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1
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Captain needs to locate
the lateral access valve.
2
00:00:08,735 --> 00:00:09,652
BILLIE MCEVOY:
Don't worry, Captain!
3
00:00:09,735 --> 00:00:11,026
-(STARTLED)
-You got this!
4
00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,777
-(WHISPERS) I've got this.
-(BOTH GRUNT)
5
00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:14,652
-That's it.
-Oh, bugger me!
6
00:00:14,735 --> 00:00:16,068
Oh no!
7
00:00:16,777 --> 00:00:18,026
♪ (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
8
00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,652
(CROWDS CHEERING)
9
00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:20,527
Get me a car to Buffalo.
10
00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:21,735
You're going to the White House?
11
00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:23,610
Oh, yes! Time to do
some corporate begging.
12
00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:24,610
ALAN LEWIS: Oh!
13
00:00:24,902 --> 00:00:26,860
-(APPLAUSE)
-RYAN CLARK: Oh, hey! Come on.
14
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:27,819
I was just doing my job.
15
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,568
Just did what we had to do.
16
00:00:29,652 --> 00:00:30,902
I did what I had to do.
17
00:00:30,985 --> 00:00:32,026
HERMAN JUDD:
It's getting thicker!
18
00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:34,443
-This is your fault.
-It's Frank's fault!
19
00:00:34,527 --> 00:00:36,443
-He hit the big brown buttons.
-KAREN KELLY: Frank!
20
00:00:36,527 --> 00:00:37,860
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Ship him out!
21
00:00:37,944 --> 00:00:38,902
Frank! Frank!
22
00:00:38,985 --> 00:00:41,360
CLARK: Calm,
and I cannot stress this enough,
23
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:42,944
the fuck down!
24
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,485
These people
are humanity's finest,
25
00:00:45,568 --> 00:00:47,193
-and they need--
-(RAUCOUS CHATTER)
26
00:00:47,276 --> 00:00:48,985
AIDE:
The president will see you now.
27
00:00:49,068 --> 00:00:49,985
Great.
28
00:00:57,151 --> 00:00:59,318
RYAN CLARK: (ENGLISH ACCENT) He
nearly got Frank space-lynched,
29
00:00:59,402 --> 00:01:01,235
so what are we gonna do
about Judd?
30
00:01:01,318 --> 00:01:03,735
(SCOFFS) Two options.
31
00:01:03,819 --> 00:01:06,568
One, murder. And two,
32
00:01:06,652 --> 00:01:08,860
and I know I keep
looping back to this...
33
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:09,735
murder.
34
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,652
You keep saying that word,
Karen.
35
00:01:11,735 --> 00:01:14,151
You keep saying it.
36
00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:16,860
Okay, can you please
just let me fix your door?
37
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,902
No.
I'm going to do this myself.
38
00:01:18,985 --> 00:01:22,193
I may be a fake and a fraud
and a terrible lay
39
00:01:22,276 --> 00:01:24,151
and a credit risk
and a tax-dodger
40
00:01:24,235 --> 00:01:25,568
and an emotional homunculus,
41
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,443
but I am still a useful,
functioning--
42
00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:30,110
Actually, can you do this?
43
00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,235
-Yeah.
-RYAN: Yeah.
44
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,110
-(GASPS) Baby!
-RYAN: What?
45
00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:35,485
A passenger has just gone
into labor.
46
00:01:35,568 --> 00:01:37,110
-There's gonna be a baby!
-BILLIE MCEVOY: Whoa!
47
00:01:37,193 --> 00:01:38,652
Holy shit! We're having a baby?
48
00:01:38,735 --> 00:01:40,193
-Mr. Judd's in there.
-Why?
49
00:01:40,276 --> 00:01:42,652
He's, quote,
"executive producing" the birth.
50
00:01:43,985 --> 00:01:45,610
-Here.
-Yeah, yeah, leave it with me.
51
00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:47,068
(DOOR CLATTERS)
52
00:01:47,151 --> 00:01:48,777
(KAREN KELLY SIGHS)
53
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,151
-I'm fine. Yeah.
-KAREN: You all right?
54
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,360
That's it, come on!
Get it out of her!
55
00:01:52,443 --> 00:01:54,276
-(CRYING)
-That's it. Hey! Hey!
56
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,860
Vacuum extraction! My idea!
We're gonna suck a person
57
00:01:57,944 --> 00:01:59,652
-out of this person!
-BILLIE: Yeah.
58
00:01:59,735 --> 00:02:00,944
-(HANNAH SCREAMS)
-Let's go!
59
00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:02,860
MATT SPENCER: God,
the baby is going from a womb
60
00:02:02,944 --> 00:02:04,276
surrounded by bodily fluids
61
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,402
to a ship surrounded
by bodily solids.
62
00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:07,902
Where did you come from,
eyeballs?
63
00:02:07,985 --> 00:02:09,985
Originally? Pennsylvania.
64
00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:11,151
Before the fires.
65
00:02:11,235 --> 00:02:14,151
-(HANNAH SCREAMS)
-HERMAN JUDD: Whoa!
66
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,902
(BABY CRIES)
67
00:02:17,026 --> 00:02:18,985
-I'll cut the string.
-Cord.
68
00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:21,318
MATT: Full Hakuna Matata!
69
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,568
-JUDD: There we go. Hey...
-(LOUD BEEP)
70
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:26,485
I'm gonna keep the placenta.
Fair's fair.
71
00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:29,235
Have this snap frozen.
Landmark human tissue.
72
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,193
-MATT: You fucking killed it.
-HANNAH: What?
73
00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:34,777
-JUDD: Oh...
-MATT: Like, I'm smiling.
74
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:36,777
You killed it, like...
(CHUCKLES)
75
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:37,735
It's a baby.
76
00:02:37,819 --> 00:02:39,276
Yeah, it's really--
It's a good one.
77
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,193
-(BABY GURGLING)
-(LOUD BEEP)
78
00:02:43,568 --> 00:02:46,443
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
79
00:02:53,902 --> 00:02:55,443
People of Avenue 5,
80
00:02:55,527 --> 00:02:57,735
I bring you tidings
of great joy.
81
00:02:57,819 --> 00:03:01,193
At 1105 hours today,
we welcomed
82
00:03:01,276 --> 00:03:04,193
-the first ever bab--
-The first baby born in space!
83
00:03:04,276 --> 00:03:05,443
(CHEERING)
84
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,694
-Oh, I'm so sorry, did you--
-It's fine.
85
00:03:07,777 --> 00:03:09,527
-I just really wanted to say it.
-I'm so sorry.
86
00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:12,735
You know, I sometimes have this
terrible case of Karen Mouth
87
00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:15,193
-and, you know...
-(LOUD BEEP)
88
00:03:15,276 --> 00:03:16,652
MIA: What's the name?
89
00:03:16,735 --> 00:03:18,276
Oh, now she's interested
in babies.
90
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,860
No name as yet.
Current alias, AKA Space Baby.
91
00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,151
-A beautiful...
-Baby boy! (CHUCKLES)
92
00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:24,819
-little baby b--
-Baby boy!
