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1
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,520
(GRACE KELLY PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,040
Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
3
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,040
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
4
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,800
Do I like what you like?
Why don't you like me?
5
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:32,240
Why don't you like me
Without making me try?
6
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,640
Why don't you like me
Without making me try?
7
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,040
I try to be like Grace Kelly
8
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,800
But all her looks were too sad
9
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,440
So I try a little Freddie
10
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,200
I've gone identity mad!
11
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,760
I could be brown
I could be blue
12
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,320
Gotta be everything more
13
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,400
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
14
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,160
Why don't you walk out the door?
15
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,760
- Here you go, sweetie.
- Oh, thanks.
16
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:00,840
I tried banana nut sprout this morning.
17
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,920
Thought, you know,
a little change of pace,
18
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,160
thought somebody deserves
something special for his birthday.
19
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,240
Yeah. It's good.
20
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,000
Okay, so I made
reservations tonight at Babbo at 8:30.
21
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,680
I thought maybe we could talk about,
you know, setting a date?
22
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,040
Did you just make a plan to make a plan?
23
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,960
- Did I just do that again?
- Yeah, you did.
24
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,000
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
25
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,080
All right, I'll see you later, okay?
26
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,600
- Hey, hey, hey! Love you.
- Love you, too.
27
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,400
- Bye.
- Bye.
28
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,480
- Happy birthday!
- You, too!
29
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:32,440
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
30
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,920
Hello, sir.
Would you like to buy some cookies?
31
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,480
I would. I really would. I just...
32
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,000
(EX CLAIMS)
33
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,440
Unfortunately, I don't have any money.
34
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,600
I don't have any cookies.
35
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,520
Jack?
36
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,520
I need a key.
37
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,520
Wow.
38
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,480
Wow. That...
39
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:04,840
A key?
40
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,920
What? No! I want a key.
41
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,560
Like an actual key to your apartment
so I don't have to wait outside
42
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,720
when I'm dressed
in these little slutty outfits.
43
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,880
I don't want to live with you.
44
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,760
No offense.
45
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,240
And you know I mean this
in the nicest possible way.
46
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,640
You're not exactly
serious boyfriend/marriage material.
47
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,880
And I pride myself on that.
48
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,120
I gotta go. I'll see you next week.
What're we doing?
49
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:31,080
Mother of the baby saved from the fire
and the sexy shirtless fireman?
50
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,880
I could be brown
I could be blue
51
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,840
I could be violet sky
52
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,720
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
53
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,600
I could be anything you like
54
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,520
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
55
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,440
Gotta be everything more
56
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,240
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
57
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,080
Why don't you walk out the door?
58
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,960
I could be brown
I could be blue
59
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,920
Gotta be everything more
60
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,840
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
61
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,040
Why don't you walk out the door?
62
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,880
- McNally.
- Chong.
63
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,400
(BELL RINGING)
64
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,920
(ALL SHOUTING)
65
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,960
(COMMENTA TOR CHA TTERING ON TV)
66
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,320
(ALL CHEERING)
67
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,480
Not now.
68
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,640
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey! Here we go! Yeah!
That's looking good! All right!
69
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,560
That's good form right there.
Let's keep that up, huh?
70
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,880
That's a beautiful veneer. Just throw that
on the edge-band and we're set.
71
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,840
- All right!
- Hey, Jack?
72
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:29,320
- Do you know what time it is?
- What? I can't hear you over the saw.
73
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,840
We're in the zone over here.
I don't want to lose focus.
74
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,560
That's how people lose fingers, huh?
75
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,760
- You're fired.
- All right. We are fired up, boys!
76
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,680
You are fired!
77
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:40,960
All right.
78
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,120
I'll play you for it. You win, I'm out.
79
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,200
I win. I get a second chance.
80
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,400
It's not a second chance
when you've had a hundred of them.
81
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:02,080
Oh! Nine-seven! Keeping my job! Yeah!
82
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,600
Okay. All right.
83
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,000
- I'll give you one.
- Do you know what?
84
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,320
You're supposed to be the future boss,
85
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,000
but you're too busy
being the life of the party.
86
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,960
At some point, you're gonna have
to step up and be a man.
87
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,760
(GRUNTING)
88
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:25,320
- Eight-nine! Unemployment!
- Okay, man. You want to play?
89
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,600
Nine-nine! Food stamps! Tastes so good.
90
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,560
(EX CLAIMS)
91
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,360
- Okay, that's not even a shot.
- The boss got game! The boss got game!
92
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,120
Ten-nine. This is it, Jack.
93
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,480
- You know what? This is ridiculous.
- You know what? That's your problem.
94
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,840
You can't handle the pressure. As soon
as you think you're going to lose, you quit.
95
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,400
Game over, Jack.
96
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,720
Don't get me wrong.
You're like a son to me.
97
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:07,440
- Dad, I am your son.
- Yeah, and it's time to cut the cord.
98
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,800
Let's go clean out your desk.
99
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,080
Mason has no idea, not an idea at all.
100
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,840
- That you're pathetic, or...
- What, do you think I went overboard?
101
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,600
No. No, I think it's the exact
right amount of board.
102
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,800
Which is what I am right now.
Can we start drinking?
103
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,160
Of course. Okay, look it!
These are for Mason.
104
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,320
What's that?
105
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,440
Vegas? I thought you hated Vegas.
106
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,560
I do, but, you know,
that's why they call it a gift tip,
107
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,240
- because it truly is selfless.
- Oh, thanks.
108
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,000
Okay, everyone listen!
I'm going to bring him in,
109
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,120
I'm gonna turn on the lights, and that's
when you yell, "Surprise!"
110
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,600
Oh, that's how a surprise party works!
I'm totally gonna write that down.
111
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,240
Okay. Everyone, hide! Hide, hide, hide!
112
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,120
(SHUSHING)
113
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,880
- Hi, sweetie!
- Hey!
114
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,880
Welcome home. Happy birthday.
Okay, come inside...
115
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,040
- Listen, Joy. We need to talk.
- Okay. Well, let's do it inside. Okay?
116
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,360
No, no, no. I can't, or I'll never do this.
117
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,800
Look, there's no easy way to say this.
118
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,640
Okay, then don't. Okay? Just think it,
119
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,920
and then later, I'll try to figure out
what it was you were thinking.
120
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,160
Okay? Let's just go inside.
121
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,880
No, no, no, no, no, no!
This can't wait, Joy.
122
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,240
You know I have a really important job.
123
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,320
- Right?
- Yeah.
124
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,320
So when I come home,
I want this place to be an escape.
125
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,480
And as of late, it's not.
126
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,920
Yes, the sex is great, okay?
I mean, that's fantastic,
127
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,960
and I can't tell you how much I appreciate
all the things you've been trying
128
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,320
with my butt.
129
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,400
(GASPS)
130
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,800
But the rest is so exhausting.
131
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:42,200
You're so on all the time, with all the
scheduling and planning, it's just...
132
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,920
I don't want to marry you, Joy.
133
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,800
I'm leaving you.
134
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,920
Well, I mean, this is my place, so
technically, you would be the one
135
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,680
that has to leave, but... Are you crying?
136
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,080
Surprise.
137
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,640
- Oh, shitballs.
- Yeah.
138
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:03,920
Hey!
139
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,000
Hey. Here...
140
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,800
Do you have any idea
how much money I've made him?
141
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,520
You're my lawyer.
Can I sue him for something?
142
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,760
Well, the problem with suing your father
is that he's your dad.
143
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,520
He'd love it. He'd think we were bonding.
144
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,520
(LAUGHS)
145
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,080
Maybe he would be! You don't know.
Take him to court. It might be nice.
146
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,640
- What am I gonna do about money?
- You're just realizing that right now?
147
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,360
- Fascinating.
- I could do a lot of things for money.
148
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:28,720
I'm good at stuff.
149
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,640
I'll bet you $5
I can finish this beer faster than you.
150
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,200
Really? You're on.
151
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,440
He doesn't even deserve me.
152
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,520
Here's my thought on what we should do
with this whole Mason thing.
153
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,600
- Okay.
- Once a week,
154
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,240
we get some of my brother's
loser-ass friends
155
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,920
to go over to Mason's house,
ring his doorbell,
156
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,720
and when he answers,
they're just gonna, bang,
157
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,160
junk punch him
right up in his man business
158
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,360
and then he's gonna keel over.
159
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,320
While he's writhing on the ground
screaming, "Why?"
160
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,440
they'll go, "You know why!"
161
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,720
Wow! Did you just think of that?
162
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,440
No, I was thinking about it a lot
on the way over.
163
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,080
You are a child!
164
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,120
(JACK GROANING)
165
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,120
- What is that? What is that?
- Double or nothing.
166
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,760
Joy, you're gonna need
to take off this ring.
167
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,320
No, I... I'm just... I'm just gonna...
168
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,840
I'm just going to wear it
on the other hand.
169
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,880
You're on fire. Man, you are on fire.
170
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,880
This is like... I mean, you're lucky.
171
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,240
- I don't feel good.
- We need to capitalize on this.
172
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,280
You know what's gonna
make you feel better?
173
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,360
What?
174
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,520
Where's the one place where
you can step up and be a man?
175
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,680
Community college?
176
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,200
Where can you go where
you can forget all your troubles
177
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,120
and act like a total idiot?
178
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:38,200
I am talking about one place
and one place only, my friend.
179
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,480
Do not say Vegas.
180
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:40,600
Please say Vegas.
181
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,360
- Vegas, baby.
- Vegas?
182
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:43,800
- Las Vegas?
- What?
183
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,680
Swish it around in your mouth a little bit.
Think about it.
184
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,360
- Vegas!
- Vegas.
185
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,320
- Carefree.
- Say it like you mean it.
186
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,080
- Spontaneous.
- I can't hear you!
187
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,680
- Vegas!
- Vegas?
188
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,600
- Vegas!
- Vegas!
189
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,120
- Vegas!
- Vegas!
190
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,000
- Vegas!
- Vegas!
191
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,960
MAN: Hello, Las Vegas!
192
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,240
Wow.
193
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:12,880
Vegas.
194
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,200
Everyone, I'm so sorry,
but our computers are down right now,
195
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,880
so just bear with us, please.
I'm sorry. I know.
196
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,760
(LAUGHING)
197
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,160
Okay, your fianc� is one lucky guy.
198
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,520
I love Vegas!
199
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,440
Time to get a big-boy drink.
200
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:37,480
I'll have a vodka and a Scotch.
201
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,040
(EX CLAIMS)
202
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,800
This is where I'm passing out.
Pants, you're out of here.
203
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,760
(ALL SCREAMING)
204
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,040
Did we ever tell you
you scream like a girl?
205
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,480
My eyes! It burns!
206
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,280
My head!
My head and my eyes are burning!
207
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:16,800
My back!
208
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,480
My nose! My nose now!
209
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,600
Whoa! Whoa! Take it easy!
210
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,520
(ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING)
211
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,720
It's okay! It's okay! They're gay!
212
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,320
- What?
- They're gay!
213
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,240
(GASPING)
214
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,040
This... No, no, this is not
what it looks like.
215
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,800
We just...
We all got booked in the same room.
216
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,680
Let's just go downstairs.
I smell an upgrade!
217
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,080
- You guys aren't gay?
- No.
218
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,960
(JOY AND TIPPER SCREAMING)
219
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,200
(GIGGLING)
220
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,200
- I got this.
- No.
221
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,560
Just let me handle it, okay?
222
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,760
Okay.
223
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,520
Curtis. You and I have a problem.
224
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,240
I think we both know
how this game works.
225
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,640
I complain, and you tell me
there's nothing you can do,
226
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,960
but we both know that's a big, fat lie,
227
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,080
so why don't you just
save us both the trouble
228
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,480
and type in those special codes
229
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,400
that you know
you're gonna type in eventually
230
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,200
and find me two rooms that are so nice
231
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,920
that it turns my night right back around?
232
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,200
She's awfully hostile for a girl named Joy.
233
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,960
I'm going to do exactly
what you're telling me to do, because
234
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,160
I'm a little frightened of you.
235
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,320
These are penthouse suites.
236
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,720
You can't get any higher than that
without going on the roof,
237
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,480
and you're not allowed on the roof,
because people jump.
