All language subtitles for Nero Wolfe S01E05

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Judging by your lugubrious gait

and sour expression

I assume that your endeavors
have achieved nothing.

Well, there may have been
some buried clue or significant fact

that showed itself,
but I missed it.

Hmm.

Then you better
type up the report.

You mean my full report?

You want it verbatim?

Yes.

Uh, that could take all
afternoon, maybe more.

I suppose so.

I asked you to type the report.

I heard you

but it's just a stall
and you know it.

Archie, you might recall

that I once returned
a retainer of $40,000

to a client named
Zimmerman, because he...

wanted to tell me
how to handle his case

instead of leaving it to me.

Please type up the report.

It would've been a pleasure
to take a gun out of the drawer

and shoot that book
right out of his hand

but I decided it
was inadvisable.

So I swiveled, pulled
the typewriter to me

got paper, twirled it
in and hit the keys.

Three and a half
hours later, at 6:00

I finished typing my report
and someone rang the bell.

Yes, can I help you?

My name is Arthur M. Irby.

I'm a lawyer and I
represent Eric Hagh

the former husband
of Priscilla Eades.

I would like to
speak to Mr. Wolfe.

Come in.

Eric Hagh's lawyer, Albert
Irby, is here to see you.

Where the devil did you get him?

Well, I didn't exactly
get him, he came here.

What does he
want? To talk to you.

Look, since you don't
like a client horning in

on a case of yours, I didn't
press him for particulars.

Bring him.

Mr. Wolfe will see you.

I appreciate your
seeing me, Mr. Wolfe

but I'm not surprised

because I know of
your great services

in the cause of justice

and that's what I want
for my client, Eric Hagh.

I was asked to represent him
by a colleague in Venezuela...

My time and attention

are not infinite, Mr. Irby.

Oh.

Of course.

Forgive me.

I have with me

a photostat of a letter
dated August 12, 1946

written and signed by
Priscilla Eades Hagh

and witnessed by
Margaret Folmos.

In this letter, Priscilla
gives to her husband, Eric

a half interest in all
property, then hers

or to become hers

at any time in the future.

This is a legal matter.

I'm not a lawyer.

I came to consult you
not in a matter of the law

but in a matter of fact.

Miss Eades told me on Friday

that she signed the
document in good faith.

She offered my client
a $100,000 settlement.

He rejected it, so I
went to see Mr. Helmar.

I fail to see what this
has to do with me.

Mr. Helmar claimed she
never signed the document

and accused my
client of forging it

so I called Mr. Hagh
and told him to get on

the first plane to New York.

Uh, in five minutes,
my dinner is served

and I will be leaving this room

whether you are
finished speaking or not.

You might consider
getting to the point

sooner rather than later.

It occurred to me that, um...

you could speak

to the authenticity
of the document.

Miss Eades came to consult you.

She spent hours here.

Surely the document
was discussed

and surely she
acknowledged signing it.

If Mr. Goodwin was also
here and can speak...

that would clinch it.

Such assistance would be
of great value to Mr. Hagh

amounting to...

five percent

of the total sum received by him

in settlement of his claim.

Hmm.

You say Mr. Hagh is
coming to New York?

Yes.

When does he arrive?

Tomorrow afternoon, 3:00.

Oh, I'd like to see him.

Oh, certainly. I want you to.

I'll bring him straight
here from the airport.

Meanwhile... I've
prepared affidavits.

No, there will be no affidavits
until I speak to your client.

Then we'll see.

I-I think there should be a
meeting of all those involved.

Both sides

with you present

here in my office at
9:00 p.m. tomorrow.

I would welcome such a meeting

but I want some
assurance that...

No. By making me a
flagrantly improper offer

you have forfeited
all rights to amenity.

You'll have to
take it as it comes.

My dinner is served.

Very well then.

Good day.

Are you satisfied?

No, sir.

And neither are you.

The next morning, I decided
for the umpteenth time

I didn't have the
right temperament

for working with Nero Wolfe.

If I had, I would've long
ago quit being exasperated

by his assumption
that there was no point

starting the day's
detecting activities

until he came down from
the plant rooms at 11:00.

Nero Wolfe's office,
Archie Goodwin speaking.

