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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,235 --> 00:00:08,652 Captain needs to locate the lateral access valve. 2 00:00:08,735 --> 00:00:09,652 BILLIE MCEVOY: Don't worry, Captain! 3 00:00:09,735 --> 00:00:11,026 -(STARTLED) -You got this! 4 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,777 -(WHISPERS) I've got this. -(BOTH GRUNT) 5 00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:14,652 -That's it. -Oh, bugger me! 6 00:00:14,735 --> 00:00:16,068 Oh no! 7 00:00:16,777 --> 00:00:18,026 ♪ (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 8 00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,652 (CROWDS CHEERING) 9 00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:20,527 Get me a car to Buffalo. 10 00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:21,735 You're going to the White House? 11 00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:23,610 Oh, yes! Time to do some corporate begging. 12 00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:24,610 ALAN LEWIS: Oh! 13 00:00:24,902 --> 00:00:26,860 -(APPLAUSE) -RYAN CLARK: Oh, hey! Come on. 14 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:27,819 I was just doing my job. 15 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,568 Just did what we had to do. 16 00:00:29,652 --> 00:00:30,902 I did what I had to do. 17 00:00:30,985 --> 00:00:32,026 HERMAN JUDD: It's getting thicker! 18 00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:34,443 -This is your fault. -It's Frank's fault! 19 00:00:34,527 --> 00:00:36,443 -He hit the big brown buttons. -KAREN KELLY: Frank! 20 00:00:36,527 --> 00:00:37,860 CROWD: (CHANTING) Ship him out! 21 00:00:37,944 --> 00:00:38,902 Frank! Frank! 22 00:00:38,985 --> 00:00:41,360 CLARK: Calm, and I cannot stress this enough, 23 00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:42,944 the fuck down! 24 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,485 These people are humanity's finest, 25 00:00:45,568 --> 00:00:47,193 -and they need-- -(RAUCOUS CHATTER) 26 00:00:47,276 --> 00:00:48,985 AIDE: The president will see you now. 27 00:00:49,068 --> 00:00:49,985 Great. 28 00:00:57,151 --> 00:00:59,318 RYAN CLARK: (ENGLISH ACCENT) He nearly got Frank space-lynched, 29 00:00:59,402 --> 00:01:01,235 so what are we gonna do about Judd? 30 00:01:01,318 --> 00:01:03,735 (SCOFFS) Two options. 31 00:01:03,819 --> 00:01:06,568 One, murder. And two, 32 00:01:06,652 --> 00:01:08,860 and I know I keep looping back to this... 33 00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:09,735 murder. 34 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,652 You keep saying that word, Karen. 35 00:01:11,735 --> 00:01:14,151 You keep saying it. 36 00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:16,860 Okay, can you please just let me fix your door? 37 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,902 No. I'm going to do this myself. 38 00:01:18,985 --> 00:01:22,193 I may be a fake and a fraud and a terrible lay 39 00:01:22,276 --> 00:01:24,151 and a credit risk and a tax-dodger 40 00:01:24,235 --> 00:01:25,568 and an emotional homunculus, 41 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,443 but I am still a useful, functioning-- 42 00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:30,110 Actually, can you do this? 43 00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,235 -Yeah. -RYAN: Yeah. 44 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,110 -(GASPS) Baby! -RYAN: What? 45 00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:35,485 A passenger has just gone into labor. 46 00:01:35,568 --> 00:01:37,110 -There's gonna be a baby! -BILLIE MCEVOY: Whoa! 47 00:01:37,193 --> 00:01:38,652 Holy shit! We're having a baby? 48 00:01:38,735 --> 00:01:40,193 -Mr. Judd's in there. -Why? 49 00:01:40,276 --> 00:01:42,652 He's, quote, "executive producing" the birth. 50 00:01:43,985 --> 00:01:45,610 -Here. -Yeah, yeah, leave it with me. 51 00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:47,068 (DOOR CLATTERS) 52 00:01:47,151 --> 00:01:48,777 (KAREN KELLY SIGHS) 53 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,151 -I'm fine. Yeah. -KAREN: You all right? 54 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,360 That's it, come on! Get it out of her! 55 00:01:52,443 --> 00:01:54,276 -(CRYING) -That's it. Hey! Hey! 56 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,860 Vacuum extraction! My idea! We're gonna suck a person 57 00:01:57,944 --> 00:01:59,652 -out of this person! -BILLIE: Yeah. 58 00:01:59,735 --> 00:02:00,944 -(HANNAH SCREAMS) -Let's go! 59 00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:02,860 MATT SPENCER: God, the baby is going from a womb 60 00:02:02,944 --> 00:02:04,276 surrounded by bodily fluids 61 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,402 to a ship surrounded by bodily solids. 62 00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:07,902 Where did you come from, eyeballs? 63 00:02:07,985 --> 00:02:09,985 Originally? Pennsylvania. 64 00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:11,151 Before the fires. 65 00:02:11,235 --> 00:02:14,151 -(HANNAH SCREAMS) -HERMAN JUDD: Whoa! 66 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,902 (BABY CRIES) 67 00:02:17,026 --> 00:02:18,985 -I'll cut the string. -Cord. 68 00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:21,318 MATT: Full Hakuna Matata! 69 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,568 -JUDD: There we go. Hey... -(LOUD BEEP) 70 00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:26,485 I'm gonna keep the placenta. Fair's fair. 71 00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:29,235 Have this snap frozen. Landmark human tissue. 72 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,193 -MATT: You fucking killed it. -HANNAH: What? 73 00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:34,777 -JUDD: Oh... -MATT: Like, I'm smiling. 74 00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:36,777 You killed it, like... (CHUCKLES) 75 00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:37,735 It's a baby. 76 00:02:37,819 --> 00:02:39,276 Yeah, it's really-- It's a good one. 77 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,193 -(BABY GURGLING) -(LOUD BEEP) 78 00:02:43,568 --> 00:02:46,443 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 79 00:02:53,902 --> 00:02:55,443 People of Avenue 5, 80 00:02:55,527 --> 00:02:57,735 I bring you tidings of great joy. 81 00:02:57,819 --> 00:03:01,193 At 1105 hours today, we welcomed 82 00:03:01,276 --> 00:03:04,193 -the first ever bab-- -The first baby born in space! 83 00:03:04,276 --> 00:03:05,443 (CHEERING) 84 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,694 -Oh, I'm so sorry, did you-- -It's fine. 85 00:03:07,777 --> 00:03:09,527 -I just really wanted to say it. -I'm so sorry. 86 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:12,735 You know, I sometimes have this terrible case of Karen Mouth 87 00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:15,193 -and, you know... -(LOUD BEEP) 88 00:03:15,276 --> 00:03:16,652 MIA: What's the name? 89 00:03:16,735 --> 00:03:18,276 Oh, now she's interested in babies. 