93
00:03:24,902 --> 00:03:26,276
-(CHUCKLES)
-(CROWD CHEERS)
94
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,026
I did it again! You know
what it was?
95
00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,360
'Cause you said "little," so--
96
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,985
and I just went straight
to "baby boy,"
97
00:03:32,068 --> 00:03:33,902
so I got there first,
otherwise we would've--
98
00:03:33,985 --> 00:03:35,568
Is that it?
Or is it your Karen Mouth
99
00:03:35,652 --> 00:03:36,902
-that you can't shut?
-(LOUD BEEP)
100
00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:40,151
What is that?
Why is the ship beeping?
101
00:03:40,235 --> 00:03:43,360
You know-- and this has
never happened before--
102
00:03:44,026 --> 00:03:45,318
I don't actually know.
103
00:03:45,402 --> 00:03:46,485
MAN 1: What does he look like?
104
00:03:46,568 --> 00:03:49,360
-Oh, he is adora--
-Adora--
105
00:03:49,443 --> 00:03:51,527
What is your damage?
106
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,819
-We need to sort this--
-Yeah, Captain, I'm on it.
107
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,151
(LOUD BEEP)
108
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,610
Presumably, it's a warning
of some kind.
109
00:03:57,694 --> 00:03:59,735
Well, yes, you don't usually
have a recurring beep
110
00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:01,485
to tell you
everything's going just fine.
111
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,652
-(LOUD BEEP)
-RYAN: It's down here.
112
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,568
Some-- It's somewhere...
113
00:04:07,652 --> 00:04:08,694
(LOUD BEEP)
114
00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:11,819
-(LOUD BEEP)
-RYAN: No, it's... it's...
115
00:04:12,443 --> 00:04:13,610
(LOUD BEEP)
116
00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:15,068
RYAN: No, it's not up here.
117
00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:17,527
Man, they really love
that baby, huh?
118
00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,735
Yeah, babies are like
New Zealanders.
119
00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:22,610
Everyone loves them
and the funny way they talk.
120
00:04:22,694 --> 00:04:25,235
-Oh, there's Iris.
-See that? See that?
121
00:04:25,318 --> 00:04:27,443
She never looks at me like that.
122
00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,568
She never gives me that look.
123
00:04:29,652 --> 00:04:31,694
(SUCKS TEETH) Funny.
124
00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:33,985
-Are you hurting?
-Hmm?
125
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,694
Is that baby hurting you?
126
00:04:39,402 --> 00:04:40,485
MATT: Yeah?
127
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:45,985
(SIGHS) Face it.
They prefer that baby to me.
128
00:04:47,026 --> 00:04:48,735
Baby gives them hope.
129
00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:52,276
All I give them
is shitty-yuck-yuck.
130
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,318
(SIGHS) Not that
it's a competition.
131
00:04:55,402 --> 00:04:56,985
Judd versus Baby.
132
00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,985
But if it were,
I'd destroy that baby.
133
00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:02,652
Physically, emotionally,
endurance-wise.
134
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:03,819
I'd finish that baby
135
00:05:03,902 --> 00:05:06,276
before he could get past
the first month.
136
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,819
It wouldn't even be
a fair contest.
137
00:05:07,902 --> 00:05:10,110
One shot to the soft spot,
that baby's down for the count.
138
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:12,402
Yeah, it wouldn't have
the upper body strength.
139
00:05:12,944 --> 00:05:14,235
(LOUD BEEP)
140
00:05:14,318 --> 00:05:18,235
Captain? Captain.
Uh, the ship is beeping.
141
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,110
And I can tell you why.
I'm going to cover my mouth...
142
00:05:21,193 --> 00:05:23,860
(MUFFLED) because this
could cause mass distress.
143
00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:27,443
It's an oxygen beep.
Uh, we've got a leak.
144
00:05:29,735 --> 00:05:31,568
-Well-- I mean, that--
-Billie? Billie?
145
00:05:31,652 --> 00:05:33,777
I don't know
what else it could be,
146
00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:35,485
and maybe he's right?
147
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,402
-I-- I-- I just--
-We need oxygen!
148
00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,819
-I love oxygen!
-Captain, your mouth.
149
00:05:38,902 --> 00:05:40,485
-Cover your fucking mouth.
-RYAN: Billie?
150
00:05:40,568 --> 00:05:42,527
Well, hopefully it's just one--
151
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:43,652
Hopefully, it's just
152
00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,110
-one leaking tank...
-RYAN: Okay.
153
00:05:45,193 --> 00:05:47,819
BILLIE: ...but if the recycling
system's screwed, then...
154
00:05:47,902 --> 00:05:48,902
so are we.
155
00:05:48,985 --> 00:05:51,652
The running out of air,
is it as bad as they say?
156
00:05:51,735 --> 00:05:53,318
-Or not as bad?
-Yeah, it's bad.
157
00:05:53,402 --> 00:05:55,777
I mean, like, first you get,
like, a grittiness in your eyes,
158
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,151
then your tongue is literally
gonna boil in your mouth
159
00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:01,026
before you just pass out and you
just never wake up again.
160
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,026
SPIKE MARTIN:
Don't forget the organ failure.
161
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:05,485
Oh, I almost forgot
the organ failure.
162
00:06:05,568 --> 00:06:08,443
(SIGHS) I've just seen
my perfect Space Baby.
163
00:06:08,527 --> 00:06:09,985
Iris,
you should prepare to enjoy
164
00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:11,276
your last moments of happiness,
165
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,235
because we think
we may have an oxygen leak.
166
00:06:14,318 --> 00:06:15,568
-An oxygen leak?
-ALL: Shh!
167
00:06:15,652 --> 00:06:17,402
BILLIE: Freak out into your hand
and cover your mouth.
168
00:06:17,485 --> 00:06:19,276
-Do we have enough to get home?
-SPIKE: It depends.
169
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,652
Vigorous activity would
drain this turkey in no time.
170
00:06:22,735 --> 00:06:25,026
I'm talking exercise, singing,
171
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:27,151
lovemaking,
if you're doing it right.
172
00:06:27,235 --> 00:06:28,235
Ugh.
173
00:06:28,318 --> 00:06:29,860
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Hey! Hi there. Howdy.
174
00:06:29,944 --> 00:06:31,485
You keep greeting people
in triplicate,
175
00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:33,527
we'll be dead by Tuesday.
176
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,735
-Karen.
-KAREN: Hey.
177
00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:35,902
Why do you all look
so jumpy?
178
00:06:35,985 --> 00:06:40,068
We... have a leak.
We're running out of oxygen.
179
00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:42,235
-A leak?!
-(STIFLED MUTTERS)
180
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,568
What is this ship made of,
tin foil?
181
00:06:44,652 --> 00:06:46,193
-(SPIKE CHUCKLES)
-(LOUD BEEP)
182
00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:47,151
Hi, girl.
183
00:06:47,235 --> 00:06:48,735
I don't actually think
this is about
184
00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:50,568
that non-combat-ready baby.
185
00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:51,777
I think it's about
186
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:54,944
what your inner voice
is telling you about yourself.
187
00:06:55,026 --> 00:06:57,235
-What is it saying?
-The one I'm using now?
188
00:06:57,318 --> 00:06:58,735
No, the voice inside your head.
