All language subtitles for Based on a True Story - 01x06 - Love You, Buzzfeed.PCOK.WEBRip.GalaxyTV.English.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,396 Babe, we did it! Oh, my God, okay. 3 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,606 - Here's another one. You ready? - Yeah. 4 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,566 "VICE Magazine," "'Based on a True Story,' 5 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:24,692 real or hoax? 6 00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:25,818 The podcast that's gripped the nation." 7 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:26,986 Holy shit. 8 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,404 - Keep going. - Yep, we got one 9 00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,364 from BuzzFeed: "Top ten moments you can't miss 10 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,241 from 'Based on a True Story.'" 11 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:34,243 - Love you, BuzzFeed. - Another amazing one. 12 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,369 "New York Times Magazine," 13 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,038 "Bill Kristol and Noam Chomsky debate, 14 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,832 'What does "Based on a True Story" say about America?'" 15 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,542 It says, the best... 16 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,419 - country ever! - Oh, my God. 17 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:46,422 Charli D'Amelio tweeted "My new favorite obsession! 18 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,257 #basedonatruestory!" 19 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,759 - Who's Charli D'Amelio? - I loved her 20 00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:51,427 from "Dancing with the Stars." She won last year... 21 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,553 - Okay. - But she also has, like, 22 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,472 150 million followers on TikTok, 23 00:00:54,514 --> 00:00:56,057 so we are fucking viral, babe! 24 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,433 Uh-oh, look who's callin' here. 25 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,394 Okay. Hey, you see the Daily Beast? 26 00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:03,231 Who is the voice of "Based on a True Story"? 27 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,108 Can you believe that? 28 00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,235 Man, we are everywhere. 29 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,569 Right? 30 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,821 How far away are you? 31 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,407 I'm just on Sunset. I'll see you soon. 32 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,868 - Why did she invite him? - I don't know. 33 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,162 It's like, if I know someone, she has to know them too. 34 00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,580 My friend has to be her friend. 35 00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,416 If I have a plumber, she has to have the same plumber. 36 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:23,209 - It's like, fuck off. - Yeah. 37 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,503 This is gonna be a fucking great party. 38 00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,472 - All right. - Hi, guys. 39 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:39,058 - Wow. - Welcome. Hi. 40 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,643 - Beautiful in here. - Oh, thank you. 41 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,770 - You look amazing. You're huge. - Thank you. 42 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,272 - Uh... - Hi. 43 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,190 - Hi, girls. - So good to see you. 44 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,776 - You guys look gorgeous. - This dress... 45 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,611 - Cut two dresses... - Stop. 46 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,071 - And put it together. - No, you did not. 47 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,197 - Hi! - Tory! 48 00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,365 - Hi, sis. - Hello. 49 00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:55,783 Little kid. 50 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:56,825 You need a sweater. 51 00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:58,369 - Oh, hi. - No, let it all out. 52 00:01:58,411 --> 00:02:00,955 - How was school? - I just graduated. 53 00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:03,583 - You look smarter. - Looking for a place to stay, 54 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,835 you know, before baby comes and kicks me out. 55 00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:07,420 Oh, my God, no one is kicking you out. 56 00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:08,921 - Is there food yet? - Yeah, inside. 57 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,673 - Bye. - Hi. 58 00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:12,925 - Who's your date? - Tinder guy. 59 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,887 Uh, no, actually, Bumble guy. Jacob. 60 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,138 Another fuckfest. 61 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,015 Oh, no, it's, like, a little early. 62 00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:20,516 - Is it? - Alcohol? 63 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:21,642 - Mm-hmm, yes. - Yeah. 64 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,061 - Yes, yes. - I see this. 65 00:02:23,062 --> 00:02:24,062 - Bye. - Holding hands. 66 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,271 Intimate. 67 00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:28,232 I used to hate these things. 68 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,650 I always got outbid. 69 00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,319 - Not anymore, babe. - Not anymore. 70 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,612 Look at this watch. 71 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,572 Ten-day vacation... Four Seasons in Maui. 72 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,365 Ooh, I like that one. 73 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,700 - What else we got here? - A little wine tasting at home? 74 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:39,827 That would be nice too. 75 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,329 A brick. 76 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,706 - What is that? - "A single brick salvaged 77 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:46,876 from the last Manhattan residence of Edgar Allan Poe"? 78 00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:49,087 A creepy brick owned by a horror writer? 79 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,255 - I have to have that. - Early anniversary present? 80 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,549 - That is so mine. - It's gonna be yours, baby. 81 00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:56,386 - It also works as a weapon. - Hey, it's my two favorite people. 82 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,679 - Hey, Matt. - Hey. 83 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,391 - Hey, Michelle. - Hey. 84 00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,393 I didn't know you were coming. 