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1
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:09,916
[gulls squawk]
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,750
[Jonathan chuckles] No, no!
This is all true. It's a true story.
3
00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:17,875
Uh, so, uh... I thought the cashier said,
"Three dollars, nighty-night."
4
00:00:17,958 --> 00:00:21,125
So, uh, I said, "Excuse me?"
And she repeated it.
5
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:25,208
And what she actually said
was, "Three dollars ninety-nine."
6
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:27,541
- Oh, 99! Yeah.
- Ha-ha, good one!
7
00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:28,791
Oh!
8
00:00:29,416 --> 00:00:31,583
[Jonathan] "Nighty-night?"
It doesn't even make sense!
9
00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:34,083
It was the middle of the day,
for crying out loud!
10
00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:37,333
Please, please, stop it, Captain.
Por favor. You're killing us here!
11
00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:40,416
It happened maybe... oh, 15 years ago,
12
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:44,125
but I still think back on it every day,
and I just laugh so hard.
13
00:00:44,208 --> 00:00:47,833
Wow. Yeah, that's a...
Yeah, that's a great one.
14
00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:52,541
Oh, I know. It's my go-to story
when I want a real laugh fiesta.
15
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,458
[chuckles, sighs]
16
00:00:54,541 --> 00:00:57,541
Okay. Well, on another note, uh...
17
00:00:57,625 --> 00:01:00,583
I would like to make an announcement.
18
00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:05,708
I think it's time for me to, um... tinkle.
19
00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:08,000
[enthusiastic laughter]
20
00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:11,416
Please excuse me.
I'll be back in ten... ten, 15 minutes.
21
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,291
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
22
00:01:13,375 --> 00:01:14,375
- Ugh.
- Mm-mm.
23
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:17,166
No. No, we're done.
I can't take another second of this.
24
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:18,791
What are you... No!
25
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:19,875
Ugh.
26
00:01:20,583 --> 00:01:21,583
[sighs]
27
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:25,791
You've made it, Jonathan.
You have finally made it.
28
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:29,250
They love you out there. They love you.
29
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,791
- [toilet flushes]
- Oh, uh!
30
00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:35,208
And he's back.
31
00:01:35,291 --> 00:01:37,041
There's the man! [laughs]
32
00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:38,166
Hey! Capitán!
33
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,500
Oh-ho! Yes, it's me. I'm back.
34
00:01:40,583 --> 00:01:41,583
Whoo!
35
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:45,000
You know, I was thinking, do you mind
if I tell that 99-cent story again?
36
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:47,833
I just can't get over it. It's so fun!
37
00:01:51,541 --> 00:01:52,541
Yeah.
38
00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:55,791
[frantic string music playing]
39
00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:04,500
[gulls squawking]
40
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,375
[Jonathan] Okay. Listen up, people.
41
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:10,333
I just wanted to say
that I am so proud to work with a crew
42
00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:14,208
so dedicated
to making the world a better place.
43
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:18,375
So I want everyone
to put your hand on your shoulder
44
00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:19,875
like this.
45
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,041
And then go like this.
46
00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:27,250
Good work. Yeah, so ev... everyone...
everyone say that with me now.
47
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,291
- Good work. Yeah, good work.
- [all] Good work.
48
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:30,500
- Good work.
- Good work.
49
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,041
- Good work.
- Good work.
50
00:02:32,541 --> 00:02:34,000
Ah, okay, that's nice.
51
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:37,708
Okay, so next up is a chartered cruise
for just a few select passengers.
52
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,583
We have a group from China
and a group from Congo coming here.
53
00:02:41,666 --> 00:02:45,500
They have rented the whole ship
for the sole purpose of cultural exchange,
54
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,958
so that will be a lot of fun.
