All language subtitles for Haileys.On.It.S01E05.The.Show.Must.Go.Wrong.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb
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1
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,423
{\an8}Not today, Hungry Hank.
2
00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:09,676
(BELL RINGING)
3
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,762
{\an8}And tongs down.
The lunch buffet is closed.
4
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,389
{\an8}Scott, Hailey, clean it up.
5
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,890
{\an8}- Yeah.
- Yeah.
6
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,686
HAILEY:
Oh, yeah
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:20,979
SCOTT: Yeah.
8
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,523
- Yeah.
- (EXCLAIMS)
9
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,775
HAILEY:
You're probably wondering
10
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:28,736
what I'm doing with a hot dog
and chocolate pudding pizzarito, right?
11
00:00:28,736 --> 00:00:31,322
Wait, is that what I look like
when I eat?
12
00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:33,992
Anyway, when the lunch buffet ends
at U.F. Dough,
13
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,579
Scott and I graciously donate our time
to clean up the leftover food,
14
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,999
and by cleanup,
I mean stuff our face-holes.
15
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:44,544
Your gluttony disgusts me.
16
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:46,629
Do you want a bite?
17
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,549
Even if I could eat,
I wouldn't eat that.
18
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,009
Now focus up, chow hounds.
19
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:55,763
The next most optimal list item
for you to complete is number 89.
20
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,640
Be in a school musical.
21
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,977
Me? Sing in front of lots of people?
22
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,605
Hailey, that's crazy perfect timing.
23
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,857
The school musical
is just a few weeks away.
24
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,818
And my girlfriend Kristine,
who I'm full on dating now,
25
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:13,948
well, she's writing, directing
and starring in
Hats, The Musical.
26
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,117
Let me guess, it's about hats.
27
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,952
How did you know that?
28
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,871
- You really are a supercomputer.
- Whoa!
29
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,332
Be in a musical?
30
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:26,377
Me? I mean, sure, I've always wanted
to be in a musical. Who hasn't?
31
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,755
But I've never sung
in front of an audience.
32
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,381
I'd be so nervous.
33
00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:33,676
Come on, Hai, you sing
for your uncles' band all the time.
34
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:37,013
ALL: (SINGING)
Just look at the sky glow
35
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:41,851
Who cares where the time goes
A beautiful night
36
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,436
Totally different.
37
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,939
I don't sing for my uncles,
I sing with them.
38
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:49,108
Hey, maybe we could sing together.
I got a lead role.
39
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,568
- BOTH: Really?
- Yeah.
40
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:53,071
But it was a tough audition process.
41
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,864
Hi, I'm Scott. And I'd like to...
42
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,367
(EXCLAIMS) You got the part, boyfriend!
43
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,327
Show business is hard work.
44
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,246
SUNNY: You talking about the musical?
45
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,206
I love musicals, and I'm so glad
46
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:06,459
Scott is putting himself out there
and exploring the arts.
47
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:10,296
Unlike me, who spent my best years
in a dark room studying anatomy,
48
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:14,300
when all I wanted to do was bring
a slice of happiness to the people.
49
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,551
(MAN BURPS)
50
00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:18,179
Even him. Anyway, great news,
51
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:21,015
I'm taking the whole night off
to see your show.
52
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:25,561
You are? But you never take time off.
Not even for Becker's birth.
53
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:26,729
What can I say?
54
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,816
I like to multitask,
plus, Darryl's gonna cover for me.
55
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,359
- Ahhh!
- (DISHES SMASH)
56
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:39,242
Or maybe I'll close for the night.
Are you gonna be in the musical too?
57
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,494
Uh, I don't know.
58
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,747
You wouldn't be performing alone.
I'd be there to back you up.
59
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:47,166
Come on. It might be fun.
60
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,503
I'll do it.
I just need to find the perfect role.
61
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,131
Perfect.
62
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,174
ALL: (SINGING)
He's fedorable
63
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,219
Yeah, yeah, Unignorable
64
00:02:58,386 --> 00:02:59,887
Yeah, yeah.
65
00:02:59,887 --> 00:03:02,557
With the softest brim
A dented crown
66
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,518
He's the slickest lid in town
67
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:08,021
He's fedorable
68
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:12,025
You guys, that was incredible.
69
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:15,236
Snaps all around,
but a little constructive criticism.
70
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,613
Some of you are dancing
like you have two left feet.
71
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,490
But I do have two left feet.
72
00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:21,826
I apologize, Tina.
73
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,619
That cliche is outdated and offensive.