This is Sarah
Jaffe, Mr. Goodwin.

Yes, yes, it is.

I can tell by the
voice. Good morning.

Good morning.

I wanted...

How are you?

Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

I'm fine, too.

I just had my breakfast
and I wanted to phone you.

There was no place
at the table but mine.

Well, that's good.

You know, in the long run

that'll save a lot of
breakage on dishes.

Oh, it'll save more than that.

You took the coat
and hat away with you.

Yes, I did, and for God's sake

don't tell me you
want them back.

I disposed of them.

Oh, I'll never want them back.

When I went into the
hall, long after you left

I... I cried like a baby

and I knew you had done
a wonderful thing for me

and that I had to do anything
you asked me to do... anything.

Only, of course not...

I mean, anything
you would ask me.

That is, anything I can do.

So, just tell me what it is?

Uh... yes. I see.

Uh, well, uh, it's what I
asked you to do yesterday.

Yes, I thought so.

You'll have to
provide an attorney.

I'm afraid mine
wouldn't approve.

Well, uh, Mr. Wolfe's
attorney, Nathaniel Parker

will be asked to
act on your behalf

and you couldn't do any
better than Mr. Parker.

I don't think I'm still
in that, Mr. Goodwin

so I'm pretty brave
to be doing this

and... I hope you know it.

I do.

And I appreciate it.

Bye for now.

And so we were going to
hatch Wolfe's plan after all.

The legal merits

are open to question

but it should suffice
to get them here.

We had given
Parker all the details.

Well, I'm not so sure.

Ah, don't worry.

If you get disbarred
because of this operation

I can get you a job
folding paper napkins.

Lawyers are incapable

of taking a joke
about getting disbarred

because it takes them

so much time and
money to get barred.

Yes, Mr. Perry Helmar, please.

This is Nathaniel
Parker's office calling.

It's regarding a
Mrs. Sarah Jaffe

and Softdown, Incorporated.

This is Helmar speaking.

Yes, Mr. Helmar, please
hold for Mr. Parker.

Good afternoon, Mr. Helmar.

Uh, my name is Nathaniel Parker.

I am an attorney.

Uh, I am preparing

to start a case for a client

and I'm calling you as a
matter of professional courtesy.

Uh, the client is
Mrs. Sarah Jaffe.

I believe you know her?

Yes, I've known Mrs.
Jaffe all of her life.

What kind of action
are you talking about?

Uh, well, perhaps I
should explain to you

that Mrs. Jaffe was referred

to me by Mr. Nero Wolfe...

That crook?

That damn scoundrel?

Well, I won't stipulate that

and, uh, I doubt if
you can establish it.

I was saying: Mrs. Jaffe

would like me to ask a court

to enjoin you and
members of the board

from assuming ownership

of any of the capital stock

of Softdown, Incorporated
under the provisions

of the will of the
late Nathaniel Eades.

And from attempting to exercise
any rights of such ownership

until it is determined
whether one or more of you

has acquired this stock by,
um... murdering Priscilla Eades.

This is an act of malice.

Nero Wolfe put her up to this.

I will speak with
Mrs. Jaffe myself.

I-I don't think that will help.

Uh, as Mrs. Jaffe's attorney

I have advised her not to
discuss this matter with anyone

except Mr. Wolfe,
if she sees fit.

No judge would grant
such an injunction.

Well, that remains to be seen.

But I think

an effort should be made
to protect all interests

without going to court

and Mr. Wolfe has agreed...

uh, provided that such
efforts be made tonight

at his office and that
all involved be present.

At Wolfe's office?

Yes.

Never! Never!

That man is a murderer himself!

I think, Counselor, you
are a little free with words.

Uh, we'll expect you at 9:00

with the rest of the board.

They'll come.

The Softdown crowd showed
up on time as expected

and we finally got
to meet Eric Hagh.

There had been so much
talk about South America

I had expected him

to be a cross between
Diego Rivera and Peron.

But I couldn't have
told him from a Viking

if it hadn't been
for his clothes.

Good evening.

I have a prepared statement

that I would like to read.

"Speaking for myself
and my four associates

"we denounce Nero Wolfe

"for his instigation of
an unwarranted attack

"upon us by Mrs. Sarah Jaffe.