55
00:02:48,541 --> 00:02:50,541
[eerie music playing]
56
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:53,125
[bird calls]
57
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,166
- [dogs bark]
- [people shout]
58
00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:00,708
- [blows land]
- [dog barks]
59
00:03:04,875 --> 00:03:06,166
[guns clicking]
60
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,166
[automatic gunfire]
61
00:03:12,875 --> 00:03:18,583
[man] And therefore, I believe
this will be a great business opportunity
62
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:24,583
that will bring you much profit
and, uh... prosperity in the coming years.
63
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:26,833
That was it.
64
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,583
End of presentation.
65
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:29,666
Oh!
66
00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:31,308
Wh... Wh... Wh... What do you think, eh?
67
00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:34,458
Did I sound convincing?
Yeah? I nailed that, didn't I?
68
00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:36,375
Yes, that was... very good.
69
00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:39,416
Very thorough, with great use
of both graphics and diagrams
70
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,791
to emphasize your points.
71
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:42,375
[man chuckles proudly]
72
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:46,583
Good to hear. I can't understand
why someone would say no to this deal.
73
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:47,791
[tuts] No.
74
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:51,500
Listen to me, are there going to be
many people at this presentation?
75
00:03:51,583 --> 00:03:55,625
Ah, yes, I think maybe 15?
More than ten at least.
76
00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:57,625
- Oh, baby Jesus. Not good.
- Mm?
77
00:03:57,708 --> 00:04:01,250
You sounded nervous just rehearsing
in front of me, your wife of 25 years.
78
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:03,708
How are you going to handle
a bigger audience?
79
00:04:03,791 --> 00:04:07,333
Uh... Uh... But it is quite normal now. Ah-ah.
80
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:08,916
You know what Mark Twain said?
81
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,291
"There are two types of speakers, those
that get nervous and those who are liars."
82
00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:16,041
But no one gets
as nervous as you, Goodluck.
83
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,333
- Oh.
- You can't say grace at the dinner table
84
00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:21,583
with just me and the kids
without stuttering and blushing.
85
00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:22,875
[tuts] Oh.
86
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,666
I know. I'm my own worst enemy.
87
00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:29,708
- [yells]
- [automatic gunfire]
88
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:35,375
You are even bringing RCA to SCART?
89
00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:39,375
Ah. You should really ask them
what kind of setup they have on board.
90
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:42,416
Mm-mm. I'm not going to ask them.
It's not professional.
91
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,958
You are nothing without your PowerPoint.
92
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:47,708
If it does not work,
you are doomed to fail.
93
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:50,750
Just call them up.
It takes you 20 seconds.
94
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:51,750
If I call them,
95
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,416
it plays straight into the stereotypes
they have about warlords. Mm!
96
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,708
- I don't want to give them that.
- Ah! What stereotypes?
97
00:04:59,416 --> 00:05:01,208
You know, eh?
98
00:05:01,791 --> 00:05:04,559
That we don't know how to set up
PowerPoint presentations and all that.
99
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:06,041
I don't want to be pigeonholed.
100
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:07,666
[woman] Oh, sometimes I wish
101
00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:11,416
that some of your child soldiers
were snatched a few years later
102
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:15,958
so they came with some computer knowledge
or something like normal teenagers.
103
00:05:16,541 --> 00:05:18,958
Then I would not have to worry so much.
104
00:05:19,041 --> 00:05:20,833
Yes, it would have been fortunate.
105
00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:24,458
Yes, it would have,
but now you are on your own,
106
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:27,416
and don't you dare
come back without a signed deal.
107
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,583
Colonel Obote is ready to take your place
108
00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:32,750
the second you show yourself
as a weak warlord.
109
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000
[grunts]
110
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:36,833
[sighs]
111
00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:44,583
Uh, what are you doing, Jonathan?
112
00:05:44,666 --> 00:05:47,750
The, uh, Congolese party
are bringing their kids,
113
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:51,666
so I just... I wanna make sure the grown-ups
can have their meeting uninterrupted.
114
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,166
This looks great, right?
115
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,916
[Pedro] Yeah. Real nice.
116
00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:58,625
But these youngsters
might not be fans of magic
117
00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:00,333
and face paint.
118
00:06:00,416 --> 00:06:03,666
Oh, yes, of course.
