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1
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[upbeat music]
2
00:00:03,216 --> 00:00:04,585
I can't believe in this climate
3
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we're still
calling you guys ladybugs.
4
00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:10,496
- "Guys"? Really?
- Educate me!
5
00:00:10,497 --> 00:00:12,401
Not that it's your responsibility.
6
00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:14,673
[sniffing]
Where is it? Where is it?
7
00:00:14,706 --> 00:00:17,255
- [grunts]
- Honey, I can't find
8
00:00:17,256 --> 00:00:20,650
- my Squeaky Pizza toy anywhere.
- Jill threw Squeaky Pizza
9
00:00:20,651 --> 00:00:22,822
into the construction dumpster
next door
10
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:26,830
because Squeaky Pizza sounds
like a dying rat's last fart.
11
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That's why I loved him.
12
00:00:28,399 --> 00:00:30,938
I'm coming for you,
Squeaky Pizza!
13
00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:33,711
[heroic music]
14
00:00:33,777 --> 00:00:35,112
[grunts]
15
00:00:35,113 --> 00:00:38,052
[sniffing]
16
00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:43,664
? ?
17
00:00:43,731 --> 00:00:45,901
There!
18
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:48,306
[toy squeaks]
Aw!
19
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,442
Let's celebrate this reunion
20
00:00:50,443 --> 00:00:53,784
with a traditional feast
of whatever the hell this is.
21
00:00:53,851 --> 00:00:54,985
[chomping]
22
00:00:54,986 --> 00:00:57,224
[retching]
23
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,994
Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
24
00:00:59,061 --> 00:01:01,365
What am I gonna do with you?
25
00:01:02,267 --> 00:01:05,172
Um, is anyone gonna eat that, or...
26
00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:08,179
[upbeat rock music]
27
00:01:08,246 --> 00:01:09,696
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
28
00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:11,954
? Ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff ?
29
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,322
? ?
30
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,728
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
31
00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:18,166
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
32
00:01:18,232 --> 00:01:19,836
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
33
00:01:19,869 --> 00:01:21,319
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
34
00:01:23,142 --> 00:01:25,580
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
35
00:01:25,581 --> 00:01:28,815
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow ?
36
00:01:28,992 --> 00:01:31,873
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
37
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:35,515
[music crescendos]
38
00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:38,383
? ?
39
00:01:40,645 --> 00:01:43,817
A shock collar?
Is that really necessary?
40
00:01:43,884 --> 00:01:47,725
Normally I'd never advocate
using pain to train an animal,
41
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:50,931
but he is literally
eating himself to death.
42
00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:53,068
Oh, he would love that.
43
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,504
? ?
44
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:58,393
- Blue Shirt! [barking]
- Honey...
45
00:01:58,446 --> 00:02:00,483
I don't know why,
but I hate you so much.
46
00:02:00,517 --> 00:02:03,089
I want to tear your throat out
and taste your blood!
47
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,427
Die!
[barking]
48
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:08,600
Whoo, what a rush!
I love our dynamic.
49
00:02:09,569 --> 00:02:13,342
This is for your own good, Chief-y.
50
00:02:13,409 --> 00:02:16,382
Aw, Jill, you shouldn't have...
51
00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:18,219
because you know
I'm not a jewelry guy.
52
00:02:18,252 --> 00:02:19,621
Why don't I get a new collar?
53
00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:22,562
I just saved her life
from that box-wielding maniac.
54
00:02:22,628 --> 00:02:25,033
Meanwhile, she enables
your bad behavior?
55
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,237
Ooh, speaking of...
56
00:02:27,304 --> 00:02:30,343
[electricity sizzles]
Oh! What the zap?
57
00:02:30,377 --> 00:02:34,351
This new gecko at school knows
I'm sensitive about my size,
58
00:02:34,385 --> 00:02:37,558
but he just keeps poking me!
59
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:39,261
- How's it going, Pocket-sized?
- Ugh.
60
00:02:39,294 --> 00:02:40,765
- There's my Shrinky-dink.
- Ugh.
61
00:02:40,798 --> 00:02:43,837
All kidding aside,
you're too small to love.
62
00:02:43,904 --> 00:02:44,905
Aah!
63
00:02:44,906 --> 00:02:46,626
I'm surprised
you haven't just killed him.
64
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:50,583
I would, but I'm on strike
three with Sheriff Cowboy.
65
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,590
He's the lizard the
school animals elected sheriff.
66
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,460
It's times like this
I really regret
67
00:02:55,493 --> 00:02:57,330
being an antisocial loner.
