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1
00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:07,886
Okay, hon.
All right, then I'll see you around 10.
2
00:00:08,097 --> 00:00:09,259
All right. Bye-bye.
3
00:00:09,473 --> 00:00:11,464
Listen, Carrie's not gonna
make it home for dinner.
4
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:12,962
So I'm gonna order us some pizza.
5
00:00:13,183 --> 00:00:15,139
- From where?
- From Sal's.
6
00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:17,798
Sal's? Have you lost your mind?
7
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,640
Okay, not Sal's. Then from where?
8
00:00:20,894 --> 00:00:23,644
A little neighbourhood joint
called Domino's.
9
00:00:29,022 --> 00:00:31,096
Domino's?
10
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,688
Yeah, that's it.
11
00:00:34,732 --> 00:00:35,846
All right, what's the number?
12
00:00:36,107 --> 00:00:39,605
It's 1-718-11-68-011.
13
00:00:40,776 --> 00:00:44,152
All right, look,
I have way too many numbers, okay?
14
00:00:44,189 --> 00:00:45,610
I gave you the area code.
15
00:00:45,861 --> 00:00:48,564
We're in the area code.
I don't need to dial it.
16
00:00:48,820 --> 00:00:51,274
- Okay, ready?
- I'm ready.
17
00:00:51,530 --> 00:00:52,525
One-one-68-
18
00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:54,653
Okay, you know what?
19
00:00:56,115 --> 00:00:57,822
How about
a little phone-number rhythm, huh?
20
00:00:58,032 --> 00:00:59,573
You know, a little:
21
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,944
- Got it?
- I got it.
22
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,155
Okay.
23
00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:08,194
- One...
- Yeah.
24
00:01:08,411 --> 00:01:09,406
- Six...
- Yup.
25
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,077
Teen.
26
00:01:15,455 --> 00:01:19,320
I already dialled the six! I can't
go back in time and slip a one in!
27
00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:22,153
Well, whose fault is that?!
28
00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:29,248
I'm making a sandwich.
Why don't you order from McDonald's?
29
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:50,539
Hi, I brought my engagement ring in
to be cleaned a couple of days ago.
30
00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:52,881
Oh, yes, Mrs Heffernan, right?
31
00:01:53,135 --> 00:01:54,628
- Yeah, that's right.
- Hey, honey.
32
00:01:54,844 --> 00:01:57,677
It's the 29th today.
33
00:01:58,470 --> 00:01:59,632
Thanks.
34
00:02:00,930 --> 00:02:02,091
So is it ready?
35
00:02:02,347 --> 00:02:03,342
Oh, yes.
36
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,511
You know,
this is quite an unusual ring.
37
00:02:05,723 --> 00:02:07,216
Where did you purchase it?
38
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:09,548
Actually, my husband bought it. He...
39
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,763
Hey, husky. Come here.
40
00:02:21,604 --> 00:02:24,175
Where was the antique sale
where you got this?
41
00:02:24,438 --> 00:02:29,014
Out in Hempstead. I got that
and the iron dog that eats nickels.
42
00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:31,560
Would you mind
if I ask what you paid?
43
00:02:31,816 --> 00:02:33,226
Two thousand.
44
00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:37,099
Well, Mr Heffernan, you got yourself
an extraordinary bargain.
45
00:02:37,318 --> 00:02:39,641
Between the unusual setting
and the stone itself,
46
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:43,061
this ring is easily worth $10,000.
47
00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:45,314
- What?
- Get out of here.
48
00:02:45,529 --> 00:02:46,726
Are you sure?
49
00:02:46,988 --> 00:02:49,821
Oh, yes, a rose-cut diamond
in a pav� setting.
50
00:02:50,031 --> 00:02:51,488
Very rare.
51
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:55,651
Wow, a rose-cut diamond
in a pav� setting.
52
00:02:55,866 --> 00:02:59,991
You really fell ass-backwards
into something, didn't you, hon?
53
00:03:00,243 --> 00:03:01,617
I guess so.
54
00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:05,193
So any interest in selling it?
55
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,697
No.
56
00:03:06,912 --> 00:03:09,745
I could go as high as 12,000.
57
00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:12,526
No.
58
00:03:12,747 --> 00:03:13,778
- No, right?
- Right, right.
59
00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:15,539
- Yeah. Thank you, though.
- No, no, no.
60
00:03:15,748 --> 00:03:18,617
Well, if you change your mind,
let me know.