90 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,860 No name as yet. Current alias, AKA Space Baby. 91 00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,151 -A beautiful... -Baby boy! (CHUCKLES) 92 00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:24,819 -little baby b-- -Baby boy! 93 00:03:24,902 --> 00:03:26,276 -(CHUCKLES) -(CROWD CHEERS) 94 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,026 I did it again! You know what it was? 95 00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,360 'Cause you said "little," so-- 96 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,985 and I just went straight to "baby boy," 97 00:03:32,068 --> 00:03:33,902 so I got there first, otherwise we would've-- 98 00:03:33,985 --> 00:03:35,568 Is that it? Or is it your Karen Mouth 99 00:03:35,652 --> 00:03:36,902 -that you can't shut? -(LOUD BEEP) 100 00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:40,151 What is that? Why is the ship beeping? 101 00:03:40,235 --> 00:03:43,360 You know-- and this has never happened before-- 102 00:03:44,026 --> 00:03:45,318 I don't actually know. 103 00:03:45,402 --> 00:03:46,485 MAN 1: What does he look like? 104 00:03:46,568 --> 00:03:49,360 -Oh, he is adora-- -Adora-- 105 00:03:49,443 --> 00:03:51,527 What is your damage? 106 00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,819 -We need to sort this-- -Yeah, Captain, I'm on it. 107 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,151 (LOUD BEEP) 108 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,610 Presumably, it's a warning of some kind. 109 00:03:57,694 --> 00:03:59,735 Well, yes, you don't usually have a recurring beep 110 00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:01,485 to tell you everything's going just fine. 111 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,652 -(LOUD BEEP) -RYAN: It's down here. 112 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,568 Some-- It's somewhere... 113 00:04:07,652 --> 00:04:08,694 (LOUD BEEP) 114 00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:11,819 -(LOUD BEEP) -RYAN: No, it's... it's... 115 00:04:12,443 --> 00:04:13,610 (LOUD BEEP) 116 00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:15,068 RYAN: No, it's not up here. 117 00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:17,527 Man, they really love that baby, huh? 118 00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,735 Yeah, babies are like New Zealanders. 119 00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:22,610 Everyone loves them and the funny way they talk. 120 00:04:22,694 --> 00:04:25,235 -Oh, there's Iris. -See that? See that? 121 00:04:25,318 --> 00:04:27,443 She never looks at me like that. 122 00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,568 She never gives me that look. 123 00:04:29,652 --> 00:04:31,694 (SUCKS TEETH) Funny. 124 00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:33,985 -Are you hurting? -Hmm? 125 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,694 Is that baby hurting you? 126 00:04:39,402 --> 00:04:40,485 MATT: Yeah? 127 00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:45,985 (SIGHS) Face it. They prefer that baby to me. 128 00:04:47,026 --> 00:04:48,735 Baby gives them hope. 129 00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:52,276 All I give them is shitty-yuck-yuck. 130 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,318 (SIGHS) Not that it's a competition. 131 00:04:55,402 --> 00:04:56,985 Judd versus Baby. 132 00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,985 But if it were, I'd destroy that baby. 133 00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:02,652 Physically, emotionally, endurance-wise. 134 00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:03,819 I'd finish that baby 135 00:05:03,902 --> 00:05:06,276 before he could get past the first month. 136 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,819 It wouldn't even be a fair contest. 137 00:05:07,902 --> 00:05:10,110 One shot to the soft spot, that baby's down for the count. 138 00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:12,402 Yeah, it wouldn't have the upper body strength. 139 00:05:12,944 --> 00:05:14,235 (LOUD BEEP) 140 00:05:14,318 --> 00:05:18,235 Captain? Captain. Uh, the ship is beeping. 141 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,110 And I can tell you why. I'm going to cover my mouth... 142 00:05:21,193 --> 00:05:23,860 (MUFFLED) because this could cause mass distress. 143 00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:27,443 It's an oxygen beep. Uh, we've got a leak. 144 00:05:29,735 --> 00:05:31,568 -Well-- I mean, that-- -Billie? Billie? 145 00:05:31,652 --> 00:05:33,777 I don't know what else it could be, 146 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:35,485 and maybe he's right? 147 00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,402 -I-- I-- I just-- -We need oxygen! 148 00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,819 -I love oxygen! -Captain, your mouth. 149 00:05:38,902 --> 00:05:40,485 -Cover your fucking mouth. -RYAN: Billie? 150 00:05:40,568 --> 00:05:42,527 Well, hopefully it's just one-- 151 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:43,652 Hopefully, it's just 152 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,110 -one leaking tank... -RYAN: Okay. 153 00:05:45,193 --> 00:05:47,819 BILLIE: ...but if the recycling system's screwed, then... 154 00:05:47,902 --> 00:05:48,902 so are we. 155 00:05:48,985 --> 00:05:51,652 The running out of air, is it as bad as they say? 156 00:05:51,735 --> 00:05:53,318 -Or not as bad? -Yeah, it's bad. 157 00:05:53,402 --> 00:05:55,777 I mean, like, first you get, like, a grittiness in your eyes, 158 00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,151 then your tongue is literally gonna boil in your mouth 159 00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:01,026 before you just pass out and you just never wake up again. 160 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,026 SPIKE MARTIN: Don't forget the organ failure. 161 00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:05,485 Oh, I almost forgot the organ failure. 162 00:06:05,568 --> 00:06:08,443 (SIGHS) I've just seen my perfect Space Baby. 163 00:06:08,527 --> 00:06:09,985 Iris, you should prepare to enjoy 164 00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:11,276 your last moments of happiness, 165 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,235 because we think we may have an oxygen leak. 166 00:06:14,318 --> 00:06:15,568 -An oxygen leak? -ALL: Shh! 167 00:06:15,652 --> 00:06:17,402 BILLIE: Freak out into your hand and cover your mouth. 168 00:06:17,485 --> 00:06:19,276 -Do we have enough to get home? -SPIKE: It depends. 169 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,652 Vigorous activity would drain this turkey in no time. 170 00:06:22,735 --> 00:06:25,026 I'm talking exercise, singing, 171 00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:27,151 lovemaking, if you're doing it right. 172 00:06:27,235 --> 00:06:28,235 Ugh. 173 00:06:28,318 --> 00:06:29,860 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Hey! Hi there. Howdy. 174 00:06:29,944 --> 00:06:31,485 You keep greeting people in triplicate, 175 00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:33,527 we'll be dead by Tuesday. 176 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,735 -Karen. -KAREN: Hey. 177 00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:35,902 Why do you all look so jumpy? 178 00:06:35,985 --> 00:06:40,068 We... have a leak. We're running out of oxygen. 