85 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,811 - Well, surprise. - Yay. 86 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,437 - Yeah. - Great. Yeah. 87 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:09,690 And it's great that you guys... um, how are you? 88 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:13,027 You know what? We are awesome. 89 00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:16,406 Yeah, and we have Nathan to thank because he set us up. 90 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,824 - Yeah. - Oh, I... no, I didn't. 91 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,492 I... I definitely didn't set you up. 92 00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,869 No, no, you did. You did, remember? 93 00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:22,954 I... I said he was hot, 94 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:25,790 and then you said he was good people. 95 00:03:25,832 --> 00:03:27,208 Buddy, thanks. 96 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,793 - I owe you. - I didn't... 97 00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,586 Good people? 98 00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:33,923 Oop, excuse me. 99 00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,008 Thank you so much. 100 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,428 Oh, my God, these canapes are amazing. 101 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,179 Ugh, I know. I've had, like, 17 of them. 102 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:42,432 Uh... 103 00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:47,228 Uh... Carlos is here. 104 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,105 Mm, mm-hmm. 105 00:03:49,147 --> 00:03:51,065 Yeah. 106 00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,775 You invited Carlos? 107 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,861 Yes. I want all my friends here. 108 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,362 Oh, my God. You invite him to, like, 109 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,448 socialize too? 110 00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,074 Well, this is the first one, 111 00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,451 but Simon doesn't care. 112 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:02,827 - Hey. - See? 113 00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:03,869 All good. 114 00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,580 You guys are so fucking weird. 115 00:04:07,999 --> 00:04:09,459 Hey, guys. 116 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,462 Bring it in. 117 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,297 Look at these new numbers. 118 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,632 15 million downloads. 119 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,176 That's a lot of fuckin' money. 120 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,594 Yeah, that's a lot of money. 121 00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:20,596 - Like, a million dollars. - Can you believe that? 122 00:04:20,596 --> 00:04:21,804 Can you believe that? 123 00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,140 Yeah, but you know what the next question is? 124 00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:25,558 How do we make it bigger? 125 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,310 Okay, let's just enjoy this moment. 126 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:28,644 We gotta push it. Look. 127 00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:30,438 I went on a bit of a deep dive on Reddit. 128 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,940 Okay, 24% of our fans, 129 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,151 they want me to keep talking about my greatest hits 130 00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:37,653 over and over like I'm Billy fucking Joel, 131 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,573 but 76%, guess what they want? 132 00:04:40,615 --> 00:04:42,492 - Don't say it. - Fresh new content, 133 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,533 - motherfuckers. - No. 134 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,827 - No. - Yeah. Yeah. 135 00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:45,870 We're not talking about that anymore. 136 00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:48,465 - They said it. - Faking it worked pretty good in Vegas. 137 00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:50,708 The fake was great. It was great. It was a one-time thing. 138 00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:51,709 - How 'bout a two-time thing? - It was great. 139 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:52,840 - No, we've gotta listen - Why? 140 00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:54,796 to our 15-million fanbase, 141 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,339 and we gotta keep it real for them. 142 00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:57,715 Okay, listen to this. 143 00:04:57,757 --> 00:05:00,134 Spotify is talking about a $20-million deal with us. 144 00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:01,594 - Yeah. - So how 'bout that's keeping 145 00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:03,971 - shit real, bro? - That's keeping it real real, 146 00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:05,681 so just keep your shit together, 147 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:08,101 don't fuck it up, and just keep cool. 148 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,435 Offer's comin' in any minute. 149 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,561 We're all gonna be rich. 150 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:12,188 Okay. Great. 151 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:13,773 - Got it? - I got it, yeah. 152 00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:16,067 - Don't fuck this up. - Okay, don't fuck it up. 153 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:51,602 Yeah? 154 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,032 Okay, ready? Oh, good catch. 155 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,743 Good boy. Come here. Come here. 156 00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:09,912 Come here, boy, you handsome boy. 157 00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:14,625 Ooh. Oh, good catch. 158 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,377 Oh, Duke is such a handsome boy. 159 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,129 - Come here. - Hey. 160 00:06:18,171 --> 00:06:20,131 Do you wanna try this edible flower? 161 00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:22,925 Do you think we could get the dog back? 162 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,761 Uh, sorry, what? 163 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,137 - Are you kidding? - I just... I... 164 00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:28,139 I'm really feeling like 165 00:06:28,181 --> 00:06:29,557 he wants to come home. 166 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:32,060 Okay, babe. We gave them the dog. 167 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:34,103 You can't ask for something like that back. 168 00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,646 - That's insane. - We gave him the dog 169 00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:37,315 because our yard was too small. 170 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:39,357 - Yes. - But that's about to fucking change. 171 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,693 We're gonna have a huge yard. 172 00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:42,153 He should come home. 173 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,529 I mean, look... look at the way he's... 174 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,406 he throws the ball like such a pussy. 