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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,402 (OPENING THEME PLAYING) 2 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:31,029 Oh... 3 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,864 Yeah. 4 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,434 I got three letters for you tonight. 5 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:36,802 (ROBIN SPEAKING) 6 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,503 -(BEAST BOY SPEAKING) -(STARFIRE SPEAKING) 7 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:39,971 (RAVEN SPEAKING) 8 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,174 CYBORG: No, no, no and no! 9 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,543 They are "V" "H" and "S." 10 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:48,246 That's right. I got VHSes for days. 11 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,614 For days. 12 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,316 Can we watch The Golden Girls? 13 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,418 I love those sassy, old broads! 14 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:57,956 And I would like to watch The Crosby Pudding Half Hour Show of Sweaters. 15 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:01,660 Theo, get your glorp-nops off the kitchen table. 16 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,794 Rudy! 17 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,297 Let's watch Alf again. I love Alf. 18 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:09,101 Yes, eat that cat, Alf, eat him. 19 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,969 He's hiding in the kitchen drawer, Alf. 20 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,805 But be patient. Savor the hunt, you beast! 21 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,807 I want to watch me some Manimal. 22 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,042 A guy that can turn into animals, 23 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,044 -that's so cheeseball. -(BLEATING) 24 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,445 Those are all great shows. 25 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,915 But tonight we are watching The A-Team. 26 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,386 "A" is the highest of letters, it must be the best. 27 00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:31,823 It's about four cool dudes who ride around in a van with a stripe. 28 00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,626 I love stripes! Was it red? 29 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,128 You know it was red! 30 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,363 And they would protect the innocent from bad guys. 31 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,065 Oh. Kind of like us. 32 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,200 Except they weren't lame! 33 00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:45,203 They made cool weapons out of junk, like oil drums and pieces of discarded metal 34 00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,471 and oil drums! 35 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,807 That sounds so awesome! 36 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:49,941 It was! 37 00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:53,545 Now, let's get this party started! 38 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,846 Where's the remote? 39 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,715 I have not seen the remote controller. 40 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,216 -I don't know. -Beats me. 41 00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,551 Psh, I don't know. 42 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,820 It's probably just in the couch cushion. 43 00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:04,756 Ew. 44 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,993 (BIRD SQUAWKING) 45 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,528 Have you seen the remote, Sticky Joe? 46 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,897 -Howdy! -Then you're useless to us! 47 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,399 Beat it, Sticky Joe. Beat it! 48 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,435 (HYPERVENTILATING) 49 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:20,071 It's not here. The remote. It's not here! 50 00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,508 (WAILING) 51 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:27,479 Hey, it's okay, Cyborg. We can just use the buttons on the TV. 52 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,714 The buttons? The buttons! You're right! 53 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:32,451 The TV's got all sorts of buttons for things. 54 00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:35,987 (BUTTONS BEEPING) 55 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,123 (STAMMERING) Menu... 56 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,026 (GIBBERISH) 57 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:41,927 Would you relax? 58 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,495 The remote will turn up eventually. 59 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,530 We'll watch The A-Team some other time. 60 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,232 This is not about The A-Team. 61 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,301 Or Charles in Charge, or Webster, or Small Wonder, 62 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,369 or Silver Spoons, or Out of This World, or Magnum, P.I., 63 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,505 or MacGyver, or Perfect Strangers, or Facts of Life, 64 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,240 or Happy Days, or Who's the Boss? or Head of the Class, 65 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,075 or Too Close for Comfort, or Knight Rider, 66 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,243 or Dukes of Hazzard, or Greatest American Hero. 67 00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,644 Cyborg, gimme a break. 68 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:03,815 Without TV I don't know what to do with myself. 69 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,084 It's just TV, Cyborg. 70 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,786 "Just TV"? 71 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,957 The best moments of my life have been sitting in front of that guy. 72 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,260 He teaches me life lessons, made me laugh, 73 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:18,296 and filled lots of empty time. 74 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:22,100 Wow. You... (CLEARS THROAT) You sound like a crazy person. 75 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:25,103 I think we should use this opportunity to take a break from TV. 76 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,372 What? Why would we want to do that? 77 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:31,943 Because concerned parents have theorized for decades that TV rots the brain! 78 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,012 Well, that's obviously ridiculous. 