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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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Now?
3
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,267
Not yet.
4
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,897
Doug, it's gonna burn.
5
00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:24,190
Will you trust me?
6
00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:31,531
This is our last bag, you know?
I want popcorn with this movie.
7
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:35,076
Calm down. This is what I do.
8
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,454
No, it's just gotta be ready.
It's gotta be ready.
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00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:41,624
- Easy, easy, easy.
- Okay. Okay.
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00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:45,670
Okay, go, go, go.
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00:00:47,755 --> 00:00:49,423
Enjoy.
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00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,820
Hey, what happened
to the Nebraska game?
13
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:12,238
It's over.
14
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,533
- What's this?
- Some kind of show
15
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:19,078
on how to eat right
and stay healthy as you age.
16
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,080
So change it.
17
00:01:21,789 --> 00:01:23,374
- Hey, Doug?
- Yeah.
18
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,626
There's half a bag of M&M's
under the seat.
19
00:01:25,793 --> 00:01:27,128
How old are they?
20
00:01:28,462 --> 00:01:30,423
I just got them the other day.
They're fine.
21
00:01:31,048 --> 00:01:33,384
Wait a minute.
Are they plain or peanut?
22
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:36,429
Let me look. Peanut.
23
00:01:38,347 --> 00:01:40,808
Hey, they taste weird.
24
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,186
- Hey. Hey, Rich.
- Hey.
25
00:01:43,352 --> 00:01:45,605
- Hey, Spence.
- Hey, Deacon.
26
00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,648
Can't stay.
I'm returning your casserole dish.
27
00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:49,358
Oh, you were right, by the way.
28
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,153
That cold lasagne
made a good breakfast.
29
00:01:52,361 --> 00:01:53,404
What's this from?
30
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:56,282
Me and Kelly
had dinner here last night.
31
00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:57,575
Oh, yeah?
32
00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,119
You know what, Deac?
Thanks for bringing it by.
33
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,622
- You take it easy, now, all right?
- All right. Later on.
34
00:02:02,788 --> 00:02:05,333
By the way, we can't do a movie
on Thursday night after all.
35
00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:08,085
- We gotta go see Kelly's mom.
- No problem. You know what?
36
00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:10,671
I'll see you on Monday. Monday.
Not a fun day. Okay?
37
00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:13,299
- Quit pushing me, man.
- Yeah, whatever.
38
00:02:15,384 --> 00:02:17,970
You had Deac and his wife over
for dinner last night?
39
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,222
No, no, I mean, no.
40
00:02:19,388 --> 00:02:23,684
I mean, they were here,
and there was food, and we all ate it.
41
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:28,272
If that's having them over
for dinner, then whatever.
42
00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:30,525
Come on, what's the deal?
43
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,902
I've asked you like 67 times
44
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,279
if you and Carrie wanna do something
with me and Marie,
45
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,365
and you're always too busy.
46
00:02:37,573 --> 00:02:39,450
- Really? Are we?
- Yeah.
47
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,335
So? You wanna do something?
48
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,212
Absolutely. Yes. You know?
49
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,589
Hey, you know,
let's check with the wives, and we'll...
50
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:58,010
At some point, we'll look towards
trying to pencil in a date on the books.
51
00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,012
What about Thursday?
52
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,389
Can't say.
53
00:03:01,597 --> 00:03:03,891
I don't have my book with me.
54
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,478
You're free. You had Deac
for Thursday, he just cancelled.
55
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,606
Just open your little book,
cross out Deacon, write "Richie."
56
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:13,150
You can even keep the "E."
57
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,903
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Thursday's good. All right.
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00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,780
All right.
59
00:03:20,324 --> 00:03:22,410
Hey!
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00:03:28,332 --> 00:03:30,209
- Hi.
- Carrie, I need to talk to you about--
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00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,752
Not now, honey, gotta pee.
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00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:38,593
Smell me.
63
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,645
I'm sorry, I heard, "Smell me."
64
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:53,566
That's right. Come on, now.
I don't have all day. Smell me.
65
00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:01,532
So do I smell like a meadow
after a fresh morning rain?
66
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,036
I'm not getting that.
67
00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:07,288
Those bastards!
68
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:15,796
Big Gulps and traffic jams
do not mix.