175 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:46,866 He's like... - Anybody see that? 176 00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:48,743 It is kind of a lame throw. 177 00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:50,495 - Right? Just like... - Yeah, but that doesn't mean 178 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:51,662 you can steal the dog back. 179 00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:53,706 Good catch, Duke! 180 00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:54,832 His name is McEnroe. 181 00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:56,667 It's not Duke, and he knows it. 182 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:58,252 You gotta let it go, okay? 183 00:06:58,294 --> 00:06:59,504 We can't ask for the dog back. 184 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,340 Okay, fine. We'll buy him back. 185 00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:04,717 You know how much Simon loves this dog? 186 00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:06,594 He does. He's obsessed. 187 00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,513 He sleeps in the guesthouse with him. 188 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,056 Do you think I give a shit? 189 00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:13,142 Hey, pal. 190 00:07:14,727 --> 00:07:16,145 It's us. He's look... he's looking at... 191 00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:17,522 - Babe, he's not looking at us. - He's looking at us. 192 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,315 No, he's not. You can't take something 193 00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:20,357 - like that away. - Hey. 194 00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:21,359 That's... that's nuts. 195 00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:22,485 Yeah, um, can I... 196 00:07:22,527 --> 00:07:23,653 can I grab you for a second? I just... 197 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,862 - Yeah. - I need a hand. 198 00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:27,740 Yes. Please don't steal the dog, okay? 199 00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,450 Come here, Duke. Come to me. Come to me. 200 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,993 Oh, come here. Good catch. 201 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,496 Good boy. Come here. Come here. 202 00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:35,081 Okay, Duke. 203 00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:36,416 Go get it. 204 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,501 Oh, good catch. You're such a handsome boy. 205 00:07:38,543 --> 00:07:39,752 Bring it back. Bring it back. 206 00:07:50,388 --> 00:07:53,933 Just love this room! 207 00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:55,893 It's so beautiful. Where are the party favors? 208 00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,478 - You hiding them up here? - Ava... 209 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,896 Also, you have no pictures. 210 00:07:58,938 --> 00:08:01,399 - It's really weird. - Hey, are you okay? 211 00:08:01,441 --> 00:08:03,568 What? 212 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,156 What... what is that? 213 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,032 I don't know. You tell me. 214 00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:12,076 I saw it fall out of your pocket at CrimeCon. 215 00:08:12,118 --> 00:08:15,329 I've... I've never seen that before in my life. 216 00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:16,748 You've never seen this before in your life? 217 00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:17,874 - No. - Ever? 218 00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,417 - No. - Okay. 219 00:08:19,459 --> 00:08:22,795 "WTF? You killed Dahlia? 220 00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,297 You made a podcast without us? 221 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:27,175 Meet us outside in the corridor now." 222 00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:31,220 You're "Based on a True Story," aren't you? 223 00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:32,305 The... 224 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:35,058 "Based on a"... the... the... the podcast? 225 00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,768 Ava, I-I just... I wanna help you. 226 00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:37,894 - Are you in danger? - No. 227 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,687 Because I... I called the number 228 00:08:39,729 --> 00:08:40,813 on this phone, and Matt answered. 229 00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:43,066 I don't... no. What? 230 00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:45,443 He's the Westside fucking Ripper, isn't he? 231 00:08:45,485 --> 00:08:46,944 What is going on? 232 00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:48,404 - Okay... - Why... why are you doing this? 233 00:08:48,446 --> 00:08:49,864 - Is... is he threatening you... - It's not what you think. 234 00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:51,115 - Or Nathan? - Oh, my God, no. 235 00:08:51,157 --> 00:08:53,367 It's not... it's not like that at all. 236 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:55,286 No? Then what is it? Because it says right here 237 00:08:55,328 --> 00:08:56,954 that he killed that girl in Vegas. 238 00:08:56,996 --> 00:08:58,790 Okay, is that why you invited Matt tonight? 239 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,083 So you could ask me about this? 240 00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:01,793 I mean, I invited him to find out 241 00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:03,461 if he's the guy so I... so I could help you, 242 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:05,213 but if you don't want my help, I'll just go to the cops with... 243 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,672 No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 244 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,841 There's no... we don't need to... let's just all calm down. 245 00:09:08,883 --> 00:09:10,301 No cops. You don't need to call anybody. 246 00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:12,470 Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm gonna tell you the truth. 247 00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:14,097 - Okay? - Okay. 248 00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,766 Nathan and I are broke. 249 00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,893 We... we were gonna lose the house. 250 00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:20,353 - What? - I know, and Matt was over, 251 00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:21,979 and we started talking, and it turns out 252 00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:25,149 he's a... he's this, like, crime fanatic junkie like us. 253 00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:29,529 So the three of us decided to make a fake podcast 254 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:33,366 where Matt pretends to be the Westside Ripper. 255 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:40,164 So Matt is pretending to be a serial killer? 