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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
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Babe, we did it! Oh, my God, okay.
3
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,606
- Here's another one. You ready?
- Yeah.
4
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,566
"VICE Magazine,"
"'Based on a True Story,'
5
00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:24,692
real or hoax?
6
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:25,818
The podcast that's gripped the nation."
7
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Holy shit.
8
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,404
- Keep going.
- Yep, we got one
9
00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,364
from BuzzFeed: "Top ten
moments you can't miss
10
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,241
from 'Based on a True Story.'"
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- Love you, BuzzFeed.
- Another amazing one.
12
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,369
"New York Times Magazine,"
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00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,038
"Bill Kristol and Noam Chomsky debate,
14
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,832
'What does "Based on a True
Story" say about America?'"
15
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It says, the best...
16
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,419
- country ever!
- Oh, my God.
17
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:46,422
Charli D'Amelio tweeted
"My new favorite obsession!
18
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,257
#basedonatruestory!"
19
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,759
- Who's Charli D'Amelio?
- I loved her
20
00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:51,427
from "Dancing with the
Stars." She won last year...
21
00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,553
- Okay.
- But she also has, like,
22
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,472
150 million followers on TikTok,
23
00:00:54,514 --> 00:00:56,057
so we are fucking viral, babe!
24
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,433
Uh-oh, look who's callin' here.
25
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,394
Okay. Hey, you see the Daily Beast?
26
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:03,231
Who is the voice of
"Based on a True Story"?
27
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,108
Can you believe that?
28
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,235
Man, we are everywhere.
29
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,569
Right?
30
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,821
How far away are you?
31
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,407
I'm just on Sunset. I'll see you soon.
32
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,868
- Why did she invite him?
- I don't know.
33
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,162
It's like, if I know someone,
she has to know them too.
34
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,580
My friend has to be her friend.
35
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,416
If I have a plumber, she
has to have the same plumber.
36
00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:23,209
- It's like, fuck off.
- Yeah.
37
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,503
This is gonna be a fucking great party.
38
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,472
- All right.
- Hi, guys.
39
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:39,058
- Wow.
- Welcome. Hi.
40
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,643
- Beautiful in here.
- Oh, thank you.
41
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,770
- You look amazing. You're huge.
- Thank you.
42
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,272
- Uh...
- Hi.
43
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,190
- Hi, girls.
- So good to see you.
44
00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,776
- You guys look gorgeous.
- This dress...
45
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,611
- Cut two dresses...
- Stop.
46
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,071
- And put it together.
- No, you did not.
47
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,197
- Hi!
- Tory!
48
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,365
- Hi, sis.
- Hello.
49
00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:55,783
Little kid.
50
00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:56,825
You need a sweater.
51
00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:58,369
- Oh, hi.
- No, let it all out.
52
00:01:58,411 --> 00:02:00,955
- How was school?
- I just graduated.
53
00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:03,583
- You look smarter.
- Looking for a place to stay,
54
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,835
you know, before baby
comes and kicks me out.
55
00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:07,420
Oh, my God, no one is kicking you out.
56
00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:08,921
- Is there food yet?
- Yeah, inside.
57
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,673
- Bye.
- Hi.
58
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:12,925
- Who's your date?
- Tinder guy.
59
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,887
Uh, no, actually, Bumble guy. Jacob.
60
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,138
Another fuckfest.
61
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,015
Oh, no, it's, like, a little early.
62
00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:20,516
- Is it?
- Alcohol?
63
00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:21,642
- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Yeah.
64
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,061
- Yes, yes.
- I see this.
65
00:02:23,062 --> 00:02:24,062
- Bye.
- Holding hands.
66
00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,271
Intimate.
67
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:28,232
I used to hate these things.
68
00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,650
I always got outbid.
69
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,319
- Not anymore, babe.
- Not anymore.
70
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,612
Look at this watch.
71
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,572
Ten-day vacation...
Four Seasons in Maui.
72
00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,365
Ooh, I like that one.
73
00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,700
- What else we got here?
- A little wine tasting at home?
74
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:39,827
That would be nice too.
75
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,329
A brick.
76
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,706
- What is that?
- "A single brick salvaged
77
00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:46,876
from the last Manhattan
residence of Edgar Allan Poe"?
78
00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:49,087
A creepy brick owned by a horror writer?
79
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,255
- I have to have that.
- Early anniversary present?
80
00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,549
- That is so mine.
- It's gonna be yours, baby.
81
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:56,386
- It also works as a weapon.
- Hey, it's my two favorite people.
82
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,679
- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
83
00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,391
- Hey, Michelle.
- Hey.
84
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,393
I didn't know you were coming.
85
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,811
- Well, surprise.
- Yay.
86
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,437
- Yeah.
- Great. Yeah.
87
00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:09,690
And it's great that you
guys... um, how are you?
88
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:13,027
You know what? We are awesome.
89
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:16,406
Yeah, and we have Nathan to
thank because he set us up.
90
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,824
- Yeah.
- Oh, I... no, I didn't.
91
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,492
I... I definitely didn't set you up.
92
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,869
No, no, you did. You did, remember?
93
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:22,954
I... I said he was hot,
94
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:25,790
and then you said he was good people.
95
00:03:25,832 --> 00:03:27,208
Buddy, thanks.
96
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,793
- I owe you.
- I didn't...
97
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,586
Good people?
98
00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:33,923
Oop, excuse me.
99
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,008
Thank you so much.
100
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,428
Oh, my God, these canapes are amazing.
101
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,179
Ugh, I know. I've had, like, 17 of them.
102
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:42,432
Uh...
103
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:47,228
Uh... Carlos is here.
104
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,105
Mm, mm-hmm.
105
00:03:49,147 --> 00:03:51,065
Yeah.
106
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,775
You invited Carlos?
107
00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,861
Yes. I want all my friends here.
108
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,362
Oh, my God. You invite him to, like,
109
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,448
socialize too?
110
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,074
Well, this is the first one,
111
00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,451
but Simon doesn't care.
112
00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:02,827
- Hey.
- See?
