Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,208
[mellow chime]
2
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,576
- This is so fancy.
- First class to LA, baby!
3
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,236
Doesn't get much
better than this.
4
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,084
- Thanks for buying my ticket.
- Of course!
5
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,909
You've never
flown up here before,
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,045
and you needed
to experience it.
7
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:20,020
It's just so much nicer than
being back there in coach
8
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,886
with the trash.
It's rude to say,
9
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:24,558
but the people back there
can be so tacky.
10
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:27,028
Whereas up here,
they're more refined.
11
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:28,763
- Pff. Totally.
12
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,432
I mean, these are the upper
echelons of society.
13
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,101
- Yeah.
- They're the elites.
14
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,199
- Which is why it makes sense
that we're up here
15
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,338
because we're elites now, too.
16
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,174
Oh God, can you imagine
being surrounded
17
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,339
by a bunch of
crying babies right now?
18
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,378
- Oh, I know, gross.
19
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,413
- Can I offer you two
a welcome drink?
20
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,182
- Oh! Um...
- Oh!
21
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,247
- Yes, please!
- Yes, please!
22
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,090
- Thank you.
23
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,685
To us.
- To us.
24
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:56,788
- Mmm...
- Mmm!
25
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,560
[upbeat music]
26
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,186
- Lance says everything
looks good at the venue
27
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,361
for Chase's show tomorrow.
- I can't believe
28
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,630
Lance put together
an entire fashion show.
29
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,632
- I know.
He's been so on top of it.
30
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,244
I think the show's
gonna be really legit.
31
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,542
Anna Wintour is coming!
32
00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:13,713
- She is?
- Yeah, she and Chase text.
33
00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:16,143
Also, I got
Alessia Cara's email
34
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,652
and personally
invited her, too.
35
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,775
- You mean your peer
in the industry?
36
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,480
- Cary, I actually do think
we're peers now.
37
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,493
I mean, I'm killing it
with Chase and Mom.
38
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,085
She'd be lucky to meet me.
39
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,663
- Oh my God, Brooke.
- I really think
40
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,155
she could come!
I mean, I haven't heard back,
41
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,657
and she is currently in London,
42
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,159
and it's a 12-hour flight
from London
43
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,601
for a--how long's
a fashion show?
44
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,934
- Seven minutes?
- Oof. Still.
45
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,629
She could come!
- [small laugh] Sure, Brooke.
46
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,574
- Okay, no more work
talk, please.
47
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,066
Mom and Chase fly out tomorrow.
48
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:48,239
That means
I have one whole day to myself
49
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,678
to not think about work.
50
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,946
I don't even want people
knowing I'm a manager.
51
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:54,111
[phone buzzing]
- Yes!
52
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,850
This guy I messaged on Grindr
in LA just got back to me.
53
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,850
- Ooh, what are you guys
talking about?
54
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,192
- Well, I said hi,
and he just sent me
55
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,157
a photo of his full butthole.
56
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:04,786
- Cary, you have to
send him one back.
57
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,458
- [laughs] That's--
I dunno.
58
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,457
Maybe I should.
59
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,429
- Wait...really?
60
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,298
- I mean, I wanna
be having more sex.
61
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,866
And after Dean Brennon,
it's nice that this is
62
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,939
a real live gay guy
who wants to actually fuck me.
63
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:22,343
I'm gonna do it?
64
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,352
Yeah! I'm going to take
a photo of my butthole
65
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,805
and send it to this man.
66
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,720
- Cary, this is such
beautiful progress.
67
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,276
- Thank you, sister.
68
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,718
- You taking a hole pic,
too?
69
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,633
- Yeah.
70
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:41,561
- [exhales]
[soft music playing]
71
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,401
- [muffled] I love this flight
from New York to LA.
72
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:47,869
- Sorry, what?
- I was just saying
73
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,797
I love this flight
from New York to LA.
74
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:53,009
There's always so many people
in the industry on board.
75
00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:55,582
- Oh. Yeah.
76
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,575
- Last week, Teri Hatcher
was where you are.
77
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,508
I got to pick her brain about
"Desperate Housewives"
78
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:01,750
the whole flight.
79
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,918
- How fun for her.
80
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,517
- Are you in the industry?
81
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,915
- No, no.
82
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,215
- I thought I heard
you're a manager.
83
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,694
- Oh, yes, I am, of a...
UPS store.
84
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,001
So, not what
you were looking for.
85
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:18,833
I'll see you when
the snacks come by.
86
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,871
- Okay, how do we do this?