238
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,200
Penthouse suites.
239
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,600
- Nice!
- No!
240
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,480
- Yeah.
- That's not bad.
241
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,240
Well, you're welcome.
242
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,280
Now watch and learn.
243
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,320
- Hey, buddy.
- Oh, hi. How are you?
244
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,200
I think you just met my friend back there.
245
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,640
Kind of a scary person.
246
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,200
Oh, Egyptian cotton. That's nice.
247
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,760
I want to apologize for her.
For three weeks out of the month,
248
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,680
we get to enjoy
God's most precious creation,
249
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,680
and on week four, the bill arrives.
250
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,520
(LAUGHS) I know what you mean.
251
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,760
Look, I don't want to push here,
252
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,440
but I know that a man in your position
is capable of producing certain amenities.
253
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,520
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
254
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,640
CURTIS: Planet Hollywood. Yeah.
255
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:35,720
(GASPING)
256
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,000
HATER: VIP!
257
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,920
Hey. So, you're from New York,
we're from New York.
258
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,200
- We're going to Le Cirque, please!
- Come on.
259
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,560
Look, I didn't bring my buddy
all the way out to Vegas
260
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,200
so he could get his ass kicked. Right?
261
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,960
So the least you could do is help me
show him a good time.
262
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,000
Your buddy wouldn't know a good time
if it sat on his face.
263
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,200
Okay, you know what, Stripper?
You are kind of a disgusting skank.
264
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,200
Driver, we'll get out here! Thank you!
265
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,320
- Okay, bye!
- Thank you.
266
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,000
- Use a condom, boys.
- Bye-bye. Bye. Just go!
267
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,280
Oh, come on. One drink.
268
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,720
I'm a pretty fun guy. You can ask around.
269
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,800
Thanks, but we have dinner reservations.
270
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,800
And we have to map out our assault
on the strip.
271
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,040
You have a plan to make plans?
272
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,480
Excuse me?
273
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,720
I bet you look really good
with your hair down.
274
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,800
- My hair is down.
- One drink!
275
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,560
I dare you!
276
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,240
Did I invent hip-hop? No. But I was there.
277
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,000
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
278
00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,960
- So, Joy.
- Yeah?
279
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,760
What brings you to Sin City?
280
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,640
You know, just being spontaneous,
281
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,000
cutting loose, like everyone else.
How about yourself?
282
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,120
Yeah. Me? Oh, I'm here on business.
283
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,960
Big business, actually. I'm...
284
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,480
I'm a pretty important guy
285
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,120
in my field.
286
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,920
Really?
287
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,800
No.
288
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:21,800
Actually,
289
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:28,240
I just got fired. So, cheers to that.
290
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,240
I just got dumped, so, salud.
291
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,200
Did I mention that I got fired
by my boss-slash-father?
292
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,600
Did I mention that I threw
a surprise birthday party for my fianc�
293
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,640
and the surprise was that he dumped me
in front of all of our closest friends
294
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,840
while they hid in the closet?
295
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,880
Wow. Okay, you win.
296
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,400
Excuse me.
We're gonna need a whole bottle.
297
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,360
I saved a baby today.
I'm not a hero, though.
298
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,160
- You know what I mean? I'm not a...
- He's married.
299
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,520
This is my lesbian sister.
Tell her about your softball game.
300
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,120
Tell her about your softball team.
301
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,360
What do you say we bet 10-to-1,
with $125 on the hard eight?
302
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,760
- MAN: Bets are right there.
- All right. Roll them out.
303
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,400
No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't...
I wouldn't bet on me winning.
304
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,960
You roll, princess.
305
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,040
All right. Go, 44! 44!
306
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,240
(ALL CHEERING)
307
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,120
(DANCE MUSIC PLA YING ON PA)
308
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,160
JOY: This is my party trick. Here it goes.
309
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,040
What are you gonna do?
Are you going to cut...
310
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,400
(LAUGHING)
311
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,080
You know, you were right about me.
312
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,280
You just cut it off!
313
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,720
It's like you're trying to come in first
but it's somebody else's race.
314
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,920
- It's like Egypt!
- It's amazing!
315
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,120
You never felt good enough,
so you took yourself out of the game.
316
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,440
To everyone who's ever been dumped
317
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,480
(ALL CHEERING)
318
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,680
and to everyone who has ever been fired,
319
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,680
(ALL CHEERING)
320
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,760
when I say, "Screw!" you say, "You!"
321
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,440
- Screw!
- ALL: You!
322
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,920
- Screw!
- ALL: You!
323
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,960
(ALL CHEERING)
324
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,000
Yes!
325
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,560
I think I just got to the point
where I wasn't even trying.
326
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,120
JOY: Why should you try?
327
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,360
I work 80 hours a week
and I don't even know why.
328
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,840
I've been so naughty!
329
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,000
Out of my way! Out of my way!
330
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,160
I'm not usually this honest.
331
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,120
I'm usually not this fun.
332
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,080
(SCREAMING)
333
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,800
(ALL CHEERING)
334
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,160
The best part is...
335
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,240
- We can really talk.
- Really connect.
336
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,840
Yeah, 'cause you're like the last person
on the planet I'd ever sleep with!
337
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,600
Ever! Ever! Ever!
338
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,160
JOY: This is gonna be fun!
339
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,120
(DOOR OPENS)
340
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,480
(DOOR CLOSES)
341
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,440
Oh, God. Please be fake. Please be fake.
342
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,080
(GASPS)
343
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,600
Oh, God.
344
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,400
(GASPING)
345
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,240
(SCREAMS)
346
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,480
No, no, please, please, please!
Oh, please, please, no!
347
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,040
You can't get divorced here, okay?
You gotta do it where you live.
348
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,680
Besides, you don't want a divorce,
all right? You want an annulment.
349
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,880
See, what happens in Vegas, you pay for
when you get back home.
350
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,000
That's what the thing is.
351
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,400
Was there any part of the night,
352
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,360
I don't know, maybe, say, the part where
I was about to marry the rebound guy,
353
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,840
that you thought, "Hey, oh my God!
354
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,280
"This is a really good time
for an intervention"?
355
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,320
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
356
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,000
I, like, threw up in my own purse, so...
357
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,840
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
358
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,080
- Hi!
- Good morning.
359
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,600
- Morning.
- Good morning.
360
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,320
Morning, morning, morning.
361
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,600
I could use some coffee.
362
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,400
Oh, God, yeah.
363
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,560
Well, what's mine is yours.
364
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,320
(BOTH LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
365
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,520
Here, well, you want to, uh...
366
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,080
JACK: Mi coffee es su coffee.
367
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,520
- JOY: This is good orange juice.
- Yeah. It's very good.
368
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,360
JACK: It's ridiculously good.
The orange juice is good.
369
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,160
- I don't usually like pulp. You a fan?
- Not really.
370
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,280
- Jack?
- Yes.
371
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,440
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yep.
372
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,240
Yes. Yep. Talk. Sure.
373
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,520
They're so cute together!
374
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,120
If I could make someone dead
with my mind, it would be you.
375
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,520
- Yo.
- Hey.
376
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,640
So!
377
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,480
- Great night, huh?
- Yeah!
378
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,520
I mean, you are a lot of fun, Joy.
379
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,720
- I am?
- Yeah!
380
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,200
A lot of fun. That... I mean, last night was
381
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,040
so
382
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,120
great.
383
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,280
Actually, you know, there was like...
Maybe there was one tiny little thing...
384
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,600
I think I know what you mean.
385
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,560
Okay, this...
386
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,960
There's no easy way to say this,
so I'm just going to...
387
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,160
Whoa, whoa. Wait. Are...
388
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:54,920
Are you
389
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,480
- dumping me?
- You didn't...
390
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,520
No! I was coming down here to dump you!
391
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,240
- Oh! Jeez... Okay, so we're good!
- Yeah!
392
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,640
- Okay, disaster averted!
- You said it!
393
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,000
- Yeah, no. Bullet dodged!
- You betcha!
394
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,040
I mean, pooch unscrewed! Free at last!
395
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,720
- Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.
- Okay. I got it, okay?
396
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,040
- Got it.
- Okay. I'm sorry. I...
397
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,040
You just seem like the type of girl
who's looking for a serious relationship,
398
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,920
and I'm not that... I mean, you... Like...
399
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,440
No offense,
but you seem like a lot of work.
400
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,560
Like it would take, like,
a team of guys, and I'm not...
401
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,240
Marriages are an outdated concept...
402
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,080
Are you dumping me again?
403
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,280
- I'm in a really weird place right now...
- Where's that, Jack? The starting line?
404
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:37,520
Because I have news for you, buddy.
The gun went off a long time ago.
405
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,880
Okay! Look at that!
Good luck with the job, huh?
406
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,400
"Employee handles criticism poorly!"
407
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,320
Well, then maybe
you should teach a seminar, Jack,
408
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,680
considering you can't even keep a job
with your own father!
409
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,920
You know, the one person who's
biologically programed to love you,
410
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,200
and even he can't stand you!
411
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,840
Look at that. You had to come all the way
to Vegas and marry a complete stranger
412
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,600
just to prove that you're not a robot.
Congratulations, Joy! That was a feeling!
413
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,080
Oh, I have a feeling, all right!
It's called nausea!
414
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,000
(IMITATING ROBOT) Yeah?
"Oh, I have a feeling, all right!
415
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,000
"It's called nausea!"
416
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,680
- How old are you, five?
- Six, actually. I'm six.
417
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:09,840
You know, this is why we'd never work.
418
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,920
'Cause I could never, ever be with
someone that's so completely broken!
419
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,360
- Broken?
- Broken!
420
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,520
Broken. You know what?
You don't even know me, mister!
421
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,200
No, I don't know you,
and I got a feeling that neither do you.
422
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,800
You know what?
I'll call you about the annulment.
423
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,360
How about this?
Why don't you just e-mail me?
424
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:27,880
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
425
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,560
- We'll always have Vegas!
- Hey! That's my quarter!
426
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,440
(JACKPOT ALARM RINGING)
427
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,560
(WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS PLAYING)
428
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:51,920
What the...
429
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,880
We are the champions, my friends
430
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,480
And we'll keep on fighting
till the end
431
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,760
I'm really, really rich!
I'm really, really rich!
432
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,240
We are the champions
433
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,080
That was my quarter!
434
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,640
We are the champions
435
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,240
- We did it!
- Richest man in the world!
436
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:15,240
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions
437
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,640
A big giant check! I'm so happy!
I've never been...
438
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,000
I'm really happy!
439
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,480
Oh, my God! That was my quarter!
440
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,520
(JOY LAUGHING)
441
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,680
(JACK LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
442
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,840
Congratulations!
You just quadrupled your investment!
443
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,600
What, you think this is all yours? God!
444
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,640
Yes, it's mine. I put the quarter
in the machine and I pulled the lever.
445
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,840
My quarter on the machine that I was
using, the one I loosened up for you!
446
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,080
That's right! Now if you'll excuse me,
447
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,920
I have a giant colorful check to deposit!
448
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,840
Whatever happened to
"What's mine is yours, baby"?
449
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,720
We're married now, remember?
450
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,560
More importantly, Your Honor, my client
only knew Miss McNally for four hours
451
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,120
before they "got married,"
452
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,920
three and a half of which were spent
in a state of
453
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,560
total inebriation.
454
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:07,280
Mmm-hmm.
455
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,640
You. Other one.
456
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,880
You have any evidence that you both
knowingly entered into this marriage,
457
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,360
that it's not just a sham?
458
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,760
Let me see.
459
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,200
Would a note do?
460
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,760
It's a start.
461
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,880
And then there's a photo.
462
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,720
Nice.
463
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:34,640
I didn't know anything about that.
464
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,200
There's also
465
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,200
- a video.
- And I am going to provide for her,
466
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,120
I'm gonna love her,
467
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,800
and I'm going to provide for her,
468
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,120
- 'cause we're married!
- Married!
469
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,240
(SCREAMING)
470
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,240
We're all gonna get laid!
471
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,240
Was that you, Cueball? His lawyer?
472
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,440
I didn't... I don't have my glasses on.
473
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:00,920
(CLEARS THROAT)
474
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,040
I don't like you.