113
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,869
All good.
114
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,580
You guys are so fucking weird.
115
00:04:07,999 --> 00:04:09,459
Hey, guys.
116
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,462
Bring it in.
117
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,297
Look at these new numbers.
118
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,632
15 million downloads.
119
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,176
That's a lot of fuckin' money.
120
00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,594
Yeah, that's a lot of money.
121
00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:20,596
- Like, a million dollars.
- Can you believe that?
122
00:04:20,596 --> 00:04:21,804
Can you believe that?
123
00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,140
Yeah, but you know what
the next question is?
124
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:25,558
How do we make it bigger?
125
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,310
Okay, let's just enjoy this moment.
126
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:28,644
We gotta push it. Look.
127
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:30,438
I went on a bit of a
deep dive on Reddit.
128
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,940
Okay, 24% of our fans,
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00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,151
they want me to keep talking
about my greatest hits
130
00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:37,653
over and over like
I'm Billy fucking Joel,
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00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,573
but 76%, guess what they want?
132
00:04:40,615 --> 00:04:42,492
- Don't say it.
- Fresh new content,
133
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,533
- motherfuckers.
- No.
134
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,827
- No.
- Yeah. Yeah.
135
00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:45,870
We're not talking about that anymore.
136
00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:48,465
- They said it.
- Faking it worked pretty good in Vegas.
137
00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:50,708
The fake was great. It was
great. It was a one-time thing.
138
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:51,709
- How 'bout a two-time thing?
- It was great.
139
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:52,840
- No, we've gotta listen
- Why?
140
00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:54,796
to our 15-million fanbase,
141
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,339
and we gotta keep it real for them.
142
00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:57,715
Okay, listen to this.
143
00:04:57,757 --> 00:05:00,134
Spotify is talking about
a $20-million deal with us.
144
00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:01,594
- Yeah.
- So how 'bout that's keeping
145
00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:03,971
- shit real, bro?
- That's keeping it real real,
146
00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:05,681
so just keep your shit together,
147
00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:08,101
don't fuck it up, and just keep cool.
148
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,435
Offer's comin' in any minute.
149
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,561
We're all gonna be rich.
150
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:12,188
Okay. Great.
151
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:13,773
- Got it?
- I got it, yeah.
152
00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:16,067
- Don't fuck this up.
- Okay, don't fuck it up.
153
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:51,602
Yeah?
154
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,032
Okay, ready? Oh, good catch.
155
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,743
Good boy. Come here. Come here.
156
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:09,912
Come here, boy, you handsome boy.
157
00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:14,625
Ooh. Oh, good catch.
158
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,377
Oh, Duke is such a handsome boy.
159
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,129
- Come here.
- Hey.
160
00:06:18,171 --> 00:06:20,131
Do you wanna try this edible flower?
161
00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:22,925
Do you think we could get the dog back?
162
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,761
Uh, sorry, what?
163
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,137
- Are you kidding?
- I just... I...
164
00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:28,139
I'm really feeling like
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00:06:28,181 --> 00:06:29,557
he wants to come home.
166
00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:32,060
Okay, babe. We gave them the dog.
167
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:34,103
You can't ask for
something like that back.
168
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,646
- That's insane.
- We gave him the dog
169
00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:37,315
because our yard was too small.
170
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:39,357
- Yes.
- But that's about to fucking change.
171
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,693
We're gonna have a huge yard.
172
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:42,153
He should come home.
173
00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,529
I mean, look... look at the way he's...
174
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,406
he throws the ball like such a pussy.
175
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:46,866
He's like...
- Anybody see that?
176
00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:48,743
It is kind of a lame throw.
177
00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:50,495
- Right? Just like...
- Yeah, but that doesn't mean
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00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:51,662
you can steal the dog back.
179
00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:53,706
Good catch, Duke!
180
00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:54,832
His name is McEnroe.
181
00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:56,667
It's not Duke, and he knows it.
182
00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:58,252
You gotta let it go, okay?
183
00:06:58,294 --> 00:06:59,504
We can't ask for the dog back.
184
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,340
Okay, fine. We'll buy him back.
185
00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:04,717
You know how much Simon loves this dog?
186
00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:06,594
He does. He's obsessed.
187
00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,513
He sleeps in the guesthouse with him.
188
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,056
Do you think I give a shit?
189
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:13,142
Hey, pal.
190
00:07:14,727 --> 00:07:16,145
It's us. He's look... he's looking at...
191
00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:17,522
- Babe, he's not looking at us.
- He's looking at us.
192
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,315
No, he's not. You can't take something
193
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:20,357
- like that away.
- Hey.
194
00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:21,359
That's... that's nuts.
195
00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:22,485
Yeah, um, can I...
196
00:07:22,527 --> 00:07:23,653
can I grab you for a second? I just...
197
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,862
- Yeah.
- I need a hand.
198
00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:27,740
Yes. Please don't steal the dog, okay?
199
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,450
Come here, Duke. Come to me. Come to me.
200
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,993
Oh, come here. Good catch.
201
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,496
Good boy. Come here. Come here.
202
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:35,081
Okay, Duke.
203
00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:36,416
Go get it.
204
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,501
Oh, good catch. You're
such a handsome boy.
205
00:07:38,543 --> 00:07:39,752
Bring it back. Bring it back.
206
00:07:50,388 --> 00:07:53,933
Just love this room!
207
00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:55,893
It's so beautiful. Where
are the party favors?
208
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,478
- You hiding them up here?
- Ava...
209
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,896
Also, you have no pictures.
210
00:07:58,938 --> 00:08:01,399
- It's really weird.
- Hey, are you okay?
211
00:08:01,441 --> 00:08:03,568
What?
212
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,156
What... what is that?
213
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,032
I don't know. You tell me.
214
00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:12,076
I saw it fall out of
your pocket at CrimeCon.
215
00:08:12,118 --> 00:08:15,329
I've... I've never seen
that before in my life.
216
00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:16,748
You've never seen this
before in your life?
217
00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:17,874
- No.
- Ever?
218
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,417
- No.