189
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:02,068
Oh, no, my thoughts connect
instantaneously with my mouth.
190
00:07:02,151 --> 00:07:03,443
It's extremely efficient.
191
00:07:03,527 --> 00:07:05,485
Clinically,
it's probably very unique.
192
00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:08,402
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(GRUNTS) Iris!
193
00:07:08,485 --> 00:07:10,694
MATT: Okay, how about this?
194
00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:12,151
(SIGHS)
195
00:07:12,235 --> 00:07:13,652
You need to change
the way they see you.
196
00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:16,151
You need to change the way
they see the shit.
197
00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:18,276
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
198
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,360
Wait...
199
00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:22,318
Are-- Are you...
200
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,485
Are you talking about...
201
00:07:25,568 --> 00:07:26,652
lasers?
202
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,610
Specifically...
203
00:07:31,694 --> 00:07:36,360
illuminating the ring
of nasty shit
204
00:07:36,443 --> 00:07:40,318
around the ship
with some goddamn lasers?
205
00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:42,902
-(LOUD BEEP)
-JUDD: Iris!
206
00:07:44,694 --> 00:07:47,318
-Miss Mulcair? (CLEARS THROAT)
-Hi.
207
00:07:47,402 --> 00:07:49,485
The President thanks you
for your visit,
208
00:07:49,568 --> 00:07:52,402
and I can confirm
we will be funding the rescue.
209
00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:53,985
(GASPS) Oh, knock me sideways!
210
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:57,318
That is like diving into
a bath of beans!
211
00:07:57,402 --> 00:07:59,819
Well, once you clear it
with the Other President,
212
00:07:59,902 --> 00:08:00,860
you are good to go!
213
00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:03,402
I'm sorry?
The Other President?
214
00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:06,193
I assumed the Other President
was already across this.
215
00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:08,068
We don't like to bother
the Other President
216
00:08:08,151 --> 00:08:09,610
unless
it's absolutely necessary.
217
00:08:09,694 --> 00:08:11,360
-No?
-So, if you could just slip on
218
00:08:11,443 --> 00:08:13,068
these electrostatic
shoe covers...
219
00:08:13,151 --> 00:08:15,985
-Right, okay, right.
-If we could just get a move on.
220
00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:19,902
Okay. Let's go and...
(CHUCKLES) ...do this!
221
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:25,193
♪ (SOMBER STRING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
222
00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:28,777
(LOUD BEEP)
223
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:32,944
(LOUD BEEP)
224
00:08:33,985 --> 00:08:35,318
(SIGHS)
225
00:08:35,402 --> 00:08:38,151
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(SIGHS)
226
00:08:39,193 --> 00:08:41,276
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(SCREAMS)
227
00:08:44,777 --> 00:08:46,777
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(HEAVY SIGH)
228
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,110
(LOUD BEEP)
229
00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:59,735
JUDD: Good morning and so forth.
Mm-hmm.
230
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:02,193
-Oh, Mr. Judd--
-JUDD: Great.
231
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:05,402
Shall we begin this meeting
forthwith heretofore, please?
232
00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:10,110
All right, so, uh, welcome
233
00:09:10,193 --> 00:09:14,902
to this first passenger-crew
liaison meeting.
234
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:16,860
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(RYAN CHOKES)
235
00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:19,068
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Fucking hands!
236
00:09:19,151 --> 00:09:20,944
All you had to do
was hold the cup!
237
00:09:21,026 --> 00:09:23,402
-Fumbling bitches...
-MIA: Is he British?
238
00:09:23,485 --> 00:09:25,068
-No, he's doing a voice.
-Oh, okay.
239
00:09:25,151 --> 00:09:27,068
You know it's coming,
then you forget it's coming,
240
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,652
-and it just--
-JUDD: Set a reminder, uh,
241
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,068
pre-beep to remind me
of the big beep.
242
00:09:30,151 --> 00:09:31,902
-You got it, baby.
-Already on it, thank you, Matt.
243
00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:34,402
KAREN: All right, so,
I think it would be fitting
244
00:09:34,485 --> 00:09:37,694
-to start with an apology.
-JUDD: I accept.
245
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,068
From you to me,
you big S-gibbon,
246
00:09:40,151 --> 00:09:43,235
because you tried to fire
my husband out the ship!
247
00:09:43,318 --> 00:09:45,068
Mm-mm. I never say sorry.
248
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,902
Like my hero, Gandhi.
249
00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:49,735
All right. Agenda, shall we?
250
00:09:49,819 --> 00:09:51,276
I have a question.
251
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,777
I would like a new cabin
away from my broken prophylactic
252
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,985
-of a husband.
-Will you--
253
00:09:56,068 --> 00:09:58,652
All due respect, normo,
we have bigger fish to fry.
254
00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,777
Second that.
And we can't afford the air.
255
00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,151
-Right.
-MIA: Wait, why not?
256
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,485
-(SNAPS)
-(LOUD BEEP)
257
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:05,402
-(LAUGHS)
-What do you mean,
you can't afford the air?
258
00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,944
-Iris, did you--
did you just laugh?
-You're delirious.
259
00:10:08,026 --> 00:10:10,944
JUDD: All right, so,
I have figured out a way
260
00:10:11,026 --> 00:10:14,068
to re-perceive the turd sleeve
around this ship.
261
00:10:14,151 --> 00:10:17,151
Three words:
theatrical lighting rig.
262
00:10:17,235 --> 00:10:20,777
And here's five:
what, what, and why?
263
00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:22,694
Uh...
No, that's four.
264
00:10:22,777 --> 00:10:23,777
Fuck, I'm so tired.
Jesus.
265
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,777
I'm sorry,
are we running out of air?
266
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:27,235
-Yeah.
-MIA: Like, actual air?
267
00:10:27,318 --> 00:10:28,777
Not, like, cooking air
268
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:30,735
or, you know, like,
air conditioning--
269
00:10:30,819 --> 00:10:32,652
In nine months,
so don't get pregnant,
270
00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:34,151
that'd be a complete
waste of time.
271
00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:37,068
Okay, I'm-- I'm calm.
I'm not gonna tell anybody.
272
00:10:37,735 --> 00:10:39,485
Good. All right.
273
00:10:39,568 --> 00:10:41,902
-So, can we just focus--
-I thought I was calm,
274
00:10:41,985 --> 00:10:44,151
but I am not fucking calm.
I don't wanna die!
275
00:10:44,235 --> 00:10:46,193
I don't wanna run out of air!
276
00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:47,527
-Thank you.
-(LOUD BEEP)
277
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,694
-Hey, Secretary of State.
-Hi, Judd Galaxy.
278
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,527
I like your nails.
279
00:11:03,902 --> 00:11:05,777
-Thank you.
-You got any wax?
280
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:08,360
-This string's dried out.
-What, crossbow wax?
281
00:11:08,443 --> 00:11:10,902
Ooh, let me have a look.
No, sorry.
282
00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:12,568
-(BEEP)
-Oh, it's me.
283
00:11:14,944 --> 00:11:17,485
(WHISPERS) Okay. Do I just...?
