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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,300 She shoots, she scores! Goal! 2 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,700 - What? That's right! Give it! - Nice kick. 3 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,700 - Very nice kick. - Give me the ball! 4 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,600 Justin! 5 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:47,500 - Drop... Put me down! - OK. Down like... 6 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:48,800 Oh, sorry. 7 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,600 - Goodness. - Hey! 8 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,100 Hi. 9 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:59,500 - OK, you are really getting good. - You too. 10 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,000 I mean, when we first started going out, you couldn't kiss at all. 11 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,100 - I meant at soccer. - Really? 12 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,300 Absolutely. You're... 13 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,500 ...probably already better than half the guys on my team. 14 00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:14,100 Probably more than half. 15 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,200 What do you mean, I couldn't kiss at all? 16 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,300 Don't worry. I've taught you well. 17 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,000 I know. 18 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,000 OK, but seriously, don't you think 19 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,900 you'd get more playing time at a school like Michigan? 20 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,100 Maybe, but it's always been about being a Tar Heel for me. 21 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,200 I'm gonna wear that Carolina blue. 22 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,700 - Yeah. - Yeah, baby! 23 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,300 OK, what is the lacrosse team doing on our field? 24 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,400 - The school cut our team. - Wait, what? 25 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,100 - Not enough girls signed up. - So they just cut us? 26 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,400 They can't do that. 27 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,100 OK. This is not over. 28 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,600 Hi, girls. I heard the bad news. 29 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,000 "Bad"? It's a disaster. 30 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:10,100 Now college scouts won't even get to see us play. 31 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:13,600 I know. If there's anything I can do, just say the word. 32 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,900 Matter of fact, there is. We wanna try out for the boys team. 33 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,500 Anything besides that. 34 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,100 Coach, come on! You know that we're good enough. 35 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,900 I don't know that that's a thing that I know. 36 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,100 What? 37 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,900 All we're asking for is one shot. 38 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,000 - Yeah. - Girls, 39 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:34,500 we have two weeks before school starts. 40 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,300 Then we open against Illyria. A rivalry game. We have to win. 41 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,900 And we can help you win. 42 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,400 - Hey, baby. - Hey. 43 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,000 What's going on, coach? 44 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,400 The girls here want to try out for the team. 45 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,400 - You're not serious. - All right, all right! 46 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,700 You're all excellent players. 47 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,700 - But girls aren't as fast as boys. - Right. 48 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:01,400 - What? - Or as strong. Or as athletic. 49 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:06,500 This is not me talking. It's a scientific fact. 50 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:10,200 Girls can't beat boys. It's as simple as that. 51 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:13,700 OK. Justin, you're the team captain. What do you think about it? 52 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,200 I think the coach said it all. 53 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:21,000 Yesterday you told me that I was better than half the guys on your team. 54 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,500 What? 55 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:25,500 I never said that. 56 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,400 What are you talking about? Why are you lying?! 57 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,000 Viola! End of discussion. 58 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,700 Yeah, tell her, man. 59 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,500 Fine. End of relationship. 60 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,600 - Come on, let's go. - Baby, don't be like that. I... 61 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,200 I just don't want to see you get hurt. 62 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,600 You are so full of... 63 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,600 Back to practice. 64 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,800 Sebastian. 65 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,000 Sebastian?! 66 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,800 Sebastian! Jeez! 67 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,800 It's you. 68 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,200 God, you and your brother look scary alike from the back. 69 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,400 I think it's your total lack of curves. 70 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,800 Hi, Monique. It's so good to see you too. 71 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:22,100 I'm looking for Sebastian. Where is he? 72 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,600 I don't know. 73 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,700 Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life. 74 00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:30,100 And tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in it. OK? 75 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:34,000 OK. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEYOTCH? 76 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,000 She will do great things. 77 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,900 I have a surprise for you! 78 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,400 And this is why I don't bring friends over. 79 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,800 Mom, not now. I had a really bad day, so... 80 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,100 This is just the thing to just perk you up. 81 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,200 - Hold on. - OK. 82 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,600 Keep your eyes closed. 83 00:06:56,700 --> 00:07:00,300 - Eyes closed, closed, closed, closed. - They're closed. 84 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,700 All right. Surprise! 85 00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:08,300 Beautiful gowns for my darling debutante. 86 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,600 Mom, have I not told you a thousand times? 87 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:14,700 I have no interest in being a debutante. It's totally archaic. 88 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,700 How could I wind up with a daughter 89 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,200 who only wants to kick a muddy ball around a field all day? 90 00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:23,700 Well, the world has been set right, Mom. They cut my team. 91 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,200 - What? No soccer? - Yeah, that's right. No soccer. 92 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:30,000 - How sad. - Yeah, I can see you're all torn up. 93 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:33,600 Well, Justin's gonna love you in this. 94 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,300 Yet another reason not to wear it. I dumped him. 95 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:40,000 - What? Why? - I don't wanna talk about it. 96 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:43,000 He's so handsome and rugged 97 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:46,000 and chiseled and great. 98 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,600 Then why don't you date him, Mom? 99 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,400 No, I couldn't. 100 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,800 - Hey, Sebastian. - Hey. 101 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,500 You OK? 102 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,900 Monique was looking for you. 103 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,600 Why do you even date her, anyway? 104 00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:04,400 She's hot. It's a guy thing. 105 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,900 But she's so awful. 106 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,700 Hey, you know, you could use the front door. 107 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,500 And Mom can't see me. 108 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,500 She thinks I'm staying at Dad's. Dad thinks I'm at Mom's. 109 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:19,300 In two days they both think I'm going away to school. 110 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,600 - That is the beauty of divorce. - Where are you going? 111 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,300 London for a couple of weeks. 112 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,200 As in London, England? 113 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,900 Yeah, my band got a slot in a music festival there. 114 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,500 OK, what are you gonna do about school? 115 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:35,200 Yeah, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that. 116 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:39,600 Could you just, like, pretend to be Mom, call Illyria, tell them I'm sick? 117 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:43,200 Something that sounds like it would last for two weeks, like mad cow. 118 00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:46,900 Sebastian, you just got kicked out of Cornwall for skipping. 119 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,500 This is not exactly the way you want to start out. 120 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,800 I want to be a musician. 121 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:53,800 Last time I heard, they don't need to know trigonometry. 122 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,100 Besides, if you want to chase your dreams, 123 00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,700 sometimes you gotta break the rules, right? 124 00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:01,900 You know the percentage of bands that make it to the big time? 125 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,500 Probably the same as female soccer players. 126 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,400 I will see you in two weeks. 127 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,900 Sebastian. 128 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:12,500 - Sebastian! - Were you talking with your brother? 129 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,500 No. Yes. 130 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,700 On the phone. He's at Dad's. Bye, Dad. 131 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,200 Picture this: 132 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,000 We're at the country club, 133 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:25,900 they call your name, and you emerge in this. 134 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:33,400 No. Sorry, Mom. I have a strict no-ruffles policy. 135 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:38,700 Sometimes I just think you just might as well be your brother. 136 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,200 You know what? 137 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:48,900 If you can't join them, beat them. 138 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,200 You want me to turn you into your brother? 139 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,900 That's right. I'm going to Illyria as Sebastian. 140 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,600 I'll make the boys soccer team, and in 12 days beat the Cornwall boys team. 141 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,100 You've taken too many soccer balls to the head. 142 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,100 You know I can do it, Paul. 143 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:09,200 Except for the voice, mannerisms, the breasts, the mentality and... 144 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:12,400 It doesn't matter. Nobody at Illyria has even met Sebastian. 145 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,500 - They won't know the difference. - They'll know he's a girl. 146 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,600 - Oh, come on, Paul. - Yeah, come on, Paul. 147 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,500 Yeah, come on, Paul. 148 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,500 OK. OK. I'll see what I can do. 149 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,600 Yes! 150 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,400 Where are you going? 151 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,700 Mom, I told you! I'm going to Dad's house for two weeks. 152 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,700 No, you didn't. And you're not going. 153 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,400 We've hardly spent any time together this summer. 154 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:35,900 Now go upstairs and unpack. 155 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,400 OK, Mom, I thought about what you said. 156 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,600 And you know Monique is gonna be there 24l7 with Sebastian, 157 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,800 so, I don't know, I was just thinking 158 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,400 that maybe she'd show me the ropes on the whole debutante thing. 159 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,600 - This is so exciting! - Isn't it?! 160 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,300 You're gonna have so much fun. 161 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,600 There's the formal ball. And the luncheon. 