79 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,281 TV keeps your brain active, healthy and strong. 80 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,651 I don't know, dude. If a parent said it, it has to be true. 81 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:44,222 Then, instead of watching TV we're gonna spend our time hanging out with each other! 82 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,857 -Yes! -Yes! 83 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:49,928 (CLOCK TICKING) 84 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:54,733 Without TV you really notice how long every second is. 85 00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,338 Are you serious? 86 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,107 How many more of those are there before we go to sleep? 87 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,442 Approximately 32,000. 88 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:07,145 Oh, I am not doing this 32,000 more times! 89 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,714 All right, we need an activity to occupy our time. 90 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,250 Let's engage in some meaningful conversation. 91 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,452 How do you meaningfully conversate, bro? 92 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,289 We just express our thoughts and feelings with words. 93 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,356 -Oh. -Thoughts... 94 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,491 -Yeah. -Hmm. 95 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,359 -All right. -Great. Uh, I'll start. 96 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:22,827 Um... (CLEARS THROAT) 97 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,998 Good afternoon. These are a nice day... For things. 98 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:32,370 Um... (CLEARS THROAT) Hi, I'm a person. 99 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,607 I know when I do things. 100 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:40,812 -One time... I saw. -Uh... 101 00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:45,083 You guys, uh, remember... Things? 102 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:49,220 -So fun when we... Right? -Yeah. 103 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,157 (ALL LAUGHING FORCEFULLY) 104 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,660 (SCREAMING) 105 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,563 We have to find the remote and watch TV. Now! 106 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,298 Don't panic, Titans. 107 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,267 We just have to do whatever people did for fun before TV. 108 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,936 -Like a parade? -Oh, I've heard of those. 109 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:08,239 -This is a parade? -It's just people walking! 110 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,943 And why are the automobiles traveling so slowly? 111 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,679 Is it deliberate? To make it the boring? 112 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,048 Don't tell me that's another marching band! 113 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,619 It's just marching band, after marching band, after marching band! 114 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,822 Whoa! Look at him spin that baton! 115 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,290 Okay, I'm over it. 116 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,125 (ALL BOOING) 117 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,295 CYBORG: I can't, I can't. 118 00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,230 I can't take anymore parades or terrible conversations! 119 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,399 Let's just find the remote and watch Murder, She Wrote. 120 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,968 That's just going to rot your brain, Cyborg. 121 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,571 Instead, let's use these new seconds we have 122 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:43,174 to pursue fulfilling activities that enrich our lives. 123 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,811 Beast Boy, haven't you always wanted to learn to play keyboard? 124 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,046 Just don't have the time, brah. 125 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,681 -Now you do! -(BEAST BOY SHRIEKS) 126 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,584 And Raven, haven't you always wanted to be a bodybuilder? 127 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,386 -No. -Now you can! 128 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,856 Star, you've always wanted to do volunteer work for the poor, 129 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,858 but didn't want to miss your favorite shows. 130 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,293 There are so many of the poor people, 131 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,996 but even more of the shows to watch. 132 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,265 Now we can all follow our passions. 133 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,602 Because without TV, we have nothing better to do! 134 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,803 Titans, go! 135 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,204 (MUSIC PLAYING) 136 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,752 (PLAYING NOTE) 137 00:06:30,489 --> 00:06:31,923 Who wants tapas? 138 00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:40,298 Mmm. My friends at the kitchen of soup would love this recipe! 139 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,568 -(DEEP VOICE) Great source of protein. -You said it, mama. 140 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,572 Look at us, Titans. We did it! We filled time! 141 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,008 So many seconds went by, yo! 142 00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:55,313 So why do we feel so empty inside? 143 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,082 Maybe it's because learning to play the keyboard 144 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,184 didn't teach you about friendship. 145 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,020 And volunteering didn't make you a better person. 146 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,556 And there's nothing funny about bodybuilding. 147 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,024 You can say that again. 148 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,226 Only TV can give us those things! 149 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,962 Life without TV is meaningless. 150 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,665 The Teen Titans are supposed to be heroes, 151 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,134 but the real hero is television. 152 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,702 Can I get a "Turn it on"? 153 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,604 ALL: Turn it on! 154 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,173 (SNIFFING) Hey, what's that smell? 