All language subtitles for Nero Wolfe S01E04

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ARCHIE GOODWIN: Every
Friday morning at 11:00

Nero Wolfe signs
the salary checks

for Fritz and Theodore and me.

He never likes spending money

but that particular day

he was more sour than usual.

What's the matter, you
got bugs in the orchids?

No, but I saw
your bag in the hall

and I note your finery.

Straining as you are to be gone.

It is gracious of you
to wait for this pittance.

This meager return for
your excessive labors.

Especially since
the bank balance

is the lowest its
been in two years.

That deserves an
answer. Here it is.

As for finery...

I'm headed to the
country for the weekend.

And I'm dressed accordingly.

Lovely.

As for straining... I'm not.

As for pittance...

Yes, you're right.

As for bank balance...
Well, you have a point.

I'm willing to help.

After all, it's just a
pittance anyway, so...

Archie!

Yes?

Phooey!

Nuts!

By Monday morning, the air
might possibly have cleared

if it hadn't been for
the torn up check.

We both knew the stub would have
to be voided and a new check drawn

but he wasn't going to tell
me to do it without being asked

and I wasn't going to
do it without being told.

A man has his pride.

And with that between us

the stiffness Monday morning
lasted through lunch and beyond

into the afternoon,
and for all I cared

it could have lasted
into the next decade.

Yes, may I help you?

You're Archie Goodwin?

Yes.

Can you bring my
suitcase in, please?

I want to see Nero Wolfe

but of course he's
always up in the plant room

from 4:00 till 6:00.

That's why I chose
this time to come.

I want to see you first.

Well, I'm flattered, but...

The door to the front room.

The door to the dining
room down there on the right.

The office on the left.

Yes.

Hall's wider than I expected.

Shall we go into the office?

I had to go away.

I had to go somewhere
and stay there till October 26.

Someplace where
no one would know

and no one could
possibly find me.

I thought about it

and figured the best place
was Nero Wolfe's house.

A hotel or a rooming
house wouldn't do

because they need to know names.

Would $50 a day be enough?

You won't tell us your name?

No.

Have you committed a crime

or have you been
an accessory to one?

Are you a fugitive
running from the law?

No.

Well, prove it.

That's silly.

I don't have to prove it.

You're going to stick to this

"no names, no identify"?

I certainly intend to.

Well, then you better
leave Mr. Wolfe to me.

I'll bring you up to your
room, I'll leave you there.

When he comes
down, I'll tackle him.

It might help if he
saw some cash.

Seven days, $50 a day.

$350.

With the
understanding, of course

that it's not a deal until
Mr. Wolfe accepts it.

Of course.

And if he accepts,
I'm willing to pay more.

It's bigger than I thought.

I appreciate this, Mr. Goodwin.

Ah, certainly.

You know, I'm going to
have to watch you unpack.

Watch me? Why?

For the kick.

You know, there's probably
a thousand or more people

in the metropolitan area

who think Nero Wolfe
has lived long enough.

And one or more of
them may have decided

to put a copperhead or
a rattler in your hatbox.

Nothing dangerous so far.

I guess that'll do.

I haven't inspected you
handbag or your person.

So, uh, I hope you don't mind...

I locked the door.

Did you put that
money there, Fritz?

No, sir, I did.

Indeed.

Thank you, Fritz.

Well, flummery?

No, sir.

Then what?

Well...

So, I explained.

She seemed sweet and unspoiled

and has fine legs

and if we like her
and get used to her

one of us might
want to marry her.

Phooey, Archie.

However, the
immediate point is this...

Since I am responsible for that
handy little contribution of cash

you may feel like signing
a replacement check

for the one that I
tore up on Friday.

Archie, that was an
admirable performance.

Well, thank you.

Friday, I spoke hastily

and you acted hastily

and the fait accompli

of that torn check
had us at an impasse.

By contriving one of your
fantastically puerile inventions

you have made the
problem itself absurd

and so disposed of it.

Admirable. Very satisfactory.

I...

I didn't know we had 50s in
the emergency cash reserve.

You'd better get rid
of that. Put that back.

I don't like money lying around.

