All language subtitles for The Avengers - S2E01 - Mr. Teddy Bear

(theme music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

Director: Right.
Settle down now, studio.

Dead quiet, please.

(theme music playing)

Good evening and welcome
to "The Man and the Place."

Tonight, we call on a man
not of one but of many places.

His name is
Colonel Vernon Wayne-Gilley,

whose ninth book, "Go Anywhere,"
has been published.

Many of you will remember
his previous books,

which have been described
by the reviewers

as astringent mixtures of
hard travel and hard politics.

And, of course, he's appeared
many times on television, too.

And so tonight,
Colonel Wayne-Gilley

is back with us
in our studio again,

and he's gonna give us
some of his views

and also, we hope, tell us
some of the fascinating stories

that he's collected
in a lifetime of crossing

and recrossing the world.

Good evening, Colonel.

Well, now, Colonel,
um, out of all the places,

out of all the countries
that you've visited,

can you think of one that
you'd prefer to remember

than any of the others?

Colonel?

(grunting)

Good morning, Gilmore, sorry
to badger you again like this.

That's all right, Steed.
Nice to see you.

Well, we've got something
for you.

- What is it? - I don't know
whether you're gonna like this...

but fortunately,
it's none of my business.

Tell me he has a heart attack,
I'll leave you in peace.

I've only a general interest
in him. Now, I am intrigued.

It's not often
a man falls dead

in front of
the television cameras.

The viewers
got good value last night.

Better value than you think.
He was murdered.

You've made my day.

How'd he die?

- He was poisoned.
- What with?

Cyanide.

- Cyanide?
- Go in there and take a deep breath.

- You can still smell the stuff.
- What sort of dose?

Enough to kill a horse,
couple of horses.

Ho ho.

Mm. Were you watching
last night?

Me? You know
my working hours.

Of course.
Well, I was watching.

The stuff was in his stomach,
I suppose.

It was in his stomach.
I know what you're thinking.

Cyanide acts like that,

so how could he take a fatal
dose before he went on the air?

- How?
- Like this...

If I hadn't fished this
out of his stomach myself,

I would never
have believed it.

Well, he was taking pills
for some sort of allergy.

Yes. He was certainly
allergic to this one.

Now, we take that in half.

Now, that little chap there
is a watch mechanism.

I don't know how you set it
or wind it up yet,

but that's what it is.
It's jeweled, too.

It's precision stuff.

And that was in
Wayne-Gilley's stomach?

Yes, in two halves.
I've put it together since.

There's a sort of spring mechanism
which shoots the two halves apart.

And that was set to go off
at 8:30 last night,

the time that he appeared
on the air.

I suppose so, yes.

- You've tested it for cyanide?
- Of course I have.

Yeah, of course.
So he could've taken this

instead of his own pills
anytime during the day.

At half past eight, shoots
enough cyanide into his stomach

to knock out a regiment,
thus murder.

And before goodness knows
how many witnesses.

- Oh, there's another thing.
- What's that?

How could Wayne-Gilley know,
I mean, how could he know

that he was gonna take
one of this pills?

That's your problem.

Hah. I suppose it is.
It is quite a problem, too.

I don't care
how non-committal you are.

That's the picture.
He died of heart failure.

All right, call it pulmonary embolism
if you're talking to them.

What? No, Fortunately,
we got one of our own men

to do the PM,
so that's all right,

and we'll keep you
in the picture, sir.

Now, how many
of these things are there?

24, including
the one he swallowed.

- And all fitted with this
time mechanism. - Every one.

It wouldn't have made any
difference which one he'd taken.

It would have been the same. They were
all in pieces when we found the bottle.

They all came apart at
half past eight last night?

- That's right.
- Hmm.

Didn't care
if we found them, did he?

Well, he knew we'd find one
at the post-mortem.

Couple of dozen more
wouldn't matter.

Expensive, Steed.
Very expensive.

How much one of these
little gadgets cost?

£40, £50 if you had them made
specially. Swiss, I suppose.

£1,200, £1,500 the lot.

Biggish overheads.

Not really,
not for him.

Him? What do you mean, him?

You running to clairvoyance
these days, Steed?

No more than you. I see
you've got his file out already.

Hmm. All right.
Let's have a look.

Olaf Pommeroy alias
Jules Edouard Baer alias...

Edward Speerman?

Yes, and several others
we don't know about.

"Mr. Teddy Bear."

Hmm, "Mr. Teddy Bear."

Yes. What do we know
about him?

Born... well,
that's a bit difficult.

- Sardinia.
- Maybe.

First we really know of him
was with the Resistance,

World War II,
Greece and then Italy.

Yes, he'd started to specialize
in executions even then.