- Okay.
219
00:08:19,459 --> 00:08:22,795
"WTF? You killed Dahlia?
220
00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,297
You made a podcast without us?
221
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:27,175
Meet us outside in the corridor now."
222
00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:31,220
You're "Based on a
True Story," aren't you?
223
00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:32,305
The...
224
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:35,058
"Based on a"... the...
the... the podcast?
225
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,768
Ava, I-I just... I wanna help you.
226
00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:37,894
- Are you in danger?
- No.
227
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,687
Because I... I called the number
228
00:08:39,729 --> 00:08:40,813
on this phone, and Matt answered.
229
00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:43,066
I don't... no. What?
230
00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:45,443
He's the Westside
fucking Ripper, isn't he?
231
00:08:45,485 --> 00:08:46,944
What is going on?
232
00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:48,404
- Okay...
- Why... why are you doing this?
233
00:08:48,446 --> 00:08:49,864
- Is... is he threatening you...
- It's not what you think.
234
00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:51,115
- Or Nathan?
- Oh, my God, no.
235
00:08:51,157 --> 00:08:53,367
It's not... it's not like that at all.
236
00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:55,286
No? Then what is it?
Because it says right here
237
00:08:55,328 --> 00:08:56,954
that he killed that girl in Vegas.
238
00:08:56,996 --> 00:08:58,790
Okay, is that why you
invited Matt tonight?
239
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,083
So you could ask me about this?
240
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:01,793
I mean, I invited him to find out
241
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:03,461
if he's the guy so I...
so I could help you,
242
00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:05,213
but if you don't want my help,
I'll just go to the cops with...
243
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,672
No, no, no. No, no,
no. No, no, no, no, no.
244
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,841
There's no... we don't need
to... let's just all calm down.
245
00:09:08,883 --> 00:09:10,301
No cops. You don't need to call anybody.
246
00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:12,470
Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm
gonna tell you the truth.
247
00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:14,097
- Okay?
- Okay.
248
00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,766
Nathan and I are broke.
249
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,893
We... we were gonna lose the house.
250
00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:20,353
- What?
- I know, and Matt was over,
251
00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:21,979
and we started talking, and it turns out
252
00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:25,149
he's a... he's this, like,
crime fanatic junkie like us.
253
00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:29,529
So the three of us decided
to make a fake podcast
254
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:33,366
where Matt pretends to
be the Westside Ripper.
255
00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:40,164
So Matt is pretending
to be a serial killer?
256
00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:41,541
I know. When you say it like that,
257
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:42,667
it sounds really bad, but...
258
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,294
it-it's so bad and... and fucked up.
259
00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:47,296
I know it sounds like
that, but we were desperate,
260
00:09:47,338 --> 00:09:49,298
desperate, completely desperate, and...
261
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,509
and then Matt, like, he
got, like, really into it,
262
00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:53,261
and he pretended he was the guy
263
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,804
that pushed that girl off the roof.
264
00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:56,180
And people got obsessed.
265
00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:58,474
They couldn't get enough of it.
266
00:09:58,516 --> 00:10:01,644
So you're saying that
all of this is... is fake
267
00:10:01,686 --> 00:10:02,854
and that guy's just a plumber?
268
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:06,566
- Yes!
- Because this looks pretty fucking real to me.
269
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:07,775
Well, good.
270
00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:10,319
We... We got you.
271
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:11,404
That's good.
272
00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:12,613
That...
273
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,365
Come on.
274
00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:19,036
Do you think that I would be in
business with a real serial killer?
275
00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:22,039
I mean, you sound insane.
276
00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:24,709
That would be the biggest
fucking stupidest thing
277
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:26,377
I could do, right?
278
00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:28,129
Right?
279
00:10:29,756 --> 00:10:30,882
- Yeah.
- Right.
280
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,216
Please don't tell anybody.
281
00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:36,929
Truly, like, I... I literally
dragged Nathan into this shit show.
282
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:38,431
There's a baby coming.
283
00:10:38,473 --> 00:10:41,184
Our lives could be over.
284
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,435
Please.
285
00:10:44,437 --> 00:10:45,813
Okay.
286
00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,815
Okay. Yeah, no, no, no. I... I...
287
00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:48,900
I won't say a word.
288
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,735
Thank you.
289
00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:53,154
- Thank you.
- Wow.
290
00:10:53,196 --> 00:10:56,240
I got to admit, this is...
this is kind of genius.
291
00:10:56,282 --> 00:10:58,785
"Based on a True Story"
is based on a fake story.
292
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,870
- I know.
- I-I wish I'd thought of it.
293
00:11:00,912 --> 00:11:03,456
Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Mm-hmm.
294
00:11:03,498 --> 00:11:04,791
Thank you.
295
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,377
I got your back.
296
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:10,588
- Thank you. Okay. Okay.
- Let's go back outside.
297
00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:13,633
Duke, Duke. Duke.
298
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:14,674
- Duke.
- McEnroe. See?
299
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,052
He likes McEnroe. McEnroe.
300
00:11:16,094 --> 00:11:17,595
McEnroe, right there.
301
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,098
Good boy.
302
00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:21,808
Yes! Come on, buddy.
303
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,518
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on, buddy.
304
00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:29,273
Come to me, Duke. Come to me, Duke.
305
00:11:31,234 --> 00:11:32,276
Good boy.
306
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,987
- Ready? Go.
- Okay.
307
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:37,156
I... I got it. Okay, here we go.
308
00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,533
Go get it.
309
00:11:38,534 --> 00:11:39,534
Here boy. Come on.
310
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,830
- Here, boy. Come on.
- Duke.
311
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,164
- Hey, hey.
- Come on.
312
00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:46,874
Bring it to me. Bring it to me, to me.
313
00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:49,085
- Me, me.
- McEnroe, look at me.
314
00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:51,504
Come here, pal. Come here, pal.
315
00:11:51,546 --> 00:11:52,588
Look at me. Come here.
316
00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:54,215
- Bring it to me. To me.
- Duke. Duke!