284
00:11:17,568 --> 00:11:19,985
THE OTHER PRESIDENT:
(ROBOTIC MALE VOICE)
Miss Mulcair, please clearly
285
00:11:20,068 --> 00:11:21,360
and audibly
state your business.
286
00:11:21,443 --> 00:11:25,110
Right, hello. Uh, I am here
on behalf of Judd Galaxy.
287
00:11:25,193 --> 00:11:28,193
We urgently need rescue funds.
288
00:11:28,276 --> 00:11:32,360
Four point two three
trillion dollars.
289
00:11:32,443 --> 00:11:35,276
I believe written materials
have been submitted directly...
290
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:37,068
into you?
291
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,735
THE OTHER PRESIDENT: We will
redirect funds from the...
292
00:11:40,819 --> 00:11:42,568
(FEMALE VOICE)
...National Child Welfare...
293
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:43,610
(MALE VOICE) ...program.
294
00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:47,402
Oh. Oh, my God.
This-- This is...
295
00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:50,068
(LAUGHS) ...everything!
296
00:11:50,151 --> 00:11:51,735
Thank you so much!
297
00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:54,151
I have been
in such a dark place.
298
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,819
Can I-- No? No? (CHUCKLES)
299
00:11:55,902 --> 00:11:57,402
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
300
00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:59,402
THE OTHER PRESIDENT: Please,
will you consider the removal
301
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,318
of 500 non-essential
passengers?
302
00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:04,652
Right.
303
00:12:04,735 --> 00:12:08,485
I absolutely hear...
what you're saying.
304
00:12:08,568 --> 00:12:11,819
It's just that that would raise
one or two
305
00:12:11,902 --> 00:12:14,026
-ethical questions--
-Thank you!
306
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:16,360
Your query has been forwarded
to the...
307
00:12:16,443 --> 00:12:17,735
(DEEP MALE VOICE)
...Department of Ethics.
308
00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:19,819
-But, uh...
-Goodbye. Have a nice day.
309
00:12:19,902 --> 00:12:21,902
RAV MULCAIR: No. No, no, no, no.
310
00:12:21,985 --> 00:12:24,151
KAREN: All right,
so I appreciate that some of us
311
00:12:24,235 --> 00:12:26,652
are sleep-victimized. However,
312
00:12:26,735 --> 00:12:29,360
bearing in mind
the scarcity of resources,
313
00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:31,568
can we try to keep lang'
at an abs' min'?
314
00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:35,485
-Wh-- What are you saying?
-I am trying to conserve oxygen
315
00:12:35,568 --> 00:12:37,860
by... 'bridging my w'rds.
316
00:12:37,944 --> 00:12:39,777
Well, it's highly,
highly confusing.
317
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,735
You see, you did not need
the second "highly,"
318
00:12:41,819 --> 00:12:43,944
-one would've s'ff'c'd.
-Would--
319
00:12:44,026 --> 00:12:45,026
-Sufficed.
-Ugh.
320
00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:46,944
-Jesus frazzling Christ!
-Oh, my God.
321
00:12:47,026 --> 00:12:49,318
Can we skip
the missing letters round?
322
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,318
I've just reconsidered
your earlier point,
323
00:12:51,402 --> 00:12:53,443
re: an apology.
S'ry.
324
00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:55,026
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(IRIS KIMURA LAUGHS)
325
00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,443
-Iris, you laughed!
-Fine! I'm s--
326
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,360
-What's the matter with you?
-I-- I find it amusing.
327
00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:02,610
(SNICKERING) I don't know why,
it just... beep!
328
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,944
Why are you being such a baby,
Iris? Hmm?
329
00:13:05,026 --> 00:13:07,026
You like babies so much
you wanna be one?
330
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:09,777
Question: are we really
running out of air?
331
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,610
-Supplemental: what the fuck?
-JUDD: Yes!
332
00:13:12,694 --> 00:13:14,068
To your first question.
333
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:16,443
I don't know how to answer
your second question.
334
00:13:16,527 --> 00:13:19,151
But Matty and I
have come up with
335
00:13:19,235 --> 00:13:21,568
a series
of oxygen conservation policies.
336
00:13:21,652 --> 00:13:23,110
"Oxygen conservation policies."
337
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,485
Well, that's a lungful
right there.
338
00:13:24,568 --> 00:13:26,735
Let's try to keep the energy
positive around Mr. Judd
339
00:13:26,819 --> 00:13:28,610
-while he pupates.
-While he what?
340
00:13:28,694 --> 00:13:29,860
While he pupates.
341
00:13:29,944 --> 00:13:32,318
I've gone through a period
of serious introspection
342
00:13:32,402 --> 00:13:33,443
since last night.
343
00:13:34,235 --> 00:13:35,193
Okay, so first of--
344
00:13:35,276 --> 00:13:38,318
Oh, also, you should know,
I-- I tent now.
345
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:41,694
First up, no running.
Leads to panting.
346
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,443
-Don't do it.
-Oh, secondly,
347
00:13:43,527 --> 00:13:47,276
fat people shouldn't use stairs,
and avoid any incline.
348
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,860
Direct! Merciless. Yes.
349
00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:51,777
Uh, fat people should not
exert themselves.
350
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:55,110
-By fat people, do you mean...
-Anyone over two--
351
00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:57,151
Two hundred
and fifty-seven pounds.
352
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,485
-JUDD: Mm-mm.
-IRIS: Mm-hmm.
353
00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:00,819
-JUDD: Mm-hmm?
-IRIS: Mm-hmm.
354
00:14:00,902 --> 00:14:05,151
Okay, uh, yes,
a 257-pound cutoff.
355
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:07,944
RYAN: So what are we going to
do? We're gonna weigh people
as they go about their--
356
00:14:08,026 --> 00:14:10,360
-Are you really
asking questions about--
-JUDD: You know what? Everyone--
357
00:14:10,443 --> 00:14:13,193
please get outta here.
I-- I need a safe space
to create.
358
00:14:13,276 --> 00:14:16,193
Just me, Matty, and the person
whose name I ignored.
359
00:14:16,276 --> 00:14:17,568
-Who's that?
-JUDD: You.
360
00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:18,694
Okay.
361
00:14:18,777 --> 00:14:20,860
That guy is a complete moron.
The more he talks,
362
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,610
-the more in danger we all are.
-Unless we 'M' him.
363
00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:25,151
Okay, Karen,
you gotta stop saying that.
364
00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:27,318
-That is clearly not an option--
-(KAREN CLEARS THROAT)
365
00:14:28,151 --> 00:14:29,360
Life coached by Matt?
366
00:14:29,443 --> 00:14:31,318
That's like being taught
to drive by a hen.
367
00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,402
We're running out of oxygen
and he's "pupating."
368
00:14:33,485 --> 00:14:34,777
He could kill us all.
369
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:39,902
KAREN: Well, you know, Iris,
we could... sedate him.
370
00:14:39,985 --> 00:14:42,735
Yeah, no, that could work.
That could actually work.
371
00:14:42,819 --> 00:14:44,235
Well, we could double the dose?
372
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,402
He might have a stroke,
373
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,694
then you'll only be physically
wiping his ass.
374
00:14:47,777 --> 00:14:51,360
Right. Where are we gonna get
sedatives and a dart gun?