61
00:03:18,874 --> 00:03:20,072
Okay.
62
00:03:23,626 --> 00:03:27,573
I know, I'm really sporting
quite the gem, huh?
63
00:03:27,836 --> 00:03:31,167
This thing makes your breasts
look huge.
64
00:03:37,339 --> 00:03:38,916
Man, I gotta tell you, for 12 G's,
65
00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:42,333
I'd sell that ring
with my wife still attached.
66
00:03:42,549 --> 00:03:44,671
Hey, it's not mine to sell, you know?
67
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,415
I gave it to her when I proposed.
It's her ring.
68
00:03:47,635 --> 00:03:51,250
If I'd known it was this valuable,
I would've held onto it.
69
00:03:51,511 --> 00:03:54,083
Come on,
you could talk her into selling.
70
00:03:54,345 --> 00:03:56,088
- Are you crazy?
- What?
71
00:03:56,346 --> 00:04:00,839
If he makes one move on that ring,
she'll snap his neck... like a chicken.
72
00:04:01,681 --> 00:04:03,340
As well she should.
73
00:04:03,599 --> 00:04:05,804
You know, an engagement ring
is supposed to be a symbol
74
00:04:06,016 --> 00:04:08,885
of a man's lifelong devotion
to his wife.
75
00:04:09,142 --> 00:04:12,058
Yeah, well, today it's looking
like a big bag of money.
76
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,060
Think about it, Moose.
77
00:04:15,269 --> 00:04:18,103
With all that scratch, you could buy
something you really been wanting.
78
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:21,265
Like maybe a new satellite dish.
79
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,928
Okay, I change my vote.
Dump that sucker, man.
80
00:04:25,106 --> 00:04:27,062
It's not a vote.
What do you care more about?
81
00:04:27,315 --> 00:04:30,019
Some stupid satellite dish
or your marriage?
82
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:39,485
Oh, hey, Daddy.
I thought you were gonna take a nap.
83
00:04:39,695 --> 00:04:43,358
I tried, lucky I get three hours
before the phone woke me up.
84
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,697
I was having a good, sexy dream too.
85
00:04:46,906 --> 00:04:49,858
- Who was it?
- At first it was Eydie Gorm�.
86
00:04:50,074 --> 00:04:52,907
Then she turned
into my cousin Lola.
87
00:04:53,158 --> 00:04:54,900
Okay, I meant
who was on the phone.
88
00:04:55,117 --> 00:04:58,698
Oh, some guy named Elliott.
89
00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:00,783
Said he'd go as high as 13.
90
00:05:01,036 --> 00:05:02,862
Thirteen thousand?
91
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,910
Thirteen thousand for what?
92
00:05:05,162 --> 00:05:06,704
My engagement ring.
93
00:05:06,955 --> 00:05:08,413
You're selling your jewellery?
94
00:05:08,622 --> 00:05:10,660
Why? You kids got a drug habit?
95
00:05:10,873 --> 00:05:12,580
You got the monkey on your back?
96
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,123
No, Dad, we've kicked.
97
00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:20,575
It just turns out
that my engagement ring
98
00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:25,378
is worth a lot more
than what Doug paid for it.
99
00:05:25,414 --> 00:05:26,955
So, what are you gonna do? Sell it?
100
00:05:27,212 --> 00:05:29,915
No, I'm not gonna sell it.
It's my engagement ring.
101
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,536
I love it.
102
00:05:32,797 --> 00:05:37,456
Well, you know,
I love it because Doug gave it to me.
103
00:05:37,674 --> 00:05:41,005
The ring itself,
a little busy for my taste.
104
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:44,050
The whole butterfly motif.
105
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,714
Basically, it's a diamond in a bug.
106
00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:49,962
I don't know what to do.
107
00:05:50,179 --> 00:05:51,636
All right, let me tell you something.
108
00:05:51,846 --> 00:05:53,387
Sit down.
109
00:05:53,596 --> 00:05:56,133
Let me tell you a little story.
110
00:05:56,347 --> 00:05:58,303
One day, back in '43,
111
00:05:58,515 --> 00:06:01,929
I was sitting at Chock full o'Nuts
eating a tuna sandwich.
112
00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:03,967
This fella comes up to me,
shivering,
113
00:06:04,184 --> 00:06:06,851
and offers me $10
for my favourite fedora.
114
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:09,300
Ten dollars. A fortune.