179 00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:42,235 -A leak?! -(STIFLED MUTTERS) 180 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,568 What is this ship made of, tin foil? 181 00:06:44,652 --> 00:06:46,193 -(SPIKE CHUCKLES) -(LOUD BEEP) 182 00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:47,151 Hi, girl. 183 00:06:47,235 --> 00:06:48,735 I don't actually think this is about 184 00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:50,568 that non-combat-ready baby. 185 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:51,777 I think it's about 186 00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:54,944 what your inner voice is telling you about yourself. 187 00:06:55,026 --> 00:06:57,235 -What is it saying? -The one I'm using now? 188 00:06:57,318 --> 00:06:58,735 No, the voice inside your head. 189 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:02,068 Oh, no, my thoughts connect instantaneously with my mouth. 190 00:07:02,151 --> 00:07:03,443 It's extremely efficient. 191 00:07:03,527 --> 00:07:05,485 Clinically, it's probably very unique. 192 00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:08,402 -(LOUD BEEP) -(GRUNTS) Iris! 193 00:07:08,485 --> 00:07:10,694 MATT: Okay, how about this? 194 00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:12,151 (SIGHS) 195 00:07:12,235 --> 00:07:13,652 You need to change the way they see you. 196 00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:16,151 You need to change the way they see the shit. 197 00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:18,276 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 198 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,360 Wait... 199 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:22,318 Are-- Are you... 200 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,485 Are you talking about... 201 00:07:25,568 --> 00:07:26,652 lasers? 202 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,610 Specifically... 203 00:07:31,694 --> 00:07:36,360 illuminating the ring of nasty shit 204 00:07:36,443 --> 00:07:40,318 around the ship with some goddamn lasers? 205 00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:42,902 -(LOUD BEEP) -JUDD: Iris! 206 00:07:44,694 --> 00:07:47,318 -Miss Mulcair? (CLEARS THROAT) -Hi. 207 00:07:47,402 --> 00:07:49,485 The President thanks you for your visit, 208 00:07:49,568 --> 00:07:52,402 and I can confirm we will be funding the rescue. 209 00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:53,985 (GASPS) Oh, knock me sideways! 210 00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:57,318 That is like diving into a bath of beans! 211 00:07:57,402 --> 00:07:59,819 Well, once you clear it with the Other President, 212 00:07:59,902 --> 00:08:00,860 you are good to go! 213 00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:03,402 I'm sorry? The Other President? 214 00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:06,193 I assumed the Other President was already across this. 215 00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:08,068 We don't like to bother the Other President 216 00:08:08,151 --> 00:08:09,610 unless it's absolutely necessary. 217 00:08:09,694 --> 00:08:11,360 -No? -So, if you could just slip on 218 00:08:11,443 --> 00:08:13,068 these electrostatic shoe covers... 219 00:08:13,151 --> 00:08:15,985 -Right, okay, right. -If we could just get a move on. 220 00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:19,902 Okay. Let's go and... (CHUCKLES) ...do this! 221 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:25,193 ♪ (SOMBER STRING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 222 00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:28,777 (LOUD BEEP) 223 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:32,944 (LOUD BEEP) 224 00:08:33,985 --> 00:08:35,318 (SIGHS) 225 00:08:35,402 --> 00:08:38,151 -(LOUD BEEP) -(SIGHS) 226 00:08:39,193 --> 00:08:41,276 -(LOUD BEEP) -(SCREAMS) 227 00:08:44,777 --> 00:08:46,777 -(LOUD BEEP) -(HEAVY SIGH) 228 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,110 (LOUD BEEP) 229 00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:59,735 JUDD: Good morning and so forth. Mm-hmm. 230 00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:02,193 -Oh, Mr. Judd-- -JUDD: Great. 231 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:05,402 Shall we begin this meeting forthwith heretofore, please? 232 00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:10,110 All right, so, uh, welcome 233 00:09:10,193 --> 00:09:14,902 to this first passenger-crew liaison meeting. 234 00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:16,860 -(LOUD BEEP) -(RYAN CHOKES) 235 00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:19,068 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Fucking hands! 236 00:09:19,151 --> 00:09:20,944 All you had to do was hold the cup! 237 00:09:21,026 --> 00:09:23,402 -Fumbling bitches... -MIA: Is he British? 238 00:09:23,485 --> 00:09:25,068 -No, he's doing a voice. -Oh, okay. 239 00:09:25,151 --> 00:09:27,068 You know it's coming, then you forget it's coming, 240 00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,652 -and it just-- -JUDD: Set a reminder, uh, 241 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,068 pre-beep to remind me of the big beep. 242 00:09:30,151 --> 00:09:31,902 -You got it, baby. -Already on it, thank you, Matt. 243 00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:34,402 KAREN: All right, so, I think it would be fitting 244 00:09:34,485 --> 00:09:37,694 -to start with an apology. -JUDD: I accept. 245 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,068 From you to me, you big S-gibbon, 246 00:09:40,151 --> 00:09:43,235 because you tried to fire my husband out the ship! 247 00:09:43,318 --> 00:09:45,068 Mm-mm. I never say sorry. 248 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,902 Like my hero, Gandhi. 249 00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:49,735 All right. Agenda, shall we? 250 00:09:49,819 --> 00:09:51,276 I have a question. 251 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,777 I would like a new cabin away from my broken prophylactic 252 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,985 -of a husband. -Will you-- 253 00:09:56,068 --> 00:09:58,652 All due respect, normo, we have bigger fish to fry. 254 00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,777 Second that. And we can't afford the air. 255 00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,151 -Right. -MIA: Wait, why not? 256 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,485 -(SNAPS) -(LOUD BEEP) 257 00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:05,402 -(LAUGHS) -What do you mean, you can't afford the air? 258 00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,944 -Iris, did you-- did you just laugh? -You're delirious. 259 00:10:08,026 --> 00:10:10,944 JUDD: All right, so, I have figured out a way 260 00:10:11,026 --> 00:10:14,068 to re-perceive the turd sleeve around this ship. 261 00:10:14,151 --> 00:10:17,151 Three words: theatrical lighting rig. 262 00:10:17,235 --> 00:10:20,777 And here's five: what, what, and why? 263 00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:22,694 Uh... No, that's four. 264 00:10:22,777 --> 00:10:23,777 Fuck, I'm so tired. Jesus. 