475
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,800
I don't like any of you.
476
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,320
Your generation,
with your Vegas and your Internet
477
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,520
and your "I want it right now."
478
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,440
You know, gay people aren't destroying
the sanctity of marriage,
479
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:16,840
you people are.
480
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,400
Marriage is about love and commitment.
481
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,840
Listen, I've been married for 25 years
to the same wonderful, infuriating woman,
482
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,400
and granted, there are days
when I want to light her on fire,
483
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,960
but I don't, because I love her,
484
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:31,440
and that would be illegal.
485
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,320
And you know something?
I might be old-fashioned,
486
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:37,440
but when I said those vows out loud,
I meant them.
487
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,360
This guy is such a douche.
488
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,040
Before, or should I say if
489
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,440
I ever allow either of you
out of this marriage,
490
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,400
I'm going to make sure
that you try everything,
491
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,560
and I do mean everything, first
to make it work.
492
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,560
- Objection, Your Honor. You can't do that.
- Objection!
493
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,440
Watch me. Now, do either one of you
have a place to live?
494
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,800
I don't at the moment, Your Honor,
but I will.
495
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,600
You see, I...
496
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,760
My ex-fianc� and I broke up, and...
497
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,360
You know, Mrs. Fuller, you're not helping
make your case here, okay?
498
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,880
What about you, pretty boy?
You got a crash pad?
499
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,200
- Yes.
- Okay, great! We have a hearth!
500
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,640
I am freezing the $3 million
for the next six months
501
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,280
and sentencing you two
to six months hard marriage.
502
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,920
And so I can keep an eye on you,
503
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,120
I'm ordering you both
into weekly marital counseling.
504
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,040
I want you two to listen to me.
505
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:30,120
You better play by my rules on this,
or I'm gonna tie this money up in litigation
506
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,800
that is so long,
so protracted, so expensive
507
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,640
that neither one of you
will ever see a dime of it.
508
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:40,080
All right. Anything...
Oh, yeah! One more thing.
509
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,600
I now pronounce you man and wife!
510
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,920
Can he do that?
511
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,760
Yeah, he's the judge.
He can do whatever he wants.
512
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,600
And he clearly wants to make an example
out of you both.
513
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,480
If you just do what the guy says,
514
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,440
he's gonna be forced
to grant you a divorce.
515
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,840
- In which case...
- You would probably...
516
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:58,880
...split...
...the money...
517
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,480
...equally as marital property.
518
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,160
You didn't do anything in there!
519
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,480
- What?
- You didn't do anything!
520
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,360
I called her a vixen! I called her a vixen!
521
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:08,840
- So?
- So.
522
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,160
I can do anything for six months.
523
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,440
I can not wear pants for six months.
So if you aren't up to it...
524
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,080
Oh, I am so up to it.
525
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,520
And if you're trying to insinuate
that I'm the one that can't do this,
526
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,040
then you are sorely mistaken, short bus.
527
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,880
Whoa! Okay! So it's settled, then.
528
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,200
All right. Think of it
as a business arrangement.
529
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,080
Be married for six months,
get $1.5 million.
530
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,920
- How hard can it be?
- I know how hard it isn't.
531
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,240
Excuse me. Out of my way. Thank you.
532
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,000
- Oh, Jesus. Here.
- Great.
533
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:45,680
TIPPER: Smile for the camera.
534
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,160
Hi, hubby, it's me. Open up.
535
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,360
Hiya!
536
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:50,760
JACK: It's all the way at the top.
537
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:52,440
She's here.
538
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,560
(DOOR BUZZING)
539
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:54,720
Okay, don't overdo it, though.
540
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,520
Hey! Look what I brought my new hubby!
541
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,760
'Cause I want to please him,
and men, they like the beer.
542
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,960
Hey, look who's being a good wifey,
really trying to make her marriage work.
543
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,000
Oh, muffin pants, what a wonderful gift.
544
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,520
I'm going to buy you a big box of Tampax
just so I can thank you,
545
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,040
'cause that's what good husbands do.
546
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,840
Sorry, I can't control myself
when I'm around you,
547
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,920
I just love you so much!
548
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,080
Not as much as I love you!
549
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,440
(JACK SQUEALING)
550
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,760
Shall we, Mrs. Fuller?
551
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,400
Oh. Here. Let me get this.
552
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,880
- Let me get that. Oh.
- Wait a sec.
553
00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,040
Slippery. Slippery.
554
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,360
What?
555
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:45,720
(GRUNTING)
556
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:47,640
(JOY SCREAMS)
557
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,600
Sorry, baby,
just you're a little on the heavy side.
558
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,640
Welcome home, sweetheart.
559
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,880
You literally have a bar
in the middle of your living room.
560
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,240
It's not so bad.
561
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,160
I mean, I would never live here, ever, but...
562
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,920
What? I ran
the New York City Marathon, okay?
563
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,600
I can do this. I can totally do this.
564
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,440
(GASPS)
565
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:10,640
JOY: Oh, my God.
566
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:12,920
I can't do this!
567
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,440
Don't throw any of that hair away, okay?
568
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,880
I'm saving it up
to make you something special,
569
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,360
like a hat or a sweater.
570
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,360
I still haven't decided yet.
571
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,560
Do you train monkeys in here?
572
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,840
Seriously! It's one thing if you like a guy,
you put up with disgusting stuff like this,
573
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,160
but you I don't care for, so clean it up.
574
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,600
I'm not here under court order,
so I'm going to take off.
575
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,160
- Later, buddy.
- Bye.
576
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,320
$1.5 million.
577
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,440
Here. These are antibacterial. Get to work.
578
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,600
That looks like it's gonna be
comfortable for you.
579
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,400
Where's the bedroom?
580
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,200
- Uh... It's in there.
- Sweet dreams.
581
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,360
Yeah.
582
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,280
What is this?
583
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,040
(SCREAMS)
584
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,440
Ooh. That was close.
585
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,840
- That stinks.
- Just a little bit of me.
586
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,160
- Oh, God!
- And some other people. Whatever.
587
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:27,760
(EX CLAIMS)
588
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,560
- Do you need some help?
- Yeah, I do, as a matter of fact.
589
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,400
You should probably call somebody.
590
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:43,440
What?
591
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,000
- To help you.
- Okay, can I sleep on the couch?
592
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:47,080
No.
593
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:00,160
(BLENDER WHIRRING)
594
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:01,200
(EX CLAIMS)
595
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:04,960
Smoothies!
596
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,840
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
597
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,720
- Hon?
- Yeah.
598
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,280
If I could just get in there for a sec.
599
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:14,760
I'm almost done. I'll be right out.
600
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,520
No, no. "Be right out"
is not really gonna work.
601
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,400
Like, be right out right now.
602
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:20,440
I'm almost done!
603
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,000
(GROANING)
604
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,360
(METALLIC CLATTER)
605
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,160
Okay...
606
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,240
(JACK EXHALING)
607
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,040
Oh, yeah, this is happening.
608
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,760
You only have yourself to blame.
609
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,280
By the way, it's your day on dishes.
610
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,120
(TOILET FLUSHING)
611
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:52,960
(EX CLAIMS)
612
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:54,440
JOY: Freak.
613
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:55,760
Where do you get your underwear?
The hospital?
614
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,440
- What?
- Seriously, what's up with the P.E. bra?
615
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:02,160
Well, it's comfy and supportive,
like a man should be.
616
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,200
You women. In the beginning it's all, like,
laces and rainbows and trapdoors.
617
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,760
As soon as you get married, it's nothing
but these flesh tones and PMS pants.
618
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,280
You might as well wear a placard
around your neck
619
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,600
- that says, "We're not having sex, ever."
- Ever!
620
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:14,760
- Ever.
- Ever!
621
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,440
What happened to the purple bra
from Vegas? That was nice.
622
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,640
I'm going to save that
for my non-retarded husband.
623
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:21,960
(MOCKING)
624
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,080
Well, the grownups have to go
to work today.
625
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,680
- What are you going to do all day?
- I don't know yet.
626
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,160
I'd rather do nothing and be happy
than do something I know I don't love.
627
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,000
Words to live by, Yanni.
628
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,960
Beat it, worker drone.
Tell the man I say hi.
629
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,920
- Whatever, loser.
- Hey, don't get hit by a bus.
630
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,360
Or do. Whatever.
631
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,360
(YOU SEXY THING PLAYING)
632
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,400
I believe in miracles
633
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,280
Where you from,
you sexy thing
634
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,600
I believe in miracles
635
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,480
(ALL SHOUTING)
636
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:56,120
Since you came along,
you sexy thing
637
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,240
(EX CLAIMING)
638
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,720
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
639
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,800
- McNally.
- MAN: What are you wearing, baby?
640
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,800
- Who is this?
- BANGER: Your boss.
641
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,400
Get the Chonger
and get up here right away.
642
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,480
Coming right up! Okay.
Banger needs to see us upstairs.
643
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,040
After 15 years of loyal service,
we're dumping Bob whats his name,
644
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,040
which means that this office
is gonna be up for grabs.
645
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,200
So, I'm going to promote one of you skirts
out of the pit.
646
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,080
And that's not sexual harassment.
Believe me, I've checked.
647
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,440
You're my top guns, girls. Do me proud.
648
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,000
Thank you, sir.
649
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,600
So! I guess I'll be Maverick
and you can be Goose.
650
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,640
Be whoever you want to be,
you'll still gonna be my subordinate.
651
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,360
- Excuse me?
- It's from the Latin, meaning "my bitch."
652
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,320
- What is wrong with you?
- I eat girls like you.
653
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,360
- Oh, you eat girls!
- Not like that.
654
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:47,400
- Makes total sense.
- It shouldn't.
655
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,800
- No judgments.
- But I'm not...
656
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:49,960
Just saying.
657
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,240
Ready to do this?
658
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,000
Pretend like you don't make me vomit
in my nose every time I look at you?
659
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:03,880
Yes.
660
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,800
So, Jack, tell me about yourself.
What are your hobbies?
661
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,040
Hobbies.
662
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,960
You mean, besides my marriage?
663
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,720
My hobbies.
664
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,840
Mostly, I just like loving her.
665
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,680
It's just so easy.
666
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:24,400
What else?
667
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:30,280
Listening. I love listening
to what she has to say. It's just...
668
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,600
In fact, actually,
I carry this notebook around with me,
669
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,440
just so I can write it down,
because usually it's so important.
670
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:42,080
What else?
I think just being there for her, in general.
671
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,560
Loving her until it hurts.
672
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,600
It hurts.
673
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,840
That's... I don't know,
that's probably most of my interests.
674
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,800
Joy?
675
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,440
I'd have to agree.
676
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,920
And I'd have to add, you know,
677
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,280
staring at him.
678
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:06,560
Yeah. I mean, I just love watching him be.
679
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,920
I love everything about him.
680
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,280
Most people would be repulsed,
681
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,320
you know, to find his socks
and his dirty underwear
682
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,080
sort of down shoved
in the bottom of the bed,
683
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,720
touching them in the middle of the night.
684
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,040
They might want to try
to, like, scrub and scrub and scrub
685
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,920
and try to get the stains
and the scent off of them, but...
686
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,680
Not me. I just... I love it!
687
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,600
I just...
I kind of want to just roll around in it!
688
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,280
Her candles smell awesome!
689
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,000
You know, I do have a few degrees,
690
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,560
and I went to a bunch
of really expensive schools.
691
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:49,240
Anyway, I'm not buying any of the bullshit
you two are selling today.
692
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,800
Now, if you want me to report back
to the court
693
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,600
that you're both working
on your marriage,
694
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,200
you're gonna actually have to do that.
695
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:57,760
(LOVEPLAYING)
696
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:06,160
And love
Such a silly game we play, oh!
697
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,600
Like a summer's day in May
What is love, what is love?
698
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:15,040
I just want it to be love
Oh! Oh! Oh!
699
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:22,680
I, I, I, I, I
I can feel it in your kiss
700
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:27,280
It just gives me tender bliss
What is love, what is love?
701
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,520
I just want it to be love
702
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:33,000
Yes, that is the topping I wanted
on my popcorn:
703
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,800
I know that the box said
"movie theater butter,"
704
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,640
but, you guessed it,
705
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,200
what I really wanted
was Jack's Sweaty Ballsack flavor.