No, see, that didn't
come from the safe.

No, that came
from the visitor...

As described, up
on the south room.

I didn't invent anything

puerile or not.

Nothing was invented, you see?

Now shall I bring her
down and you can decide.

Bah.

Bah?

( bell ringing)

What are you...?

( whistling tune)

Would you like another beer?

Fritz, Fritz...

Yes, a little point
of information.

Our lady visitor that's
upstairs in the south room

is she old, haggard

crippled, deformed, ugly?

No, Archie.

She's quite the opposite.

No, no.

She precisely the opposite.

Thank you, Fritz.

Is it true?

Have you actually
installed a woman

in a room of my house?

Now, not installed, exactly.

You see, that implies
a personal kind of...

Where did you get her?!

I didn't get her as I told you.

She came.

I invented nothing.

I am just reporting.

You take that money

bring it up to her

and give it back
to her right now!

Dinner is in 20 minutes.

I want her out of the
house in ten minutes!

Well, you see, I mean
normally I would... do... that.

But, you see,
acting as your agent

I practically promised
her that you would see her.

Now, if she sees you

she'll probably
drop this mystery act

and she'll divulge her name.

And the resulting fee

will take care of my
salary checks for a year.

Okay, well

she'll just have to get
baccala someplace else.

I shouldn't have mentioned it.

Baccala?

Yeah, I happened
to mention to her

we're having baccala for dinner
and she said, "What is that?"

And I told her, and she said

"Salt Cod isn't fit to eat

no matter how you cook it."

So... all right, all right.

You know what? Skip it.

Since we have to return
that money to her anyway

I've contributed nothing
to the bank account.

And the situation
regarding my salary check

snaps back to this morning

and it leaves me
no alternative...

( doorbell ringing) Archie,
don't tear that check!

Yes, may I help you?

My name is Perry Helmar.

I'm an attorney.

I want to see Nero Wolfe

about a matter
of utmost urgency.

Now ordinarily,
when a stranger calls

I let the caller wait while
I go check with Wolfe.

But I wanted to give
Wolfe another tack to sit on

and postpone a showdown
over our guest upstairs.

Sit right here, please.

Mr. Wolfe, I am a senior partner

at a law firm of highest repute.

A young woman for
whom I am responsible

has just disappeared

and she must be found
as quickly as possible.

So I will pay you $5,000

plus necessary expenses
if you will find her

and have her communicate
with me by October 25

which is, what,
six days from now.

However, I will pay double that

if you produce her in
New York alive and well

by the morning of October 26.

Tell me about her, briefly.

You're an attorney.

You should know what I need
to decide whether to take a job.

Well, sir, why would
you decide to refuse it?

I don't know.

Very well.

I'm am Priscilla
Eades legal guardian.

I am also the
trustee of her property

according to the
will of her father.

So, this evening
I paid a call to her

to discuss some business;
however she was not there.

Her maid became alarmed
because she was expecting

her mistress to come
home for an early dinner...

I don't need that much.

You don't?

I see.

Well, I found on
her writing desk

an envelope addressed to me.

Inside was a handwritten note.

It reads, "Dear Perry, I hope
you won't be too mad at me

"for standing you up.

"I doubt if you will hear
from me before October 26

"but you will then all right.

"Please don't try to find me."

Love, Pris."

Now, October 26 will be
my ward's 25th birthday

when according to the
terms of her father's will

the trust will be terminated

and she will take complete
control of her property.

90% of Softdown...

A large and successful
corporation that makes towels.

There are complications,
however, as there usually are.

Such as?

Such as Eric Hagh,
Priscilla's former husband

and her one disastrous blunder.

She ran away with
him when she was 19

to South America.

She left him after three months,
and then she divorced him.

How does that blunder
complicate her inheritance?

Well, two weeks ago

I received a letter
from Eric Hagh

claiming that she
signed a document

shortly after they were married

granting him half
of her property.

You say her name
was Priscilla Eades?

Yes.

She took back her maiden name.

I think I met her.

Got a picture?

Yes...

I have a picture.

I have two pictures.

( humming softly)

HELMAR: Now I doubt

that his claim has
any legal validity

but morally there
may be a question.

