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[Music]
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do
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[Music]
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[Music]
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so
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[Music]
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ugh
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[Music]
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hmm
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so
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yo dave what's up man
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much what's up with you not the much
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it's [ __ ] late already
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yeah so they get out 15 minutes earlier
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today
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you wanna go what do you think
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man i gotta do something i'm really
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losing it
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losing what my mind
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oh maybe you need a bong kid [ __ ] that
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it's the same [ __ ] i can't take it
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anymore
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every day man day after day is the same
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thing
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every day i wake up every day i play
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with the snooze button for an hour
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every day i call you up to wake you're
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sorry ass up and every day i try to do
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10 push-ups you can't do 10 lousy
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push-ups
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shut up every day we go to see the
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retards and every day we
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are yours and ari's house getting high
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and watching tv
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i just gotta do something
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like what dave
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okay check this out tierra del fuego
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what land of fire we take a road trip to
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the southernmost tip of south america
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well i was looking forward to biking
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around the orient
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all right maybe we can go bungee jumping
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over the grand canyon
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i'm serious man schemes
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every day we come up with another scheme
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we'll never pull off no man this one is
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doable
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you've got to get over that beat myth
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now everyone thinks it's better
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somewhere else
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we got guys like us in beijing barcelona
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the [ __ ]
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berkeley the difference is they all want
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to come here
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it's all in your head [ __ ] that zen [ __ ]
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you're telling me you're at peace in
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your couch potato throne channel surfing
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through numbing waves of blue radiation
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huh it's not where you are it's where
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you're at
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when i hold a remote i am there i
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commune because my addiction is complete
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i am fulfilled
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you don't get it do you
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take blue and you remember blue blue
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yeah his real name was mike but we all
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called him blue because he watched so
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much tv
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i don't remember he's the same loser who
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slashed miss watson's tires
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you mean that quiet geek who all used to
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wear that billy squire t-shirt
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whatever happened to that loser well he
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was just like us
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the worst hooked a do nothing but
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watch tv out and out junkie
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his dad was a tv repairman and all of
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the unclaimed tv sets we end up in their
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living room
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day after day week after week year after
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year
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blue watched no friends no homework
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no sports nothing they thought it was
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[ __ ] they came close to sending him
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away
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so what's the point then one late night
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it happens
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some network shows one of those 1950
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biblical
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you know the type with elizabeth taylor
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and joe brenner
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[Music]
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it's a film on the story of abraham you
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remember the story of abraham
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no remind me well abraham's father was
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an idol maker right yes so
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and when the lord called abraham you
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remember abraham wrecked his father's
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idol shot
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i'm with you go ahead so blue the son of
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a tv repairman
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who has been taking in a steady 11 hours
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of tv a day
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his entire [ __ ] life suddenly makes
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the connection
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he sees his father as the adam
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[Music]
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so on with the divine call he picks up a
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baseball bat
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and looks at it
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sparks glass tvs burning in flames
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except for one it's in flames
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but it's not burning
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the burning bush right but it's a tv
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and then it talks to him the tv the
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[ __ ] tv
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do not come near you get off the shoes
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from your feet
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where you are
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nah no really and then blue takes off
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his high tops
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and the voice says i have come down to
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deliver you into the wilderness
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[Music]
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the truth yeah the truth
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the meaning of life hey guys
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all right hurry what's up nothing much
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what's up with you
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nothing much what's up nothing much
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what's up with you nothing much
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i'm gonna check up on my grandma what
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are you guys up to
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what do you think oh [ __ ]
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are you guys still torturing those
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innocent people come on it's not that
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bad it's just something we do
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yeah you're just watching are you still
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sucking on the cathode nipple
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how about you who are you this week the
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maoists of malaysia are the
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stalinists of siberia junkie
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you know if you were unique then maybe
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i'd feel sorry for you
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but you're just a pathetic cliche did
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you know that the average gringo watches
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eight hours a day
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i mean think about that we sleep for six
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work for eight
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and watch for eight so what is that six
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and eight is what fourteen
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and eight is what twenty-two huh
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she can add that just leaves two hours
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left over to eat
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[ __ ] and [ __ ] man you're depressing me
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and we got to get a move on do you want
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to come
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i don't know what else do you have to do
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i'm going to go check up with my grandma
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come on just check it out and see what
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it's all about
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well if you guys come with me my
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grandma's first thought you said they
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got out early today
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come on we can raid her fridge i don't
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know
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she's got a pint of chunky monkey yeah
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all right
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hi grandma
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how are you today you're looking good
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grandma these are my friends dave and
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pete i've known them for years
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hi