Yeah, you're probably right, Pedro,
119
00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:07,541
'cause children
tend not to like this, huh?
120
00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,333
Or this.
121
00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:11,500
Hmm? Mm? Mm?
122
00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:13,291
What? Where did that come from?
123
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:16,333
My mouth? How is this even possible?
Those are handkerchiefs.
124
00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:19,333
And that is just part
of what I have in store
125
00:06:19,416 --> 00:06:21,458
for these little rugrats. [chuckles]
126
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:29,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
127
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:45,166
Welcome to the Caribbean Queen, Mr. Hong.
128
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,833
I am your captain,
129
00:06:46,916 --> 00:06:49,541
and I am so looking forward
to having you on board.
130
00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:52,916
A pleasure.
131
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,958
Oh, the... the pleasure is all mine.
132
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:56,625
[man sighs]
133
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,333
[in Mandarin] They all look alike.
134
00:06:58,416 --> 00:07:02,375
Impossible to tell them apart.
Very ugly faces. It is very consistent.
135
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,375
Almost like "ugly-face uniforms."
136
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,375
The captain is a tiny "boy-man."
137
00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:08,833
Horrible face and smells like old milk.
138
00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:11,333
- A captain should be sturdier.
- Right.
139
00:07:11,416 --> 00:07:12,833
I cannot respect him.
140
00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:16,291
[in English] I...
I speak Mandarin, you know?
141
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,166
I'm just kidding.
142
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:22,208
I'm as monolingual
as they come. [chuckles]
143
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,309
Wh... What were you...
What are you guys talking about?
144
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:28,166
Oh, just that we are
very happy to be here,
145
00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:31,791
and we want to bring thanks
for arranging this meeting.
146
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:33,500
Oh, our pleasure.
147
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:38,375
I hope you like to eat with sticks
because we have sticks in the restaurant.
148
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,791
None of that knife-and-fork nonsense.
149
00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:41,791
Okay.
150
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,666
You're gonna have so much fun.
151
00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:46,208
[chuckles]
152
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,583
Yes. Um...
153
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:52,583
Uh, Liza, would you please show
Mr. Hong and his friends to their cabins?
154
00:07:52,666 --> 00:07:55,416
[in Mandarin]
Please come with me, my friends. This way.
155
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,500
[in English] Bye.
156
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:00,750
Hoof!
157
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:06,291
Oh, Mr. Hong. What a character, huh?
158
00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:10,208
Hmm, yeah, pretty hostile.
You don't deserve that, my friend.
159
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:14,958
Well, maybe friendliness is a sign
of weakness or something in... in China?
160
00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:16,750
But he... he'll come around.
161
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:19,083
Kill them with kindness.
Isn't that what they say?
162
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,291
[phone buzzes, beeps]
163
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,375
Yes?
164
00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:25,291
Yes. Okay. Roger that.
165
00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:26,208
[phone beeps]
166
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:28,791
Mr. Goodluck and his crew are approaching.
167
00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:39,875
Oh! There, on the horizon.
168
00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:43,625
Ah, they're so far away,
but I can hear them real well.
169
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:47,916
What is happening to me? It's like I...
Oh, it's like have super hearing.
170
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:54,250
Maybe I finally found my hidden talent,
hearing exceptionally well at sea. Huh.
171
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,375
[eerie music playing]
172
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:00,958
Oh.
173
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:10,791
Welcome, Mr. Goodluck,
to the Caribbean Queen.
174
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,875
Uh... I am your captain,
Johnathan Fall. Hah. Uh...
175
00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:14,958
Oh.
176
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:18,916
[chuckles] I am so happy for Mr. Tyrant
setting up this meeting.
177
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,000
Please, bring him
my many thanks along with this.
178
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:26,500
Huh. Wow, it looks completely real.
I am sure he will love it.
179
00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:28,541
[Goodluck chuckles] I sure hope so.
180
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:31,500
[chuckles] Well, please come aboard.
We are expecting you.