68
00:02:57,397 --> 00:02:59,602
- I know how you feel, Nibbles.
- You do?
69
00:02:59,669 --> 00:03:01,539
It's like with me and Kit Kat.
70
00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:03,811
Segue accomplished.
Now my thing.
71
00:03:03,844 --> 00:03:07,585
My human, Stelios,
gave Kit Kat a TikTok account.
72
00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:09,556
[dance music]
73
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,159
It takes up all of Stelios' time...
74
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,465
making videos, uploading videos,
75
00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:17,070
reuploading videos
after videos are removed
76
00:03:17,137 --> 00:03:19,875
for copyright infringement.
I get no attention.
77
00:03:19,876 --> 00:03:22,582
Losing the spotlight
sounds painful, Tabs,
78
00:03:22,648 --> 00:03:26,322
but I wouldn't know because
I'm back in the acting game.
79
00:03:26,355 --> 00:03:29,662
You are? [gasps]
Are we on TV right now?
80
00:03:29,696 --> 00:03:33,436
I landed a role
in a major motion picture.
81
00:03:33,469 --> 00:03:35,373
Well, actually,
it was David Spade's audition.
82
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,809
He has finally reached the age
83
00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:39,448
when comedians pivot
to being grizzled action stars.
84
00:03:39,481 --> 00:03:41,887
When I opened this bakery,
85
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,355
I said I was done
86
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:46,428
being the world's
greatest assassin/lover.
87
00:03:46,462 --> 00:03:49,601
- But then you kidnapped my family!
- Yes!
88
00:03:49,602 --> 00:03:54,278
This is the fresh take we need.
A pig getting revenge.
89
00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:56,081
I mean, it's totally wrong
for the story,
90
00:03:56,115 --> 00:03:58,152
but it will be huge overseas.
91
00:03:58,186 --> 00:04:00,422
Aw, poor David.
I mean, women are used
92
00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:04,130
to having their jobs stolen by pigs,
but not men.
93
00:04:04,131 --> 00:04:08,139
- Hold for applause...
- I thought he'd be upset,
94
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,642
but like Dave always says,
95
00:04:09,676 --> 00:04:12,949
when life gives you lemons,
you make lemon-Spade.
96
00:04:12,982 --> 00:04:14,451
Sandoo, it's Spade.
97
00:04:14,518 --> 00:04:17,090
Hey, can't join you in Bali
for "Grown-Ups Three."
98
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,492
I'm dedicating my time
99
00:04:18,493 --> 00:04:20,497
to managing
my piggy's acting career.
100
00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:23,502
And the honest truth?
I never felt more alive!
101
00:04:23,503 --> 00:04:25,507
We'll all make sure
to see your movie
102
00:04:25,574 --> 00:04:27,277
as soon as we learn
how to do that.
103
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,111
I'll check every puddle I pass
in case it's playing there.
104
00:04:31,987 --> 00:04:34,324
Hey, Tabitha, thanks for
having my back in there.
105
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:38,099
- You were in there?
- You know, I can help you with Kit Kat.
106
00:04:38,132 --> 00:04:41,372
You? Now that is something
I would like to see.
107
00:04:41,438 --> 00:04:42,506
Oh, you would?
108
00:04:42,507 --> 00:04:44,211
[sinister music]
109
00:04:44,244 --> 00:04:46,683
Uh, Honey?
110
00:04:46,716 --> 00:04:50,123
Something strange is going on
with my body.
111
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,424
Look.
112
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,594
[electricity sizzles]
[groans]
113
00:04:52,595 --> 00:04:53,896
Am I turning into lightning?
114
00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:55,901
Is this
what dance fever feels like?
115
00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:58,774
Answering those questions
will take rigorous testing.
116
00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:00,778
You were right
to come to a scientist.
117
00:05:00,811 --> 00:05:03,717
- You're not a scientist.
- Psychology is a science.
118
00:05:03,784 --> 00:05:06,890
- A soft science.
- You want my help or not?
119
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,963
- [groans]
- Hmm.
120
00:05:10,029 --> 00:05:13,069
Poop, poop!
Poop in shoe!
121
00:05:13,135 --> 00:05:14,403
[groans]
122
00:05:14,404 --> 00:05:15,405
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
123
00:05:15,406 --> 00:05:19,649
[groaning]
124
00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:21,853
So the zappies happen when
125
00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:24,324
- you're not being a good dog.
- Uh-huh.
126
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,462
And they started
when Jill said,
127
00:05:26,528 --> 00:05:28,299
"Oh, my God.
What do I do with you?"