87
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,244
[camera lens clicks]
88
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,514
Oh my God,
that's what you are?
89
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,080
[grunting]
90
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:36,251
[click]
91
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,894
Okay, well, that made it
look enormous.
92
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:43,191
[grunts]
[click]
93
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,056
- Skypoint Airlines flight 423to LAX--
94
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,934
- Aw. That one's
actually kinda pretty.
95
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:50,797
Okay, hope I did it right.
96
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,027
- Is it a picture
of your butthole?
97
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,568
- Yeah.
- Is there shit
98
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:54,903
pouring out of it?
- No.
99
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,298
- Then I think
you did it right.
100
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,542
- Okay, I'm sending it.
101
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,614
Now I can just enjoy
the rest of the flight.
102
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,780
Let's see
what movies they have.
103
00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:07,308
[phone buzzes]
104
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,823
- Oh. That guy on Grindr
sent me his hole.
105
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,417
It's pretty good.
- Let me see.
106
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,160
Holy shit,
this is Cary Dubek!
107
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:17,955
- Wait, the actor?
How do you know?
108
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:19,887
- 'Cause it's a live photo.
When you press it,
109
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,329
you can see his face at
the beginning, concentrating.
110
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,498
Look. Just hold it down.
111
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,397
- Oh, Mike, this is insane!
- I know.
112
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,067
You have to text this to me.
113
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,995
- Okay, but don't send it
to anybody else.
114
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,514
- I won't.
115
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,505
[phone buzzes]
- Why did Mike just send me
116
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,007
a picture of a butthole?
117
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,509
Oh, wait, it's live.
118
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,311
Oh my God, it's Cary Dubek.
119
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:43,253
- What? [gasps]
You have to send that to me.
120
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,846
- Ooh, me too.
[phone buzzes]
121
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,351
- It's his full hole!
122
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,692
- Whose hole?
- Cary Dubek's.
123
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,087
- Ooh, PopChips!
124
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,515
- Oh God, you have to
send that to me.
125
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:51,823
- Send it to all of us.
126
00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,434
[phone buzzes]
- So, you were just
127
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:54,833
on the subway
and this was airdropped to you?
128
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,597
- Yeah.
He must be freaking out.
129
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,203
- You have to send this
to the "Frozen" thread.
130
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,998
- I'm gonna send it
to the whole Broadway one,
131
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:01,599
'cause you know the "Wicked"
guys are gonna want it, too.
132
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:02,638
[mellow chime]
- Welcome
133
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,042
to sunny Los Angeles
134
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,037
where the local timeis 1:19 P.M.
135
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,509
[phone buzzes]
136
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,007
- That's weird.
137
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,538
I just got a text
from this gay guy
138
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,013
I used to dance with
who lives in Montreal now.
139
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,722
"Just wanted to make sure
your brother saw this."
140
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,775
And there's a photo...
141
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,450
Hold on, it's still loading.
142
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,864
- [gasps] Oh!
- Ohhhhhh!
143
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,889
- Oh my God,
my hole is everywhere!
144
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,731
How did this happen?
It's on LeakedMeat!
145
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,386
- It is?
- Yes! This sucks.
146
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,564
- I know, I love that site!
Now I can't go on
147
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,833
without seeing
my brother's hole--again?
148
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,399
Hi, checking in, Brooke Dubek.
149
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,901
- Isn't this place fancy?
150
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,403
I heard this is where
the celebs stay.
151
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,414
- Oh, shit.
- Are you in the industry?
152
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,006
- Nope. I make...
153
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,205
toilets.
- Fuck!
154
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:44,639
- Oh.
- Yeah.
155
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,081
So I guess that's
the end of this convo, huh?
156
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,580
- Oh my God, it's spreading
to every celeb porn site.
157
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,082
What's FapNation?
- Fuck, Cary.
158
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,994
I'm so sorry
I told you to send your hole.
159
00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:56,093
I guess I forgot that
you're, like, famous now.
160
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,519
- What? I'm not famous!
161
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,760
- Yes, you are!
Night Nurse, Dean Brennon?
162
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,659
- Neither of those are real.
- Doesn't matter.
163
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,758
You can't go on Grindr like
a regular person anymore.
164
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,233
Honestly,
you should kinda be proud.
165
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:06,701
- I truly don't know
how this happened.
166
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,096
I didn't even tell
this guy who I was!
167
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,871
- Wait. You didn't?
- No!
168
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,106
I mean, my profile says
"Cary, 29, Actor,"
169
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,935
I don't show my face.