181
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:32,708
Thank you, Captain.
182
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,500
Oh! One for you.
183
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,500
One for you.
184
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,166
Oh! Oh, excuse me.
185
00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:43,875
What's that
in your ear there, little fella? Ah!
186
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,291
Ah! [grunts]
187
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,208
Arrête ça.
188
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,833
- [gun clicks]
- [Jonathan chuckles]
189
00:09:50,916 --> 00:09:53,375
Oh wow, so strong.
190
00:09:53,458 --> 00:09:55,208
Huh! Well, that was fun.
191
00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:58,166
So we like to play cops and robbers
over there in Congo, do we?
192
00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:01,875
That is just... swell.
Fun and games is, uh... is good.
193
00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:05,000
Never lose your playfulness,
you little rascal. [chuckles]
194
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,875
Ooh. That was so fast.
195
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:16,916
[grunts] The battery,
this life-giving energy reservoir,
196
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,958
fueling everything
from trucks to telephones.
197
00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:21,875
Where would we be without it?
198
00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:25,208
And what would a battery be
without cobalt?
199
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,333
Just an expensive piece
of useless material.
200
00:10:29,416 --> 00:10:30,500
Material? Hmm-hmm.
201
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,458
[confidently] Material.
202
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:34,541
["Determined Minds" by H Double L playing]
203
00:10:34,625 --> 00:10:36,208
[H Double L raps in French]
204
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,875
[upbeat kids' music playing]
205
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,541
Hey there, Capitán.
206
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:53,625
Ah, nice rat costume.
What are you dressing up for?
207
00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:57,000
Just preparing for a show
that I am treating those kids to.
208
00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:59,000
Did you not notice how sullen they looked?
209
00:10:59,083 --> 00:11:01,208
Uh... No, not really, no.
210
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:04,541
Um... I'm not that good at reading emotions,
I guess. I don't know.
211
00:11:04,625 --> 00:11:08,708
Well, I am, and those kids
are in dire need of a good time.
212
00:11:08,791 --> 00:11:10,625
You know, maybe they just want to relax
213
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:12,833
and enjoy some time off
from the daily routine.
214
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:15,791
I mean, it's not often
they get to do relaxing stuff like this.
215
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,000
I think they are kept pretty busy,
if you ask me.
216
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:22,833
Kids are kids, and fun is universal.
217
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,500
I have prepared jokes,
218
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:28,833
and riddles, and rhymes,
and everything they could ever crave.
219
00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:30,833
Wow. Okay.
220
00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:33,291
Uh... Just lose the rat outfit.
221
00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:34,625
I think.
222
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:36,791
Oh, f... Yeah, fine. It's a bunny,
223
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:39,541
but I'm not compromising
on the rest of the show.
224
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:42,750
Maybe I care too much,
but children are our future,
225
00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:46,291
and I don't see anybody else
trying to lift their spirits around here.
226
00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:52,416
So this one...
227
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,916
- [bleeps]
- Oh.
228
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,208
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
229
00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:58,166
That is not... Ah, ah. Ah-ah.
230
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,458
Ooh. Wh... I...
231
00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:06,833
M... May I help you, Mr. Goodluck?
It's a... a bit tricky.
232
00:12:06,916 --> 00:12:10,791
Uh, no. I can do this easily.
I'm very computer literate.
233
00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:13,791
- So...
- Mm. That one is for the lights.
234
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:14,875
I know.
235
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:18,750
Yeah. Just tell me
if there's anything I can do.
236
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,125
There is nothing.
237
00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:24,500
I'm an expert in the different cables
and connections area,
238
00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:26,250
so that poses no problem for me.
239
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,625
- Okay.
- Okay. Okay. Mm.
240
00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,666
Just connect to the HDMI 2 there.
241
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:35,166
I knew that,
but that is not what I was trying to do.
242
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:40,916
Hmm.
243
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:54,958
Eh...
244
00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:56,625
Uh... [clears throat]
245
00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:03,041
Welcome to this presentation
of JSF, the Juvenile Security Force.