265 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,777 I'm sorry, are we running out of air? 266 00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:27,235 -Yeah. -MIA: Like, actual air? 267 00:10:27,318 --> 00:10:28,777 Not, like, cooking air 268 00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:30,735 or, you know, like, air conditioning-- 269 00:10:30,819 --> 00:10:32,652 In nine months, so don't get pregnant, 270 00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:34,151 that'd be a complete waste of time. 271 00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:37,068 Okay, I'm-- I'm calm. I'm not gonna tell anybody. 272 00:10:37,735 --> 00:10:39,485 Good. All right. 273 00:10:39,568 --> 00:10:41,902 -So, can we just focus-- -I thought I was calm, 274 00:10:41,985 --> 00:10:44,151 but I am not fucking calm. I don't wanna die! 275 00:10:44,235 --> 00:10:46,193 I don't wanna run out of air! 276 00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:47,527 -Thank you. -(LOUD BEEP) 277 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,694 -Hey, Secretary of State. -Hi, Judd Galaxy. 278 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,527 I like your nails. 279 00:11:03,902 --> 00:11:05,777 -Thank you. -You got any wax? 280 00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:08,360 -This string's dried out. -What, crossbow wax? 281 00:11:08,443 --> 00:11:10,902 Ooh, let me have a look. No, sorry. 282 00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:12,568 -(BEEP) -Oh, it's me. 283 00:11:14,944 --> 00:11:17,485 (WHISPERS) Okay. Do I just...? 284 00:11:17,568 --> 00:11:19,985 THE OTHER PRESIDENT: (ROBOTIC MALE VOICE) Miss Mulcair, please clearly 285 00:11:20,068 --> 00:11:21,360 and audibly state your business. 286 00:11:21,443 --> 00:11:25,110 Right, hello. Uh, I am here on behalf of Judd Galaxy. 287 00:11:25,193 --> 00:11:28,193 We urgently need rescue funds. 288 00:11:28,276 --> 00:11:32,360 Four point two three trillion dollars. 289 00:11:32,443 --> 00:11:35,276 I believe written materials have been submitted directly... 290 00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:37,068 into you? 291 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,735 THE OTHER PRESIDENT: We will redirect funds from the... 292 00:11:40,819 --> 00:11:42,568 (FEMALE VOICE) ...National Child Welfare... 293 00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:43,610 (MALE VOICE) ...program. 294 00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:47,402 Oh. Oh, my God. This-- This is... 295 00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:50,068 (LAUGHS) ...everything! 296 00:11:50,151 --> 00:11:51,735 Thank you so much! 297 00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:54,151 I have been in such a dark place. 298 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,819 Can I-- No? No? (CHUCKLES) 299 00:11:55,902 --> 00:11:57,402 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 300 00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:59,402 THE OTHER PRESIDENT: Please, will you consider the removal 301 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,318 of 500 non-essential passengers? 302 00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:04,652 Right. 303 00:12:04,735 --> 00:12:08,485 I absolutely hear... what you're saying. 304 00:12:08,568 --> 00:12:11,819 It's just that that would raise one or two 305 00:12:11,902 --> 00:12:14,026 -ethical questions-- -Thank you! 306 00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:16,360 Your query has been forwarded to the... 307 00:12:16,443 --> 00:12:17,735 (DEEP MALE VOICE) ...Department of Ethics. 308 00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:19,819 -But, uh... -Goodbye. Have a nice day. 309 00:12:19,902 --> 00:12:21,902 RAV MULCAIR: No. No, no, no, no. 310 00:12:21,985 --> 00:12:24,151 KAREN: All right, so I appreciate that some of us 311 00:12:24,235 --> 00:12:26,652 are sleep-victimized. However, 312 00:12:26,735 --> 00:12:29,360 bearing in mind the scarcity of resources, 313 00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:31,568 can we try to keep lang' at an abs' min'? 314 00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:35,485 -Wh-- What are you saying? -I am trying to conserve oxygen 315 00:12:35,568 --> 00:12:37,860 by... 'bridging my w'rds. 316 00:12:37,944 --> 00:12:39,777 Well, it's highly, highly confusing. 317 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,735 You see, you did not need the second "highly," 318 00:12:41,819 --> 00:12:43,944 -one would've s'ff'c'd. -Would-- 319 00:12:44,026 --> 00:12:45,026 -Sufficed. -Ugh. 320 00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:46,944 -Jesus frazzling Christ! -Oh, my God. 321 00:12:47,026 --> 00:12:49,318 Can we skip the missing letters round? 322 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,318 I've just reconsidered your earlier point, 323 00:12:51,402 --> 00:12:53,443 re: an apology. S'ry. 324 00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:55,026 -(LOUD BEEP) -(IRIS KIMURA LAUGHS) 325 00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,443 -Iris, you laughed! -Fine! I'm s-- 326 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,360 -What's the matter with you? -I-- I find it amusing. 327 00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:02,610 (SNICKERING) I don't know why, it just... beep! 328 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,944 Why are you being such a baby, Iris? Hmm? 329 00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:07,026 You like babies so much you wanna be one? 330 00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:09,777 Question: are we really running out of air? 331 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,610 -Supplemental: what the fuck? -JUDD: Yes! 332 00:13:12,694 --> 00:13:14,068 To your first question. 333 00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:16,443 I don't know how to answer your second question. 334 00:13:16,527 --> 00:13:19,151 But Matty and I have come up with 335 00:13:19,235 --> 00:13:21,568 a series of oxygen conservation policies. 336 00:13:21,652 --> 00:13:23,110 "Oxygen conservation policies." 337 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,485 Well, that's a lungful right there. 338 00:13:24,568 --> 00:13:26,735 Let's try to keep the energy positive around Mr. Judd 339 00:13:26,819 --> 00:13:28,610 -while he pupates. -While he what? 340 00:13:28,694 --> 00:13:29,860 While he pupates. 341 00:13:29,944 --> 00:13:32,318 I've gone through a period of serious introspection 342 00:13:32,402 --> 00:13:33,443 since last night. 343 00:13:34,235 --> 00:13:35,193 Okay, so first of-- 344 00:13:35,276 --> 00:13:38,318 Oh, also, you should know, I-- I tent now. 345 00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:41,694 First up, no running. Leads to panting. 346 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,443 -Don't do it. -Oh, secondly, 347 00:13:43,527 --> 00:13:47,276 fat people shouldn't use stairs, and avoid any incline. 348 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,860 Direct! Merciless. Yes. 349 00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:51,777 Uh, fat people should not exert themselves. 350 00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:55,110 -By fat people, do you mean... -Anyone over two-- 351 00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:57,151 Two hundred and fifty-seven pounds. 352 00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,485 -JUDD: Mm-mm. -IRIS: Mm-hmm. 353 00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:00,819 -JUDD: Mm-hmm? -IRIS: Mm-hmm. 354 00:14:00,902 --> 00:14:05,151 Okay, uh, yes, a 257-pound cutoff. 