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1
00:00:20,347 --> 00:00:22,447
I've got your dilithium crystals right here!
2
00:00:42,844 --> 00:00:45,480
- Ohhh
- Isn't that a beautiful sound?
3
00:00:45,532 --> 00:00:49,282
I know, Ruggiero's Pagliacci
always gets me right here.
4
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,821
I'm not talkin' about the screechin' chimp,
you grease-guzzling commode.
5
00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:56,454
I'm talking about the sweet sound of "cha-ching."
6
00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:58,404
When I turn in this hairy-knuckled canary,
7
00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:01,930
I'm gonna get enough greenbacks
to choke a clitorian moose.
8
00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:03,847
Is money all you ever think about?
9
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:06,563
Well, that and snatcharooskie.
10
00:01:06,564 --> 00:01:08,280
Unless there's a game on.
11
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:13,285
I dream of Six with the large round rack
12
00:01:13,385 --> 00:01:15,753
He is kinda cute,
13
00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,099
what's his name?
14
00:01:17,183 --> 00:01:18,062
Spanky.
15
00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:22,366
How on earth did you name
such a golden-voiced creature Spanky?
16
00:01:22,433 --> 00:01:24,849
Well, whenever he's not singin' he's.
17
00:01:26,535 --> 00:01:27,419
you know...
18
00:01:27,484 --> 00:01:30,102
Oh, next time someone asks you that, lie.
19
00:01:33,011 --> 00:01:34,494
What are you doing?
20
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,344
My toenails. Why?
21
00:01:36,428 --> 00:01:37,986
Cuz it's giving me the creeps!
22
00:01:38,086 --> 00:01:42,516
You men don't realize the price
a woman must pay to be beautiful.
23
00:01:42,816 --> 00:01:44,923
If I were you, I'd ask for my money back.
24
00:01:44,976 --> 00:01:46,409
I'm not going to respond to that.
25
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,936
I'm too much of a lady.
26
00:01:47,937 --> 00:01:52,646
But keep it up and I'm gonna rip
your purple head off and crap down the hole!
27
00:01:52,825 --> 00:01:55,705
Sorry to interrupt your petty conversation
with something really important,
28
00:01:55,706 --> 00:01:58,324
but we're fast approaching the planet Harmonia 7!
29
00:01:58,396 --> 00:01:59,766
So? Pass it.
30
00:01:59,967 --> 00:02:01,447
on the left or right?
31
00:02:01,533 --> 00:02:02,723
That's a toughie.
32
00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:05,451
Let's see what the ol' captain's helper has to say.
33
00:02:05,533 --> 00:02:06,711
Well thank you sir.
34
00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:08,081
It's nice to be consulted...
35
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,859
Not you.
36
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,625
What do ya say lucky-eight,
37
00:02:11,626 --> 00:02:13,311
should we pass on the left?
38
00:02:14,995 --> 00:02:17,029
It is decidedly so.
39
00:02:17,314 --> 00:02:20,205
I'm programmed with two trillion megabytes
40
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,635
of interstellar microdata
41
00:02:21,636 --> 00:02:24,272
and that's how you make a big decision?!
42
00:02:24,383 --> 00:02:26,704
I'm saving your expertise for something big...
43
00:02:26,705 --> 00:02:30,705
like when to change my underwear.
Pass that sucker on the left, Bob.
44
00:02:30,848 --> 00:02:34,227
That would bring us awfully close
to the planet's surface. Are you sure?
45
00:02:34,327 --> 00:02:37,986
Bob, he's our captain
and we have to respect his judgement.
46
00:02:37,987 --> 00:02:40,306
Just do what the idiot says.
47
00:02:40,529 --> 00:02:42,290
Hey, what's with the monkey?
48
00:02:47,712 --> 00:02:49,570
Maybe he's trying to tell us something.
49
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:51,920
Nahhhh.
50
00:02:54,577 --> 00:02:55,577
Ahhhhh! I've been hit!
51
00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:59,587
Captain, we've been struck
by anti-shuttlecraft fire from the planet's surface.