Herr General Grantz.
He took off the Fuhrer a bit.

Used to bash the table
when he made speeches.

He was addressing
the loyal population

of Talana, Italy, in May '43,

grabbed hold of the microphone
to emphasize a point or two,

Unfortunately,
the stem was cut,

carrying a couple
of thousand volts or so.

Herr General Freiber, gassed
when opening his safe. Mindel...

I remember him, he was the lad
who liked souvenirs, wasn't he?

He had an American hand grenade
turned into a table lighter.

He picked it up one evening
to light a cigar,

found that someone had turned it
back into a live grenade again.

After the war, nothing
for five or six years.

Mr. Teddy Bear.
What's his current price?

According to all accounts,
£100,000 per killing.

Whew.

For that, you get a nice,
quiet practical joke

or a public execution like last
night's affair, according to taste.

'Course, Wayne-Gilley had it
coming to him for a long time.

I'm not surprised. He was a double
agent for so many countries,

I'm a wonder
it didn't happen before.

Even double agents
have their uses.

What about Mr. Teddy Bear?

What do you got
in his personal file?

I wonder what mischief that
little fellow had been up to.

- That's not much use, is it?
- Can't even get his height.

- Anything else? - He was in Rome
18 months ago. Now he's here.

- Surely he would've left after last
night. - He didn't. That we do know.

Also, unreliable sources say

he's got another job to do here
before he does leave.

- Really?
- Yes, unfortunately,

unreliable sources
don't say who or what.

Anyway, Steed, get him.

That's as near an order
as I can make it.

Be a pleasure to deal with
a real professional again.

Hmm. Well, let me know
what you decide.

That's all.

Oh, yeah. Well,
I'll let you know.

(door opens and closes)

"Mr. Teddy Bear."

(Steed plays piano notes,
hums "Blue Danube Waltz")

But how do we get hold of him?
Box number, telephone number?

You don't call him,
he calls you.

Mr. Teddy Bear likes to
work alone as much as possible.

Anyway, you want contact
to be made somehow.

That's right and hire him
to do another killing.

- Who?
- Me, for instance.

(continues humming)

Are you considered
good enough bait?

I don't see why not.

It's not my pedigree
he wants, only money.

♪ Bum bum bum... ♪
Oh...

We put it around that
you're in the market

for hired assassins, so if
you're ready, let's get started.

Thank heavens. I thought
we were in for a musical evening.

Come on, you've got
homework to do.

You don't think we can let you
hire Mr. Teddy Bear

on his own account, do you,
much as you might like to?

Oh, I thought it was
just like calling a cab.

Who do you want me
to represent?

That is your homework, so get
your boots on and let's get going.

We got a long evening.
After you.

After you, lady. All right,
George, set her up.

All set, John.

Fine. That's Bridges,
Jeffrey Bridges.

- He's your immediate superior.
- Let's see them.

I'm sorry. Bridges again.

Height... 5-foot-10.
Weight... 170.

He's got a slight
Welsh accent. Listen.

He's a long way towards it,
believe you me, boy,

so don't give me all that talk
about accurate information.

And another thing...

Now, he'll act as a cover
for your story. Listen again.

He's a long way towards it,
believe you me, boy,

so don't give me all that talk
about accurate information.

And another thing...

All right, that's Bridges.
Who else?

(snaps) Sliebermann.
Now, he's your Brussels contact.

Import/export, drugs,
diamonds, women.

He looks
a very unpleasant character.

He's actually
Detective Sergeant Cook.

He's married, he's got
three kids, lives at Staines.

It just shows you can't
go by appearances.

- All right, Sliebermann, Brussels.
I've got it. - Now, Sliebermann,

as far as you're concerned,
will arrange payment for the job.

- Before or after you're dead?
- I can't say. Seems to vary.

Normally, Mr. Teddy Bear,
he's like £20,000 in advance

more or less to cover expenses,
rest on delivery.

Very gentlemanly.

Hasn't anybody
ever welshed on him?

Yeah, there was one.

They dropped his body
by helicopter

right onto the Exhibition Square
at the opening of the last.

Trade Festival at Zagreb,
and it made a very nasty splash.

After that,
as far as we know...

- All his clients have paid up like
gentlemen. - On you go. Right through it.

I'm using my own name,
age, and background

up till two years ago
when I became contact

for a European syndicate
known as the Silverfish,

trading principally in watches
and operating from Bern,

Stuttgart, and Turin.

For the following
18 months,

I handled transactions in cash
to about £2 1/2 million,

ending with an arms deal
financed by Sliebermann in Brussels.

Visa and entry permit
to correspond.

Right. For the past four months,
I've been in Britain

to negotiate the murder
of John Steed.