375
00:14:51,443 --> 00:14:52,735
Well, Matt monitors the supply,
376
00:14:52,819 --> 00:14:55,777
and I bet he has full access
to whatev' they got down there.
377
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:57,402
Sir, it's Rav for you.
378
00:14:57,485 --> 00:14:59,735
We round Jupiter in three
minutes and lose comms.
379
00:14:59,819 --> 00:15:01,902
My cabin is closest,
so stride with me.
380
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:05,318
Excuse me! Karen Kelly!
Make a hole, or I will!
381
00:15:08,819 --> 00:15:09,694
(LOUD BEEP)
382
00:15:09,777 --> 00:15:11,402
-RYAN: Gah...
-(IRIS LAUGHS)
383
00:15:11,485 --> 00:15:12,985
-(CLEARS THROAT)
-Now, honey,
384
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:14,360
I have an update for you,
385
00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:17,485
and I don't want you
to go all flappy on me.
386
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:18,860
FRANK KELLY: Okay...
387
00:15:18,944 --> 00:15:20,902
The ship is leaking oxygen.
388
00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:22,026
From what I understand,
389
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,527
it will be like drowning
with dirt in your mouth
390
00:15:24,610 --> 00:15:25,860
and a tractor on your chest.
391
00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:27,694
Okay.
392
00:15:28,902 --> 00:15:30,860
-That's fine.
-(DRINK POURING)
393
00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:33,485
(QUIETLY) Fuck.
394
00:15:34,318 --> 00:15:37,068
(SOBBING)
395
00:15:37,151 --> 00:15:39,902
Sorry. I'm sorry.
It's only oxygen.
396
00:15:39,985 --> 00:15:41,193
KAREN: All right.
397
00:15:41,276 --> 00:15:42,360
So don't talk,
398
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:45,068
because then you will last
marginally longer.
399
00:15:45,151 --> 00:15:45,985
Attaboy.
400
00:15:46,068 --> 00:15:47,944
Okay, guys,
I think we're on. Yeah.
401
00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:50,819
And we don't have long with her,
and it could get
a little bit glitchy.
402
00:15:50,902 --> 00:15:52,235
RAV: (THROUGH SPEAKER)
Hello-- speaking-- Hello?
403
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,777
(AUDIO GLITCHING)
Great. Hi! I-- start speaking.
404
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:55,443
I'm gonna start speaking
before-- get cut off.
405
00:15:55,527 --> 00:15:57,819
I have some good news
and some not so good news.
406
00:15:57,902 --> 00:16:01,068
The good news is...
we have funding!
407
00:16:01,151 --> 00:16:03,777
Yay! Come on! (LAUGHS)
408
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,610
Wh-- What was that?
What did she--
409
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:08,402
-She said they had funding.
-BILLIE: Shush! Yes, yes, shush!
-The not so good news is
410
00:16:08,485 --> 00:16:11,318
the Other President suggested
we explore losing...
411
00:16:11,402 --> 00:16:14,193
(LAUGHS) ...500 NEPs,
but I rejected that,
412
00:16:14,276 --> 00:16:18,318
I said, "No, we are not killing
500 people, not today!"
413
00:16:18,402 --> 00:16:20,360
(GLITCHING) Other President
sug-- we explore
414
00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:22,652
losing 500 NEPs--
(SILENCE)
415
00:16:22,735 --> 00:16:25,068
BILLIE: Wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no. No, no, no! No!
416
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,944
-No, now Earth is
the other side of Jupiter.
-(RYAN SIGHS)
417
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:30,860
-What's NEPs?
-Non-essential personnel, like--
418
00:16:30,944 --> 00:16:33,694
-Mm-- Mm-mm.
-RYAN: Okay.
That is not on the table.
419
00:16:33,777 --> 00:16:37,610
We are not getting rid of
500 non-essential personnel.
420
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:38,985
My hands always get clammy
421
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,944
whenever I shower
in a strange room.
422
00:16:41,026 --> 00:16:42,151
-(LOUD BEEP)
-Fuck you, Doug!
423
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,819
-RYAN: How are you here?
-Yeah, what the actual frig?
424
00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:47,235
Are you wearing Frank's clothes?
425
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:48,568
-Two sugars?
-Yeah.
426
00:16:48,652 --> 00:16:51,360
DOUG: I have just been ordered
homeless by Herman Judd,
427
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:53,318
so I no longer have access
to a bathroom.
428
00:16:53,402 --> 00:16:55,235
Oh, great. You see this, Frank?
429
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,193
He's using you
as a toilet friend.
430
00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:58,610
DOUG: Are you guys
seriously considering
431
00:16:58,694 --> 00:17:00,360
getting rid of 500 passengers?
432
00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:03,110
No, and you are not gonna say it
out there. All right?
433
00:17:03,193 --> 00:17:04,652
And you're particularly
not gonna say it
434
00:17:04,735 --> 00:17:06,318
-in front of Herman Judd.
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(IRIS LAUGHS)
435
00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:09,110
-RYAN: Oh, you-- monotonal fuck!
-Fuck you, Doug!
436
00:17:14,193 --> 00:17:16,777
-(LOUD BEEP)
-Good morning, everyone!
437
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,819
We finally have a baby name.
438
00:17:19,402 --> 00:17:20,443
Kayden!
439
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,026
-Kayden?
-That's an asshole name!
440
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:28,360
Okay, it's just a word.
441
00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:30,318
IRIS:
And you're an asshole, asshole.
442
00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:33,568
-Oh, you.
-Doug.
443
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:35,318
You look different.
Fatter, maybe?
444
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,568
No, it's probably just
my spirit swelling
445
00:17:37,652 --> 00:17:40,485
-now that I'm not with you.
-(CHUCKLES)
446
00:17:40,568 --> 00:17:43,068
-Hey, you're hiding something.
-I don't know
what you're talking about.
447
00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:45,235
I know that, Doug,
that's your factory setting.
448
00:17:45,318 --> 00:17:47,527
Actually, I-- I have been
made privy to something.
449
00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:49,068
Okay, so you know about
450
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,819
-the oxygen.
-The passengers.
451
00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:52,235
-Oxygen?
-The shortage.
452
00:17:52,318 --> 00:17:53,735
-There's a shortage of air?
-Yes!
453
00:17:53,819 --> 00:17:55,485
-Holy fuck! Are you kid--
-Okay, okay--
454
00:17:55,568 --> 00:17:56,944
-Oh, my God, are you serious?
-Stop panicking.
455
00:17:57,026 --> 00:17:59,026
This is when one panics!
We are running out of air
456
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:01,360
and they're shooting 500
passengers out of the airlock.
457
00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:02,402
-What?
-Yes!
458
00:18:02,485 --> 00:18:04,110
The airlock? Oh, my God!
Oh, my fucking God!
459
00:18:04,193 --> 00:18:05,402
-That's horrible.
-This is panicking!
460
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,068
-Why can you panic and I can't--
-I'm not panicking!
461
00:18:07,151 --> 00:18:09,652
-Yeah, neither was I!
-Then stop and lower your voice!
462
00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:10,902
Fine.