317
00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:58,136
Come to me, Duke. Come to me.
318
00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:00,763
Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
319
00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:03,099
Yay... oh!
320
00:12:03,141 --> 00:12:05,393
Aah!
321
00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:11,899
Help! Help!
322
00:12:25,371 --> 00:12:27,582
I'm gonna getcha outta here.
323
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,106
- McEnroe.
- Duke.
324
00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:53,524
- McEnroe.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
325
00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:54,901
- Bring it to me.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
326
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,277
- Duke!
- Look at me.
327
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:57,319
- Come to me. Come to me.
- McEnroe.
328
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,863
Come to me. Yeah, yeah.
329
00:12:58,905 --> 00:12:59,905
- Oh! Oh, don't...
- Good boy.
330
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:05,995
Hey.
331
00:13:06,037 --> 00:13:07,830
Hi. Hi.
332
00:13:07,872 --> 00:13:10,041
You good?
333
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,710
Um, yes.
334
00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:14,462
Yes, I'm good.
335
00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:17,215
Everybody, please take a seat inside.
336
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:20,176
Dinner first, and then the auction.
337
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,097
Yeah, he likes me so
much better than Simon.
338
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:27,183
- I know.
- Let's get that fuckin' brick.
339
00:13:27,225 --> 00:13:30,812
Hey, did you call me before?
340
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,730
Uh, it was a butt-dial, sorry.
341
00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:34,357
- Really?
- Yep.
342
00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,025
Where's the trust, partner?
343
00:13:42,782 --> 00:13:44,367
The same caterer did my... our wedding.
344
00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:46,452
- I didn't know that.
- Uh-huh.
345
00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:48,204
- That's right.
- Yeah.
346
00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:49,247
Hm?
347
00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:50,289
- Absolutely.
- It's great.
348
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,331
- Okay.
- I wish he would take
349
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,332
- an interest in my...
- I mean...
350
00:13:55,962 --> 00:13:57,964
- You tried your cake?
- No.
351
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,090
Goodness.
352
00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:00,133
Thank you.
353
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,634
Nice to see you.
354
00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:04,303
So are you a part of the crew now?
355
00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:05,972
Hey, did you crush those midterms?
356
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,433
Yeah, I'm going to UCLA Law in the fall.
357
00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:10,727
- Oh, my God. Congrats.
- Yeah, thanks.
358
00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:12,311
So we're gonna see a lot more of you.
359
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:14,355
- Yeah, a whole lot more.
- Awesome.
360
00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:16,357
"Crushed those midterms"?
361
00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:18,526
So a sign of the times,
I tried to put an ad
362
00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:21,863
on that hot true crime podcast,
"Based on a True Story."
363
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,072
- Hot.
- Brilliant.
364
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:24,282
Such a hot show.
365
00:14:24,323 --> 00:14:26,284
- Is that not a genius idea?
- Right?
366
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:27,785
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
367
00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:29,370
- Brilliant.
- Yeah.
368
00:14:29,412 --> 00:14:31,080
- I love that.
- Oh, my gosh, it gets me hot.
369
00:14:31,122 --> 00:14:32,373
- So brilliant.
- It's so good.
370
00:14:32,415 --> 00:14:33,708
- I think it's fake.
- Oh, yeah?
371
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,461
Yeah, like, the, um...
the Orson Welles thing?
372
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,628
Uh, "War of the Worlds"?
373
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,714
It could be just street theater.
374
00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,841
Absolutely not. Are you kidding me?
375
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:43,176
You heard this guy's voice?
376
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,802
That's a stabby voice.
377
00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:47,221
- What?
- I buy it 100%.
378
00:14:47,263 --> 00:14:48,890
- That guy is the killer.
- Mm.
379
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,350
- You should just ask them.
- There's no chance.
380
00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:53,895
- Yeah.
- You never talk to anybody.
381
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,188
- Oh.
- No, you...
382
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,273
you email a shell corporation.
383
00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:58,816
You pay them in crypto.
384
00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:02,487
Nobody knows where they
are or who they are.
385
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:05,031
- Wow.
- I wouldn't pay them a cent.
386
00:15:05,073 --> 00:15:07,909
Paul, the guy is killing people.
387
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,702
Okay, Richard.
388
00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:13,539
Last time I checked, there is
still free speech in America.
389
00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:15,833
Okay, even if that speech is about
390
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,335
how you just killed someone?
391
00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:18,669
Yeah, especially then.
392
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:21,172
You... you wanna
outlaw offensive speech?
393
00:15:21,214 --> 00:15:22,882
Who decides what goes on the list?
394
00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:24,425
Me? You?
395
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:28,221
I listen to it, and I think
it's totally fucking disgusting.
396
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,931
I think that you're right.
397
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,557
I think that it's all true.
398
00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:33,184
I think he's a serial killer.
399
00:15:33,226 --> 00:15:35,061
And I think the people
that are helping him
400
00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:36,687
are far worse than he is.
401
00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:38,606
- Oh. What people?
- Preach, sister.
402
00:15:38,648 --> 00:15:39,899
- There's an interviewer.
- Hm?
403
00:15:39,941 --> 00:15:41,442
- Don't say that.
- Right? I mean, somebody...
404
00:15:41,484 --> 00:15:42,860
- No, that's not your word.
- Has to be helping him.
405
00:15:42,902 --> 00:15:46,364
The Westside Ripper has
some kind of brain defect,
406
00:15:46,406 --> 00:15:48,866
but these parasites are
making money off of him.
407
00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:50,868
They should go to prison
longer than he does.
408
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,121
That's a very good point.
409
00:15:53,162 --> 00:15:54,414
No, they really should.
410
00:15:54,455 --> 00:15:56,290
- Think about it.
- Mm.
411
00:15:56,332 --> 00:15:58,668
I don't know. I...
412
00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:00,878
there's nothing wrong with makin' money.
413
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,089
I love money. You love money.
414
00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:04,632
You love money.
415
00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,092
Money's great.
416
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:07,427
Puts food on the table,
417
00:16:07,468 --> 00:16:09,429
puts our kids through school.