246
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:04,791
Uh...
247
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:08,791
[louder] Uh, can everyone hear me fine
all the way there in the back?
248
00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:11,750
Of course. This is just a small room.
249
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,416
[still at louder volume]
Oh, okay, good. Uh... Uh-uh... G...
250
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:15,666
[normal volume] Um, good.
251
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:18,708
Welcome to you, Mr. Hong,
and to your associates.
252
00:13:18,791 --> 00:13:24,750
It is an honor that you took the time
to meet us here in this fine... vessel.
253
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:27,208
[clears throat]
254
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:30,541
Okay, let us get straight to business.
255
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,500
Oh. [chuckles nervously]
256
00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:35,208
It's a personal photo, so, uh...
257
00:13:35,791 --> 00:13:38,041
Eh... Now you know more about me.
258
00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:41,416
That is always positive. Yeah? [chuckles]
259
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,875
Anyway. Uh, where was I?
260
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:45,333
Uh, yes. [clears throat]
261
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,000
When you leave this room today,
262
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:51,583
you will be convinced
that the Juvenile Security Force
263
00:13:51,666 --> 00:13:55,125
is the right choice
for guarding your cobalt mines.
264
00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,791
Because like we used to say,
"It's not who you know,
265
00:13:57,875 --> 00:13:59,541
but who you blow... up."
266
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,291
[chortles]
267
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,250
Who...
268
00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:08,541
Who you blow... up! [laughs]
269
00:14:08,625 --> 00:14:09,750
Because...
270
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:14,833
Because he blew up that son of a bitch
Sergeant Mawemba in his hut. [chuckles]
271
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:17,916
It is a... a very funny twist on the saying.
272
00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:25,583
Eh-heh. [clears throat]
I'll move along to myths or facts.
273
00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:28,166
Child soldiers need less food
than grown soldiers
274
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:31,083
and are therefore
a more affordable choice.
275
00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:32,791
Myth or fact?
276
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:35,291
[gulls cawing]
277
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:44,250
[blows air attempting to whistle]
278
00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:47,041
Capitán?
279
00:14:47,125 --> 00:14:50,708
Uh, how many of the children
have signed up for the magic show?
280
00:14:50,791 --> 00:14:51,791
Mm... No one.
281
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:54,500
D... What? What the freckles is wrong
with these children?
282
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:57,750
- I have a heck of a show prepared.
- I am aware. Yes.
283
00:14:57,833 --> 00:14:59,958
Did you tell them
I have a heck of a show prepared?
284
00:15:00,041 --> 00:15:01,416
Ye... Yes, I told them.
285
00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:03,416
In those words?
286
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,333
Yes.
287
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:08,041
Oh, not good.
Then they heard the H word. Ugh.
288
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:09,208
I think they'll be fine.
289
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:12,083
Were they excited about the show?
What did they say?
290
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:13,750
Nothing, uh...
291
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:16,333
- But two of them asked for hookers.
- What?
292
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,375
Eh, you know, Captain,
it's just kids' humor.
293
00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:22,041
Okay,
call an emergency staff meeting, pronto.
294
00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:23,791
I have a plan to solve this mess.
295
00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:27,125
Everyone has to join,
and I... I won't take no for an answer.
296
00:15:28,375 --> 00:15:30,375
[celebratory Latin music playing]
297
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:43,916
[Jonathan] Whoo!
298
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,333
Join in, friends! Come on! Come on!
299
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:49,333
What are you scared of? This is so fun.
300
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,000
♪ It's so much fu-un ♪
301
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,958
♪ This is so much fu-un ♪
302
00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:56,333
All the cups, uh... pots, uh... the knives,
303
00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:59,750
uh, the forks, and the spoons
can all be scaled down,
304
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:03,250
and in the long run
could save you a considerable amount.
305
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,500
Do you want me to elaborate on the savings
306
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:10,791
just because of the sheer lack of size
of the soldiers?
307
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:12,666
Eh?