It is indubitably a
question with my ward.

The letter came from Venezuela.

I fear that she might
have gone there

to speak to him and see him.

She's worth looking at.

And I don't just
mean the pictures.

Like I said, I
think I've met her.

In fact, I'm sure
of it... Recently.

I just can't remember
where or when...

It was the night we
had baccala dinner.

What the devil are
you gibbering about?

You heard me.

Baccala dinner.

( clearing throat)

I, uh... will
consider your offer

Mr. Helmar.

If I decide to take it

Mr. Goodwin will contact

your office tomorrow
morning at 10:00.

HELMAR: Tomorrow morning?

I need an answer now.

WOLFE: What
would you think of me

If I, solely based
on information

you supplied me here and now

decided to accept
a job and work on it?

What would I think?

That, sir, is what I want.

Surely not.

Surely you would be
employing a jackass.

If you want the kind of detective
who will dive in heedlessly

based on requests
from a stranger

Mr. Goodwin will give you
some names and addresses.

Very well.

I'll expect a call from
you in the morning.

The subtlety of a rhinoceros.

Bring her down here now.

And here we go.

Mr. Wolfe?

You look exactly right.

Just as I thought.

I... ( clears throat)

don't shake hands with you

because you might
later think it an imposition.

But we'll see.

Sit down, Miss Eades.

What did you call me?

Your name: Eades.

B-but how...?

Why didn't you tell me?

Not that it makes
much difference.

I suppose I'll have
to pay you more.

But I was willing
to do so anyhow.

I told Mr. Goodwin so.

And he told you

he was taking the money
you gave him tentatively.

Conditional on my approval.

Your presence here

Miss Eades, is preposterous.

This is neither a rooming house

nor an asylum for
hysterical women.

It is my office...

I am not hysterical.

Very well, I withdraw it.

It is not an asylum for
unhysterical women.

It is my office and my home.

For you to come here and ask
to be allowed to stay a week...

Sleeping and eating in the
room directly above mine

without revealing your identity

or any of the circumstances
impelling you, was grotesque.

I'm sorry.

I'm terribly sorry.

I'll leave at once.

If you please, there has been

a development.

We have had a visitor.

He left here only
a few minutes ago.

A man named Perry Helmar.

Perry?

Y-you told him I'm here?

No. He wanted to
hire me to find you.

He told me of the communication
he received recently

from your former
husband now in Venezuela

regarding a document
you once signed

giving him half your property.

You did sign such a document?

Yes.

Wasn't that a
foolish thing to do?

Yes, but I was a fool then

so naturally I was foolish.

Mr. Helmar offered to pay
me $10,000 and expenses

if I were to produce
you in New York

alive and well by the
morning of October 26.

Produce me?

That was his phrase.

The moment Mr. Goodwin
recognized the photographs

and informed me

I was, of course,
in an anomalous

position.

A man I've never seen before

comes and offers me $10,000

to find and produce
a certain object

by a certain date.

And, by chance...

By chance alone, that object
is locked in a room in my house.

Is there any reason

I should not disclose it
to him and collect my fee?

I see.

So, that's how it is.

He was lucky he
brought the photographs

for Mr. Goodwin to
recognize, wasn't it?

I suppose I should
congratulate you, Mr. Goodwin.

There was no legal or
professional obstacle

to prevent my
disclosing you to him

and demanding payment.

But, confound it,
there is my self-esteem.

Also, there is Mr. Goodwin.

I have rebuked
him for installing you

and told him to get rid of you.

And if I now collect
ransom for you

he will be impossible to
live with or to work with.

You got that right.

But if my self-esteem

will not let me profit
by your presence here

neither will my self-interest
permit me to suffer loss by it.

So I have two alternative
suggestions to offer.

The first is simple.

You told Mr. Goodwin, in effect

there was no limit

to the amount you
would pay to stay here.

I now say, $10,000.

This is blackmail.

You're saying if I
don't pay you $10,000

you'll tell Perry Helmar I'm
here and you'll get it from him.

I'm saying no such thing.

I said, I had an
alternate suggestion

if you don't like the first one.