52
00:02:59,699 --> 00:03:02,627
How rude!
We should demand an official apology.
53
00:03:02,735 --> 00:03:04,913
- I'll say.
- Oooooh...
54
00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:08,113
captain? Bob may have sustained serious damage.
55
00:03:08,202 --> 00:03:10,226
Oh it's nothin'. He'll shake if off.
56
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:13,609
Everything's going dark... so dark...
57
00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:16,094
You activated the dimmer switch.
58
00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:17,597
Oh. Sorry.
59
00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:20,768
- Uh!
- We're losing power in the aft engines!
60
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:23,410
The life support systems are starting to fail!
61
00:03:23,613 --> 00:03:25,432
Alright alright, nobody panic!
62
00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:28,663
I know for a fact
bob's been designed to keep a cool head
63
00:03:28,664 --> 00:03:31,530
in just this sort of life threatening situation. Bob?
64
00:03:31,673 --> 00:03:35,065
Aaaaaaaaah!!! I want my mommy!!!
65
00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:37,360
Ok, everybody, it's time for you to panic!
66
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,004
Captain, you have no choice.
67
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:46,246
You'll have to land manually
or we risk becoming a floating tomb.
68
00:03:46,282 --> 00:03:47,496
Any chance he's fakin' it?
69
00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:49,711
Goo goo... ga ga...cookie?
70
00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:51,352
Ok, that answers that question.
71
00:03:51,353 --> 00:03:54,166
Manual override it is. Hold on, folks.
72
00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:08,023
Oh, nice landing.
73
00:04:08,255 --> 00:04:10,269
Hey! You try driving sober.
74
00:04:12,963 --> 00:04:13,979
As you can see,
75
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:17,802
projectiles have damaged
the entire 26th quadrant of the delta sector.
76
00:04:17,885 --> 00:04:19,867
My Martha Stewart action figures?
77
00:04:19,929 --> 00:04:21,572
My masturbatorium?
78
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,036
Both destroyed.
79
00:04:23,442 --> 00:04:24,586
Noooooooooooo!
80
00:04:29,325 --> 00:04:30,146
Get off.
81
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:34,235
Even worse: Unless Bob
gets a pink tuscadaran patch cord quickly...
82
00:04:34,236 --> 00:04:36,140
I'm afraid he's flown his last mission.
83
00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:37,515
A tuscahootin' what?
84
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,283
How did you get to be captain?
85
00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:41,483
New rule, bite me.
86
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,285
According to this,
87
00:04:43,286 --> 00:04:47,182
"Red's Ship Repair Hut & Gunnery"
is 10 kilometers away.
88
00:04:47,183 --> 00:04:50,042
We could slip into town,
buy the patch cord and leave.
89
00:04:50,131 --> 00:04:51,352
Piece of cake.
90
00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:55,718
It looks like a nice enough planet.
91
00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:11,107
T'Nuk, you better stay here.
It's too dangerous.
92
00:05:11,214 --> 00:05:13,500
Chode, you care!
93
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:14,587
Let's face it,
94
00:05:14,588 --> 00:05:17,374
those hunters are bound to mistake you
for a big ugly water buffalo.
95
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:20,196
And when they shoot you,
what if I was standing next to you
96
00:05:20,197 --> 00:05:22,162
and you fell on me?
I might get hurt.
97
00:05:22,482 --> 00:05:24,139
Fucking asshole!
98
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,434
That's captain fucking asshole to you.
99
00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:31,692
Ok, everbody else, lets go!
100
00:05:37,644 --> 00:05:40,345
.
101
00:05:40,379 --> 00:05:43,744
.
102
00:05:43,764 --> 00:05:45,943
These people sure are paranoid!
103
00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:46,949
Maybe,
104
00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:50,878
but the Tagat's guide does say
it's the safest planet in this quadrant.
105
00:05:50,968 --> 00:05:53,810
Why the hell are we stopping?
We're not there yet.
106
00:05:53,961 --> 00:05:55,602
Well, with a place as nice as this,
107
00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:58,460
I wouldn't be surprised
if it was some sort of welcome wagon.