128
00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:29,635
What's an "ohmygod"?
129
00:05:29,636 --> 00:05:32,675
Well, Jill says God is
a female creator spirit
130
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,513
that also celebrates Christmas,
but most people think
131
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:37,785
God's a judgy old man
who created everyone
132
00:05:37,818 --> 00:05:40,023
just so He can tell them
what's right and wrong.
133
00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:43,129
- Oh, like Steve Harvey.
- Sure, but scientifically,
134
00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:46,034
- there's no evidence that He exists.
- No, he does.
135
00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:49,408
- I saw him on "Family Feud" yesterday.
- No, I mean evidence
136
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,680
of some supreme being
that watches over us.
137
00:05:51,746 --> 00:05:53,817
What about the big sky-dog
138
00:05:53,884 --> 00:05:56,455
who eats the moon
piece by piece every month
139
00:05:56,488 --> 00:05:59,609
then throws it up again?
He must be God.
140
00:05:59,629 --> 00:06:01,633
And he's sending me the zappies.
141
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:04,255
- No, no, that's not what I mean.
- Now all my half-thoughts
142
00:06:04,256 --> 00:06:06,842
and misunderstandings
are making sense.
143
00:06:06,843 --> 00:06:09,248
There's an all-powerful
moon-eating dog god
144
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,884
that's speaking directly to me
145
00:06:10,885 --> 00:06:13,723
about what's right and wrong
through the zappies.
146
00:06:13,724 --> 00:06:16,462
[chuckles]
I mean, can I get a woof woof?
147
00:06:16,495 --> 00:06:18,266
[yawns]
148
00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:21,940
Ride that horse,
President Putin.
149
00:06:21,973 --> 00:06:23,308
[screeches]
150
00:06:23,309 --> 00:06:26,447
- Kit Kat's gone!
- What?
151
00:06:26,448 --> 00:06:29,121
I am here for you,
Daddy Stelios.
152
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:30,222
[gasps]
153
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,862
[dramatic music]
154
00:06:32,928 --> 00:06:34,263
Nibbles.
155
00:06:34,264 --> 00:06:37,404
This is a disaster.
I will not rest until...
156
00:06:37,470 --> 00:06:40,509
Oh, yeah. Behind the ears.
Oh. [purrs]
157
00:06:40,510 --> 00:06:42,848
[upbeat music]
158
00:06:42,915 --> 00:06:45,888
- [yawns] Chief? You're up early.
- I couldn't sleep.
159
00:06:45,921 --> 00:06:49,194
All these dog years, I thought
I was put on this planet
160
00:06:49,227 --> 00:06:50,630
to eat one of everything,
161
00:06:50,631 --> 00:06:53,202
but now I know I'm meant
for something bigger.
162
00:06:53,235 --> 00:06:56,843
- To eat two of everything?
- No! To be God's hype man.
163
00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:58,780
I have to share this
with the world.
164
00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,918
Chief, maybe
you should think about this.
165
00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:05,126
Honey, if God had wanted a thinker,
He wouldn't have chosen me.
166
00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:11,606
[bird chirping]
Creatures great and small,
167
00:07:11,673 --> 00:07:16,315
God chose a messenger,
and you're looking at him!
168
00:07:16,382 --> 00:07:20,089
- Then show us a sign.
- Okay, watch God smite me
169
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:23,429
for following
my God-given natural instincts.
170
00:07:23,496 --> 00:07:25,668
Behold.
171
00:07:25,768 --> 00:07:26,869
[groans]
172
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:28,840
- BOTH: Ooh.
- It's a miracle.
173
00:07:28,874 --> 00:07:32,047
I want to thank everyone
for resisting Chief's delusion
174
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,786
that God is talking to him
through zappies.
175
00:07:34,819 --> 00:07:38,660
That's what's happening?
Oh, this I have to see.
176
00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:40,964
Wait a minute,
Chief talks to the big dog
177
00:07:41,031 --> 00:07:42,635
who noshes on the moon?
178
00:07:42,702 --> 00:07:45,773
- I have got major FOMO.
- Don't worry, Diablo.
179
00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:49,381
While I admire his brutality,
there is no God.
180
00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:51,185
Okay, who'd like to start?
181
00:07:51,251 --> 00:07:54,357
- Chico? Chico?
- [distantly] Hallelujah!
182
00:07:54,358 --> 00:07:58,332
I don't believe in God,
but I do believe in opportunity.
183
00:07:58,399 --> 00:08:01,305
- Well, this is fun. Just us gals.
- What?