You can be out of here in
five minutes, with your luggage

and there will be
no surveillance.

We will forget you exist
until 10:00 tomorrow morning

at which point I shall
phone Mr. Helmar

take his job on the
terms he proposed

and start after you.

I'm not paying you any $10,000.

It's ridiculous.

As you please.

You have no time to lose

if you expect to
make it a job for me.

Archie, will you bring her
luggage down, please?

I can manage. Thanks.

Uh, good morning.

Uh, Fritz said

you wanted to see me.

Yes. Good morning.

What time is it?

8:32.

Oh, please get Mr. Helmar
at his office 10:00 sharp

and put him through
to me upstairs.

Meanwhile, it won't hurt

to ring Miss Eades'
apartment to see if she's there...

if you haven't done so already.

Uh, no, sir.

Then try it.

If she's not at home, we must
be prepared to waste no time.

Get Fred, Saul, Ory.

Have them be here by 11:00.

No, sir. I don't refuse to play

but I will not be a
part of any fudging.

Now, you said we would
forget about her existence

until 10:00 this morning.

I have done so.

But I don't know who or
what you're talking about.

Now, should I come
back upstairs at 10:00

and see if you have
any further instructions?

No.

Very well.

I mean, yes!

Inspector.

Goodwin.

Mr. Wolfe won't be
available for two hours

but you know that
as well as anybody.

Will I do?

Yeah, you will...

for a start.

What?

Last night a woman was murdered

and your fingerprints
were found on her luggage.

How did they get there?

That's no way
to do it, Inspector.

My fingerprints could be
found on women's luggage

from Maine to California.

You want to give me a name

address, description of luggage?

Priscilla Eades.

Oh...

I see.

618 East 74th Street.

( rings buzzer)

A suitcase and a hat box.

Both crocodile.

She was, uh, murdered?

Yes.

And your prints were fresh.

How come?

Well?

Uh, yes, Mr. Wolfe.

Inspector Cramer here
was just informing me

that a woman named
Priscilla Eades was murdered

and that my fingerprints
are all over her luggage.

He wants to know why and
whether or not I knew her.

Did I know her?

GOODWIN: Cramer expressed
appreciation for the information I provided

taking dozens of pages of notes.

After a while, he even
started calling me Archie

which had happened
before, but not often.

I guess it's all on the level.

You too busy to
answer a question

from a citizen in good standing?

Well, I have to be at
the D.A.'s office at 10:30.

Why did you want
to make it so tight

about the time Helmar left here?

It was about an hour later

that Miss Eades left.

Well, around 1:00
a Margaret Fomos

was found in a vestibule
on East 29th Street.

Strangled with a
cord... Not very thick.

Her purse stolen.

Back when she
was still breathing

she was a maid
for Priscilla Eades.

Around 4:00 they found the bag

in a nearby trash can.

And one of the
investigating officers

who was working
with Lieutenant Rowcliff

started to wonder why she
was strangled over a bag.

Going over the contents of
Fomos's bag with her husband

one missing item stuck out...

The keys to Priscilla
Eades' apartment

where she worked.

Hmm, that officer's going
to have your job some day

you know that.

Well, he's welcome to it now.

Priscilla Eades was found
on the floor of her apartment.

She'd been hit in the
head with a fireplace poker

and strangled with a
cord... Not very thick.

The killer was waiting for
her when she got home.

Well...

thank you for
answering the question.

Well, it's the least I could do

considering how cooperative
you've been, Archie.

I believe you, for a change.

Especially since Wolfe
doesn't have a client.

And none in sight.

He'll be in a hell of a humor.

And I don't envy you.

I suppose Mr. Helmar
will soon know

if he doesn't already,
of our stratagem.

And I doubt it's worth the
trouble to communicate with him.

He wanted his ward alive, and...

well, that's out
of the question.

But he's the only
contact we have

and no matter how sore he
is, we should start with him.

Start? Start what? With whom?

We have no client.

She was here.
She wanted to stay.

We kicked her
out. She got killed.

I should think that would have
some bearing on your self-esteem

as you were
discussing last night.

Nonsense.

Okay, I guess I
knew how it would be.