355 00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:07,944 RYAN: So what are we going to do? We're gonna weigh people as they go about their-- 356 00:14:08,026 --> 00:14:10,360 -Are you really asking questions about-- -JUDD: You know what? Everyone-- 357 00:14:10,443 --> 00:14:13,193 please get outta here. I-- I need a safe space to create. 358 00:14:13,276 --> 00:14:16,193 Just me, Matty, and the person whose name I ignored. 359 00:14:16,276 --> 00:14:17,568 -Who's that? -JUDD: You. 360 00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:18,694 Okay. 361 00:14:18,777 --> 00:14:20,860 That guy is a complete moron. The more he talks, 362 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,610 -the more in danger we all are. -Unless we 'M' him. 363 00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:25,151 Okay, Karen, you gotta stop saying that. 364 00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:27,318 -That is clearly not an option-- -(KAREN CLEARS THROAT) 365 00:14:28,151 --> 00:14:29,360 Life coached by Matt? 366 00:14:29,443 --> 00:14:31,318 That's like being taught to drive by a hen. 367 00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,402 We're running out of oxygen and he's "pupating." 368 00:14:33,485 --> 00:14:34,777 He could kill us all. 369 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:39,902 KAREN: Well, you know, Iris, we could... sedate him. 370 00:14:39,985 --> 00:14:42,735 Yeah, no, that could work. That could actually work. 371 00:14:42,819 --> 00:14:44,235 Well, we could double the dose? 372 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,402 He might have a stroke, 373 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,694 then you'll only be physically wiping his ass. 374 00:14:47,777 --> 00:14:51,360 Right. Where are we gonna get sedatives and a dart gun? 375 00:14:51,443 --> 00:14:52,735 Well, Matt monitors the supply, 376 00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:55,777 and I bet he has full access to whatev' they got down there. 377 00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:57,402 Sir, it's Rav for you. 378 00:14:57,485 --> 00:14:59,735 We round Jupiter in three minutes and lose comms. 379 00:14:59,819 --> 00:15:01,902 My cabin is closest, so stride with me. 380 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:05,318 Excuse me! Karen Kelly! Make a hole, or I will! 381 00:15:08,819 --> 00:15:09,694 (LOUD BEEP) 382 00:15:09,777 --> 00:15:11,402 -RYAN: Gah... -(IRIS LAUGHS) 383 00:15:11,485 --> 00:15:12,985 -(CLEARS THROAT) -Now, honey, 384 00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:14,360 I have an update for you, 385 00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:17,485 and I don't want you to go all flappy on me. 386 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:18,860 FRANK KELLY: Okay... 387 00:15:18,944 --> 00:15:20,902 The ship is leaking oxygen. 388 00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:22,026 From what I understand, 389 00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,527 it will be like drowning with dirt in your mouth 390 00:15:24,610 --> 00:15:25,860 and a tractor on your chest. 391 00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:27,694 Okay. 392 00:15:28,902 --> 00:15:30,860 -That's fine. -(DRINK POURING) 393 00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:33,485 (QUIETLY) Fuck. 394 00:15:34,318 --> 00:15:37,068 (SOBBING) 395 00:15:37,151 --> 00:15:39,902 Sorry. I'm sorry. It's only oxygen. 396 00:15:39,985 --> 00:15:41,193 KAREN: All right. 397 00:15:41,276 --> 00:15:42,360 So don't talk, 398 00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:45,068 because then you will last marginally longer. 399 00:15:45,151 --> 00:15:45,985 Attaboy. 400 00:15:46,068 --> 00:15:47,944 Okay, guys, I think we're on. Yeah. 401 00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:50,819 And we don't have long with her, and it could get a little bit glitchy. 402 00:15:50,902 --> 00:15:52,235 RAV: (THROUGH SPEAKER) Hello-- speaking-- Hello? 403 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,777 (AUDIO GLITCHING) Great. Hi! I-- start speaking. 404 00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:55,443 I'm gonna start speaking before-- get cut off. 405 00:15:55,527 --> 00:15:57,819 I have some good news and some not so good news. 406 00:15:57,902 --> 00:16:01,068 The good news is... we have funding! 407 00:16:01,151 --> 00:16:03,777 Yay! Come on! (LAUGHS) 408 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,610 Wh-- What was that? What did she-- 409 00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:08,402 -She said they had funding. -BILLIE: Shush! Yes, yes, shush! -The not so good news is 410 00:16:08,485 --> 00:16:11,318 the Other President suggested we explore losing... 411 00:16:11,402 --> 00:16:14,193 (LAUGHS) ...500 NEPs, but I rejected that, 412 00:16:14,276 --> 00:16:18,318 I said, "No, we are not killing 500 people, not today!" 413 00:16:18,402 --> 00:16:20,360 (GLITCHING) Other President sug-- we explore 414 00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:22,652 losing 500 NEPs-- (SILENCE) 415 00:16:22,735 --> 00:16:25,068 BILLIE: Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. No, no, no! No! 416 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,944 -No, now Earth is the other side of Jupiter. -(RYAN SIGHS) 417 00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:30,860 -What's NEPs? -Non-essential personnel, like-- 418 00:16:30,944 --> 00:16:33,694 -Mm-- Mm-mm. -RYAN: Okay. That is not on the table. 419 00:16:33,777 --> 00:16:37,610 We are not getting rid of 500 non-essential personnel. 420 00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:38,985 My hands always get clammy 421 00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,944 whenever I shower in a strange room. 422 00:16:41,026 --> 00:16:42,151 -(LOUD BEEP) -Fuck you, Doug! 423 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,819 -RYAN: How are you here? -Yeah, what the actual frig? 424 00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:47,235 Are you wearing Frank's clothes? 425 00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:48,568 -Two sugars? -Yeah. 426 00:16:48,652 --> 00:16:51,360 DOUG: I have just been ordered homeless by Herman Judd, 427 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:53,318 so I no longer have access to a bathroom. 428 00:16:53,402 --> 00:16:55,235 Oh, great. You see this, Frank? 429 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,193 He's using you as a toilet friend. 430 00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:58,610 DOUG: Are you guys seriously considering 431 00:16:58,694 --> 00:17:00,360 getting rid of 500 passengers? 432 00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:03,110 No, and you are not gonna say it out there. All right? 433 00:17:03,193 --> 00:17:04,652 And you're particularly not gonna say it 434 00:17:04,735 --> 00:17:06,318 -in front of Herman Judd. -(LOUD BEEP) -(IRIS LAUGHS) 435 00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:09,110 -RYAN: Oh, you-- monotonal fuck! -Fuck you, Doug! 436 00:17:14,193 --> 00:17:16,777 -(LOUD BEEP) -Good morning, everyone! 437 00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,819 We finally have a baby name. 438 00:17:19,402 --> 00:17:20,443 Kayden! 