- Why?
- Why? I don't know why.

It's not part of my business
to know why.

Yeah, quite right.
Now remember another thing.

- If it's safely possible,
tell the truth. - Naturally.

Mr. Teddy Bear
has got an eye on you.

He must know you've met me
several times the last few days.

But there's no harm in that.
Just admit it, you know.

All right.

Oh, and don't get
any spectacular ideas.

If we thought could get
Mr. Teddy Bear

when he first met you,
we'd be behind you

with a platoon of infantry,
but he's a professional

all the way up to the tips
of his furry ears,

so forget about
concealing six-shooters

in your stocking tops,
baby-blue eyes.

I wonder if you're right.
If it wouldn't be better...

to make our grab now
before he's had time to think.

No, it wouldn't.
Just do as I say.

There might not be
a second chance.

There will.
There will.

If there isn't,
it'll be your funeral, won't it?

Heh. All right, George,
you go all over that again.

- Right, sir.
- Fine.

Man:
Central answering service here.

For whom do you wish
to leave a message?

Mr. Jeffrey Bridges, please.

Just a moment.

Will you please
dictate your message?

Will you tell him I have
an appointment this evening?

I have to go to place called
Mantle's Holt near Barton.

Mantle's Holt. That's all.

Who is speaking, please?

Cathy.

Thank you.

Yeah, Mantle's Holt.
Yes, sir.

Looks like a large house
from the map. Hold on.

It's slap in the middle
of a marsh.

The nearest village is Barton,
and that should be...

40 minutes by car.

♪ Hey, tiger,
I'm gonna be the king cat ♪

♪ Aw, get on over, tiger ♪

♪ I'm gonna be the king cat ♪

♪ Well, now don't you grab
your buddy tonight ♪

♪ He don't like it
like that ♪

20 cigarettes, please.
This is Barton, isn't it?

That's right, love.

I'm looking for a place
called Mantle's Holt.

Do you know where it is?

Left it a bit late,
haven't ya?

Hardly be able to see your feet
this time of night out there.

- (register dings)
- Been empty for years.

Yes, I know. I'm from
the Preservation Society.

I'm supposed to have a look
at it, only I lost my way.

Shouldn't have thought
it was worth preserving.

Still, out the door,
turn left.

Seven mile up the hill,
you'll see the drive.

- In a car?
- Yes.

- Mind how you go, then.
- Right. Thank you.

(song continues)

Yes, sir.
What can I do for you?

- I'll have a cup of tea.
- Cup of tea. Right.

♪ Aw, get on over, tiger ♪

♪ I'm gonna be
the top dog... ♪

(car door closes,
engine starts)

(engine sputters)

Man over intercom:
Sit down.

Over there.

I hope I did not
startle you, Mrs. Gale.

You must forgive
my sense of humor.

It sometimes
runs away with me.

- Where are you?
- Here, right here.

Oh, you cannot see me,
but I see you.

Look upwards
and a little to your left.

Will you have a cigarette?

No, thank you.

No? Very well. Let us
get down to business.

Oh, I do beg you
not to be nervous.

I find it distressing
to talk to nervous clients,

particularly when they are
as charming as yourself.

- Thank you.
- Oh, that's better.

Now, I have examined
your credentials

and find them satisfactory
in every respect.

I understand you want
John Steed dead.

That's right.

You have no personal motive?

None whatever.

I must ask because I see
you have contacted Steed

- a good deal in the last month.
- Quite true.

We've been trying to reach
an agreement with him.

But you have failed,
and so you want him dead.

- Yes.
- Publicly or privately?

It's of no importance. What is
the charge for your services?

200,000.

That's high. I was given
to understand...

As it is Mr. Steed,
my price

is higher than normal
on that account

Cathy: I see.
How do you wish to be paid?

In diamonds, please,
on proof of death, of course.

I shall require
an advance of payment now.

How much?

If you would remove
the pendant you're wearing

and place it on the desk
in front of you,

that will be admirable.

I'm sure you'll wish
to get back to London

as soon as possible,

so I will keep you
no longer.

May I say it's been a pleasure
to do business with you,

Mrs. Gale?

Mrs. Gale!

Yes?

You will see me again,

not like this, of course,
but you will see me

in about five days.

I hope you will have
the rest of my payment ready.

Of course.

Then good night.

(door closes)

Man: The quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog.

The quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog.

Nearer?

No. That's slightly speeded
with a good deal of compression.

(changed pitch) The quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog.

The quick brown fox
jumps over...

Nearer,
but not quite right.

We could try clipping it up
a little tighter.

It's difficult to recognize
any accent through all that,

even assuming there was one
in the first place.

I don't think there was.
It was all rather grotesque.