418
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,556
Carlos loves money. Right?
419
00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:12,849
What?
420
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:17,353
Can't open your gym on the
East Coast without money, right?
421
00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:19,605
Uh, it certainly would help, yeah.
422
00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:22,567
Mm, guys, I think it's time
423
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:24,777
to start bidding on the items, right?
424
00:16:24,819 --> 00:16:27,029
I just wanna say I love
Carlos' business plan.
425
00:16:27,071 --> 00:16:29,365
- Oh, my God.
- And I...
426
00:16:29,407 --> 00:16:30,783
I want to invest in it.
427
00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:33,786
Wait, you... you want
to invest in my gym?
428
00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:37,957
Yeah, I want to finance
the whole thing by myself.
429
00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:40,460
Well, that's...
430
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:41,711
Wait, are you serious?
431
00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:42,962
100%.
432
00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:44,004
- Great.
- Yeah?
433
00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:45,089
When do we start?
434
00:16:47,008 --> 00:16:48,926
Now.
435
00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,928
What?
436
00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,805
Now.
437
00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:54,098
Like, right now.
438
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:55,266
Immediately.
439
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:57,894
Immediately?
440
00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,312
He's joking.
441
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,355
He's just...
442
00:17:01,397 --> 00:17:03,608
Go pack a bag,
443
00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,068
go to LAX,
444
00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:07,862
get on the red-eye, go
to New York, get to work.
445
00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:10,448
It's gonna take a couple of years.
446
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,241
I'm gonna need you there the whole time
447
00:17:12,283 --> 00:17:14,869
overseeing construction, the plans,
448
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:18,414
and you're not gonna be
able to come back here ever.
449
00:17:23,878 --> 00:17:26,339
Why you doing this?
450
00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:28,800
- Hm?
- Hm?
451
00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:30,927
Why are you doing this right now?
452
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,220
Is it 'cause I invited him?
453
00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:35,139
What?
454
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:36,682
I believe in Carlos.
455
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:38,851
I like Carlos' business plan.
456
00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:41,979
Unless there's something
that Carlos loves
457
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:45,191
more than money here in LA.
458
00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:46,401
Then he should stay.
459
00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:51,697
Okay.
460
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:55,493
I just transferred you $250,000.
461
00:17:55,494 --> 00:17:56,494
What?
462
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:06,587
When I get my investment
back, we'll go 50/50.
463
00:18:06,629 --> 00:18:09,424
If it works out, I'll
finance a national rollout,
464
00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:12,427
but you gotta go right now.
465
00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:21,435
You don't have to go.
466
00:18:21,436 --> 00:18:24,272
Babe, please, stay for me.
467
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:25,773
You gotta go, Carlos.
468
00:18:28,151 --> 00:18:29,318
I'm sorry.
469
00:18:30,236 --> 00:18:32,196
Oh.
470
00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:47,086
Are you fucking insane?
471
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,468
Why would you do that?
472
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,928
Why the fuck do you even care?
473
00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:01,017
God.
474
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,478
Hey, buddy.
475
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,021
You got some interesting friends.
476
00:19:05,063 --> 00:19:08,441
Okay, let's help some teen runaways!
477
00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:12,320
Oh, my God.
478
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:14,197
I cannot believe that happened.
479
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:16,740
You okay?
480
00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:18,242
I know you really loved Carlos.
481
00:19:18,284 --> 00:19:19,786
Oh, fuck Carlos.
482
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,537
I never loved Carlos,
483
00:19:21,579 --> 00:19:24,707
but fuck him for leaving.
484
00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:28,294
Well, I mean, we all know
you're gonna be just fine.
485
00:19:28,336 --> 00:19:30,213
- Will I?
- Yes.
486
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,132
'Cause I feel like I'm
pretty fucked right now.
487
00:19:33,174 --> 00:19:37,178
Ava, look at my life right now.
488
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,763
Take a good look.
489
00:19:38,805 --> 00:19:41,140
You gotta let me in on the podcast.
490
00:19:41,182 --> 00:19:43,851
Okay? It's... it's
literally all that I got.
491
00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:48,147
Okay, uh, maybe we should
talk about this another time.
492
00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,191
No, no, no, 'cause...
'cause I can help you.
493
00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,402
You know, you... you know
I'm great with marketing.
494
00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:54,987
Right? And branding,
and I know this world.
495
00:19:55,029 --> 00:19:57,407
And we're the "Wine
& Crime" girls, right?
496
00:19:57,448 --> 00:19:58,950
- Yeah, I can't do this.
- Oh, well, I...
497
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,868
because do you remember that guy...
498
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,787
that guy that I had a thing
with in Cabo last year?
499
00:20:02,829 --> 00:20:05,248
'Cause he's huge at Wondery,
500
00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:06,374
and... and he's married,
501
00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:07,792
so he definitely owes me a solid.
502
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:09,961
I can get him to make
us a preemptive offer,
503
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:12,672
you know, probably a
really, really big one.
504
00:20:12,714 --> 00:20:14,298
- Oh, my God.
- Yes.
505
00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:18,678
So some guy is gonna make us
a multimillion-dollar offer
506
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,513
because he went down on you in Cabo?
507
00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:23,391
Yeah, that is how the world works.
508
00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:25,268
How do you not know that?
509
00:20:25,309 --> 00:20:27,061
Okay, just trust me.
510
00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:29,147
You shouldn't get involved
in this 'cause it's a mess.
511
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,523
Okay, hold on.
512
00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:31,691
Don't come at me like
you're my friend now.
513
00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:34,819
- What?
- No, I know exactly what's going on.
514
00:20:34,861 --> 00:20:37,572
I mean, I know Matt's the killer.
515
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,907
I have no fucking idea
what you're talking about.
516
00:20:39,949 --> 00:20:41,367
Okay.
517
00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:42,952
So if I took Matt's wine glass
518
00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:44,704
and took it down to the police station,
519
00:20:44,746 --> 00:20:48,040
you're telling me that his
DNA wouldn't be an exact match
520
00:20:48,082 --> 00:20:49,542
to the Westside Ripper?