439 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,026 -Kayden? -That's an asshole name! 440 00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:28,360 Okay, it's just a word. 441 00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:30,318 IRIS: And you're an asshole, asshole. 442 00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:33,568 -Oh, you. -Doug. 443 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:35,318 You look different. Fatter, maybe? 444 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,568 No, it's probably just my spirit swelling 445 00:17:37,652 --> 00:17:40,485 -now that I'm not with you. -(CHUCKLES) 446 00:17:40,568 --> 00:17:43,068 -Hey, you're hiding something. -I don't know what you're talking about. 447 00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:45,235 I know that, Doug, that's your factory setting. 448 00:17:45,318 --> 00:17:47,527 Actually, I-- I have been made privy to something. 449 00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:49,068 Okay, so you know about 450 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,819 -the oxygen. -The passengers. 451 00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:52,235 -Oxygen? -The shortage. 452 00:17:52,318 --> 00:17:53,735 -There's a shortage of air? -Yes! 453 00:17:53,819 --> 00:17:55,485 -Holy fuck! Are you kid-- -Okay, okay-- 454 00:17:55,568 --> 00:17:56,944 -Oh, my God, are you serious? -Stop panicking. 455 00:17:57,026 --> 00:17:59,026 This is when one panics! We are running out of air 456 00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:01,360 and they're shooting 500 passengers out of the airlock. 457 00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:02,402 -What? -Yes! 458 00:18:02,485 --> 00:18:04,110 The airlock? Oh, my God! Oh, my fucking God! 459 00:18:04,193 --> 00:18:05,402 -That's horrible. -This is panicking! 460 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,068 -Why can you panic and I can't-- -I'm not panicking! 461 00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:09,652 -Yeah, neither was I! -Then stop and lower your voice! 462 00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:10,902 Fine. 463 00:18:11,026 --> 00:18:14,610 Also, the captain is speaking in that British voice-- 464 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,402 -Yeah, I heard that. -All right, listen, fucker, 465 00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:20,110 if they start suggesting names of passengers, 466 00:18:20,193 --> 00:18:21,652 let's not suggest each other, all right? 467 00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:23,235 -That's actually a really good-- -Okay, fine. 468 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:24,443 -Good plan. -All right. 469 00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:25,777 (SCOFFS) Put your hard-on away. 470 00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:27,568 This is purely self-preservation. 471 00:18:27,652 --> 00:18:28,944 Yeah, I think the same thing. 472 00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:29,944 -Great. -All right, see you l-- 473 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,276 -See you around. -Okay. See you never. 474 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,777 -Come on. -(LOUD BEEP) 475 00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:34,902 -Fuck you! -No, fuck you, Doug! 476 00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:37,694 Do you wanna-- 477 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,026 Okay, Matt, uh... (SIGHS) 478 00:18:45,568 --> 00:18:46,485 (LOUD BEEP) 479 00:18:46,568 --> 00:18:48,235 Uh, I-- I, um... 480 00:18:48,318 --> 00:18:50,276 -I need you to hook me up. -MATT: What do you need? 481 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,193 Synthetic veal? Porno? Mint jelly? 482 00:18:52,276 --> 00:18:53,735 All of them, if you can. 483 00:18:53,819 --> 00:18:56,151 -(CHUCKLES) Jesus! -But first, I-- I, uh... 484 00:18:56,235 --> 00:19:00,610 I actually want lots and lots and lots of sedatives. 485 00:19:00,694 --> 00:19:03,985 Look, my area of expertise is pretty limited. 486 00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:06,610 It's basically recreational barbiturates, 487 00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:09,860 Eastern sex practices, Christmas music. 488 00:19:09,944 --> 00:19:13,777 But I do know suffering, and you're suffering. 489 00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:16,652 So I just need a little bit more information to make sure 490 00:19:16,735 --> 00:19:19,777 I'm not causing more harm than I'm fixing. 491 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,610 -I was bullied at school. -Was it your ears? 492 00:19:23,694 --> 00:19:24,944 What? No. What do you mean? 493 00:19:25,026 --> 00:19:26,235 -What's wrong with my ears? -Nothing. 494 00:19:26,318 --> 00:19:28,944 But that is what I would go in on, if I was bullying you. 495 00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:30,151 I'd make you self-conscious 496 00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:31,652 about something that isn't even a thing 497 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,735 because it makes you question your sanity. 498 00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:36,944 Ain't that right, you jar-eared Dumbo fuck? 499 00:19:38,151 --> 00:19:39,694 -It's brutal. -I-- Yeah-- Mm. 500 00:19:39,777 --> 00:19:42,652 You're right, I hate my ears. Yeah. 501 00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:43,944 -Sedatives? -I mean, look at you. 502 00:19:44,026 --> 00:19:45,860 You're like a gimp on a leash right now. 503 00:19:45,944 --> 00:19:47,694 -Mm-hmm. -You'd do anything for these drugs. 504 00:19:47,777 --> 00:19:49,527 -Anything. -And if I don't give 'em to you, 505 00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,402 you're probably gonna go below decks... 506 00:19:51,485 --> 00:19:52,735 and get them from the guys down there. 507 00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:54,694 But you're gonna have to sexually humiliate yourself. 508 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,193 You are so good. You're right. 509 00:19:56,276 --> 00:19:58,860 I was this close to going down there and... 510 00:19:58,944 --> 00:20:00,485 showing someone my bottom. 511 00:20:01,652 --> 00:20:03,026 (LOUD BEEP) 512 00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:04,443 (HEAVY SIGH) 513 00:20:06,819 --> 00:20:10,026 Well, I... I got the, um, the sleeping... 514 00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:12,318 -Oh. -Yeah. Take two of these, 515 00:20:12,402 --> 00:20:14,527 it's like you've died and gone to the opera. 516 00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:15,735 BILLIE: All right, so give me one 517 00:20:15,819 --> 00:20:18,652 because I'm so tired that my hair hurts me. 518 00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:21,151 (YAWNS) Oh, no. These are for, um... 519 00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:24,318 what's the-- who's the guy who runs Judd Industries? 520 00:20:24,402 --> 00:20:25,902 -BOTH: Judd. -RYAN: Yes. 521 00:20:25,985 --> 00:20:30,360 So, apparently, even, uh, Space Baby can't sleep. 522 00:20:30,443 --> 00:20:31,985 Respectfully, fuck him. 523 00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:34,402 No, seriously, 'cause he's-- he's in an incubator, 524 00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,235 those things are soundproofed to balls. 