"We declare that
said instigation

"was prompted by malice

"and that the
threat of legal action

"on behalf of Mrs. Jaffe is
an unjustified, unprovoked

"and reprehensible
attempt at coercion

"and we demand the right

"to interview Mrs.
Jaffe privately

"before entering into a
discussion with Counselor Parker

and particularly any discussion
to which Nero Wolfe is a party."

May I say that, uh...

If you please, Mr. Helmar.

There's no
question of your right

to interview Mrs.
Jaffe privately.

The only question is how

she feels about it herself.

Ask her.

Sarah...

you wouldn't let me speak
to you on the telephone.

You've known
me all of your life.

I held you in my arms
when you were a baby.

Have you ever known me

to do anything unfair or wicked

or dishonest?

Yes.

What?

Did you say "yes"?

Yes, I did.

You did all of
those things to Pris.

You didn't love her
or understand her

and you were bad for her.

I want to say one thing.

I haven't been coerced to do
this by Mr. Wolfe or Mr. Parker.

I am doing this
because I want to

and... it was Archie Goodwin

who made me want to.

It wouldn't do the
slightest good for you

to speak with me,
Mr. Helmar, so... forget it.

Listen, Sarah

you don't understand...

I think I do

and... what if I don't?

Does anyone else

have a statement to read?

Good.

First, I'll make
one thing clear.

I have been engaged

to investigate the
murder of Priscilla Eades

and that is my sole interest.

By Sarah Jaffe?

No, my client's identity
is not your concern.

In my opinion, it
is entirely proper

for Mrs. Jaffe to bring
the action contemplated

but that will be determined
not by me, not by you

but by a court tomorrow morning

unless developments
here this evening

make it unnecessary.

What developments
could make it unnecessary?

Oh, any of several.

For instance

my discovery of the identity

of the murderer

though I confess that I expect
no such happy expedition.

Another possible development

would be for me to conclude

after inquiry that
none of you five people

was involved in the
murder of Miss Eades.

The reason for this meeting
is an explanation by you

and Counselor Parker about
this whole preposterous event.

Do you really mean that?

Yes, I certainly do.

Then get out.

What's that?

Get out!

Before you go, Mr. Helmar

there's a piece of
information for you.

I am told

that you are now claiming

that the letter from
Priscilla Eades

giving her husband half
her property is spurious.

If you accuse me
of deception, sir

I accuse you of an impudent lie

in an attempt to defraud.

In this room, Monday evening

Miss Eades told Mr. Goodwin
and me categorically

that she signed that document.

And, of course, you knew that.

Bravo.

Now that is honesty, gentlemen.

Oh... here it is.

Here it is.

Well, this is fantastic.

We are subject to trial
on the charge of murder

with you as the
judge and the jury.

No, not as you put it.

What do you mean by inquiry?

Put it this way... I say
to you, Miss Duday

there is a suspicion

that you had something
to do with the murders

of Priscilla Eades
and Margaret Folmos.

That you may actually
have committed the crimes

with your own hands.

What have you to say
to remove or discredit

that suspicion?

That should be simple.

It's true, of course

that I'll get a large
block of stocks...

As they will...

But they can outvote
me and push me out

if they feel like it.

Whereas if Priscilla had lived

I would soon have been
active head of the corporation...

in complete control.

Does that seem pertinent?

Yes.

Did you know that Mrs.
Jaffe was to be a director?

Yes.

That was because
Priscilla wanted

all the directors to be women.

Did these gentlemen
know that Miss Eades

intended to put you in charge?

I'd rather let them answer that.

Except, if they say
no, then I'll speak to it.

Very well.

Uh, Mr. Helmar...

join us.

The idea that a man of my
training and temperament

would perform so vicious a deed
and incur so tremendous a risk

is repugnant to every reputable
theory of human conduct.

Well, how do you
explain her backing out

of her appointment with you

and asking you not
to try and find her?

Very simply.

She knew that I was
coming with proof

that Miss Duday was incompetent

to handle the affairs
of a large corporation

and she simply didn't
want to face me and admit it.

What a monstrous liar you are!

Don't call me a liar, you
vicious underhanded...

How dare you!

What about Miss O'Neill?