It took me a minute or two to realize
that it was him talking through the doll.

He didn't mention anything
about any advance payment?

No, he just took
my diamond pendant.

Tsk tsk. Diamond.

What it comes to this then...
You saw no one.

He probably wasn't
even in the same building.

He spoke to you through
a teddy bear doll.

He inspected you through
a closed-circuit television link.

Wasn't his true voice because you presume
he fed through a racket like that.

You brought back
a cigarette case

which may or may not
have prints on it,

which in turn
may or may not be his.

You, of course, would've done
a good deal better.

Probably,
but there's always Henry.

The man on the motorbike.
You've got him?

I've got him at my flat.
I'm gonna have a word with him.

(telephone rings)

Hello, hello.

Oh, yes.
Fingerprints.

Huh? Yes.

I see.

Well, come on.

There were prints
all over it, in fact.

Well, any help?

The prints, according to what
the lab call a first estimate,

appear to be those
of an adult chimpanzee.

(laughs)

Here you are, Henry.

Come on now.
We can get closer than that.

Look, I don't know who you are,
but I don't have to talk to you.

Of course you don't, Henry.

I just went for a nice ride
in the country, that's all.

You like the feel of the wind
on your face, eh?

That's right, so take...

All right, that's enough.
We all have our own idea of fun.

I see from this you only just got that
license for that great big bike of yours.

I hope you got
your "L" plates up.

Oh, get lost.

Aren't you a bit old
for doing the town?

I see here it says you've been
driving trucks for years,

but I suppose it's too difficult
to follow anyone in a truck.

Follow anyone?
Don't be daft.

You had a bit of engine trouble.
You lost your ignition lead, eh?

Ought to be careful how you turn
that engine of yours over.

- You might rupture yourself.
- How'd you know about that?

Motorcycling's your hobby.
Knowing things is mine.

I know several people
would like to talk to you...

Only they can't be bothered...

Hey, you're molting,
aren't you, old girl?

About drugs,
immoral earnings,

and I should think
breaking and entering

and carrying an offensive weapon.
I don't mean your motorbike.

Plus, I don't think anyone really wants
to be bothered talking to you about that,

so why don't we just
talk about one thing?

And that is teddy bears.

Wait a minute.
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about teddy bears.
I collect them. It's a hobby.

I'm missing one from my collection.
Do you understand that?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

- Are you quite sure?
- Yeah, I'm quite sure.

Good. In that case,
I can let you go.

Let me go?

Yeah.

If you can't help me,
you can't, no hard feelings.

I'll have you, mister,
whoever you are...

- Steed, John Steed.
- Wrongful arrest.

You can get me here anytime
or your lawyer.

I'd advise you
to come in person.

I should think so.
Why should I?

It's gonna be very hot for you.
Be hot enough for a picnic.

Ha ha. Maybe even
a teddy bear's picnic.

If you want to cool off,
you come here. Oh, Henry?

- What?
- Mind the bears don't get ya.

Man: The house known
locally as Mantle's Holt

has been leased
for six months

in the name of
Barford-Heinz Associates.

(Steed yelps)

Steady.

A full examination of the house
has been made.

There was nothing relevant

except a considerable number
of units of electricity

have been consumed
over the last few days.

I'm not surprised.

No record of the name
Barford-Heinz Associates exists.

Cash was paid
for the lease,

which expires
in five and a half months.

There are numerous
scuff marks in the dust,

but no firm traces
and no prints, but...

Let me try that one.

Excellent. Excellent, excellent.

What had Henry to add
to the subject of Mr. Teddy Bear?

Nothing much,
but he'll be back.

That the best
you could do?

Well, look, we knew
we couldn't hold him.

Anyway, he was scared.

I wonder who Henry's
working for.

I don't know, probably somebody who
wants to pay a little money on the side

finding out
who Mr. Teddy Bear is.

Personally, I think it's like
wrestling with alligators,

but that's Henry's business.

As far as you're concerned,
he's just bait.

- I wouldn't worry about Henry
if I were you. - No, you wouldn't.

- I've got far better bait than Henry.
- Oh?

What do we know about
Mr. Teddy Bear?

He's a murderously efficient
technician.

- He spends money like water.
- Yeah, there's something more.

Yes, there is... all this
business with talking dolls

and television cameras,
Macabre sense of humor?

No. Vanity,
that's his weakness.

If we can offer him
a personal challenge,

something that his vanity
couldn't refuse,

tempt him to come out
in the open,

then we're
getting somewhere.

What had you in mind?

Oh, yeah. This.

A personal column
advertisement?

Well, it might work.
We got nothing to lose.

We got to prod him now.

Otherwise, he may get me
and not show himself at all.