256 00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:41,541 I know. When you say it like that, 257 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:42,667 it sounds really bad, but... 258 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,294 it-it's so bad and... and fucked up. 259 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:47,296 I know it sounds like that, but we were desperate, 260 00:09:47,338 --> 00:09:49,298 desperate, completely desperate, and... 261 00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,509 and then Matt, like, he got, like, really into it, 262 00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:53,261 and he pretended he was the guy 263 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,804 that pushed that girl off the roof. 264 00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:56,180 And people got obsessed. 265 00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:58,474 They couldn't get enough of it. 266 00:09:58,516 --> 00:10:01,644 So you're saying that all of this is... is fake 267 00:10:01,686 --> 00:10:02,854 and that guy's just a plumber? 268 00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:06,566 - Yes! - Because this looks pretty fucking real to me. 269 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:07,775 Well, good. 270 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:10,319 We... We got you. 271 00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:11,404 That's good. 272 00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:12,613 That... 273 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,365 Come on. 274 00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:19,036 Do you think that I would be in business with a real serial killer? 275 00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:22,039 I mean, you sound insane. 276 00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:24,709 That would be the biggest fucking stupidest thing 277 00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:26,377 I could do, right? 278 00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:28,129 Right? 279 00:10:29,756 --> 00:10:30,882 - Yeah. - Right. 280 00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,216 Please don't tell anybody. 281 00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:36,929 Truly, like, I... I literally dragged Nathan into this shit show. 282 00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:38,431 There's a baby coming. 283 00:10:38,473 --> 00:10:41,184 Our lives could be over. 284 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,435 Please. 285 00:10:44,437 --> 00:10:45,813 Okay. 286 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,815 Okay. Yeah, no, no, no. I... I... 287 00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:48,900 I won't say a word. 288 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,735 Thank you. 289 00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:53,154 - Thank you. - Wow. 290 00:10:53,196 --> 00:10:56,240 I got to admit, this is... this is kind of genius. 291 00:10:56,282 --> 00:10:58,785 "Based on a True Story" is based on a fake story. 292 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,870 - I know. - I-I wish I'd thought of it. 293 00:11:00,912 --> 00:11:03,456 Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Mm-hmm. 294 00:11:03,498 --> 00:11:04,791 Thank you. 295 00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,377 I got your back. 296 00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:10,588 - Thank you. Okay. Okay. - Let's go back outside. 297 00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:13,633 Duke, Duke. Duke. 298 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:14,674 - Duke. - McEnroe. See? 299 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,052 He likes McEnroe. McEnroe. 300 00:11:16,094 --> 00:11:17,595 McEnroe, right there. 301 00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,098 Good boy. 302 00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:21,808 Yes! Come on, buddy. 303 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,518 - Come here. Come here. - Come on, buddy. 304 00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:29,273 Come to me, Duke. Come to me, Duke. 305 00:11:31,234 --> 00:11:32,276 Good boy. 306 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,987 - Ready? Go. - Okay. 307 00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:37,156 I... I got it. Okay, here we go. 308 00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,533 Go get it. 309 00:11:38,534 --> 00:11:39,534 Here boy. Come on. 310 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,830 - Here, boy. Come on. - Duke. 311 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,164 - Hey, hey. - Come on. 312 00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:46,874 Bring it to me. Bring it to me, to me. 313 00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:49,085 - Me, me. - McEnroe, look at me. 314 00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:51,504 Come here, pal. Come here, pal. 315 00:11:51,546 --> 00:11:52,588 Look at me. Come here. 316 00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:54,215 - Bring it to me. To me. - Duke. Duke! 317 00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:58,136 Come to me, Duke. Come to me. 318 00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:00,763 Come to me. Come to me, Duke. 319 00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:03,099 Yay... oh! 320 00:12:03,141 --> 00:12:05,393 Aah! 321 00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:11,899 Help! Help! 322 00:12:25,371 --> 00:12:27,582 I'm gonna getcha outta here. 323 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,106 - McEnroe. - Duke. 324 00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:53,524 - McEnroe. - Come to me. Come to me, Duke. 325 00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:54,901 - Bring it to me. - Come to me. Come to me, Duke. 326 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,277 - Duke! - Look at me. 327 00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:57,319 - Come to me. Come to me. - McEnroe. 328 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,863 Come to me. Yeah, yeah. 329 00:12:58,905 --> 00:12:59,905 - Oh! Oh, don't... - Good boy. 330 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:05,995 Hey. 331 00:13:06,037 --> 00:13:07,830 Hi. Hi. 332 00:13:07,872 --> 00:13:10,041 You good? 333 00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,710 Um, yes. 334 00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:14,462 Yes, I'm good. 335 00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:17,215 Everybody, please take a seat inside. 336 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:20,176 Dinner first, and then the auction. 337 00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,097 Yeah, he likes me so much better than Simon. 338 00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:27,183 - I know. - Let's get that fuckin' brick. 339 00:13:27,225 --> 00:13:30,812 Hey, did you call me before? 340 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,730 Uh, it was a butt-dial, sorry. 341 00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:34,357 - Really? - Yep. 342 00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,025 Where's the trust, partner? 343 00:13:42,782 --> 00:13:44,367 The same caterer did my... our wedding. 344 00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:46,452 - I didn't know that. - Uh-huh. 345 00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:48,204 - That's right. - Yeah. 346 00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:49,247 Hm? 347 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:50,289 - Absolutely. - It's great. 348 00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,331 - Okay. - I wish he would take 349 00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,332 - an interest in my... - I mean... 350 00:13:55,962 --> 00:13:57,964 - You tried your cake? - No. 351 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,090 Goodness. 