I have nothing to say
about Miss O'Neill.

Oh, come.

She may be a mere
voluptuous irrelevance

but I need to know

was she intimate
with both Mr. Brucker

and you?

Or-or neither?

How dare you.

You make these vicious
and ignorant insinuations

about a woman who, in her
innocence and modest merit

is so far above all
of this depravity.

Mr. Brucker?

I'm only a... hardworking,
plodding businessman, Mr. Wolfe.

But to the issue of murder

I can only say that I
loved Priscilla Eades

since the day...
As a five-year-old...

That she told her father

"Don't make Jay go
away with the others.

You must keep Jay."

Uh, this was during one
of Softdown's worst slumps.

As you can see, I was kept.

Do you really think that
this is pertinent in any way?

I do, sir.

You can imagine my feelings

knowing that I am
suspected of killing Priscilla

with these hands.

Well... sir?

I have nothing more to say.

You're... y-you're not serious.

Oh, yes, he is.

Ah, Mr. Hagh.

Hmm?

Mr. Hagh

uh, Mr. Brucker told Mr. Goodwin

that perhaps you had
murdered your ex-wife.

Who said that?

Sit down, Mr. Hagh.
I want an answer.

Hey, back off.

I'm being accused of murder.

So is everyone in this room.

Now, sit down and
cook yourself a defense.

This is outrageous.

Thank you, Archie.

Now, why would Mr. Hagh

want Priscilla Eades
dead... Mr. Brucker?

I can't tell you that.

That's a pity,

since the simplest
way for you people

to make me doubt your guilt

would be to offer an
acceptable substitute.

Have you one, Mr. Brucker?

No.

Hmm.

Mr. Quest?

Bernie. Bernie.

Sir...

I have been with this
company 62 years.

In 1933, when I was made
vice president by Nathan Eades

he promised me that one day

I would be given a substantial
share in the corporation.

In 1942, he died

and when his will
was read, I found

that he had broken
his promise to me, so...

I decided to kill

his daughter, Priscilla.

She was then

15 years old.

I decided to strangle her.

Bernie!

My God!

I even worked out the details:

where to find a rope;

how to employ it; what
to do with it afterwards.

And I practiced.

I practiced, sir, by
strangling myself.

But that was ten years ago

and in the end

I finally came to my senses.

I didn't kill her then,
and now what's the point?

I'm too old.

My children are grown
and I have everything I need.

Well, perhaps you
should've strangled yourself.

Yeah.

Have you anything
else to add, Mr. Quest?

And you, Mr. Pitkin.

What have you to say

to remove or
discredit the suspicion

that you are the murderer?

That's not the way
it's done, Mr. Wolfe.

That's un-American.

First, show me
evidence, if there is any

and I will answer it.

Either, sir, you're an ass or
you're masquerading as one.

If I had evidence that one
or more of you were guilty

I wouldn't sit
here half the night

inviting you to jabber.

I would phone the police
to come and get you.

Now, are you capable
of deliberate murder?

No, because of the
way I look at things.

How do you look at things?

From the standpoint
of profit and loss.

For example, if the risk of
the transaction is very great

it should not be
considered at all

no matter what profit is offered

if it is successful.

You apply that to
murder, what do you get?

Profit and loss, Mr. Wolfe.

Hmm.

Mrs. Jaffe, your average income

in Softdown dividends

for the past five years
has been $40,000.

Have you earned

one penny of it?

My father did the earning.

And you, Mr. Hagh.

You are demanding a
share of Softdown profits.

You certainly haven't
earned anything

isn't that correct?

This is perfectly correct.

And I feel no embarrassment

being put in the same class
as the charming Mrs. Jaffe.

The income I will get
from Softdown stocks

is called unearned income.

But actually, I have earned it

by years of devoted service.

I deserve it, unlike them.

Well, Mr. Pitkin, how
about Miss Eades?

Wasn't she also a parasite?

Or-or had her recent
interest in the corporation

made her an earner?

That wasn't a service
to the corporation.

That was an interference.

In a week, she
would've taken title

to 90% of the company
stock, leaving you earners

with nothing but
your meager salaries.

Now, wasn't that deplorable?

Yes, we all thought so.