463
00:18:11,026 --> 00:18:14,610
Also, the captain is speaking
in that British voice--
464
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,402
-Yeah, I heard that.
-All right, listen, fucker,
465
00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:20,110
if they start suggesting names
of passengers,
466
00:18:20,193 --> 00:18:21,652
let's not suggest each other,
all right?
467
00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:23,235
-That's actually a really good--
-Okay, fine.
468
00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:24,443
-Good plan.
-All right.
469
00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:25,777
(SCOFFS) Put your hard-on away.
470
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:27,568
This is purely
self-preservation.
471
00:18:27,652 --> 00:18:28,944
Yeah, I think the same thing.
472
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:29,944
-Great.
-All right, see you l--
473
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,276
-See you around.
-Okay. See you never.
474
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,777
-Come on.
-(LOUD BEEP)
475
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:34,902
-Fuck you!
-No, fuck you, Doug!
476
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:37,694
Do you wanna--
477
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,026
Okay, Matt, uh... (SIGHS)
478
00:18:45,568 --> 00:18:46,485
(LOUD BEEP)
479
00:18:46,568 --> 00:18:48,235
Uh, I-- I, um...
480
00:18:48,318 --> 00:18:50,276
-I need you to hook me up.
-MATT: What do you need?
481
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,193
Synthetic veal?
Porno? Mint jelly?
482
00:18:52,276 --> 00:18:53,735
All of them, if you can.
483
00:18:53,819 --> 00:18:56,151
-(CHUCKLES) Jesus!
-But first, I-- I, uh...
484
00:18:56,235 --> 00:19:00,610
I actually want lots and lots
and lots of sedatives.
485
00:19:00,694 --> 00:19:03,985
Look, my area of expertise
is pretty limited.
486
00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:06,610
It's basically recreational
barbiturates,
487
00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:09,860
Eastern sex practices,
Christmas music.
488
00:19:09,944 --> 00:19:13,777
But I do know suffering,
and you're suffering.
489
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:16,652
So I just need a little bit more
information to make sure
490
00:19:16,735 --> 00:19:19,777
I'm not causing more harm
than I'm fixing.
491
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,610
-I was bullied at school.
-Was it your ears?
492
00:19:23,694 --> 00:19:24,944
What? No. What do you mean?
493
00:19:25,026 --> 00:19:26,235
-What's wrong with my ears?
-Nothing.
494
00:19:26,318 --> 00:19:28,944
But that is what I would
go in on, if I was bullying you.
495
00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:30,151
I'd make you self-conscious
496
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:31,652
about something
that isn't even a thing
497
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,735
because it makes you
question your sanity.
498
00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:36,944
Ain't that right,
you jar-eared Dumbo fuck?
499
00:19:38,151 --> 00:19:39,694
-It's brutal.
-I-- Yeah-- Mm.
500
00:19:39,777 --> 00:19:42,652
You're right, I hate my ears.
Yeah.
501
00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:43,944
-Sedatives?
-I mean, look at you.
502
00:19:44,026 --> 00:19:45,860
You're like a gimp on a leash
right now.
503
00:19:45,944 --> 00:19:47,694
-Mm-hmm.
-You'd do anything
for these drugs.
504
00:19:47,777 --> 00:19:49,527
-Anything.
-And if I don't give 'em to you,
505
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,402
you're probably gonna go
below decks...
506
00:19:51,485 --> 00:19:52,735
and get them from the guys
down there.
507
00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:54,694
But you're gonna have to
sexually humiliate yourself.
508
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,193
You are so good.
You're right.
509
00:19:56,276 --> 00:19:58,860
I was this close
to going down there and...
510
00:19:58,944 --> 00:20:00,485
showing someone my bottom.
511
00:20:01,652 --> 00:20:03,026
(LOUD BEEP)
512
00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:04,443
(HEAVY SIGH)
513
00:20:06,819 --> 00:20:10,026
Well, I...
I got the, um, the sleeping...
514
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:12,318
-Oh.
-Yeah. Take two of these,
515
00:20:12,402 --> 00:20:14,527
it's like you've died
and gone to the opera.
516
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:15,735
BILLIE:
All right, so give me one
517
00:20:15,819 --> 00:20:18,652
because I'm so tired
that my hair hurts me.
518
00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:21,151
(YAWNS) Oh, no.
These are for, um...
519
00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:24,318
what's the-- who's the guy
who runs Judd Industries?
520
00:20:24,402 --> 00:20:25,902
-BOTH: Judd.
-RYAN: Yes.
521
00:20:25,985 --> 00:20:30,360
So, apparently, even, uh,
Space Baby can't sleep.
522
00:20:30,443 --> 00:20:31,985
Respectfully, fuck him.
523
00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:34,402
No, seriously, 'cause he's--
he's in an incubator,
524
00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,235
those things are soundproofed
to balls.
525
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:39,193
I'll take the sedatives,
and I'll go Judd drug.
526
00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:42,276
No, Karen, you will kill him.
There's a difference.
527
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,985
Okay, so you two
give me the, um...
528
00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:49,694
them things,
and then I'll go...
529
00:20:50,318 --> 00:20:51,318
What?
530
00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:52,735
I'll go to-- Who they for?
531
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,443
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(KAREN GROANS)
532
00:20:54,527 --> 00:20:56,485
-I'll take them. I'll take--
-Oh, no, no, Billie,
Billie, no--
533
00:20:56,568 --> 00:20:59,276
-Yeah, but I'm gonna give them--
-Billie, give them to me.
-Okay--
534
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,443
Oh, look, it's the king!
535
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:01,860
-Where?
-A-ha!
536
00:21:01,944 --> 00:21:05,026
In your face, you and--
and the other one.
537
00:21:05,110 --> 00:21:07,068
Okay. Michele's an engineer,
538
00:21:07,151 --> 00:21:08,360
you tell him
exactly what you want.
539
00:21:08,443 --> 00:21:10,860
-Get as technical as you like.
-JUDD: Okay.
540
00:21:11,777 --> 00:21:12,610
Michele, huh?
541
00:21:12,694 --> 00:21:14,485
I don't like boys
with girls' names.
542
00:21:14,568 --> 00:21:15,694
Okay, so...
543
00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:22,360
We fire the glitter at the turds
as we turn the lasers on?
544
00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:25,360
Or... sequins.
545
00:21:25,443 --> 00:21:31,443
Maybe sequin bombs that we make
from degradable plastics,
546
00:21:31,527 --> 00:21:34,902
and then shoot them
at the turds.
547
00:21:34,985 --> 00:21:39,193
I'm thinking six
every two minutes,
548
00:21:39,276 --> 00:21:42,068
to ensure a steady shimmer.
549
00:21:42,151 --> 00:21:45,485
Then glitter, then confetti,
550
00:21:45,568 --> 00:21:50,276
then, maybe, fairy lights,
if we all feel we've earned it.
551
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:51,985
Okay, read it back to me.
552
00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:53,151
Let's make a sex tape!
553
00:21:53,235 --> 00:21:54,860
Get out of my line of sight.
554
00:21:54,944 --> 00:21:57,443
(JINGLE PINGS)
555
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:00,735
-(EXHALES)
-MATT: Action.
556
00:22:01,694 --> 00:22:04,068
Herman Judd here,
with a brief word.
