All language subtitles for The.Kardashians.S03E06.WEB.x264-TG

Previously on
The Kardashians...

I know something that
is hard for my mom.

Like, "Did I create them
to get to this level?"

Right.

The work, the
fun, the family,

I'm grateful and blessed,
but... it's a lot.

So, how'd your call go with
Dolce, Domenico and them?

I got a call saying
that they wanted me

to creative direct their
fashion show in Milan.

I don't wanna pass this up.

- She's putting out all
these vibes from my wedding,

looks that we so
carefully curated.

- She's mad that I'm
doing the Dolce thing.

- It's not rational.

- It's just, like, legit
copying my wedding.

- ♪ My whole life, people
tell me how to live ♪

♪ My whole life, never
had a [censored] to give ♪

♪ I'm all right, I don't
need your two cents ♪

♪ I got money in the bank,
snowflakes on my fist ♪

♪ If you tell me what to do,
watch me bang up on my chest ♪

♪ I'm a woman, I'm the best,
take offense, say less ♪

- I swear this is where
I came to get my license.

- ♪ This is my life ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Watch out, this is my life ♪

- Hi. Thank you guys
for... staying open.

Today,
we are with Kim,

and we are getting her
driving license picture ready.

But it's a big deal 'cause you have
to live with it for a long time.

- Yeah, but too many people live with
driving licenses which are not cute.

No matter where Kim goes, me and
Ariel have got her back.

- Duh. They say this is...
- I mean, this is, this is the most

important photo you'll
ever take in your life.

- I'm turning 42.

That's why we all look so much better
than, like, our, our grandparents did

when they were, like, 60 and... You know?
- Hm.

It's not the Botox?

- My hopes for
42-year-old Kim is that

I really just wanna have fun,
I want peace, I want calmness,

I want good vibes.

Yeah, everything.
I want the whole world.

My height is 5'3 and a half.
What does this say? 5'3".

- Get a stick...
- Get a, a height thing.

What are you talking about? Of course.
- Kimberly, you're definitely, like, 5'2".

- I was gonna say, it's definitely 5'4".
- Five...

- Oh!
- Yeah, I think 5'4".

Okay, guys.
Thank you for waiting.

I really just want
it to look good.

Like, why not bring a
light and a glam team?

It's definitely crazy,
but I don't care.

What if I went...?

- So, I'mma have you go do your
25-question knowledge test.

Wait, what? ARIEL: What?

- For real?

Oh, I was like, "I-I can do it."

Are you gonna fix the hair?
- Yeah.

Do you need a blow dryer?

Do we need to
powder, like, there?

You guys, should I
add "West" or no?

- No, I'm Kim Kardashian.

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous.

Just kidding, as long as
I have photo approval.

Chin down.

You wanna keep your
eyes focused on the blue circle.

- This is gonna be...
- 'Kay, hold on, wait 'til I'm not smiling,

hold on.

- God, can you imagine?
- What if I'm like...?

Okay, hold on.

- I would die.
- Okay, no wrinkles, no smiles.

- It's gonna set
up first. - Okay.

Let me know
when you're ready.

- Ready. And stop,
dude. - Ready?

- No. Just let me just move this.
- Dude.

- Uh, I promise. You're gonna
have to live with this for years.

You'll hate it.
- Okay, okay.

Hold on.

Okay.

Ready? Four
seconds, here we go.

One, two, three,
four.

Can I see it? BLANCA: Yeah.

- Come on, guys. We all
need to approve this.

Mm, can we try again?

- Maybe if you... Can
you come out a bit more?

So it's not so cropped.
- Not so... Yeah.

Yeah, is there
any way to save this,

do another, and have
'em side by side?

Can you just AirDrop
it to us really quickly?

You risk losin' it.

- I think you could do better.

- Shoulders back.
Yeah. BLANCA: Ready?

Mm-hmm.

Four seconds. One, two, three, four.

Moment of truth.

Oh, my God.

Wow. KIM:
We're snatched.

- We're snatched. Looks really...
- Good, this one's good.