162 00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,200 And, oh, did I mention the fundraiser next week? 163 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,500 It's gonna be a carnival! 164 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,100 Look out! 165 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,900 Your brother promised to be there, so remind him when you see him. 166 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,000 Oh, my little girl. You're finally gonna be a lady! 167 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,200 Are you sure I can do this?! 168 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,100 Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 169 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,900 What's up? 170 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,300 Oh, my God, he knew! 171 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,100 - I wanna go home! - Relax. He was being friendly! 172 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,300 We're not going home! Stop it! I did not spend all this time... 173 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,000 - It's your fault! Drive home! - My idea?! You asked me! 174 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,100 - I did your hair and makeup! - Reverse! 175 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,500 - I want to go! - You're being a girl! 176 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,500 - We're not going. - Come on! Drive! 177 00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:03,500 - He was being friendly. - All right! 178 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,400 Let's run through it one more time. 179 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,400 Let me hear the voice. 180 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:12,400 Hey. What's up? I'm Sebastian. 181 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,100 OK. Now show me the strut. 182 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,200 Now, hawk a loogie. 183 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,400 I'm so proud! 184 00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,400 - Get off me! - Remember, 185 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,800 inside every girl there's a boy. 186 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,300 That came out wrong. But you know what I mean. 187 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,600 Vi. 188 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,300 Be a good boy. 189 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,300 See you guys. 190 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,100 I can do this. I am a dude! 191 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:29,100 I am a hunky dude! I'm a badass hunky dude! 192 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,400 Hey! Hey! What up? 193 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,800 You must be my roommates. 194 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,300 What's your name? 195 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,900 - Sebastian Hastings. - Duke Orsino. 196 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,900 OK. 197 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,400 OK, OK, OK. 198 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,700 This is Andrew and Toby. They live next door. 199 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,800 Yeah. Freshman dorm's that-a-way, twiglet. 200 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,300 Seriously, how old are you? 201 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,000 I skipped a couple grades. 202 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,900 I'm brilliant. 203 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,400 Anyway, do you know when soccer tryouts start? 204 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,100 Noon. You play? 205 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:58,300 Absolutely. Center forward. You know it, bro. 206 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,000 So you play the beautiful game... bro? 207 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,400 Brothers? Brethren? 208 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,000 Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are halfbacks. 209 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,400 Schveet. 210 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,600 OK, why do you have tampons in your boot? 211 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,400 I get really bad nose bleeds. 212 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,500 So, you stick them up your nose? 213 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,700 Yeah. 214 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,400 What? You've never done that? 215 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,600 Oh, my... Beckham does it all the time. 216 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,100 - Seriously? - Yes. 217 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,700 Look. I'll just show you how to do it. 218 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,100 Take that off and... 219 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,000 ...whatever that is. 220 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,600 And you stick it right in. 221 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,000 It absorbs right up. 222 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,400 - Are you kidding me? - That's disgusting. 223 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,400 Oh, my God, your roommate's a freak. 224 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,500 That's so disgusting. 225 00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:01,600 Let's start the season how we finished the last. 226 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,600 Sharp! 227 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,100 What are you, the runt of the family? 228 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,700 OK, shirts and skins. 229 00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:24,300 Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt. 230 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,900 - What? - I'm allergic to the sun. 231 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,200 You're allergic to the sun? 232 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:34,500 Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic. 233 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,700 We like to accommodate here at Illyria. 234 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,400 So I'll follow you around with a parasol. All right, Nancy boy? 235 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,700 You're a shirt. 236 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,200 OK, guys, let's go. 237 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,600 One, two, three! 238 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,800 One, two, three! One, two, three! 239 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,300 At ease, gentlemen. 240 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:48,000 I've seen a lot of energy and commitment out there today. 241 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,300 And that makes a coach proud. 242 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,000 Now, I want to split us up into first string and second string. 243 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,300 You second-stringers, don't take it too hard. 244 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,700 You're just as much part of this team as the first-stringers. 245 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,200 Apart from, of course, playing the game part. 246 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:06,000 Schuler. 247 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,900 Haims. 248 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,500 Potensky. 249 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,100 Donner. 250 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,000 Hastings. 251 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:23,800 Second string. 252 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,100 The rest of you, congratulations. First-stringers. 253 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,500 Now, hit the showers. 254 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,900 Shower time. 255 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,800 Shower time? 256 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:44,900 - Hastings! No shower for you. - OK. 257 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,500 Principal Gold wants to see you in his office. 258 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,800 I'm over. It's done. They know. 259 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,800 Sebastian's file. 260 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,600 Sebastian... 261 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,000 Could it be any bigger? 262 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,000 Mr. Hastings. 263 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,200 Horatio Gold... 264 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,800 ...headmaster. 265 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,300 So very pleased to meet you. So very, very pleased. 266 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:29,400 Hello, sir. Heard you wanted to see me. 267 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,900 I'd like to say welcome. 268 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,300 I just wanted to have you in to say welcome. 269 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,900 See how you're doing. 270 00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:49,900 Yeah, I'm doing great, you know? Just... busy being a guy. 271 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:52,000 Being a guy. Yeah. 272 00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:56,400 Let's take a look at your file, Sebastian. And... 273 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,000 Seems to be... stuck a bit. 274 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:03,400 There we go. All right. 275 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,300 OK. Well... 276 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,600 OK, you're busted. 277 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,100 You don't wanna talk to the headmaster. But I won't take no for an answer. 278 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:22,600 Now, have a sit in the headmaster's chair. Come on, have a sit. 279 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,500 Sit it. 280 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,900 So, Sebastian Hastings. 281 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,500 - How do you like campus? - Beautiful. 282 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,000 You've been inspired by the charcoal black and candy apple red? 283 00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,800 - You know it. - Hey! 284 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:43,900 Don't touch it. Ever. Ever. Do not do that. 285 00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:47,400 You know, Sebastian, I was a transfer student myself... 286 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,900 ...once upon a time. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. 287 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,100 So I keep a special interest 288 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,700 in the transfer students that come to this school. 289 00:21:56,900 --> 00:22:00,400 Act as a... unofficial big brother. 290 00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:04,400 Don't be surprised if I just pop in unannounced just to check up. 291 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:08,100 Yeah, I look forward to it. 292 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,000 Now scoot! 293 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,500 Sorry. 294 00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:18,800 - Don't worry about it. - My fault. 295 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,200 What is? 296 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,100 Getting to know the opposite sex, are we? 297 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,000 Male-female dynamics. All that sexual tension. 298 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,400 It's all part of the high school experience. So continue. Please. 299 00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:34,600 But keep it clean, though. OK. 300 00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:39,600 Abstinence is key. Abstinence is... The best way to not is to not. 301 00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,300 Yes. 302 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:49,400 Is he always that friendly? 303 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,700 Are you kidding? That's him being rude. 304 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:56,400 All right. Cute shoes. 305 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,600 You think so? I got them at Anthropologie. 306 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,400 - No way! They have shoes there? - Oh, yeah. Right by the accessories. 307 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,500 Here are your books. 308 00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:10,000 - Thanks. - Well, I guess I'm gonna, 309 00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:13,700 you know, go take care of some guy stuff. 310 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:15,900 OK. 311 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:24,100 There you go. Have a great apple and sandwich. 312 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:25,600 Hi! I would love a... 313 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:26,700 - No. - But... 314 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:30,000 Hey, dudes. Mind if I join? 315 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,300 Thanks. 316 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,800 So those soccer tryouts were bogus, huh? 317 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:39,900 I mean, second string? Come on, that's ridiculous. Am I right? Am I right? 318 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,000 So the game against Cornwall, that should be interesting. 319 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:46,800 And why would that be interesting? 320 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,800 Well, my sister goes there, and she used to date that tool Justin Drayton. 321 00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:53,400 I know him. 322 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,800 - I made him cry once during a game. - Wait. 323 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,300 - That was you? - Absolutely. 324 00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:00,300 - That was so funny. - Wow. 325 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,300 Is your sister hot? 326 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,400 I guess so. 327 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:08,300 She's got a great personality. 328 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:12,100 Incoming. 329 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,400 Oh, yeah! Check out the booty on that blondie. 330 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,900 Don't talk about her that way. 331 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000 Is that your girlfriend? 332 00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:27,800 He wishes. 