He must have just guessed.
170
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,181
- Then this is great!
171
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:17,842
You can just deny
it's your hole.
172
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,610
I mean, it's your word
against his.
173
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,412
- Yeah! Yeah, you're right.
174
00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:22,954
What do I do?
175
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,379
- I dunno,
go on Instagram Live
176
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:25,750
and say it wasn't you.
177
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,792
And then literally
put this behind you
178
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,387
and go fuck someone else.
179
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:30,555
- Right.
- Here you go,
180
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,093
two Royal Executive Suites
181
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,761
and a full-day spa package
for one of the rooms.
182
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,932
- Everyone needs a toilet.
183
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,800
- Okay..."Hey, guys.
184
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,539
A butthole has recently
been brought to my atten--"
185
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,202
No. "Hello. Some of you
186
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,140
have seen a lewd photograph
of a bottom--"
187
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,609
It's too formal. "Hey, y'all--"
Okay, obviously not that.
188
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,879
[scoffs]
189
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,284
[ahem]
[ding ding]
190
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:58,117
Hey, guys. Cary Dubek here.
191
00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:02,487
Apparently, there is a photo
of a butthole going around,
192
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,428
and some people
are saying that it's mine,
193
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:09,261
so I just wanted to pop on here
and clear some things up.
194
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,628
It is not my butthole,
195
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:15,101
I've never sent my butthole
to anyone...
196
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,598
Okay, we're getting
some comments.
197
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:22,280
Marc says, "It's definitely
your hole, dude."
198
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:28,276
Okay. Again, Marc,
it is not my hole.
199
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:29,847
Okay, Marc now says,
200
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:33,649
"LOL it was
a live photo, dude."
201
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:39,361
Okay, uh, Marc, I don't know
what you mean by live, but--
202
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,859
"When you press it,
it moves
203
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,531
and your face is in it..."
204
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,039
Uh...I--[laughs, mutters]
205
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,695
Well, I don't know
whose face that is.
206
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:55,344
Okay, Ron says, "You're also
wearing the same sweater now
207
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,111
as you are in the photo."
208
00:07:57,176 --> 00:08:00,876
Well, guess that is just
a coinciden--And, Kyle says,
209
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,780
"LOL, you just made this
so much worse, dude."
210
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:06,390
All right, guys, well, thanks
so much for the feedback.
211
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,786
This has been super fun.
212
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,464
I do have to run,
so peace and love, y'all!
213
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,633
God--ohhh!
214
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,862
- Mmm...
215
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,127
- Mind if I join you?
- Ughhh.
216
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,003
Sure.
217
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,243
- So are you in the--
- Nope!
218
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,682
I'm not in the industry.
I'm...
219
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:34,254
what's the most
boring job you can think of?
220
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,477
- An accountant?
- Yep! That's what I am.
221
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,249
Night, night.
222
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,251
Uhh--ooh--
223
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,922
- Oh!
- Oh, fuck!
224
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,520
Oh...what the hell?
[groans]
225
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,090
- Oh my God, your teeth.
226
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,663
- What? Oh no, I'm fine.
227
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,828
I'm just...I'm bleeding.
228
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,097
- It's okay. I met a dentist
at the hot tub earlier.
229
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,269
Let me go get them.
- No, please.
230
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,098
I do not wanna
talk to a dentist.
231
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,514
- Here she is!
232
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:03,112
Here's the woman
who told me she was a dentist.
233
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,439
- Hi.
234
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,284
- Alessia Cara.
[dramatic string music]
235
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,881
She came.
236
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:16,216
- Mr. Dubek, the lawyer
will see you now.
237
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:23,302
- Hi, um, this is embarrassing,
238
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,426
but I need help getting a photo
of my, uh,
239
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:29,902
BH off the internet?
- Sorry!
240
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,309
Wrong office.
It's the one next door.
241
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,235
- Oh, okay.
Thank you for your time.
242
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:40,278
- Hi there, I need help
getting a photo of my BH--
243
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,109
- The office next door
the other way.
244
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:44,654
- Okay, well, why don't you
just bring me there?
245
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,648
- How's it looking, Doctor?
- It's hard to say.
246
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:52,124
- Honestly, really, I am fine.
- Relax, you're in good hands.
247
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,934
When I asked her
where she went to school,
248
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,563
she said Dentist University.
249
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,658
- Ah.
- Sounds like one of
250
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,633
the main ones.
And this lady's an accountant.
251
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:00,832
- Yeah.
- Cool.
252
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,233
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, I'm gonna
253
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,301
go get some towels--
I'll be right back.