521
00:20:52,754 --> 00:20:54,756
If you tell a single person about this,
522
00:20:54,797 --> 00:20:57,508
I will fucking end you.
523
00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:59,135
But I already told Simon.
524
00:21:00,553 --> 00:21:02,430
- What?
- Yeah.
525
00:21:02,472 --> 00:21:04,432
- I told him.
- You told...
526
00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,059
you told Simon? Are you insane?
527
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,394
- Why would you do that?
- Because he's a lawyer,
528
00:21:08,436 --> 00:21:09,812
and he will protect me!
529
00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:12,065
Oh, my God. He's not gonna protect you.
530
00:21:12,106 --> 00:21:14,525
He fucking hates you. He
hates everything about you!
531
00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,736
Oh, sweetie.
532
00:21:16,778 --> 00:21:18,154
That's just married talk.
533
00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:19,697
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe
534
00:21:19,739 --> 00:21:22,825
you would be stupid enough
to fucking tell Simon!
535
00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:25,203
Oh, I absolutely am that stupid.
536
00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:26,746
And why not?
537
00:21:26,788 --> 00:21:29,957
I mean, it's worked pretty
well for me so far, right?
538
00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,459
Tell me something.
539
00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:36,923
Who's the one living in a
mansion in the Palisades,
540
00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,467
and who can't afford their
mortgage in Mar Vista?
541
00:21:40,593 --> 00:21:42,136
Okay, you listen to me,
542
00:21:42,178 --> 00:21:44,680
you with your little 400 calories a day,
543
00:21:44,722 --> 00:21:46,891
your cool sculpt, and
your amazing blowjobs
544
00:21:46,933 --> 00:21:48,017
you can't stop bragging about...
545
00:21:48,059 --> 00:21:50,103
- They are amazing.
- Well,
546
00:21:50,144 --> 00:21:52,772
not amazing enough
to keep Carlos around.
547
00:21:52,814 --> 00:21:54,607
So if you wanna go steal
548
00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,442
the Westside Ripper's wine glass,
549
00:21:56,484 --> 00:21:57,902
good fucking luck.
550
00:21:57,944 --> 00:21:59,028
Fuck you.
551
00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:00,780
Fuck you, 'cause Nathan will bring me in
552
00:22:00,822 --> 00:22:03,616
'cause he is nothing like you!
553
00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:05,618
He will cut me in!
554
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,162
And my blowjobs are the fucking best!
555
00:22:09,414 --> 00:22:12,458
Everyone in LA knows it...
556
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,793
and Dubai.
557
00:22:17,414 --> 00:22:19,507
900, $900. Ladies and gentlemen,
558
00:22:19,549 --> 00:22:22,719
it would be a dream within
a dream if we got to $1,000.
559
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,513
Do I hear 1, $1,000
560
00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:26,764
for the Edgar Allan Poe brick.
561
00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:28,015
How 'bout a 1,200? Who'll do a 1,200?
562
00:22:28,057 --> 00:22:29,475
There's a fan of blood
and murder for 1,200.
563
00:22:29,517 --> 00:22:31,310
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
564
00:22:31,352 --> 00:22:33,229
Hold on, these fuckers are
trying to steal your brick.
565
00:22:33,271 --> 00:22:34,689
- $1,300.
- Okay, but...
566
00:22:34,731 --> 00:22:37,400
I need you for one second.
567
00:22:37,442 --> 00:22:39,068
- We're gonna lose the brick.
- I don't care.
568
00:22:39,110 --> 00:22:40,778
Just come on.
569
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:42,113
So here's the thing... don't panic
570
00:22:42,155 --> 00:22:43,823
when I tell you this...
but I lost the burner.
571
00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:44,865
- What?
- I got it back,
572
00:22:44,866 --> 00:22:45,867
but I dropped it in Vegas,
573
00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:47,285
and then Ruby, she found it,
574
00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:48,421
and now she's blackmailing us...
575
00:22:48,422 --> 00:22:49,423
- Oh, my fucking God.
- and wants in on everything.
576
00:22:49,423 --> 00:22:50,538
- Ruby?
- Yes.
577
00:22:50,539 --> 00:22:51,539
How did you not know you dropped it?
578
00:22:51,540 --> 00:22:53,541
It was an accident! Okay?
We had been using yours.
579
00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:54,667
I barely use mine. I thought it was
580
00:22:54,709 --> 00:22:55,918
in my bag, but it fell out.
581
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,378
I know I fucked up, but
she knows everything.
582
00:22:57,420 --> 00:22:59,213
She knows that Matt
is the Westside Ripper,
583
00:22:59,255 --> 00:23:01,174
and she told me that she told Simon.
584
00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:03,926
- She told Simon?
- Well, she might be bluffing.
585
00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:05,678
- I don't fuckin' know, but...
- This is fine. It's fine.
586
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:06,888
We're gonna figure this out.
587
00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:08,181
But this place is toxic.
588
00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:09,807
Okay? I'm telling you,
it's fucking toxic.
589
00:23:09,849 --> 00:23:12,060
They're nuts. I'm taking
McEnroe outta here.
590
00:23:12,101 --> 00:23:13,978
Babe, who fucking cares
about the dog right now?
591
00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:15,521
Just forget the fuckin' dog.
592
00:23:15,563 --> 00:23:17,106
We have bigger problems.
593
00:23:18,608 --> 00:23:20,068
- What? What?
- Oh, shit.
594
00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:23,112
Alba, she just came out against us.
595
00:23:23,154 --> 00:23:24,322
No, not Alba.
596
00:23:24,363 --> 00:23:25,573
Jessica Alba just tweeted,
597
00:23:25,615 --> 00:23:27,950
"If #BasedOnATrueStory
is true, it's sickening.
598
00:23:27,992 --> 00:23:29,452
If it's fake, it might be even worse.
599
00:23:29,494 --> 00:23:30,745
America, we're better than this.
600
00:23:30,787 --> 00:23:33,498
#CancelBasedOnATrueStory."