69
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:18,966
- So, what's up?
- I just wanna let you know that,
70
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,260
well, Deacon and Kelly,
they can't make it Thursday.
71
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,845
Oh, really? That's too bad.
72
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,640
Yeah, but not to worry,
because I saved the night.
73
00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:29,435
Got another couple to fill in,
so I'll see you Thursday, all right?
74
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,314
Who's coming over?
75
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,734
- Richie and Marie.
- No.
76
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,278
- Carrie, it's only a couple of hours.
- So is childbirth,
77
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:42,490
but I don't wanna do that
on Thursday either.
78
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,868
What can I do?
Richie asks me, like, every week.
79
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,746
I can't keep putting the guy off.
His feelings are getting hurt.
80
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,998
Honey, Richie's fine.
I've got no problem with him.
81
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,960
It's that Marie I'd like to smack.
82
00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:55,670
She's not that bad.
83
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,256
Doug, she's stupid, loud,
84
00:04:58,422 --> 00:05:01,884
and doesn't give a crap
about anybody but herself.
85
00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:04,387
She gives a crap.
86
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:09,517
Please. The only reason why you guys
don't see how obnoxious she is,
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00:05:09,725 --> 00:05:12,270
is because you all think
she's so hot.
88
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,355
She's hot?
89
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:18,943
You see, I never thought of-
I don't know, hot.
90
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,028
I'll watch for that.
91
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,906
Shut up.
92
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,367
Come on, Carrie. One dinner.
93
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:30,538
Look, if you do it,
I'll let you have sex with me.
94
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,833
You can dress me up
like a big baby.
95
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,919
Okay, but I'm not changing you.
96
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,467
So Thursday?
97
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:47,513
Dinner at 7.
They get two hours, and I'm timing it.
98
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,764
- Thank you.
- Yeah, yeah.
99
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,850
Just put away the groceries, Butch.
100
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,564
- We're in luck, Douglas.
- Are we?
101
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,441
They sell this lousy deodorant,
102
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:00,818
and they think no one reads
the fine print, but I do.
103
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:04,530
- And you know why?
- Because you got nothing else to do?
104
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:08,534
No. Because I'm nobody's sap.
Here, read this.
105
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,038
No cap, huh?
106
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,624
Okay, thanks.
107
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,544
"If not completely satisfied,
return the unused portion,
108
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:23,090
and we'll send you a full refund
and a free stick of your old deodorant."
109
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,634
You're in the delivery business.
110
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,595
Get that out for me tomorrow,
first thing.
111
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:33,601
And tell them my old brand
is MacGregor's, extra strength.
112
00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:36,771
- MacGregor's?
- They'll know.
113
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:54,121
And, you know, I always thought those
psychic phone lines were for idiots,
114
00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:56,624
but the woman told me
I was attractive, intelligent,
115
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,376
and had wonderful people skills.
116
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,587
And this is somebody
who never met me.
117
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,262
That is spooky.
118
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:15,852
Hey, Carrie, that chicken
a la whatever was terrific.
119
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,228
Thank you, Richie.
120
00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:19,063
Oh, yeah, looked delicious.
121
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:23,609
I've just made a moral decision
not to eat anything with a face. Sorry.
122
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,821
That's okay.
123
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,285
I'll eat anything
that doesn't have a driver's license.
124
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,629
Hey, Marie, you know
Carrie just started working
125
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,257
for this bigtime law firm
in Manhattan.
126
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,466
How's that going, Carrie?
127
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,928
Personally, I would never consider
getting a job.
128
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,307
I think it's more important for me
to be there for this one.
129
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:58,060
To take care of him,
make him a good home.
130
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,605
But that's just me.
I'm not judging you.
131
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,402
Great, now I can sleep.
132
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,658
Kids, let me supersize
those drinks for you.
133
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:13,729
What do you say?
134
00:08:13,755 --> 00:08:16,354
No, I can get it. I'll get it.
I got it.
135
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,959
What the hell is taking her so long?
136
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,463
Carrie, come on.
137
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,048
Come on, what?
138
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,925
Could you please try
to be nice to Marie?
139
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:30,426
I am trying.
140
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:34,388
If I weren't trying, she would have
a fork sticking out of her neck.