308
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:15,916
No? Or yes?
309
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,791
O... Or no?
310
00:16:20,041 --> 00:16:21,041
[Latin music playing]
311
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,750
♪ Anyone for conga? ♪
312
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,583
♪ Want to join our conga? ♪
313
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:27,875
♪ Anyone for conga? Anyone for... ♪
314
00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:31,416
And reverse!
315
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,208
♪ No one here for conga ♪
316
00:16:33,291 --> 00:16:35,083
♪ No one here for conga ♪
317
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,916
♪ They're declining conga ♪
318
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,541
♪ We'll just leave you alone ♪
319
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,916
- Keep backing up, everybody!
- [music stops]
320
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,083
Let's take a break. Huh?
Is that okay for you, Mr. Hong?
321
00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:46,166
Yeah? A... A short break, eh?
322
00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,500
Eh... To... To... To clear our heads. [chuckles]
323
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,041
Eh-hah.
324
00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:53,291
Yes? O... Or no?
325
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,333
[all slurp]
326
00:16:59,416 --> 00:17:00,541
[sighs contentedly]
327
00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:04,666
Oh wow, thanks. I am so exhausted.
328
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:08,916
- Conga line is the best form of exercise.
- Really?
329
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,208
Yeah, I read that somewhere.
330
00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:14,750
Oh, I hope I didn't ruin
their meeting, but, uh...
331
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:19,458
being able to put a smile on all those
children's faces made it all worthwhile.
332
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,375
Yeah, no.
333
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,458
[mellow music playing over PA]
334
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,125
Sorry about the conga line.
335
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,708
Uh, I hope
I didn't ruin your presentation.
336
00:17:29,791 --> 00:17:31,833
Oh, that is okay. [sighs]
337
00:17:31,916 --> 00:17:33,958
It gave me an excuse to take a break.
338
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:37,291
I was just too nervous
during the presentation.
339
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:39,541
Look at my hands! They are still shaking.
340
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,416
Oh. Well, tho...
those sweet kids have made punch.
341
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,208
- Do you want some?
- Ah, sure.
342
00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:45,416
Punch for Goodluck!
343
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:49,250
I mean, we have a great product
that is really a no-brainer,
344
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:52,666
but I just don't think
I managed to get my point across.
345
00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:57,166
Heh? And I have to sign this deal, oh.
Or I fear it will be the end of me.
346
00:17:57,250 --> 00:18:00,500
Hey. Hey, don't let your job
take over your life.
347
00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:02,500
No job is that important.
348
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:04,666
Hmm. I don't know about that.
349
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,666
Anyway, this cruise is about
cultural exchange, so let's get to it.
350
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,500
[clears throat] Mr. Hong!
351
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,458
Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong!
352
00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:17,000
Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong!
353
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:19,041
Mr. Hong! Have a seat.
354
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:22,166
The kids have whipped up the best punch.
Can I get you some?
355
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:23,541
I do not drink.
356
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:27,250
Oh, but this is a recipe for kids,
so it's obviously alcohol-free.
357
00:18:28,958 --> 00:18:29,833
Ah.
358
00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:34,458
Just extremely tasty,
and, uh, very thirst quenching.
359
00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:37,833
Okay. I am thirsty
and have a sour taste in my mouth
360
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,333
after that shaky presentation.
361
00:18:40,416 --> 00:18:41,291
[chuckles]
362
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:46,500
Uh, could we get some of that tasty punch
for Mr. Hong and the mesmerizing Miss Gin?
363
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
[sighs]
364
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:52,500
So, uh, Mr. Hong from China, huh?
365
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:53,583
Correct.
366
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,333
- Yep. Businessman?
- Yes.
367
00:18:56,416 --> 00:19:00,125
Yeah, you see? I've done my due diligence.
368
00:19:00,208 --> 00:19:01,250
Oh, here we are.
369
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:04,500
This punch makes you giddy
for some reason.
370
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:06,833
Oh, let's chug it down, just for fun.