525 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:39,193 I'll take the sedatives, and I'll go Judd drug. 526 00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:42,276 No, Karen, you will kill him. There's a difference. 527 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,985 Okay, so you two give me the, um... 528 00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:49,694 them things, and then I'll go... 529 00:20:50,318 --> 00:20:51,318 What? 530 00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:52,735 I'll go to-- Who they for? 531 00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,443 -(LOUD BEEP) -(KAREN GROANS) 532 00:20:54,527 --> 00:20:56,485 -I'll take them. I'll take-- -Oh, no, no, Billie, Billie, no-- 533 00:20:56,568 --> 00:20:59,276 -Yeah, but I'm gonna give them-- -Billie, give them to me. -Okay-- 534 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,443 Oh, look, it's the king! 535 00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:01,860 -Where? -A-ha! 536 00:21:01,944 --> 00:21:05,026 In your face, you and-- and the other one. 537 00:21:05,110 --> 00:21:07,068 Okay. Michele's an engineer, 538 00:21:07,151 --> 00:21:08,360 you tell him exactly what you want. 539 00:21:08,443 --> 00:21:10,860 -Get as technical as you like. -JUDD: Okay. 540 00:21:11,777 --> 00:21:12,610 Michele, huh? 541 00:21:12,694 --> 00:21:14,485 I don't like boys with girls' names. 542 00:21:14,568 --> 00:21:15,694 Okay, so... 543 00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:22,360 We fire the glitter at the turds as we turn the lasers on? 544 00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:25,360 Or... sequins. 545 00:21:25,443 --> 00:21:31,443 Maybe sequin bombs that we make from degradable plastics, 546 00:21:31,527 --> 00:21:34,902 and then shoot them at the turds. 547 00:21:34,985 --> 00:21:39,193 I'm thinking six every two minutes, 548 00:21:39,276 --> 00:21:42,068 to ensure a steady shimmer. 549 00:21:42,151 --> 00:21:45,485 Then glitter, then confetti, 550 00:21:45,568 --> 00:21:50,276 then, maybe, fairy lights, if we all feel we've earned it. 551 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:51,985 Okay, read it back to me. 552 00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:53,151 Let's make a sex tape! 553 00:21:53,235 --> 00:21:54,860 Get out of my line of sight. 554 00:21:54,944 --> 00:21:57,443 (JINGLE PINGS) 555 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:00,735 -(EXHALES) -MATT: Action. 556 00:22:01,694 --> 00:22:04,068 Herman Judd here, with a brief word. 557 00:22:04,151 --> 00:22:06,735 Indeed, all of our words must now be brief. 558 00:22:06,819 --> 00:22:09,443 That is because we're running out of breathable air. 559 00:22:09,527 --> 00:22:11,151 (ALL GASP) 560 00:22:11,235 --> 00:22:13,944 I had intended to ease into that one. 561 00:22:14,026 --> 00:22:17,527 We will plug this leak. But until we do, 562 00:22:17,610 --> 00:22:19,985 you must remain breathing steadily 563 00:22:20,068 --> 00:22:22,860 to minimize all oxygen usage. 564 00:22:22,944 --> 00:22:26,652 And cut out all unnecessary conversation. 565 00:22:26,735 --> 00:22:29,026 No sighing, no gasping, 566 00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:32,318 no unnecessary sneezing, no flouncing. 567 00:22:32,402 --> 00:22:34,735 If you have to be passive aggressive, 568 00:22:34,819 --> 00:22:36,568 do it only with your eyes. 569 00:22:37,985 --> 00:22:39,193 Relax. 570 00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,652 -(LOUD BEEP) -JUDD: Iris! 571 00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,985 No, no, no, wait. This is recorded. That's... 572 00:22:43,068 --> 00:22:44,151 that's not the actual beep. 573 00:22:44,235 --> 00:22:46,860 -JUDD: But do remain breathing calmly. 574 00:22:46,944 --> 00:22:49,527 -(LOUD BEEP) -That's the actual beep. 575 00:22:49,610 --> 00:22:52,610 That is now a legal requirement. 576 00:22:53,652 --> 00:22:54,735 Thanks, gang. 577 00:22:57,527 --> 00:22:59,151 (QUIETLY) Okay, I'm gonna tell a joke now. 578 00:22:59,235 --> 00:23:01,777 The setup is that there are three men 579 00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:04,110 of three different nationalities. 580 00:23:04,193 --> 00:23:05,443 I won't tell you which nationalities, 581 00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:07,235 'cause otherwise you might find it amusing. 582 00:23:07,318 --> 00:23:09,360 The punchline is that one of the men in the joke 583 00:23:09,443 --> 00:23:10,819 is considerably more parsimonious 584 00:23:10,902 --> 00:23:13,193 than the other two men in the joke. 585 00:23:13,276 --> 00:23:14,777 Thus concludes the joke. 586 00:23:15,568 --> 00:23:17,151 That was not funny. 587 00:23:18,485 --> 00:23:19,985 Here it comes. 588 00:23:20,944 --> 00:23:22,360 -(LOUD BEEP) -(CHUCKLES) 589 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,110 JUDD: Iris! 590 00:23:25,694 --> 00:23:27,527 (WHISPERING) As I walk up, there's these cars 591 00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:29,276 falling out of the bed. It was just-- 592 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:31,485 What is the nature of this conversation? 593 00:23:31,568 --> 00:23:33,902 Uh, I'm just talking about my grandchildren. 594 00:23:33,985 --> 00:23:35,902 Would you classify it as essential? 595 00:23:35,985 --> 00:23:37,527 News flash: it isn't. 596 00:23:39,235 --> 00:23:41,610 Okay, now I'm gonna do some oxygen-efficient banter 597 00:23:41,694 --> 00:23:42,777 with the audience. 598 00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:44,860 -Ma'am, where are you from? -Utah. 599 00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:47,777 That's nice. 600 00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,860 (WHISPERING) You are banal as shit. 601 00:23:52,694 --> 00:23:53,694 (LOUD BEEP) 602 00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:57,485 -♪ (SAXOPHONE PLAYING) ♪ -(LOUD BEEP) 603 00:23:57,568 --> 00:23:59,485 I hear ya, honey. 604 00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:01,985 -♪ (SAXOPHONE RESUMES) ♪ -Shoehorns are weird, aren't they? 605 00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:05,402 Thus concludes the shoehorns section. 606 00:24:05,985 --> 00:24:07,026 Thank you. 607 00:24:10,402 --> 00:24:11,735 (LOUD BEEP) 608 00:24:15,402 --> 00:24:16,443 (WHISPERING) I thought I'd set up-- 609 00:24:16,527 --> 00:24:18,068 (WHISPERING) I can't-- I can't. I'm sorry. 610 00:24:19,151 --> 00:24:21,735 I said, I thought I'd set up in a space 611 00:24:21,819 --> 00:24:23,610 where everyone feels welcome. 612 00:24:23,694 --> 00:24:25,527 In God's office? 613 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:28,026 Jesus, Vishnu, Allah, Karen Kelly. 614 00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:31,235 (CHUCKLES) I think I have a ways to go just yet. 615 00:24:31,318 --> 00:24:32,360 -RYAN: Sedatives. -KAREN: Oh-- 616 00:24:32,443 --> 00:24:33,819 JUDD: (WHISPERING) Ryan! 617 00:24:33,902 --> 00:24:37,318 Get ready to have your butt and/or ball blown off. 618 00:24:37,402 --> 00:24:40,402 (WHISPERING) Mr. Judd is about to perform his first miracle. 619 00:24:40,485 --> 00:24:43,610 We're gonna sparklify the Halo of Crud. 620 00:24:43,694 --> 00:24:44,944 (LOUD BEEP) 621 00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:47,485 IRIS: (WHISPERING LOUDLY) I have an update. 