184
00:08:01,372 --> 00:08:07,350
- Tabitha, spill the tea, girl.
- Yeah, Tabs. "Spill the tea, girl."
185
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:09,755
- I have no tea.
- I know I'm late.
186
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:13,095
Spade booked me on James
Corden's cockatoo's podcast.
187
00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:15,801
Anyway, my movie
starts shooting in two days,
188
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:18,205
so I've gotta get down
to the true craft
189
00:08:18,239 --> 00:08:20,877
of film acting...
collecting my entourage!
190
00:08:20,878 --> 00:08:22,815
- Diabs, you're in!
- Really?
191
00:08:22,848 --> 00:08:24,451
[chuckles] Of course.
192
00:08:24,484 --> 00:08:25,934
Every entourage
needs a dorky guy
193
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,625
who gives advice
the star won't take.
194
00:08:27,691 --> 00:08:28,959
You too, The Gray One.
195
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,831
I need a weird dude
who makes me look hotter.
196
00:08:30,864 --> 00:08:32,902
Now, let's go get Shel,
because for some reason,
197
00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:35,054
every entourage needs a turtle.
198
00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:38,757
Diablo, you know you're drawn
to unhealthy power dynamics.
199
00:08:38,823 --> 00:08:40,383
Oh, yeah,
but that's not what this is.
200
00:08:40,407 --> 00:08:42,497
- The door won't open itself!
- On it!
201
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,101
- Oh, I can open doors.
- Okay, group doesn't work
202
00:08:45,102 --> 00:08:48,642
when everyone has nothing
to say or can't talk.
203
00:08:48,743 --> 00:08:51,916
No offense, Tchotch...
Tchotchke's out there?
204
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,387
Now, I know
what you're thinking.
205
00:08:54,454 --> 00:08:56,091
"If Chief is a dog of God,
206
00:08:56,124 --> 00:08:58,730
"then surely he's never done wrong.
207
00:08:58,763 --> 00:09:01,535
"I mean, old Chief
never ripped the toupee
208
00:09:01,602 --> 00:09:02,871
"off an old man's head
209
00:09:02,872 --> 00:09:05,543
because he thought
it was a furry pork chop."
210
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:09,952
Well, I did that and more.
I had a hole in my soul
211
00:09:10,019 --> 00:09:12,958
that all the garbage
in the world couldn't fill
212
00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:17,066
until God reached down
and filled me full of zappies.
213
00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:20,406
This is so much more soulful
than synagogue.
214
00:09:20,473 --> 00:09:22,010
Who here believes?
215
00:09:22,076 --> 00:09:24,614
- I believe!
- Oh, hallelujah!
216
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,184
- Huzzah! Whoo-hoo!
- That's amazing.
217
00:09:26,251 --> 00:09:27,701
- Wow! Yeah!
- Ooh!
218
00:09:27,788 --> 00:09:28,789
[grunts]
219
00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:30,894
Chief, this is going too far.
220
00:09:30,928 --> 00:09:33,599
There has to be
a more rational explanation
221
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,503
for what's happening to you
than God.
222
00:09:35,536 --> 00:09:38,977
Oh, my lost soul, you think
you should have been chosen.
223
00:09:39,044 --> 00:09:42,016
Praise Chief!
Burn the heretic!
224
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:44,254
Please, Elsa,
you're smarter than this.
225
00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:47,427
True, but I had
a real come-to-Chief moment
226
00:09:47,493 --> 00:09:50,566
when I saw more animals
listening to him than you.
227
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,840
? ?
228
00:09:53,907 --> 00:09:56,545
[grunts]
What did you do to Kit Kat,
229
00:09:56,578 --> 00:10:00,286
- you horrible little rat ball?
- She bothered you, so I got rid of her.
230
00:10:00,319 --> 00:10:02,825
And now you're gonna get rid
of the gecko who bothered me.
231
00:10:02,925 --> 00:10:05,713
- Why would I do that?
- Because best friends murder
232
00:10:05,714 --> 00:10:09,104
for each other, right? I mean,
if we weren't best friends,
233
00:10:09,137 --> 00:10:10,941
I'd have no choice
but to frame you
234
00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:13,713
by leaving Kit Kat's bloody paw
wrapped in your blankie.
235
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,249
[gasps]
Not blankie!
236
00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:18,155
And the tenth
and final command is
237
00:10:18,222 --> 00:10:21,628
thou shalt leave it!
Leave it...
238
00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:23,131
What does God look like?
239
00:10:23,132 --> 00:10:25,937
Well, I mean, obviously,
God is a huge dog.