It looks exactly the same
as the other one.

She nailed it.

We work with many photographers
along the time, Blanca,

and you, you got the
shot.

- I wouldn't say
we normally get it.

- In two shots?
- In... Yeah.

- We trusted our instincts. First
is the worst, second is the best.

That's why I'm the second child.

- Thanks, guys.
- We love you.

- Bye.
- Couldn't have done that without you.

Bye.

- Oh, my God, hello. KHLOÉ:
Okay. What is happening here?

- We're doing,
like, Lemme setups.

You look gorgeous.

- Darling.
- No, you crushed.

Has our girl spoken to Kim yet?

- No, and that's
sorta why I'm here.

I w... feel like...
Well, I mean, think...

Is that her behind me?
- No. Oh no, it is.

- Oh, my God.
- Hi.

Hi, guys. SIMON: Hi!

- Hi!
- Hi. Oh.

Oh.
- Oh, just one.

Yeah. Oh. SIMON: Hi.

- We're in the U.S.

- Oh, we are.
- Wait, so you weren't going to, uh,

Baby 2 Baby, Bye Bye Baby,

or Baby 2 Baby?
- I do the same thing.

- Baby 2 Baby.
- Oh, you are going?

You found something to wear?
- No. So, I'm potentially going.

As of now, I don't have an outfit.
- Okay.

I'm actually coincidentally going and
sitting at the Dolce table.

Oh.

- Oh.
- Speaking of Dolce.

Speaking of.

- Whatever's going on
with Kourtney and Kim,

the tension is
brewing and brewing.

And the more time that goes by,
the thicker the tension gets.

Like, let's just move on, we're
making this so much bigger

than it needs to be.

Just tell her.
Like, have the talk.

No, but for real,
when are you, like...

You have to just
talk to Kim already

just to, like, move these
things along in life.

- Yeah.

No, I think about it 'cause I feel
like I can move on and be like,

"No one can kill your vibe,"

you know, like, "You're gonna have a good day."
- I, I believe you can in that way...

- Yeah.
- But I don't think you can

coexist with her,

and I don't think
it's healthy for you,

- but also, your guys' relationship is
wild. - I also think Kim's ready

for the conversation.

- Yeah.
- I feel like on the call that we had,

she was actually
saying things like,

like... If the sh... Yeah.
- Like if the shoe was on the other foot.

- She would be...

- She understands.
- If she felt bad,

don't you think she
would reach out and say,

"Hey, I was thinking about it, and
I really feel..." Blah blah blah.

Like, I don't think
that she feels...

- To my understanding,
she's tried to talk to you,

but you haven't
been ready to talk.

- Zero percent false.

- Zero percent.
- And she's reached out to you

to, like, apologize.
- I mean, 100% false.

- Yeah. KHLOÉ: I'm
still confused.

Zero percent true.

- It comes from an
old thing of us, like,

being 18 months apart.
- Since... the day she's been born,

I feel like this has been brewing.
- And just having, like, a more

competitive, like,
nature as sisters.

And then, I think the one
time I've even slightly

done anything that
was similar to her,

which was, like, hang some
Christmas lights in my entry

that were, like, similar...
- Oh.

- Which I didn't even see hers at the time.
- Christmas Light Gate.

- Like, didn't even know.

- Didn't even know and it was
such a thing. - It was...

- But it was like...
- An actual thing?

- A huge thing.
- I feel like I go to, like, big extents

to, like, have my own thing.

But there's no, like,
sense of loyalty,

or, like... feeling of,
like, "Oh, how would I feel?"

It's almost like a
greediness to, like, how...

What can we do, and how many things,
and everything moves so fast.

And I feel like we have it all,
we have everything that we...

More than we could want or need.

If I look at the photos
from the fashion show,

like, half the time I'm
like, "Is this my wedding?"

Like...
- But why can't you say that to her?

- Because I'm also, like,
it's who she is to her core.

This is definitely not about a
brand; it was about my wedding.

I didn't feel truly supported.

I think it's just that
it's like a free-for-all.