I realize I have, uh,
my personal problem.

I put her back
out on the street.

I put her in the taxi
that sent her home

and now... she got it.

I-I-I will not

undertake a major
and expensive operation

with no chance of income

merely because you have
been piqued by circumstance.

I will do my best to
make people know

that I'm not working for you.

Some won't buy
it; can't help that.

If you decide you'd rather
have me quit, well, okay.

But I don't have
time to discuss it

if I'm going to catch
this guy before lunch.

I had a pretty good
idea where to start.

Priscilla Eades stood to inherit
90% of Softdown, Incorporated

if she made it to
her 25th birthday.

She missed by six days.

I called my friend Lon
Cohen at the Gazette

and learned that now her
90% was going to be divided

between a handful
of Softdown officers.

Goodwin, Detective.

I'm here investigating the
murder of Priscilla Eades.

I want to ask you
a few questions.

We'll start with you at
the end of the table there.

What's your full name?

I'm Jay Luther Brooker.

Now, what does
that "J" stand for?

That's J-A-Y,
Jay. I'm president.

When did you first learn
of Miss Eades' death?

This morning on the radio.

Uh-huh. Can you
explain your whereabouts?

Yes.

I was in bed.

I have a suite at the
Prince Henry Hotel.

ARCHIE: Well, you
understand the situation

Mr. Brooker.

You see, a lot of
people stand to profit

from Miss Eades' death, right?

How much are you going
to inherit from the company?

Well, under the terms

of the will of the late
Nathan Eades... the, uh, son

of the founder
of the business...

19,362 shares of the
common stock come to me.

The same amount goes
to four other people...

Miss Duday

Mr. Quest, Mr. Pitkin

and, uh, Mr. Helmar.

Uh, smaller
amounts go to others.

Right, right, well,
I'll get those names

but I want to...
start here first.

What's your name? Bow tie?

Well, sir... I am Bernard Quest.

I've been with this
business 62 years

and Vice President for 29.

Oh. You?

WOMAN: Viola Duday.

I was Mr. Eades' secretary.

During his last illness,
the last 14 months of his life

I ran the business.

My present title is Assistant
Secretary of the Corporation.

Mm-hmm. And you?

Oliver Pitkin, Secretary and
Treasurer of the corporation.

WOMAN: Um, Daphne O'Neil.

But I don't think I belong

in your little black
book, Mr. Detective.

You see, I wasn't
in Mr. Eades' will.

I was just a good
little girl when he died.

Um, I've only worked at Softdown

for four years now.

Now I'm the Softdown stylist.

DUDAY: Perhaps you should know

that if Miss Eades had
lived until next Monday

Miss O'Neil would be
looking for another job.

Miss Eades did not
appreciate Miss...

Is-is this necessary, Vi?

I think so.

No one's going to be
able to hide anything

so why not shorten the agony?

They'll dig up everything.

That for ten years
before Nate Eades died

you tried to get him to give you

a third of the
business... and failed.

That Ollie here

beneath his mask
of modest efficiency

is fiercely antifeminist

and hates to see a
woman run anything!

My dear Viola...

That my appetite

and ambition for
power are so strong

that you three men
and Perry Helmar

much as you fear
and distrust each other

fear and distrust me more!

And you knew that when
Priscilla was in control

I would have had top authority!

They'll learn that
this... Daphne O'Neil...

My God, what a name
for her... Daphne...

It means "laurel tree."

That she was playing Perry
Helmar and Jay Brooker

against each other

and with October 26 approaching,
she was getting desperate

and so were they.

That Jay...

Aah!

( laughing)

You... you asked for it, Vi

and if you're counting on
Ollie and me being with you

as I think you are, you're
making a big mistake.

ARCHIE: Miss Duday
is absolutely right...

It's all going to come out...
The good and the bad...

And the quicker, the better.

It wouldn't be a bad
thing, Mr. Brooker

if you followed Miss
Duday's example.

Why don't you tell me what
this conference was about today.

Uh, we were saying that we
would have to accept the fact

that the nature of
Miss Eades' murder

created a very unpleasant
situation for all of us.