240
00:10:25,971 --> 00:10:29,244
- Oh, so close. I thought cat.
- And His house, Heaven,
241
00:10:29,277 --> 00:10:32,050
overfloweth with a river
of food and toys
242
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,887
that come right to you,
243
00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:36,525
and enormous hands
that give belly rubs
244
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:39,563
and never get tired.
245
00:10:39,564 --> 00:10:43,072
- I have questions... [grunts]
- Wow, heaven sounds great.
246
00:10:43,138 --> 00:10:45,142
And if anyone wants
to get in there,
247
00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:48,048
they'll need to make
a sizeable donation...
248
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:51,588
toys, kibble, anxiety meds.
249
00:10:51,656 --> 00:10:54,594
[rock music]
250
00:10:54,627 --> 00:10:59,471
? ?
251
00:10:59,537 --> 00:11:01,008
[moans]
252
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:02,911
Everyone's staring at us.
253
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:05,884
They know star power
when they see it.
254
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:07,821
Thanks, Terry.
Keep the water bowls coming.
255
00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,534
I still say we should have gone
256
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:12,406
to that pond
with the cold-blooded hotties.
257
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,611
You gotta talk to Shel
about talking back.
258
00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:17,283
Uh, sure, but maybe
you should rehearse a little.
259
00:11:17,316 --> 00:11:20,422
What? No!
Never suggest I do work again.
260
00:11:20,489 --> 00:11:22,760
Now, earn your spot, D.
Get me some acorns.
261
00:11:22,828 --> 00:11:26,168
- No top part. You know how I do.
- One for me as well.
262
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:29,240
["Pop! Goes the Weasel" playing]
263
00:11:29,307 --> 00:11:33,917
You let Nibbles murder me, Tabitha.
264
00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:38,759
- I didn't know.
- And now you're gonna murder for her!
265
00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:39,828
[gasps]
266
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,279
[panting]
267
00:11:41,298 --> 00:11:44,571
It's only a matter of time
before she murders you.
268
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,776
[screams]
269
00:11:46,843 --> 00:11:49,514
Kit Kat, give me a break.
270
00:11:49,614 --> 00:11:51,284
? ?
271
00:11:51,351 --> 00:11:53,522
Could Chief really be right
about this?
272
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:56,728
He was right
about Jill's ovarian cyst.
273
00:11:56,796 --> 00:11:59,033
Are you there, God?
It's me, Honey.
274
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,906
If you needed a messenger,
why choose Chief?
275
00:12:01,973 --> 00:12:03,675
I'm smarter, better behaved.
276
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:06,782
I always resist the temptation
to kill Blue Shirt.
277
00:12:06,816 --> 00:12:09,453
- Stupid bitch.
- Thirsty's not a good look on you.
278
00:12:09,454 --> 00:12:11,324
This is a private conversation
279
00:12:11,358 --> 00:12:15,466
between me and someone
I think is imaginary.
280
00:12:15,499 --> 00:12:18,505
[gasps]
Blue Shirt!
281
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,022
Chief!
282
00:12:20,075 --> 00:12:23,147
Your collar didn't come from God.
It came from Blue Shirt.
283
00:12:23,148 --> 00:12:25,887
She's the one
who gave this box to Jill.
284
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,891
Obviously you're just a pawn
285
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:30,496
in her sick plot
to drive me mad.
286
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:33,435
Oh, whoa, it's been her
since the very beginning.
287
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,807
It's the only explanation
that makes sense.
288
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,376
It's Squeaky Pizzagate.
289
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:42,687
- Blue Shirt is the delivery devil!
- Really? Hmm...
290
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,457
let me pray on it.
291
00:12:45,726 --> 00:12:46,795
[groans]
292
00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:48,265
God says no.
293
00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:54,244
Clearly Blue Shirt is a delivery
angel driveth-ing from heaven.
294
00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:58,886
- And rationalized.
- [chuckles] Am I the only one who hasn't
295
00:12:58,887 --> 00:13:01,858
lost touch with reality?
Do the research!
296
00:13:01,859 --> 00:13:06,034
- Chief, I need your help.
- What in God's name is happening?
297
00:13:06,101 --> 00:13:10,977
Exactly. Join me in the
box of really bad secrets.
298
00:13:11,011 --> 00:13:15,419
Welcome, Tabitha.
This is a sacred, private space.
299
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:17,189
Oh, just pretend I'm not here.
300
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:20,729
I accidentally entered a...
how you say...
301
00:13:20,763 --> 00:13:24,070
- murder pact with Nibbles.
- Whoa, you're a real sicko.