333 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:30,400 She was dating this college guy, but he dumped her. 334 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,100 I hear she's a total mess now, really vulnerable. 335 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,500 Confidence, self-esteem is way down. 336 00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:38,600 - In man words, it's time to pounce. - Exactly. 337 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,000 I hate that guy. 338 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,100 Did you know bologna is 38 percent hoof? 339 00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,300 Thanks, Malcolm. 340 00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:56,300 Looks like you got some competition. 341 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,700 - It's just Malcolm. - Total geek. 342 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,800 She looks so sad. It's heartbreaking. 343 00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,900 It... it's just... I can relate, you know? 344 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,900 I mean, I just got out of a bad relationship too. 345 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,100 I mean, you think you know someone. 346 00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:17,900 And you realize it's all been a big lie. 347 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000 Every touch. 348 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,500 Every kiss. 349 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:27,200 Plus, you know, you can never get chicks to shut up. 350 00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:30,400 All right, guys, catch up with you later. 351 00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:40,400 Empty shower. 352 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,700 Yes! 353 00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:48,500 I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower. 354 00:25:57,100 --> 00:25:59,800 Malcolm Festes, dorm director. 355 00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:02,800 Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times 356 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,800 except when in the actual shower. 357 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,700 Did you not read your Dorm Life pamphlet? 358 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,200 It was in your cubby. 359 00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:12,900 Wassup, dawg? 360 00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:15,700 Yeah. OK, homey. 361 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,000 Later. 362 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,500 Hey. You forgot... this, Coolio. 363 00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:29,500 Word, G-Money. 364 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,600 OK, Hastings, you're up! 365 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,300 Hastings, are you deaf?! 366 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,100 Come on, let's go! 367 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,900 Get your butt out there! Come on! 368 00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:04,900 Get out! 369 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:07,200 Jesus! 370 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,300 Come on, baby. Come on. 371 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,500 Rise and shine. 372 00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:48,900 Wait! Let go! 373 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,000 Let go! 374 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,400 Welcome to hell! 375 00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:05,400 Gentlemen! Let me present this year's soccer newbies! 376 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:07,500 First, you must remove your clothes! 377 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,400 Remove their clothes! Remove their clothes! 378 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:11,900 Take your clothes off now! 379 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,100 Remove their clothes! 380 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,600 Hello. My life sucks. 381 00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:33,700 - I'm done! - What? 382 00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:35,800 Everybody thinks I'm a loser deviant. 383 00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:38,100 I'll never see the field against Cornwall. 384 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,900 And I smell so bad I'm convulsing people. 385 00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:45,100 Pick me up, take me home and make sure I never do anything like this again. 386 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:49,800 Look, Vi, I don't know what to tell you about the whole soccer team... 387 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,600 ...but as for the social stuff, I got an idea. 388 00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:55,100 - You do? - Yeah. 389 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:58,400 We're gonna show everybody the man that you really are. 390 00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,800 How are we gonna do that? 391 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,400 Go, Viola. 392 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,600 High five. Nice. 393 00:29:07,700 --> 00:29:10,600 Man. Look who's here. 394 00:29:10,700 --> 00:29:12,700 Foxy mama. 395 00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,600 Don't look at him. Maybe he won't see us. 396 00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,500 Spread out so it looks like we got no room. 397 00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:23,600 - What's up? - What's up? 398 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,000 Go, Kia. 399 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,400 - Hey, Sebastian. - Kia. 400 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,800 Hey, girl. How you doing, baby? 401 00:29:38,900 --> 00:29:41,300 - Not the same without you. - I know. I'm sorry. 402 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,400 New school, new babe pool. 403 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:46,900 I miss you, Sebastian. 404 00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:49,600 I've been thinking about you a lot. 405 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,500 - Especially at night. - Sweet. 406 00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:53,600 - And late. - Even better. 407 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,500 Did she just say that to Sebastian? 408 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,400 - What just happened? - Oh, Sebastian. 409 00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:01,500 OK, big, mournful sigh. Bittersweet farewell. 410 00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:03,100 You're his plaything, baby. 411 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:05,300 It was really great to see you, Sebastian. 412 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:08,500 Call me anytime. 413 00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,000 I'd tap that. 414 00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:19,600 Thank you, Kia. You're gorgeous. And go, Yvonne. 415 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,300 Women. 416 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,500 - Yeah. - Yeah, you know what I'm saying? 417 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,200 Sebastian? Is that you? 418 00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:31,300 Hey, what's going on, Yvonne? 419 00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:33,000 - Who's this one? - Nothing. 420 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:37,500 I mean, our school lost its top gun, Sebastian Hastings. 421 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:42,100 Well, time comes for a man to move along, Yvonne. 422 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,400 I know, Sebastian. 423 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,700 In the end I wasn't woman enough for you. 424 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,100 No, you weren't. 425 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,700 That's something I'll always have to live with. 426 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,400 - It just hurts, that's all. - Love is pain. 427 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:56,700 Just know I'll never forget you, Sebastian. 428 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,800 Ever! Never! 429 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,700 Needy. 430 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:13,100 OK. We might need to do a little reevaluating here. 431 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,100 - Yeah. - Hey there, pretty lady. 432 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,400 What? What are you, hitting on me? 433 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,500 - I was just... - "I was just..." 434 00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:26,500 OK, let me put a stop to that little brain fart right now. 435 00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:30,800 Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours. 436 00:31:33,700 --> 00:31:37,900 I'm looking for my boyfriend Sebastian Hastings. Have you guys seen him? 437 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,300 Sebastian? 438 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,000 Don't let her get too close, she'll recognize you. 439 00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,200 What am I gonna do? 440 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,600 - Keep away from me! - I beg your pardon?! 441 00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:51,700 Pretty ladies. OK, don't come any closer, Monique. 442 00:31:51,900 --> 00:31:53,700 - Sebastian! - It's over! 443 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,200 What are you talking about?! 444 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,200 - I don't want to talk to you! - Sebastian, come back here. 445 00:31:58,300 --> 00:32:00,100 You're hot, Monique. Smoking hot. 446 00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:02,200 Come here. Get! Get! Get! 447 00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:05,100 - But there are plenty of hot girls. - Come back here. 448 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:10,400 And the truth is, you have absolutely nothing else to offer. 449 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,300 And when my eyes are closed, I see you for what you truly are, 450 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:18,200 which is ugly! We're done! 451 00:32:21,100 --> 00:32:24,500 That was amazing! 452 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,000 You the man! 453 00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:29,200 What's wrong with you guys? Make some room for the man. 454 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,200 Sit down! 455 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,500 You're officially my idol now, man. 456 00:32:35,900 --> 00:32:37,100 There he is. 457 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,100 - What's up? - What's up, brothers? 458 00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:41,600 - Hey, Sebastian. - Lovelies. 459 00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:44,200 - Holler at your boy. - Yo! Yo! Sebastian! 460 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,100 Can you get out of my way right now? 461 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,300 I need your advice. I got lady troubles. 462 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:51,600 I'm here for you, bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge. 463 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:53,600 How long did you date? 464 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,000 Too long. Ball and frickin' chain, man. 465 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:02,700 Dude. 466 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,500 Justine. Chick won't stop dogging me, man. 467 00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:10,900 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's in our class. 468 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,400 Dude, quit blushing. That's lame. 469 00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:16,100 Shut up. I'm not blushing. 470 00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:18,500 Everyone, please take a slip 471 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,300 and read off the name of your lab partner. 472 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,400 "Eunice Bates." 473 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,200 You got to be kidding me. 474 00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:32,500 - Be nice. - Yeah. 475 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,400 She got something-something. 476 00:33:34,500 --> 00:33:37,400 Yeah, asthma and headgear. 477 00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:42,000 "Olivia Lennox." 478 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,600 - You know her? - I talked to her for a second. 479 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:47,300 About what? She gave you the nod. 480 00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:49,500 - She did a good one. - She gives good nod. 481 00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:51,100 Could everybody calm down? 482 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,400 I can't believe you got her as a lab par... Switch with me. 483 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:57,200 I can't. I said her name out loud. 484 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,600 Some guys just walk in the light, you know? 485 00:34:03,700 --> 00:34:05,700 - Hello, again. - Hello. 486 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,900 I don't think we introduced ourselves before. I'm Sebastian. 487 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,000 Olivia. 488 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:22,000 I'm gonna be the best lab partner you ever had. 489 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,800 Cool. 490 00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:27,100 I gotta be completely honest. 491 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,800 The whole dissecting thing kind of freaks me out. 492 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,700 So, think you may have to take the reins on this one. 493 00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:36,500 Wow. Most guys would never admit that. 494 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:37,900 Oh, crap, you're right. 495 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,300 No, don't worry. I think it's refreshing. 496 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:43,000 - You do? - No paper near the Bunsen burner. 497 00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:46,600 - Wait. - What's this? Poems? 498 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,900 Lyrics. They're his... 499 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,500 My... my old stuff. 500 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,900 "Wake up, I've been waiting for you." 501 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,800 Those are really good. So honest. 502 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:08,200 I know. I keep telling him... me... meself... my... myself... 