I think, uh,

I-I've had enough
of you, Mr. Pitk...

I-I've... I've had
enough of all of you.

It's late.

I must digest what I
have heard and seen

and I will make only
this commitment:

Mr. Parker will take no
action on behalf of Mrs. Jaffe

until he has heard from
me sometime tomorrow.

Well, that's it.

Thank you all for coming.

Your coats are
by the front door.

I'd appreciate it
if you left swiftly.

So, which one?

Which one what?

Uh, excuse me...

if you're as stumped as you look

God help your client.

Archie, do you know who killed
Mrs. Folmos and Miss Eades?

Uh... nope.

I do.

But there's a contradiction.

What about Sarah Jaffe?

Is she a snake or a cheat?

No, no, neither.

Nice odds, ten to one.

Then I have a question for her.

Have her here at
11:00 in the morning.

Yes, sir.

Hello... yeah... Nero Wolfe's.

Oh, I'm awfully
sorry, Mr. Goodwin.

Did I wake you?

Uh, not quite there, Mrs. Jaffe.

Why don't you go
ahead and finish it.

Well, I guess I should've
waited until morning

but I thought you
might've found them

and wondered whose they were.

Did you find any keys?

No, did you lose some keys?

Is that what you're saying?

Yes, two on a ring

to the door downstairs
and my apartment.

They were in my bag.

Uh-huh, where are you now?

I'm home in my apartment.

How'd you get in?

The night man, he has a key.

I might've lost them in the taxi

but I thought I
ought to phone you

in case you found them.

I'm sorry I bothered you.

No, no, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Mrs. Jaffe, don't-don't
ring off there.

Uh, is, uh, is Olga there?

No, she doesn't sleep here.

Uh, when did you miss the keys?

While I was coming
up in the elevator.

I went to get them from my
bag and they weren't there.

How come you didn't notice
downstairs on the sidewalk?

The night man was
there with the door open.

Okay, here's what
you've got to do.

You've got to keep that phone

close to your ear
and mouth, okay?

Why?

Million to one it's nothing.

It's just, uh, you lost
some keys, that's all.

I-I'm nervous about
keys getting lost.

Now, how long were you
there before you called me?

After the night man let you in?

I called you right away.

I wanted to get you
before you were asleep.

What do you mean
you're nervous about keys?

I mean I'm coming
over right away.

I'm coming over
now, matter of fact.

What phone are you calling from?

The living room phone.

And that's at the far
end from the foyer?

Yes.

Did you say you're
coming over here?

Yes... listen,
listen very carefully.

This is almost
certainly a false alarm

but... you've got to
listen and don't ring off.

When I say to you, "go
ahead," you say to me, quote:

"I don't think so, but
if you'll hold the line

I'll go to the foyer
and see if it's there."

Unquote. Did you get that?

Yes.

Do you want me to repeat that?

Uh, no, you don't need to.

Okay, good, now
after you say that

you then put the phone
down, you don't ring off

and you walk straight
to the front door

you go through it and
you close it with a bang

you go downstairs
and you wait for me.

You got that?

Yes.

All right, are you going
to do it exactly that way?

Yes, I... I will.

All right, that's the girl.

Now, don't forget to
close it with a bang

because I'm going to be

at the other end of
the phone, listening.

And when I hear
that I'm going to come

and then when I get there
you can have a good laugh

about how nervous I
was about this whole thing

and then we'll decide
what to do next...

Maybe we'll go have a drink...

Anyway... are you ready?

Yes.

Go ahead.

Hold the line, I'll go check
and see if it's in the foyer.

It had been a lot of years

since I'd played
Prisoner's Base.

The phone in the living
room was one base

and the elevator
outside was another

and it was up to Sarah Jaffe

to make the run
without being tagged.

I didn't hear the door bang.

Maybe she forgot...
but I doubted it.

I want in!

What for?

I want to see Sarah Jaffe!

I'm expected!

At this time of night, nuts!

Get in the elevator.

You take me to the sixth floor.

Have you seen or
heard Sarah Jaffe

in the last half hour?

No, no!

Talk fast! Get in there.

That hack, he's going
to have a cop here...

Get out your keys.

You're going to open
the door, you understand?

I'm not supposed
to do that... Aah!