254
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,339
- Okay, you do know
I'm not a dentist, right?
255
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,812
- Uh, yeah, I am well aware
256
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,680
that you are pop singer
Alessia Cara.
257
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,978
- Okay.
- It's insane she believed you.
258
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:16,851
You look like
a full gorgeous child.
259
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,179
- Yeah.
- And actually,
260
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,624
I'm not an accountant. I'm--
261
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,645
- Brooke Dubek.
262
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,189
- Wait, did I say my name
or did you?
263
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,861
- I did. I know who you are.
264
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,689
- You do?
- Okay, here are the towels.
265
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,804
Anything else, Doctor?
- Yes, yep, she needs gloves.
266
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,134
So you should probably leave,
get us gloves.
267
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,770
- Oh, and floss!
- You got it!
268
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,196
- Wait--why floss?
269
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,844
- Well, I'm not a dentist,
270
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,869
but I can tell you
very clearly you need to floss.
271
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,214
- Oh. Cool.
272
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,810
- Shouldn't be a problem
to get the photo down.
273
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:46,948
We can send cease and desists
274
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,283
to the websites that have it.
275
00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,277
- Great, great. Thank you.
Thanks.
276
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,219
- I'm assuming it's on
all the usual suspects?
277
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,388
LeakedMeat?
- Yes.
278
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,657
- FapNation?
- Yes.
279
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,061
- CelebrityAss.cum?
- Yes.
280
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,886
- CelebrityCum.ass?
- We don't have to
281
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,331
keep saying
them all out loud, but yeah.
282
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,863
I also need to send one
to Twitter,
283
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,961
'cause I tried to deny
it was me in the photo
284
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,630
but didn't realize
my face was in it,
285
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:06,998
so people are making fun of me
286
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,496
and posting memes and stuff--
287
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,067
- Oh, that's bad.
- Yeah. Bowen Yang from "SNL"
288
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,740
even made a lip-sync
of my denial video.
289
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,839
- Can I see it?
- Yeah.
290
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,580
- "Hey, guys, Cary Dubek here.
291
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,680
Apparently, there is a photoof a butthole going around,
292
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,520
and some people are saying--"
- This is great.
293
00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:28,415
- Yeah, he's very talented.
- Oh, hold on, it's not done.
294
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,991
- "So I just wantedto pop on here..."
295
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,056
- I feel bad lying to people,
obviously.
296
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,988
It's just sometimes I just
kind of want time to myself
297
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,830
to not have to like, talk about
the industry, you know.
298
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,996
- Yeah, I totally get it.
- It's actually kind of funny
299
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,065
you were doing
the same exact thing.
300
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,337
- I guess
we're basically the same.
301
00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:47,542
Some might even say
we're peers in the industry.
302
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:48,766
- Yeah.
[laughs]
303
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,512
- Sorry. So you would say
we're peers in the industry?
304
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:53,908
- What do you mean? Yeah.
305
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:55,613
It's actually really lucky
this happened.
306
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,045
I've been meaning to meet you
for a very long time.
307
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:58,716
- This is everything
I ever wanted.
308
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,894
- Everything that you've done
for Chase and his career,
309
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:04,123
like the fashion line,
the cologne--Bambi!
310
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,893
I would kill for a career
like his.
311
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:09,099
All I do is sing.
It's humiliating.
312
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,725
Ask me what percent
of the Nets I own.
313
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,466
- What percent?
- No percent.
314
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,095
I've never even been sued.
315
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,040
- Oh, you should absolutely
have been sued by now.
316
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,742
Even I've been sued.
- Thank you!
317
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,573
This is exactly
what I have been meaning
318
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:22,308
to talk to you about actually--
I haven't really been psyched
319
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,808
on my managers lately,
so I was maybe wondering--
320
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,450
- Okay, I got the gloves
and the floss.
321
00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,745
- Get the fuck out, Donna!
322
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:31,324
- Okay, Marc now says,"LOL, it was a live photo--"
323
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,617
- [laughing]
God, I love him.
324
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,288
And it's so nice
to see someone pop
325
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,116
right away on "SNL," you know?
- Yes, the whole new cast
326
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:37,662
is really
coming into their own.
327
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,087
I'm sorry, can we get
back to me, please?
328
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,988
- Of course.
I can see why
329
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,963
you'd wanna send
a cease and desist to Twitter.
330
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,332
- Thank you, yeah.
- Unfortunately,
331
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,800
that's not
a thing you can do.
332
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,668
It's Twitter.