It would be a waste
of good bait.

Yes, but this'll bring him out
where we can see him.

Mr. Teddy Bear:
Good evening, Mr. Steed.

I am glad you could come.

Don't do anything
in a hurry, Mr. Steed.

He was too eager
to meet me, Mr. Steed.

And besides, you caught him.

You seem to have
found something, Mr. Steed.

May I see?

Ah, yes, an attractive stone,

but quite worthless, I regret
to say, to me, at any rate.

You aren't going,
surely not without your hat.

That's right, Mr. Steed.

Not that I blame you
for trying,

but my eyes, shall I say,
are elsewhere.

Are you sure you aren't interested
in why I accepted your challenge?

- I think I know why.
- Do you?

Did you know, for instance,
that you have the distinction

of being the first man I've
been hired to kill twice over?

Am I now?

Once by the lady that gave me
that piece of jewelry...

How touching.

And once by the man
you took it off just now.

Of course, I won't disclose
who he was working for,

- but it is curious.
- Very curious.

I didn't realize
I was so popular.

Oh, I'm afraid so, which is why
I was curious enough

to meet you before you die,

which will be very shortly
in passing.

Of course, let's regard this
as something of a truce,

shall we?

Thank you. Let's regard it
as over.

As you wish, Mr. Steed.

I'm sorry we couldn't have met
under happier circumstances,

but there it is.

Mind how you go, Mr. Steed.
You are already a dead man!

That's all you found?
What sort of equipment?

Yeah, sounds much the same
as last time.

Oh, the dead man, his name's...
Oh, just a moment.

- What was his name?
- Henry Farrow, sir.

He called himself
Henry Farrow.

And nothing on Steed's car?
Good. Fine.

We got there about ten minutes
after your call.

And found?

A good deal of expensive
television equipment,

the dead body of Henry Farrow,
nothing else.

I've had the squad go over
your car, no booby traps.

I told you
he was a gentleman.

Never lay a finger
on a Rolls.

Hey, how about my coat
and waistcoat, are they clean?

- They're quite clean, sir.
- Nothing on radiography.

He'll be through
with the others soon.

I hope that satisfies you.

You seem more than
usually cautious. Why?

Oy vey,
infernal assurance.

Can I have
my cigarettes, George?

- Cigarettes, sir.
- Thanks, old boy.

Not getting jumpy?

- No.
- Well, I am.

Look, he's beginning
to show himself.

That's the main
thing.

Sooner or later, this obsessive
sense of humor of his

push him right over
the edge.

Yes. In the meantime, he's given us
little or no information about himself.

He's taken a good look
at you and Mrs. Gale.

We waste our time going over
your clothes and your car

looking for booby traps.

If Wayne-Gilley had
looked over his pills,

he would've completed
that television interview.

Mr. Teddy Bear's specialty
is death by gadgetry.

Now, there's
a very strong point

in favor of killing a man
with a booby trap.

You don't have to be there
when it goes off, so you can't lose.

If it misses,
you just try again.

- Approach you seem to approve of.
- Eh?

I'm talking about this.

Oh, yes. I gather
you don't approve.

I didn't say that, I'm merely
curious about your motive.

Why did you put it in?

I know how he feels.

He's been in this business
long as you and I, hasn't he?

Any other man, he would've
shown himself by now.

Well, he hasn't.
All he's done so far is laugh.

Looks like
a straight fight.

Him or me.
Thank you very much, George.

- All clear, sir. - In other words,
you're personally involved.

- Is that what you're saying?
- Oh, well, I suppose so.

If you feel involved, your judgment's
bad, and it'll get worse.

You understand?

I have to take you
out of the game.

- Yeah. Yes, you're quite right.
- Go back to your flat,

Stay there till
this is all over.

If somebody stakes a shot
at you, you can shout for help.

Otherwise, I suggest
you read a good book.

- (chuckles)
- Or something.

There's a man there now
checking everything.

So far, he's found nothing
out of the ordinary.

Oh, you'll find your
cigarette lighter's missing.

That was one of the more
obvious things we took.

It's in the lab now.
And they also used the big ear.

So if there is a bomb there,

it's a more than
usually cunning one.

So, you see, we're
as cautious-minded as you are.

Yes. And thank you very much
for the dressing gown, George.

Welcome, sir.

- Is that the lot, sir?
- Yeah.

Good night, sir.

- Ah, everything all right?
- Nothin' there at all, sir,

not unless there's a mine
under the floorboards.

Oh, if you find anything
yourself, let us know.

- We'll come and fix it up.
- Thanks, old boy.

I like your dog.
Good as gold.

Well, that's what you think.

My dear old girl.
What's the matter, eh?