141
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,562
I'm sorry, hon.
I really just cannot stand that girl.
142
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,398
Look, I know she's obnoxious,
but, you know, she's not all bad.
143
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,817
I mean, she's obviously
very devoted to Richie.
144
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,487
- Yeah, right.
- She is.
145
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,280
She's not. Trust me.
146
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:54,242
- What do you mean?
- Nothing. Forget it.
147
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,285
- Tell me.
- Forget it, you don't wanna know.
148
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,537
- I do.
- No, you don't.
149
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,540
- If you have something to say, say it.
- She cheats on Richie.
150
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:05,628
What, like in poker?
151
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:10,967
No, like in sex.
152
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,303
So this is going great, huh?
153
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,973
It's going fine, Richie.
154
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:22,728
Moose, I don't know why
we waited so long to do this.
155
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:28,484
Hey. Next weekend.
Atlantic City. The four of us.
156
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,211
- Okay, well, this was great.
- Yeah.
157
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,505
- It was a lot of fun.
- We have to do it again.
158
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,549
- We'll call you.
- Real soon. Yeah.
159
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,718
- Bye-bye.
- All right, take care now.
160
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,679
- She really cheats on him? Hey!
- Atlantic City, right?
161
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,264
- Yeah, no stopping me.
- All right.
162
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,850
All right, man, okay.
Are you kidding me? She--
163
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:03,186
- Gotta stop doing that.
- Forgot my keys.
164
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,812
Oh, okay. Forgot the keys.
165
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,773
- Alrighty. Bye.
- All right.
166
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,904
So how do you know?
167
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:16,782
Honey, a friend of mine works
with one of the guys she sleeps with.
168
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,161
One of them? Oh, God.
169
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,495
Things are getting worse.
170
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,707
I'm sorry, but it's absolutely true.
171
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,460
I can't believe this.
I mean, from watching her tonight,
172
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,795
you'd never know
she was fooling around.
173
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,924
Hon, she's not gonna do it
in our living room.
174
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,093
She's crafty.
175
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,347
Why'd you just spring this
on me tonight?
176
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,973
Why didn't you tell me
when you first found out?
177
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,226
Because I didn't think
you wanted to know.
178
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,520
I don't wanna know.
Why'd you have to tell me?
179
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:49,106
Wait a minute. Are you mad at me
for telling you or not telling you?
180
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,858
Yes. Both.
181
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,777
Well, then, I apologise.
182
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:55,154
I was wrong to tell you,
wrong not to tell you,
183
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,156
and I'm probably wrong
for saying I'm wrong.
184
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,701
You know what? It's too late
for apologies. I already know it.
185
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,120
I can't unknow it.
186
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,958
I need some kind of cake.
187
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,674
Douglas, I'm starting to get worried
about this deodorant business.
188
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,096
I haven't gotten my new stick
of MacGregor in the mail.
189
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,848
You sent my old one back, right?
190
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:28,563
Well, then, they're obviously trying
some monkey business.
191
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,440
- Better give me the tracking number.
- What?
192
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,443
You know, for the package
so I can follow up.
193
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,612
Oh, it's...
194
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:41,117
...two, four, six, eight...
195
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,327
...ten.
196
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,249
Got it. Thank you.
197
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,711
And, Douglas,
don't lose any sleep about this.
198
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,546
I'm on the case.
199
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:55,756
What's going on, Dad?
200
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,134
It's a whole crazy thing
Doug and I are wrapped up in.
201
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,927
He'll get you up to speed.
202
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,849
Carrie, this whole Richie thing
is killing me.
203
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,018
Oh, I know, honey.
204
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:11,022
It's rough on you guys to actually know
real things about each other.
205
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,398
It is.
206
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,234
You know, what do you think
I should do? Should I tell him?
207
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,320
Well, he is your friend.
208
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,072
And his wife is making a jerk
out of him.
209
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,241
I know, I should tell him.
It's just so personal.
210
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,077
You know, up until now,
our relationship has been so simple.
211
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,122
You know, we watch the games,
we drink beers, we eat chips,
212
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,250
we never share
a deep feeling or thought.
213
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,753
I don't wanna lose that.
214
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,714
I know, sweetie.