74
00:03:23,619 --> 00:03:25,663
And you were
the only one doing it right.
75
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,291
Everyone else, be more like Tina!
76
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,001
Now, let's take a break.
77
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,628
Then Scott and I will rehearse
our big love duet.
78
00:03:32,628 --> 00:03:33,713
Eee!
79
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,758
You heard the boss.
Take five, a true five.
80
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,677
Everyone, clear the stage.
Important set piece coming through.
81
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,304
And it ain't stopping for no one.
82
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,349
Clear, clear, clear.
83
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,393
- What's up, Hailey?
- Becker?
84
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,270
I didn't take you as a theater fan.
85
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,355
I'm not.
86
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,191
But I am a fan of smashing
the sets with a sledgehammer
87
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,400
once the show is done.
88
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:56,611
The perk of being a techie.
89
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,489
Becker, or should I call you "sister,"
90
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,574
now that Scott and I are full on dating?
91
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,326
Not if you like your eyebrows.
92
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,244
There's one teeny, tiny thing I need.
93
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830
The spotlight at the end
of the
Fedorable number
94
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,083
just isn't quite bright enough.
95
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,377
{\an8}It's already
at the highest setting, boss.
96
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:16,172
Well, it's very important
it's even brighter.
97
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:19,384
We need to get the scene
the perfect hat-mosphere.
98
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,718
Well... (SIGHS)
99
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:24,597
We're already working with 3,000 lumens
in a two-way converter box,
100
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:28,226
but I guess I could bypass
the restrainer block.
101
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,521
I don't understand a word of that,
but it sure sounds exciting.
102
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,814
Eee!
103
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,524
Grand jeté!
104
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,942
Isn't this fun?
105
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,570
Then we do the whole spinny thing
and then we tappity-tap,
106
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:40,947
and then...
107
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,782
La, la, la, la
108
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,952
I just want the show to be really good
for my mom.
109
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,121
No worries. The show is great.
110
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,747
Whoo-hoo!
111
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,625
HAILEY:
The show is not great.
The story doesn't make sense,
112
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,044
the costumes are ridiculous,
and it's way too long.
113
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,130
But there are some
surprisingly catchy songs.
114
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,756
(SINGING)
He's fedorable
115
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,383
Yeah, yeah
116
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,386
Unignorable The softest brim
117
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,720
A dented crown
118
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,014
He's the slickest lid in town
119
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:10,226
- O-M-G-sharp.
- (GROANS)
120
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,646
Hailey, your voice is glam-tastic.
121
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,774
I need to write you
a coat rack solo called,
I'm Hooked.
122
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,694
Oh, no, I'm happy as a silent coat rack.
123
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,155
Aw. Sad face emoji.
124
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,490
Well, you can still change your mind.
125
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,701
We still have a few weeks
till opening night.
126
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,828
It's opening night!
127
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,580
Boys, act louder.
128
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,833
Tina, the box set starts
on your rightmost left foot.
129
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,002
I don't know which is which anymore.
130
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,380
Becker, did you brighten the spotlight
for the end of the
Fedorable number?
131
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,631
Don't worry, boss.
132
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,008
I read you loud and clear.
133
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,259
(PANTING)
134
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:46,345
Looks like the audience
is brimming with excitement.
135
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:47,680
(CHUCKLES) Am I right?
136
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,558
(CHUCKLES) Killer hat pun, Hails,
but something's happening.
137
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,102
I have this weird rumbling
in my stomach,
138
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:57,482
like little butterflies are being eaten
by fire-breathing dragons
139
00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,275
Sounds like nerves.
140
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,068
There's a first time for everything.
141
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,488
Wait, you've never been nervous before?
142
00:06:03,779 --> 00:06:06,157
- I feel that way all the time.
- Really?
143
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,659
If I had to sing in front
of that audience tonight,
144
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:11,704
I'd be so nervous
I'd freeze and forget all the words
145
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,415
and then tumble off the stage
and break both my legs.
146
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,419
Uh... Well, break a leg.
147
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:22,381
I mean, you know, not literally,
just, have fun out there!
148
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:29,055
(SINGING)
Welcome to Hattington's
Selling you a hat again
149
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,389
No shenanigans
150
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,308
Any hat on a platter, man.
151
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,770
Every shape and style
A go-to shop
152
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:39,273
Come in and grab a brim
Welcome to Hattington's
153
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:40,900
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
154
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,736
Yes!
155
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:48,533
Hat on a hat, on a hat, on a hat
156
00:06:48,824 --> 00:06:51,911
What could be better than that?