352 00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:00,133 Thank you. 353 00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,634 Nice to see you. 354 00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:04,303 So are you a part of the crew now? 355 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:05,972 Hey, did you crush those midterms? 356 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,433 Yeah, I'm going to UCLA Law in the fall. 357 00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:10,727 - Oh, my God. Congrats. - Yeah, thanks. 358 00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:12,311 So we're gonna see a lot more of you. 359 00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:14,355 - Yeah, a whole lot more. - Awesome. 360 00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:16,357 "Crushed those midterms"? 361 00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:18,526 So a sign of the times, I tried to put an ad 362 00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:21,863 on that hot true crime podcast, "Based on a True Story." 363 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,072 - Hot. - Brilliant. 364 00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:24,282 Such a hot show. 365 00:14:24,323 --> 00:14:26,284 - Is that not a genius idea? - Right? 366 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:27,785 - Yeah. - Amazing. 367 00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:29,370 - Brilliant. - Yeah. 368 00:14:29,412 --> 00:14:31,080 - I love that. - Oh, my gosh, it gets me hot. 369 00:14:31,122 --> 00:14:32,373 - So brilliant. - It's so good. 370 00:14:32,415 --> 00:14:33,708 - I think it's fake. - Oh, yeah? 371 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,461 Yeah, like, the, um... the Orson Welles thing? 372 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,628 Uh, "War of the Worlds"? 373 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,714 It could be just street theater. 374 00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,841 Absolutely not. Are you kidding me? 375 00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:43,176 You heard this guy's voice? 376 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,802 That's a stabby voice. 377 00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:47,221 - What? - I buy it 100%. 378 00:14:47,263 --> 00:14:48,890 - That guy is the killer. - Mm. 379 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,350 - You should just ask them. - There's no chance. 380 00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:53,895 - Yeah. - You never talk to anybody. 381 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,188 - Oh. - No, you... 382 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,273 you email a shell corporation. 383 00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:58,816 You pay them in crypto. 384 00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:02,487 Nobody knows where they are or who they are. 385 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:05,031 - Wow. - I wouldn't pay them a cent. 386 00:15:05,073 --> 00:15:07,909 Paul, the guy is killing people. 387 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,702 Okay, Richard. 388 00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:13,539 Last time I checked, there is still free speech in America. 389 00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:15,833 Okay, even if that speech is about 390 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,335 how you just killed someone? 391 00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:18,669 Yeah, especially then. 392 00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:21,172 You... you wanna outlaw offensive speech? 393 00:15:21,214 --> 00:15:22,882 Who decides what goes on the list? 394 00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:24,425 Me? You? 395 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:28,221 I listen to it, and I think it's totally fucking disgusting. 396 00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,931 I think that you're right. 397 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,557 I think that it's all true. 398 00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:33,184 I think he's a serial killer. 399 00:15:33,226 --> 00:15:35,061 And I think the people that are helping him 400 00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:36,687 are far worse than he is. 401 00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:38,606 - Oh. What people? - Preach, sister. 402 00:15:38,648 --> 00:15:39,899 - There's an interviewer. - Hm? 403 00:15:39,941 --> 00:15:41,442 - Don't say that. - Right? I mean, somebody... 404 00:15:41,484 --> 00:15:42,860 - No, that's not your word. - Has to be helping him. 405 00:15:42,902 --> 00:15:46,364 The Westside Ripper has some kind of brain defect, 406 00:15:46,406 --> 00:15:48,866 but these parasites are making money off of him. 407 00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:50,868 They should go to prison longer than he does. 408 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,121 That's a very good point. 409 00:15:53,162 --> 00:15:54,414 No, they really should. 410 00:15:54,455 --> 00:15:56,290 - Think about it. - Mm. 411 00:15:56,332 --> 00:15:58,668 I don't know. I... 412 00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:00,878 there's nothing wrong with makin' money. 413 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,089 I love money. You love money. 414 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:04,632 You love money. 415 00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,092 Money's great. 416 00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:07,427 Puts food on the table, 417 00:16:07,468 --> 00:16:09,429 puts our kids through school. 418 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,556 Carlos loves money. Right? 419 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:12,849 What? 420 00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:17,353 Can't open your gym on the East Coast without money, right? 421 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:19,605 Uh, it certainly would help, yeah. 422 00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:22,567 Mm, guys, I think it's time 423 00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:24,777 to start bidding on the items, right? 424 00:16:24,819 --> 00:16:27,029 I just wanna say I love Carlos' business plan. 425 00:16:27,071 --> 00:16:29,365 - Oh, my God. - And I... 426 00:16:29,407 --> 00:16:30,783 I want to invest in it. 427 00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:33,786 Wait, you... you want to invest in my gym? 428 00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:37,957 Yeah, I want to finance the whole thing by myself. 429 00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:40,460 Well, that's... 430 00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:41,711 Wait, are you serious? 431 00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:42,962 100%. 432 00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:44,004 - Great. - Yeah? 433 00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:45,089 When do we start? 434 00:16:47,008 --> 00:16:48,926 Now. 435 00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,928 What? 436 00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,805 Now. 437 00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:54,098 Like, right now. 438 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:55,266 Immediately. 439 00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:57,894 Immediately? 440 00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,312 He's joking. 