Once you're on Twitter
333
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,737
you're, legally speaking,
fucked.
334
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,002
- Oh my God.
335
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,273
[phone buzzes]
Sorry.
336
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,636
Hey.
- Cary!
337
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,180
You are not gonna believe this!
338
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,175
Alessia Cara just asked me
to manage her!
339
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,248
- Wait, what? She's here?
- Yeah.
340
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,283
She came, knew who I was,
called me her peer out loud,
341
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,990
and then asked me
to manage her!
342
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:08,285
- That is literally so insane.
- I know.
343
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,524
She's going on tour on Monday,
and she wants me to come along
344
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,193
to discuss
the next "phase of her career."
345
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,362
- Holy shit.
Are you gonna do it?
346
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,861
- Yeah! I mean...
347
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,302
Chase is killing it,
Mom has two hit shows
348
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,995
'cause of me.
I think I can do this.
349
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,341
Where are you?I wanna celebrate!
350
00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:24,935
- Yeah.
I-I want to, but I'm busy
351
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,474
getting fucked
like left and right.
352
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,669
- Oh my God, is this
just how you talk now?
353
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,314
Okay, well, have fun.
- All right, bye.
354
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:33,206
Okay, so,
what are my options here?
355
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,652
- You just have to wait it out.
356
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:36,153
You'll be made fun
of a little longer,
357
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,175
then people will move on.
The worst is over--
358
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:41,054
- Holy shit, wait, oh my God,
it's on TV now?
359
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,463
- A lewd photographof Cary Dubek,
360
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,122
who's recently been linkedto Dean Brennon
361
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,031
and stars in the upcoming film"Night Nurse"...
362
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,556
- Both not real.
363
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,231
- Is making the roundson Twitter.
364
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,129
And now Skypoint Airlines...
- Oh, God.
365
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,828
- CEO Carson Bell has beenforced to issue a statement.
366
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,400
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- "Skypoint
367
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,242
"is a family airline.We condemn the way
368
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,567
"Mr. Dubek used his buttin our lavatory.
369
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:01,813
- What?
- "Our customers should be
370
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,344
"able to kick back, relax,
371
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,809
"and use their bare toesto select a movie
372
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,408
"withoutthis disgusting behavior
373
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,353
happening next to them."
- How does he even know
374
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,515
I took it on a plane?
Even if it is live,
375
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,053
you can't tell where I am!
376
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,191
- Did you watch it
with the sound on?
377
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:15,893
Live photos also have sound.
378
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,718
- Skypoint Airlinesflight 423 to LAX--
379
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:19,263
- God damn it!
380
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,898
I know this isn't your fault,
but I do not like you.
381
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,262
[rapid footsteps]
382
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,934
- Yo, what's up, dude?
383
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,202
- Hey, so I just got
some pretty big news,
384
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,668
and I could think of no friend
385
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,496
I would rather celebrate
with than you.
386
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:35,171
- Cary's busy?
- Yeah, he's getting railed.
387
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,941
But, um, I kind of
was hoping you and Leah
388
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,712
would wanna drink some
champagne with me, please?
389
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:41,608
- She actually doesn't
get in 'til tomorrow,
390
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,684
but hell yeah, I'm down.
What're we celebrating?
391
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,620
- Okay, so you know
Alessia Cara?
392
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,849
- Of course.
393
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,460
- Hey Shuli, are you here yet?
394
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,615
I could really use your help--
395
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,733
Oh, thank God. Shuli.
396
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:55,061
You're a publicist.
Maybe you can do something.
397
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,027
- She's not a publicist.
She's a milkman.
398
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,456
- That's right. I'm a milkman.
399
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,104
- No, I don't have time
for this, okay?
400
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,969
My butthole
was just on the news!
401
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,237
[phone buzzes]
- What?
402
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,702
- Shit, Busy Phillips
403
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,470
just retweeted the clip!
404
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,542
"Everybody needs to see this.
405
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,107
"Skypoint Airlines
is homophobic.
406
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,150
@CaryDubek, I stand with you
and your hole"?
407
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,746
No, Busy!
408
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:19,054
Don't stand with my hole.
You're making this worse.
409
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:22,118
- I'm not sure why you need
a publicist--this is great.
410
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:24,291
You just keep getting
more and more famous.
411
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:28,090
Then again, what do I know?
I sell milk.
412
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,660
- Deliver it?
- Collect.
413
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,932
- I don't wanna be famous
for this.
414
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,967
God, I finally got confidence
to send someone
415
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,896
a picture of my butthole,
and it ruins my life.