155 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,576 (SNIFFING) Oh, that's not right. 156 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,311 -Ew. -Yeah. 157 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,146 I do not understand. 158 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,115 No, no, no! 159 00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:34,986 (SNIFFING) Uh, this is bad! 160 00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,856 (EXCLAIMING) Your brains, they are rotting. 161 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,091 But we haven't been watching TV. 162 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,659 Exactly! 163 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,795 Just as I suspected! 164 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:47,966 TV keeps your brain from rotting by feeding it information and good times. 165 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,636 (SNIFFING) Huh, but your brain doesn't stink, Cyborg. 166 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,172 It's because I have watched so much quality programming, 167 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,074 my brain is stronger than yours. 168 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,009 Then the rest of us need to get in front of a TV 169 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,911 before our brains rot away completely. 170 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:03,882 But the device that controls remotely is still missing. 171 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,150 Then we improvise! 172 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,451 Just like The A-Team. 173 00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,994 I love it when a plan comes together. 174 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,997 What plan? That's not a TV. 175 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,900 Just look. It's a show about plants. 176 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,968 This is just as good as anything on TV! 177 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:27,238 Ooh, ooh! Can we change the channel? I wanna watch something else! 178 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,873 No problem. 179 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,376 How about The Cockroach Show? 180 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,211 I wanna watch the show about wall. 181 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,712 Which one are you talking about, Rave? 182 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,514 You know, the one about wall. 183 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,150 Oh, right. The Wall Show. 184 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:43,755 Huh. Is that stain new, or from the last episode? 185 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,390 I think it's new. 186 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,126 Oh, look! It's a crossover episode from The Cockroach Show. 187 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,628 (SNIFFS) The smell is getting worse! 188 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,163 It's not working, Cyborg. 189 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,600 How about now? 190 00:08:59,004 --> 00:09:00,872 How about now? 191 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,108 -(GROANING) -(SCREAMING) 192 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,145 Your brains! They've completely rotted. 193 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:11,249 (GROANING) It's so nice out. 194 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,083 (SCREAMING) 195 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,718 Let's go for a hike. 196 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,789 (GROWLING) Join us for a game of miniature golf, brah. 197 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,392 (GROANING) I'm taking a French class. 198 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,261 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 199 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,597 Your rotted brains are making you crazy! 200 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:28,366 No! No! I don't want to do activities! 201 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,500 You can't make me! 202 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,069 Hi-yah! 203 00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,005 TV? What are you doing here? 204 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,908 I've raised countless children, Cyborg, 205 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,744 but you have always been my favorite. 206 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:44,082 You might be surprised to know that all those years you spent staring at me, 207 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,517 I was staring right back at you. 208 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:51,122 And it's been a joy to help shape you into the man you are today. 209 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:54,225 -I love you, Cyborg. -I love you, too, TV. 210 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,461 Now, the only way to save your friends 211 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:59,864 is to reverse their brain rot with quality programming. 212 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,000 Then turn yourself on, dude. 213 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,002 I don't know how these buttons work. 214 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,937 No one does. Where's the remote? 215 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,972 We lost it. It could be anywhere. 216 00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,541 Then we're going to have to find it! 217 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,043 Let's go! 218 00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,979 (INAUDIBLE) 219 00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:29,594 (GLASS SHATTERING) 220 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,728 -Yeah! -Yeah! 221 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,063 (MOANING AND GROANING) 222 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,431 -So nice out. -I'm taking French class. 223 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,033 -ROBIN: A hike. -(CYBORG YELLS) 224 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,534 (CYBORG GRUNTS) 225 00:10:40,005 --> 00:10:42,240 (MUMBLES) ''Huh, What?'' 226 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,609 Thanks for fixing our brains, TV. 227 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,678 No problem. 228 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,447 So, I was thinking, it's such a beautiful day why don't we all go on a hike? 229 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,684 Or perhaps, take in some culture at a museum. 230 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,285 I'm just messing with ya. 231 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,121 Let's watch 18 hours of A-Team. 232 00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:58,723 (ALL CHEERING) 17556

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