157
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:55,122
Sombrero, sombrero
158
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:58,251
Wish I were a sombrero
159
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:02,713
Instead I'm a lame beret
160
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:07,552
Three-million four-hundred
Ways to hide your head
161
00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:11,305
Why bother washing your hair
162
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,058
Just cover it instead
163
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:17,270
Am I a hat?
164
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:21,566
In my dreams
I cover the whole head
165
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,776
Instead of being just a brim
166
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,737
He's fedorable
167
00:07:26,862 --> 00:07:29,699
Yeah, yeah Unignorable
168
00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:31,409
Yeah, yeah
169
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,078
With the softest brim
A dented crown
170
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,956
He's the slickest lid in town
171
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,833
He's fedorable
172
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,544
- (SCREAMS)
- (AUDIENCE GASPS)
173
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,379
- (GASPS)
- Ahhh!
174
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,964
Ow!
175
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,091
Jonathan, Thad...
176
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,135
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
177
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,138
You're welcome.
178
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,681
Ow! Oh!
179
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:57,476
My ankle. And before our big love duet.
180
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,646
It's impossible to sing
with a sprained ankle.
181
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,981
But it's the best song.
182
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,276
- I wanted my mom to see it, and...
- Hailey, you could do it.
183
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,362
- You have an incredible voice.
- Me?
184
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,657
But the nerves,
the butterflies, the dragons.
185
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:15,244
I know. But once you start singing,
that will totally go away.
186
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,079
Please?
187
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,458
I want to, but I'm sorry.
188
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,169
I just can't.
189
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:26,672
It's okay. I can do it by myself.
190
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,258
Kristine, sun hat costume, please.
191
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,511
But, Scott, you can't sing
a duet by yourself.
192
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:36,140
Yeah. Well, they said man would
never walk on the Sun either.
193
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:40,102
But those brave astronauts
proved them wrong.
194
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:42,104
Break a leg, boyfriend.
195
00:08:42,229 --> 00:08:45,566
Pillbox, Stetson, bonnet, balaclava,
196
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,735
shower cap, the Santa hat.
197
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,199
We're like pancakes and ice cream
198
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,244
Public pools and chlorine
199
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,704
(GASPS)
200
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,790
Like spaghetti and...
201
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,169
Like spaghetti and...
202
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,672
Um... Mango?
203
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,175
HAILEY:
Going out on that stage
in front of all those people
204
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:14,345
was the last place on Earth
I would ever want to be.
205
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:18,599
But for some reason, at that moment,
it didn't matter.
206
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,434
Because Scott needed my help.
207
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:25,356
Like spaghetti and...
Like spaghetti and...
208
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:30,069
Like spaghetti and meatballs
Are meant for each other
209
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,904
Or two puzzle pieces
210
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,699
BOTH:
Like hot dogs and mustard
211
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,993
You, you fit me perfectly
212
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:42,915
Can't help but serenade ya
'Cause our love is tailor-made, yeah
213
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:46,460
You, you fit me perfectly
214
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:51,716
If I'm a lock, then you're the key
You fit me perfectly
215
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,217
Yeah
216
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:58,681
You fit me perfectly
Yeah, yeah
217
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:03,477
- Like pancakes and ice cream
- Waffles and ice cream
218
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,480
BOTH:
Anything and ice cream
219
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:13,070
You fit me perfectly
220
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:16,532
Oops.
221
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,118
- Yeah, Scott!
- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
222
00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:25,040
I owe it all to the hats.
223
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,753
Thanks for saving me out there, Hails.
224
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,922
And hey, you actually sang on stage
in front of people.
225
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,300
Wait, I totally did.
226
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,261
And it was kind of awesome.
227
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,929
I think I want to do it again.
228
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,640
(ALL GASP)
229
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,143
KRISTINE: Becker! Stop!
230
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,188
We still have five more performances.
231
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,357
Why? The show is already a smash hit.
232
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,319
KRISTINE: Becker!
233
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,987
- (SMASHING CONTINUES)
- (BECKER LAUGHS)
234
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,322
(CHORUS SINGING)
235
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,408
{\an8}
He's fedorable! Yeah, yeah!
236
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:02,411
{\an8}
Unignorable! Yeah, yeah!
237
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:05,456
{\an8}
With the softest brim
A dented crown
238
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,167
{\an8}
He's the slickest lid in town!
239
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,426
{\an8}
With the softest brim
A dented crown
240
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,929
{\an8}
He's the slickest lid in town!
241
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:21,639
{\an8}
He's fedorable!
17272