706
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,400
Thanks.
707
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,760
Uh! Uh! Uh! Love
708
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:50,120
Who can tell me I am lost?
What is love, what is love?
709
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,880
I'm just giving you
what you wanted, baby.
710
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:59,800
Pay attention.
See how it goes up and down. Okay?
711
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,200
It goes up,
712
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,360
and then it goes down. Like that.
713
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,560
See that? Isn't that magical? Amazing.
714
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,800
Watch one more time. One more time.
715
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:13,320
It goes up, right? And then it goes down.
716
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,920
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
717
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,240
(JOY SCREAMING)
718
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,280
(SPLASHES)
719
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:30,640
(JOY SCREAMING)
720
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,480
JOY: No, no, no, no! Why?
721
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,800
I really, really need to get in there!
722
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,720
Why don't you just use
your special bathroom?
723
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,200
There's no heavy side!
724
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,400
- You got the window!
- No, that's actually the light side.
725
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,400
- Where's the bathroom door?
- We got robbed.
726
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,720
And all they took was the door.
727
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,640
$1.5 million.
728
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,600
Marriage is hard!
729
00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:14,280
I don't know how people do this.
It's unnatural.
730
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,960
Men and women are not meant to coexist.
731
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,240
And I haven't had sex in forever.
I mean, forever!
732
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,240
And I need to have sex,
'cause I'm good at it!
733
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,400
That's a self-esteem booster for me.
734
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,360
- I don't know if I can do this, man.
- Oh, really?
735
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,080
'Cause I haven't been sensing that at all.
736
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,560
That's why I did a little research.
737
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,120
I've been looking through some case law,
738
00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:36,080
you know, some precedent
to help us get around the ruling.
739
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,040
And I think I found one. Lafferty v. Holden.
740
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,640
You know, Tip,
I don't know if I can do this.
741
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:44,520
Then we go to plan B.
742
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,600
Mother's third marriage
was to this 20-year-old
743
00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:49,400
club-footed Cuban bartender
who came into a ton of money.
744
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,480
The court said
that if they both wanted the money,
745
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,240
they had to remain married and prove
they can make it work. Sound familiar?
746
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,240
Mother wasn't going to see a cent of that,
747
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,440
but then she proved
that he'd been unfaithful,
748
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,520
and the judge ruled in her favor.
749
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:00,720
And gave her all the money.
750
00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:02,560
And gave her all the money.
751
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,320
See, the judge said that you had to prove
752
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,040
that you were trying
to make the marriage work.
753
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,440
But if we can make it seem like she isn't...
754
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,160
I don't know
why I haven't thought of this before!
755
00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:13,920
- Because you're not a very good lawyer.
- Oh, my God.
756
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,720
There should be a law
against how bad a lawyer I am.
757
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:17,800
But then again, I wouldn't know about it!
758
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,640
So if I can get Jack to end the marriage
by either leaving me
759
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:22,960
or cheating on me...
760
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,520
Not only would you get out
of the marriage...
761
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,920
- You will also get the full $3 million.
- Oh, my God.
762
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,920
- I love you! I want to kiss you.
- You want to kiss me?
763
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,040
On your big, beautiful,
prematurely balding man dome.
764
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,280
All right! All right. Okay.
765
00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:36,680
- Game on, sister!
- Game on!
766
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,520
- Game on.
- Game on.
767
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,000
Destroy it. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus!
768
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,560
(I WANTA NEWDRUG PLAYING)
769
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,920
There are some refinery problems
in the South,
770
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,600
- so let's keep our eye on crude oil.
- Oh, that's too bad.
771
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:05,920
And I just heard a rumor
772
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,960
that the platinum futures
are gonna be very active today.
773
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,040
Yes!
774
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:12,120
Yeah!
775
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,320
(EX CLAIMS)
776
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,160
I mean, really, let's do this mother!
Oh, my God.
777
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:19,440
Right, guys? I mean, let's buy shit!
Let's buy shit!
778
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,480
Do you see that? Do you see that, people?
779
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,720
That's exactly the kind of spirit
I'm talking about!
780
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,480
- You go, girl!
- Yes!
781
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:29,120
(CHONG AND JOY EX CLAIM)
782
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,640
Oh, my God, seriously, you guys!
783
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,040
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
What are we doing? What are we doing?
784
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,560
What's happening? What's happening?
Oh, my God.
785
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,960
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!
786
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:00,720
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
787
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:03,960
- Hi.
- Hi.
788
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,000
We got locked out of our apartment.
789
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,320
Would you mind if we just waited in here
until the locksmith comes?
790
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,880
He said it would only be a few hours.
791
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,280
A few...
792
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,120
Sure.
793
00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:17,280
- Thank you!
- Great!
794
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,200
Also, we were supposed to have
some friends over tonight.
795
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,880
Do you mind if they waited in here, too?
796
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,200
I'll jump on that grenade, too, I suppose.
797
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,640
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
798
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,600
- Thank you so much.
- No, thank you. Thank you.
799
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,400
Welcome to my humble abode.
800
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,240
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
801
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,800
Those are probably my friends.
802
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,920
- Hi.
- Hi.
803
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,560
We're the friends.
804
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,280
- You look like the friends. You do.
- Hi.
805
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:47,400
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
806
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,960
- Hey.
- There is a hot girl party going on
807
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,200
- in my living room.
- What are you talking about?
808
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,760
I'm talking about the fact that there are
a buttload of beautiful women...
809
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,120
Oh, my God. Okay, there's a pillow fight
about to break out.
810
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,920
Oh, my God. Dude, it's a trap.
811
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,680
No, it's not! No! This happens!
812
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,280
No! It doesn't happen!
813
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,880
HA TER: Get out of the house!
Get out of the house right now!
814
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,360
She must have figured out
the same thing we did.
815
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,840
Okay, just because Joy sets a trap
816
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:14,160
doesn't mean we can't play at
the same game.
817
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:16,280
You call Bear, you call every guy we know.
818
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:17,960
And get some boring stockbroker
kind of guys,
819
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,400
the kind of guys
you and me would beat up.
820
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:20,640
The more boring, the better.
821
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,720
She has no idea
what she's gotten herself into.
822
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,240
(HIPHOPMUSIC PLA YING ON STEREO)
823
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,480
JOY: You okay?
824
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,560
In here, guys. Yo, Jack, what up?
825
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,520
This chick's the reason
we're not spending our money right now.
826
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,800
This chick is the reason
I'm not having a six-way right now!
827
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,760
- Hey.
- Hey.
828
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,120
So, look. This isn't working.
I think we need to call in some sluts.
829
00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:58,480
- Sluts? I know sluts.
- Make the call.
830
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,760
Which one of these ugly losers
is ruining your life?
831
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,280
That one. The pink parade over there.
832
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,360
That's your wife?
833
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,240
Oh, my God, she is so f-ing hot!
834
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,120
What is wrong with you?
835
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,600
Pick a team. Pick a team.
Pick a team! Right now! Pick a team.
836
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,080
- Come on.
- Hers. Hers! Hers!
837
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,480
Listen up, girls. Do whatever you need
to do to get into his pants.
838
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,440
Ignore her.
Don't even make eye contact with her.
839
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:30,120
Look at every girl in here except for her.
It'll drive her crazy.
840
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:31,760
Get him drunk. It'll slip right out.
841
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:32,840
ALL: Go!
842
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:41,400
Hi.
843
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,040
Oh, I get it.
844
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,000
I get what you guys are doing. Okay.
845
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,320
Well, I'm going to...
Thank you. Sorry. Excuse me.
846
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,760
Oh, God!
847
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:02,520
If you need anybody to talk to,
you know, just let me know.
848
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,600
- Thanks.
- Get out of here. Get out of here.
849
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,960
Get out of here!
Get out of here, both of you!
850
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,000
I'll give her the money!
851
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:13,480
- I'll give her the money!
- No, no, no, no, no.
852
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,480
(BANGING ON DOOR)
853
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:15,600
Oh, shit.
854
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,160
I'm here about a noise complaint!
855
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:18,920
(BOTTLE CLATTERING)
856
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,760
Someone called to complain
that you're not making enough noise!
857
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,400
(ALL CHEERING)
858
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:31,600
- This is the best party ever!
- This is the greatest party ever!
859
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,000
I'm arrested! You guys, I'm arrested!
860
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:45,360
Hey.
861
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,360
Sorry. I was just trying to find some quiet
862
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,840
- from the craziness out there.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm... Beer?
863
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:55,160
Sure.
864
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,080
Do you really think that I'm dumb enough
to cheat on you?
865
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,560
I think it's only a matter of time,
866
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,680
and, yeah, I think you're more
than dumb enough.
867
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,560
Thank you for the vote of confidence.
868
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,040
I appreciate that.
869
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,880
This must be so hard for you.
870
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:15,440
- What?
- Being in a relationship.
871
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,360
Okay. I've been in relationships before,
all right?
872
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,200
Oh, come on, Jack.
873
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,840
I know you.
Don't forget, I have been living with you.
874
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:29,120
You're not exactly serious
boyfriend/husband material, okay?
875
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,720
- Well, this must be hard for you, too.
- Really?
876
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,880
Yeah, being married to me when
you're so clearly in love with your ex.
877
00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:43,120
- I'm not in love with him.
- Right.
878
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:44,600
Then why are you still wearing the ring
on your finger?
879
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,840
Because my current husband
bought me one
880
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,000
out of a vending machine in Vegas.
881
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,880
All I know is, if I get dumped on my ass,
882
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,120
I'm not wearing the ring
unless I'm still in love with him.
883
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,160
- I'm not in love with him, okay?
- Okay! Right.
884
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,040
In fact, I'm happy
I'm not with him anymore.
885
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,600
I spent the last four years of my life
886
00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:02,080
trying to be
somebody else's idea of perfect,
887
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,640
and you know what?
I still don't feel good enough for him.
888
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:11,040
(CHUCKLES)
889
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,440
Okay, that's not what I meant, okay?
I just...
890
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,640
Hey! Don't worry!
Your secret's safe with me.
891
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,520
Oh, you're such an ass.
892
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,000
You know what? It's irrelevant now,
893
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,920
because I don't care
if I ever see him again.
894
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,280
Wow. Thank you, baby.
895
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:34,640
- That makes me feel so, so, so special.
- You know what? It has nothing
896
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,680
- to do with you, Jack.
- By the way, don't worry about me,
897
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:37,960
- because I'm a married man.
- Yeah.
898
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,480
We don't need to have sex.
And I'll tell you another thing.
899
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,720
I'm not going anywhere,
'cause I am not screwing this thing up.
900
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,920
Neither am I,
'cause I am in it for the long haul, Jack.
901
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,240
- Till death do us part.
- Not unless I kill you first.
902
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,200
- It's like she's always there!
- He doesn't do anything all day, okay?
903
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,320
- Left, right, up, down!
- It's like he's not even a grownup, okay?
904
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:06,920
- I don't have an ounce of space...
- He does nothing...
905
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,560
...for just me! Just me!
...all day long!
906
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,080
- And I swear to God...
- I think he's trying to drive me crazy!
907
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:12,920
- The other night, we had this party...
- He peed in the sink!
908
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,480
...and everywhere I look...
- I mean, what kind of man animal...
909
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,360
...it's just hot tit and ass everywhere!
...pees in the sink?
910
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,600
- It's like he doesn't even want...
- It's like she doesn't even want...
911
00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:21,720
...this marriage to work!
...this marriage to work!
912
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,800
All right. You're arguing.
913
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,000
Now that felt like a real married couple.
914
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,960
You're making progress.
915
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:37,360
What am I doing here?
916
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,760
Oh, we could kidnap her
until after the hearing.
917
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,360
- She could stay at my place.
- HATER: Oh, my God, I got it!
918
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:54,920
We make it look
like she gave you some kind of disease!
919
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,280
I can have a vial of crabs here
in 30 minutes.
920
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:58,480
First, we give them to you,
921
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,520
and then, you know,
we get somebody to give them to her
922
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,160
so it looks like she gave them to you.
923
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,600
You really hadn't thought
that one through, had you?
924
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,600
I'll give her the crabs, easily.
925
00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:11,280
- No more ideas from you.