416
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,339
I gotta find this guy.
417
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,737
I am literally gonna beat
the shit out of him.
418
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,936
Says he's 4 miles away.
419
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,138
4.1. He's this way.
420
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,514
- [soft chuckle]
421
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,145
- Ladies and gentlemen,
she didn't know
422
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,020
what she was gonna do
with her life ten months ago
423
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:58,519
but was just asked
to manage Alessia Cara!
424
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,534
Give it up for Brooooke
425
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,527
Dubeeeek!
426
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,799
- Hey-ohhh!
- [giggling]
427
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,325
You see that?
Hey-ah!
428
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,144
- Yeah!
- Uhh!
429
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,542
- Let's go!
430
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,007
Yeah, yeah!
- Uhh! Uhh!
431
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,535
- And how many nuggets
are in an order?
432
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,710
Okay, we will do six orders
of nuggets.
433
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,339
Oh, and are they in a shape?
434
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,684
Like, are they a dinosaur
or are they just round?
435
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:23,119
[mouthing] Round.
Okay, that's fine.
436
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:25,382
- Okay, he was the 16th
president of the United States.
437
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,194
- Alessia Cara!
- Yes!
438
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,316
Okay, he directed "E.T."
- Uh...
439
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:30,618
Alessia Cara!
- Yes.
440
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:31,989
Just watch this.
- ♪ Ready ♪
441
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,887
♪ Ready please ♪
442
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,733
- [gasps] Ohh...
443
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,128
Oh!
- Wah!
444
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,056
- Aah!
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
445
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,404
[scatting]
446
00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:42,196
- And do you have tater tots?
447
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,471
We will also do
six orders of tater tots.
448
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:46,306
[gasps]
And can we get some cheese?
449
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:47,972
"On what?"
A plate.
450
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,140
- Lance, you always call
451
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,579
right when I'm taking a shit!
452
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,577
- What's up, Aunt Connie?
- Hi, Connie.
453
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,079
- Wait, is that Brooke?
454
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:59,420
- Honey Pistachio,
Lavender Rosemary, Chocolate.
455
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,388
I think our kids
just want chocolate.
456
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:05,387
- Connie, Brooke, just got
asked to manage Alessia Cara.
457
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:09,231
- Oh, honey, that is amazing.I'm so proud of you.
458
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:10,928
Who is Alessia Cara?
459
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,360
[both laughing]
460
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:13,701
- Aah! Ha ha!
461
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,826
- Ho!
- Whoo!
462
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:24,177
- What?
463
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:30,222
Hi, um...can I go inside here?
464
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:31,382
- Password.
465
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,290
- Please, I need to...
466
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,385
talk to someone
about my hole.
467
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:36,794
- Yep. That's it.
- What?
468
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,119
- Right through
the double doors.
469
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,293
You can check
your clothes inside.
470
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,932
- Check my clothes?
471
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:45,627
[thumping dance music]
472
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:51,041
♪ ♪
473
00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:00,209
- Hey, Hole!
Congrats on Busy!
474
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:03,076
- Thank you, sir.
475
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,550
- Oh hey, you again!
476
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:08,818
We've had two
very different days.
477
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:12,261
- Yup.
- But congrats on Busy!
478
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:17,333
- Wait, Cary Dubek?
479
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,799
It's me.
- Cameron?
480
00:18:20,899 --> 00:18:24,499
How are you here too?
And where's...Nooner?
481
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,443
- Oh, our pilot didn't get
picked up, so we got divorced.
482
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:29,806
And now I'm this.
483
00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:32,308
Yeah, I live here in LA,
and I'm dating this new guy.
484
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:35,181
His name's Aaron Schock.
You wanna meet him?
485
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,020
I think he's here somewhere.
486
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,516
Aaron!
- Sorry, No, no.
487
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,947
I'm a little busy right now.
488
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,348
- Oh, that reminds me.
489
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,493
I saw on Twitter.
Congrats on--
490
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,919
- Busy. Yes, thank you.
491
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,590
- No, Julianne Moore.
492
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:49,599
- Wait, what?
493
00:18:49,661 --> 00:18:52,931
- Yeah, you know what's
pretty cool to think about?
494
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:53,928
- What?
495
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,699
- This...
- Oh!
496
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,871
- Is one of the best days
of your entire life,
497
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,311
and you're still in it.
Like, you're in one of
498
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:04,483
the best days of your life
ever...
499
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,883
right...now.
500
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,379
- [laughs]
That is such a parody
501
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,181
of something you say
when you're high.