441 00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,355 He's just... 442 00:17:01,397 --> 00:17:03,608 Go pack a bag, 443 00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,068 go to LAX, 444 00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:07,862 get on the red-eye, go to New York, get to work. 445 00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:10,448 It's gonna take a couple of years. 446 00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,241 I'm gonna need you there the whole time 447 00:17:12,283 --> 00:17:14,869 overseeing construction, the plans, 448 00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:18,414 and you're not gonna be able to come back here ever. 449 00:17:23,878 --> 00:17:26,339 Why you doing this? 450 00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:28,800 - Hm? - Hm? 451 00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:30,927 Why are you doing this right now? 452 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,220 Is it 'cause I invited him? 453 00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:35,139 What? 454 00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:36,682 I believe in Carlos. 455 00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:38,851 I like Carlos' business plan. 456 00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:41,979 Unless there's something that Carlos loves 457 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:45,191 more than money here in LA. 458 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:46,401 Then he should stay. 459 00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:51,697 Okay. 460 00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:55,493 I just transferred you $250,000. 461 00:17:55,494 --> 00:17:56,494 What? 462 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:06,587 When I get my investment back, we'll go 50/50. 463 00:18:06,629 --> 00:18:09,424 If it works out, I'll finance a national rollout, 464 00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:12,427 but you gotta go right now. 465 00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:21,435 You don't have to go. 466 00:18:21,436 --> 00:18:24,272 Babe, please, stay for me. 467 00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:25,773 You gotta go, Carlos. 468 00:18:28,151 --> 00:18:29,318 I'm sorry. 469 00:18:30,236 --> 00:18:32,196 Oh. 470 00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:47,086 Are you fucking insane? 471 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,468 Why would you do that? 472 00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,928 Why the fuck do you even care? 473 00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:01,017 God. 474 00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,478 Hey, buddy. 475 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,021 You got some interesting friends. 476 00:19:05,063 --> 00:19:08,441 Okay, let's help some teen runaways! 477 00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:12,320 Oh, my God. 478 00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:14,197 I cannot believe that happened. 479 00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:16,740 You okay? 480 00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:18,242 I know you really loved Carlos. 481 00:19:18,284 --> 00:19:19,786 Oh, fuck Carlos. 482 00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,537 I never loved Carlos, 483 00:19:21,579 --> 00:19:24,707 but fuck him for leaving. 484 00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:28,294 Well, I mean, we all know you're gonna be just fine. 485 00:19:28,336 --> 00:19:30,213 - Will I? - Yes. 486 00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,132 'Cause I feel like I'm pretty fucked right now. 487 00:19:33,174 --> 00:19:37,178 Ava, look at my life right now. 488 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,763 Take a good look. 489 00:19:38,805 --> 00:19:41,140 You gotta let me in on the podcast. 490 00:19:41,182 --> 00:19:43,851 Okay? It's... it's literally all that I got. 491 00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:48,147 Okay, uh, maybe we should talk about this another time. 492 00:19:48,189 --> 00:19:50,191 No, no, no, 'cause... 'cause I can help you. 493 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,402 You know, you... you know I'm great with marketing. 494 00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:54,987 Right? And branding, and I know this world. 495 00:19:55,029 --> 00:19:57,407 And we're the "Wine & Crime" girls, right? 496 00:19:57,448 --> 00:19:58,950 - Yeah, I can't do this. - Oh, well, I... 497 00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,868 because do you remember that guy... 498 00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,787 that guy that I had a thing with in Cabo last year? 499 00:20:02,829 --> 00:20:05,248 'Cause he's huge at Wondery, 500 00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:06,374 and... and he's married, 501 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:07,792 so he definitely owes me a solid. 502 00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:09,961 I can get him to make us a preemptive offer, 503 00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:12,672 you know, probably a really, really big one. 504 00:20:12,714 --> 00:20:14,298 - Oh, my God. - Yes. 505 00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:18,678 So some guy is gonna make us a multimillion-dollar offer 506 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,513 because he went down on you in Cabo? 507 00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:23,391 Yeah, that is how the world works. 508 00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:25,268 How do you not know that? 509 00:20:25,309 --> 00:20:27,061 Okay, just trust me. 510 00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:29,147 You shouldn't get involved in this 'cause it's a mess. 511 00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,523 Okay, hold on. 512 00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:31,691 Don't come at me like you're my friend now. 513 00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:34,819 - What? - No, I know exactly what's going on. 514 00:20:34,861 --> 00:20:37,572 I mean, I know Matt's the killer. 515 00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,907 I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. 516 00:20:39,949 --> 00:20:41,367 Okay. 517 00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:42,952 So if I took Matt's wine glass 518 00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:44,704 and took it down to the police station, 519 00:20:44,746 --> 00:20:48,040 you're telling me that his DNA wouldn't be an exact match 520 00:20:48,082 --> 00:20:49,542 to the Westside Ripper? 521 00:20:52,754 --> 00:20:54,756 If you tell a single person about this, 522 00:20:54,797 --> 00:20:57,508 I will fucking end you. 523 00:20:57,550 --> 00:20:59,135 But I already told Simon. 524 00:21:00,553 --> 00:21:02,430 - What? - Yeah. 525 00:21:02,472 --> 00:21:04,432 - I told him. - You told... 526 00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,059 you told Simon? Are you insane? 527 00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,394 - Why would you do that? - Because he's a lawyer, 528 00:21:08,436 --> 00:21:09,812 and he will protect me! 529 00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:12,065 Oh, my God. He's not gonna protect you. 530 00:21:12,106 --> 00:21:14,525 He fucking hates you. He hates everything about you! 531 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,736 Oh, sweetie. 532 00:21:16,778 --> 00:21:18,154 That's just married talk. 533 00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:19,697 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe 534 00:21:19,739 --> 00:21:22,825 you would be stupid enough to fucking tell Simon! 535 00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:25,203 Oh, I absolutely am that stupid. 