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1
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Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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If you are single, there is one thing you should take with you on a Saturday night:
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your friends.
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Why are we walking so fast?
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Are we in that big of a hurry?
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- Don't you guys want to go? - I did until I saw this invitation.
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Let me see that.
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"Two souls, one thought". That is sappy, totally not like Danny.
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Must have been her idea. "Two souls, one pushy fiancée".
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It's beautiful! A big romantic gesture to express how they feel.
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If two people have only one thought, something is very wrong. Cab.
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I remember Danny having more than one thought.
13
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- They all involved going up my ass. - You had sex with Danny?
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He's cute, straight, and we've known him for ten years. Haven't we all?
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- That weekend I was bored. - Just a New Year's Eve kiss.
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- I showed him a boob in a checkroom. - Just one?
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I sensed he couldn't commit. We're over here.
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Baby lamb chops! This is quite a spread.
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Two souls, one big budget.
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There he was, the fiancé du jour.
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- Look who's here! - Congratulations!
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- Thanks. My other half, Hailey. - Congratulations!
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- Hailey, this is Carrie and Charlotte. - Miranda.
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Right! Sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed.
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- Couldn't remember my name? - You should've shown him both boobs.
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Across the room from the two-soul couple...
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I wanted a Grey Goose on the rocks a fucking hour ago. Chop chop!
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a man with no soul.
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Phil, what is it that you do?
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I'm a TV agent and I fucking love it.
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What a beautiful wedding ring. Where's your husband?
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He's not here.
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We're taking some time apart.
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We're separated, not legally. Nothing legal! God, no!
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We're just taking some time to figure things out.
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We got married really fast. Love at first sight, didn't think it through.
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So now we're talking and trying to figure out what he...
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What we, he and l, really want.
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We love each other so much,
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but that doesn't mean a marriage is working, does it?
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We had some problems in the bedroom,
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but it was more about the fact that we got married so fast.
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So we're trying to figure things out, nothing physical.
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It's better if we just talk.
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So we are talking till we figure it out. So no, he's not here.
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OK. I have to...
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Don't talk to her.
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Charlotte realised that she and Trey were two souls with too many thoughts.
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The minute we met, I knew we were meant to be together.
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- I could stop looking. I had found him! - Congratulations!
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- What about you guys? - I'm not dating anyone.
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And you, Miranda? Seeing anyone special?
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No, but I am seeing a whole bunch of unspecial guys.
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It's a requirement to date me, "Special? Sorry, move along,
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"but if you have unspecial friends, give them my number."
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I'm serious! Do any of you have an unremarkable friend
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or maybe a houseplant I can go to dinner with?
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She's hilarious!
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What was going on in there?
60
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Your comedy routine should have a two-drink minimum.
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We were in a group of married or engaged women.
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- Just trying to avoid the pity party. - It was a cocktail party.
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- We were the only single people. - We're the only single people anywhere.
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You didn't see all those "Don't worry, you'll find someone" looks?
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No, didn't see them.
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Society views single people our age as sad and pathetic.
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I don't need that, so I go on the offensive and make them laugh.
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OK, Shecky.
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Sometimes I think couples look at us and wish they had our lives.
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No. We make them uncomfortable and they don't know what to say.
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- You're sure you're not overreacting? - Yeah.
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Coming!
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God!
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Yes!
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What are we doing?
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Charlotte. I thought it was the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
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I cannot go to any more parties until I know what we're going to do!
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- About what? - Us!
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I've been up for hours trying to figure out if we should stay together.
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I don't want to confuse you, so I made notes.
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- You made notes? - It helps me to be clear.
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sex life.
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The sex we had on the floor of your apartment was quite good.
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One time does not a marriage make.
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Come inside. We can rack up a new score.
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you only want me when you can't have me.
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Did you make a note that mentions how beautiful you look tonight?
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We have some big decisions to make.
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Trey!
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- You have a boner! - You're so beautiful.
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I can't discuss my notes if you have a boner!
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- Come inside. - I can't. We're separated!
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- I have more notes! - May I take off your panties?
