGHS I've been stupid. 426 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,320 Really stupid. 427 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,800 Got involved with a bunch of dodgy people. 428 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,120 I borrowed a bit of money, you know, 429 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,640 to keep the wolf from the door. And now they want it back. 430 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,920 And they keep wanting more and more. 431 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,960 I'm getting it together. 432 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,240 I'm just under a grand and a half shy. 433 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,240 But... if I don't... 434 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,520 Oh, bloody hell. 435 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,880 Who? Who are they? 436 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,520 The Slater brothers. 437 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:17,760 I did it for us. 438 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,960 For me and you. 439 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,000 You do silly things when you're in love, don't you? 440 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,240 Well, tell me about it. I once had a pixie cut 441 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,400 cos you said you had a thing for Twiggy. 442 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,840 That did nothing for you, that. 443 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,000 It's breaking my heart seeing you like this, Martin. 444 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,680 Now, I don't have much, 445 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,520 but you can have whatever I can get my hands on. 446 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,960 I get paid tomorrow. 447 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,840 You can have that. You can have it all. 448 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,400 Although I do owe Gladys for, like, sugar and stuff. 449 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,960 I need to pay that. 450 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,360 And a couple of quid for the catalogue. 451 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:54,560 You don't have to do that. 452 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,600 Oh, and I sponsored Betty's grandson. 453 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,440 He's just walked up Scafell Pike 454 00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,840 dressed as Miss Piggy for Ethiopians. 455 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,520 But after that, you can have all of it. All of it. 456 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,520 Nobody's going to hurt you, Martin. 457 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,200 We'll sort this. 458 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,560 I don't deserve you. 459 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,480 Would you like my lucky pebble? 460 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,720 Nah. 461 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,120 Oh... 462 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,920 I love you, Kath Pennington. 463 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,880 Oh, Martin... Right. 464 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,480 Ooh! 465 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,880 Sisters. 466 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,320 We've got each other now. 467 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,560 FILING CABINET RATTLES What are you doing? 468 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,880 Go on. You've distracted me enough. 469 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,760 Oh, Gladys... 470 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,000 Ballsed up again. 471 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,360 I'm sure he's got some kind of voodoo over me. 472 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:09,000 It's like an out-of-body experience. 473 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,200 I just can't stop myself. 474 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,040 What's that? It's a kettle. 475 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,880 Yours is bust. DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 476 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,440 Oh, God. Diane's going to go ape. 477 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,760 Went in there all, like, strong and stuff, 478 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,400 and before you know it, bra's off, knickers down. 479 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,600 That'll be the fax. 480 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,280 I'm telling you, men can't resist a good pair of tits, 481 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,760 even in black and white. 482 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,760 Oh, God. What is wrong with me? 483 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,360 Bloody hell, Kath. Do you never learn? 484 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,680 I take it you don't want his kettle, then? 485 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,960 It's here now. 486 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,920 If a bloke ever got me a kettle, 487 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,520 I'd knock his bastard teeth out wi' it. 488 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,160 I'm not that fussy. 489 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,400 Used to do it for an egg in the war. 490 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,960 I would now, to be honest. 491 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,760 He won't notice. 492 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,680 Christ on a bike! Where is it? 493 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,480 Don't know why you're making such a fuss. 494 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,880 It was on the side, Julie. It was on the side! 495 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,280 Who's going to nick a bust kettle? 496 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,560 Who... 497 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,920 Klepto Kath! Should've known. 498 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,520 Oh, would now be a good time to ask for next Monday off? 499 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,480 I've got a big christening due on Sunday, and I don't want 500 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,320 to have to get up early to call in sick. 501 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,040 Shall I take that as a yes? 502 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,440 He's told me everything. Everything. 503 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,840 And I can't tell you, cos it's confidential. 504 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,040 But I can't tell you that it's bad. 505 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,080 Mm. 506 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,280 I know he's a bastard and that. He's a broken man. 507 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,360 What the bloody hell is this? 508 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,880 Is it a free gift? 509 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,120 Oh. 510 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:40,000 Happen they're mints. No, they're not mints. 511 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,520 What does the note say? 512 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,480 "450 love doves"? 513 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,320 Is that an address? 514 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,640 I don't know. 515 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,400 No. No, it's not an address. 516 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,040 Ladies, we've only gone and hit the fucking jackpot. 517 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,800 Oh, what are you on about? 518 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,040 These bad boys are ecstasy tablets. 519 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,200 There's a fair few grand worth here, easy. 520 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,920 KNOCK ON DOOR Hello! 521 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:02,960 I'll make a brew. 522 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,960 Did you get it? 523 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,880 Hiya. You look pretty. 524 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,360 You didn't get it, did you? 525 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,920 I went there. I did. But that Julie wouldn't let me up. 526 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,800 She had to practically wrestle me to the ground, 527 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,520 I was trying that hard to get in. It's not my fault. 528 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,960 CAR PULLS UP Oh, bollocks. 529 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,360 She's got massive hands. 530 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,800 What's he doing here? Oh, shit. 531 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,400 He can't see us together. Not... Not... Not yet. 532 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,880 Oh, shit. What are we going to do? 533 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,480 ? Oh, oh-oh-oh 534 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,200 ? Oh, oh-oh-oh 535 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,880 ? Oh, oh-oh-oh 536 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,680 ? Love is, love is 537 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:53,840 ? Love is the drug... ? 538 00:28:53,890 --> 00:28:58,440 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40444

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