Didn't you like him?
You got a friend, anyway.

(telephone rings)

Hello.

Mr. Teddy Bear:
Good night, Mr. Steed.

Sleep well.

(mail slot clicks,
doorbell rings)

(telephone rings)

Mr. Teddy Bear:
Good morning, Mrs. Gale.

I see the mail has just come.
Perhaps you'll open it.

Goods delivered as agreed.
Balance due... £198,000.

I see. How do you wish
to be paid?

I shall have to arrange it
with my organization.

You will, won't you?

I trust your organization
will see fit to pay promptly.

I will take the balance
not before this evening

and not later than tomorrow
night in industrial diamonds.

- Do you understand that?
- Industrial diamonds?

Where and how will you
have them delivered?

I will arrange for them
to be collected.

My representative
will call on you.

You will please
follow his instructions.

- Very well.
- Thank you, Mrs. Gale.

Man:
Central answering service.

I'd like to leave
a message, please...

(gasps)

Why aren't you dead?

Oh, looks as though
I am.

Hey, that's a very good
photo, isn't it?

I had a passport photo
taken once.

It made me look as though
I had a perpetual hangover.

But that is very good.
What'd he want?

£198,000 in industrial diamonds
would do for a start.

Anything you say.
Be a good little girl.

Will put it
in your little safe?

Ah.

All right, what now?

How are you gonna arrange
the handover?

He's collecting them
or rather his representative.

I'm to get
full instructions later.

Later? Didn't they
tell you when?

Between this evening
and tomorrow night.

What appointments
have you got?

I'm supposed to go to a lecture
at the institute this afternoon.

You better skip it.

There's a Paris conference.
That's not till next week.

Oh, Dr. Howell.

Who's he?

He's an expert
on the Upper Nile.

Supposed to be coming to see
some of my heads.

How many have you got?
Oh, those.

But that's not till
this evening.

- You know him by sight?
- Oh, yes.

I'm always meeting him
at conferences.

He lectures all over the world.
Everybody knows him.

- Anything else?
- No, I don't think so.

All right,
stay where you are.

If anyone tries to contact you,
leave us a message in the usual way.

- We'll have you covered, okay?
- What about you?

I'm dead, remember?

What you gonna do, count to
a hundred and start again?

Incidentally,
what did happen to you?

It was quite a bright idea.
I'll tell you sometime.

Oh, by the way, do you leave
your bathroom window open

deliberately?

(door closes)

I don't believe it.
It's too simple.

Be telling me next
he wants the stuff left in

the lost property
at Victoria Station.

- Yeah, well, my information...
- I don't want to hear your information.

This has gone far enough.

You set about this man
quite differently

right from the start.

I think we should keep
our sense of proportion.

Now listen, Steed.
Understand this... go home.

Go home? That's the most
dangerous place...

- Keep out of the way.
- What do you suggest?

Try not to make too big a fool of yourself
over the course of the next 24 hours.

We'll see what we can salvage
out of this mess.

- I'll take the dog for a walk.
- (telephone rings)

One Ten. Yes? Tomorrow at 4:00,
Royal Festival Hall.

Yes, of course we'll cover it.
We've got to.

(chuckles)

I should say
this one's all right.

Probably Benin.
Heh, it's a beauty.

Now, this one...
I'm not so sure.

What do you feel yourself?

I brought that one back with me.
I'm not sure about it, either.

Don't worry, I haven't spent
any money on it yet,

- so it doesn't really matter.
- Oh, I think it does.

Take this one, for example.

The man who made it,
is he alive or dead?

If he's been dead long enough,

perhaps it's worth
several thousand pounds.

If this has been made recently,
then it's worth nothing. Why?

You're an anthropologist.

Don't you find the question
fascinating?

The question of value?
Yes. Yes, I do.

Well, that's enough of that.

It's very kind of you to let
me come and look at them.

Oh, it's been most interesting.

I'm afraid I've taken up
too much of your time.

Must you go?

Yes. I've
an early plane tomorrow.

You haven't been in London long,
have you, Dr. Howell?

- Where are you staying?
- The Voyagers Club, as usual.

You're quite right.

I never seem to remain in one
place longer than a few days.

The penalty for the job
I'm in, I suppose. Heh heh.

Oh, yes, before I go,
I have something for you.

Thank you.

No.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Oh, yes.

I believe you've something
to give me, haven't you?

My dear girl,
what's the matter?

- It can't be.
- What on earth is it?

- Bad news?
- Where did you get this?

At the club, I was asked
to deliver it to you

and told you would have
something to give me,

a package of some sort,
I think.

Seems quite straightforward.
May I see?

Yes, it seems
quite in order.

"Please give Dr. Howell the box
you've been keeping for me.