503 00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:10,200 I write songs too, Olivia. 504 00:35:10,300 --> 00:35:12,300 - Really? Wonderful. - Check it out. 505 00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:26,800 You, you sit. 506 00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:30,700 You, go. Go! 507 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,000 - Did you say anything about me? - No. Was I supposed to? 508 00:35:34,100 --> 00:35:36,200 Come on. This is perfect. 509 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,400 You get to spend an hour with her every other day. 510 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:41,600 You can convince her to go out with me. 511 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,200 She had that option for three and a half years. 512 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,200 I'll tell you what. You do this, I'll work with you on your soccer. 513 00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:50,800 I'll make you good enough to make first string. 514 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,100 - By the Cornwall game? - Absolutely. 515 00:35:53,300 --> 00:35:55,800 OK, yeah. You got a deal. 516 00:35:55,900 --> 00:35:58,700 - You're the man. - Yes, I am. 517 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,700 Right. 518 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,000 Oh, for the love of God! It burns! 519 00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,700 It just isn't fair, Malvolio. 520 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,400 I wait three years for Olivia, and then some transfer student comes in 521 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,100 and suddenly she's acting like some... 522 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,600 ...obsessed, love-struck teenager. 523 00:38:09,700 --> 00:38:12,400 I'm not gonna take that lying down, Malvolio! 524 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,400 Yeah, I know. I know. 525 00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:18,100 You're absolutely right. 526 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,600 I'll do some digging, I'll find out what it is, 527 00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:24,000 and I'll nip his chances with Olivia right in the bud. 528 00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:29,200 What's that? Oh, yeah, sure. A walk. Sorry. Come on. 529 00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:32,300 You are so smart. 530 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,000 Hello. 531 00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:35,900 - Miss me? - What's going on? 532 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,500 What's wrong with your voice? 533 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,000 I just have a little bit of a cold. 534 00:38:40,100 --> 00:38:42,900 So... I'm still a little phlegmy. 535 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,300 - Call my school? - Yeah. 536 00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:47,700 It's all taken care of. Just make sure you're back by the 12th. 537 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,800 It was so cool, Vi. 538 00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:52,800 We went on a couple days early, and the crowd flipped for us. 539 00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:56,200 They wanted an encore, so we did one of my songs acoustically. 540 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:59,200 - They went nuts for my lyrics. - Oh, that's so cool. 541 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,200 And you were right about Monique. 542 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:02,800 She's history. 543 00:39:02,900 --> 00:39:06,200 - She really is, isn't she? - I got to go. I'll talk to you later. 544 00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:08,900 OK. Bye. 545 00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:11,700 Trouble with your wig, Hastings? 546 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,600 No, I actually... I have a scalp condition. 547 00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:16,300 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do. 548 00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:19,000 I really do. It's really acting up during the... 549 00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:21,300 No, you don't. 550 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:23,700 You've got male pattern baldness. 551 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,800 Scoot over, kiddo. 552 00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:28,000 I don't know if you've realized, 553 00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:30,500 but recently I've started to thin out myself. 554 00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:33,200 I've tried all the creams and the butters, 555 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,500 and I still can't seem to stop Mother Nature's vindictive fury, 556 00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:39,000 and neither can you. 557 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,700 There's gonna be a time when you'll have to come out 558 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,500 of the closet and just accept yourself for who you are. 559 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,100 A baldy. OK? 560 00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:48,500 But it's gonna be all right. OK? 561 00:39:48,700 --> 00:39:52,300 Oh, and between you and me, chicks dig it. 562 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,000 Hang ten. Yeah. 563 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,700 Hi, Olivia. I don't want you to be worried, but Malvolio's missing. 564 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,100 - Oh, no! - Yeah. 565 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,200 If you see him, don't feed him. He has an irritable bowel. 566 00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:08,800 Yeah. 'Cause that would be my very first instinct. 567 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,800 To feed the tarantula. 568 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:20,600 Here's a wild idea. 569 00:40:20,700 --> 00:40:23,800 Have you ever thought about going out with Duke Orsino? 570 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,500 I see that. 571 00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:28,200 - Duke? - Yeah. 572 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,400 - No. - Yeah. 573 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:30,700 - No. - Yeah. 574 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,700 - Yeah? - No! 575 00:40:32,900 --> 00:40:35,200 I mean, he's good-looking and everything, 576 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,200 but he's just not the guy for me. 577 00:40:38,300 --> 00:40:40,000 I don't know. 578 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,700 Think there may be more to him than you think there is. 579 00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:45,700 So you're telling me he's not just another dumb jock 580 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,100 who wants to hook up with me so he could tell his friends, but too? 581 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,800 - Insecure to treat you as an equal? - Exactly. 582 00:40:52,900 --> 00:40:54,000 Tell me about it. 583 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,500 You're the first guy at school who hasn't tried anything with me. 584 00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,400 Trust me, you're not my type. 585 00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:02,800 Well, why not? 586 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,900 You know, it's just... 587 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,300 ...I don't think of you in that way. 588 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:12,900 We're friends, you know. 589 00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:15,300 You're actually one of the few people here 590 00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,900 that I feel comfortable around. 591 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,300 I feel the same way about you. 592 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,700 Good. Then just take my advice. 593 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,800 Go out with Duke. 594 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,700 I'll consider it. 595 00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:33,700 So, what is that exactly? 596 00:41:33,900 --> 00:41:36,000 I think that's the spleen. 597 00:41:40,700 --> 00:41:43,200 OK, who's your daddy? 598 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,900 I got her to agree to consider you. You're halfway in. 599 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,500 All right, OK. So should I ask her out? 600 00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:53,500 No. You don't want to freak her out. 601 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,100 You got to have a casual conversation first. Hello. 602 00:42:00,900 --> 00:42:04,200 Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often? 603 00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:07,900 Man, I just... I'm not really good at talking to girls. 604 00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:10,200 - Why? You're hot! - What? 605 00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:12,700 You know, you're an appealing guy... 606 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,700 Man... guy... guy-man. 607 00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:19,000 Look, I don't know. I just always say the wrong... 608 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,000 I just always say the wrong thing. 609 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,600 OK. All right. Come on. Let's get up. 610 00:42:24,700 --> 00:42:28,700 I want to try something. I'll act like a girl, and you're going to talk to me. 611 00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:30,700 Do I have to? 612 00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:33,700 Yes! Because I'm Viola. 613 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,900 - Duke? Nice to meet you. - That was creepy. 614 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,200 You really just sounded like a girl just then. 615 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,300 I used to imitate my sister all the time. 616 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,900 I got really good at it. Come on. And get up! 617 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,600 Come on. Ask me some questions, 618 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,900 and if the chemistry's right, things'll just start flowing. 619 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,200 - Questions about what? - Anything. Ask me if... 620 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:55,600 ...I like... 621 00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:56,700 ...cheese. 622 00:42:58,500 --> 00:43:02,700 OK. Do you like cheese? 623 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,600 Why, yes I do. My favorite's Gouda. 624 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,100 - I like Gouda too. - See? 625 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,800 - See what? - We're flowing. 626 00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:12,800 We're talking about cheese. 627 00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:14,300 So what? Flow is flow. 628 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,600 What? What's that? 629 00:43:16,700 --> 00:43:19,300 What is that?! It touched me! It touched me! 630 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,600 It's Malcolm's tarantula! Get it! 631 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,000 - You get it! - You're the guy! 632 00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:26,100 The bigger guy. 633 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,200 Sorry! 634 00:43:38,300 --> 00:43:42,200 You don't ever, ever do that girl voice again! 635 00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:44,300 - Freaked me out! - My bad. 636 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,800 Sebastian, honey, this is your mother. 637 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,800 I'm calling to remind you about the carnival tomorrow. 638 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,300 You and your sister promised you'd both be there. Bye-bye. 639 00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:01,200 Crap! Forgot about that! 640 00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:04,300 - Wait, your mom's in Junior League? - Yeah. How'd you know? 641 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,900 So is mine. I gotta go too. 642 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,500 I can't deal with this right now. I have soccer to worry about. 643 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,700 Not gonna be that bad. Olivia's gonna be there. 644 00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:16,700 It's a perfect opportunity for me to lay some groundwork. 645 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,500 Oh, Olivia's gonna be there. 646 00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:21,000 And my sister. 647 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,800 And Monique. And you. 648 00:44:23,900 --> 00:44:25,900 And my mom. 649 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,200 Great. 650 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,300 Dunk toss. 651 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:41,400 Hey, dude! 652 00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:43,700 I will cut you, man. 653 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,700 I'll tell you the truth. I never really liked carnivals. 654 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:51,800 Hey. I'm working the kissing booth. Come see me. 655 00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:55,600 I love carnivals, man. 656 00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:59,200 - Hey, Duke, where you going? - Where do you think I'm going? 657 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:04,500 - What's up? - Oh, nothing. 658 00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,400 Just my psycho ex. I don't really wanna deal with her. 659 00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:11,300 So if you guys don't mind, I'm gonna lay low for a little while. 660 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:14,600 - Cool. Catch you later. - OK. 661 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,200 Up you go! 662 00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:21,700 I see a kitten... 663 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,500 ...gasping for air. 664 00:45:27,900 --> 00:45:30,500 Sorry. Pretty urgent. 665 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,400 It's all yours. 666 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,200 Hi, Mom! 667 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,900 You look like such a lady. It's a miracle. 668 00:45:43,100 --> 00:45:45,500 - It really is. - So Monique's getting you 669 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,800 all excited about being a debutante? 670 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:51,100 Super-duper excited. Have a good carnival. 671 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,100 My little petunia. Where do you think you're going? 672 00:45:54,300 --> 00:45:56,500 You have the next shift at the kissing booth. 