All language subtitles for Episode 7 - The Barbecue

A POP Original Series

(Birds chirp)

- All right.

(Door opens)

- Morning, David.

- Ew. What are you all doing
here?

- We have a surprise for you.

- Judging from the looks on
your faces, I don't want it.

- Stevie?
- Stevie?

- Something arrived
at the front desk for you.

Ah!

- It appears someone has
something to celebrate.

- Why would Patrick do that?

- That was my first thought.

Celebrating a monthly
anniversary

seems a bit of a reach.

But then Alexis informed us

that this is the longest
relationship you've ever had!

- Four whole months, David.
- How 'bout that?

- Okay, this is not the longest
relationship I've ever had.

I had a... very intimate
connection with Tony,

for several years.

I had a... very intimate
connection with Tony,

for several years.

- She was your pen pal, David.

- She was in a penitentiary,
dear.

- Well, this calls
for a celebration.

- Now Roland just found
a barbecue in the shed,

so I say you invite Patrick
over, we fire it up,

and have a good old fashioned
Rose family barbecue.

- Yes, David.

- I mean, we already have
dessert.

I mean, this would feed
at least 10 people.

- Okay, first of all,
no one's sharing the cookie.

And second of all,

Patrick is not being invited
to a barbecue.

- Is he pulling back?
- No!

- Has he asked you
about an open relationship?

- Not yet. Anyway,
everything is fine,

which is why I would rather
not subject him

to eating charred meat
with this group of carnies.

- Carnies are people too.

- David, could you just once
embrace joy?

- Okay.

- Perhaps it's this nay-saying
reticence

that caused your past
relationships to...

- Fall apart.
-...oxidize.

- Oxidize.
- Okay, you know what?

I think we're good here.
Thanks.

- So you're bringing Patrick?

- Nope, Patrick's still not
coming.

Bye bye.

(Sniffs cookie)
Oh yeah, it's soft.

♪♪♪

(Jazz music plays)

(Door opens and closes)

Do you have any idea
what you've done?

- Take it the cookie
went over well?

- I have told you
for three months now,

that I don't want a monthly
anniversary gift.

And I know you think
it's very funny,

but this time it went too far.

- It's a cookie, David,
what's the big deal?

- First of all, a cookie
is always a big deal,

especially when that cookie
just alerted my entire family

to the fact that this is

officially the longest
relationship I've ever had.

- This is the longest
relationship you've ever had?

Oh, I shoulda got you
more than a cookie.

- Okay, well the cookie
was almost too much.

Figuratively speaking.

I ate half of it
on the way here.

Bottom line, I just don't think
we need to celebrate as much.

You know, we could just go
day-to-day like normal people.

If we throw a... if we throw a
renaissance fair every month,

I just feel like
we might be tempting fate.

- We are not tempting fate,
okay?

I can't speak to your past,

but I think you might
have an easier time of it,

and maybe a little bit
more fun,

if you just learn
to trust people.

- The last time I heard that,
I was dating a birthday clown

who painted my face
in the night,

and was literally never seen
from again.

- Noted.

You have nothing
to worry about, David,

and I can return these tickets
to the Julia Stiles-a-thon

at the drive-in tonight.
- Let me see those.

- I agree, that might have been
a little overboard.

- Okay, first of all,
let it be known

that supporting Julia Stiles
is never going overboard.

- Oh, so you can go?
- Um, not tonight.

Tonight I have a thing,
but tomorrow I could come.

- What's your thing tonight?

- Um, it's just like a family
thing at the motel.

It's like a nothing thing.
You wouldn't...

- Okay, well tomorrow night
it is.

Now I gotta go to town hall
to get some signatures

for our permit renewal,
but don't worry, David,

unlike the birthday clown,
I will be back.

- He was never found.
- Probably dead.

(Bell jingles, door shuts)

- You just fill this out
and I'll get ya checked in.

- Great, thanks.
- Hey girl.

- Oh, you're talkin' to me?

- Yeah, who else would I be
talking to? No offense.

- What's up?

- Okay, so I wanted to get some
advice, like girl-to-girl,

'cause you're always so good
with boy stuff.

- So David's at work and you
had nobody else to talk to?

- What?

That's...

So I got this message from Ted,

and I wanted to get someone's -
your -

- Mhmm.
- your, specific opinion

before I replied.

Okay, so this is what Ted
sent this morning.

- I'm more of a bagel guy,
winky face?

- Keep in mind we haven't seen
each other in weeks.

- Okay, so it was an accident.

- Or, it was made to look like
an accident.

- Okay.
- It's a tactic, Stevie.

You send someone a random text
message to get their attention,

and then the next thing you
know, you're talking again.

- Who would do that?
- I've done that. Like a lot.

- I did it last week.