536 00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:26,746 And why not? 537 00:21:26,788 --> 00:21:29,957 I mean, it's worked pretty well for me so far, right? 538 00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,459 Tell me something. 539 00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:36,923 Who's the one living in a mansion in the Palisades, 540 00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:39,467 and who can't afford their mortgage in Mar Vista? 541 00:21:40,593 --> 00:21:42,136 Okay, you listen to me, 542 00:21:42,178 --> 00:21:44,680 you with your little 400 calories a day, 543 00:21:44,722 --> 00:21:46,891 your cool sculpt, and your amazing blowjobs 544 00:21:46,933 --> 00:21:48,017 you can't stop bragging about... 545 00:21:48,059 --> 00:21:50,103 - They are amazing. - Well, 546 00:21:50,144 --> 00:21:52,772 not amazing enough to keep Carlos around. 547 00:21:52,814 --> 00:21:54,607 So if you wanna go steal 548 00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,442 the Westside Ripper's wine glass, 549 00:21:56,484 --> 00:21:57,902 good fucking luck. 550 00:21:57,944 --> 00:21:59,028 Fuck you. 551 00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:00,780 Fuck you, 'cause Nathan will bring me in 552 00:22:00,822 --> 00:22:03,616 'cause he is nothing like you! 553 00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:05,618 He will cut me in! 554 00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,162 And my blowjobs are the fucking best! 555 00:22:09,414 --> 00:22:12,458 Everyone in LA knows it... 556 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,793 and Dubai. 557 00:22:17,414 --> 00:22:19,507 900, $900. Ladies and gentlemen, 558 00:22:19,549 --> 00:22:22,719 it would be a dream within a dream if we got to $1,000. 559 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,513 Do I hear 1, $1,000 560 00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:26,764 for the Edgar Allan Poe brick. 561 00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:28,015 How 'bout a 1,200? Who'll do a 1,200? 562 00:22:28,057 --> 00:22:29,475 There's a fan of blood and murder for 1,200. 563 00:22:29,517 --> 00:22:31,310 Hey, can I talk to you for a second? 564 00:22:31,352 --> 00:22:33,229 Hold on, these fuckers are trying to steal your brick. 565 00:22:33,271 --> 00:22:34,689 - $1,300. - Okay, but... 566 00:22:34,731 --> 00:22:37,400 I need you for one second. 567 00:22:37,442 --> 00:22:39,068 - We're gonna lose the brick. - I don't care. 568 00:22:39,110 --> 00:22:40,778 Just come on. 569 00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:42,113 So here's the thing... don't panic 570 00:22:42,155 --> 00:22:43,823 when I tell you this... but I lost the burner. 571 00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:44,865 - What? - I got it back, 572 00:22:44,866 --> 00:22:45,867 but I dropped it in Vegas, 573 00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:47,285 and then Ruby, she found it, 574 00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:48,421 and now she's blackmailing us... 575 00:22:48,422 --> 00:22:49,423 - Oh, my fucking God. - and wants in on everything. 576 00:22:49,423 --> 00:22:50,538 - Ruby? - Yes. 577 00:22:50,539 --> 00:22:51,539 How did you not know you dropped it? 578 00:22:51,540 --> 00:22:53,541 It was an accident! Okay? We had been using yours. 579 00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:54,667 I barely use mine. I thought it was 580 00:22:54,709 --> 00:22:55,918 in my bag, but it fell out. 581 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,378 I know I fucked up, but she knows everything. 582 00:22:57,420 --> 00:22:59,213 She knows that Matt is the Westside Ripper, 583 00:22:59,255 --> 00:23:01,174 and she told me that she told Simon. 584 00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:03,926 - She told Simon? - Well, she might be bluffing. 585 00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:05,678 - I don't fuckin' know, but... - This is fine. It's fine. 586 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:06,888 We're gonna figure this out. 587 00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:08,181 But this place is toxic. 588 00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:09,807 Okay? I'm telling you, it's fucking toxic. 589 00:23:09,849 --> 00:23:12,060 They're nuts. I'm taking McEnroe outta here. 590 00:23:12,101 --> 00:23:13,978 Babe, who fucking cares about the dog right now? 591 00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:15,521 Just forget the fuckin' dog. 592 00:23:15,563 --> 00:23:17,106 We have bigger problems. 593 00:23:18,608 --> 00:23:20,068 - What? What? - Oh, shit. 594 00:23:20,109 --> 00:23:23,112 Alba, she just came out against us. 595 00:23:23,154 --> 00:23:24,322 No, not Alba. 596 00:23:24,363 --> 00:23:25,573 Jessica Alba just tweeted, 597 00:23:25,615 --> 00:23:27,950 "If #BasedOnATrueStory is true, it's sickening. 598 00:23:27,992 --> 00:23:29,452 If it's fake, it might be even worse. 599 00:23:29,494 --> 00:23:30,745 America, we're better than this. 600 00:23:30,787 --> 00:23:33,498 #CancelBasedOnATrueStory." 601 00:23:33,539 --> 00:23:35,083 Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. 602 00:23:35,124 --> 00:23:37,001 Okay, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, my God. 603 00:23:37,043 --> 00:23:38,043 Okay, maybe it's not gonna track. 604 00:23:38,044 --> 00:23:39,670 Maybe no one's gonna pick this up. 605 00:23:39,712 --> 00:23:42,090 Oh, shit. Malia Obama just retweeted it. 606 00:23:43,132 --> 00:23:45,093 Oh, my God, so did Tom Hanks. 607 00:23:45,134 --> 00:23:47,303 - Kylie Jenner. - Oh, my God. 608 00:23:47,345 --> 00:23:49,180 So did Dame Judi Dench. 609 00:23:49,222 --> 00:23:51,099 - Oh, I'm so sorry, babe. - Oh, my God. 610 00:23:51,140 --> 00:23:53,601 - I know you love her. - Are you seeing this shit? 611 00:23:53,643 --> 00:23:54,811 - Yes. - We're gonna get canceled? 612 00:23:54,852 --> 00:23:57,939 - Alba fucked us. - Okay, is there anyone that's for us? 613 00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:59,524 - For us? Um... - Who is? Look. 614 00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:00,775 - Kanye? - Okay, Kanye? 615 00:24:00,817 --> 00:24:02,235 Ugh, that's not good. 616 00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:03,277 The dude from NXIVM. 617 00:24:03,319 --> 00:24:04,570 Josh Duggar? 618 00:24:04,612 --> 00:24:05,905 Jared from Subway. 619 00:24:05,947 --> 00:24:07,156 - That's not good. - That's bad. 620 00:24:07,198 --> 00:24:08,241 No. 621 00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,951 This is fuckin' awful. 622 00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:11,119 There goes iTunes. 623 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,453 - We lost iTunes? - Yes. 624 00:24:12,495 --> 00:24:13,579 Okay. 625 00:24:13,621 --> 00:24:14,831 Okay, here's what we're gonna do. 626 00:24:14,872 --> 00:24:16,374 You and me, we're gettin' outta here. 627 00:24:16,416 --> 00:24:17,959 We're takin' the dog. We'll call you from the road. 628 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,419 You're taking the fucking dog? 629 00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:20,461 Our brand is under attack. 630 00:24:20,503 --> 00:24:21,754 We gotta act now. 631 00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:23,631 Here's our play, okay? 632 00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:25,174 The snowflakes can suck it. 633 00:24:25,216 --> 00:24:27,719 We're gonna double down just like our fans want. 634 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,053 - I'm gonna go out tonight... - No. 635 00:24:29,095 --> 00:24:31,931 - And I will... - We are not doing that, okay? 636 00:24:31,973 --> 00:24:33,808 We have to do something, but we are not doing that. 637 00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:34,850 You guys, if we don't do something, 638 00:24:34,851 --> 00:24:37,145 we are gonna lose the Spotify deal. 639 00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:38,855 Do you understand? So what do we do? 640 00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,481 Wait, wait. Hold on a second. 