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- Don't. - All righty.
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You didn't want to be married.
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Now I don't know if I want to be married!
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Trey, are you...?
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That night, neither Charlotte nor Trey came inside.
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I'm not quite sure what to say.
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I'm sorry, Charlotte. May I get you a hankie?
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It's too late for a hankie. This isn't working.
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Whatever this is we're doing, it isn't working.
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Please stop calling me. I'll call you when I figure out what I want.
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Charlotte, I love you.
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Send me the dry-cleaning bill?
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Trey may have had a lot of flaws, but bad manners wasn't one of them.
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It was a lovely, uneventful Saturday morning.
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Three lattes, two newspapers and...
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one dating-service application.
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"Dear single". You don't even have a name?
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- I'm single, I don't deserve one. - That's a postal drive-by shooting.
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I thought those 57 menus daily from Hunan Munan were annoying.
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"Don't let your soul mate slip away."
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It's almost a threat.
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"We have him, but hurry because he's slipping... There he goes."
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Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle.
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I disagree. I believe there's one perfect person out there to complete you.
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If you don't find him, you're incomplete? It's so dangerous!
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There's only one out there? Why don't I shoot myself right now?
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I like to think people have more than one soul mate.
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- I've had hundreds. - You miss one, along comes another.
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That is not how it works.
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But you're saying you're not enough.
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- Are you enough? - Today she's too much.
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The bad thing about the perfect soul mate is that it's so unattainable.
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You feel bad about yourself.
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That makes the gap between the Holy Grail and the assholes even bigger.
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I don't care. I believe in soul mates.
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I thought Trey was mine,
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but I don't think that a soul mate would... on your leg.
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There's got to be that someone out there for me.
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- Maybe I should keep looking. - Here you go.
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- Let's fill this out. - I'm not in the mood.
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- Not for you, for her. - No!
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Yes! Age, check box:
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20 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 34.
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No, not after next week.
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Birthday girl, 35.
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- 35 to 44. - Honey, welcome to my box.
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Soul mate. Two little words, one big concept.
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A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart
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and your dream house. All you have to do is find them.
143
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So where is this person?
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And if you love someone and it didn't work out,
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does that mean they weren't your soul mate?
146
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:50,475
Were they just a runner-up in the game show "Happily Ever After"?
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As you move from age box to age box
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and the contestants get fewer and fewer,
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are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less?
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Soul mates: reality or torture device?
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What about a birthday dinner? Il Cantinori, something nice.
152
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I'm not sure I want to do anything I'm kind of into laying low.
153
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- Laying low or feeling low? - No, I'm fine.
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You've got to do better than that!
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You've got to grab 35 by the balls and say, "Hey, world, I'm 35!"
156
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I'll put the dinner together. You just show up.
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Just close friends. Very fabulous light.
158
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All right. That sounds fun. Thank you.
159
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Should I invite Big?
160
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Are you trying to kill me on the way to lunch?
161
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Technically you are friends now, right?
162
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A phone call here and there. Do you think I should invite him?
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How should I know? When I'm done with them, I'm done with them.
164
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Maybe not. I think he's in London. Let's keep it to low-maintenance friends.
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- Welcome. Come in. - He is hot!
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- He is a priest. - He is a hot priest!
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Look at his robe. It's so Robin and his Merry Men.
168
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You tell them, Friar Fuck!
169
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OK, Sister. Let's go. I won't lose my table at Pastisse
170
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- so you can cruise a holy man. - What street are we on?
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That Sunday, Samantha went to church.
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- Good morning. - Good morning.
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I noticed all the good work you do in the neighbourhood
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- and stopped to see if I could help. - We could use a hand in the kitchen.
175
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I'm in public relations. I could put a benefit together,
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something classy, respectful.
177
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I can guarantee Donald Trump and Marlo Thomas.
178
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Thank you, but we're a little more low-key.
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We're more about collecting food to feed to the needy.
180
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So... I love your robe.
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This is what we wear.
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I'm in the Franciscan Order, founded by St Francis. The robe is...
183
00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:20,571
- Do you really want to hear about this? - Tell me more about this St Francis.