108
00:05:58,613 --> 00:06:01,417
You know,
to make first time visitors feel at home.
109
00:06:04,342 --> 00:06:07,382
Welcome to the galaxy's safest community:
110
00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:09,244
Harmonia 7.
111
00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:10,907
Of course to keep it that way,
112
00:06:10,908 --> 00:06:15,104
our citizens had to surrender
a few minor civil liberties...
113
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:17,077
Urine sample. Extracted.
114
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,966
Each group of visitors is issued
one of our mechanical escorts
115
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:26,917
to keep "an eye" on your safety at all times.
116
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,830
Just think of the Voyeur 6000 as a friend...
117
00:06:31,198 --> 00:06:35,947
... a friend who watches your every move
and never, ever sleeps.
118
00:06:35,948 --> 00:06:38,438
We don't want you to feel like a stranger.
119
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,528
We like to get to know you.
120
00:06:42,251 --> 00:06:46,511
... But this is all done
so that you will feel safe and secure as we do,
121
00:06:46,545 --> 00:06:50,291
during your, hopefully, short visit.
122
00:06:56,058 --> 00:06:58,914
Well... my Tagats guide didn't mention that.
123
00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:05,101
Bob?
Are you still there?
124
00:07:05,298 --> 00:07:10,235
You know I can actually
feel my life's fluids draining away.
125
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,288
Honey, welcome to my world.
126
00:07:12,289 --> 00:07:15,144
I go through a case of moisterizer a day.
127
00:07:15,341 --> 00:07:18,256
Very interesting and now back to me,
the one dying...
128
00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:20,676
Sorry, I'm here for you, kiddo.
129
00:07:20,896 --> 00:07:24,235
All I can think of are regrets.
I mean, I never got to fly a kite,
130
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:27,546
or drink a slushi, or vote...
131
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:30,112
Do you remember where I put
my tortoiseshell barette?!
132
00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:34,548
Gee, no, but why don't I look for it
in the final fleeting moments of my life that remain?
133
00:07:34,766 --> 00:07:36,831
Would ya? You're a doll!
134
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,869
.
135
00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:43,923
.
136
00:07:43,953 --> 00:07:46,500
.
137
00:07:46,545 --> 00:07:49,691
Well it's good to see that they tolerate
another point of view on this planet.
138
00:07:58,468 --> 00:08:00,752
Don't worry folks, you're safe now.
139
00:08:00,753 --> 00:08:01,843
We got 'em.
140
00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:04,102
Uh yeah, gee thanks.
141
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:11,269
Awesome...!
142
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,238
Hi there! My name is Mr. Safety,
143
00:08:14,239 --> 00:08:16,626
and you can see me, and all my friends...
144
00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:18,606
... at Gunland!
145
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:26,185
Remember, guns don't kill people,
146
00:08:26,552 --> 00:08:27,633
bullets do!
147
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:29,652
Can we go to Gunland, please?!
148
00:08:29,772 --> 00:08:31,181
You don't want to go to Gunland.
149
00:08:31,182 --> 00:08:34,073
Teenagers, especially impressionable ones,
150
00:08:34,074 --> 00:08:38,306
should be learning the dangers of weapons
and gunplay. Here, read this.
151
00:08:38,307 --> 00:08:40,347
.
152
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:45,699
Mission accomplished General Aidan.
153
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:46,788
Well done.
154
00:08:46,931 --> 00:08:48,144
Excuse me, but
155
00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:50,369
isn't it hypocritical to
156
00:08:50,370 --> 00:08:54,954
violently blow up a billboard featuring violence
in order to protest violence?
157
00:08:55,037 --> 00:08:57,383
We believe if you want a nonviolent world,
158
00:08:57,384 --> 00:08:59,735
that you have to be willing
to fight to the death for it.
159
00:08:59,736 --> 00:09:02,370
Are you willing to pay the price for peace?!
160
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:08,178
Sorry, the only peace I've ever been interested in
is a piece of ass.
161
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:09,250
Run!
162
00:09:17,885 --> 00:09:18,802
What are you looking at?!