- Oh, I've got it! It's perfect!
926
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,800
This is great!
927
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:14,920
Like that!
928
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:16,200
- What are you doing?
- What?
929
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,800
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Relax, relax, relax. Relax!
930
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,880
Stay with me on this one.
931
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:22,480
Huh?
932
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,760
God damn it! No, you don't get it!
Dude, you don't get it!
933
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:31,920
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
934
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,600
Jack, what happened to your face?
935
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,360
- I fell.
- You fell?
936
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,400
Yeah.
937
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,120
I hit my head on a doorknob.
938
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,160
A few times.
939
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,200
I fall a lot these days. I'm just...
940
00:47:58,320 --> 00:47:59,800
I'm so clumsy.
941
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:02,800
Jack, are you sure
that's what happened to you?
942
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,520
Sure someone else didn't do this to you?
943
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,440
I deserve it.
944
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,720
I'm supposed...
945
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,760
I'm supposed to line up the hand towels
just so, and I didn't...
946
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,600
I didn't do it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
947
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,800
Then she said,
"You put that toilet seat down,
948
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,400
"or I will put you down!"
949
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:27,040
And I forgot, and she said,
"I'll show you how to put it down!
950
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,040
"I'll stick your head in there
and I will make it stay! " Oh, God!
951
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:31,440
...Look real, but don't, like...
- All right.
952
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:33,360
- Oh, God!
- What?
953
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,280
He's gotta make it look real
so it seems like she was beating you!
954
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:37,800
Not that real!
955
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,280
(GRUNTING)
956
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,440
- Yeah!
- That sucker's gonna show, dude!
957
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:42,800
Hey, come on. Come on.
958
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,480
Can we get back to therapy now?
959
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:48,560
Yes.
960
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:50,800
Yes, we can.
961
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:58,760
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
962
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,080
JACK ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hi, you've reached the happy couple.
963
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,960
JOY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
We can't come to the phone right now
964
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:06,280
because we're busy loving each other.
965
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:07,880
JACK: And making our marriage work.
966
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,640
JACK: Leave a message!
JOY: Leave a message!
967
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:10,920
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hi. This is Annette calling
968
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,960
from Dr. Twitchell's office.
969
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:14,320
Hello.
970
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,320
- Yes, Mrs. Fuller?
- Yes.
971
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,480
The doctor needed
to cancel today's session,
972
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,440
and she was wondering
if you could do Friday?
973
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,840
Do you have anything
after 3:00 p.m., possibly?
974
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:26,200
- The doctor can do 4:00.
- Oh, perfect.
975
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:27,880
- That works for me.
- We'll see you then.
976
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,440
- Great, see you then.
- Thanks so much.
977
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,920
- She totally bought it.
- Beautiful. Beautiful.
978
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,640
- Beautiful.
- You owe me.
979
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,600
(SINGING) Come on with your come on
You don't fight fair
980
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:45,640
That's okay, see if I care
981
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,760
Blah, blah, blah, blah...
982
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,200
Hit me with your best shot
983
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,200
Fire away
984
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:54,640
(DOOR CLOSES)
985
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,480
Hello?
986
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:00,600
Jack?
987
00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:05,240
JACK: Taxi!
988
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,880
JACK: Come on, man! Hey!
989
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,960
- Hey, hey, hey!
- JOY: Wait a minute.
990
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:15,720
Oh, come on!
991
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,560
Twitchell... Twitchell...
992
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:22,360
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
993
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,280
Dr. Twitchell speaking.
994
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,840
- Yes, hi, this is Joy Fuller.
- Mrs. Fuller.
995
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,440
Yes. I got a phone call from Annette
996
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,440
saying that our session
was canceled today.
997
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,840
- I just wanted to double-check that.
- Your session is definitely still on.
998
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,760
And any absence
is considered contempt of court.
999
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:38,800
It is?
1000
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,200
Asshole! Trying to get me
to miss therapy!
1001
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,360
75th and Riverside, and step on it!
1002
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:49,880
Okay.
1003
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:51,680
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1004
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:54,880
- What?
- Hey!
1005
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,320
Good luck paying for that cab
without your wallet.
1006
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:58,920
(EX CLAIMS)
1007
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,720
Only five dollars?
1008
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:02,360
You stole my wallet?
1009
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:03,960
(TAXI BRAKING)
1010
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,360
Lost your wallet, huh? Get out.
1011
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,560
Come on. What do you want?
We can work something out here.
1012
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,280
- Show me your breasts.
- What?
1013
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:14,000
You'd be surprised how often it happens.
1014
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,520
- Okay, one breast. That's all you get.
- All right.
1015
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:20,440
(TAXI SPEEDING AWAY)
1016
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:21,920
(GRUNTS)
1017
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,840
CAB DRIVER: Nothing like a nice boob.
JOY: What is your problem?
1018
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,000
CAB DRIVER: What? I like breasts. Sue me.
1019
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:28,640
Is there any way around this?
1020
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,560
Does it look
like there is a way around this?
1021
00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:33,400
(JACK LAUGHING)
1022
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:34,760
(ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL PLAYING)
1023
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,080
Go!
1024
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,920
So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
1025
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,520
Because you look so fine
And I really wanna make you mine
1026
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,760
- How many for 10 of these?
- Ten for $2.
1027
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:45,960
- Okay. Here, take five.
- Okay.
1028
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,200
Now you don't need that money
when you look like that, do ya honey
1029
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,360
(EX CLAIMS)
1030
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:51,640
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
1031
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:56,280
I know we
ain't got much to say
1032
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,840
Before I let you get away, yeah!
1033
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,080
TOUR GUIDE: There's Brooklyn.
Very exciting. Everyone, back on the bus!
1034
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,160
What a day, huh?
1035
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:17,640
Is this seat taken?
1036
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,280
Pardon. Excuse me. Sorry.
1037
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,600
- You are so immature!
- Please, woman!
1038
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:25,560
Go away!
1039
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,960
- That really hurt!
- Oh, no! You're hurting me!
1040
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,640
TOUR GUIDE: And here we are,
Central Park.
1041
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:32,160
Yes, isn't it beautiful?
1042
00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:36,400
Half an hour, people. That's 30 minutes
for those on the metric system.
1043
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,480
I'll take that! You mind?
1044
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:45,080
- WOMAN: What?
- Thank you!
1045
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:46,240
MAN: Hey!
1046
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:51,240
Well I could see
you home with me
1047
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:55,720
But you were with another man, yeah!
1048
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,240
I know we
ain't got much to say
1049
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:00,440
JOY: Idiot!
1050
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:04,480
Before I let you get away, yeah!
1051
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,840
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1052
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,280
I said are you gonna be my girl?
1053
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,760
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1054
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,240
JACK SR: No, you're wrong.
You can't remember anything.
1055
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,360
MRS. FULLER: You're remembering
your first date with somebody else!
1056
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:38,920
JACK SR: No! It was not our first date!
1057
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,000
You keep thinking that. You always did.
You are demented!
1058
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:43,480
JACK SR: It was not!
MRS. FULLER: It was!
1059
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:44,520
MRS. FULLER: Your memory...
1060
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:45,920
JACK SR: Mine?
You can't remember the date!
1061
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:47,560
Yes, it's your...
1062
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:49,800
Hi, honey! Welcome home!
1063
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:51,440
Mom! Dad!
1064
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,640
What are you doing here?
1065
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,360
Well, I got a message from your parents,
1066
00:53:56,480 --> 00:54:00,200
and I thought I'd surprise you
and invite them over for dinner.
1067
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,560
You know that I've never
been invited over here?
1068
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,600
No! Really?
1069
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:08,280
MRS. FULLER: Why didn't you tell us
you got married?
1070
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,240
I know you're still mad at me
about the firing,
1071
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,520
but you get married and you don't tell us?
1072
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:14,640
JACK SR: That is very, very hurtful.
1073
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,040
- Especially...
- Dad, I...
1074
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,120
Especially when it's a catch like Joy here.
1075
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:20,760
- What?
- Well...
1076
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,040
MRS. FULLER: We're so proud of you, Jack!
1077
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:25,640
We didn't think you'd ever settle down.
1078
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:29,640
But then we met this wonderful girl.
You couldn't have done better!
1079
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:31,480
JACK SR: We are very proud of you, Son.
1080
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,920
- Okay. Love biscuit?
- Yes, tinkle monkey?
1081
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,280
Can I speak to you for one second?
1082
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:37,640
Of course!
1083
00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:39,440
He probably just wants
to give me a big smooch.
1084
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:40,680
We haven't seen each other all day!
1085
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,480
My God!
How weird is it going to be in court
1086
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,440
when your parents are
character witnesses for me?
1087
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:50,600
Well, obviously, you haven't
told them everything.
1088
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:52,720
No, I was waiting for you to do that.
1089
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,400
What if we didn't?
1090
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:00,600
What would it take for you to just
keep this our little secret for a little bit?
1091
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,000
I want the bathroom door back.
1092
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:07,240
And I want the toilet seat left the F down.
1093
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:08,400
No.
1094
00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:10,440
- One time up...
- I got it.
1095
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:11,720
...and I make the call.
1096
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:12,960
- Done.
- Okay.
1097
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,280
Well, Jack, Sr., you know, it is just so nice
1098
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,880
to finally meet the man
who has taught Jack everything he knows.
1099
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,920
- I tried.
- JOY: Well, something must've stuck.
1100
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,680
Do you know he made this bar
we're sitting at?
1101
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,040
Isn't it beautiful? I mean, look.
1102
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:28,360
Dovetail's off on the corner.
1103
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:30,680
JACK SR: It's off!
1104
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,640
Well, I think it's great.
1105
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,720
I actually think that Jack
could sell his furniture.
1106
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,120
I don't know.
That would require actually finishing it.
1107
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:41,480
Maybe you should try telling Jack
you don't want him to finish it,
1108
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,920
then maybe he would actually do it.
1109
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,640
(ALL LAUGHING)
1110
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,200
What are you doing on Saturday?
1111
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,720
You've got to come to Uncle Pat's
birthday in the park with us.
1112
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:52,320
I would love to.
1113
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:54,960
She went after my family!
1114
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,040
Dude, you're letting this chick
get in your head.
1115
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:58,520
Yeah, I know.
1116
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,240
Now I'm going to figure out
how to get into hers.
1117
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:04,120
You should never let a chick
get in your head.
1118
00:56:04,240 --> 00:56:07,200
That's why I prefer
not to even talk to my dates.
1119
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:13,320
Yes!
1120
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,440
Why didn't I think of this before?
If she's going to play dirty, so am I.
1121
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:23,920
- Hi.
- Hey. Jameson, on the rocks.
1122
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:31,880
- You're Mason, right?
- Yeah.
1123
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,720
I'm Jack Fuller. I'm a friend of Joy's.
1124
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:36,000
- Joy's?
- Yeah.
1125
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,480
I just wanted to give you this back.
1126
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:40,840
She threw it in the trash.
1127
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:43,400
But, you know, guy code, I couldn't just
let it end up in the trash.
1128
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:45,480
I mean, you spent, what, like,
five, six thousand on this thing.
1129
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,400
Actually, thirty grand.
1130
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:50,240
I got it.
1131
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,520
All right. Well, thanks.
1132
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,040
Okay.
1133
00:57:00,240 --> 00:57:01,920
Hey, how's she doing?
1134
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,400
You know, she's good.
1135
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:08,320
She's probably put on some weight,
though, right?
1136
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:10,200
From all the emotional eating
due to the break-up?
1137
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,360
You really lived up to the billing.
You know that?
1138
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:14,720
Joy told me
what an impressive guy you are.
1139
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:15,840
Oh! Yeah.
1140
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,920
She said she was trying to be
so perfect, because
1141
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:23,920
deep down, she never really felt
like she was good enough to be with you.
1142
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:27,080
But those insecurities are long gone now.
1143
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:30,040
She's really come into her own.
She's on fire!
1144
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:32,760
I'll tell you what, she not gonna be
on the open market for very long.
1145
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:35,240
- It's a feeding frenzy out there!
- A feeding frenzy, huh? Yeah.
1146
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,200
Well, I gotta get going.
1147
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:40,960
My Uncle Pat is having a birthday party
tomorrow in Grove Park.