557
00:22:04,151 --> 00:22:06,735
Indeed, all of our words
must now be brief.
558
00:22:06,819 --> 00:22:09,443
That is because we're
running out of breathable air.
559
00:22:09,527 --> 00:22:11,151
(ALL GASP)
560
00:22:11,235 --> 00:22:13,944
I had intended to ease
into that one.
561
00:22:14,026 --> 00:22:17,527
We will plug this leak.
But until we do,
562
00:22:17,610 --> 00:22:19,985
you must remain
breathing steadily
563
00:22:20,068 --> 00:22:22,860
to minimize all oxygen usage.
564
00:22:22,944 --> 00:22:26,652
And cut out all
unnecessary conversation.
565
00:22:26,735 --> 00:22:29,026
No sighing, no gasping,
566
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:32,318
no unnecessary sneezing,
no flouncing.
567
00:22:32,402 --> 00:22:34,735
If you have to be
passive aggressive,
568
00:22:34,819 --> 00:22:36,568
do it only with your eyes.
569
00:22:37,985 --> 00:22:39,193
Relax.
570
00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,652
-(LOUD BEEP)
-JUDD: Iris!
571
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,985
No, no, no, wait.
This is recorded. That's...
572
00:22:43,068 --> 00:22:44,151
that's not the actual beep.
573
00:22:44,235 --> 00:22:46,860
-JUDD: But do remain
breathing calmly.
574
00:22:46,944 --> 00:22:49,527
-(LOUD BEEP)
-That's the actual beep.
575
00:22:49,610 --> 00:22:52,610
That is now a legal requirement.
576
00:22:53,652 --> 00:22:54,735
Thanks, gang.
577
00:22:57,527 --> 00:22:59,151
(QUIETLY)
Okay, I'm gonna tell a joke now.
578
00:22:59,235 --> 00:23:01,777
The setup is that
there are three men
579
00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:04,110
of three different
nationalities.
580
00:23:04,193 --> 00:23:05,443
I won't tell you
which nationalities,
581
00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:07,235
'cause otherwise
you might find it amusing.
582
00:23:07,318 --> 00:23:09,360
The punchline is that
one of the men in the joke
583
00:23:09,443 --> 00:23:10,819
is considerably
more parsimonious
584
00:23:10,902 --> 00:23:13,193
than the other two men
in the joke.
585
00:23:13,276 --> 00:23:14,777
Thus concludes the joke.
586
00:23:15,568 --> 00:23:17,151
That was not funny.
587
00:23:18,485 --> 00:23:19,985
Here it comes.
588
00:23:20,944 --> 00:23:22,360
-(LOUD BEEP)
-(CHUCKLES)
589
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,110
JUDD: Iris!
590
00:23:25,694 --> 00:23:27,527
(WHISPERING) As I walk up,
there's these cars
591
00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:29,276
falling out of the bed.
It was just--
592
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:31,485
What is the nature
of this conversation?
593
00:23:31,568 --> 00:23:33,902
Uh, I'm just talking about
my grandchildren.
594
00:23:33,985 --> 00:23:35,902
Would you classify it
as essential?
595
00:23:35,985 --> 00:23:37,527
News flash: it isn't.
596
00:23:39,235 --> 00:23:41,610
Okay, now I'm gonna do
some oxygen-efficient banter
597
00:23:41,694 --> 00:23:42,777
with the audience.
598
00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:44,860
-Ma'am, where are you from?
-Utah.
599
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:47,777
That's nice.
600
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,860
(WHISPERING)
You are banal as shit.
601
00:23:52,694 --> 00:23:53,694
(LOUD BEEP)
602
00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:57,485
-♪ (SAXOPHONE PLAYING) ♪
-(LOUD BEEP)
603
00:23:57,568 --> 00:23:59,485
I hear ya, honey.
604
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:01,985
-♪ (SAXOPHONE RESUMES) ♪
-Shoehorns are weird,
aren't they?
605
00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:05,402
Thus concludes
the shoehorns section.
606
00:24:05,985 --> 00:24:07,026
Thank you.
607
00:24:10,402 --> 00:24:11,735
(LOUD BEEP)
608
00:24:15,402 --> 00:24:16,443
(WHISPERING)
I thought I'd set up--
609
00:24:16,527 --> 00:24:18,068
(WHISPERING)
I can't-- I can't. I'm sorry.
610
00:24:19,151 --> 00:24:21,735
I said, I thought I'd set up
in a space
611
00:24:21,819 --> 00:24:23,610
where everyone feels welcome.
612
00:24:23,694 --> 00:24:25,527
In God's office?
613
00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:28,026
Jesus, Vishnu, Allah,
Karen Kelly.
614
00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:31,235
(CHUCKLES) I think I have
a ways to go just yet.
615
00:24:31,318 --> 00:24:32,360
-RYAN: Sedatives.
-KAREN: Oh--
616
00:24:32,443 --> 00:24:33,819
JUDD: (WHISPERING)
Ryan!
617
00:24:33,902 --> 00:24:37,318
Get ready to have your butt
and/or ball blown off.
618
00:24:37,402 --> 00:24:40,402
(WHISPERING) Mr. Judd is about
to perform his first miracle.
619
00:24:40,485 --> 00:24:43,610
We're gonna sparklify
the Halo of Crud.
620
00:24:43,694 --> 00:24:44,944
(LOUD BEEP)
621
00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:47,485
IRIS: (WHISPERING LOUDLY)
I have an update.
622
00:24:47,568 --> 00:24:51,151
Space Baby has jaundice.
He's on a respirator.
623
00:24:51,235 --> 00:24:53,985
Jaundice?
Somebody's got a weak liver.
624
00:24:54,068 --> 00:24:55,193
-Is he okay?
-IRIS: He's fine,
625
00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:57,276
just laying there
with his oxygen mask.
626
00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:58,485
Greedy little fuck.
627
00:24:58,568 --> 00:25:01,235
Yeah! There's my girl.
Welcome back. Missed you, girl.
628
00:25:01,318 --> 00:25:04,110
(LOUDLY) Yeah, fuck Space Baby,
stealing all our oxygen.
629
00:25:04,193 --> 00:25:06,068
(WHISPERING) Who's stealing
the oxygen? What's going on?
630
00:25:06,151 --> 00:25:07,485
WOMAN 1: We just heard the news.
631
00:25:07,568 --> 00:25:08,819
Oh, shit. They told you?
632
00:25:08,902 --> 00:25:10,694
About the 500 NEPs
they're shooting into space?
633
00:25:10,777 --> 00:25:12,360
-What? Doug, what are you doing?
-(CROWD CLAMORS)
634
00:25:12,443 --> 00:25:14,026
-You're such an idiot.
-I'm whispering so we're--
635
00:25:14,110 --> 00:25:16,026
-(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
-Shh, shh, shh--
636
00:25:16,110 --> 00:25:17,819
(SHOUTS IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Quiet!
637
00:25:17,902 --> 00:25:19,944
You... chattering...
638
00:25:20,485 --> 00:25:21,860
fucks!
639
00:25:21,944 --> 00:25:22,902
(SOFTLY)
Can you hear me?