641 00:24:40,523 --> 00:24:41,691 Wait a minute. Doesn't... 642 00:24:41,733 --> 00:24:44,861 doesn't Ruby know Alba? 643 00:24:44,902 --> 00:24:48,406 Yes. You know what? She was her body double in "Spy Kids 4." 644 00:24:48,448 --> 00:24:49,615 Remember, she had the wig and the costume on 645 00:24:49,657 --> 00:24:50,825 one night after shooting? 646 00:24:50,867 --> 00:24:52,452 She loves to hold that over me. 647 00:24:52,493 --> 00:24:53,661 She went down on Kid Rock. 648 00:24:53,703 --> 00:24:54,912 - Someone took a photo. - Yeah. 649 00:24:54,954 --> 00:24:56,748 Why don't we get Ruby to tell Alba 650 00:24:56,789 --> 00:24:58,499 that we'll release the fuckin' photo 651 00:24:58,541 --> 00:24:59,834 unless she pulls the post? 652 00:24:59,876 --> 00:25:01,002 Why would Alba care? 653 00:25:01,044 --> 00:25:02,170 It's not her in the picture. 654 00:25:02,211 --> 00:25:03,963 It doesn't matter. It looks like her. 655 00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:05,840 No, the tweet's out there. It's taken flight. 656 00:25:05,882 --> 00:25:07,050 You go talk to Ruby. 657 00:25:07,091 --> 00:25:08,342 I'll find out what Simon knows. 658 00:25:08,384 --> 00:25:10,636 Ruby's not gonna do shit for us right now. 659 00:25:10,678 --> 00:25:12,680 - Trust me. - It's all we fuckin' got, 660 00:25:12,722 --> 00:25:14,223 guys. Let's go. Go. 661 00:25:14,265 --> 00:25:16,517 Big man, everyone! 662 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,353 Big fuckin' man. 663 00:25:19,395 --> 00:25:22,440 What kind of control freak buys his wife's boyfriend, huh? 664 00:25:22,482 --> 00:25:23,983 You're the one who invited him, honey, 665 00:25:24,025 --> 00:25:25,151 in front of all of our friends. 666 00:25:25,193 --> 00:25:26,736 Yeah, you know why? You know why? 667 00:25:26,778 --> 00:25:29,072 'Cause you can't get it up unless you call me "Mommy." 668 00:25:29,113 --> 00:25:31,032 Do you guys know that? What's up with that? 669 00:25:31,074 --> 00:25:33,367 You miss sucking on Mommy's titties, huh? 670 00:25:33,409 --> 00:25:35,870 Yes! Yes, I do! 671 00:25:35,912 --> 00:25:37,330 You know what? I actually like 672 00:25:37,371 --> 00:25:39,665 sucking Mom's tits better than yours! 673 00:25:39,707 --> 00:25:41,250 Guys, that's not great 674 00:25:41,292 --> 00:25:42,668 - for the dog. - Or anyone. 675 00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:46,005 Even if I stitched Michael Fassbender's foreskin 676 00:25:46,047 --> 00:25:47,924 onto Orlando Bloom's dick... 677 00:25:47,965 --> 00:25:50,051 And Frankensteined the perfect penis, 678 00:25:50,093 --> 00:25:51,969 I still couldn't get it up for you! 679 00:25:52,011 --> 00:25:53,346 Are you gonna finally stroke out 680 00:25:53,388 --> 00:25:56,057 and leave me with all your daddy's money, huh? 681 00:25:56,099 --> 00:25:59,811 Come on. Come on, McEnroe. Come on. 682 00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:03,022 Okay, stay here, and stay quiet. 683 00:26:03,064 --> 00:26:04,440 I'm gonna get you outta here tonight. 684 00:26:04,482 --> 00:26:05,525 Okay? Yeah. 685 00:26:05,566 --> 00:26:07,068 You think that hurt me? 686 00:26:07,110 --> 00:26:08,903 You think sending him away hurt me? 687 00:26:08,945 --> 00:26:10,238 - Okay! - You can't fucking hurt me. 688 00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:11,823 What do you want? You want the spa day 689 00:26:11,864 --> 00:26:13,157 at the Peninsula, honey, huh? 690 00:26:13,199 --> 00:26:14,367 Do you want the deep tissue? 691 00:26:14,409 --> 00:26:16,077 Do you want me to buy that for you? 692 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,787 You're gonna continue to buy my love! 693 00:26:17,829 --> 00:26:19,288 You're a fucking monster, 694 00:26:19,330 --> 00:26:21,290 and you've never loved anything 695 00:26:21,332 --> 00:26:24,043 in your entire life except that dog! 696 00:26:24,085 --> 00:26:26,421 That's it! How pathetic is that, everyone? 697 00:26:26,462 --> 00:26:28,923 - So now it's the dog's fault? - Oh, sure! 698 00:26:28,965 --> 00:26:30,216 Yeah, it's the dog's fault! 699 00:26:30,258 --> 00:26:32,051 Sure, it's the fucking dog's fault! 700 00:26:32,093 --> 00:26:33,386 You want me to shut the dog up? 701 00:26:33,428 --> 00:26:35,221 Yeah, go shut the fucking dog up! 702 00:26:35,263 --> 00:26:37,098 Okay. I'll shut the fucking dog up! 703 00:26:37,140 --> 00:26:38,140 Do you need Mommy's help? 704 00:26:38,141 --> 00:26:39,851 You think you can handle that? 705 00:26:39,852 --> 00:26:40,852 You got that, hon? 706 00:26:40,852 --> 00:26:42,437 Goddamn it! 707 00:26:42,478 --> 00:26:44,856 Hey, I know this is a terrible time. 708 00:26:44,897 --> 00:26:48,067 I'm so sorry, but, um, you're friends with Jessica Alba, right? 709 00:26:48,109 --> 00:26:49,861 - Yeah. - You are? 710 00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:52,071 Yeah, she's really sweet, actually. 711 00:26:52,113 --> 00:26:54,115 - Um... - Fuck off and die! 712 00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:56,242 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 713 00:26:56,284 --> 00:26:57,952 Oh, my God. Oh, no. 714 00:26:57,994 --> 00:26:59,412 No. 715 00:26:59,454 --> 00:27:01,289 - What's he doing? - Someone... 716 00:27:01,330 --> 00:27:03,124 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 717 00:27:03,166 --> 00:27:04,876 - Uh... - No, you should stay here. 718 00:27:06,335 --> 00:27:07,795 Wait... 719 00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:09,130 He's got a gun. 720 00:27:09,172 --> 00:27:10,298 - He's got a gun. - Oh, my God. 721 00:27:10,339 --> 00:27:11,883 Oh, my God. 722 00:27:11,924 --> 00:27:12,924 Watch out. Watch out! 723 00:27:12,925 --> 00:27:15,094 Oh, my God. 724 00:27:15,136 --> 00:27:16,763 What did you do? 725 00:27:18,848 --> 00:27:20,475 I shut the dog up. 726 00:27:22,310 --> 00:27:24,937 Oh, no. 727 00:27:27,815 --> 00:27:29,358 I shut it up. 728 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,651 Oh, my God. 729 00:27:30,693 --> 00:27:32,653 Simon, please put that down. 730 00:27:34,697 --> 00:27:39,452 - What the fuck did you... - I shut the fucking dog up is what I did. 731 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,337 Okay, easy, please. Please, please. 732 00:27:49,379 --> 00:27:53,341 No, no, no. 733 00:28:05,978 --> 00:28:10,024 I'm gonna come around you, okay? 734 00:28:10,066 --> 00:28:15,363 Hey. Just focus on me. 735 00:28:15,405 --> 00:28:17,573 All right? 736 00:28:17,615 --> 00:28:20,493 That's good. That's good. 737 00:28:20,535 --> 00:28:24,539 Man, you must be in shock. 738 00:28:27,750 --> 00:28:30,545 You're not a bad person. 739 00:28:30,586 --> 00:28:34,465 We all have anger in us. 740 00:28:34,507 --> 00:28:36,884 I know. It's okay. 741 00:28:36,926 --> 00:28:38,094 It's okay. It's all right. 742 00:28:38,136 --> 00:28:39,637 It's good. Yeah, yeah. That's good. 743 00:28:39,679 --> 00:28:40,679 You don't wanna do this. 744 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,932 Yeah. That's good. 745 00:28:42,974 --> 00:28:44,892 McEnroe! 746 00:28:47,228 --> 00:28:48,896 - Okay, Tory. - You all right? 747 00:28:48,938 --> 00:28:50,064 I got you. 748 00:28:50,106 --> 00:28:51,106 I got you. 749 00:28:51,107 --> 00:28:52,400 He just lost his mind? 750 00:28:52,442 --> 00:28:55,903 Oh, no! 751 00:28:55,945 --> 00:28:57,739 I'm so sorry. 752 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:23,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 753 00:30:12,647 --> 00:30:14,148 Nice shot, Dad. 53005

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