- This is why I choose not
to be in a relationship.

- Hey... Alexis.

- Rachel, sorry,
I didn't mean to eavesdrop,

but that's like the oldest
trick in the book.

Texting a bunch of letters
and saying your phone

was unlocked in your purse.
- Right?

I used to text Zac Efron
just like a question mark

whenever I wanted a booty call.

Poor thing would be like
buzzing my apartment

before I even pressed send.

- That's actually
how my fiancé and I

keep getting back together.

- Okay, Rachel,
you're in Room 9.

- Oh, actually we're
just finishing up.

Um, okay so what do you think
I should write back?

- Honestly, I don't know
anything about your
relationship,

but I do know that games
only get you so far.

Unless you wanna end up
like me, 6 months later,

tryin' to win him back
for the 50th time.

- Mmhm. Having flashbacks
of Zac Efron.

- Isn't it easier to just
be direct?

Either way, you get an answer.

- You're like super smart,
and pretty in like a breezy,

non-threatening sort of way.

- Another successful girl talk.

(Door shuts, footsteps clank)

- You know, Roland, when you
said you found a grill,

this isn't exactly
what I had in mind.

- What'd you expect Johnny,
Benihana? (Laughs)

- No, there's no dials,
no tanks, no side burners.

I mean, I wasn't expecting
a built-in wine fridge,

but this is nothing... like
what I'm used to cooking on.

(Roland scoffs)
- What?

- No, I'm sorry, I just had
an image of you cooking.

Come on, Johnny, you're talking
to a grill master.

Do you know that I've been
given three different aprons

because of my barbecue skills?

Let's see,
I've got License to Grill,

I've got Working Grill,

oh and I have Grills
Just Wanna Have Fun.

- It's gonna take more than
a license to grill

to get this thing back to life.

- Okay look, um, I can smell
your fear, okay?

So why don't you go grab
the meat and the briquettes,

and I'll get this bad boy
up and running for ya?

- Okay well, thank you, Roland.

And just so you're aware,

this has nothing to do
with me not knowing my way
around a grill.

I've watched many a personal
chef flip a burger in my day.

- I've got the perfect apron
for ya,

Poor Little Rich Grill.
(Laughs)

I'll get it made up. (Laughs)

♪♪♪

(Quick footsteps thud)

- I think so.
- I hope so.

It would only be fair.
Please tell me yes.

- Uh, hi.

- David, someone's ears
must be a-flame.

- When you said that you were
coming back,

you just meant that
you weren't coming back,

and that I would have to spend
the afternoon searching for you

on the train tracks, and among
various unmarked vans.

- You did that for me?

- No, but there was a moment
when I thought about doing it.

- David, blame me.
- Oh, I do.

- Patrick was about to slip
away with the signatures

when I corralled him into a
little lunchtime chin wag.

- Yes, which is how I found out
about the barbecue

that I was invited to,
but didn't know about.

- Hmm.

- Why didn't you tell me I was
invited to the barbecue?

- Well, they only wanted to
have the barbecue

after reading what
was on your cookie.

- Yeah, sorry that still
sounds pretty nice to me.

- Thank you, Pat.
- It is nice.

No one's saying it's not nice.
What I'm saying is--

- Yeah, okay.
- (Grunts)

- Pat, do you mind giving us
the room for just a moment?

- Certainly.
- Okay.

- Somebody should probably be
at the store anyway, huh?

Lovely talking to you,
Mrs. Rose.

- You too.

Wow.
(Door creak shut)

- What are you doing?

I told you I didn't want to
make a big deal out of this.

- David you can't blame us
for being excited.

Your father and I,

we weren't involved in your
past relationships,

and from what I understand it
was one bungle after another.

I'm not saying
there's a connection.

- There's no connection,

it's just a long string
of very bad luck,

and I don't know what kind
of carnage

I inflicted in a past life,
to deserve it.

I must've been... Dracula,
or a spin instructor.

- And what if we could finally
tie a sailor's knot

in that string of bad luck?

Because after spending 5
minutes alone with sweet Pat,

- We're not doing Pat.

- He sees you.
For all that you are.

- Well, hopefully not all that
I am, I mean that would be--

- Oh, David, you have the
opportunity to climb out

of the quicksand
that was your past,

and stand firmly
in the present.

Let us celebrate that.

- (Sighs) Fine. He can come.

- Excellent. And he's bringing
- (Sighs) Fine. He can come.
his guitar.

- Excellent. And he's bringing
his guitar.

- What?

- Well, it was mostly his idea,
you know,

in case there's a rousing
fireside sing-along?

- No, I draw the line
at sing-along.

(Birds chirping)

- Whoa, geez, Louise.

(Light taps)

Alexis, hey.

- Hey. I was in
the neighbourhood,

so I thought I'd just pop in
and say hey.