1148
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:42,120
Joy and I are going.
1149
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:45,520
Anyway, I gotta go pick up the present
she got for him. Bag of weed!
1150
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:46,960
- Her idea!
- Really?
1151
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:48,680
- She's on fire!
- Wow.
1152
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:49,960
On fire.
1153
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:53,360
Well, thanks again.
1154
00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,040
(HEYMAN NOW YOU'RE REALL YLIVING
PLAYING)
1155
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:00,560
Stripper! Hiya!
1156
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,520
- I so want to junk punch that guy.
- What's with you and junk punching?
1157
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:05,560
- Joy?
- Hi!
1158
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:07,760
I'm so glad you could make it.
Hey, sweetie.
1159
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,280
- Hi! This is my girlfriend, Tipper.
- Hi, Tipper. Judy.
1160
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:13,320
- Thanks for calling.
- Where's Jack?
1161
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,160
He's over there,
coaching the Little League.
1162
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,600
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1163
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,120
And cry your guts out till you got no more
1164
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,200
Come on, sweetheart.
I want my new daughter-in-law
1165
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,760
- to meet the whole family.
- Smile!
1166
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:28,040
JACK: One, two, three,
1167
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,160
- Rockets!
- Rockets!
1168
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,200
Who wants sugar? Let's go!
1169
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,040
What is this, like a five-foot hoagie?
1170
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:35,920
- Hi!
- Hi.
1171
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:40,240
This is my niece, and BFF,
the great Sammy Sosa.
1172
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:44,640
Sammy, this is your Aunt Joy.
1173
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:46,640
- Nice to meet you, Sammy.
- Hi, Joy.
1174
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,320
I didn't know you coached Little League.
1175
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,280
Oh, there's a lot of things you don't know
about me. Isn't that right?
1176
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:55,720
Jack wore a little fedora
and a leather jacket to school
1177
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:57,240
every day for six months.
1178
00:58:57,360 --> 00:58:59,840
Who wouldn't want to be Indiana Jones?
1179
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,400
I agree completely. I mean,
1180
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:05,320
Raiders of the Lost Ark may be
the greatest movie ever made.
1181
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:13,360
- I don't think I like what's going on here.
- What, are we bonding now?
1182
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,080
She doesn't seem so bad, Uncle Jack.
1183
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,480
I think you guys should just
split the money and stay married.
1184
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:21,880
Make a hundred pretty babies.
1185
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,040
You told her?
1186
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:28,640
Yeah, I don't have secrets from Sammy.
I tell her everything.
1187
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:32,040
Hey man now you're really living
1188
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:37,840
Well I just saw the sun rise over the hill
Never used to give me much of a thrill
1189
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,320
But hey man now you're really living
1190
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:45,080
Well, ladies, I believe
this is where we go our separate ways.
1191
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:46,800
Thank you.
1192
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,960
People sing
1193
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:55,680
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1194
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:58,440
And cry your guts out till you got no more
1195
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,440
Hey man now you're really living
1196
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:02,680
Joy!
1197
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:04,240
Mason.
1198
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,320
- What are you doing here?
- I was just visiting some friends.
1199
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,920
- In Brooklyn?
- Well, yeah. Yeah.
1200
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,360
Brooklyn. The B.K. Love it here.
1201
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:13,960
MASON: Yeah, they're artists. Yeah.
1202
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:16,680
Hey, you want to go grab a glass of vino?
Maybe chat up for a bit?
1203
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:20,600
I can't right now. Sorry.
1204
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:24,520
- Okay, all right. Well, maybe next week.
- I have my retreat.
1205
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,880
Wow!
1206
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,240
You seem fine.
1207
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:35,080
No, I mean, you look great.
Doesn't she look great? You look great.
1208
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:36,800
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
1209
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:38,680
I... Yeah.
1210
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,200
- I gotta go.
- Yeah, me, too. Me, too.
1211
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:45,000
- All right, well, maybe some other time.
- Yeah.
1212
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:46,760
Good seeing you.
Good bumping into you like that. Weird.
1213
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:49,120
Take care.
1214
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,680
- Oh, my God. You're falling for her.
- What?
1215
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:59,680
- You're falling for your wife! You idiot!
- What are you talking about?
1216
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:02,280
- She's a wily temptress.
- "A wily temptress."
1217
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:03,720
- Yes!
- You just said "wily temptress."
1218
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,560
Yes, I did, because that is what she is.
1219
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:08,360
And what do wily temptresses do, Jack?
1220
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:12,360
They tempt in a wily fashion.
And then they play you.
1221
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:17,040
Tempt, play, tempt, play.
And she's playing you, my friend.
1222
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:20,200
Don't let her play you
out of what is rightfully yours.
1223
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:24,160
Keep your eyes on the prize, Jack!
Eyes on the prize.
1224
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,760
Hey, McNally.
What'd you do, take the weekend off?
1225
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:36,880
- Oh...
- Have fun?
1226
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,080
No, I remember when I didn't care
about my career, either.
1227
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:42,960
I'm sorry, I just had this thing
this weekend with my husband's family...
1228
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:44,800
Your husband? You got married?
1229
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:47,040
Well, thanks for the invite.
I didn't even know you had a boyfriend.
1230
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:49,320
Yeah, no, I'm married.
I didn't tell you that?
1231
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,320
No, you didn't.
I guess you're not a big sharer.
1232
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,520
Now, listen, Joy,
I've been in this business for a long time.
1233
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:57,560
And the thing that I value most
in my employees is honesty.
1234
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,000
So I'm gonna be honest with you.
Right now, you and Chong are tied.
1235
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,880
Now, Chonger is bringing her husband
to the retreat.
1236
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:07,320
- I think you should bring yours, too.
- He will be there.
1237
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:10,360
- You can count on it, sir.
- Good.
1238
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:15,360
So let me get this straight.
1239
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:18,880
She asked you
to come to a retreat for her job.
1240
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:20,200
Yeah.
1241
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,120
The most important thing
to her in the world.
1242
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,720
Do you believe that? I was like, "No!"
1243
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:34,280
'Cause I'm like... I'm like,
"Hey, what are you still doing here?"
1244
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,960
Jack! You have got
to get your ass down there,
1245
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,560
pretend to be the perfect husband,
charm them all, and then,
1246
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:43,320
when you have them eating
out of the palm of your hand,
1247
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,200
you make her sign this.
1248
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,720
- What's this?
- This is a document, okay,
1249
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,200
relinquishing all the rights to the money.
1250
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:57,640
Right? You tell her if she doesn't sign it,
you're gonna out her in front of everybody.
1251
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,000
Yeah.
1252
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:04,360
I mean, that's not, you know...
1253
01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:06,440
It's not pretty, but we can...
1254
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:08,640
I can laminate it.
1255
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:15,800
- I don't know.
- Okay, look, Jack, the hearing's in a week.
1256
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,920
Okay? This is our last shot.
1257
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:39,920
- Hey, McNally.
- Mr. Banger.
1258
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:41,480
So, where's this husband of yours?
1259
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,280
I just met Chonger's husband.
He's a very smart guy.
1260
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,360
He's a tool, but he's smart.
1261
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:48,120
He's...
1262
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,240
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
1263
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:53,840
So the spaceman says,
"I don't even have a vagina!"
1264
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:55,240
He's there!
1265
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,760
I'll just take this to him.
1266
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:02,880
Mr. Banger, I just wanted
to take this moment
1267
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:05,360
to express to you my gratitude.
1268
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,480
I'll be seeing you at the...
1269
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:09,960
The dining table.
1270
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:11,920
- Hey, hey!
- Hey.
1271
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,440
(LAUGHS)
1272
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:15,520
I'm so glad to see you.
1273
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,200
Muffin, I've been looking
everywhere for you.
1274
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:20,560
This is why everyone
should have their wife on LoJack.
1275
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:23,960
Let me introduce you to my friends.
This is David Young, your CFO.
1276
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:25,960
Mr. Young. An honor. Hi.
1277
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,600
And this is the rest of your board, actually.
1278
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:31,680
Great people. Wealthy people.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
1279
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:35,280
So you're the lucky guy.
1280
01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:37,800
- Hi. Jack Fuller.
- I'm Richard Banger.
1281
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,400
You're in my seat.
1282
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:43,800
Wait, your name is Richard Banger?
1283
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,160
Your name is Dick Banger.
1284
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,040
Dick Banger! Dick Banger?
1285
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:52,000
You, sir, have just provided us with jokes
for the whole weekend!
1286
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:58,440
Well, you must be Jack... off!
1287
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:00,200
Jack-Off! Give it to me, baby!
1288
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,400
- Jack-Off, buddy!
- He has a comeback!
1289
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:05,120
McNally, where have you
been hiding this guy?
1290
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:06,920
You know, I've just been
keeping him all to myself!
1291
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:08,240
Well, you gotta learn how to share.
1292
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:12,320
All right, everybody, let's sit down.
Brainiac, Chonger, move over.
1293
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,240
"Jack-Off." How about it? Oh, boy.
1294
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:20,360
I don't know what made you change
your mind, and I don't need to. I just...
1295
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:21,720
Thank you.
1296
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:27,440
- "Jack-Off." I love that.
- Yeah, I do, too.
1297
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:34,280
I love that, that you said that.
Because it was...
1298
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:37,080
For a moment there, I...
1299
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:38,440
I'm so sorry.
1300
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:40,840
MAN: Joy, come on over! Joy!
1301
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:42,120
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1302
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:43,560
I'm on it!
1303
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:46,600
- Yeah!
- I'm on it.
1304
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:50,840
Yeah! Yeah!
1305
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,840
(ALL CHEERING)
1306
01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:54,560
(ONE LOVEPLAYING)
1307
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:58,320
One looks for happiness
One longs to find a partner
1308
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:02,200
One knows that nowadays
One love will be the answer
1309
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:03,840
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1310
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,440
One sees a crazy world
One needs a fresh perspective
1311
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:08,160
- Hey.
- So what's up? She sign it yet?
1312
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:09,320
No, not yet.
1313
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:10,440
You better not
be pussying out on me!
1314
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,080
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
I'm just waiting for her to get down here.
1315
01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:15,080
Got to warm
these people up, you know?
1316
01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:17,200
All right, well, call me
when it's done, okay?
1317
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:18,440
I'm holding down the fort in the meantime.
1318
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,520
- Yeah. All right.
- Bye.
1319
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:24,520
Lavender.
1320
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:27,360
You get on my head.
1321
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:34,640
Oh, my God. That is slick.
That is something else.
1322
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:09,920
- Can you believe this?
- No.
1323
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:15,280
I guess I was wrong.
You do clean up pretty well.
1324
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:20,320
What?
1325
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,720
No, you just... You...
1326
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,440
I like your hair like that.
1327
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:28,520
Thanks.
1328
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:30,760
Can I get two shots?
1329
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,880
You know what? Make it three.
1330
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,360
Hello, McNally.
Jack-Off, how are you doing?
1331
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:37,920
- Hey, Mr. Banger.
- How are you?
1332
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:39,000
Good.
1333
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:40,600
Cheers.
1334
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:46,600
"Hello, my name is Joy's Bitch."
1335
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:51,760
How's it going tonight?
You guys having fun?
1336
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,800
That's a good one, McNally.
I had no idea you were so much fun.
1337
01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:57,040
She's very serious at work.
1338
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,400
You don't know her that well.
This one's a wildcat.
1339
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:03,360
- I wouldn't lie to you, Big Dick.
- Well, if you did, I'd have to kill you.
1340
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:05,480
- Seriously.
- There's nothing this woman loves
1341
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:06,800
- more than a good dare.
- Really?
1342
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:08,680
Yeah. You ever see what she can do
with a champagne bottle?
1343
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:12,080
- Unbelievable. Shocking.
- No, it's just... It's a party trick. It's not...
1344
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:13,480
I dare you.
1345
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:21,880
- I hate you.
- You love me.
1346
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:24,640
(EX CLAIMING)
1347
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:26,720
Very good! Very good!
1348
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:29,560
Terrific! You know,
had I seen this side of you before,
1349
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:32,760
I probably would have promoted you
a long time ago.
1350
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:38,680
(SINGING) Get down on it
1351
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:41,200
- That's a lot.