163
00:09:18,939 --> 00:09:20,153
Quick! There's a cab!
164
00:09:26,581 --> 00:09:28,510
Excuse me, we're trying to get to...
165
00:09:28,581 --> 00:09:30,528
Friend or foe?!
Friend or foe?!
166
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,599
How about paying customers?
167
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,273
I assume you've heard of them.
168
00:09:34,311 --> 00:09:38,487
Oh, sorry, I've been shot 2,345 times.
169
00:09:38,488 --> 00:09:41,200
I've probably got more metal in me than you do.
170
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:42,647
So, where ya headin'?
171
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,964
Red's ship repair hut and gunnery
and step on it!
172
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,126
Geez, I feel like one of the Osbournes.
173
00:09:56,127 --> 00:09:59,136
Can't we get rid of "I spy here"?
174
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,274
He might understand you.
Quick - switch to pig latin!
175
00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:05,347
.
176
00:10:05,362 --> 00:10:06,244
.
177
00:10:06,278 --> 00:10:09,974
.
178
00:10:10,008 --> 00:10:12,541
.
179
00:10:12,575 --> 00:10:13,872
.
180
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,883
.
181
00:10:23,816 --> 00:10:25,331
Are you looking for Chode?
182
00:10:27,573 --> 00:10:29,098
Oh, he just flew up towards the sun.
183
00:10:29,099 --> 00:10:31,701
If you stare long enough,
you'll see him.
184
00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:35,419
That was easy.
185
00:10:35,672 --> 00:10:37,155
C'mon, lets head inside.
186
00:10:50,469 --> 00:10:54,318
See, the limb-inator neatly slices off
the limbs of your victim,
187
00:10:54,319 --> 00:10:58,074
and stacks them together
in pleasing geometric shapes.
188
00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:00,240
Does it come in pink?
189
00:11:00,307 --> 00:11:01,724
Or with a matching bag?
190
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,777
- Naw, but it has a splatter guard.
- Ooooh!
191
00:11:05,657 --> 00:11:07,333
- S'cuse me Red?
- Yeah?
192
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:13,069
Hey! Put that down.
We're not here to buy any weapons.
193
00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:17,627
You're not one of them
fig-eatin' peacenicks are ya?
194
00:11:18,065 --> 00:11:19,901
No, no - hell no!
195
00:11:19,902 --> 00:11:21,970
We love the second amendment,
196
00:11:21,971 --> 00:11:24,154
especially the guns and the killing part,
197
00:11:24,155 --> 00:11:26,279
and plan to buy loads of weapons,
198
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,605
but first we need
a pink tuscadaran patch cord for our ship.
199
00:11:34,971 --> 00:11:38,504
Say, where's your Voyeur 6000?
200
00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:41,125
He... went to get some visine.
201
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,742
Do you carry the pink tuscadaran patch cord?
202
00:11:44,009 --> 00:11:48,505
Oh I got it.
But ya do know we only take cash don'tcha?
203
00:11:52,572 --> 00:11:55,072
There's an atm just outside.
204
00:11:55,272 --> 00:11:57,359
Terriffic!
Back in a flash.
205
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:06,584
See? A few clicks from the atm and...
206
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,567
Say mister, can we have some money?
207
00:12:11,371 --> 00:12:15,160
Cute. Here, buy yourself some candy
to rot your teeth.
208
00:12:20,598 --> 00:12:22,313
Candy's gone up.
209
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,431
Thanks mister!
210
00:12:27,617 --> 00:12:31,045
Great. No weapons. No money.
No patch cord. We're screwed.
211
00:12:31,192 --> 00:12:34,733
Maybe we should go into Red's, grab a gun,
and go after those kids!
212
00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:35,906
That wouldn't be right.
213
00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:37,101
Thank you captain.
214
00:12:37,162 --> 00:12:39,077
They're probably much better shots than we are.
215
00:12:39,078 --> 00:12:42,628
Let's sneak up on the little bastards
with a bazooka and blow their heads off!
216
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,946
You're not on this planet one hour
and listen to the both of you.