601
00:23:33,539 --> 00:23:35,083
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
602
00:23:35,124 --> 00:23:37,001
Okay, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, my God.
603
00:23:37,043 --> 00:23:38,043
Okay, maybe it's not gonna track.
604
00:23:38,044 --> 00:23:39,670
Maybe no one's gonna pick this up.
605
00:23:39,712 --> 00:23:42,090
Oh, shit. Malia Obama just retweeted it.
606
00:23:43,132 --> 00:23:45,093
Oh, my God, so did Tom Hanks.
607
00:23:45,134 --> 00:23:47,303
- Kylie Jenner.
- Oh, my God.
608
00:23:47,345 --> 00:23:49,180
So did Dame Judi Dench.
609
00:23:49,222 --> 00:23:51,099
- Oh, I'm so sorry, babe.
- Oh, my God.
610
00:23:51,140 --> 00:23:53,601
- I know you love her.
- Are you seeing this shit?
611
00:23:53,643 --> 00:23:54,811
- Yes.
- We're gonna get canceled?
612
00:23:54,852 --> 00:23:57,939
- Alba fucked us.
- Okay, is there anyone that's for us?
613
00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:59,524
- For us? Um...
- Who is? Look.
614
00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:00,775
- Kanye?
- Okay, Kanye?
615
00:24:00,817 --> 00:24:02,235
Ugh, that's not good.
616
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:03,277
The dude from NXIVM.
617
00:24:03,319 --> 00:24:04,570
Josh Duggar?
618
00:24:04,612 --> 00:24:05,905
Jared from Subway.
619
00:24:05,947 --> 00:24:07,156
- That's not good.
- That's bad.
620
00:24:07,198 --> 00:24:08,241
No.
621
00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,951
This is fuckin' awful.
622
00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:11,119
There goes iTunes.
623
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,453
- We lost iTunes?
- Yes.
624
00:24:12,495 --> 00:24:13,579
Okay.
625
00:24:13,621 --> 00:24:14,831
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
626
00:24:14,872 --> 00:24:16,374
You and me, we're gettin' outta here.
627
00:24:16,416 --> 00:24:17,959
We're takin' the dog. We'll
call you from the road.
628
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,419
You're taking the fucking dog?
629
00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:20,461
Our brand is under attack.
630
00:24:20,503 --> 00:24:21,754
We gotta act now.
631
00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:23,631
Here's our play, okay?
632
00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:25,174
The snowflakes can suck it.
633
00:24:25,216 --> 00:24:27,719
We're gonna double down
just like our fans want.
634
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,053
- I'm gonna go out tonight...
- No.
635
00:24:29,095 --> 00:24:31,931
- And I will...
- We are not doing that, okay?
636
00:24:31,973 --> 00:24:33,808
We have to do something,
but we are not doing that.
637
00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:34,850
You guys, if we don't do something,
638
00:24:34,851 --> 00:24:37,145
we are gonna lose the Spotify deal.
639
00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:38,855
Do you understand? So what do we do?
640
00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,481
Wait, wait. Hold on a second.
641
00:24:40,523 --> 00:24:41,691
Wait a minute. Doesn't...
642
00:24:41,733 --> 00:24:44,861
doesn't Ruby know Alba?
643
00:24:44,902 --> 00:24:48,406
Yes. You know what? She was
her body double in "Spy Kids 4."
644
00:24:48,448 --> 00:24:49,615
Remember, she had the
wig and the costume on
645
00:24:49,657 --> 00:24:50,825
one night after shooting?
646
00:24:50,867 --> 00:24:52,452
She loves to hold that over me.
647
00:24:52,493 --> 00:24:53,661
She went down on Kid Rock.
648
00:24:53,703 --> 00:24:54,912
- Someone took a photo.
- Yeah.
649
00:24:54,954 --> 00:24:56,748
Why don't we get Ruby to tell Alba
650
00:24:56,789 --> 00:24:58,499
that we'll release the fuckin' photo
651
00:24:58,541 --> 00:24:59,834
unless she pulls the post?
652
00:24:59,876 --> 00:25:01,002
Why would Alba care?
653
00:25:01,044 --> 00:25:02,170
It's not her in the picture.
654
00:25:02,211 --> 00:25:03,963
It doesn't matter. It looks like her.
655
00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:05,840
No, the tweet's out
there. It's taken flight.
656
00:25:05,882 --> 00:25:07,050
You go talk to Ruby.
657
00:25:07,091 --> 00:25:08,342
I'll find out what Simon knows.
658
00:25:08,384 --> 00:25:10,636
Ruby's not gonna do
shit for us right now.
659
00:25:10,678 --> 00:25:12,680
- Trust me.
- It's all we fuckin' got,
660
00:25:12,722 --> 00:25:14,223
guys. Let's go. Go.
661
00:25:14,265 --> 00:25:16,517
Big man, everyone!
662
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,353
Big fuckin' man.
663
00:25:19,395 --> 00:25:22,440
What kind of control freak
buys his wife's boyfriend, huh?
664
00:25:22,482 --> 00:25:23,983
You're the one who invited him, honey,
665
00:25:24,025 --> 00:25:25,151
in front of all of our friends.
666
00:25:25,193 --> 00:25:26,736
Yeah, you know why? You know why?
667
00:25:26,778 --> 00:25:29,072
'Cause you can't get it up
unless you call me "Mommy."
668
00:25:29,113 --> 00:25:31,032
Do you guys know that?
What's up with that?
669
00:25:31,074 --> 00:25:33,367
You miss sucking on
Mommy's titties, huh?
670
00:25:33,409 --> 00:25:35,870
Yes! Yes, I do!
671
00:25:35,912 --> 00:25:37,330
You know what? I actually like
672
00:25:37,371 --> 00:25:39,665
sucking Mom's tits better than yours!
673
00:25:39,707 --> 00:25:41,250
Guys, that's not great
674
00:25:41,292 --> 00:25:42,668
- for the dog.
- Or anyone.