115
00:06:10,311 --> 00:06:13,096
In those days, you could buy a bag
full of liquorice for a penny
116
00:06:13,312 --> 00:06:14,971
and still get change.
117
00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:17,720
That's wrong, but...
118
00:06:18,522 --> 00:06:23,726
I told him, "Keep your $10,"
and I took him across the street
119
00:06:23,941 --> 00:06:27,272
and I bought him the liquorice
that he wanted.
120
00:06:29,193 --> 00:06:31,860
I thought he wanted your fedora.
121
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,101
How'd I get screwed up here?
122
00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:44,698
Hey, what you doing?
You checking out the treasure?
123
00:06:45,407 --> 00:06:46,437
It is a treasure, honey.
124
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:50,024
Not because of what it's worth,
but because you gave it to me.
125
00:06:50,784 --> 00:06:53,801
- That is so nice. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
126
00:06:53,838 --> 00:06:56,819
I can't believe that guy
thought we'd sell it.
127
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,484
I know, I mean,
the one symbol of our love.
128
00:06:59,704 --> 00:07:02,952
Hello? Can't put a price tag on that.
129
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:04,402
Of course not.
130
00:07:04,664 --> 00:07:06,620
I mean, maybe if the price tag
were like 100,000,
131
00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:08,408
then yeah, maybe, right?
132
00:07:08,623 --> 00:07:10,081
Or even like 50,000.
133
00:07:10,332 --> 00:07:13,035
- Oh, 50, it's gone, babe.
- Yeah, yeah, goodbye.
134
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:15,990
But not for anything less than 50.
135
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:18,919
Right, like if he said to me,
you know, "Hey, I'll give you 25."
136
00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:20,579
Right. Right.
137
00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:22,620
No.
138
00:07:22,837 --> 00:07:24,496
No.
139
00:07:26,588 --> 00:07:29,671
I don't know,
like, 25 is like a new car.
140
00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,464
Yeah.
141
00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:33,245
You know, but he only offered 12.
142
00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:35,623
So, you know, just... That's it.
143
00:07:35,841 --> 00:07:40,251
Actually, he called
and he upped it to 13.
144
00:07:40,843 --> 00:07:42,799
Thirteen? Really?
145
00:07:45,512 --> 00:07:47,799
- Yeah, but, you know, we couldn't.
- No, definitely not.
146
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:49,719
No, because it means too much
to you, right?
147
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,672
With all the sentimental value
and whatnot.
148
00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:54,799
- And I know you love it.
- Love it.
149
00:07:57,724 --> 00:08:00,178
- Although...
- Yeah?
150
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,095
The ring is just a thing, right?
151
00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:04,969
Right.
152
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,011
I mean, suppose I lost the ring?
153
00:08:07,228 --> 00:08:09,799
- Would we stop loving each other?
- Of course not.
154
00:08:10,062 --> 00:08:15,266
Or suppose I lost the ring
and found $13,000?
155
00:08:15,939 --> 00:08:17,847
Would we stop
loving each other then?
156
00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:25,359
Honey, I would love you no matter
how much money you found.
157
00:08:25,396 --> 00:08:28,773
Thirteen thousand exactly.
158
00:08:29,402 --> 00:08:32,318
Just want you to know that this
is going right in the bank, you know,
159
00:08:32,528 --> 00:08:34,436
for our future kids' college.
160
00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:38,022
First, I'm gonna get
a new ring for her,
161
00:08:38,239 --> 00:08:41,108
and a hot tub, and a satellite dish,
but then...
162
00:08:42,074 --> 00:08:44,065
...everything left
is going right in the bank.
163
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,656
So have you selected a new ring?
164
00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:50,778
Yes, actually, I have.
It's right over here.
165
00:08:50,993 --> 00:08:53,281
- That one.
- Oh, lovely.
166
00:08:53,494 --> 00:08:55,735
- That one?
- Yeah, isn't it nice?
167
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:57,912
It's okay, I guess.
168
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,152
Kind of simple, you know.
169
00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:01,825
It doesn't look like an animal
or anything.
170
00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:03,539
I'll have to order it in your size.
171
00:09:03,748 --> 00:09:06,451
- We'll have it within a week.
- Oh, okay, fine.
172
00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:08,699
And I'll be needing that.
173
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:11,876
Oh, right.
174
00:09:13,627 --> 00:09:14,824
You okay?
175
00:09:15,044 --> 00:09:18,624
Yeah, I'm just looking at it
one last time.