673 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,100 And your brother's late for the cotton candy cart. 674 00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:02,200 I'm gonna go look for him. Bye. 675 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,700 - Sorry. - Excuse you. 676 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,900 - Wait, do I know you? - No. 677 00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:13,800 Excuse me. 678 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:15,300 Viola! Hey, hey, hey. 679 00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:18,300 Where you been? I've been calling and calling. 680 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:19,900 I miss you. We need to talk. 681 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,400 We've talked, Justin. All the talking is done. 682 00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:26,200 Look, no one breaks up over a stupid soccer issue, OK? 683 00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:28,400 Can you just be a girl for five seconds? 684 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,200 For five seconds? 685 00:46:30,300 --> 00:46:34,000 OK, first of all, it's not a stupid soccer issue, 686 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,100 and you're a jerk. Oh, look at that! Time's up! 687 00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,800 Excuse me. Sorry. One, please. 688 00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:19,900 Stay in school. 689 00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:32,400 Sebastian? Sebastian! 690 00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:35,200 - Monique's behind me. - Where are you going? 691 00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:37,800 - We're on it. - Sebastian! 692 00:47:45,300 --> 00:47:48,600 Excuse me. No one over 8 years old is allowed inside the Moon Bounce. 693 00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:52,400 - I just saw my boyfriend go in there. - The correct term is "ex-boyfriend." 694 00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:55,500 No relationship is over until I say it is. Understand? 695 00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:58,200 You're still not getting on that Moon Bounce. 696 00:47:58,300 --> 00:47:59,800 Fine. 697 00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:08,400 - What's that? - Kia, don't look. 698 00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:10,800 God! 699 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,400 - She's gone. - Thank you. 700 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,400 - So are we having fun? - Oh, yeah, definitely. 701 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,100 What do you think it will be like? 702 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,000 Duke, you look at me. 703 00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,900 I know it's gonna be really, really special. 704 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,100 I mean, she's only kissed like 350 guys at this point. 705 00:48:45,300 --> 00:48:47,800 I just think we need to acknowledge the moment. 706 00:48:47,900 --> 00:48:52,200 After four years, Duke is finally gonna fulfill his destiny. 707 00:48:52,300 --> 00:48:57,400 Life is good. Life is fair. Life is just. 708 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,000 Hi, I'm your relief. 709 00:48:59,100 --> 00:49:01,300 - And yet... - Thank God. 710 00:49:01,500 --> 00:49:02,800 I can't catch a break. 711 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:07,900 Beware of the old guy chewing gum. It's not gum. 712 00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:13,000 - Do I know you? - No. 713 00:49:14,700 --> 00:49:16,200 That's just my luck. 714 00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:18,800 No. No, no, no. I mean, I didn't mean it like that. 715 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:23,000 It's just, you know, she's, you know... No. OK. 716 00:49:23,100 --> 00:49:27,000 I mean, on the other hand, you're, you know, also... 717 00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,900 - I am? Thanks, I guess. - Yeah. 718 00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:34,600 You don't have to flirt with her first, genius. You're paying for it. 719 00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:39,600 Why don't you just... relax. 720 00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:43,200 Maybe I should kiss you now. 721 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,300 I gave that girl my ticket, and I waited in line. 722 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,800 Well, it's the least I can do. 723 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,900 OK. Here I go. 724 00:50:10,300 --> 00:50:12,300 OK, I think that was one ticket's worth. 725 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,100 No, you get a little bit more. 726 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,900 Excuse me. The motel's across the street. 727 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,200 - Viola, what the hell is this?! - Back of the line, buttball. 728 00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:24,200 Excuse me, doofus. You're making out with my girlfriend. 729 00:50:24,300 --> 00:50:26,200 Ex-girlfriend. 730 00:50:26,300 --> 00:50:28,200 Whoa, you're Sebastian's sister? 731 00:50:28,300 --> 00:50:30,500 And you're about to die. 732 00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,400 Are you gonna drown me in your tears? 733 00:50:32,500 --> 00:50:34,900 I did not cry. I had something in my eye. 734 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,400 You know what, guys? Can we just dial it down? 735 00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,400 And just step away, OK? 736 00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:42,800 She's right. I'll see you on the soccer field, 737 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,300 and we'll settle this all then. 738 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,200 OK, Duke. 739 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,400 Or we can straighten it out right here. 740 00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,600 Justin! Stop it! Guys! 741 00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,200 Stop it! Justin! 742 00:50:59,300 --> 00:51:01,400 Guys! Stop it! 743 00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:08,400 Justin, get off! 744 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,100 Where's my daughter?! 745 00:51:21,300 --> 00:51:23,200 Excuse me. I'm so sorry. 746 00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:26,900 Viola! Stop! This isn't ladylike. 747 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,600 There is no room for violence here! 748 00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:34,100 This is a lovely children's carnival, goddamn it! 749 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,900 Both of you, out! Now! 750 00:51:41,700 --> 00:51:44,100 Where were you at today? You just disappeared. 751 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,300 Ran into my psycho ex. Had to bolt. 752 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,400 Oh, my God! Is that a? 753 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,500 What? Yeah. 754 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:56,700 I hope you don't mind. I kind of borrowed one of your... 755 00:51:56,900 --> 00:52:00,100 Yeah. And you're right, by the way. These things actually work. 756 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,300 Oh, my God, you're bleeding. Are you OK? 757 00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:08,200 I mean, suck it up! Be a man! Rub some dirt in it! 758 00:52:08,300 --> 00:52:11,400 OK, I'll rub some dirt on it. 759 00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,900 So, what happened? 760 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,000 I got into it with your sister's ex. 761 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,600 Wait. Really? Why? 762 00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:25,600 He saw me and her kind of making out at the kissing booth. 763 00:52:25,700 --> 00:52:28,500 Wait. You kissed her? 764 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,200 Yeah, man, I'm... I hope that's OK. 765 00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:33,300 It was for charity. 766 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,400 Oh, no, I mean, dude, I mean, 767 00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:40,300 if you want to kiss her, you go right ahead and you kiss her! 768 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:41,800 I mean, knock yourself out. 769 00:52:41,900 --> 00:52:45,400 I mean, you just... you take her and then kiss her 770 00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:47,000 and kiss the crap out of her! 771 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,600 OK. 772 00:52:53,700 --> 00:52:56,000 So... 773 00:52:56,100 --> 00:52:57,500 ...do you like her? 774 00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,900 I don't know. Can we not talk about this? 775 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,200 She's your sister. It's kind of weird. 776 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,500 No. Right. Right. 777 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:10,300 Just... You know, I was just thinking that, 778 00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,000 if you liked her then... 779 00:53:13,100 --> 00:53:15,500 ...maybe you should ask her out. 780 00:53:15,700 --> 00:53:19,000 And just, I don't know, forget about Olivia? 781 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,800 Well, I mean, speaking as a completely objective 782 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:28,500 third-party outsider with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, 783 00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:32,400 I am not sure that you and Olivia 784 00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,400 really mesh well together. You know? I mean... 785 00:53:35,500 --> 00:53:38,700 But you and Viola... 786 00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,000 ...I mean... 787 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:42,500 ...be magic. 788 00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,200 I don't know. 789 00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,900 What does your heart tell you? 790 00:53:47,100 --> 00:53:50,100 I mean, which one would you rather see naked?! 791 00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:53,200 Why do you? Why? Why do you always do that? 792 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,400 Why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms? 793 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,400 You know what? You... you have issues. 794 00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:04,300 You're a really sensitive guy, aren't you? 795 00:54:04,500 --> 00:54:07,800 What? No. No, it's just... 796 00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:11,800 I don't know. I just think that 797 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:16,200 relationships should be more than just the physical stuff. 798 00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:18,800 Don't get me wrong, that stuff's important, 799 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,800 but when I'm with someone, 800 00:54:20,900 --> 00:54:24,500 I want to be able to talk about other stuff. 801 00:54:24,700 --> 00:54:27,700 Like, I don't know, serious stuff. 802 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,600 Stuff I can't talk about, you know, with anyone else. 803 00:54:34,500 --> 00:54:36,600 Yeah, like... 804 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,400 ...what kind of stuff? 805 00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,700 I don't know, just stuff. 806 00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,200 Like, whatever stuff there is. 807 00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:49,800 Like... this kind of stuff? 808 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,300 Yeah. 809 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:56,000 But what I just told you is for your ears only. 810 00:54:56,200 --> 00:55:00,000 If you tell anyone, I'll kick your ass. 811 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,500 Yeah. No. 812 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,800 I got your back, man. 813 00:55:08,900 --> 00:55:11,900 It's cool. 814 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,100 How's your sister? 815 00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,500 Good. Why? 816 00:56:34,500 --> 00:56:36,500 I don't know. 817 00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:39,800 I kind of was thinking I might ask if she wanted 818 00:56:39,900 --> 00:56:41,900 to grab dinner at Cesario's tonight. 819 00:56:42,100 --> 00:56:45,700 You were? Really? I'd love to. 820 00:56:45,900 --> 00:56:46,800 What? 821 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,300 I'd love to give her your phone number. 822 00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,300 Hastings! 823 00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:52,800 Yeah, coach? 824 00:56:54,500 --> 00:56:56,800 You're first string for the Cornwall game. 825 00:56:56,900 --> 00:56:58,000 - Really? - No. 826 00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:01,000 I was joking, you idiot. 827 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,200 Dude, that's awesome. 828 00:57:09,500 --> 00:57:11,100 Dude. 829 00:57:13,900 --> 00:57:16,800 - So, you want me to spot you? - No. 830 00:57:16,900 --> 00:57:19,900 - Isn't he cute? - Duke? Yeah. 831 00:57:20,100 --> 00:57:23,200 No. Sebastian. He's so cool. 832 00:57:25,100 --> 00:57:26,600 But he said I'm not his type. 833 00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:29,300 - Impossible. You're everyone's type. - Not his. 834 00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:33,400 I could tell you what us mere mortals would do in this situation. 835 00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:35,800 - What? - Make him jealous. 836 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,000 So, what do you do? You just pretend to like somebody else? 837 00:57:39,100 --> 00:57:42,000 And then use him shamelessly. 838 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:43,800 Wow. 839 00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,300 So, you should call Viola up. 840 00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:52,300 Yeah. I think I will. 841 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:55,600 Hey, Duke. 842 00:57:55,700 --> 00:57:59,000 - Sebastian. - Olivia. 843 00:57:59,100 --> 00:58:00,400 Olivia. 844 00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,800 What're you bench-pressing these days? 845 00:58:02,900 --> 00:58:06,100 225. Very impressive. 846 00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:07,800 Thanks. 847 00:58:07,900 --> 00:58:11,100 So, Duke, about that call that you were gonna make. 848 00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:13,500 - You gonna make that? - Yeah. Thank you. 849 00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,300 So how many reps can you do with that 225? 850 00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,600 Like 20... 20. 851 00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,900 225 is more than twice what I weigh. 852 00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:25,100 How many reps could you do with me? 853 00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:28,400 Forty. 854 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:35,900 Hello? 855 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,200 Hi, it's Viola. 