302
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,438
Nibbles killed Kit Kat.
303
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:27,543
Now she wants me
to kill this gecko for her.
304
00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:30,449
And if I don't, she will
ruin my luxurious life.
305
00:13:30,516 --> 00:13:33,770
Normally, I would never come to
you because you are idiot dog,
306
00:13:33,823 --> 00:13:36,896
but everyone is saying you are
messenger of supreme being...
307
00:13:36,996 --> 00:13:38,532
Tabitha, I once had a friend
308
00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:41,271
who hurt me
if I didn't do what He said.
309
00:13:41,304 --> 00:13:45,880
So I did what He said, and
then I went from zero to hero.
310
00:13:45,947 --> 00:13:49,454
So, yeah, you just need to kill
that gecko, like, yesterday.
311
00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:51,358
Time's up.
Father Chief's on a schedule.
312
00:13:51,424 --> 00:13:53,528
Souls ain't gonna
save themselves.
313
00:13:53,595 --> 00:13:56,067
So now your believers
prove their faith in you
314
00:13:56,134 --> 00:14:00,576
- by taking a bath.
- Do you commit yourself to Dog God
315
00:14:00,609 --> 00:14:04,050
and the teachings
of His Prophet, me?
316
00:14:04,117 --> 00:14:08,292
Look, I'm at rock bottom.
I need to get right.
317
00:14:09,828 --> 00:14:11,464
[electricity sizzles]
318
00:14:14,203 --> 00:14:17,376
I felt it, Mildred!
I felt the zappies!
319
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:21,217
Hope you're watching, G-Dog,
because I am crushing it.
320
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:25,326
Hello, cans.
You're smelling lovely.
321
00:14:25,392 --> 00:14:26,962
No, no.
322
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:30,436
Aw.
Oh, God, why doth thou test me
323
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,241
with furry English muffins
and black yogurt?
324
00:14:33,308 --> 00:14:36,314
This is real jerk move, Jerk Face!
325
00:14:36,348 --> 00:14:39,354
[sobs]
That's it. I'm going for it.
326
00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:41,892
[trash bin clatters]
Oh, mmm-mmm.
327
00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:44,297
This is worth the zappies.
328
00:14:44,364 --> 00:14:47,803
Wait, where are the zappies?
God?
329
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:51,411
He abandoned me!
I've been Holy Ghosted!
330
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:59,160
Well, well, what is the deep
delivery state up to now?
331
00:14:59,227 --> 00:15:00,495
I won't let you do to me
332
00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:03,368
what you did to Princess Diana,
you Blue Devil!
333
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:06,307
Honey, the zappies are gone
and God's abandoned me.
334
00:15:06,341 --> 00:15:08,679
And without His guidance,
I'm back to being a dumb dog
335
00:15:08,745 --> 00:15:11,116
who's responsible
for my own actions,
336
00:15:11,117 --> 00:15:13,088
and that is not going
to end well!
337
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,356
[doorbell rings]
[barking]
338
00:15:14,357 --> 00:15:18,031
[gasps] The delivery angel.
I can ride her van back to heaven
339
00:15:18,098 --> 00:15:20,469
and apologize to God in person.
340
00:15:20,536 --> 00:15:22,707
Hell with it,
I'll just de-throat-ify her.
341
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:23,541
[barking]
342
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,412
She's friendly.
She's friendly.
343
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,483
[chuckles weakly]
[growling]
344
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:30,723
- What are you doing, Sister Elsa?
- Where you go, I follow.
345
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:33,495
And if you should die,
I promise to take on the burden
346
00:15:33,528 --> 00:15:37,069
of leading your church and
renaming it after me, St. Elsa.
347
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:38,404
[barking]
348
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:41,144
And that's for putting fluoride
in the dog food!
349
00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:42,579
Honey, oh, my God.
350
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:45,386
Do I need to put a shock collar
on you too?
351
00:15:45,452 --> 00:15:47,423
And they started when Jill said,
352
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:50,396
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What do I do with you?"
353
00:15:50,429 --> 00:15:53,034
This is for your own good, Chief-y.
354
00:15:53,068 --> 00:15:55,907
[electricity sizzling]
355
00:15:58,512 --> 00:16:00,215
Jill makes the zappies.
356
00:16:00,282 --> 00:16:02,720
[slow-clapping]
357
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,659
Took you long enough,
Cumberbitch.
358
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,775
[ominous music]
359
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:15,814
? ?
360
00:16:15,847 --> 00:16:19,387
May Chief forgive me
for what I am about to do.