I was gonna send a text but um,

I thought it'd be better
if I just came in.

- I'm glad you did.

- I'm also glad I did.

- It's good to see you.
- It's also good to see you.

Okay, well I just wanted
to say hey,

and I'm here,
and I got your text.

- What text?
- The text.

- Did I send a text?

- Maybe... no?

Maybe you didn't. Did you?
I'm not sure.

- What, uh, what'd it say?

- Nothing. I don't think it
said anything,

now that I think about it.

Um... no something about you
being more of a bagel guy.

- Oh my god,
did I send that to you?

- No, I don't think so.
- Oh my gosh, I did.

- Did you, though?
- I'm sorry,

that wasn't supposed
to be sent to you.

- Hello dummy,
why do you think I'm here?

I'm here to tell you
to be careful

because with those texts, those
texts in the wrong hands...

- Yeah, it was actually
meant for Heather.

- Heather, yes. Yes.

You and Heath and the bagels.
- Yeah, she was just asking

if she should pick up scones
or bagels.

- Anyway, now we know.
Now we know.

- You shoulda just texted.

You didn't have to come
all the way down here.

- Well no... um, as I was
saying, I was in the area.

So, I just wanted to pop in
and see the look on your face

when you realized
that you'd sent the text

to the wrong person.
- Ooh.

- (Fake squeal)
(Laughs)

Um, hmm.

- Um, hey I'm sorry
if I haven't been in touch

as much recently.
- Oh my god, please. Please.

Uh no, I should get outta
your hair.

But it was good to see you,
Mr. Bagel. (Laughs)

That's a you-and-Heather thing,

but now that you texted me,

it's kind of like an all-of-us
thing.

So, have a great afternoon
today.

(Door shuts)

- Looking good, Roland!

What time do you wanna
fire this baby up?

- Uh, I dunno, probably about
an hour before you wanna eat.

- Oh, well I was hoping
to eat around 8.

- Where are we, Barcelona?
(Laughs)

- Uh, well then 7.
- Yeah, 7 sounds better.

- Honey, you ready to go?
- Yeah.

- Wait, wait,
where are you going?

- Oh, Jocelyn and I have
another one of those

birthing rehearsals
we gotta go to.

- I just bought $100
worth of sliders.

- Geez Johnny,
thanks for rubbing it in

when you know I can't come.
- You can't come?

You didn't say you can't come!

You were bragging
about being a grill master.

- He really is. Did you tell
him about the aprons?

- Yes he did!
And I was counting on him

to do the grilling!

- You know, Johnny,
maybe you should consider

calling off the barbecue.

- Well, I'm not calling it off!

I just have to figure
this thing out.

- Right, cut to
(Explosion sound)

- Well, we're not cutting
to (Explosion sound).

- Cut to, I've ruined my
sliders! (Laughs)

Cut to, how does this thing
work? (Laughs)

- See, this wasn't as hard
as you thought it was.

- Mr. Rose, would you mind
taking a few steps back?

- Oh, what you're gonna spray
the briquettes again?

- Nope.

- You guys want me to jump in?

- No, I think we've got it
covered.

- Oh, you do, oh great, 'cause
I'm gonna get another beer.

- Hmm?
- There ya go.

- All right.

Well, finally.

Back at the old grill.

- I'd say that one looks
about perfect.

- I was gonna say the same
thing.

Specifically which one
were you talking about?

- Just this one, here.
- Oh yeah, that's the one.

- Okay, should I save him?

- Oh they'll be fine.

Let's just sit back
and enjoy the sight

of our two strapping men
bonding over an open flame.

Johnny: This one looks good,
is this one cooked?

- Okay, so what else is new?
How's the shop?

- Hmm, thriving.
- Yes.

- Which is shocking because
as you may or may not know,

I've struggled with group work
in the past.

- David, you are living
an exciting new chapter

in the book on tape
of your life.

And you, you did this all
by yourself.

- Okay, just so you know,

that's not really a compliment,

but thank you.

- Oh my god, hey.
- Hi.

- Um, so I took your advice,
which in retrospect is weird

considering we like literally
just met.

- Fair enough. And?

- Turns out that text message
wasn't for me after all.

- Oh.

- His girlfriend was
at a bakery,

hence the whole
"I prefer bagels thing".

- Right.
So that girlfriend detail

woulda been pretty useful
in the conversation

we had earlier,
but still, I'm sorry.

Oh, I feel somewhat
responsible.

- Yeah, I can see that.

It's just weird because like,

I'm always the one being
chased.

- I assumed that,
based on your face, and... body.

- Right?

- At least you got your answer.

- You know what, Rach,
part of me feels like

we were destined to meet today.

- Well, that would make you
the one good thing

to come outta my day.