856 00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,300 Sebastian told me to call you. 857 00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:43,600 - I'd love to go to dinner. - Yeah. What? 858 00:58:43,700 --> 00:58:46,400 Can I call you back? 859 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:49,300 Because I gotta... 860 00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:51,800 ...change my feet. 861 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:55,500 So, do you have any plans tonight? 862 00:58:57,900 --> 00:58:59,000 My bad. 863 00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,900 What about the thing that we talked about that you were going to do later? 864 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:04,600 What thing? I'm thingless. 865 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:08,500 Great! Then it's a date. Cesario's, 8:00. 866 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:10,400 - I'll see you there. - OK. 867 00:59:11,900 --> 00:59:14,000 - Bye, Sebastian. - Later. 868 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:18,700 Yeah! 869 00:59:19,900 --> 00:59:21,100 You did it. 870 00:59:21,300 --> 00:59:23,500 I'm goin' out with Olivia. 871 00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,100 What the hell?! I thought you liked Viola now! 872 00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,100 Dude, come on. You're a guy. 873 00:59:29,300 --> 00:59:33,000 What would you do if the hottest girl in the school 874 00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:37,600 came up to you and asked you on a date? 875 00:59:37,700 --> 00:59:39,200 I'll be right back. 876 00:59:39,300 --> 00:59:42,500 Olivia? Hi. Can I talk to you for a second? 877 00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:44,500 Moi? Whatever for? 878 00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:46,300 It's about your date with Duke. 879 00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:50,800 I know! I am so glad I listened to you. You're right. He's awesome. 880 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:55,000 And he looked so good in those shorts. 881 00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,500 He's not a piece of meat, Olivia. 882 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:02,500 He's a man. A man with feelings. 883 01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,000 And I'm a woman with feelings. 884 01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,000 And my feelings seem to match his. 885 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,500 You know what? 886 01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:14,100 Speaking as a completely objective third-party observer 887 01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:17,000 with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, 888 01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:21,000 I'm not so sure that you and Duke are a good idea after all. 889 01:00:21,100 --> 01:00:22,800 Well, thank you for your concern. 890 01:00:22,900 --> 01:00:26,600 And if you're so worried, maybe you should come to Cesario's tonight, 891 01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:30,700 just to keep an eye on me. We could double. 892 01:00:30,900 --> 01:00:33,000 I bet Eunice is available. 893 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:38,300 I'm so there, it's insane. 894 01:00:50,500 --> 01:00:54,500 So do you like... cheese? 895 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:02,800 - Hey, you two, what's going on? - You're here... 896 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,200 ...with Eunice. 897 01:01:05,300 --> 01:01:06,300 Mind if we join? 898 01:01:06,500 --> 01:01:08,000 - No. Sit down. - No, no, no. 899 01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,300 Lady pterodactyl. 900 01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,700 Waiter! 901 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,100 Help. 902 01:01:19,700 --> 01:01:21,000 So... 903 01:01:21,100 --> 01:01:23,500 ...I was just telling Duke how great it is 904 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,100 to meet a real man at this school. 905 01:01:26,300 --> 01:01:28,200 You were? 906 01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:30,400 Well, I was just about to. 907 01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:32,900 Isn't it great to have a real man around, Eunice? 908 01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,500 Oh, yes. 909 01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:38,100 A real man is difficult to find. 910 01:01:41,300 --> 01:01:42,800 So difficult. 911 01:01:42,900 --> 01:01:46,800 Sebastian's with Eunice. She must be hotter than I thought. 912 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,800 How come when I wanted to ask out Eunice everyone made fun? 913 01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,100 Sebastian likes her, suddenly she's cool? 914 01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:54,000 Screw you guys. I hate high school. 915 01:01:55,900 --> 01:01:58,800 Eunice! Hands! 916 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:02,300 You know what? This has been real fun, but I have to go... 917 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,600 ...shave. 918 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:08,000 OK. 919 01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:13,600 Well, this has been lovely. Let's do it again sometime. 920 01:02:13,700 --> 01:02:17,100 - What? - Soon. Bye. 921 01:02:19,100 --> 01:02:21,000 So... 922 01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:24,600 ...do you like cheese? 923 01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:29,300 More than almost any other animal byproduct. 924 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,900 Yeah, check please. 925 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,500 Hey Monique, it's Sebastian. 926 01:02:33,700 --> 01:02:35,900 I don't know if Viola told you I'm in London, 927 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,200 but I'm heading home a day early. 928 01:02:38,300 --> 01:02:40,900 Listen, I've been thinking, 929 01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:44,500 and we really need to talk. 930 01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:44,700 Ladies... 931 01:02:44,700 --> 01:02:46,500 Ladies... 932 01:02:46,700 --> 01:02:48,300 Ladies. 933 01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:50,800 Welcome. 934 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:54,900 My name is Cheryl Lancaster, president of the Stratford Junior League 935 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:58,500 and coordinator of this year's debutante season. 936 01:02:58,600 --> 01:02:59,900 Oh, please. 937 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,800 Thank you. Today we're gonna go over the guidelines 938 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:08,100 for a graceful, ladylike entr�e into society. 939 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,600 Son of a... 940 01:03:13,300 --> 01:03:14,600 Hello. 941 01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:17,100 Hello there. 942 01:03:21,900 --> 01:03:23,700 - Hi. - Make sure she's in the back 943 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:24,900 for the group photo. 944 01:03:25,100 --> 01:03:28,300 Thank you for joining us, Viola. 945 01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:31,400 Now, who's ready to come out? 946 01:03:31,500 --> 01:03:32,600 Kill me. 947 01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,700 Viola? Darling. 948 01:03:53,900 --> 01:03:57,800 Remember, chew like you have a secret. 949 01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:07,800 Excuse me. 950 01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:11,700 Ladies. 951 01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:27,200 - Hi. - Hey. 952 01:04:27,300 --> 01:04:30,700 Hey! You're the one that saved me in the kissing booth that one time? 953 01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:33,300 - Hi. - Hi. 954 01:04:33,500 --> 01:04:36,400 Oh, what a small world. I'm Viola. 955 01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:37,700 Olivia. 956 01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:39,800 - Nice to meet you. - You too. 957 01:04:43,900 --> 01:04:45,900 So... 958 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:47,700 I know it's none of my business, 959 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,300 but you went out with that Duke Orsino guy, right? 960 01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,800 Yeah. Once. 961 01:04:53,900 --> 01:04:56,200 - Did you kiss him? - No, why? 962 01:04:56,300 --> 01:04:59,700 Oh, no. It's nothing, but... 963 01:04:59,900 --> 01:05:02,400 Just try to postpone it as long as possible. 964 01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:06,300 He has this salivary gland condition. 965 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:10,500 Yeah. He doesn't really like to talk about it, 966 01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:12,800 but it felt like I was drowning. 967 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,300 Really? 968 01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:18,800 - Oh, my God. - I know. It was repulsive. 969 01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,800 But, hey, every happiness to you both. 970 01:05:21,900 --> 01:05:26,200 No, actually, I don't really like Duke. 971 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:31,100 I have this huge thing for his roommate, Sebastian. 972 01:05:31,300 --> 01:05:35,200 And I was just trying to make Sebastian jealous. 973 01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:43,900 Oh, boy. 974 01:05:44,100 --> 01:05:47,200 Yeah, I know it's really wrong to use a person this way, 975 01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:49,900 and I feel really terrible about it. 976 01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:52,100 But I really, really like Sebastian. 977 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:54,000 He's so handsome, 978 01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:56,600 not the goonish handsome you see in a lot of guys. 979 01:05:56,700 --> 01:06:01,000 He's a delicate, like, even refined handsome, you know? 980 01:06:01,100 --> 01:06:06,100 Oh, and when he smiles, I just can't stop looking at him. 981 01:06:06,300 --> 01:06:09,300 He's just so wonderful. 982 01:06:09,500 --> 01:06:12,000 You know, Olivia... 983 01:06:12,100 --> 01:06:13,600 - It's Olivia, right? - Yeah. 984 01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:17,000 I'm gonna give you just a little advice. 985 01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:19,000 - OK. - Enough is enough! 986 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:23,000 You are weaving a really tangled web. 987 01:06:23,100 --> 01:06:24,600 Like really, really tangled. 988 01:06:24,700 --> 01:06:27,900 And, honey... you got to stop! 989 01:06:28,100 --> 01:06:30,700 OK? So you just gotta tell everybody the truth. 990 01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,200 Be very, very honest. 991 01:06:32,300 --> 01:06:35,700 Just let the chips fall where they may. 992 01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:37,100 - You're right. - I know. 993 01:06:37,300 --> 01:06:40,000 The next time I see Sebastian I'll march right up to him. 994 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,200 - You march! - And I'll tell him how I feel. 995 01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:43,500 You tell him. 996 01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:45,600 Then I'll kiss him so passionately, 997 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:49,000 that even the people he hates will feel pleasure. 998 01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:52,500 Hello, Viola. 999 01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:54,500 Oh, this is not good. 1000 01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:57,300 And hello to you, you little homewrecker. 1001 01:06:57,500 --> 01:07:01,200 - Who are you? - I am Sebastian's girlfriend. 1002 01:07:01,300 --> 01:07:02,800 Ex-girlfriend. 1003 01:07:02,900 --> 01:07:05,100 OK, everybody's got to stop saying that. 1004 01:07:05,300 --> 01:07:08,300 You were the one he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day. 1005 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,100 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He did not dump me. 1006 01:07:11,300 --> 01:07:13,900 We're just going through a little bit of a rough patch. 1007 01:07:14,100 --> 01:07:17,200 I heard he dumped you. He dumped you big. 1008 01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:20,700 It was just like a big, huge dumping. 1009 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,900 Are you crazy?! Are you OK? 1010 01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:33,700 Get out! 1011 01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,000 You are messing with the wrong man! 1012 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:47,600 Get off me! Get off of me! 1013 01:08:14,100 --> 01:08:15,500 - Get off of her! - Let go of me! 1014 01:08:15,700 --> 01:08:18,900 Ladies! Ladies, stop! 1015 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,700 Please! 1016 01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:28,500 When debutantes disagree they say it with their eyes. 1017 01:08:30,300 --> 01:08:31,900 Well, Hastings. 1018 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:35,600 Why is it that I always find you in the middle of a tussle? 1019 01:08:37,300 --> 01:08:39,000 Bad timing? 1020 01:08:39,100 --> 01:08:41,200 I am convinced he's hiding something. 1021 01:08:41,300 --> 01:08:45,000 Nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, 1022 01:08:45,100 --> 01:08:49,200 but deep down he's an all-American, red-blooded male. 1023 01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:51,500 - Just like yourself. - Mom, I will pick out 1024 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,300 my own dress. And no, I will not wear heels. 1025 01:08:54,500 --> 01:08:57,100 Because heels are a male invention 1026 01:08:57,300 --> 01:09:00,500 designed to make a woman's butt look smaller. 1027 01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:03,400 And to make it harder for them to run away. 1028 01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:12,900 Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels? 1029 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:16,100 - No, sir, I wouldn't... - Not that easy. Not that easy. 1030 01:09:27,900 --> 01:09:30,600 Don't forget your guitar, Mr. Hastings. 1031 01:09:30,700 --> 01:09:34,500 Just do it. Just close your eyes and kiss him. 1032 01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,600 Sebastian. 1033 01:09:46,700 --> 01:09:49,300 "Wake up. I've been waiting for you to open your eyes 1034 01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:51,100 so I can tell you I think I'm ready. 1035 01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:54,000 I'm ready to free-fall into the unknown." 1036 01:09:54,100 --> 01:09:56,600 I'll see you at the game tomorrow. 1037 01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:04,600 I think I'm gonna like this school. 1038 01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,500 Monique, it's Sebastian. 1039 01:10:13,700 --> 01:10:15,900 I don't know if Viola told you I'm in London, 1040 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,100 but I'm heading home a day early. 1041 01:10:18,300 --> 01:10:21,700 Listen, I've been thinking. We really need to talk. 1042 01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:24,800 London? 