361
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,391
[claws snick]
[growls]
362
00:16:21,424 --> 00:16:24,997
- No, stop! It's me!
- Nibbles?
363
00:16:24,998 --> 00:16:26,969
Hi, friend.
364
00:16:28,472 --> 00:16:31,311
It's the role I was born to play,
365
00:16:31,344 --> 00:16:34,350
a badass Liam Neeson-type.
366
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:38,191
Liam Neeson wishes his ass
was as bad as yours, Max.
367
00:16:38,225 --> 00:16:39,828
Your ass is the worst!
368
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:42,768
Max, we were supposed
to be on set an hour ago.
369
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,537
I got the day wrong,
but if anyone asks,
370
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,141
it was my assistant's fault.
371
00:16:46,174 --> 00:16:47,624
Now move it!
Get that ham in gear!
372
00:16:47,676 --> 00:16:51,284
- Come on, Larrabee. Let's go!
- Wait, what? I'm not Larrabee!
373
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:54,825
Huh, I guess I live here now.
374
00:16:55,692 --> 00:16:57,852
So what are you gonna
do first when we get to heaven?
375
00:16:57,864 --> 00:17:00,369
Steak bath?
Drag your butt on a cloud?
376
00:17:00,402 --> 00:17:04,143
To be honest, Elsa, I'm not so
sure there really is a heaven.
377
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,645
Maybe I made the whole thing up
378
00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:08,285
to explain everything
I didn't understand.
379
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,888
I recommend
you don't repeat that
380
00:17:09,922 --> 00:17:12,258
if we want to keep
our tax-exempt status.
381
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:13,562
I don't know where we're going,
382
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:17,068
- but it's definitely not...
- Heaven!
383
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:20,075
[choral music]
384
00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:22,513
? ?
385
00:17:22,546 --> 00:17:24,250
It's just like
you said it would be,
386
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:26,287
food and toys
coming right to us.
387
00:17:26,387 --> 00:17:28,658
- And look!
- The belly-rubbing hands.
388
00:17:28,692 --> 00:17:32,433
Heaven is real.
God was talking to me.
389
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,370
[scanner beeps]
Acceptable.
390
00:17:34,403 --> 00:17:36,541
Acceptable? Yes!
391
00:17:36,574 --> 00:17:38,544
[machinery whirring]
Huh?
392
00:17:38,545 --> 00:17:40,783
[scanner beeps]
[buzzer blares]
393
00:17:40,817 --> 00:17:43,956
Code not found.
Disposing trash.
394
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,057
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
395
00:17:45,058 --> 00:17:47,530
I mean, sure I had
a brief dark night of the soul,
396
00:17:47,596 --> 00:17:49,868
but, no,
I'm back on Team God.
397
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,638
Uh-uh-uh, you doubted.
398
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:54,510
Now I'm the chosen one.
Suck it, heathen.
399
00:17:54,577 --> 00:17:57,149
But Heaven Hand, I believe again!
400
00:17:57,183 --> 00:17:59,086
I'm even ready to be zappied.
401
00:17:59,153 --> 00:18:01,357
[grunting]
Aah!
402
00:18:01,391 --> 00:18:03,728
[splat]
[horn blows]
403
00:18:03,796 --> 00:18:07,001
You were gonna
kill the gecko for me?
404
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,572
You really are my friend.
405
00:18:08,605 --> 00:18:10,777
Now I'm glad
I didn't actually kill Kit Kat.
406
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:13,481
What?
What did you do with Kit Kat?
407
00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:15,452
I just lured her
into the steam oven
408
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,865
your humans barely ever
use, knowing she wouldn't
409
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:20,245
be found until tonight
when Stelios bakes his
410
00:18:20,246 --> 00:18:22,933
- baklava for book club.
- Kit Kat!
411
00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:25,472
See, I knew it wasn't a waste
to buy the steam oven.
412
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,610
But how did you know
about the steam oven
413
00:18:27,676 --> 00:18:29,982
and the book club
and the baklava?
414
00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:33,388
Because I listen
to every word you say in group.
415
00:18:33,421 --> 00:18:37,529
Maybe there's more to you than
crazy hamster in murder skin.
416
00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:39,967
- There she is, Sheriff! Get her!
- Gotcha.
417
00:18:39,968 --> 00:18:42,473
That's the maniac
who stole my skin!
418
00:18:42,573 --> 00:18:45,913
- You didn't kill the lizard either?
- No, this just seemed like
419
00:18:45,914 --> 00:18:47,683
the simplest way
to get close to you.
420
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,855
Whoa, freak show, party of one.