371
00:19:06,916 --> 00:19:10,458
Okay. What's the harm
in pounding some alcohol-free punch?
372
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:11,791
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
373
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:12,875
Uh, yes.
374
00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:17,041
[mellow hip-hop music playing]
375
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:22,541
It's just that, for the first time,
I feel that my parents might be,
376
00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:26,500
you know, kind of proud of me.
[chuckles] Sorry.
377
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,125
And I don't really know
how to embrace that
378
00:19:29,208 --> 00:19:32,375
because the feelings
are kind of new, you know? Sorry.
379
00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:34,500
So I just...
I don't know how to respond to that.
380
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:36,250
Sorry. If that makes any sense.
381
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:39,416
It does. Totally.
382
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,375
You know what?
383
00:19:40,458 --> 00:19:44,583
I wish you could see yourself
as I see you here.
384
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:47,791
- I... I... I was thinking the same thing.
- Oh.
385
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:48,875
Yes.
386
00:19:48,916 --> 00:19:52,875
When I look at you,
I see a confident young captain
387
00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:57,166
who has the ability
to guide his ship through the storm.
388
00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,708
And that is the man
that you will show your parents.
389
00:19:59,791 --> 00:20:00,625
Yes.
390
00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:05,208
And your brother
who, if I can speak freely,
391
00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:08,041
seems like a total asshole.
392
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:12,666
A... A real gaping asshole, that Tanner.
393
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:16,458
[laughs]
394
00:20:16,541 --> 00:20:18,625
To our new friendship.
395
00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:22,750
And to the future partnership of you two?
396
00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:24,250
[chuckles]
397
00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:28,208
Why don't we get a few more of these
and go into the meeting room?
398
00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:29,125
Yeah?
399
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:32,041
And take another look
at that presentation.
400
00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:33,333
[laughs]
401
00:20:33,416 --> 00:20:34,416
Great idea.
402
00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:38,375
I'll come with you guys.
I don't even care if you don't want me to.
403
00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:41,291
Would you look at that, Pedro?
404
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:44,500
I never thought in a million years
that our good captain could be the glue
405
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:47,625
that could seal the deal on this one. Wow.
406
00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:50,333
I know. They actually love him. Ah.
407
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:54,458
- What a find. What a find, Liza.
- Yeah.
408
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,000
- Ha.
- And that's on us, eh?
409
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:59,625
I mean, we picked him.
He is actually a keeper. Hmm!
410
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,291
[hip-hop music echoing in background]
411
00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:10,416
We did it! The cultural-exchange deal
is sealed! Whoo!
412
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:15,041
Yes, and we've got to document
this historic event, my friends. Come on.
413
00:21:15,125 --> 00:21:15,958
- Sure!
- Oh yes.
414
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,458
[Liza] Okay? Say cheese!
415
00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:19,291
[all] Cheese!
416
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:22,666
And some children also, please.
Come on, kids. Go on.
417
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:24,875
- Yup, okay, big smiles.
- Okay.
418
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,750
[automatic gunfire]
419
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:29,541
He... He's okay. Whoo!
420
00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:38,083
[bottle clatters]
421
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:41,833
[doorbell rings]
422
00:21:41,916 --> 00:21:43,208
[groans]
423
00:21:43,291 --> 00:21:45,750
Knock, knock. I'm coming. I'm coming.
424
00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:50,000
The Steelmeister!
425
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:52,125
Mike?
426
00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:55,458
Yep. Heard you got divorced,
and I need a wingman.
427
00:21:55,541 --> 00:21:59,083
You used to be the best.
I can thank you for so much punani.
428
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:01,958
Yeah, well, I'm a different man now. Uh...
429
00:22:02,041 --> 00:22:04,583
I... T... I've been domesticated in a way.
430
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,166
Okay, but I haven't.
431
00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:08,083
I'm still single
and chasing the fur burger
432
00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:09,583
with more eagerness than ever.
433
00:22:09,666 --> 00:22:12,500
[coughs] Good for you, but I don't know.