Apologies for being
a day early. Edward B."

- Well, that's all right.
What's the matter? - Dr. Howell...

Though I don't see why
the black edge.

Looks like
mourning or something.

Tell me clearly.
Who gave you this?

Well, Bruin, of course.
Teddy Bruin at the club.

- You know him?
- Yes, of course I do.

I play bridge with him.

He's a member, then,
of the Voyagers?

Yes. Interesting man, too.

He's traveled all over
the Far East.

You have a package,
I suppose.

Oh, yes. Yes, I've got one.
I'll get it for you.

- This is it?
- That's it, Dr. Howell.

- What are you gonna do with it?
- I hadn't thought.

Is it valuable at all?

- You might say so.
- Oh.

Tell me, what does this.

Mr. Bruin at the club
look like?

I thought you said
you knew him.

Yes, but tell me
what you know about him.

Well, he's just an ordinary
sort of chap, I suppose.

I'm sorry,
are you in a hurry?

My plane leaves
early in the morning,

and I've got to get back to the
club and do a bit of packing.

Oh, and deliver this,
too, of course.

- Right, but hold on a minute.
- What are you doing?

I'm coming with you
to meet Mr. Bruin.

(telephone rings)

Excuse me.

Hello?

It's Steed here, Cathy.

Now listen 'cause
I haven't got very much time.

You've got a package
for a mutual friend.

Don't let him have it yet
because I want it.

I'll explain when I see you.

Bring it yourself
and come to Sorenso Imports.

You know where that is.
I'll see you there.

Sorenso, right. Now listen,
I've got somebody here with me.

What do you want me
to do about him?

I'm in a hurry.
Just do what you're told.

Goodbye.

Look, I have to go out,
and I must take this with me.

- But, uh...
- You said you were in a hurry.

This is very sudden.

Ah, come in, come in.
Sit down.

Now it's late at night.
I know I must apologize

for having to meet you under
such peculiar circumstances,

but there it is.

Those are the diamonds,
I expect. Good.

I'm glad you haven't surrounded
the whole place with police.

That's not the way you work,
is it? Oh, do sit down.

Of course, you've left
some sort of emergency

distress call behind you,
but we aren't really going

to be here long enough
to be worried about that.

And Steed?

The telephone call?
(chuckles)

Well, Mr. Steed is dead,
but this is his voice.

Interesting.

Yes. What's interesting is that
you think he's still alive.

Now, why is that, I wonder.

Yet you bring this package here
on his instructions.

This seems to be rather
a dirty game

we've got ourselves into,
doesn't it?

Your game, not mine.

You mind if I am absolutely
frank with you, Mrs. Gale?

I killed my first man
when I was 16 years old.

There was no doubt about him.
He died, and he deserved to die.

The issues were clear.

These days, there is getting
to be more and more doubt.

Which brings us
to where we are now.

You must know
why you are here.

To hear the story
of your life, apparently.

I suspect you're going
by the book, Mrs. Gale.

Irritate your opponent, it says,
and he'll give himself away.

Of course,
you were the first one

of my opponents around me
as close as this.

I'm surprised.

You and Mr. Steed.

And your organization,

about which
I am extremely curious.

But it's not altogether that.

What is it, then?

This is the first time
I've ever been faced

with the need
to kill a woman.

Then you've been lucky,
haven't you?

Oh, I suppose so.

And I shall do so if it becomes
absolutely necessary.

But, uh, let's hope we can
come to some other arrangement.

What had you in mind?

Well, the position
seems to be this...

I have these,
and I have you.

You are, I expect, armed.

Of course.

I wouldn't
dream of submitting you

to the indignity
of a search.

Mrs. Gale, might I
have your gun?

You win, Mr. Teddy Bear.

I believe it's called
territorial advantage.

Now, I am going to retire.
You have forced it on me.

Not that I particularly mind.
I have to stop somewhere.

And I would like,
if at all possible,

to stop short of killing you.

So the issue is clear.

I leave, I take these,
and I take you.

You will see, if you think
a moment, that I have to.

I can see that clearly.

Good. Now, I am going to
the Mediterranean.

If you are agreeable,
I could drop you off,

uh, shall we say
in the Aegean?

This is assuming I cooperate.
If I don't...

you will suppress your distaste
for killing women

and drop me overboard
in the Bay of Biscay?

Oh, I'm afraid so.

I'm willing to retire,
but not to commit suicide.

I see your point.

Supposing I say I agree
and then shout for help

at the earliest opportunity?

You have a surprising faith

in gentlemen's agreements,
Mr. Teddy Bear.

But perhaps you've noticed,
I'm not a gentleman.

Oh, I have noticed
with approval.