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so what are you gonna do today huh
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grandma you feeling all right
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[Music]
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she gets like this sometimes i don't
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know if she knows we're here but at
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least she's got the tv
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you want to see something really weird
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what it only happens when bob barker's
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on
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what watch here is the first item up for
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bids and the price is right
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[ __ ] weird come on let's go i gotta
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get out of here
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grandma i gotta go now but i'll come by
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and see you later alright
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i love you
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all right let's go vamanos
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pete
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blue the junkie yeah marissa bradder
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used to date him
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she dumped him because she caught him
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jerking off to the home shopping network
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oh man well at least he wasn't jerking
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off the sesame street
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sick [ __ ] so finish the story all right
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yeah lay it on us
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who begins his quest so blue is
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convinced that his tv watching days are
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over
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a recovered junkie come on ari blue is
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convinced
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that the lord has given him a sign that
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that in the wilderness will discover the
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truth
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just in his best sunday clothes he
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exposes himself to elect
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city of the snake
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[Music]
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[Music]
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so
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lost he drowns himself into three great
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temptations
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[Music]
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so first is consumed by food
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hamburgers cheeseburgers bacon avocado
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burgers
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chunkies reese's pieces almond joys and
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hershey's
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captain crunch cocoa puffs lucky charms
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and weedles
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taco bell mickey d's burger king and
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wendy's
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but he's still where he started lost
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so blue continues his quest for the
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truth
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and next is consumed by drugs
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cocaine scentsy ecstasy
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morphine heroin amphetamines
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crank crack lsd cigarettes
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chocolate sugar glue coffee
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but he's still where he started lost
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so finally he searches for the truth
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that sex
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male hookers female hookers 14 year old
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boy hookers
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hand jobs blow jobs long
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tongue do rim jobs but he's still where
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he started
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lost food
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sex drugs
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they were all decoys blue couldn't
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understand
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how he had missed the truth
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although he didn't have to go to tierra
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del fuego
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he had searched all of la and found
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nothing
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then he told himself that he would stop
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where he was
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and not move until he found the truth
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and he believed it
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and that is how he found it
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[Music]
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so what's the point he did not find it
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until he made up his mind to find it
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and that is what he did
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he sat down
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and when his butt hit the ground at that
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moment
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he found it he believed
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it he became it he was
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it
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so it must be a tv set
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no [ __ ] it is nowhere it is
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everywhere
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you can find it wherever you are smoking
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dope
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fishing trout getting laid you just have
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to sit down and realize that it
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is it all held to the grand buddha
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so your point is you can commune while
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watching tv
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no not just tv
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you can commune while doing anything
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anytime anywhere
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you just made it
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i mean we watch because we have an
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appetite for distraction not because
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we're communing
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last one to just get now
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i mean look at us now instead of
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standing around here picking our asses
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exploiting these guys we could do
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something there's nothing to do
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there's no difference between sitting at
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home and watching tv
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or standing here and watching the
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retards you see there's nothing going on
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there and there's nothing going on here
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you know why don't you try volunteering
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some of your free time and helping these
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guys hey you know what
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they don't need any help and they are
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doing something
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we're doing something too there's no
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difference just like us
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there is a difference these guys are
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doing something they're living
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they're going what are you talking about
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they're just going on the bus
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that's right that's exactly right
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they're going on the bus
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step by step moment by moment they're
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living
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they're going
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what the [ __ ] are you talking about
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these guys they understand
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there is no past no future it's just now
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they're living they're going
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i gotta go
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i gotta go where i gotta go with them
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come on we gotta go catch the bus i'm
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all set right here
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let's go all right i gotta go hey
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hey dave dave where are you going
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dave dave leave him alone there's going
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home
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dave what the [ __ ] is he doing
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pete man what the [ __ ] is he doing
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he's on a road trip with a busload of
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retards
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you guys are the [ __ ] retards i'm
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getting the [ __ ] out of here
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[Music]
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blue
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p
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pete what are you gonna do
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i don't know what are you gonna do
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i don't know i'm gonna go watch them too
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yeah what song
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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where you've been do you know you know
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the answer
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do you really care
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[Music]
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we are
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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oh
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[Music]
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wow
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[Music]
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is
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[Music]
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do you really care what's the answer
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what's the answer
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[Music]
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you
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