- Your turn.
1352
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:47,560
You know what? You shouldn't do that.
1353
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:50,360
You've got this, okay?
1354
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:52,840
Throw the dice.
1355
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:55,240
You've got this.
1356
01:08:57,280 --> 01:08:58,840
- We need what, a seven?
- A seven!
1357
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,680
- Okay.
- Throw a seven!
1358
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:04,400
DEALER: Seven.
1359
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:05,800
Oh, my God!
1360
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:07,880
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1361
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,160
We're done. Can we quit?
Can we quit? We're... Okay.
1362
01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:11,360
Throw it in there.
1363
01:09:11,440 --> 01:09:14,920
Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen,
would you please gather round?
1364
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:15,920
(CELL PHONE BEEPING)
1365
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:20,200
BANGER: Come on. Don't be afraid.
This year's Golden Handshake Award
1366
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:23,440
for best team spirit goes to a new face,
1367
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:28,160
and one of the funniest son of a bitches
I've ever had the pleasure to know.
1368
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:30,320
And I think you know
who I'm talking about.
1369
01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:35,320
- Jack-Off! Jack-Off! Jack-Off!
- Jack-Off! Jack-Off! Jack-Off!
1370
01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:37,320
BANGER: Get up here! Come on!
1371
01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:41,160
Congratulations, Jack-Off.
1372
01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:46,120
Well, thank you all
for an amazing weekend. I...
1373
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:50,320
I have to thank my wife, Joy.
1374
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:58,760
She probably never told you all
the story about how we met.
1375
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:07,040
It might come as a surprise
to many of you
1376
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:11,680
that we didn't know each other
for very long before we got hitched.
1377
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:20,800
What can I say? You know?
When you know, you know.
1378
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:26,880
On our wedding night, we were so busy
running back to the honeymoon suite
1379
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:31,400
that we never really got a chance
to have a first dance.
1380
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:33,080
So...
1381
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:37,360
Ladies and gentlemen,
1382
01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,520
for the first time,
Mr. and Mrs. Jack Fuller!
1383
01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:42,120
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
1384
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:47,640
(PLAYING WHA TA FEELING)
1385
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:50,280
(SINGING) First, when there's nothing
1386
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:54,760
but a slow glowing dream
1387
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:58,120
That your fear seems to hide...
1388
01:10:58,240 --> 01:10:59,200
(GLASSES CLINKING)
1389
01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:00,920
You hear that?
1390
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:04,000
- They're clinking.
- Yeah. They are clinking.
1391
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:07,400
I think that means they want us to kiss.
1392
01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:10,240
Well, if that's what the crowd wants...
1393
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:14,240
Yeah, but if you're not up for it,
you don't have to. It's fine.
1394
01:11:14,320 --> 01:11:18,040
In a world made of steel
1395
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:21,640
Made of stone
1396
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:28,920
Well, I hear the music
1397
01:11:29,040 --> 01:11:32,600
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm
1398
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:34,720
Wrap around
1399
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:39,440
Take a hold of my heart
1400
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:41,800
What a feeling!
1401
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:46,360
Being's believing
1402
01:11:47,440 --> 01:11:53,560
I can't have it all
Now I'm dancing for my life
1403
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,520
Take your passion
1404
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:01,040
And make it happen
1405
01:12:11,640 --> 01:12:13,200
All right, look.
1406
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:16,760
When's the last time
you were, like, really happy?
1407
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,760
- Really happy?
- And don't say Vegas,
1408
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:22,040
because if you do, I'll just... I'll have to cry.
1409
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:24,920
Okay.
1410
01:12:26,640 --> 01:12:28,440
There was this one day,
1411
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:31,720
before the Exchange, before Mason.
1412
01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:37,320
I was feeling really adventurous,
so I took the ferry
1413
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:40,120
- about 30 miles east of the city.
- Mmm-hmm.
1414
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:42,360
There was this great lighthouse.
1415
01:12:42,480 --> 01:12:45,920
I mean, it was just right on the beach,
off the boardwalk.
1416
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:48,240
- You went there by yourself?
- Yeah.
1417
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:50,960
You know, I just, like, sat on the beach,
1418
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:55,240
listened to the waves,
watched the sunset.
1419
01:12:56,760 --> 01:13:01,040
God! I had no concerns, you know?
I had, like, no responsibilities,
1420
01:13:01,160 --> 01:13:02,840
no job stressing me out.
1421
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:05,880
I had no one to please but myself.
1422
01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:09,200
- That's that photo you have.
- Yeah.
1423
01:13:10,480 --> 01:13:13,360
That was a great day.
1424
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:32,240
I did take myself out of the game.
1425
01:13:37,920 --> 01:13:39,880
If you stop betting,
1426
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:42,720
you never have to lose.
1427
01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:57,320
I'd bet on you, Jack.
1428
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:13,280
So, long day, huh?
1429
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:15,120
Yeah.
1430
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,680
So, we should probably get to bed.
1431
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:23,720
Yep.
1432
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:45,120
Can you undo my zipper?
1433
01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:48,480
- It gets stuck.
- Yeah! Yeah.
1434
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:50,600
Absolutely.
1435
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:56,840
All right.
1436
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:12,240
All right. Okay. There it is.
1437
01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:18,120
Thanks.
1438
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:47,680
Hey, I... These...
1439
01:15:47,760 --> 01:15:51,200
- I wasn't in your things.
- It's okay. Just leave them right there.
1440
01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:52,960
I can put them back.
1441
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:00,480
Good night, Mr. Fuller.
1442
01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:02,840
Good night, Mrs. Fuller.
1443
01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:30,920
(IT'S ALRIGHTPLAYING)
1444
01:16:32,080 --> 01:16:33,320
It's all right
1445
01:16:35,760 --> 01:16:36,680
It's all right
1446
01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:37,840
(GASPS)
1447
01:16:38,200 --> 01:16:39,480
Everything's all right
1448
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:40,640
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1449
01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:44,120
It's all right
1450
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:47,360
Everything's all right
1451
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:54,840
It's okay
1452
01:16:57,000 --> 01:17:00,040
Okay, I'm on my way. I know.
1453
01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:01,600
It's almost over.
I'm about to be a free woman.
1454
01:17:01,680 --> 01:17:04,200
- Joy. Joy!
- What?
1455
01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:06,800
I have to go.
1456
01:17:07,160 --> 01:17:08,560
- Mason?
- Yeah.
1457
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:14,160
I can't talk right now. I'm sorry.
I have to get going. I just...
1458
01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:15,920
I want you back, Joy.
1459
01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:20,080
- What?
- I made a huge mistake letting you go.
1460
01:17:20,200 --> 01:17:21,720
I see that now.
1461
01:17:21,840 --> 01:17:24,920
Seeing you the other day,
you had this glow about you.
1462
01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:27,600
Not that you didn't before, it's just...
1463
01:17:27,760 --> 01:17:29,760
Sometimes it takes losing something
1464
01:17:29,840 --> 01:17:32,040
for you to realize what you had.
1465
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:35,560
I want to make up
for the wrong I did to you.
1466
01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:38,400
This is yours.
1467
01:17:39,040 --> 01:17:41,800
I gave it to you, and I want you to have it.
1468
01:17:43,920 --> 01:17:46,160
- Where did you get this?
- And Joy,
1469
01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:49,960
you are good enough for me.
1470
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:02,880
I mean that!
1471
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,720
JUDGE WHOPPER: Court is called to order.
1472
01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:24,480
Well, lookie here, lookie here!
The happy couple!
1473
01:18:24,560 --> 01:18:28,120
Six months down the road.
Did you learn anything?
1474
01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:29,720
We'll see.
1475
01:18:29,840 --> 01:18:32,800
Now, Dr. Twitchell, in your opinion,
did the couple,
1476
01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:34,840
Jack Fuller and Joy McNally,
1477
01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:37,480
obey the court order
to live together as man and wife,
1478
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:40,880
and do you believe they put
sufficient effort into the marriage?
1479
01:18:45,680 --> 01:18:47,120
These two have
1480
01:18:49,960 --> 01:18:51,440
a lot of issues.
1481
01:18:51,920 --> 01:18:55,320
A lot of deeply unsettling issues
1482
01:18:55,760 --> 01:18:58,960
that, as individuals,
they seriously need to work on.
1483
01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:01,200
Seriously.
1484
01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:05,400
But together, in my honest opinion,
1485
01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:08,960
they're perfect for each other.
1486
01:19:09,520 --> 01:19:10,720
It's the real thing.
1487
01:19:11,640 --> 01:19:12,880
Go figure.
1488
01:19:14,560 --> 01:19:17,280
Well, thank you, Doctor.
You may step down.
1489
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,240
Tipper!
1490
01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:29,640
Hi, Your Honor.
1491
01:19:30,480 --> 01:19:32,000
Have you lost weight?
1492
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:35,680
Gotcha. Let's begin.
1493
01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:41,160
Although Ms. McNally ran up $25,000
in credit card debt in my client's name,
1494
01:19:41,240 --> 01:19:43,800
my client recently spent the same amount
1495
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:46,680
for materials
for his new furniture business.
1496
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,920
Therefore, we propose
the following settlement, Your Honor.
1497
01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,480
The original $3 million,
deduct half for taxes
1498
01:19:52,560 --> 01:19:55,200
and $50,000 that's already been spent,
1499
01:19:55,280 --> 01:19:58,120
that leaves $1.45 million to be divided...
1500
01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:04,040
equally.
1501
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:07,840
Now that's the spirit!
You've learned to share! Do you accept?
1502
01:20:14,280 --> 01:20:16,160
No, Your Honor, we do not.
1503
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:17,200
(COUGHS)
1504
01:20:17,360 --> 01:20:19,000
(WHISPERS) Gold-digging whore.
1505
01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:22,840
My client has advised me that
she doesn't want any of the money.
1506
01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:25,680
She just wants a divorce.
1507
01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:28,520
Miss McNally, are you sure?
1508
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:32,880
Yes, Your Honor, I am.
1509
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:37,720
Well, then I hereby grant the divorce
and award all the monies to Mr. Fuller.
1510
01:20:38,280 --> 01:20:39,920
Court adjourned.
1511
01:20:45,320 --> 01:20:46,760
You win, Jack.
1512
01:20:46,880 --> 01:20:49,240
I officially want nothing from you.
1513
01:20:55,960 --> 01:20:57,440
Oh, my God.
1514
01:20:57,520 --> 01:21:00,440
I won a case! Jesus Christ!
1515
01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:02,440
Dude, we won!
1516
01:21:02,720 --> 01:21:03,920
I won!
1517
01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:06,640
Yeah! I'm the law, bitches!
1518
01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:08,200
I'm a lawyer!
1519
01:21:08,880 --> 01:21:10,040
HATER: To me!
1520
01:21:10,800 --> 01:21:12,560
Anybody need a lawyer?
1521
01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:14,440
(TONIGHTI HA VE TO LEA VE ITPLAYING)
1522
01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:16,840
And tonight I have to leave it
1523
01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:20,680
Time heals all wounds.
1524
01:21:22,440 --> 01:21:28,120
Now that you guys are officially done,
I was hoping to maybe get her number.
1525
01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:30,120
Yes, tonight I have to leave it
1526
01:21:30,200 --> 01:21:31,120
(CLEARS THROAT)
1527
01:21:32,160 --> 01:21:35,240
Don't you come up to me
and say you like it
1528
01:21:35,320 --> 01:21:36,600
Yeah, okay.
1529
01:21:37,040 --> 01:21:39,600
You don't have to answer that right now.
1530
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:45,560
MAN: Hey, I have a question.
1531
01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:48,680
How much does an island cost?
1532
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:50,720
And tonight I have to leave it
1533
01:21:51,880 --> 01:21:54,120
Yes, tonight I have to leave it
1534
01:21:56,560 --> 01:21:59,480
BANGER: Now we come to the final item
on our agenda.
1535
01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:03,280
Congratulations, McNally.
1536
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:08,400
Thank you, sir. I won't let you down.
1537
01:22:14,160 --> 01:22:16,960
Okay, I think I'm gonna have to
let you down.
1538
01:22:17,040 --> 01:22:19,440
Why don't you just give it to Chong,
you know?