434
00:22:12,583 --> 00:22:14,000
Look at yourself.
435
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,583
All you guys are the same after a divorce.
436
00:22:16,666 --> 00:22:19,291
So miserable,
and with such a lack of confidence.
437
00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:22,083
You need to put yourself out there,
play the scene.
438
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:25,041
[sniffs] But first
we need to clean you up.
439
00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:33,958
[inspirational music playing]
440
00:22:36,416 --> 00:22:39,041
Wow. Just wow.
441
00:22:39,541 --> 00:22:41,541
That made me... hard.
442
00:22:41,625 --> 00:22:45,083
I would tear the clothes off you
and have passionate sex with you right now
443
00:22:45,166 --> 00:22:47,166
if I weren't so extremely heterosexual.
444
00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:48,083
Okay.
445
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,875
Let's go speed dating, bro.
446
00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:53,875
[mellow dance music playing over PA]
447
00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:59,083
Just lie. That is my best tip.
448
00:22:59,166 --> 00:23:02,791
Say that you're a pediatrician
and that you cry at work every day
449
00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:04,500
because you care too much.
450
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:09,291
Okay. I mean, I'm not a great liar,
but I guess it's worth a try.
451
00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:14,833
Get in the groove, man. Act sexy. Come on.
452
00:23:14,916 --> 00:23:17,375
Advertise yourself
before the hunting starts, huh?
453
00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,916
Ha-ha-ha.
454
00:23:32,750 --> 00:23:34,375
Hmm. [chuckles]
455
00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:35,291
[inhales] Wow.
456
00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:38,291
So those are the "cliff notes"
on your divorce.
457
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,166
And you are also the man
behind the animal rampage
458
00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:45,250
that eventually took 187 lives
and 79 faces plus-minus?
459
00:23:45,333 --> 00:23:47,750
Uh... Yeah, that'd be me.
460
00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:52,458
Well, your physical attractiveness
overshadows all that negative stuff.
461
00:23:52,541 --> 00:23:55,875
In fact, I'm glad to hear
you have so many lives on your "conscious"
462
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,875
because we women like bad boys.
463
00:23:58,958 --> 00:24:00,666
- [chuckles]
- Uh...
464
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:01,916
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
465
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,000
- Wait...
- Excuse me.
466
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,958
So do you want to get outta here?
467
00:24:05,041 --> 00:24:07,291
I could clean your house
and make you a nice dinner?
468
00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:09,267
- Dinner...
- We could have great sex to top it off.
469
00:24:09,291 --> 00:24:10,291
Oh, sex.
470
00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:12,625
Well, what do you say?
Should we get outta here?
471
00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:16,166
I could have my driver pick us up.
I have a driver because I'm so rich.
472
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:19,041
Uh-huh. Where have I seen you before?
473
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,291
[dramatic drumroll]
474
00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:22,375
Hello?
475
00:24:23,375 --> 00:24:24,208
Great.
476
00:24:24,291 --> 00:24:26,666
Steelmeister, where you going?
477
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:29,875
Steelmeister! Don't leave me here
with all these washed-up skanks!
478
00:24:29,958 --> 00:24:31,958
[man] Whoa, not cool, bro!
479
00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:33,458
- Kidding.
- Asshole!
480
00:24:34,125 --> 00:24:36,083
- [dramatic drumroll]
- [bottles clatter]
481
00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:37,750
[suspenseful music playing]
482
00:24:54,791 --> 00:24:57,791
Well, jackhammer me senseless.
483
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,458
It's the same ship.
They just renamed it and painted it.
484
00:25:04,416 --> 00:25:07,625
[chuckles] The head of the snake.
485
00:25:11,166 --> 00:25:14,875
Becker, old friend, it's time to get
the old team back together.
486
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:16,791
It's showtime.
487
00:25:16,875 --> 00:25:18,875
[music crescendoes, fades]
488
00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:22,291
[smooth jazz music playing]
489
00:25:23,305 --> 00:26:23,408
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490
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