Fast, get it open.

Take the elevator down.

The police will want it.

She had followed
instructions, all right

but had never reached
the outside door.

Three paces from where she lay

he came out of the closet,
struck her with the bookend

then finished up with a doubled
cord from a venetian blind.

Everything was right there.

Hello.

Yeah, listen, it's Archie.

Listen good, all right?

We might get interrupted.

Sarah Jaffe called
me from her apartment.

That's where I am now.

She lost her keys.

The night man let her in.

She asked me what to do

I gave her some instructions.

She listened to me,
but the problem is

she didn't make it
through the front door.

She's on the floor
now, dead, see?

Next time she's in danger,
she should call someone else.

Archie...

I said it is vainglorious

to reproach yourself
for lack of omniscience.

The same is true
for omnipotence.

Report in when you can.

Is this straight, Goodwin?

Yeah, whoever got her keys

got in, conked her on the head

strangled her and
now she's dead.

And you're in Jaffe's
apartment right now?

Yes.

By God, you stay there.

Put that phone down
and get your hands up!

Over the next four hours

I gave a complete account
of the meeting in Wolfe's office

and my phone call
with Sarah Jaffe.

The four of us disposed
of a dozen ham sandwiches

six muskmelons
and a gallon of coffee.

Wait, wait, hold
it, hold it, hold it.

Now, I've just given
you everything I got.

I want something from you.

I want to see Inspector
Cramer right away

and you can fix it for me.

Is this about the case?

Yes. Why won't I do?

Because he can say yes to this.

You can't.

Hey, Pearly.

When did I ever
ask you for a favor?

Never, you're not that
dumb. No, not until now.

I want you to let the
inspector know I'm here.

I'm asking for five minutes

and you will kindly keep
your trap shut. He's busy.

Well, so am I busy, now,
let me just... Come on.

What do you want to ask him?

It's none of your business...

Then you don't see him.

Here he is. Oh, what the hell?

What is this? Now,
this was my idea.

I got something to say.

Well, I haven't got time.

All right, two
minutes, two minutes.

Did Wolfe send you?
No, this was my idea.

While Sarah Jaffe was
on the phone talking to me

her killer was in the closet
waiting for her, all right?

I told her what to do.

I could've told her to go to
an open window and scream.

That might've saved her.

Instead, I had a better idea.

Maybe I was wrong.

What do you want, a medal?

No.

I don't want to go
home, sit on my ass

and wait for Wolfe to
have a fit of genius, see?

I want to do something here.

I want to sit in on your
interviews with the suspects

and maybe I can offer some
comments when it's appropriate...

Typical Wolfe approach.

No, no, this is
strictly personal.

I was on the phone with her.

Maybe I can help.

You know him as
well as I do, Pearly.

Is this straight?

His head's been
swelling a long time

and he got a bad jolt
and he can't take it.

Yeah, I buy it.

We can always toss him out.

All right, Goodwin.

But if this is a dodge...

I'm going to hook you and
I'm going to hook you good.

And not a word to
Wolfe or the press

or anybody else.

Agreed?

Agreed.

I'm going to do a
re-take on Helmar.

You want to come along with me?

All right, let's go.

Okay, Mr. Helmar, we're
going to take it one more time.

I've known her
since she was a baby.

I held her in my arms...

that's right, ja, I remember...

♪ ...bah, bah, bah, let's
shoot the breeze... ♪

been associated with Softdown?

31 years!

Couldn't Mr. Goodwin...?

This is a joke...

perpetrated probably
by the lackey on my left.

I have no idea why I'm
here. This is preposterous.

♪ ...you could hear him say ♪

♪ "Hubba, hubba,
hubba, yuk, yuk..." ♪

Good morning.

Morning.

Good God, you look awful.

Thanks.

What's for breakfast?

Well, you relax, I'll
make you something.

You know this is, uh,
getting to be a habit.

What is?

This early breakfast

around this time in the morning.

Yesterday, I was poaching
eggs for Mr. Wolfe and Saul.

You were what?

Poaching eggs for
Mr. Wolfe and Saul.

Uh-huh, Saul's taking
over my job, I suppose.

I have no idea
what Saul is doing.

I'll be right back.