675
00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:46,005
Even if I stitched Michael
Fassbender's foreskin
676
00:25:46,047 --> 00:25:47,924
onto Orlando Bloom's dick...
677
00:25:47,965 --> 00:25:50,051
And Frankensteined the perfect penis,
678
00:25:50,093 --> 00:25:51,969
I still couldn't get it up for you!
679
00:25:52,011 --> 00:25:53,346
Are you gonna finally stroke out
680
00:25:53,388 --> 00:25:56,057
and leave me with all
your daddy's money, huh?
681
00:25:56,099 --> 00:25:59,811
Come on. Come on, McEnroe. Come on.
682
00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:03,022
Okay, stay here, and stay quiet.
683
00:26:03,064 --> 00:26:04,440
I'm gonna get you outta here tonight.
684
00:26:04,482 --> 00:26:05,525
Okay? Yeah.
685
00:26:05,566 --> 00:26:07,068
You think that hurt me?
686
00:26:07,110 --> 00:26:08,903
You think sending him away hurt me?
687
00:26:08,945 --> 00:26:10,238
- Okay!
- You can't fucking hurt me.
688
00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:11,823
What do you want? You want the spa day
689
00:26:11,864 --> 00:26:13,157
at the Peninsula, honey, huh?
690
00:26:13,199 --> 00:26:14,367
Do you want the deep tissue?
691
00:26:14,409 --> 00:26:16,077
Do you want me to buy that for you?
692
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,787
You're gonna continue to buy my love!
693
00:26:17,829 --> 00:26:19,288
You're a fucking monster,
694
00:26:19,330 --> 00:26:21,290
and you've never loved anything
695
00:26:21,332 --> 00:26:24,043
in your entire life except that dog!
696
00:26:24,085 --> 00:26:26,421
That's it! How pathetic
is that, everyone?
697
00:26:26,462 --> 00:26:28,923
- So now it's the dog's fault?
- Oh, sure!
698
00:26:28,965 --> 00:26:30,216
Yeah, it's the dog's fault!
699
00:26:30,258 --> 00:26:32,051
Sure, it's the fucking dog's fault!
700
00:26:32,093 --> 00:26:33,386
You want me to shut the dog up?
701
00:26:33,428 --> 00:26:35,221
Yeah, go shut the fucking dog up!
702
00:26:35,263 --> 00:26:37,098
Okay. I'll shut the fucking dog up!
703
00:26:37,140 --> 00:26:38,140
Do you need Mommy's help?
704
00:26:38,141 --> 00:26:39,851
You think you can handle that?
705
00:26:39,852 --> 00:26:40,852
You got that, hon?
706
00:26:40,852 --> 00:26:42,437
Goddamn it!
707
00:26:42,478 --> 00:26:44,856
Hey, I know this is a terrible time.
708
00:26:44,897 --> 00:26:48,067
I'm so sorry, but, um, you're
friends with Jessica Alba, right?
709
00:26:48,109 --> 00:26:49,861
- Yeah.
- You are?
710
00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:52,071
Yeah, she's really sweet, actually.
711
00:26:52,113 --> 00:26:54,115
- Um...
- Fuck off and die!
712
00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:56,242
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
713
00:26:56,284 --> 00:26:57,952
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
714
00:26:57,994 --> 00:26:59,412
No.
715
00:26:59,454 --> 00:27:01,289
- What's he doing?
- Someone...
716
00:27:01,330 --> 00:27:03,124
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
717
00:27:03,166 --> 00:27:04,876
- Uh...
- No, you should stay here.
718
00:27:06,335 --> 00:27:07,795
Wait...
719
00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:09,130
He's got a gun.
720
00:27:09,172 --> 00:27:10,298
- He's got a gun.
- Oh, my God.
721
00:27:10,339 --> 00:27:11,883
Oh, my God.
722
00:27:11,924 --> 00:27:12,924
Watch out. Watch out!
723
00:27:12,925 --> 00:27:15,094
Oh, my God.
724
00:27:15,136 --> 00:27:16,763
What did you do?
725
00:27:18,848 --> 00:27:20,475
I shut the dog up.
726
00:27:22,310 --> 00:27:24,937
Oh, no.
727
00:27:27,815 --> 00:27:29,358
I shut it up.
728
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,651
Oh, my God.
729
00:27:30,693 --> 00:27:32,653
Simon, please put that down.
730
00:27:34,697 --> 00:27:39,452
- What the fuck did you...
- I shut the fucking dog up is what I did.
731
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,337
Okay, easy, please. Please, please.
732
00:27:49,379 --> 00:27:53,341
No, no, no.
733
00:28:05,978 --> 00:28:10,024
I'm gonna come around you, okay?
734
00:28:10,066 --> 00:28:15,363
Hey. Just focus on me.
735
00:28:15,405 --> 00:28:17,573
All right?
736
00:28:17,615 --> 00:28:20,493
That's good. That's good.
737
00:28:20,535 --> 00:28:24,539
Man, you must be in shock.
738
00:28:27,750 --> 00:28:30,545
You're not a bad person.
739
00:28:30,586 --> 00:28:34,465
We all have anger in us.
740
00:28:34,507 --> 00:28:36,884
I know. It's okay.
741
00:28:36,926 --> 00:28:38,094
It's okay. It's all right.
742
00:28:38,136 --> 00:28:39,637
It's good. Yeah, yeah. That's good.
743
00:28:39,679 --> 00:28:40,679
You don't wanna do this.
744
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,932
Yeah. That's good.
745
00:28:42,974 --> 00:28:44,892
McEnroe!
746
00:28:47,228 --> 00:28:48,896
- Okay, Tory.
- You all right?
747
00:28:48,938 --> 00:28:50,064
I got you.
748
00:28:50,106 --> 00:28:51,106
I got you.
749
00:28:51,107 --> 00:28:52,400
He just lost his mind?
750
00:28:52,442 --> 00:28:55,903
Oh, no!
751
00:28:55,945 --> 00:28:57,739
I'm so sorry.
752
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:23,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
753
00:30:12,647 --> 00:30:14,148
Nice shot, Dad.
53005
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