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He lived his life based on the vows of poverty and chastity.
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St Francis giving his coat to the poor.
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Samantha Jones, public relations.
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If you change your mind about the benefit...
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or anything.
189
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And just like that, Samantha went from Mr No Soul
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to Mr All Souls.
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After church, most people go out for pancakes.
192
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Samantha wasn't most people.
193
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Your face is glowing. Did you get a facial or something?
194
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- I masturbated all afternoon. - All right, then.
195
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- Seriously? All afternoon? - Two, two and a half hours.
196
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Who has the time? I like to get in and get out.
197
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I enjoy a quickie too, but when it's good, I go with it.
198
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I masturbated to my priest.
199
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- Your priest? - Friar Fuck!
200
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We might have to get Charlotte a crash helmet.
201
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You have a priest?
202
00:14:47,816 --> 00:14:52,972
She wants him but she can't have him. It's all very "Thorn Birds".
203
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He tears the food I'm carrying out of my arms,
204
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rips open my dress, lays me down in the street and enters me.
205
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What do you do for the next 140 minutes?
206
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Stop! You're talking about a priest!
207
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I can masturbate to whomever I like.
208
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It's imagination. It's fun and perfectly healthy.
209
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- Who do you all fantasise about? - Russell Crowe.
210
00:15:16,468 --> 00:15:19,461
- Jinx! You owe me a Coke. - That's amazing.
211
00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:22,542
What did women do before Russell Crowe?
212
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:24,941
George Clooney.
213
00:15:25,111 --> 00:15:28,741
Clooney's like a Chanel suit. He'll always be in style.
214
00:15:28,912 --> 00:15:33,351
I masturbated to a bus boy who was rude to me once. What does that mean?
215
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Fine, the cheese stands alone.
216
00:15:37,756 --> 00:15:40,955
Charlotte, get that judgmental puss off and join in.
217
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- Who do you fantasise about? - No, it's private.
218
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It can't be worse than a priest and a bus boy.
219
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We're not moving on till you tell us about one of your masturbation guys.
220
00:15:52,762 --> 00:15:56,757
It's not guys. Lately it's just one man.
221
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- LL Bean? - No.
222
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Trey.
223
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And we have really perfect sex.
224
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What do you think it means?
225
00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:29,287
This is 459-1905. I'm not in, so please leave a message.
226
00:16:29,457 --> 00:16:33,771
I think you're still in England, but l...
227
00:16:33,939 --> 00:16:38,218
It's midnight here in New York and it's my birthday.
228
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,611
I am officially old.
229
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:45,652
So I felt the need to call someone... older.
230
00:16:47,624 --> 00:16:52,302
Some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow. Actually, it's tonight.
231
00:16:52,466 --> 00:16:56,177
You're a friend, so if you are back in town,
232
00:16:56,348 --> 00:17:00,058
it's going to be at ll Cantinori at 8.30.
233
00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:04,144
And if you're still in London...
234
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then cheerio, old chap.
235
00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:18,266
The next day, on Wall Street...
236
00:17:19,917 --> 00:17:22,227
Sheila! Hi! How are you?
237
00:17:22,398 --> 00:17:26,678
I'm fantastic! Joe and l just got back from New Orleans.
238
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,071
Are you seeing anyone special?
239
00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:31,233
Miranda wasn't feeling very Shecky.
240
00:17:31,402 --> 00:17:32,357
No, I'm not.
241
00:17:32,522 --> 00:17:36,073
He's out there. You just haven't met him yet.
242
00:17:36,244 --> 00:17:39,840
Maybe, maybe not. I don't know if I believe all that.
243
00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:42,839
Maybe there isn't someone for everyone.
244
00:17:43,006 --> 00:17:48,082
There it was: the truth. No Hallmark hope, no two-drink minimum.
245
00:17:48,248 --> 00:17:51,606
How is Joe? You've been married for how many years now?
246
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:56,766
Five! I bet you're thinking, "Where are the kids?" I said to Joe,
247
00:17:56,932 --> 00:18:00,767
"We can have kids or gorgeous fabric without chocolate stains."