- Oh no.
- Yeah.

To be honest, I came here
to win someone back,

and it didn't happen.

So, my big grand gesture
ends here.

Sleeping alone
in some roadside motel.

- Listen, it's not over yet.

Why don't you come with me
to the barbecue

that my parents are throwing?

We can be each other's little...
little daties.

- I would love that.

Thank you.

- That's it, watch your step.
- Yeah.

- Okay, right, here. Perfect.

Perfect. There ya go,
we make a good team, Pat.

- No, John, no,
we're not doing Pat.

- No we're not.

- Okay, we're not waiting
for Alexis, are we?

Because honestly,
I could eat this tablecloth.

- Medium rare for David.
- Thank you.

- You know um, this wasn't
actually the first time

that I've been put to work
by the Rose family.

My first job in high school
was actually at a Rose Video.

- Get outta town! What branch?

- 785.
- 785.

Impressive late fees.
- Thank you.

- Can you pass the ketchup,
please?

- Okay, how did I not know that
you worked at a Rose Video?

- Well, let's hope that you
continue

to surprise each other.

It keeps the relationship
titillating.

- Okay, please never say
titillating

when referring
to my relationship.

- Oh, can I though?
- No.

- Well, anyone with a glass,
please raise them.

To relationships...

old and new.

(Approaching footsteps thud)

- Um, thanks for waiting.

- Alexis! Just in time!

- Everybody, this is my new
friend Rachel,

she's having a bit of a day.

- Patrick?

- Rachel, what are you
doing here?

- What are you doing here? I've
been texting you for 2 days.

- Wait, Patrick is your fiancé?

- Uh, I'm sorry you
have a fiancée?

- No I... I mean I don't... now.

But yes, at some point
I mean, we... we were...

- Patrick, what's going on here?

- Okay, um, I just think
I might need a sec.

- (Sighs) David.

- I'm gonna talk to you
in a minute,

we've got a lot to talk about.

- Who is she?

I glanced down at my plate
for two seconds.

- (Sighs)

(Door opens and shuts)

David, I-I need to explain
a couple of things.

- Um, what would be the main
one, do you think?

- Rachel and I were engaged,

but I called it off
before I moved here.

- Okay, you know what, you
don't need to explain yourself.

- I think...I think that I do.
- No, I know you do,

that's just what I'm supposed
to be saying in the moment,

so, please continue.
- Okay um,

we got together when we were
in high school,

and we've been on and off
ever since.

I don't know we always just
sorta fell back into it.

Anyway, she's been reaching out

and expecting us
to get back together

for the past few months.
- Whoa.

Over the past few months?

And you didn't think
to tell me about this?

You stood in front of me
and told me to trust people.

- I know.

- When I was perfectly fine
not trusting people.

Not trusting people
is what I'm used to.

It is my comfort zone.
But next thing I know,

there's an oversized cookie
on my doorstep,

and you are telling me that
I have nothing to worry about.

- I didn't want it to affect
what we have. Okay?

And I mean it when I tell you

that you have nothing
And I mean it when I tell you
to worry about.

that you have nothing
to worry about.

'Cause no matter how hard
I tried with her,

it just never felt right.

And up until recently,
I didn't understand why.

David, I've spent most
of my life

not knowing what right
was supposed to feel like,

and then I met you.

And everything changed.

You make me feel right, David.

- That is quite possibly one
of the most beautiful things

I've ever heard anyone say.

Um... outside of the
"Downton Christmas Special".

- It's the truth.
- I know um...

it's just that my truth

is that I am damaged goods,

and this has really messed
things up for me.

And I think I need
some time with it.

- All right.

(Light receding footsteps)

- Actually um,

I haven't had dinner yet, so...

- I'll grab ya a slider.

- More than one, um,
and some potato salad,

and I think there were some
other sides on the table,

but I couldn't see,

so maybe just a smattering
of everything.

- Okay.

(Emotional) Okay.

(Door opens and closes)

Woman on TV: I talked to Tommy
yesterday,

he seemed very, very upset.

- Okay, how long do you think
before I can go in there?

- Well, I don't know,
he had 6 sliders.

I'm assuming he'll be falling
asleep soon.

- My poor baby.

I told him he was out
of the quicksand,

but he's not, John,
he's sinking.

And there's nothing
I can do about it.

- Okay, don't get me wrong,
I feel super bad,

and partially responsible
because I invited Rachel

to the barbecue,
but at the same time,

he's been watching that show
for 3 hours

and my phone's in there.

- Well, you might have to go
one night

without your phone, Alexis.
- Ugh!

(Knocks) David! David!

Woman on TV: I know he will,
but what's gone so wrong

between the two of you?

What's so wrong that
it can't be patched up?

You don't mean--
- Yes, it's true!