1539
01:22:19,520 --> 01:22:20,880
She's good, she deserves it,
1540
01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:23,320
and besides,
I think she just enjoys being miserable.
1541
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:25,800
- Yes!
- You sure you know what you're doing?
1542
01:22:25,880 --> 01:22:28,720
No, I don't. But I think that's the point.
1543
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,480
I would rather do nothing and be happy
1544
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:35,760
than do something that I don't love.
1545
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:50,000
Well, I lost her at happy.
1546
01:22:50,120 --> 01:22:51,720
I don't know what the hell
she was trying to say anyway.
1547
01:22:51,840 --> 01:22:54,360
Well done, Chonger. The job is yours.
1548
01:22:57,880 --> 01:22:59,080
Thank you.
1549
01:22:59,920 --> 01:23:01,640
So! Jack made a piece of furniture.
1550
01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:04,000
He finished it.
1551
01:23:04,080 --> 01:23:05,640
Okay. Go ahead, Dad.
What's wrong with it?
1552
01:23:05,760 --> 01:23:07,160
Nothing. It's good.
1553
01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:09,440
It's really good. I'm proud of you.
1554
01:23:12,480 --> 01:23:13,640
- Thank you.
- But...
1555
01:23:13,720 --> 01:23:14,640
Here we go.
1556
01:23:14,760 --> 01:23:16,240
...you royally screwed up
when it comes to that girl.
1557
01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:19,960
It was a big, stupid mistake. Okay?
The entire marriage was a lie!
1558
01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:22,480
The marriage might have been a mistake,
but it was not a lie.
1559
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:25,240
And I think that anybody
who has spent time with you two recently
1560
01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:26,400
could tell you that.
1561
01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:29,480
So why don't you get your head
out of your ass
1562
01:23:29,600 --> 01:23:31,680
and go do something about it?
1563
01:23:32,280 --> 01:23:35,480
Or should I tell you not to,
and then maybe you will?
1564
01:23:38,680 --> 01:23:41,240
- TIPPER: She's gone, man.
- Gone? What do you mean, gone?
1565
01:23:41,360 --> 01:23:45,480
She, like, lost it. She quit her job,
shut off her phone. She took off.
1566
01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:47,640
Look, I don't really care much for you,
1567
01:23:47,760 --> 01:23:49,480
and I want to cut your friend Hater.
Seriously.
1568
01:23:49,560 --> 01:23:50,760
But for some reason,
1569
01:23:50,840 --> 01:23:53,680
you're, like, the only man
that Joy can actually be herself with,
1570
01:23:53,760 --> 01:23:57,520
so I wanna tell you where she is,
I really do. I just don't know.
1571
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:00,080
- What do you know?
- I don't know. If you were miserable
1572
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:03,440
and you wanted to get happy again,
where would you go?
1573
01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:06,200
What?
1574
01:24:07,920 --> 01:24:09,160
Thank you.
1575
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:14,480
Okay, tell you what. We both go.
1576
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:15,960
That way, when she sees us both,
1577
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:18,440
she can make up her mind
on who she wants to be with.
1578
01:24:18,560 --> 01:24:22,280
I've loaned you my band saw,
I've loaned you my beer tap.
1579
01:24:22,360 --> 01:24:23,840
Do you even know
how to drive an automatic?
1580
01:24:23,920 --> 01:24:25,520
The keys. Give me the keys.
1581
01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:26,920
Here. Sorry.
1582
01:24:27,720 --> 01:24:29,960
Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
1583
01:24:30,200 --> 01:24:32,000
(I'M NOTOVER PLAYING)
1584
01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:42,440
What a waste of time
The thought crossed my mind
1585
01:24:42,560 --> 01:24:45,280
But I never missed a beat
1586
01:24:45,800 --> 01:24:49,560
Can't explain the who or what I was
1587
01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:52,360
Trying to believe
1588
01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:54,760
What would you do?
1589
01:24:56,400 --> 01:24:59,440
What would you do?
Do you know?
1590
01:24:59,920 --> 01:25:03,280
I once had a grip on everything
1591
01:25:03,400 --> 01:25:06,440
It feels better to let go
1592
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:08,960
I'm not over
1593
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:13,640
I'm not over you just yet
1594
01:25:13,720 --> 01:25:16,000
Cannot hide it
1595
01:25:17,200 --> 01:25:17,520
You're not that easy to forget
1596
01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:20,720
You're not that easy to forget
1597
01:25:20,920 --> 01:25:23,880
I'm not over
1598
01:25:27,760 --> 01:25:30,120
I'm not over
1599
01:25:52,600 --> 01:25:53,920
You found me.
1600
01:25:55,840 --> 01:25:57,520
You left this behind,
1601
01:25:58,800 --> 01:26:02,440
and I wanted to bring it back to you.
1602
01:26:07,720 --> 01:26:11,400
Do you know how many lighthouses
there are 30 miles east of the city?
1603
01:26:11,480 --> 01:26:13,160
- How many?
- Five.
1604
01:26:13,240 --> 01:26:16,000
- Really?
- Yeah, just in case you're wondering.
1605
01:26:16,080 --> 01:26:17,040
So.
1606
01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:23,560
Did you come all the way out here
just to give this back to me?
1607
01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:27,080
I did. So I'm going to get out of here.
1608
01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,600
All right. Here it is.
1609
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:35,040
When we were married, I was horrible.
1610
01:26:35,800 --> 01:26:38,280
Sick. Just wrong.
1611
01:26:40,440 --> 01:26:42,920
And it's the best time I've ever had.
1612
01:26:46,480 --> 01:26:48,680
You bet on me, Joy,
1613
01:26:51,200 --> 01:26:53,680
and you made me want to bet on myself.
1614
01:26:54,160 --> 01:26:57,240
So don't think about anyone else
1615
01:26:57,760 --> 01:27:00,600
and just answer this for you.
1616
01:27:09,040 --> 01:27:11,240
Do you want to be married to me?
1617
01:27:12,280 --> 01:27:13,360
Again?
1618
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:17,080
You know,
1619
01:27:18,440 --> 01:27:21,440
for so long, I've just...
I've tried to please everybody.
1620
01:27:21,920 --> 01:27:24,840
And by not trying to please you,
1621
01:27:27,440 --> 01:27:29,520
I think I became myself again.
1622
01:27:32,640 --> 01:27:33,600
I do
1623
01:27:34,760 --> 01:27:38,440
want to be married to you again.
1624
01:28:03,840 --> 01:28:05,200
I quit my job.
1625
01:28:06,440 --> 01:28:07,560
I heard.
1626
01:28:07,840 --> 01:28:11,080
I have absolutely no idea
what I'm going to do. No clue.
1627
01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:15,640
Well, it's a good thing that I have...
That we have a ton of money.
1628
01:28:15,760 --> 01:28:17,320
Oh, my God!
1629
01:28:18,760 --> 01:28:22,040
That's right. We hit the jackpot.
1630
01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:24,120
Yeah, I did.
1631
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:31,720
Now, Joy, do you take this young man
1632
01:28:32,880 --> 01:28:37,280
to be your lawfully wedded husband,
in sickness and in health...
1633
01:28:37,640 --> 01:28:38,560
Uh-huh.
1634
01:28:38,680 --> 01:28:40,640
...for richer or for poorer...
1635
01:28:41,640 --> 01:28:42,880
I do. I take him.
1636
01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:44,680
WOMAN: Naughty! Naughty!
1637
01:28:44,760 --> 01:28:47,560
Jack, would you put the ring
upon her finger?
1638
01:28:48,440 --> 01:28:50,800
- Was that the one?
- That was it! Oh, my God!
1639
01:28:50,920 --> 01:28:52,560
You may kiss the bride.
1640
01:28:52,680 --> 01:28:54,440
(CHEERING)
1641
01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:56,080
This is the greatest day of my life!
1642
01:28:56,560 --> 01:29:00,040
- This is the greatest day of my...
- What? What?
1643
01:29:01,840 --> 01:29:02,920
Oh, my...
1644
01:29:03,120 --> 01:29:04,560
This is marvelous, simply marvelous.
1645
01:29:04,680 --> 01:29:06,560
- Bye! Thank you!
- Bye-bye.
1646
01:29:06,720 --> 01:29:08,360
Have fun, you guys!
1647
01:29:08,440 --> 01:29:10,000
It's so much fun in there!
You guys are gonna love it!
1648
01:29:10,120 --> 01:29:12,120
- JACK: Woman!
- Holy shit.
1649
01:29:12,240 --> 01:29:14,120
- JACK: Woman!
- I'm coming!
1650
01:29:16,040 --> 01:29:17,080
Hey!
1651
01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:21,000
(I HA TE YOU (MYFRIEND) PLAYING)
1652
01:29:21,080 --> 01:29:24,640
No one here likes you
Go away get a clue
1653
01:29:24,720 --> 01:29:26,760
Go back to your... zoo
1654
01:29:26,840 --> 01:29:27,760
(SA VE THE BESTFOR LAST
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1655
01:29:27,880 --> 01:29:29,280
And now we're standing face to face
1656
01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:30,600
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1657
01:29:31,280 --> 01:29:35,240
Isn't this world a crazy place
1658
01:29:36,400 --> 01:29:37,960
(GRUNTS)
1659
01:29:40,400 --> 01:29:41,360
Why?
1660
01:29:41,440 --> 01:29:42,800
You know why!
1661
01:29:47,400 --> 01:29:48,760
You know why!
1662
01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:54,480
No one here likes you
Go away, get a clue
1663
01:29:54,680 --> 01:29:58,760
Go back to your... zoo
or whatever it is you do
1664
01:29:58,880 --> 01:30:02,720
I don't know why
I don't like what's in your eyes
1665
01:30:02,920 --> 01:30:05,240
And I'd love to split them wide
1666
01:30:07,040 --> 01:30:09,400
I could pretend
1667
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:13,560
Can't you understand
I hate you my friend
1668
01:30:15,280 --> 01:30:18,320
Some call it an obsession
1669
01:30:19,120 --> 01:30:21,880
And some call it a good hate
1670
01:30:22,960 --> 01:30:25,880
And I'll just call it pathetic
1671
01:30:26,760 --> 01:30:29,560
But some totally relate
1672
01:30:31,760 --> 01:30:35,720
I'd rather go to hell
than shake your hand or wish you well
1673
01:30:36,080 --> 01:30:37,800
In case you couldn't tell
1674
01:30:39,840 --> 01:30:43,880
Go ahead, boy, drink your drink
Go ahead, boy, do your thing
1675
01:30:43,960 --> 01:30:47,560
Can you learn the words
to every song I sing
1676
01:30:48,160 --> 01:30:50,560
I could pretend
1677
01:30:50,760 --> 01:30:54,640
Can't you understand
I hate you my friend
1678
01:31:12,920 --> 01:31:15,920
Some call it an obsession
1679
01:31:16,760 --> 01:31:19,440
And some call it a good hate
1680
01:31:20,680 --> 01:31:23,600
And I'll just call it pathetic
1681
01:31:24,560 --> 01:31:27,240
But some totally relate
1682
01:31:29,120 --> 01:31:33,360
No one here likes you
Go away, get a clue
1683
01:31:33,480 --> 01:31:37,160
Go back to your... zoo
or whatever it is you do
1684
01:31:37,360 --> 01:31:39,920
I could pretend
1685
01:31:40,040 --> 01:31:44,040
Can't you understand
I hate you my friend
1686
01:31:46,040 --> 01:31:48,520
I hate you my friend
1687
01:31:49,960 --> 01:31:52,320
I hate you my friend
1688
01:34:07,320 --> 01:34:08,840
(EXHALES)
1689
01:34:08,960 --> 01:34:12,240
What are you doing later? You know,
there's a meteor shower tonight.
1690
01:34:12,360 --> 01:34:13,720
You know what?
1691
01:34:13,840 --> 01:34:16,320
Jack was our glue.
1692
01:34:16,400 --> 01:34:18,720
I feel like the fact that he's gone
makes us a little closer.
1693
01:34:18,800 --> 01:34:21,080
No, it makes us a little bit just...
1694
01:34:21,600 --> 01:34:23,280
The opposite of that.
1695
01:34:31,640 --> 01:34:33,200
You like to party?
130604
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