Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,402
(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
2
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:31,029
Oh...
3
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,864
Yeah.
4
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,434
I got three letters
for you tonight.
5
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:36,802
(ROBIN SPEAKING)
6
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,503
-(BEAST BOY SPEAKING)
-(STARFIRE SPEAKING)
7
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:39,971
(RAVEN SPEAKING)
8
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,174
CYBORG: No, no, no and no!
9
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,543
They are "V" "H" and "S."
10
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:48,246
That's right.
I got VHSes for days.
11
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,614
For days.
12
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,316
Can we watch The Golden Girls?
13
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,418
I love
those sassy, old broads!
14
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:57,956
And I would like to watch
The Crosby Pudding HalfHour Show of Sweaters.
15
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:01,660
Theo, get your glorp-nops
off the kitchen table.
16
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,794
Rudy!
17
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,297
Let's watch Alf again.
I love Alf.
18
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:09,101
Yes, eat that cat,
Alf, eat him.
19
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,969
He's hiding
in the kitchen drawer, Alf.
20
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,805
But be patient.
Savor the hunt, you beast!
21
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,807
I want to watch me
some Manimal.
22
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,042
A guy
that can turn into animals,
23
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,044
-that's so cheeseball.
-(BLEATING)
24
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,445
Those are all great shows.
25
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,915
But tonight we are watching
The A-Team.
26
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,386
"A" is the highest of letters,
it must be the best.
27
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:31,823
It's about four cool dudes
who ride around in a van
with a stripe.
28
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,626
I love stripes! Was it red?
29
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,128
You know it was red!
30
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,363
And they would protect
the innocent from bad guys.
31
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,065
Oh. Kind of like us.
32
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,200
Except they weren't lame!
33
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:45,203
They made cool weapons
out of junk, like oil drums
and pieces of discarded metal
34
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,471
and oil drums!
35
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,807
That sounds so awesome!
36
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:49,941
It was!
37
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:53,545
Now, let's get
this party started!
38
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,846
Where's the remote?
39
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,715
I have not seen
the remote controller.
40
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,216
-I don't know.
-Beats me.
41
00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,551
Psh, I don't know.
42
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,820
It's probably
just in the couch cushion.
43
00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:04,756
Ew.
44
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,993
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
45
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,528
Have you seen the remote,
Sticky Joe?
46
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,897
-Howdy!
-Then you're useless to us!
47
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,399
Beat it, Sticky Joe. Beat it!
48
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,435
(HYPERVENTILATING)
49
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:20,071
It's not here. The remote.
It's not here!
50
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,508
(WAILING)
51
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:27,479
Hey, it's okay, Cyborg.
We can just use the buttons
on the TV.
52
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,714
The buttons? The buttons!
You're right!
53
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:32,451
The TV's got all sorts
of buttons for things.
54
00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:35,987
(BUTTONS BEEPING)
55
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,123
(STAMMERING) Menu...
56
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,026
(GIBBERISH)
57
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:41,927
Would you relax?
58
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,495
The remote
will turn up eventually.
59
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,530
We'll watch The A-Team
some other time.
60
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,232
This is not about The A-Team.
61
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,301
Or Charles in Charge,
or Webster, or Small Wonder,
62
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,369
or Silver Spoons,
or Out of This World,
or Magnum, P.I.,
63
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,505
or MacGyver,
or Perfect Strangers,
or Facts of Life,
64
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,240
or Happy Days,
or Who's the Boss?
or Head of the Class,
65
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,075
or Too Close for Comfort,
or Knight Rider,
66
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,243
or Dukes of Hazzard,
or Greatest American Hero.
67
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,644
Cyborg, gimme a break.
68
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:03,815
Without TV I don't know
what to do with myself.
69
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,084
It's just TV, Cyborg.
70
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,786
"Just TV"?
71
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,957
The best moments of my life
have been sitting in front
of that guy.
72
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,260
He teaches me life lessons,made me laugh,
73
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:18,296
and filled lots of empty time.
74
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:22,100
Wow. You... (CLEARS THROAT)
You sound like a crazy person.
75
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:25,103
I think we should
use this opportunity
to take a break from TV.
76
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,372
What?
Why would we want to do that?
77
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:31,943
Because concerned parents
have theorized for decades
that TV rots the brain!