248
00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:04,405
Miranda realised it's not just about being single.
249
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Everyone has a sore spot that needs a comedy routine.
250
00:18:09,457 --> 00:18:13,736
And so Miranda laughed. Not because it was particularly funny,
251
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but because it was kind.
252
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They told me you were inside. Am I disturbing you?
253
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May I join you?
254
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:47,748
I was thinking about you yesterday. You and the work that you do.
255
00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:52,308
I was at the market.
256
00:18:58,077 --> 00:19:01,832
They're LeSueur peas. They're the best.
257
00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:05,629
That's very kind. Thank you.
258
00:19:09,121 --> 00:19:12,000
I have a confession to make.
259
00:19:12,162 --> 00:19:15,553
I think about you other places than the market.
260
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,561
Do you ever think about me?
261
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:26,038
I believe that God made the body and it's perfect in its splendour.
262
00:19:27,409 --> 00:19:31,039
But I am not of my body.
263
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My life is about other joys.
264
00:19:44,255 --> 00:19:47,613
Samantha wondered if the hot monk was her soul mate
265
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as he was certainly unattainable.
266
00:19:51,139 --> 00:19:54,256
I arrived at my party after a day of shopping.
267
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With no true soul mate,
268
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I spent the day with my shoe-sole mate, Manolo Blahnik.
269
00:20:00,222 --> 00:20:03,693
- Good evening, can I help you? - Bradshaw. Party of ten.
270
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You're the first to arrive. Follow me, please.
271
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It's 8:45. The reservation was for 8:30?
272
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That's right. Here you go.
273
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,380
- Enjoy. - Thank you.
274
00:20:23,631 --> 00:20:28,070
- Would you like a drink whilst you wait? - A Shirley Temple, please.
275
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:31,306
Once everyone's here, we'll be drinking lots of champagne.
276
00:20:31,475 --> 00:20:34,149
Good. Great. Excellent.
277
00:20:43,879 --> 00:20:46,917
20 minutes later, still no party.
278
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:55,276
Still alone. Did anyone call asking for Bradshaw?
279
00:20:55,444 --> 00:20:58,358
Not that I'm aware of. Let me check.
280
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,437
OK, thanks.
281
00:21:03,247 --> 00:21:06,240
- Can I bring you some champagne now? - No, not yet.
282
00:21:06,409 --> 00:21:08,206
Good. Great. Excellent.
283
00:21:26,337 --> 00:21:29,375
25! Fuck, I'm old!
284
00:21:41,743 --> 00:21:45,942
Sorry for holding the table. I can't imagine where everybody is.
285
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- There's only one ll Cantinori, right? - Yes.
286
00:21:50,466 --> 00:21:54,620
The woman with the birthday cake is here
287
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and she needs to be paid.
288
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I'll just get my purse.
289
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After I paid $70 for my own birthday cake,
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I was totally out of the party mood
291
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so I decided to go home and kill myself.
292
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What are you doing? Look where you're standing!
293
00:22:16,517 --> 00:22:19,396
Get the hell off there! No, the other way!
294
00:22:19,558 --> 00:22:21,868
The other way, for Christ's sake!
295
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For crying out loud! Shit!
296
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,962
- I'm sorry. - Marilyn Monroe, get off the road!
297
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:41,924
I'm sorry!
298
00:22:43,968 --> 00:22:47,086
Shit! I'm sorry!
299
00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:52,485
By the time I got home, I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep
300
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only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me.
301
00:22:56,252 --> 00:22:58,006
You have 14 messages.
302
00:22:59,054 --> 00:23:03,811
I'm trapped at work, I'll be ten minutes late. See you soon.
303
00:23:04,576 --> 00:23:07,774
Carrie, I'm in traffic. They're paving Fifth Avenue!
304
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Don't wait for me, happy birthday!
305
00:23:11,459 --> 00:23:16,819
I'm stuck in traffic, I can't spell ll Cantinori for the idiot at 411, get a cell phone.