It's like no, like, boundaries,

and it felt like there's no decency
to, like, ask me how I felt about

her doing this so
closely to my wedding.

It's also, like, no one j-just,
like, gives a about anything.

It's like the Wild West.

Like, we're just gonna take and do
as we want, whatever's best for us.

- Well, so what are you gonna
do, not talk to her forever?

- That's an option.
- Yeah.

- Let's just go with
our options here.

Have the talk soon, have it in
six months when you implode.

- Yeah. It's gonna be an imploding.
- Or what?

- I don't know. I don't...
- But the amount of energy

you're giving to him and I,

why don't you just give to
her and let this be done?

- 'Cause she's so intolerable to
even have a conversation with,

that she's, like, on her
phone the whole time,

can hardly look up,

really hard to engage with.
- What if we put the phones

- down for the talk?
- Yeah.

It just makes me
wanna, like, run...

- Mm.
- The other way.

- Oh no.

I just thought, what
else could you take from me?

Can I have anything that's mine?

Our family is so interconnected,
and we always have been.

All of our businesses
were all together.

But I think, like,
for my survival,

I need my own identity, and
I need just my own life.

I really love having
some separation,

and having my own friends,
and having my own,

you know, family.

- Hey, look, I never
knew there was a problem

until I spoke to you,

- and you were crying,
and... - Mm-hmm.

- like, that's the first time
I knew there was an issue,

- and I was like, "Oh, my God."
- Was this Milan weekend?

- This was in Milan.
- Yeah.

- And she called just to say hi to
me, and check on me, and then just...

Me? KHLOÉ: Mm-hmm.

And then just

started hysterically crying rightfully so.
- Yeah.

- But I had not a clue there
was an issue. - Right.

- I think one reason
we have, as a family,

been able to not be complete

diva psychopaths

is because we have each other
to, like, check each other.

Yeah. KHLOÉ: Correct.

But it sounds like, yeah,
the conversation needs to happen.

And she wants that...
Kim, obviously, wants...

She doesn't want the tension.

And she was, on that phone call

- very apologetic. She was ready...
- Kim wants to make it right with you.

- She's very... She's
very up and down,

depending on her mood.
- She wants to make it right with you.

I'll make sure she's
in a good mood.

I've already talked to her.
- Well, no, it's not even a good mood,

it's the right mindset.
- No, I've already talked to her.

- You know how, sometimes,
she's in a mindset

where you're like,
"You're my enemy?"

structure with notes... Narrow, yeah.

- And to not go off the notes.
- I think I'm gonna make a whiteboard.

I think you actually...

- They can walk into a whiteboard.
- I think you should.

- A big one. I think you just...
- What if I just wrote, "Stay Away,"

- and then just...
- Stay away.

that's the end of the meeting?

Hi!

Hello. KHLOÉ: You
look so pretty, Trace.

Thank you. What's
the latest and greatest?

- Oh, my God, all
the birthday drama,

as you know. TRACY: Oh, wait.

Okay, so how are we gonna surprise
her? So, what's the plan for Friday?

Should we tell her Friday, get
all... the whole group chat together,

tell her in person?

- Me, Tracy, and Steph are planning
this whole Vegas surprise for Kimberly.

We sorta just
wanna scoop her up,

get her on a plane, go
to Vegas for the night,

see Usher in concert,
and come back home.

It's turned into
such a thing, I know,

- and I know you guys are so over it.
- I'm so over it, honestly.

- Should we not go?
- No, we're going.

- Yeah, we're still going, right?
- We're going.

We're gonna have so much fun.

And you know what?
She's gonna have fun.

She needs it.
- I think so.

I call Kim, "Hey, like, what do
you wanna do for your birthday?"

And she's like, "I guess
we could have a dinner."

Kim sends me the longest list of
people that she wants invited,

and she just starts texting them,
and telling them they're coming.

I'm like... "What?" Like,
this wasn't supposed to be a r...

I didn't have a
real dinner planned.

We were just doing some,
like, casual dinner

because we knew what
was coming the next day.