78
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,012
Well, that's obviously
ridiculous.
79
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,281
TV keeps your brain
active, healthy and strong.
80
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,651
I don't know, dude.
If a parent said it,
it has to be true.
81
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:44,222
Then, instead of watching TV
we're gonna spend our time
hanging out with each other!
82
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,857
-Yes!
-Yes!
83
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:49,928
(CLOCK TICKING)
84
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:54,733
Without TV you really notice
how long every second is.
85
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,338
Are you serious?
86
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,107
How many more
of those are there
before we go to sleep?
87
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,442
Approximately 32,000.
88
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:07,145
Oh, I am not doing this
32,000 more times!
89
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,714
All right, we need an activity
to occupy our time.
90
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,250
Let's engage in
some meaningful conversation.
91
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,452
How do you
meaningfully conversate, bro?
92
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,289
We just express our thoughts
and feelings with words.
93
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,356
-Oh.
-Thoughts...
94
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,491
-Yeah.
-Hmm.
95
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,359
-All right.
-Great. Uh, I'll start.
96
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:22,827
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
97
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,998
Good afternoon.
These are a nice day...
For things.
98
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:32,370
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
Hi, I'm a person.
99
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,607
I know when I do things.
100
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:40,812
-One time... I saw.
-Uh...
101
00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:45,083
You guys, uh,
remember... Things?
102
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:49,220
-So fun when we... Right?
-Yeah.
103
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,157
(ALL LAUGHING FORCEFULLY)
104
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,660
(SCREAMING)
105
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,563
We have to find the remote
and watch TV. Now!
106
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,298
Don't panic, Titans.
107
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,267
We just have to do
whatever people did
for fun before TV.
108
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,936
-Like a parade?
-Oh, I've heard of those.
109
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:08,239
-This is a parade?
-It's just people walking!
110
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,943
And why are the automobiles
traveling so slowly?
111
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,679
Is it deliberate?
To make it the boring?
112
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,048
Don't tell me
that's another marching band!
113
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,619
It's just marching band,
after marching band,
after marching band!
114
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,822
Whoa! Look at him
spin that baton!
115
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,290
Okay, I'm over it.
116
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,125
(ALL BOOING)
117
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,295
CYBORG: I can't, I can't.
118
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,230
I can't take anymore parades
or terrible conversations!
119
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,399
Let's just find the remote
and watch Murder, She Wrote.
120
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,968
That's just going
to rot your brain, Cyborg.
121
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,571
Instead, let's use
these new seconds we have
122
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:43,174
to pursue
fulfilling activities
that enrich our lives.
123
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,811
Beast Boy, haven't you always
wanted to learn to play
keyboard?
124
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,046
Just don't have
the time, brah.
125
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,681
-Now you do!
-(BEAST BOY SHRIEKS)
126
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,584
And Raven, haven't you always
wanted to be a bodybuilder?
127
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,386
-No.
-Now you can!
128
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,856
Star, you've always wanted
to do volunteer work
for the poor,
129
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,858
but didn't want to miss
your favorite shows.
130
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,293
There are so many
of the poor people,
131
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,996
but even more
of the shows to watch.
132
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,265
Now we can all
follow our passions.
133
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,602
Because without TV,
we have nothing better to do!
134
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,803
Titans, go!
135
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,204
(MUSIC PLAYING)
136
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,752
(PLAYING NOTE)
137
00:06:30,489 --> 00:06:31,923
Who wants tapas?
138
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:40,298
Mmm. My friends
at the kitchen of soup
would love this recipe!
139
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,568
-(DEEP VOICE) Great source
of protein.
-You said it, mama.
140
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,572
Look at us, Titans.
We did it! We filled time!
141
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,008
So many seconds went by, yo!
142
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:55,313
So why do we feel
so empty inside?
143
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,082
Maybe it's because
learning to play the keyboard
144
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,184
didn't teach you
about friendship.
145
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,020
And volunteering
didn't make you
a better person.
146
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,556
And there's nothing funny
about bodybuilding.
147
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,024
You can say that again.
148
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,226
Only TV can give us
those things!
149
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,962
Life without TV
is meaningless.
150
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,665
The Teen Titans
are supposed to be heroes,
151
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,134
but the real hero
is television.
152
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,702
Can I get a "Turn it on"?