306
00:23:17,781 --> 00:23:20,933
Carrie, it's Stanford. I'm at the wrong place.
307
00:23:21,103 --> 00:23:25,143
Did you know there's a Mexican restaurant called El Cantinoro?
308
00:23:31,186 --> 00:23:33,144
I'm here. They said you left.
309
00:23:33,308 --> 00:23:36,028
Where are you? We're still here.
310
00:23:37,029 --> 00:23:39,863
We're coming uptown to meet you at the coffee shop.
311
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- 20 minutes. - End of messages.
312
00:23:46,233 --> 00:23:49,306
It's just me! It's just me, Charlotte!
313
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I just aged 35 more years.
314
00:23:56,837 --> 00:24:00,798
- What are you doing here? - I'm taking you to the coffee shop.
315
00:24:00,959 --> 00:24:05,079
No, I'm going to bed. I am not in the mood to be with people.
316
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,517
You have to come. It's your birthday.
317
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I am aware of that!
318
00:24:14,364 --> 00:24:17,403
The longer I sat at the table, the more alone I felt.
319
00:24:17,566 --> 00:24:20,034
It really hit me: I am 35 and alone.
320
00:24:20,207 --> 00:24:24,724
- You are not alone. - No, I know I have you guys.
321
00:24:24,889 --> 00:24:27,528
I hate myself for saying this, but...
322
00:24:31,131 --> 00:24:33,646
it felt really sad
323
00:24:33,812 --> 00:24:36,725
not to have a man in my life who cares about me.
324
00:24:39,214 --> 00:24:41,968
No special guy to wish me happy birthday.
325
00:24:44,336 --> 00:24:47,010
No goddamn soul mate.
326
00:24:48,658 --> 00:24:52,254
I don't even know if I believe in soul mates.
327
00:24:57,942 --> 00:25:02,813
Don't laugh at me, but maybe we could be each other's soul mates.
328
00:25:05,065 --> 00:25:10,505
Then we could let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.
329
00:25:12,868 --> 00:25:15,428
That sounds like a plan.
330
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:20,340
- I'm 35. 35 is not 25. - Thank God!
331
00:25:20,511 --> 00:25:23,185
I'm 35!
332
00:25:24,072 --> 00:25:26,064
Shut the fuck up. I'm 140.
333
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Happy birthday, baby.
334
00:26:15,653 --> 00:26:17,246
Get in.
335
00:26:18,694 --> 00:26:22,291
- It's after 12. You're late. - Not really. I'm on London time.
336
00:26:22,456 --> 00:26:26,531
- London is five hours ahead. - In that case, I'm really late.
337
00:26:27,698 --> 00:26:31,773
I can't believe you actually got out of the car and got balloons.
338
00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:34,978
I didn't. Raoul did. Good man.
339
00:26:37,622 --> 00:26:39,261
So...
340
00:26:40,583 --> 00:26:42,939
- How old are you? - How old are you?
341
00:26:43,104 --> 00:26:45,619
You don't have to give me an exact number.
342
00:26:45,785 --> 00:26:48,016
Pick a box. 30 to 35?
343
00:26:48,186 --> 00:26:51,179
35 to 40? 40 to 45?
344
00:26:52,988 --> 00:26:56,266
Really? 40 to 45.
345
00:26:56,430 --> 00:26:59,547
I don't know what you mean. I had something in my eye.
346
00:27:04,553 --> 00:27:08,547
How do you feel about soul mates?
347
00:27:09,715 --> 00:27:13,266
Well, I like the word "soul".
348
00:27:14,517 --> 00:27:18,113
I like the word "mate". Other than that, you got me.
349
00:27:27,682 --> 00:27:31,472
- Did you have a nice day? - I had a fabulous day.
350
00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:34,755
Good for you.
351
00:27:40,167 --> 00:27:42,044
As Big's car drove away,
352
00:27:42,207 --> 00:27:45,600
I realised having three soul mates already nailed down
353
00:27:45,769 --> 00:27:50,846
made it a lot easier to spot those great, nice guys to have fun with.
354
00:27:51,394 --> 00:28:00,984
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