176
00:09:21,254 --> 00:09:24,123
Pass interference, number 33.
177
00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:26,709
First down, eight remaining.
178
00:09:26,923 --> 00:09:28,251
Should we go?
179
00:09:28,465 --> 00:09:31,381
Why? Aren't you having a good time?
180
00:09:31,591 --> 00:09:34,926
Doug, the Jets are getting reamed
and it's 2 degrees out.
181
00:09:34,962 --> 00:09:36,917
Oh, let's just stay a little bit longer,
all right?
182
00:09:37,135 --> 00:09:39,506
Come on, please, please, please.
Come on, please.
183
00:09:39,761 --> 00:09:42,001
It's freezing.
Why on earth do you wanna stay?
184
00:09:44,096 --> 00:09:48,506
I'm trying to work up
the courage to...
185
00:09:49,639 --> 00:09:51,181
To give you this.
186
00:09:51,432 --> 00:09:52,759
Yeah.
187
00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:54,633
Carrie...
188
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:58,596
Will you, you know, marry me?
189
00:10:00,602 --> 00:10:02,676
Oh, my God.
190
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,135
Oh, my God.
191
00:10:05,353 --> 00:10:07,060
Of course I'll marry you.
192
00:10:07,313 --> 00:10:08,391
- You will?
- Yes.
193
00:10:08,605 --> 00:10:10,015
I just won some really big bets.
194
00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:11,854
I did.
195
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:21,816
Oh, my God.
196
00:10:22,026 --> 00:10:24,942
Look at it. It's a butterfly.
197
00:10:25,152 --> 00:10:26,859
Yeah, yeah, yup.
198
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:28,527
Okay, come on, come on,
slap it on me.
199
00:10:28,737 --> 00:10:30,527
- Slap it on me. Okay.
- Take your gloves off.
200
00:10:30,738 --> 00:10:32,065
- Here we go.
- Hurry up.
201
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,939
God, it's freezing.
Oh, jeez, I dropped it.
202
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:35,697
- Oh, my God, find it.
- Okay. Oh, gosh.
203
00:10:35,906 --> 00:10:37,186
Oh, today's our lucky day.
204
00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:38,900
Look at that. Some fries.
205
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,739
- Doug, come on.
- Some fries. All right.
206
00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:41,945
My fingers are freezing.
207
00:10:42,158 --> 00:10:43,356
- There it is. I got it.
- Okay.
208
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,567
- Come on, give me your hand.
- Okay.
209
00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:56,074
Do you like it?
210
00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:00,996
I love it.
211
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:11,783
Come on, come on. You wanna go?
212
00:11:12,711 --> 00:11:14,252
No.
213
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,828
Let's stay.
214
00:11:24,757 --> 00:11:26,298
Excuse me?
215
00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:29,175
Oh, right. Sorry.
216
00:11:32,135 --> 00:11:33,841
See you in a week.
217
00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:43,840
All right, dish is locked and loaded.
218
00:11:44,056 --> 00:11:46,379
I have, like, five nuts
and seven bolts left over,
219
00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:49,633
but damn it, she's up there.
220
00:11:49,891 --> 00:11:53,589
Nine hundred and forty-nine channels.
Oh, my.
221
00:11:53,851 --> 00:11:55,510
You know, I read
these satellite microwaves
222
00:11:55,726 --> 00:11:57,184
can make you impotent.
223
00:11:57,435 --> 00:12:00,767
Hey, 949 channels,
I say roll the dice.
224
00:12:01,979 --> 00:12:03,602
All right, gentlemen.
225
00:12:03,813 --> 00:12:08,187
If you're ready,
let's watch some television.
226
00:12:08,398 --> 00:12:09,939
All right, college football.
227
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:12,519
- Florida State at Purdue.
- That's what I'm talking about.
228
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,060
This is supposed
to be a good game.
229
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,810
Yeah, but we can't stop
on channel two.
230
00:12:16,025 --> 00:12:18,230
We just started here. Come on.
The Dirty Dozen.
231
00:12:18,485 --> 00:12:19,646
- Oh, great movie.
- All right.
232
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:22,396
- Trini Lopez.
- But we can do better, come on.
233
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,361
Saved by the Bell: The New Class.
234
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,022
Taping it.
235
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,310
Well, let's keep it moving.
236
00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:36,027
TNT, TNN, TBS,
ESPN, ESPN 2, three, four, five.