640
00:25:22,985 --> 00:25:24,110
-Yes.
-I can.
641
00:25:24,193 --> 00:25:26,193
-What about now?
-Yes. It was the same.
642
00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:27,276
(WHISPERS) What about now?
643
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,318
-Too low.
-Too low.
644
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:29,443
Okay, I'll go up.
645
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,151
-(FRANK SNEEZES)
-RYAN: Bless you.
646
00:25:31,235 --> 00:25:32,819
-(SNEEZES)
-DOUG: Oxygen--
647
00:25:32,902 --> 00:25:34,026
-(COUGHS)
-MAN 2: Fuck!
648
00:25:34,110 --> 00:25:35,276
Shut up, Frank!
649
00:25:36,860 --> 00:25:38,026
-Now that you have--
-(SNEEZES)
650
00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,985
-DOUG: Guys. Please. Guys.
-Oh, my God.
651
00:25:40,068 --> 00:25:41,610
DOUG: That's like a full tank.
652
00:25:43,735 --> 00:25:46,360
You have to think
before you speak.
653
00:25:46,443 --> 00:25:47,819
And then, think again.
654
00:25:47,902 --> 00:25:50,276
And then think,
"I shouldn't speak."
655
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,694
And then, don't speak.
656
00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:54,819
-(LOUD BEEP)
-Iris!
657
00:25:54,902 --> 00:25:56,068
-Fuck you, Doug!
-Hey, you.
658
00:25:56,151 --> 00:25:57,402
What are NEPs?
659
00:25:57,485 --> 00:25:59,235
They're non-essential personnel.
660
00:25:59,318 --> 00:26:00,610
-MAN 3: What?!
-I--
661
00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:04,110
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Iris, will you shut the fuck up?
662
00:26:04,193 --> 00:26:07,110
Is it true? You're just gonna
kill 500 passengers?
663
00:26:07,193 --> 00:26:08,985
Why wasn't I notified?
664
00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:11,360
Was I notified?
665
00:26:11,443 --> 00:26:12,652
When was I notified?
666
00:26:12,735 --> 00:26:15,652
Who are you to determine
who is essential?
667
00:26:15,735 --> 00:26:19,193
I can't go. I'm the only
radiologist in outer space.
668
00:26:19,276 --> 00:26:20,902
Darrell, I'm standing
right here!
669
00:26:20,985 --> 00:26:23,777
We've been colleagues for years!
670
00:26:23,860 --> 00:26:25,860
(WHISPERING)
It's not an oxygen beep.
671
00:26:25,944 --> 00:26:28,235
(LAUGHING)
It's not an oxygen beep!
672
00:26:28,318 --> 00:26:30,902
I checked all the tanks,
and the beeping
673
00:26:31,026 --> 00:26:34,402
is the ship telling us
to recalibrate for the baby.
674
00:26:34,485 --> 00:26:36,610
-(KAREN GASPS)
-There's an extra passenger.
675
00:26:36,694 --> 00:26:38,110
It needs to recalibrate.
676
00:26:38,193 --> 00:26:39,110
There's no oxygen--
677
00:26:39,193 --> 00:26:40,402
SPIKE: That would be
the other reason.
678
00:26:40,485 --> 00:26:41,860
-MAN 4: Oh, my--
-What, you-- you didn't
679
00:26:41,944 --> 00:26:44,193
-rule that out already, huh?
-Shut up, Spike.
680
00:26:44,276 --> 00:26:46,235
BILLIE: There is air.
There is enough air
681
00:26:46,318 --> 00:26:49,402
for maybe some of you
to thank me. I'm Billie.
682
00:26:49,485 --> 00:26:50,568
(LOUDLY) We have air?
683
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,777
-Yeah, we have air.
-So we can shout?
684
00:26:52,860 --> 00:26:54,360
If you want to, I guess, yes.
685
00:26:54,443 --> 00:26:55,944
(SHOUTING)
You guys were trying to kill us!
686
00:26:56,026 --> 00:26:57,527
Yeah, you had a list going!
Guess what?
687
00:26:57,610 --> 00:26:59,110
Now we're gonna make
a fucking list!
688
00:26:59,193 --> 00:27:01,360
-And you all...
-I don't even care about names,
689
00:27:01,443 --> 00:27:02,568
I just want blood.
690
00:27:02,652 --> 00:27:04,777
And... light 'em up!
691
00:27:04,860 --> 00:27:06,610
-♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
-(ALL GASP)
692
00:27:06,694 --> 00:27:08,944
-MAN 5: Oh, my...
-WOMAN 2: Oh!
693
00:27:09,026 --> 00:27:10,485
RYAN: Wow.
694
00:27:10,568 --> 00:27:12,568
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
695
00:27:14,068 --> 00:27:15,360
BILLIE: It is beautiful.
696
00:27:16,485 --> 00:27:18,318
Until you really think about it.
697
00:27:18,402 --> 00:27:21,151
Who knew shit
could be so enchanting?
698
00:27:21,235 --> 00:27:23,944
Me. I did. I knew.
699
00:27:24,026 --> 00:27:28,360
He's transformed the most
disgusting thing imaginable
700
00:27:28,443 --> 00:27:32,360
into a kaleidoscope
of butt truffles!
701
00:27:32,443 --> 00:27:35,735
Well, you gotta say,
he knows his audience.
702
00:27:35,819 --> 00:27:38,735
So... he lives.
For tonight.
703
00:27:38,819 --> 00:27:40,193
RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT)
Okay, it's over.
704
00:27:40,276 --> 00:27:41,527
The nightmare is over.
705
00:27:41,610 --> 00:27:44,360
This-- this part
of the nightmare is over.
706
00:27:44,443 --> 00:27:47,318
(DOUG AND MIA ARGUING)
707
00:27:47,402 --> 00:27:49,193
MATT: Congratulations.
708
00:27:49,276 --> 00:27:51,652
Why don't you give yourself
a little pat on the back,
709
00:27:51,735 --> 00:27:53,235
or the ass?
710
00:27:53,318 --> 00:27:56,360
Give your ass a little squeeze,
and then...
711
00:27:56,443 --> 00:27:59,026
go make love to yourself
in a sleazy motel.
712
00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:00,110
(GRUNTS)
713
00:28:00,944 --> 00:28:02,026
You earned it.
714
00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:03,360
You're really fucking weird,
dude.
715
00:28:03,443 --> 00:28:04,985
I don't wanna
do these hangouts anymore.
716
00:28:05,068 --> 00:28:06,527
They make me kinda sick.
717
00:28:06,610 --> 00:28:08,777
-That's okay.
-JUDD: No, it isn't.
718
00:28:11,902 --> 00:28:13,944
-(IRIS SIGHS)
-(JUDD GRUNTS)
719
00:28:16,610 --> 00:28:19,235
Your ears are beautiful.
720
00:28:20,110 --> 00:28:21,110
To me.
721
00:28:23,235 --> 00:28:25,944
It's the most plausible
he's looked in weeks.
722
00:28:32,860 --> 00:28:34,944
I'm gonna miss talking to ya,
sweetie.
723
00:28:43,068 --> 00:28:46,151
-(SNORING)
-♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
54203
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