421
00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:52,693
No, it's a freak show,
party of two.
422
00:18:52,726 --> 00:18:54,697
Now leave
my psychotic friend alone,
423
00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:56,902
you loose-skinned eye-licker!
424
00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:00,709
Thanks. Ha!
425
00:19:00,777 --> 00:19:03,582
Let's blow this pellet stand.
426
00:19:03,648 --> 00:19:07,389
Someday
I'm gonna marry that hamster.
427
00:19:09,962 --> 00:19:12,565
Seriously, God?
You kicked me out of heaven
428
00:19:12,566 --> 00:19:15,138
and went back
to testing me with garbage?
429
00:19:15,205 --> 00:19:17,109
You can't break me.
430
00:19:17,176 --> 00:19:18,626
[splat]
431
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:22,685
Recalled hot dog beef?
Aw!
432
00:19:22,686 --> 00:19:26,260
No!
I won't give in to temptation,
433
00:19:26,327 --> 00:19:27,777
and not because of the zappies.
434
00:19:27,797 --> 00:19:29,901
Because I can be good
on my own.
435
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:31,437
[toy squeaks]
Huh?
436
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,043
That's not a sound
my butt usually makes.
437
00:19:35,545 --> 00:19:39,387
[gasps]
Squeaky Pizza!
438
00:19:39,453 --> 00:19:43,762
Hallelujah!
Ha, I have been rewarded!
439
00:19:45,065 --> 00:19:47,403
So you're a pig, and your
family's been kidnapped.
440
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,509
- And action.
- [shakily] Line?
441
00:19:50,542 --> 00:19:53,648
- Oink?
- Hold on. Wait, say that again.
442
00:19:53,715 --> 00:19:55,618
- Oink?
- The pig's out.
443
00:19:55,619 --> 00:19:57,356
The dog that says "oink" is in.
444
00:19:57,389 --> 00:20:01,064
- Wait, what?
- I can't say I didn't see it coming.
445
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:03,667
- Honey!
- Chief! I figured everything out.
446
00:20:03,668 --> 00:20:05,572
Me too! I get it now.
447
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:07,643
God doesn't need me
to be a big shot
448
00:20:07,676 --> 00:20:09,815
telling other animals what to do.
449
00:20:09,848 --> 00:20:13,021
He just needs me to try to be
the best Chief I can be.
450
00:20:13,054 --> 00:20:15,559
Enough, Chief,
I have to tell you something.
451
00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:17,696
Yeah,
really make him feel stupid
452
00:20:17,730 --> 00:20:20,435
for believing in something
bigger than himself.
453
00:20:20,502 --> 00:20:22,406
I'm happy you figured it out.
454
00:20:22,439 --> 00:20:23,889
Also, He's not real
and it was Jill.
455
00:20:23,909 --> 00:20:26,147
- What was that?
- I'm glad you found meaning.
456
00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:28,318
Oh, I found more than meaning.
457
00:20:28,351 --> 00:20:30,455
[toy squeaks]
Squeaky Pizza.
458
00:20:30,489 --> 00:20:32,760
Turns out God
was just God's way
459
00:20:32,861 --> 00:20:34,597
of bringing us back together.
460
00:20:34,663 --> 00:20:37,336
And now,
to celebrate our reunion.
461
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:38,537
[chomping]
462
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:42,713
I left Mildred and my nut inheritance
to dedicate my life to you.
463
00:20:42,746 --> 00:20:45,652
Oh, sorry.
I-I'm not doing that anymore.
464
00:20:45,719 --> 00:20:48,024
Well, maybe I can help you.
I'm a therapist.
465
00:20:48,091 --> 00:20:51,431
Uh, I'm just gonna
bite a power line.
466
00:20:51,497 --> 00:20:55,539
? ?
467
00:20:55,605 --> 00:20:57,055
[chomps]
468
00:21:03,301 --> 00:21:05,238
[eerie music]
469
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:06,708
It's the perfect crime.
470
00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:09,447
? ?
[explosion]
471
00:21:09,513 --> 00:21:10,849
We take what he loves most,
472
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:13,656
and there's nothing
he can do about it,
473
00:21:13,756 --> 00:21:15,459
because he's just a pig.
474
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,329
[grunting]
475
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:19,033
? ?
476
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:21,739
[growling]
477
00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:23,289
? ?
478
00:21:23,308 --> 00:21:24,845
Like you always said,
479
00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:29,086
when you're too small to go
over the edge, go under it.
480
00:21:31,224 --> 00:21:32,674
Oink.
481
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:38,388
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