622 00:24:47,568 --> 00:24:51,151 Space Baby has jaundice. He's on a respirator. 623 00:24:51,235 --> 00:24:53,985 Jaundice? Somebody's got a weak liver. 624 00:24:54,068 --> 00:24:55,193 -Is he okay? -IRIS: He's fine, 625 00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:57,276 just laying there with his oxygen mask. 626 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:58,485 Greedy little fuck. 627 00:24:58,568 --> 00:25:01,235 Yeah! There's my girl. Welcome back. Missed you, girl. 628 00:25:01,318 --> 00:25:04,110 (LOUDLY) Yeah, fuck Space Baby, stealing all our oxygen. 629 00:25:04,193 --> 00:25:06,068 (WHISPERING) Who's stealing the oxygen? What's going on? 630 00:25:06,151 --> 00:25:07,485 WOMAN 1: We just heard the news. 631 00:25:07,568 --> 00:25:08,819 Oh, shit. They told you? 632 00:25:08,902 --> 00:25:10,694 About the 500 NEPs they're shooting into space? 633 00:25:10,777 --> 00:25:12,360 -What? Doug, what are you doing? -(CROWD CLAMORS) 634 00:25:12,443 --> 00:25:14,026 -You're such an idiot. -I'm whispering so we're-- 635 00:25:14,110 --> 00:25:16,026 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -Shh, shh, shh-- 636 00:25:16,110 --> 00:25:17,819 (SHOUTS IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Quiet! 637 00:25:17,902 --> 00:25:19,944 You... chattering... 638 00:25:20,485 --> 00:25:21,860 fucks! 639 00:25:21,944 --> 00:25:22,902 (SOFTLY) Can you hear me? 640 00:25:22,985 --> 00:25:24,110 -Yes. -I can. 641 00:25:24,193 --> 00:25:26,193 -What about now? -Yes. It was the same. 642 00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:27,276 (WHISPERS) What about now? 643 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,318 -Too low. -Too low. 644 00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:29,443 Okay, I'll go up. 645 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,151 -(FRANK SNEEZES) -RYAN: Bless you. 646 00:25:31,235 --> 00:25:32,819 -(SNEEZES) -DOUG: Oxygen-- 647 00:25:32,902 --> 00:25:34,026 -(COUGHS) -MAN 2: Fuck! 648 00:25:34,110 --> 00:25:35,276 Shut up, Frank! 649 00:25:36,860 --> 00:25:38,026 -Now that you have-- -(SNEEZES) 650 00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,985 -DOUG: Guys. Please. Guys. -Oh, my God. 651 00:25:40,068 --> 00:25:41,610 DOUG: That's like a full tank. 652 00:25:43,735 --> 00:25:46,360 You have to think before you speak. 653 00:25:46,443 --> 00:25:47,819 And then, think again. 654 00:25:47,902 --> 00:25:50,276 And then think, "I shouldn't speak." 655 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,694 And then, don't speak. 656 00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:54,819 -(LOUD BEEP) -Iris! 657 00:25:54,902 --> 00:25:56,068 -Fuck you, Doug! -Hey, you. 658 00:25:56,151 --> 00:25:57,402 What are NEPs? 659 00:25:57,485 --> 00:25:59,235 They're non-essential personnel. 660 00:25:59,318 --> 00:26:00,610 -MAN 3: What?! -I-- 661 00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:04,110 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Iris, will you shut the fuck up? 662 00:26:04,193 --> 00:26:07,110 Is it true? You're just gonna kill 500 passengers? 663 00:26:07,193 --> 00:26:08,985 Why wasn't I notified? 664 00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:11,360 Was I notified? 665 00:26:11,443 --> 00:26:12,652 When was I notified? 666 00:26:12,735 --> 00:26:15,652 Who are you to determine who is essential? 667 00:26:15,735 --> 00:26:19,193 I can't go. I'm the only radiologist in outer space. 668 00:26:19,276 --> 00:26:20,902 Darrell, I'm standing right here! 669 00:26:20,985 --> 00:26:23,777 We've been colleagues for years! 670 00:26:23,860 --> 00:26:25,860 (WHISPERING) It's not an oxygen beep. 671 00:26:25,944 --> 00:26:28,235 (LAUGHING) It's not an oxygen beep! 672 00:26:28,318 --> 00:26:30,902 I checked all the tanks, and the beeping 673 00:26:31,026 --> 00:26:34,402 is the ship telling us to recalibrate for the baby. 674 00:26:34,485 --> 00:26:36,610 -(KAREN GASPS) -There's an extra passenger. 675 00:26:36,694 --> 00:26:38,110 It needs to recalibrate. 676 00:26:38,193 --> 00:26:39,110 There's no oxygen-- 677 00:26:39,193 --> 00:26:40,402 SPIKE: That would be the other reason. 678 00:26:40,485 --> 00:26:41,860 -MAN 4: Oh, my-- -What, you-- you didn't 679 00:26:41,944 --> 00:26:44,193 -rule that out already, huh? -Shut up, Spike. 680 00:26:44,276 --> 00:26:46,235 BILLIE: There is air. There is enough air 681 00:26:46,318 --> 00:26:49,402 for maybe some of you to thank me. I'm Billie. 682 00:26:49,485 --> 00:26:50,568 (LOUDLY) We have air? 683 00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,777 -Yeah, we have air. -So we can shout? 684 00:26:52,860 --> 00:26:54,360 If you want to, I guess, yes. 685 00:26:54,443 --> 00:26:55,944 (SHOUTING) You guys were trying to kill us! 686 00:26:56,026 --> 00:26:57,527 Yeah, you had a list going! Guess what? 687 00:26:57,610 --> 00:26:59,110 Now we're gonna make a fucking list! 688 00:26:59,193 --> 00:27:01,360 -And you all... -I don't even care about names, 689 00:27:01,443 --> 00:27:02,568 I just want blood. 690 00:27:02,652 --> 00:27:04,777 And... light 'em up! 691 00:27:04,860 --> 00:27:06,610 -♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(ALL GASP) 692 00:27:06,694 --> 00:27:08,944 -MAN 5: Oh, my... -WOMAN 2: Oh! 693 00:27:09,026 --> 00:27:10,485 RYAN: Wow. 694 00:27:10,568 --> 00:27:12,568 Oh, my God, it's beautiful! 695 00:27:14,068 --> 00:27:15,360 BILLIE: It is beautiful. 696 00:27:16,485 --> 00:27:18,318 Until you really think about it. 697 00:27:18,402 --> 00:27:21,151 Who knew shit could be so enchanting? 698 00:27:21,235 --> 00:27:23,944 Me. I did. I knew. 699 00:27:24,026 --> 00:27:28,360 He's transformed the most disgusting thing imaginable 700 00:27:28,443 --> 00:27:32,360 into a kaleidoscope of butt truffles! 701 00:27:32,443 --> 00:27:35,735 Well, you gotta say, he knows his audience. 702 00:27:35,819 --> 00:27:38,735 So... he lives. For tonight. 703 00:27:38,819 --> 00:27:40,193 RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT) Okay, it's over. 704 00:27:40,276 --> 00:27:41,527 The nightmare is over. 705 00:27:41,610 --> 00:27:44,360 This-- this part of the nightmare is over. 706 00:27:44,443 --> 00:27:47,318 (DOUG AND MIA ARGUING) 707 00:27:47,402 --> 00:27:49,193 MATT: Congratulations. 708 00:27:49,276 --> 00:27:51,652 Why don't you give yourself a little pat on the back, 709 00:27:51,735 --> 00:27:53,235 or the ass? 710 00:27:53,318 --> 00:27:56,360 Give your ass a little squeeze, and then... 711 00:27:56,443 --> 00:27:59,026 go make love to yourself in a sleazy motel. 712 00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:00,110 (GRUNTS) 713 00:28:00,944 --> 00:28:02,026 You earned it. 714 00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:03,360 You're really fucking weird, dude. 715 00:28:03,443 --> 00:28:04,985 I don't wanna do these hangouts anymore. 716 00:28:05,068 --> 00:28:06,527 They make me kinda sick. 717 00:28:06,610 --> 00:28:08,777 -That's okay. -JUDD: No, it isn't. 718 00:28:11,902 --> 00:28:13,944 -(IRIS SIGHS) -(JUDD GRUNTS) 719 00:28:16,610 --> 00:28:19,235 Your ears are beautiful. 720 00:28:20,110 --> 00:28:21,110 To me. 721 00:28:23,235 --> 00:28:25,944 It's the most plausible he's looked in weeks. 722 00:28:32,860 --> 00:28:34,944 I'm gonna miss talking to ya, sweetie. 723 00:28:43,068 --> 00:28:46,151 -(SNORING) -♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 54203

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