237
00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:38,612
HBO, HBO 2, three, four...
238
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,693
Learning Channel.
239
00:12:40,909 --> 00:12:43,197
Reading Channel.
240
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,485
Swimming Channel.
241
00:12:47,287 --> 00:12:49,610
Guy-Getting-a-Haircut Channel.
242
00:12:52,455 --> 00:12:55,739
Wings. Wings. Wings.
243
00:12:56,248 --> 00:12:58,535
Hitler. Wings.
244
00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:00,829
Leave Hitler.
245
00:13:01,042 --> 00:13:03,116
Can't. Gotta see all the choices.
246
00:13:03,334 --> 00:13:05,906
Cheetah killing a zebra.
247
00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:08,663
Oh, cheetah killing a cheetah.
248
00:13:10,337 --> 00:13:12,375
He's not killing him.
249
00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:17,911
Hey, honey, what you doing?
250
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,378
Enjoying my new satellite dish.
251
00:13:20,632 --> 00:13:22,540
Well, I got the hot tub
ready for action.
252
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,334
You wanna go break her in?
253
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:29,880
Yeah. Maybe it will help me get rid
of my blinding headache.
254
00:13:35,596 --> 00:13:37,717
Oh, it's so cold out.
The hot tub is gonna feel great.
255
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:40,882
- Come on, baby.
- Hey, come on in.
256
00:13:41,556 --> 00:13:43,927
The water's fine.
257
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:49,555
Arthur, why the hell
is it so hot in here?
258
00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:51,267
Yeah, Dad.
259
00:13:51,476 --> 00:13:53,764
It's 109.
260
00:13:53,977 --> 00:13:56,763
Hey, it's much healthier
when it's hot.
261
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,348
Cleans out your pores.
262
00:13:58,562 --> 00:14:01,514
You can't tell, but I'm sweating
like a pig right now.
263
00:14:02,022 --> 00:14:04,593
I'm sorry, Dad,
I'm gonna have to turn the heat down.
264
00:14:04,856 --> 00:14:06,184
Go ahead. I'm getting out anyway.
265
00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:17,402
I'm in my birthday suit,
so look away if you're shy.
266
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:19,192
It's called gravity, Douglas,
267
00:14:19,403 --> 00:14:21,809
and it's coming for you.
268
00:14:27,989 --> 00:14:30,230
How did we get such a bad rash
from the Jacuzzi?
269
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:33,691
I don't know, all right? I thought
I put the right amount of chlorine in.
270
00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:37,576
You put more chlorine in?
I had my dad do it already.
271
00:14:37,613 --> 00:14:38,951
You had your dad do it?
272
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,286
Carrie, you don't let a man
in his 70s touch chemicals.
273
00:14:43,495 --> 00:14:45,403
My God, I can't believe you.
274
00:14:45,662 --> 00:14:47,286
Doug, please,
don't start with me, okay?
275
00:14:47,496 --> 00:14:48,776
I'm not starting with you, okay?
276
00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:51,403
You have a little attitude.
That's the problem.
277
00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:53,413
You always gotta get
the last word in.
278
00:14:53,624 --> 00:14:55,698
No, I don't have
to get the last word in, okay?
279
00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:57,499
You see? Right there.
280
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,709
You're unbelievable.
281
00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:10,163
Look, do you wanna have sex?
Because it's Saturday.
282
00:15:11,713 --> 00:15:15,329
Not unless you're gonna scratch me
while we do it.
283
00:15:21,425 --> 00:15:24,211
- You wanna watch some TV?
- No! No.
284
00:15:24,426 --> 00:15:25,920
It's too hard.
285
00:15:31,387 --> 00:15:33,462
You think we did the wrong thing,
selling the ring?
286
00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:37,014
- What do you mean?
- Well, it just seems like, you know...
287
00:15:37,181 --> 00:15:39,137
Now we have all this bad karma.
288
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:42,424
All right, maybe we hit a little
small patch of bumpy road.
289
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,798
But it's not karma,
believe me, all right?
290
00:15:45,017 --> 00:15:47,423
Tomorrow, we'll just relax,
you and me,
291
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:50,677
and we'll play
with the new lawn darts.
292
00:15:51,561 --> 00:15:53,054
You know what it is?
293
00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:55,096
We were so quick to sell the ring,
294
00:15:55,312 --> 00:15:57,434
but we didn't stop to think
that what we were selling
295
00:15:57,647 --> 00:16:01,227
was this whole piece of funny,
great history of ours.