215
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,679
- She's really fooling around on him?
- Can you believe it?
216
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:47,016
Hell, I believe it.
I mean, come on, let's face it.
217
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:51,979
Marie is the type that needs
a lot of "attention" and "validation".
218
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,065
And "sex".
219
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,775
Maybe that's my niche with women.
220
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,443
Being the other man.
221
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,779
The mysterious stranger who slips in
222
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,490
for a few stolen moments
of illicit pleasure,
223
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:05,660
and then vanishes into the night.
224
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,539
No, I see you more as the guy
in the hedges with binoculars.
225
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,958
Hey, words hurt.
226
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,377
Whatever we do,
Richie's gonna be here any minute.
227
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,754
So we gotta figure out
how we're gonna tell him.
228
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,840
Ixnay. Here he comes.
229
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,511
Hey, ladies. What's happening?
230
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,766
What, you don't say hello?
231
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,311
- Hey, Richie. How's it going, buddy?
- Richie. Richie. Richie.
232
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,981
- What's with you guys?
- We're just fooling around.
233
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,525
Fooling around.
234
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:42,071
So, Moose,
what's your answer on Atlantic City?
235
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,532
Was Carrie able to get out
of jury duty?
236
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,035
Don't know.
That judge won't call us back.
237
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,287
We gotta make this happen.
238
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,747
You know, Marie, she's friendly
with all the pit bosses.
239
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,125
She gets comped everywhere.
240
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,005
Anyway, you know
what I was thinking?
241
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,883
The four of us, we hang out so much,
but we never really talk.
242
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,177
You know? About real stuff.
243
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,637
You wanna talk about real stuff?
244
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,515
- Sure, I'll give it a shot.
- Okay.
245
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,100
Let's do it.
246
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,645
Here's something. You ever think
about relatives who've died,
247
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,815
and wonder what they look like
right now?
248
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,943
Okay, not that real, all right?
249
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,821
You know, I was thinking,
more, like, I don't know.
250
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,158
Well, let's see.
Like marriage, you know?
251
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,243
- Good one.
- Yeah. Right?
252
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,412
Lot of good stuff in marriage, huh?
253
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,707
Lot of bad stuff too, though. Yeah.
254
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,084
Hey, how about that bad stuff, huh?
255
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,923
Pantyhose on the shower rod?
256
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,550
I hate that. Hate it.
257
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:48,054
Hey, how about when she uses
your razor on her legs, you know?
258
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,473
My mom does that.
259
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:58,689
What about this toilet-seat business?
Up, down, what do they want, right?
260
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,858
It's crazy. It's crazy, you know?
261
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,571
Hey, how about when they have sex
with, like, another guy, huh?
262
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,282
That's rough.
263
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,870
What are you saying, Moose?
264
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,125
Are you saying
that Carrie's cheated on you?
265
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,671
Yes, I am.
266
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,382
Oh, man, I'm so sorry.
267
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,634
I never would've thought
that Carrie would do that.
268
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:31,430
Yeah, you know, I was upset too,
until I found out how common it is.
269
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,766
It's so common.
270
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,561
- You think?
- Yeah, I mean,
271
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,938
Deac's wife, she cheated on him.
272
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,942
Really?
273
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,695
Well, I gotta tell you,
your wife does send out that vibe.
274
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,948
All right, hey, hey, hey,
easy, easy, easy.
275
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,494
The point is, we can't let it
make us crazy, you know?
276
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,454
You gotta just, you know,
brush it all off.
277
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,499
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off,
get back on your horse.
278
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,211
Jeez, I gotta say, you guys handle this
a lot better than I would.
279
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,505
If it were me,
280
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,091
I'd probably drive my car into a tree,
281
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:10,011
because I'd feel like
my life was over.
282
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:22,023
That's two, four, six, eight...
283
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:23,941
...ten.
284
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,695
Well, check it again.
285
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,947
I'm dealing with morons here.
286
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,409
Look, if my son-in-law says
he sent it to you people,
287
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,077
then he sent it.
288
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,873
Yeah, I'll hold.
289
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,666
Arthur, forget this.
290
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,002
Here, let me give you 5 bucks
for some new deodorant.
291
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,712
And let them win? Never.