153
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,604
ALL: Turn it on!
154
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,173
(SNIFFING)
Hey, what's that smell?
155
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,576
(SNIFFING)
Oh, that's not right.
156
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,311
-Ew.
-Yeah.
157
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,146
I do not understand.
158
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,115
No, no, no!
159
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:34,986
(SNIFFING) Uh, this is bad!
160
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,856
(EXCLAIMING) Your brains,
they are rotting.
161
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,091
But we haven't
been watching TV.
162
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,659
Exactly!
163
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,795
Just as I suspected!
164
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:47,966
TV keeps your brain fromrotting by feeding itinformation and good times.
165
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,636
(SNIFFING) Huh, but your brain
doesn't stink, Cyborg.
166
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,172
It's because I have watched
so much quality programming,
167
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,074
my brain is stronger
than yours.
168
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,009
Then the rest of us
need to get in front of a TV
169
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,911
before our brains
rot away completely.
170
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:03,882
But the device that
controls remotely
is still missing.
171
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,150
Then we improvise!
172
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,451
Just like The A-Team.
173
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,994
I love it
when a plan comes together.
174
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,997
What plan?
That's not a TV.
175
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,900
Just look.
It's a show about plants.
176
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,968
This is just as good
as anything on TV!
177
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:27,238
Ooh, ooh!
Can we change the channel?
I wanna watch something else!
178
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,873
No problem.
179
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,376
How about The Cockroach Show?
180
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,211
I wanna watch the show
about wall.
181
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,712
Which one
are you talking about, Rave?
182
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,514
You know, the one about wall.
183
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,150
Oh, right. The Wall Show.
184
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:43,755
Huh. Is that stain new,
or from the last episode?
185
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,390
I think it's new.
186
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,126
Oh, look!
It's a crossover episode
from The Cockroach Show.
187
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,628
(SNIFFS) The smell
is getting worse!
188
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,163
It's not working, Cyborg.
189
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,600
How about now?
190
00:08:59,004 --> 00:09:00,872
How about now?
191
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,108
-(GROANING)
-(SCREAMING)
192
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,145
Your brains!
They've completely rotted.
193
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:11,249
(GROANING)
It's so nice out.
194
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,083
(SCREAMING)
195
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,718
Let's go for a hike.
196
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,789
(GROWLING) Join us for a game
of miniature golf, brah.
197
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,392
(GROANING)
I'm taking a French class.
198
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,261
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
199
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,597
Your rotted brains
are making you crazy!
200
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:28,366
No! No!
I don't want to do activities!
201
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,500
You can't make me!
202
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,069
Hi-yah!
203
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,005
TV? What are you doing here?
204
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,908
I've raised
countless children, Cyborg,
205
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,744
but you have always
been my favorite.
206
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:44,082
You might be surprised to know
that all those years you spent
staring at me,
207
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,517
I was staring
right back at you.
208
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:51,122
And it's been a joy
to help shape you
into the man you are today.
209
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:54,225
-I love you, Cyborg.
-I love you, too, TV.
210
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,461
Now, the only way
to save your friends
211
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:59,864
is to reverse their brain rot
with quality programming.
212
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,000
Then turn yourself on, dude.
213
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,002
I don't know
how these buttons work.
214
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,937
No one does.
Where's the remote?
215
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,972
We lost it.
It could be anywhere.
216
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,541
Then we're going
to have to find it!
217
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,043
Let's go!
218
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,979
(INAUDIBLE)
219
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:29,594
(GLASS SHATTERING)
220
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,728
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
221
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,063
(MOANING AND GROANING)
222
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,431
-So nice out.
-I'm taking French class.
223
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,033
-ROBIN: A hike.
-(CYBORG YELLS)
224
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,534
(CYBORG GRUNTS)
225
00:10:40,005 --> 00:10:42,240
(MUMBLES) ''Huh, What?''
226
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,609
Thanks for fixing
our brains, TV.
227
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,678
No problem.
228
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,447
So, I was thinking,
it's such a beautiful day
why don't we all go on a hike?
229
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,684
Or perhaps, take in
some culture at a museum.
230
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,285
I'm just messing with ya.
231
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,121
Let's watch
18 hours of A-Team.
232
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:58,723
(ALL CHEERING)
17556
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.