There was nothing on
the desk that gave any hint

of what Wolfe wanted with Saul

but in the safe I
found a slip of paper

that hadn't been there before...

A notation that Wolfe
had given Saul two grand

from our emergency fund.

Naturally, I tried to decide

what Saul Panzer was supposed
to be doing with 2,000 bucks.

I made a lot of guesses,
but I bought none of them.

What are you,
checking your mascara?

What do you want?

Where the hell have you been?

Look at me, doesn't it show?

Yeah. Let me touch you.

I'm supposed to bring you in.

They want you up at
the commissioner's office.

Give me a minute.

During the last 40 hours

we've had more men on this case

than on any other in my time

and I can't see that
we've gained an inch

and everyone agrees with me.

There were 11 people
present in that room

when those keys were lifted

and we need to get
a line on the lifting.

More questioning won't do it.

We want to take everyone
back to Nero Wolfe's office

and repeat as closely as we can

everything that was said and
done on Thursday evening.

Now, we can't compel

Wolfe to let us in

much less do his part.

So, we want you, Mr. Goodwin

to convince him.

Well, I'll tell you,
you guys are rare.

Rare breed. Rare as
rocking horse manure.

Come on, Goodwin, don't
start with the hard-to-get stuff

and don't be witty.

Ah, poops!

Last Tuesday, six days ago

I was sitting on a
bench in this building.

Mr. Wolfe was dragged
down here by Rowcliff...

and, now, you know
how he felt about it then.

Well, he's still sore as a pup

and now you got a lot of gall
to ask me to ask him to do this.

We need him to say yes.

Hey, everybody needs

something, commissioner.

Inspector Cramer here

needs to stop
chomping his cigar.

Does that stop him?

What phone do I use?

Nero Wolfe speaking.

Uh, yeah, it's Archie.

Have you had breakfast yet?

No.

I'm calling on behalf

of the people of the
state of New York.

Indeed.

Yes, yes. The whole shebang

from the commissioner
down to Lieutenant Rowcliff

which is quite a distance.

How long are you
going to drag this out?

Hey, I'm through dragging.

Here's the point: we're flumped.

We want to do a playback
of last Thursday night

with the original cast

and all you got to
do to play your part

is let us in and just
be there, all right?

I've told my associates
that it's almost certain

you're going to tell
us to go to hell, and...

Very well.

Huh?

When would you like to do this?

Uh... well, as soon as possible?

Very well.

I never refuse a reasonable
request from a client.

This request seems
reasonable, therefore I grant it.

Shall we say 12:00?

Will that be convenient?

Uh... sure.

Yeah, yeah, that'll,
uh, suit them fine.

I must've got the wrong
number because...

Come on, spill it, Goodwin.

He said okay.

We're to be there at noon.

I didn't add that I
had a strong suspicion

there was going to
be script revisions.

Will you all please be seated as
you were on Thursday evening.

Thank you.

Not by any of us, and
not by any of the cast.

I was here...

Okay, I believe
this is the way it was

when Mr. Wolfe entered.

Does anyone disagree?

Then I will ring Mr. Wolfe.

I will be sitting
where Mrs. Jaffe was.

Uh, you gentlemen don't
look very comfortable.

We're all right.

These people have been told

why they have been brought here?

Yes. Everybody's been
completely informed.

Then, may we proceed?

Please do.

There was a little
tingle in my spine.

I knew his look and manner
as well as I did his voice

and there was
no doubt about it...

he was going to
pull one... or try to.

Miss Duday...

and gentlemen.

You understand that the
purpose of this gathering

is for us to iterate our
words and movements

of last Thursday evening.

But before we do so, I
wish to make some remarks.

After you people
left that evening

I told Mr. Goodwin
that I thought I knew

who killed Priscilla Eades
and Margaret Folmos.

I based that on two things:

first, my impressions
of all of you...

And, second, the fact that

Mrs. Folmos was killed.

What?

How does a fact that
Mrs. Folmos was murdered

solve Priscilla Eades murder?

Because the supposition
that the attack on Mrs. Folmos

was solely for the
purpose of getting the keys

to Miss Eades' apartment
was clearly not acceptable

if any alternative could be had.

Well, maybe she, uh,
recognized her attacker

and that's why she was killed.