296
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,976
Look, see, I disagree. I disagree.
297
00:16:04,191 --> 00:16:07,439
You're only saying that because
you don't have your new ring yet.
298
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,523
- You think?
- Yeah, absolutely.
299
00:16:09,734 --> 00:16:11,772
When you get your new ring,
I'm gonna give it to you
300
00:16:11,985 --> 00:16:13,443
the same way
I gave you the old one.
301
00:16:13,652 --> 00:16:16,521
And it's gonna have so much sweet
and funny history,
302
00:16:16,737 --> 00:16:18,693
you're gonna need a backup ring
to hold it all.
303
00:16:18,946 --> 00:16:20,818
- Okay?
- Yeah.
304
00:16:27,449 --> 00:16:30,234
Who would have thought
it'd be this warm in November?
305
00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:33,153
Should we at least
take the blanket off?
306
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,826
Then it won't be like the last time.
307
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:38,532
I know, honey,
but at least we won't have heat stroke.
308
00:16:39,287 --> 00:16:41,693
- There, that's better, right?
- Yes.
309
00:16:41,912 --> 00:16:43,655
Okay.
310
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,826
- You look pretty.
- So do you.
311
00:16:49,832 --> 00:16:50,994
Oh, yeah!
312
00:16:51,207 --> 00:16:52,321
You idiot!
313
00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:54,533
Man.
314
00:16:57,918 --> 00:16:59,993
- You want mine?
- No, it's fine.
315
00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:02,001
Could we just do the ring thing now?
316
00:17:02,253 --> 00:17:05,786
You can't ask me that.
It's gonna ruin the spontaneity.
317
00:17:06,046 --> 00:17:07,788
Doug, I know
you're gonna give me a ring-
318
00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:10,583
You don't know that, all right?
Hey, maybe I met someone.
319
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,089
This is for you.
320
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:15,674
With all my heart.
321
00:17:16,717 --> 00:17:18,376
I hope Elliott got the right size.
322
00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:20,756
Okay, you know what?
I'm not happy with that response.
323
00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:23,754
What happened to the high-pitched
squeal you gave the first time?
324
00:17:24,011 --> 00:17:26,298
Okay, I'm sorry.
325
00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:30,258
Oh, my God.
326
00:17:32,055 --> 00:17:33,217
All right, it was much higher.
327
00:17:33,431 --> 00:17:37,426
It was more, "Oh, my God!"
328
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,013
Oh, my God!
329
00:17:41,225 --> 00:17:42,600
No, you gotta drag out the "God. "
330
00:17:42,809 --> 00:17:45,477
God!
331
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:52,469
God!
332
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:54,395
Like that?
333
00:17:54,605 --> 00:17:56,643
Yeah, it's fine. Whatever.
334
00:17:58,190 --> 00:17:59,813
Here- I dropped it.
335
00:18:00,024 --> 00:18:01,896
Honey, you dropped the ring.
336
00:18:02,108 --> 00:18:04,776
I know I dropped it,
I did it last time, all right?
337
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,101
Oh, where the hell is it?
338
00:18:07,318 --> 00:18:09,025
Why didn't you just put it on me?
339
00:18:09,277 --> 00:18:11,315
Because I'm trying
to make a funny moment, okay?
340
00:18:12,903 --> 00:18:16,151
Look, here it is, all right.
There you go.
341
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:19,397
- Okay, now it's covered in mustard.
- There you go.
342
00:18:19,614 --> 00:18:21,938
You can't get more of a funny
spontaneous moment than that.
343
00:18:22,157 --> 00:18:25,109
Mustard all over it. Hey, it's mustard.
344
00:18:26,742 --> 00:18:29,990
Come on, laugh it up, Car. It's fun.
345
00:18:34,995 --> 00:18:37,069
It's not working, is it?
346
00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:41,694
I understand, yup.
347
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,330
Okay, thank you.
348
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,282
Yup. Bye.
349
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,958
- Okay, the old ring's gone. He sold it.
- Oh, no.
350
00:18:49,166 --> 00:18:50,162
Sorry.
351
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:55,040
We're evil, disgusting people.
Do you know that?
352
00:18:55,294 --> 00:18:58,246
We took the one object
that most represents our love
353
00:18:58,461 --> 00:19:02,871
and we hocked it
for a hot tub and a satellite dish.
354
00:19:03,088 --> 00:19:05,044
And our kids' college.