292
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,883
- Hey.
- Hey, honey.
293
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:52,220
- How'd it go? Did you talk to Richie?
- Yep.
294
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,722
Listen, if it ever comes up,
295
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:58,976
you had an affair with Milt Housner
from the recycling centre.
296
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,812
What?
297
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,607
I was trying to ease into telling
Richie, saying that, you know,
298
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:09,153
a lot of wives cheat on their husbands,
including you.
299
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,323
But Milt Housner?
300
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:15,868
The guy with the weird lump
on his forehead?
301
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:19,121
Why couldn't you say
it was Kenny from Waldbaum's?
302
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,625
The box boy? The one
who delivers here every week?
303
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,337
All right, first of all,
he's never delivering here again.
304
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,048
Second of all, I already told Richie
it was Milt Housner.
305
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,550
I can't switch names now.
306
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,884
Well, could you add Kenny?
307
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,011
All right, stop.
308
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,640
So, what happened?
309
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,517
Did you finally tell Richie?
310
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,768
I couldn't. I couldn't.
311
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:44,814
He was just sitting there,
looking at me with those sad eyes.
312
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,400
I can't do that kind of thing, Carrie.
313
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,944
- It's not in me.
- I know.
314
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,154
You're just a big softy.
315
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,156
But at least you tried.
316
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,076
Thanks for understanding.
317
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,580
By the way, start packing.
We're going to Atlantic City with them.
318
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,039
No.
319
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,626
The only way out was to tell him about
Marie. I couldn't, so we have to go.
320
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,963
I don't have to go.
I have fake jury duty.
321
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,925
Come on. It's only for the weekend.
322
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,678
I know who's gonna be
at the Taj Mahal.
323
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,222
A certain Mr. Don Rickles, huh?
324
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:21,726
"Hey, Irish guy,
where's your whiskey?"
325
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,896
I grant you, the man is a genius.
326
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,148
But I'm still not going.
327
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,984
Honey, whether you tell him or not,
that's up to you.
328
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,571
But if we go away with them,
like two happy, peppy couples,
329
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,531
then we're only helping her
deceive Richie.
330
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,575
And that's just not right.
331
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,077
I know.
332
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,873
You know what? I'm gonna stop
being a wimp about this.
333
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,541
I'm gonna take him
to lunch tomorrow,
334
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,044
get a few beers in him,
and I'll tell him the truth.
335
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,255
- There you go.
- Yeah. Feels good.
336
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,431
Moose, you've been staring at me
for 45 minutes. What is it?
337
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:07,605
I am not going to Atlantic City.
338
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,494
Moose.
339
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,496
What the hell is this?
340
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:30,962
Doug, if you say the words "Atlantic"
or "City" again, I will hurt you.
341
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,215
Carrie, I've tried to tell him.
I just can't find the right moment.
342
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,175
Well, keep trying.
343
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,304
Baby, we need an eight.
Give me an eight.
344
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,014
- Big eight.
- Okay. Here we go.
345
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,808
By the way,
your wife's cheating on you.
346
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,977
- Yeah, all right!
- Yeah!
347
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,062
What?
348
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,401
So you all moved in
to your brother's place?
349
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,529
Yeah, yeah, two days ago.
350
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,824
Listen, Moose.
Thanks again for telling me.
351
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,410
I'm sorry I threw up on you.
352
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,456
Well, it was bad news.
353
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,585
That 75-cent shrimp cocktail
didn't help either.
354
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,756
So you and Marie,
have you started that counselling yet?
355
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,676
Yeah. The guy's great too.
356
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,178
We went together the first time,
357
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:23,389
but Marie feels that since the problems
are mostly her fault,
358
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,142
she wants to see the guy alone
for a while.
359
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,187
Alrighty.
360
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,697
That's right, I'm coming
to your corporate headquarters.
361
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,449
My plane gets in at 2,
362
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:45,369
and we'll settle this deodorant
thing face to face like men.
363
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:47,580
What's your last
name again, Phil?
364
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:52,752
All right, I'll see you
in five hours, Mr. Latio.
365
00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:00,134
Be back in a day or two.
366
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,261
Arthur...
367
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,847
Yeah?
368
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:07,058
Go get them.
28302
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