217
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:48,663
Violence begats more violence.
218
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:51,249
From the 'p' to the 'e' to the "a', 'c' 'e'
219
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,941
the people want peace,
now can't you see?
220
00:12:53,942 --> 00:12:56,554
From the mother to the father
to the daughter to the son
221
00:12:56,555 --> 00:12:59,769
you will never have peace if your god is a gun.
222
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:05,897
We can hock Spanky, buy the patch cord
and still have millions left over!
223
00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:07,605
Thanks again mister!
224
00:13:09,010 --> 00:13:10,502
Me and my big mouth!
225
00:13:12,805 --> 00:13:15,187
Bob?!
Don't go to sleep, Bob!
226
00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:19,917
I don't think I can hold out... much longer.
227
00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:23,208
Nonsense. That's crazy talk.
You're gonna be just fine.
228
00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:26,254
By the way,
did you ever get around to making out a will?
229
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,792
Just curious. No special reason I'm asking.
230
00:13:32,252 --> 00:13:37,086
While Bob lays dying, we're stuck
in this paranoid guntopia with no money,
231
00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:39,280
food or means of defending ourselves.
232
00:13:39,426 --> 00:13:42,139
All thanks to our brilliant captain.
233
00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:46,727
I don't hear any bright ideas
coming from tin pansy alley!
234
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:49,614
You want some of this?
You want some of this?
235
00:13:49,687 --> 00:13:52,220
Fighting each other isn't going
to get our money back.
236
00:13:52,326 --> 00:13:54,842
You're right, I'm going straight to the top.
237
00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:56,140
.
238
00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:01,871
Robbed at gunpoint by a bunch of kids?
239
00:14:01,872 --> 00:14:07,261
I shouldn't really help you because,
lets face it, you're not registered voters.
240
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:09,267
But, I tell you what,
241
00:14:09,268 --> 00:14:12,030
if I hear a tip about these punks,
242
00:14:12,031 --> 00:14:13,682
you'll be the first to know.
243
00:14:13,789 --> 00:14:14,992
Thank you sir.
244
00:14:14,993 --> 00:14:17,825
If there's anything we can do for you, just ask.
245
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,174
Well...
246
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,726
I could use a massage.
247
00:14:22,975 --> 00:14:25,832
I really haven't massaged another man
since prison, so...
248
00:14:25,885 --> 00:14:30,227
I was talking about your sexy lady friend here.
249
00:14:30,326 --> 00:14:33,039
Sorry, the captain has strict rules about my...
250
00:14:33,093 --> 00:14:35,284
...she'll do it. Cash only, no checks or plastic.
251
00:14:35,338 --> 00:14:36,434
Look out!
252
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:41,779
What the hell was that?
253
00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:43,911
My son, Aidan.
254
00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:45,751
The head of the radical pacifists?
255
00:14:46,044 --> 00:14:47,501
'Fraid so.
256
00:14:47,502 --> 00:14:49,829
You see we're estranged.
257
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:53,200
If I could just find some way
to reach out to him...
258
00:14:53,557 --> 00:14:55,371
Hell, I could help you with that.
259
00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:58,730
Really? I would certainly repay the favor,
260
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,976
plus a "little something" for your troubles.
261
00:15:02,066 --> 00:15:05,809
If by "a little something" you mean more cash,
you got a deal!
262
00:15:06,816 --> 00:15:10,000
.
263
00:15:10,991 --> 00:15:12,321
.
264
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:14,676
How are we ever gonna find them?
265
00:15:14,838 --> 00:15:16,527
Kid, I don't know everything.
266
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,555
Do you know anything?
267
00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:20,888
I know a robot who's gonna get his ass kicked.
268
00:15:21,135 --> 00:15:22,357
Hey! Isn't that them?
269
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:30,235
Thank heavens! It's you!
Your father sent us to find you.
270
00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:31,702
I hate my father.
271
00:15:32,138 --> 00:15:33,635
In that case, let me ask you something,
272
00:15:33,636 --> 00:15:35,530
are you gonna eat those french fries?