502
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:13,893
- I'm serious, B.
It's cool.
503
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,216
- Yeah. No, yeah,
I mean, it is cool.
504
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,862
And you're always gonna
remember tomorrow.
505
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,227
I mean, you designed
a full fashion line.
506
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,526
I always knew
you could do that.
507
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:27,227
- [soft snickering]
508
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,072
- What?
- No fucking way, dude.
509
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,138
- What are you talking about?
- There's no way
510
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,073
you ever thought
I'd have my own fashion line.
511
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,573
- You're right.
- Thank you.
512
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,844
- I absolutely did not
believe in you.
513
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,380
But I mean, in my defense,
I didn't believe in me either.
514
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:43,079
Plus, when we were together,
the best idea you had
515
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,582
was "edible shoes."
And now look at you!
516
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:49,094
That's a full rack
of real clothes that you made.
517
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,088
- Thanks, B.
518
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,730
But I'll have you know,
one of those fits is edible.
519
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,756
- Is it the one
with the flies on it?
520
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,102
- Yeah.
521
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,667
- Earlier today,Skypoint Airlines
522
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:01,201
condemned Cary Dubek
523
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,266
for a photo he tookon one of their planes.
524
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,898
Celebrities immediatelyrallied around him and now,
525
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,844
some of the biggest namesin Hollywood
526
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,336
are vowing to take action.
527
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,508
- Take action?
- Julianne Moore tweeted,
528
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:14,047
"I'm never giving my moneyto Skypoint again.
529
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:17,222
"Instead, I'm giving it toCary Dubek by buying a ticket
530
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,552
to his film "Night Nurse"opening weekend.
531
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:21,618
Who's with me?"
- Oh, Julianne, no!
532
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,520
- That was instantly retweetedby Judd Apatow,
533
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,460
Chris Evans, and Ava DuVernay,
534
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,528
all of whom vowed to see" Night Nurse"
535
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,464
opening weekend as well.
- This is not happening.
536
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,602
- And Patton Oswaltjust tweeted,
537
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,468
"I'm buying ticketsto the opening weekend
538
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,036
of 'Night Nurse' for the next100 people who RT this."
539
00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:39,572
- God!- "Or eff it--the next--"
540
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,638
[thumping dance music]
541
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:46,811
♪ ♪
542
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,382
- ♪ Earthquake ♪
- Oh, shit.
543
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:51,047
- ♪ Make the ground shake ♪
544
00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:55,148
- Look at this crown molding.
545
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,394
I gotta get me
some of this crown molding.
546
00:20:57,456 --> 00:21:00,286
- [chuckling] Can you believe
we get to stay
547
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,492
in places like this now?
- Hmm.
548
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,104
- Oh my God, do you remember
549
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:06,732
that shithole we stayed in
for Victor's wedding?
550
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:10,398
- Oh my God, fuck that place.
I hated that place.
551
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,139
- You got so mad
at those people.
552
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:14,568
- They kept coming up
and yelling at us,
553
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:15,940
saying we were being loud,
554
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,138
but it's just 'cause
the beds were old.
555
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,513
- I just remember
that they said
556
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,851
that if we got
one more noise complaint,
557
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,577
that they were
gonna kick us out,
558
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:27,349
and then it took you
a full hour to come.
559
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,862
- Well, I can't come
if I can't move.
560
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,015
- [laughing]
561
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:34,433
[both chuckling]
562
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:04,888
- [breathing deeply]
563
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:08,060
- [soft exhale]
564
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,232
[moans]
565
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,731
[moaning]
- Ohh...
566
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:17,343
- [moaning]
567
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:23,542
Ah...ah...
- Ahh...
568
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:29,412
[both moaning]
569
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,014
- [screaming] No!
570
00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:02,009
♪ ♪
571
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,450
- Hey, wait.
572
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,518
Fucking wait. Stop.
573
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:06,894
- O-okay, all right.
574
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:09,762
Look, I'm sorry,
I sent it to one friend,
575
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:11,385
I didn't know
it'd become a thing.
576
00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:12,886
- Well, it did, didn't it?
577
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:15,628
And now everyone in Hollywood's
seen my hole.
578
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:17,957
- But they'll also
see your movie. That's cool.
579
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:20,473
- Oh, my fucking God,
that movie isn't even--
580
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:22,565
[phone buzzes]
Great.
581
00:23:22,634 --> 00:23:25,304
A call from my agent
at midnight.
582
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,274
That's always good.
583
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:33,645
- Cary, how's it going?