1043 01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:31,200 Hey, brother. Dinklage was looking for you, man. 1044 01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:36,400 Dude. Hello! 1045 01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:39,500 You know, it's... crazy 1046 01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:42,400 how wrong you can be about a person. 1047 01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:45,700 It's crazy. 1048 01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:48,300 You think they're one thing, 1049 01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:51,900 and then they turn out to be the exact opposite. 1050 01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,900 - What are you talking about? - You're gonna sit there 1051 01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:56,900 and act like you don't know what I'm talking about? 1052 01:10:56,900 --> 01:10:57,500 and act like you don't know what I'm talking about? 1053 01:11:00,900 --> 01:11:02,700 OK. 1054 01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:05,500 All right. OK. 1055 01:11:07,500 --> 01:11:10,000 I wanted to tell you, Duke, but... 1056 01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:12,200 ...you have to know... 1057 01:11:12,300 --> 01:11:15,300 ...I love soccer more than anything else in the world, 1058 01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:16,800 and I had a point to prove. 1059 01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,400 What?! So you're telling me that you used me 1060 01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:20,900 to help you with soccer, 1061 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,300 and then you turn around and stab me in the back? 1062 01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:26,800 Wait, what? Now I really don't know what you're talking about. 1063 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,100 Save it, man. I saw you with her. 1064 01:11:29,200 --> 01:11:32,100 - With who?! - Who?! Olivia, that's who! 1065 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,800 - You kissed when you got out the cab! - What cab?! 1066 01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,300 - We were supposed to be friends! - We are! 1067 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:41,500 - You don't know the meaning! - Olivia never liked you, OK?! 1068 01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:44,300 She was just using you to make me jealous. 1069 01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:46,400 But Viola, she's crazy about you, 1070 01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:49,000 since the first moment that you kissed her. 1071 01:11:49,100 --> 01:11:52,500 I bet that's part of your plan. Distract me so you can move in to Olivia. 1072 01:11:52,700 --> 01:11:56,700 - That is not what happened! - You and your sister have a good life! 1073 01:12:00,500 --> 01:12:03,400 "The Hastings twins couldn't be more opposite." 1074 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:06,400 - Twins? - Sebastian? 1075 01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:09,100 Sebastian? 1076 01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,000 Sebastian, open up! 1077 01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,800 It's Monique! You have got a lot of explaining to do, 1078 01:12:13,900 --> 01:12:16,400 followed by a very long night of groveling! 1079 01:12:16,500 --> 01:12:18,700 He's not here! 1080 01:12:21,300 --> 01:12:25,500 Take his stupid cell phone. Justine calls every ten seconds. 1081 01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:30,900 This isn't Sebastian's phone. 1082 01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:34,700 God! Sebastian! 1083 01:12:34,900 --> 01:12:37,600 - Sebastian! - Can I help you? 1084 01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:42,900 - Hello? - Viola. Hey, baby. 1085 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,700 It's Justin. You know, the big game is tomorrow and... 1086 01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,800 Viola. 1087 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:50,500 Allow me to introduce myself. 1088 01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:54,600 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007... 1089 01:12:54,800 --> 01:12:58,200 Nice night...2008. 1090 01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,500 Hey, Eunice. 1091 01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:04,300 Sorry about running out on our date. 1092 01:13:04,500 --> 01:13:09,200 That's OK. My intensity scares some people. 1093 01:13:09,300 --> 01:13:11,300 Yeah. 1094 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:13,700 Is something wrong? 1095 01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:16,500 Got thrown out of my room. 1096 01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:20,500 You mean... you need a place to sleep? 1097 01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:24,700 I really do. The Cornwall game is tomorrow. 1098 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:27,800 I've never had a roommate before. 1099 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:42,700 Wow. Vi, you set up all my stuff. 1100 01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:44,800 Thanks. 1101 01:14:06,900 --> 01:14:11,400 - You're absolutely certain about this? - Yes, sir, we are. 1102 01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:15,500 - Dude, what are you doing?! - Sebastian, the game's about to start! 1103 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:18,500 Get out of bed and get over to the soccer field, man! 1104 01:14:20,500 --> 01:14:22,500 The soccer game? 1105 01:14:23,500 --> 01:14:25,600 That's what that girl was talking about. 1106 01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:30,900 Sebastian! You're next. Hurry up. 1107 01:14:31,100 --> 01:14:33,100 Come over here, and I'll do you. 1108 01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:40,300 OK, ladies, listen up. 1109 01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:41,700 Where's Hastings? 1110 01:14:48,500 --> 01:14:49,500 Euni... 1111 01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:51,700 Eunice! Why didn't you wake me?! 1112 01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:54,300 You looked so serene. 1113 01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:58,300 I made breakfast, darling. 1114 01:15:07,100 --> 01:15:10,000 Pardon me. Pardon me. 1115 01:15:15,300 --> 01:15:19,300 What is the big emergency? I canceled my squash game for this. 1116 01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:21,900 I don't know. All that Principal Gold said 1117 01:15:22,100 --> 01:15:25,600 was that we were needed at Sebastian's soccer game. 1118 01:15:30,100 --> 01:15:33,200 Hasn't Viola said anything to you the past couple of weeks? 1119 01:15:33,300 --> 01:15:35,400 How should I know? 1120 01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:38,600 She's been living with you. 1121 01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:41,700 Hasn't she? 1122 01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,500 - Excuse me. - This is so exciting, guys. 1123 01:16:09,100 --> 01:16:11,000 Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. 1124 01:16:11,100 --> 01:16:13,500 The biggest rivalry in our district is afoot. 1125 01:16:13,700 --> 01:16:15,000 Illyria versus Cornwall. 1126 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:18,100 It's gonna be something else, and the atmosphere is crazy! 1127 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,400 Afternoon, gentlemen. 1128 01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:26,500 Handshake, please. 1129 01:16:31,100 --> 01:16:33,000 All right, your call. 1130 01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:35,700 Heads. 1131 01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:38,200 Heads it is. 1132 01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:40,300 We'll stay as we are. 1133 01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:43,000 Good game, gentlemen. 1134 01:16:43,100 --> 01:16:45,100 How's your jaw? 1135 01:16:52,500 --> 01:16:54,800 All right, let's get it on! 1136 01:16:54,900 --> 01:16:56,100 Way to go, boys. 1137 01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,500 Listen to me. We can do this. Today is the day 1138 01:16:58,700 --> 01:17:00,500 - Cornwall beats Illyria. - Yeah! 1139 01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:02,300 I ain't got much to say to you. 1140 01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:06,000 - Who's gonna bring blood and pain?! - Black and red! 1141 01:17:06,100 --> 01:17:08,600 - This ain't no game. This is a war! - Yeah! 1142 01:17:08,700 --> 01:17:10,900 Who's gonna bring that blood and pain?! 1143 01:17:11,100 --> 01:17:14,200 One, two, three! Cornwall! 1144 01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:21,100 All right, boys, here we go! 1145 01:17:31,100 --> 01:17:35,400 Hastings! Pass it off! Pass it off! Hastings! 1146 01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:37,600 What in the hell is going on?! 1147 01:17:37,700 --> 01:17:39,500 Nice move, moron. 1148 01:17:42,800 --> 01:17:44,700 What? 1149 01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:47,000 This can't be happening. 1150 01:17:57,400 --> 01:18:00,000 Sebastian? 1151 01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:07,500 Get the ball! Get the ball! 1152 01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,500 Get up, get back in there! Get the ball! 1153 01:18:09,700 --> 01:18:11,300 Oh, my God, this is my game! 1154 01:18:11,500 --> 01:18:13,600 What the hell am I doing? This isn't fun. 1155 01:18:13,700 --> 01:18:15,400 You look like Bambi on ice, boy! 1156 01:18:15,500 --> 01:18:17,100 Sebastian! 1157 01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:19,800 Sebastian! 1158 01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:28,800 Can I get a timeout, please? A pause? One brief halftime? 1159 01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:31,500 Stopping the clock. That's it. Stop the clock. 1160 01:18:31,600 --> 01:18:33,200 What the? 1161 01:18:33,300 --> 01:18:35,500 I don't know the technical lingo. 1162 01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:38,200 Armadillos. Fighting Armadillos, please. 1163 01:18:38,300 --> 01:18:40,100 I need... Gather around. 1164 01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:42,400 I played soccer as a young man. Was it chess? 1165 01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:46,300 - Is there a problem, principal? - Yes. Unfortunately there is. 1166 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:51,400 But I think it's only right that Sebastian Hastings tell you himself. 1167 01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:55,000 Sebastian? Son? Or... 1168 01:18:55,200 --> 01:18:57,600 Do you have anything you'd like to say? 1169 01:19:00,700 --> 01:19:03,600 I'm sorry I'm not a very good soccer player. 1170 01:19:05,400 --> 01:19:07,000 I see. 1171 01:19:07,100 --> 01:19:11,100 Well then, please know that what I say, 1172 01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:13,600 I say with a heavy heart. 1173 01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,700 Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed alumni, 1174 01:19:20,900 --> 01:19:23,100 friends and family of Sebastian Hastings, 1175 01:19:23,300 --> 01:19:25,200 I am grievously sad... 1176 01:19:25,400 --> 01:19:29,100 ...to inform you that Sebastian Hastings 1177 01:19:29,200 --> 01:19:31,500 is... a girl. 1178 01:19:32,900 --> 01:19:35,900 Sorry, it's for your own good. You'll thank me for it someday. 1179 01:19:36,100 --> 01:19:37,300 Oh, OK. Certainly. Yes. 1180 01:19:37,400 --> 01:19:41,300 Excuse me. I'm not a girl. 1181 01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:42,700 Hello! Yes. 1182 01:19:42,800 --> 01:19:44,700 In fact, yes, he is. He's a big girl. 1183 01:19:44,900 --> 01:19:47,600 He's actually specifically his own sister, Viola, 1184 01:19:47,700 --> 01:19:51,700 who's been impersonating him for reasons which will become very clear 1185 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,700 after extensive psychoanalysis. 1186 01:19:53,900 --> 01:19:56,200 Folks. 1187 01:19:56,300 --> 01:19:59,300 I'm a boy. I promise. 1188 01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:02,900 - Prove it. - OK. 1189 01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:06,600 God! I saw it. 1190 01:20:06,700 --> 01:20:09,200 Nice work, Paul. Wow. 1191 01:20:09,300 --> 01:20:11,000 That's my boy. 1192 01:20:11,200 --> 01:20:12,700 Kevin, close your eyes. 1193 01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:15,300 Soccer is the world's favorite sport. 1194 01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:16,900 Thank you. Thank you. 1195 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:19,800 Nothing to see here. No offense. 1196 01:20:19,900 --> 01:20:22,500 Folks, please, hang on for one second. 1197 01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:25,000 Just talk amongst yourselves for a second. 1198 01:20:26,300 --> 01:20:28,700 Malcolm! 1199 01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:32,700 Can you shed some light on the current situation? 1200 01:20:34,600 --> 01:20:38,100 Not any more than has already been shed, sir. 1201 01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:40,800 OK, lads, listen up now. 1202 01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:44,200 Now that we've established this boy... 1203 01:20:44,300 --> 01:20:45,900 ...is a boy... 1204 01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,400 ...is it possible we can get back to our game? 1205 01:20:50,900 --> 01:20:54,200 Yes. Enjoy. That was a skit we... 1206 01:20:54,400 --> 01:20:55,800 OK. Yes. 1207 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:57,500 Let's get to it, guys. Come on. 1208 01:20:57,600 --> 01:21:00,100 - I know, let's play. - Waste of time. 1209 01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:05,400 Baby. Baby, baby, baby. I have missed you so much. 1210 01:21:05,500 --> 01:21:07,300 Oh, my God, we are both so dead. 1211 01:21:07,500 --> 01:21:11,300 We're over, Monique. Done. 1212 01:21:12,700 --> 01:21:15,400 God! Not again! 1213 01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:23,100 Good work, Hastings. 1214 01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:24,400 Bench. 1215 01:21:38,300 --> 01:21:39,600 Good one! 1216 01:21:42,400 --> 01:21:43,800 Halftime, gentlemen. 1217 01:22:04,700 --> 01:22:06,300 Sebastian! 1218 01:22:06,500 --> 01:22:08,000 - Vi? - Yes. 1219 01:22:08,100 --> 01:22:09,300 Why do you look like me?! 1220 01:22:09,500 --> 01:22:11,300 I pretended to be you the last two weeks 1221 01:22:11,500 --> 01:22:13,700 to prove I could play in the boys soccer team. 1222 01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:15,800 - Yes. - OK. OK, cool. 1223 01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:18,300 - No, wait! What?! - I don't have time to explain! 1224 01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:20,300 Why are you wearing my uniform? 1225 01:22:20,400 --> 01:22:22,800 I came to find the girl that kissed me last night. 1226 01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:26,400 - Who kissed you? What girl? - Check it out. That one. 1227 01:22:26,500 --> 01:22:28,300 Olivia? 1228 01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:31,500 She was all over me. She kissed me and recited my own lyrics. 1229 01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,000 Vi, this may be the girl of my dreams. 1230 01:22:34,100 --> 01:22:35,800 That's the kiss that Duke saw. 1231 01:22:35,900 --> 01:22:37,100 Wait, are those real? 1232 01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,800 Yeah. I'm growing sideburns. 