273
00:15:35,699 --> 00:15:38,195
I'm sure you can have all the french fries you want
274
00:15:38,196 --> 00:15:40,010
after Bob's funeral.
275
00:15:40,832 --> 00:15:42,180
Oh yeah.
About your dad...
276
00:15:42,252 --> 00:15:44,748
If you're here to try and convince me
to reconcile with him,
277
00:15:44,749 --> 00:15:46,278
you're wasting your time.
278
00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:50,353
Look, underneath that twisted gun
crazy nut job exterior of his...
279
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:54,457
beats the heart of a much less
twisted gun crazy nut job.
280
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,571
Ok. That wasn't so great.
How 'bout this.
281
00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:02,245
You only get one dear old dad
and when he's gone...
282
00:16:02,263 --> 00:16:06,070
- The world'll be a better place.
- Oh boy.
283
00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:15,236
You have the hands of an angel.
That feels fantastic.
284
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:19,163
Thanks. You're awfully tense Mr. Governor.
285
00:16:19,164 --> 00:16:21,850
You have knots all up and down your spine.
286
00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:24,163
Actually... that's shrapnel.
287
00:16:24,973 --> 00:16:26,373
Say Six,
288
00:16:26,374 --> 00:16:32,009
How would you like to be the spokesmodel
for my new "guns-for-books" after-school program?
289
00:16:32,081 --> 00:16:33,302
Guns for books?
290
00:16:33,374 --> 00:16:35,493
Yeah, the slogan is:
291
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,634
"A gun is a terrible thing to waste."
292
00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:40,234
Thank you for the offer governor,
293
00:16:40,235 --> 00:16:44,119
but I would have to decline
since the idea is morally reprehensible to me.
294
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,296
Turn over please.
295
00:16:46,944 --> 00:16:48,456
Ah! Sorry...
296
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:51,260
I've just never seen one that big before.
297
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,012
Well thanks.
298
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,069
My father's hung down to his...
299
00:16:55,102 --> 00:16:57,869
I was talking about your monkey diamond.
300
00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:02,297
He-eelp me-eeee!
301
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:03,463
Where'd you get it?
302
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,461
It was a gift from...
303
00:17:05,462 --> 00:17:08,164
some of my loyal constituents.
304
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,717
I see...
305
00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:12,719
Don't you understand?
306
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,554
My father is a warmonger,
a hunter and a gun lover.
307
00:17:16,555 --> 00:17:20,286
I'm an androgynous vegan pacifist,
everything he hates.
308
00:17:20,322 --> 00:17:21,336
Now hold on,
309
00:17:21,337 --> 00:17:25,027
there's bound to be a bit of friction
between two alpha males such as yourselves.
310
00:17:25,028 --> 00:17:29,262
I should know, my own father and I
once fought over the same toothless hooker.
311
00:17:30,897 --> 00:17:32,711
Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
312
00:17:32,712 --> 00:17:35,019
Look, if peace is really so important to you,
313
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:38,963
why can't you be the bigger person
and hold out an olive branch to your old man?
314
00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:42,644
I make no decisions
without consulting my fellow pacifists.
315
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,556
Should I reconcile with my father?
316
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:49,992
Well, if you did,
maybe he'd take the bounty off our heads.
317
00:17:50,073 --> 00:17:53,028
It'd be nice to not be shot on sight for once.
318
00:17:53,145 --> 00:17:55,229
And not to be booed at the Oscars.
319
00:17:55,355 --> 00:17:57,923
And just think,
you could all get new clothes.
320
00:17:57,924 --> 00:18:01,235
Let's face it,
that ninja look is sooo last year.
321
00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:04,882
Well it is.
Don't kill the messenger!
322
00:18:04,945 --> 00:18:07,014
Alright I've made my decision.
323
00:18:08,549 --> 00:18:10,478
Who's there?!
I'm in a meeting.
324
00:18:12,427 --> 00:18:14,267
Hello father.
325
00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:16,448
I can't believe my eyes.
326
00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:19,825
Neither can I.
He's wearin my monkey diamond.