355
00:19:05,297 --> 00:19:07,621
What? Oh, yeah, right. Whatever.
356
00:19:09,007 --> 00:19:10,797
You see?
I forgot about the kids again.
357
00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:12,501
More evil coming out, coming out.
358
00:19:12,717 --> 00:19:14,258
We're not evil, all right?
359
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,253
I think every married couple's entitled
to one huge, horrible mistake
360
00:19:17,468 --> 00:19:18,463
on the house.
361
00:19:18,677 --> 00:19:20,301
- You do?
- Yes.
362
00:19:20,511 --> 00:19:25,087
I was hoping to save mine for an affair,
but I'll use it here.
363
00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:26,460
Shut up.
364
00:19:27,305 --> 00:19:30,589
Come on.
Look, can't we please get past this?
365
00:19:30,848 --> 00:19:32,389
I want to.
366
00:19:32,599 --> 00:19:35,598
But every time I look at this ring,
or people ask me about it,
367
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:39,554
I'm gonna remember all of this
all over again.
368
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:42,883
We don't even have a good story
to tell people
369
00:19:43,102 --> 00:19:44,560
about how you gave it to me now.
370
00:19:44,811 --> 00:19:46,850
I know. What a crappy day.
371
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,931
You know, first we're flop-sweating
in our winter coats,
372
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,636
then some moron
spills your beer on you,
373
00:19:52,856 --> 00:19:54,894
and then I drop the ring
in some mustard...
374
00:19:56,441 --> 00:20:00,518
You know, sounds kind of funny
when you say it out loud.
375
00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:02,150
- It does?
- Yeah.
376
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,726
I mean, it does have the potential
to be a funny story.
377
00:20:05,986 --> 00:20:08,854
What if we just made it a point to laugh
when we told it to people?
378
00:20:10,862 --> 00:20:13,233
I like where you're going with that.
I like that, you know-
379
00:20:13,447 --> 00:20:16,232
And there's no reason the ring
couldn't have fallen
380
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:19,233
in something funnier than mustard.
381
00:20:19,491 --> 00:20:21,565
Right, like ketchup?
382
00:20:21,825 --> 00:20:24,065
- No, that's equivalent.
- Right.
383
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,024
Well, how about, like,
some fat lady's nachos?
384
00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:28,322
- Nice.
- Yeah.
385
00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:29,531
- Nice.
- Yeah.
386
00:20:29,744 --> 00:20:32,578
And then when you bent down
to pick it up,
387
00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:35,241
your pants split, remember, huh?
388
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:39,495
Was my face red?
389
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,283
- That's right.
- Yeah.
390
00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:47,368
Dad, you are not gonna believe what
happened at the Jets game today.
391
00:20:47,584 --> 00:20:50,252
Doug surprised me
with my new engagement ring,
392
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:54,502
and when he went to give it to me,
it fell into some fat lady's nachos.
393
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,627
Yeah, and then, you know,
I went down to get it and:
394
00:20:57,838 --> 00:20:59,912
- My pants ripped.
- Right.
395
00:21:04,715 --> 00:21:05,829
Oh, and then the other part.
396
00:21:06,049 --> 00:21:09,332
And then they showed it
on the stadium JumboTron,
397
00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:10,664
and the place went nuts.
398
00:21:10,884 --> 00:21:14,298
Oh, and they were all chanting,
"Big guy butt crack!"
399
00:21:15,136 --> 00:21:16,545
It was funny.
400
00:21:16,761 --> 00:21:19,546
It's a wild story, don't you think?
401
00:21:19,762 --> 00:21:20,924
I guess you had to be there.
402
00:21:30,474 --> 00:21:32,964
Well, we can't go by him.
403
00:21:37,352 --> 00:21:39,308
- Come on, give it a try.
- I don't wanna.
404
00:21:39,561 --> 00:21:42,229
I'm telling you,
you don't know what you're missing.
405
00:21:43,062 --> 00:21:44,520
All right.
406
00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:55,722
- There.
- Not bad, huh?
407
00:21:56,942 --> 00:21:58,352
You're right.
408
00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,476
It's very liberating.
409
00:22:00,735 --> 00:22:02,892
And so is this.
410
00:22:03,945 --> 00:22:05,687
Go fetch, sucker!
411
00:22:05,904 --> 00:22:07,362
Arthur.
412
00:22:07,571 --> 00:22:08,815
Arthur.
30355
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