1233 01:22:38,900 --> 01:22:41,300 No! Please stay hidden until the end of the game. 1234 01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:44,000 And give me my uniform back right now! 1235 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:54,300 We start the second half. 1236 01:22:54,500 --> 01:22:58,200 Illyria, zero, Cornwall, zero. Nothing but a couple of goose eggs. 1237 01:22:58,300 --> 01:23:01,600 - Coach, I'm ready to play. - Is that what you call it? 1238 01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:04,500 I've seen little girls in tutus kick the ball better. 1239 01:23:04,600 --> 01:23:06,300 I've changed. 1240 01:23:06,400 --> 01:23:09,000 Come on, coach, give me one more chance. 1241 01:23:09,100 --> 01:23:10,700 All right. Go. 1242 01:23:10,800 --> 01:23:12,200 Kick. Kill! 1243 01:23:25,800 --> 01:23:27,300 Yeah! Now that's Viola! 1244 01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:45,000 You couldn't score on me in the first half. 1245 01:23:45,100 --> 01:23:48,800 You ain't going to score on me this half, baby! I'm ninja! Ninja goalie! 1246 01:24:00,300 --> 01:24:01,600 Come on, guys! 1247 01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:44,100 Duke! Duke! I'm open! 1248 01:24:44,200 --> 01:24:47,800 Give me the ball! Duke! Hey, over here! 1249 01:24:47,900 --> 01:24:49,900 I'm open! 1250 01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:55,000 Duke! Get back! Get back! 1251 01:24:59,500 --> 01:25:01,000 No! 1252 01:25:01,100 --> 01:25:04,000 Yes, Dan-O, way to go, baby! 1253 01:25:08,900 --> 01:25:10,900 Cornwall's right back in it with a goal. 1254 01:25:20,300 --> 01:25:24,000 - What's the matter?! Sebastian's open! - Rather lose the goal?! 1255 01:25:24,100 --> 01:25:25,300 Shut up, man. 1256 01:25:25,400 --> 01:25:27,500 Duke, I know you're mad at me. 1257 01:25:27,600 --> 01:25:30,500 Don't talk to me. Get out of my face! 1258 01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:34,200 Nothing is going on with me and Olivia! When the game is over I'll explain! 1259 01:25:34,400 --> 01:25:37,700 For right now, you don't have to like me, but I'm your teammate, OK?! 1260 01:25:37,800 --> 01:25:40,300 I want to beat these guys! I have to beat these guys! 1261 01:25:40,500 --> 01:25:43,700 If we're not disturbing you, we have a soccer game to finish. 1262 01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:45,100 Get back in the net, man. 1263 01:25:45,300 --> 01:25:47,300 Or you'll hit my fist with your face again? 1264 01:25:47,500 --> 01:25:49,500 Do you want to see me do it? Let's go! 1265 01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:50,900 Duke, come on. Stop it. 1266 01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:52,700 - Come on! - Duke, stop it. 1267 01:25:56,300 --> 01:25:59,400 Sebastian! 1268 01:25:59,500 --> 01:26:01,700 Duke! Stop it! 1269 01:26:01,800 --> 01:26:03,500 Come on! 1270 01:26:04,500 --> 01:26:05,800 OK! 1271 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:08,300 Stop it! Oh, my God! 1272 01:26:08,500 --> 01:26:11,200 If you want to roughhouse, take it at least 500 yards 1273 01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:14,200 - away from the stadium grounds. - Break it up! Break it up! 1274 01:26:15,500 --> 01:26:17,500 OK, tough guys. 1275 01:26:17,700 --> 01:26:21,400 You want to box? You get out of my stadium. 1276 01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:23,400 Otherwise, get on with the game. 1277 01:26:23,500 --> 01:26:25,600 Come on, now, Armadillos of Illyria. 1278 01:26:25,800 --> 01:26:27,600 That goes for the rest of you! 1279 01:26:27,700 --> 01:26:31,000 Now get on and play some real football! 1280 01:26:31,100 --> 01:26:33,900 - Like a bunch of girls. - OK. 1281 01:26:34,100 --> 01:26:38,700 The rest of you, let's play some real football like a bunch of girls. 1282 01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:40,700 - All right? - You suck! 1283 01:26:40,900 --> 01:26:44,200 It's not football, it's soccer. That's what we call it in the States. 1284 01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:48,100 - Sebastian! Are you OK? - No, Olivia, Not now. 1285 01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:50,600 Try to tell me again there's nothing going on. 1286 01:26:50,700 --> 01:26:52,400 There is nothing going on! 1287 01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:56,500 - What about last night? - I didn't lie to you, Duke. 1288 01:26:56,700 --> 01:26:59,300 I did, but not about this. 1289 01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:02,300 Here's the truth. 1290 01:27:03,800 --> 01:27:05,000 I love you. 1291 01:27:06,000 --> 01:27:07,000 I beg your pardon? 1292 01:27:07,100 --> 01:27:11,200 What? All right... What're you? That's just a little weird. 1293 01:27:11,300 --> 01:27:14,300 OK, you know what? I can't do this anymore. 1294 01:27:14,500 --> 01:27:17,100 Everybody, I have something to tell you. 1295 01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:20,800 I'm not Sebastian. 1296 01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:21,900 I'm Viola. 1297 01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:24,200 Wait. You're not Viola. 1298 01:27:24,400 --> 01:27:26,900 - Yes, I am. - No, I know Viola. 1299 01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:29,500 - I... I kissed Viola. - You kissed me. 1300 01:27:29,700 --> 01:27:33,800 What are you talking about? I didn't kiss you. 1301 01:27:33,900 --> 01:27:37,500 The girls team at Cornwall got cut. 1302 01:27:37,600 --> 01:27:40,800 The guys wouldn't let me go out for their team. 1303 01:27:40,900 --> 01:27:44,300 So I've been pretending to be my brother 1304 01:27:44,400 --> 01:27:48,500 while he was in London for the past two weeks... 1305 01:27:48,700 --> 01:27:52,900 ...so I could make the team and beat Cornwall. 1306 01:27:58,600 --> 01:28:01,000 But my brother came home early. 1307 01:28:01,100 --> 01:28:06,100 And that's who you saw kissing Olivia and that's who played the first half. 1308 01:28:06,200 --> 01:28:08,700 Because you wear a wig doesn't prove you're a girl. 1309 01:28:08,900 --> 01:28:11,100 OK, then. 1310 01:28:13,100 --> 01:28:15,200 Merciful Jesus. 1311 01:28:15,400 --> 01:28:16,900 Yeah! 1312 01:28:17,100 --> 01:28:18,900 - Viola?! - Is it just me 1313 01:28:19,100 --> 01:28:21,500 or this soccer game have more nudity than most? 1314 01:28:21,700 --> 01:28:23,600 All right, so everybody understand? 1315 01:28:23,800 --> 01:28:25,800 - Yeah. I get it. - OK. 1316 01:28:25,900 --> 01:28:28,900 Wait a minute. If I kissed your brother, where is he? 1317 01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:32,600 Probably halfway to China. He showed his willis and doodleberries... 1318 01:28:32,700 --> 01:28:34,300 - Present. - Hi. 1319 01:28:34,400 --> 01:28:36,300 What the? 1320 01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:38,700 OK, this is freaking me out. 1321 01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:43,300 Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to say "I told you so," but I just... 1322 01:28:44,400 --> 01:28:46,600 See, Duke? I didn't betray you. 1323 01:28:48,500 --> 01:28:49,600 I'm sorry. 1324 01:28:49,700 --> 01:28:53,500 This isn't how I wanted it to happen, and I didn't want to hurt you. 1325 01:28:53,700 --> 01:28:58,300 But I just wanted to prove that I was good enough. 1326 01:28:58,500 --> 01:29:00,500 All I'm asking for is a chance. 1327 01:29:05,000 --> 01:29:07,000 Duke? 1328 01:29:12,500 --> 01:29:15,200 It's just like what coach says before every game: 1329 01:29:17,100 --> 01:29:20,700 "Be not afraid of greatness. 1330 01:29:20,800 --> 01:29:24,200 Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. 1331 01:29:24,400 --> 01:29:29,400 And some have greatness thrust upon them." 1332 01:29:29,500 --> 01:29:33,400 I think the best chance for us to be great here today is to have you play. 1333 01:29:33,600 --> 01:29:36,000 - Yeah! - All right! 1334 01:29:36,200 --> 01:29:39,900 Yeah! Yeah! No! 1335 01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:41,400 No playing! 1336 01:29:41,500 --> 01:29:42,700 You have to forfeit. 1337 01:29:42,900 --> 01:29:45,500 There's no girls in this league. Look in the manual. 1338 01:29:48,100 --> 01:29:49,400 What manual? 1339 01:29:49,500 --> 01:29:52,500 Listen, pal. You're in Illyria. 1340 01:29:52,600 --> 01:29:57,400 We don't discriminate based on gender. 1341 01:29:57,500 --> 01:29:59,400 All right. 1342 01:29:59,500 --> 01:30:01,800 That's gonna bruise. 1343 01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:07,100 Fine. You really think you can beat us with a girl on your team? 1344 01:30:07,300 --> 01:30:09,600 This should be fun. 1345 01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:11,200 Go. 1346 01:30:11,300 --> 01:30:13,700 I get to say the last word, not you. Go. 1347 01:30:16,300 --> 01:30:17,900 OK, team... 1348 01:30:18,000 --> 01:30:21,400 ...let's go kick! Kill! - Yeah! 1349 01:30:21,500 --> 01:30:23,200 Come on! Come on! 1350 01:30:23,300 --> 01:30:25,900 Well, folks, this is a real nail-biter. 1351 01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:29,000 It's a tie score at the bottom of the second half. 1352 01:31:00,100 --> 01:31:02,000 Come on, come on! Open up! 1353 01:31:18,200 --> 01:31:19,200 What? 1354 01:31:19,300 --> 01:31:23,100 Foul? That's not a foul! He got all ball! 1355 01:31:29,100 --> 01:31:31,400 And the penalty kick will decide the game. 1356 01:31:39,700 --> 01:31:43,700 Where you gonna kick it? Right here? I know you're gonna kick it there. 1357 01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:45,500 Am I in your head? Am I in your head? 1358 01:31:45,600 --> 01:31:49,200 You see the goal? It's getting smaller and I'm getting bigger. 1359 01:31:49,300 --> 01:31:50,300 Come on. 1360 01:31:50,400 --> 01:31:52,400 I love you. 1361 01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:55,200 Concentrate. Don't kick like a girl. 1362 01:31:55,300 --> 01:31:57,900 Guys are better. It's not gonna happen. 1363 01:31:58,000 --> 01:31:59,900 You're a loser! This is my house! 1364 01:32:00,100 --> 01:32:02,600 You're pathetic! I'm in your head. 1365 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:18,100 Yeah! 1366 01:32:19,700 --> 01:32:23,000 - That's my girl! - Mine too! 1367 01:32:34,200 --> 01:32:37,000 It's not fair! It's not fair! 1368 01:32:37,100 --> 01:32:38,800 That was a lucky shot! 1369 01:32:39,000 --> 01:32:42,900 I never wanna see you again! You suck! 1370 01:32:50,200 --> 01:32:52,900 - You did it, Vi! - You were so awesome! 1371 01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:55,700 - I am so proud of you. - It's over. 1372 01:32:55,900 --> 01:32:58,400 You scored the game-winning goal. Say something. 1373 01:32:58,500 --> 01:33:00,800 Mom? Dad? 1374 01:33:03,300 --> 01:33:05,700 - That was really something. - Thanks, Dad. 1375 01:33:05,800 --> 01:33:09,400 - You did all this to play soccer? - I told you, it's important to me. 1376 01:33:09,600 --> 01:33:13,200 If Viola was here pretending to be you, 1377 01:33:13,400 --> 01:33:15,300 - where were you? - Oh, he was... 1378 01:33:15,400 --> 01:33:17,300 I was in London playing my music. 1379 01:33:17,400 --> 01:33:20,200 - London? - It was important to me. 1380 01:33:20,400 --> 01:33:22,900 - You should call before you... - How did you? 1381 01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:25,300 Mom, Dad... Hey! 1382 01:33:25,500 --> 01:33:29,600 Why don't we go to dinner? As a family? 1383 01:33:29,700 --> 01:33:32,900 - Maybe tomorrow? - I suppose I could fit that in. 1384 01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:35,400 Would you like to have my cell phone number? 1385 01:33:35,500 --> 01:33:37,600 - Let me give you my e-mail. - All right. 1386 01:33:37,700 --> 01:33:39,100 Yay! 1387 01:33:39,300 --> 01:33:41,000 - Good job. - Thank you. 1388 01:33:41,200 --> 01:33:44,300 Oh, wait! There is somebody I want you to officially meet. 1389 01:33:44,500 --> 01:33:47,800 Sebastian Hastings, Olivia Lennox. 1390 01:33:49,900 --> 01:33:52,300 - It's very nice to meet you. - You too. 1391 01:33:52,400 --> 01:33:55,700 So I heard you like my lyrics. 1392 01:33:58,300 --> 01:34:01,800 - Eunice? - Toby? 1393 01:34:04,700 --> 01:34:07,200 I have something to say. 1394 01:34:07,400 --> 01:34:09,900 I think you are... 1395 01:34:10,000 --> 01:34:12,600 ...amazing. 1396 01:34:13,800 --> 01:34:16,100 And I'm not ashamed of it. 1397 01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:21,800 I know tricks. 1398 01:34:21,900 --> 01:34:23,900 Oh, Eunice. 1399 01:34:59,400 --> 01:35:02,100 Hey, roomie. 1400 01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:04,800 This is for you. 1401 01:35:27,100 --> 01:35:30,000 "The Stratford Junior League invites you 1402 01:35:30,200 --> 01:35:34,000 to the 38th Annual Debutante Ball." 1403 01:35:36,200 --> 01:35:40,000 - He still could show, you know. - You didn't see his face. 1404 01:35:40,100 --> 01:35:42,300 I found the perfect dress. 1405 01:35:42,400 --> 01:35:46,300 Thanks, Mom, but I don't think I'm gonna get a chance to wear it. 1406 01:35:46,400 --> 01:35:47,500 Nonsense. 1407 01:35:47,700 --> 01:35:51,700 You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress. 1408 01:35:52,600 --> 01:35:54,600 But it doesn't hurt. 1409 01:35:54,800 --> 01:35:59,200 Viola Hastings, it would be my honor to escort you tonight. 1410 01:35:59,400 --> 01:36:01,300 Thanks, Paul. That's really sweet. 1411 01:36:01,400 --> 01:36:04,000 Caterpillars! My precious caterpillars. 1412 01:36:04,100 --> 01:36:07,100 In 20 minutes you'll all be beautiful butterflies. 1413 01:36:07,300 --> 01:36:10,300 - Caterpillars! - Butterflies! 1414 01:36:10,500 --> 01:36:14,200 You look beautiful. I just... I gotta get some air. 1415 01:36:46,200 --> 01:36:47,900 I didn't think you'd show up. 1416 01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:52,400 It really means a lot to me that you're here. 1417 01:36:54,600 --> 01:36:57,600 - Say something. - I gotta turn the sprinklers on. 1418 01:37:00,200 --> 01:37:02,100 Sorry. 1419 01:37:10,100 --> 01:37:13,100 - Hi. - Hi. 1420 01:37:13,200 --> 01:37:16,200 So, what brings you here? 1421 01:37:17,600 --> 01:37:20,100 Well, a few days ago, 1422 01:37:20,200 --> 01:37:23,500 I kissed this girl at a kissing booth. 1423 01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:29,800 And now I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. 1424 01:37:30,600 --> 01:37:32,500 Neither can she. 1425 01:37:32,700 --> 01:37:37,000 Plus, I miss my roommate. 1426 01:37:37,200 --> 01:37:39,400 I really liked him. 1427 01:37:40,600 --> 01:37:43,000 Well... 1428 01:37:43,100 --> 01:37:44,800 ...he's right in here. 1429 01:37:46,100 --> 01:37:51,400 Listen, I know I should've told you who I was, but... 1430 01:37:51,500 --> 01:37:52,800 ...I was afraid. 1431 01:37:55,100 --> 01:37:58,400 - Sorry. - Well, 1432 01:37:58,500 --> 01:38:01,000 you know, maybe if I'd have known you were a girl, 1433 01:38:01,100 --> 01:38:03,500 we wouldn't have talked like we did 1434 01:38:03,600 --> 01:38:06,800 and got to know each other the same way. 1435 01:38:06,900 --> 01:38:08,600 And that would have been a shame. 1436 01:38:10,800 --> 01:38:13,200 Just so you know, 1437 01:38:13,400 --> 01:38:17,800 everything you told me when I was a guy just... 1438 01:38:17,900 --> 01:38:21,800 ...made me like you so much more as a girl. 1439 01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:25,000 OK, but just from here on in, 1440 01:38:25,100 --> 01:38:27,800 everything would just be a lot easier 1441 01:38:28,000 --> 01:38:31,300 if you stayed a girl. 1442 01:38:31,500 --> 01:38:33,600 I promise. 1443 01:38:33,700 --> 01:38:39,000 Monique Valentine, escorted by Justin Drayton. 1444 01:38:48,000 --> 01:38:49,400 Justin, you're the man! 1445 01:38:56,400 --> 01:39:00,900 Olivia Lennox, escorted by Sebastian Hastings. 1446 01:39:07,900 --> 01:39:13,700 Viola Hastings, escorted by Paul Antonio. 1447 01:39:18,500 --> 01:39:21,000 Viola Hastings. 1448 01:39:23,200 --> 01:39:25,900 This is typical. Well, where is she? 106699