However, I should expect you
to give evidence of good faith

by, uh, taking one of these.

Nothing dangerous.

Just a rather strong
sleeping tablet.

Then I shall be
absolutely certain

that you won't interfere
for at least six hours.

Very well, I accept.

Good. I had hope you wouldn't
shout, "Death or glory."

I would've been
most inconvenient

to have to shoot you
here and now.

You're a young woman
of considerable courage.

Quite apart from anything else.

And now...

Just to appease
my curiosity.

I, uh... would hate
to travel 2,000 miles

and end up with
a couple dozen bars of soap.

You understand.
I have a natural caution.

Steed: I am the Demon King,
Mr. Teddy Bear.

- Mr. Steed.
- Cathy.

I've got his gun.

Check it.

It's loaded.

Where are you,
Mr. Steed?

I'm across the passageway.
I'm not a magician.

As you can hear, we haven't
dismantled all your equipment.

We kept your
intercom system going.

Mm, I congratulate you
on still being alive.

It was a close thing.

I didn't know you
had nerve gas in your armory.

Bit tricky to handle,

particularly mixed
with a blistering agent.

I have quite a nasty burn.

No real danger.

We met, you recall, uh...
in your flat

just after your organization
had carried out

their rather
efficient search.

So we did.
So we did.

You carry atropine,
the antidote.

You're very well-prepared.

I don't actually carry it,
but I have it around, you know.

Mm, and what now?

We want to talk to
Mr. Teddy Bear, you understand.

We want to have
a nice long chat with him.

What Mr. Steed means, Mrs. Gale,
is that he prefers me alive.

- I can see his point.
- What do you want me to do?

Move towards the door...
carefully.

Perhaps I can save you
the trouble.

The door is locked.
I doubt if you can force it.

I need hardly say
I don't propose to open it.

You hear that, Steed?

- Yes.
- It's true.

I might also add that this room
is meant to be fireproof,

which means, amongst other things,
its walls are steel-clad.

It's one of the reasons
I chose it.

Unless Mr. Steed
has a blowtorch,

I doubt he or anyone else
can get in for several hours.

- Let's wait, then.
- Can you wait?

Sooner or later,
your attention will wander.

When it does,
I shall jump you.

Are you quite sure
when I do that,

you can avoid killing me?

I am at the end of the road,
Mrs. Gale.

I have nothing to lose.

But we have a great deal
to win, Mr. Teddy Bear.

I know. I am sorry.
There, you see?

In fact, can you keep that gun
trained on me for more than an hour?

I suppose
you're too much of lady

to shoot him now,
in the kneecap, for instance.

As a matter of fact, I am.

So, Mr. Teddy Bear, you're going
to have to take one of those.

How long did you say it would
keep me out of trouble?

About six hours, wasn't it?
I should think that would do it.

Well?

My dear Mrs. Gale.

Now. And slowly.

- Now shall we go?
- What do you mean?

With your permission,
I propose to open that door.

I can see no reason
for staying here.

Oh, come now, Mrs. Gale,
If I were to disarm you,

I could hardly go very far,
could I?

Why not?

Only an animal
fights to the death.

I have no wish to be carried
out of here on a stretcher.

I prefer to walk.
Mr. Steed.

Careful, Cathy.

I suggest we hurry, Mr. Steed.
I feel rather tired.

Mrs. Gale, it has been
a pleasure to meet you.

I am sorry I had to
lie to a lady.

(coughs and gasps)

(jazz music playing)

I brought my homework.

I thought you might
find it interesting.

- Up you get, old girl.
- Not on the furniture.

All right. I don't want to
bore you with the whole lot.

I'll just read the end.

"Subject committed suicide
while in my custody

by means of poison."

That should put you
at the bottom of the class.

You should be caned
in front of the class.

It was a very bright idea
of Mr. Teddy Bear's

telling you it was
a sleeping tablet.

It was really poison.

Yet it would
appeal to you.

Touching faith in his word
as a gentleman.

If I hadn't come along,
you'd have drunk it all down.

- Like a good girl, wouldn't you?
- I've already thanked you.

Well, you're welcome.

By the way,
this might interest you.

It was in his pocket.
Go on, it won't bite you.

At least
I don't think it will.

Oh. That looks like
a strongbox key.

What are you
gonna do about it?

Are you sure
you don't want it?

Oh, no, no.
It was addressed to you.

Ah. I'll find the lock
it fits, I suppose.

I hope it's sunny.
I need a holiday.

Come along, old girl.

Come on, old girl.

By the way, what's its name?

Her? Freckles.
Come on, then, Freckles.

- Steed.
- Yeah, what?

When you do find it, be careful
how you open it, won't you?

Yes.

(theme music playing)