- Um...I've been better?
584
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,905
- Well, I havesome insane news.
585
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:38,051
"Night Nurse" is back on!
586
00:23:39,317 --> 00:23:40,487
- What?
- Yeah.
587
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:41,885
So many people have said
588
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,763
they'll gonna see itopening weekend,
589
00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:45,562
the financiers are confidentit's gonna turn a profit,
590
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,494
so they're back on board.
591
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:49,462
- What? Who--who's playing
592
00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:51,261
Patricia Arquette's part?
- They don't know.
593
00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,999
But they're scramblingto cast someone right now
594
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,668
because they wanna havea table read on Monday.
595
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:58,067
- Whoa! Really?
That's--that's fast.
596
00:23:58,136 --> 00:23:59,836
- Yeah, they wanna keepmomentum going
597
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,438
while peopleare still talking about it.
598
00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:04,606
So can you stay in LAanother week?
599
00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:07,106
- Sure. Yes.
600
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,509
So this is really happening?
For real?
601
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,184
Like, I'm really
gonna be in a movie?
602
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,694
- [chuckles] Yes, Cary.
603
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:16,186
You're reallygonna be in a movie.
604
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,858
Congrats.Guess that hole pic
605
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:20,856
is the best thingthat ever happened to you.
606
00:24:26,364 --> 00:24:27,604
- Yes!
607
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:31,336
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
608
00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:32,266
Yes!
609
00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:35,437
[thumping dance music]
610
00:24:35,507 --> 00:24:42,107
♪ ♪
611
00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:52,719
- I still can't believe
612
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:55,494
all of these people
tweeted about your hole.
613
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:56,730
[both laughing]
614
00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:58,998
- I know.
- But I'm so happy for you.
615
00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:01,334
- What about you?
All you've talked about
616
00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:03,799
for the last six months
is meeting Alessia Cara
617
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,299
and needing to go
to the dentist,
618
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,510
and somehow today you did both?
619
00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:08,912
- Hmm.
- Ha.
620
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:10,577
I'm sorry I couldn't
celebrate with you.
621
00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:12,735
- It's okay. I hung with Lance.
622
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:15,254
- I'm glad you guys
are friends again.
623
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:16,647
- Mm-hmm.
624
00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:20,392
Oh my God,
Mark Ruffalo tweeted?
625
00:25:20,485 --> 00:25:21,585
- [huffs]
- Cary!
626
00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:23,316
Your two high school dreams--
627
00:25:23,388 --> 00:25:26,558
becoming an actor and having
Mark Ruffalo see your hole.
628
00:25:26,658 --> 00:25:28,488
What a day!
629
00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:33,102
- I can't wait to tell Mom
and Chase about the movie.
630
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,698
When do they get in tomorrow?
631
00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:36,196
- Mom has a bunch of stuff
during the day,
632
00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:38,038
so they land
right before the show.
633
00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:39,703
- Oh God, I'm excited
to see them.
634
00:25:39,771 --> 00:25:42,911
- Yeah, I think
tomorrow's gonna be great.
635
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:47,679
- And it's so nice that now
all four of us are doing well.
636
00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:50,723
- Oh, we should go
celebrate after the show.
637
00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:52,022
Get dinner.
638
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:53,223
- Or drinks.
639
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:55,545
- Or we can
just play it by ear,
640
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,020
see where the night takes us.
641
00:25:57,088 --> 00:25:58,118
- Brain dead?
- What?
642
00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,293
- What?
- The Mitchy--
643
00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,291
- I can't wait.
- Yeah.
644
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,563
Me neither.
645
00:26:03,628 --> 00:26:07,298
- ♪ Do more,I won't call you ♪
646
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:11,099
♪ Do more,I won't be here ♪
647
00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:14,972
♪ The more you laugh at meI should vow ♪
648
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,983
♪ I want you back with me ♪
649
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,276
♪ Na, na, do more ♪
650
00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:27,148
♪ ♪
651
00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:36,056
♪ Do more ♪
652
00:26:36,127 --> 00:26:43,097
♪ ♪
653
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:54,349
♪ Do more,I won't call you ♪
654
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:58,346
♪ Do more,I won't be here ♪
655
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,490
♪ Do more ♪
656
00:27:00,585 --> 00:27:06,185
♪ ♪
657
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,161
♪ The more you laugh at meI should vow ♪
658
00:27:10,261 --> 00:27:13,201
♪ I want you,want you, please ♪
659
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:16,028
♪ Na, na, do more ♪
46517
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.