327
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,813
Father, I've missed you.
328
00:18:22,646 --> 00:18:24,497
Well... you never were a great shot.
329
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:27,632
Oh, father...
330
00:18:27,973 --> 00:18:31,617
All is forgiven, my son, all is forgiven.
331
00:18:31,782 --> 00:18:32,832
Do you think
332
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,566
I could have a moment alone...
333
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:35,627
... with my dad?
334
00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:40,001
Sure! We'll leave just as soon as we get
that "something extra" we discussed.
335
00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:41,060
Of course...
336
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:44,214
And I'll take my monkey diamond!
337
00:18:44,215 --> 00:18:45,502
Where'd you get that?
338
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:49,429
Uh... family heirloom.
It was a gift. I found it. E-bay.
339
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,878
Liar! You're in cahoots
with the little hoodlums who robbed me!
340
00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:54,952
Are you suggesting that I would start
341
00:18:54,953 --> 00:18:57,764
a crime wave in order
to stoke the flames of paranoia
342
00:18:57,765 --> 00:19:00,682
which would create a gun culture so powerful
343
00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:03,673
that even sensible gun laws
could never be passed?!
344
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,903
Actually no. I just thought
you knew the kids who robbed us.
345
00:19:07,024 --> 00:19:08,011
Dad...
346
00:19:08,012 --> 00:19:09,195
is it true?
347
00:19:09,263 --> 00:19:11,796
Aidan, you don't understand...
348
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:14,450
I understand all right.
349
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:16,522
Give him back the monkey diamond.
350
00:19:19,481 --> 00:19:23,415
Father, I guess the only way
we're going to understand each other...
351
00:19:23,424 --> 00:19:26,211
is if we speak the same language.
352
00:19:26,846 --> 00:19:29,953
Well, maybe it's time we had a little father-son...
353
00:19:29,954 --> 00:19:33,269
...heart-to-heart.
354
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,067
Uh, sorry to interrupt folks,
355
00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:38,548
but I'm still waiting for that
"something extra" as promised.
356
00:19:41,095 --> 00:19:43,563
On second thought,
seeing father and son together
357
00:19:43,564 --> 00:19:47,941
is reward enough for me.
Bye now! Everybody move! Move! Move!
358
00:19:49,215 --> 00:19:51,100
Damn. Without the money he promised,
359
00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:52,762
Bob's as good as dead,
360
00:19:52,763 --> 00:19:54,874
unless we hock Spanky!
361
00:19:55,508 --> 00:19:58,544
I think this will easily cover
the tuscadaran patch cord.
362
00:19:58,616 --> 00:19:59,844
Where'd you get this?
363
00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:00,737
Don't ask.
364
00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:02,929
We don't have to. Mint?
365
00:20:06,241 --> 00:20:09,949
Perhaps this might be a good time to see
if Red's still has that patch-cord, yes?
366
00:20:14,045 --> 00:20:15,899
The patient... pulled through.
367
00:20:16,094 --> 00:20:17,261
Great!
368
00:20:17,262 --> 00:20:18,711
Get us the hell outta here Bob!
369
00:20:18,808 --> 00:20:21,611
I, for one, am glad to be
out of that shooting gallery.
370
00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:24,073
I'm just stoked we got spanky back.
371
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:27,973
Even though there's a hole in the diamond
and it's now worthless!
372
00:20:28,188 --> 00:20:31,286
What?!
Those rotten brats must have dropped it!
373
00:20:31,494 --> 00:20:33,720
Still... good job Uncle Chode.
374
00:20:33,721 --> 00:20:35,429
You brought peace to the planet.
375
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:39,538
Well, I think I pretty much make a difference
wherever I go,
376
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:44,637
and if I can help one father
reconcile with one son...
377
00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:52,951
what is that filthy monkey doing now?!
378
00:20:53,631 --> 00:20:54,945
Oh! My stars.
379
00:20:55,544 --> 00:20:56,630
Whoaa dude!
380
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,791
Oh my god! Right in my eye!
381
00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:06,085
Somebody plug that damn hole in the diamond!
29261
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