We agreed that
it was unthinkable

that any of us could possibly

have been involved
in her murder...

Yeah, it's not like any of you

had any motives.

BROOKER: We discussed
the letter that recently arrived

from Eric Hagh, Miss
Eades' former husband.

Do you know about that?

Yes.

The letter was
sent from Venezuela

but he could easily have come
to New York by ship or plane

or... heck, he didn't
even need to come...

He could have hired
someone to kill her.

Why?

We don't know why.

We were only trying to find

some plausible
explanation for her murder.

But how do you figure
Eric Hagh was the killer?

I mean, if he had his document,
all he had to do was wait a week

for Priscilla Eades to
suddenly get a lot more property

which he could come
and claim half of.

DUDAY: One possibility

would be that she had denied
she had signed the document

or that he thought
she was going to

and he was afraid he
would get nothing at all.

No. No, no, 'cause she already
stated that she had signed it.

Had she? To whom?

Uh... look, I'm asking
the questions here, okay?

Now... ( door opens)

Ho, well, for God's sake.

You're under arrest.

Oh, yeah? You
got that in writing?

I don't need writing.

I'm taking you.

I'm Lieutenant Rowcliff,
Manhattan Homicide.

Outside, this man said he
was a policeman, did he?

Isn't he?

No. Did he say he
was a policeman?

We're a pack of
fools! He's a reporter!

Eh, he's no reporter.

( chuckling)

His name is Archie Goodwin...

and he's the confidential
as-s-sistant of Nero Wolfe...

( blows raspberry)

private detective.

( chuckling): Oh-ho-ho-ho,
I'm taking you.

In the act of
impersonating an officer.

Handcuff him and
search him, Doyle.

ARCHIE: Look, look, downstairs

and up here, I
identified myself by name

and I said the word "detective."

I showed my license

which no one
bothered to examine.

I never said I was a policeman.

I asked some questions,
which these people answered.

Now, you can apologize
now and get out.

You asked questions about what?

About the death
of Priscilla Eades.

Oh. You lied to Cramer
when you told him

that Wolfe had no c... client.

No, I never lied about whether
or not he had a c-client or not.

He didn't have one then;

he doesn't have one now.

Then what are you doing here?

I'm here for personal
reasons. Strictly on my own.

Mr. Wolfe has
nothing to do with this.

So, Wolfe has a c... client

and a client... that he
doesn't care to acknowledge.

And you have the
gall to come here

and try to cover for him by
telling another outrageous lie?

You know, I've
taken great pleasure

in lying to you in the past

and surely I will
lie to you again...

Mr. Wolfe... That's enough.

That's more than enough.

Giving false information;

withholding evidence;
material witness;

obstructing justice...

and impersonating an officer.

T... T...

Take him, Doyle!

Hey, be careful... I'm ticklish.

There's one other
thing I wanted to know.

When you saw Priscilla Eades...

GOODWIN: I spent four hours
being asked the same question

by every member of the NYPD

and when they'd run
out of interrogators

they handed me over
to the D.A.'s office

and then stuck me
in the hall to wait.

I figured they at least
owed me a few phone calls

preferably in a quiet office
with a door that closed.

WOLFE: based on
the idiotic assumption

that Mr. Goodwin and I

are old acquaintances.

So what happens today?

Mr. Rowcliff took advantage

of the absence of Mr. Goodwin

whom he fears

and petulantly envies

and entered my house by force.

That's a lie. I rang.

Shut up!

He was ass enough to think

that I would speak with him.

Naturally, I ordered him out

and when I persisted
in my refusal

I turned to leave and
he put a hand on me.

He then took me into
custody, under warrant

conducted me out of my home

and in a rickety old police car

with a headstrong
and paroxysmal driver

brought me to this building.

I had assumed,
charitably, that it was

some major misapprehension

that had driven Mr. Rowcliff
to this frenzied zeal

but I learn from you, Mr. Bowen

that it was merely a
fit of nincompoopery.

That you-you think
that I have a client.

That I know something that
you don't know and would like to

and that you can
bully it out of me.

Well, you can't!

I haven't got it!

But you are correct

in assuming that I
have a client... I do.