That assumption
was not impossible

but it implied that the murderer

was an egregious
bungler and I doubted it.

I prefer to assume

exactly the opposite.

That Mrs. Folmos had been killed

not because she
recognized her attacker

but because he knew
she couldn't recognize him.

Is this for effect or do you
think you're getting somewhere?

I am already somewhere.

I just told you who
the murderer is.

Go on and spell it.

He wanted the keys, certainly

but he didn't have to kill
Mrs. Folmos to get them.

He killed her because she
was, herself, a danger to him.

As great a danger

as Miss Eades.

It would have done him

no good to kill the one

unless he killed the other.

I won't say I caught
up with Wolfe

but at least I
could see his dust.

And I admit that I had
also seen Saul Panzer

not with any flourish,
take a gun from his pocket

and rest it on his thigh.

I suppose that the point here
is that Eric Hagh is not Hagh.

He's a ringer?

I knew all this Thursday evening

but there was a contradiction

that had to be solved.

What is that
contradiction, Archie?

Uh, well, if, uh, Sarah Jaffe
knew that it wasn't Hagh

how come she didn't
say so on Thursday night?

Are you saying you knew

who the murderer was that night

and didn't notify anybody?

Phooey. That's childish.

I had no evidence.

You have every scrap of
information, Mr. Bowen, I have

and the services of
Mr. Goodwin, to boot...

Which is a great advantage

when his head is on straight.

It was only a hypothesis.

It only became more

when Mrs. Jaffe was killed

and it was violently, tragically

and completely validated.

But I still had no evidence

so I phoned Saul Panzer
and supplied him with money

a newspaper photo of the
man calling himself Mr. Hagh

and sent him on a flight

to Cahamarka, Peru.

You tell them, Saul.

At Cahamarka

I found people that knew Hagh

and I learned that Hagh
was a professional gambler

that he had not been in
Cahamarka in three years

and that this...
is not Eric Hagh.

Now, everybody there
knew about the paper

that Miss Eades had signed

giving the real
Hagh half her fortune.

Hagh said that it
was her idea to do it

but he was too proud a man

to sponge off a woman

so he just kept the
paper as a souvenir.

I couldn't ask Hagh about it

'cause he had died in a
snowslide three months ago.

But the man that
I had pictures of

the man that I'm
looking at right now

is Sigfreid Meucke, also
a professional gambler

and he was in the
mountains with Hagh

when the slide happened.

Armed with Miss Eades' letter

to her now deceased ex-husband

Meucke decided that
to pursue his claim

for half of Miss Eades estate

would require his
presence in New York.

And, of course, it would
be fatal to his plans

if either Miss Eades
or Mrs. Folmos

ever got a glimpse of him
since they knew he wasn't Hagh.

There was only one
way to solve that difficulty.

They had to die.

So, uh, why didn't
Jaffe say anything?

Because it was not in
her character to do so.

She didn't like to get involved
with anyone or anything.

She came here
Thursday to lend her name

to a legal action

only because she was under
great obligation to Mr. Goodwin.

No, she did not denounce him.

But, somehow

indubitably made him
aware that she knew

he was not Eric Hagh.

He knew immediately that
he was in deadly peril from her

and he acted quickly
and audaciously

taking the keys from her bag.

You waylaid Mrs. Jaffe.

You struck her

and strangled her

exactly as you had done to
Miss Eades and Mrs. Folmos.

I said you were no bungler, sir

but the truth is...

Congratulations, Mr. Wolfe.

You must be very proud.

Well...

Gentlemen.

Come on, get up.

Come on.

Nice socks.

There you are.

Every Friday morning
at 11:00, after Nero Wolfe

comes down from the
plant rooms on the roof

he signs the salary checks.

There seems to
be a check missing.

Ah, and what
check would that be?

Yours.

Well, you know,
I like to get paid

uh, for my labors,
just like the next man

but, uh, last week
I was on leave.

Uh, what-what's this for?

Enough of this flummery.
Take your check.

But, technically, I wasn't
here as your assistant

but as your client

therefore, it is I who
should be paying you.

Now...

at present, this
is all I can afford.

I don't get paid much.

Phooey.

Very well.

Archie!

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