I knew it.

As you may know

Mr. Goodwin is not indifferent

to those attributes
of young women

which constitute the
chief reliance of our race

in our gallant struggle against

the menace of the insects.

He is also especially
vulnerable to young women

who have a knack

for stimulating
his love of chivalry

and adventure.

Priscilla Eades
was such a woman.

Within hours of her eviction

by him, at my behest

she was brutally murdered.

He then bounded out of my
house like a man obsessed

after telling me he was
going, single-handed

after the murderer.

It was... pathetic

but also

thoroughly admirable.

And your callous and
churlish treatment of him

leaves me with no alternative.

I am at his service.

You mean Archie
Goodwin is your client?

All that rigmarole

was leading up to that?

I'm hungry.

I had a soda fountain lunch.

I could eat a porcupine
with quills on it.

Let's go home.

A paradise for puerility.

I'm a client, now, Fritz.

And he's a buffoon.

No, sir, I sit here not as a gag

but to avoid misunderstanding.

As a client, the closer
to you, the better.

As an employee

nothing doing until my
personal problem is resolved.

Now, you tell me how much

you want for a retainer
and I'll write a check.

Otherwise I will bound out of
this house like a man obsessed.

Confound it!

I'm helpless. I'm committed.

Yes, sir, you are.

Now, what about a retainer?

No!

You care to hear
how I spent my day?

Care to, no.

But how the devil
can I escape it?

Report, I mean...

Tell me.

Well, we're in a pickle.

You see...

How many of these
five people can you have

in this office by 11:00
tomorrow morning?

As it stands now,
without any bait?

Yes. I wouldn't bet on one.

I'm ready to try.

I might get something from
Lon Cohen to use as bait

if I bought him a
thick enough steak.

Well, do so.

Invite him to dine with us.

Tonight?

Yes.

I'm, uh, in a pickle, Mr. Cohen.

I have committed to
investigate a murder

but I have no entre,
I need a toehold.

Who killed Priscilla Eades?

I intended to ask you.

( chuckling)

I don't know.

You can shed no
light on this subject?

Uh, well

maybe I can, and,
uh, maybe I can't.

Am I in your debt

or are you in my
debt, Mr. Cohen?

All right, that's
the point, isn't it?

Well, I'm happy to
say that we're square.

I'll call it square if
you'll call it square.

You'll call it square?

Yeah.

Means you're in my debt.

What do you know?

Oh, wait a minute.

I'm not in your
debt if it's square.

If it's square, then we're
starting from scratch, okay?

If it's square, I
give you something

I get something
back; that's square.

If it's relevant.

Yeah, and I get an exclusive.

I determine its relevance.

Fine, fine.

Okay, um... Priscilla Eades.

Priscilla Eades
completely and routinely

changed her life
every two years.

She'd go from being
a college student

to being a New
Orleans party girl

to being a South
American housewife

to being a divorced Salvation
Army tambourine shaker

until finally she became
a corporate executive.

How's that for relevance?

What?

Okay.

( clears throat)

How about this, then?

This may help.

Um, an informal poll

of all the reporters
working on this case

favors Oliver
Pitkin as the killer.

And that's just
the male reporters.

The females seem to
like, uh, Viola Duday.

And Franklin, at The Times

he's betting on Sarah Jaffe.

That's just because, you
know, he likes impossible odds.

Sarah Jaffe? Is that a name
that you've come across?

No. No, no reason why you should

unless you like
impossible odds, too.

Sarah Jaffe, actually, was
probably the closest person

to Priscilla Eades.

Was she mentioned in the will?

No, no, no, she already got

ten percent of the
company from her father.

Single?

Widow.

Her husband was
killed in Korea last year.

And sh...

Archie?

Lon was probably
mistaking Wolfe's expression

for indigestion,
but I knew better.

Something Lon said
had got Wolfe thinking

which meant I could
expect a very busy morning.

My conception of a widow
was formed in my early boyhood

from a character
called Widow Rowley.

I have known others since

but the conception had
never been entirely obliterated

so there's always
an element of shock

when I meet a woman who
has been labeled a widow

and I find she has some
teeth can walk without a cane

and doesn't constantly
mutter to herself.

Good morning.

Please, come in.

May I take your hat and coat?

Uh, yes, thanks.

Uh, thank you for seeing
me on such short notice.

Please come in, sit down.

I was in bed when you phoned.

I assume you've had breakfast,
but how about some coffee?

Uh, thank you, yes.

No, not there!

That's my husband's place.

( clearing throat)

You could sit there.

Here?

There.

Olga! Cup of coffee, please.

Coming, ma'am.

Hmm.

It's all right.

I'm a nut, that's all.

You know my husband's dead?

So I understand, yes.

He was in the Reserve.

A major.

Coffee?

When he went away one
day in March a year ago

he left his hat and
coat in the hall.

I didn't put them away.

When I got word
that he had been killed

three months later

they were still there.

That was a year ago,
and there they are.

I'm simply sick to death
of looking at them, but...

there they are.

That's, uh...

that was your husband's
place at breakfast?

Mm. I'm sick of
looking at that, too.

Weren't you surprised
when I told you on the phone

"All right, come up"?

Yeah, a little.

Of course you were.

A while back, I decided
to quit being a nut

and I decided how I would do it.

I would have a
man sit here with me

at breakfast, in Dick's place

and I would have him
take that awful hat and coat

out of that hall, and
did you hear me?

"No, not there... That's
my husband's place."

I simply lost my nerve.

Do you suppose
I really am a nut?

( cup and saucer sliding)

Toast, please.

I'd like some toast.

Oh, excuse me, you know

but if you want this to stick

I should eat something, right?

Yeah.

Right.

No marmalade, jelly?

You know, if you hadn't
been so rude about the bread

I would soon have been crying.

Yeah, I thought so.

Will you take that coat
and hat away with you?

Certainly.

Now, I understand...

that you and Priscilla Eades...

were best friends.

When was the last
time you saw her?

I don't think I want
to talk about it.

Okay.

That's, that's fine.

That's all right.

You owe me three dollars.

What?

Sure. Taxi fare here

to take your husband's
place at breakfast.

That's the only
reason you let me in.

There'll be a little more

'cause I have to stop
at the Salvation Army

to get rid of the hat and coat.

That's three bucks.

I prefer cash.

Have I ever met you before?

Well, not that I remember

and I think I'd remember.

Why?

You seem to know exactly
the right things to say.

Pris and I have been
friends since we was four.

We got to be like sisters.

We shared a place in
the Village after college

and then, all of a
sudden, she was off.

Next thing I knew,
here came a letter

saying she had found
a prince, married him

and they were off for Peru.

Maybe I still have it.

I remember she
enclosed a picture of him.

Since that time, have
you heard from her?

About a month ago.

She phoned.

Back in New York.

Back to her maiden name.

She decided she wanted to
take over her father's business

and wanted my help.

Your help or your shares?

Both.

She said she wanted to elect

a new board of directors...

All women, including me...

And we would elect Viola Duday

president of the corporation.

Is that right... "president
of the corporation"?

Sounds right, sure.

Miss Jaffe, I have
to tell you something.

I'm here under slightly
false pretenses, okay?

I said Mr. Wolfe and I
need some information

and that's true.

We also need some help.

You realize that
with Priscilla gone

that leaves five people
who are basically in control

of the remaining Softdown stock.

Yes. Certainly.

Well, we want you

to bring an action against them.

We want you to ask a court

to get an injunction

restraining them from exercising

any of the rights of
ownership of that stock

until it's determined
whether one or more of them

might have acquired that stock
through commission of a crime.

Why should I do that?

Well, because you
have a legitimate interest

in the proper handling
of the firm's affairs,

see, and you were...
well, you were also

Priscilla's oldest friend.

I don't know, I thought maybe...

Who do you think killed her?

I don't know.

I wish you...

Don't do this.

Miss Jaffe, you realize

that we can't just
march in like the cops.

We have to come
up with something

something to get to
these people, you know

and this will get to them

and Priscilla, she would
be asking the same thing.

I mean, if she could talk.

Well, I won't do it.

I won't do that.

Please show yourself out.

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