Out of the blue, I now have to
plan a real sit-down proper dinner.

This has turned into
a crazy shitshow.

- Wait, should we call Steph?
- Yeah.

- We should game plan with her
and see what she wants to do.

I feel like everyone else is
excited 'cause they're not involved

in the planning.
- Right.

Hi. - Hi.

Okay, so how
are we gonna tell her?

So, are we just gonna
pull her aside and say,

"Kim... no questions asked,

but we have a surprise
planned for you tomorrow."

Shut the up. TRACY:
Like, don't ask us any questions.

- Get your glam done, and be ready by...
- Get your glam done.

- Five or whatever time we pick.
- And then we're gonna come pick you up.

- Yeah, perfect.

- And we're dressed
for our night.

- We're dressed for the night.
- Yeah.

'Cause we go from
the plane to dinner,

dinner to the concert.
- To the concert.

And then after that,
we're coming right back.

- Love.
- Perfect.

- Okay. Wait, guys, should I have Usher...
- Oh, my God.

- pull her up on
stage or will she die?

She'll kill you.

All right, so...

- I do not wanna go
up, not my thing.

- That would be cute,
Khloé, you could go.

- Uh. Steph, you go.
- That would be cute. I love that.

- I could go.
- Exactly.

How could I go?

I don't want all those photos of me up there makin' weird faces.
- True.

Like, get the
outta here, all you people.

I'm actually not going
to Vegas anymore.

- All right, guys.

Hello?

Huh.

Anybody know where Kim is?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You're nice and dressed up.

Kim is gonna be 42,

but what I think about
today is when I was 42,

and where was I when I was 42,

and, honestly, that
seems like yesterday.

You're gonna be 42.

When I was 42, I just
had a baby at 41.

- That's crazy.
- Isn't that crazy?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- I think I'm done.

- You have four
kids... Probably.

- It's a lot.
- I mean, I had six,

but I was a stay-at-home-mom...

- Yeah.
- And took that job really seriously.

Like, I was so proud of you guys.
- Yeah.

- I still am today. I mean,
I'm... couldn't be more proud.

I think we're so lucky.

When I was growing up,
and even in the '80s

when you guys were
born and little kids,

nobody really had a
family, that I knew,

that all lived together...

- Yeah.
- In the same neighborhood.

And I think that's what
we're so blessed with

is the ability to
communicate with each other,

the ability to love each
other as hard as we do...

- Yeah.
- And that's what makes it so special.

But at the same time,

we've built this amazing
life for ourselves,

and, sometimes, I feel
like it can be... a curse.

- Sometimes, I feel like I've
helped build something that

can also be a burden.

The haters.
- Yeah.

- They're so brutal sometimes,

and I feel like... I feel
bad that I've brought this

element, you know, to our lives,
and it's hard, it's a struggle.

You know?
- You shouldn't feel that way.

- It weighs heavy
on my heart a lot.

Now, sometimes, I just feel guilty
about... the other side of the coin,

that we've created this life,
not only a big responsibility,

but it's also... can
be very negative.

- Mm-hmm, it can be really negative.
- Mm-hmm.

I think that this life that we
live, as beautiful as it is,

we get blamed for everything.

- Mm-hmm.
- Everything's our fault.

- Khloé's responsible
for Tristan cheating,

and having a ba... or being...

You know, and it's like, "Wait, what?"
- Or if he lost a basketball game.

- Yeah.

- And I feel so bad for you guys

that you have to bear
that on certain days

like... we sometimes
experience, you know?

- Yeah.

I get where my
mom is coming from

because this past year really
has been wild for our family.

But all of this is a
part of our journey.

God makes no mistakes.

All of this is happening for us

for the lessons that we have
to learn here on this planet.

Do you remember...

This is gonna make me cry,

but do you remember when
you were robbed in Paris,

and you were tied up and
thrown into a bathtub,

and that... the trauma of that,

and I remember you said,

"Thank God it happened to me because
if it happened to anybody else,

they wouldn't have
been able to survive."

- Totally.
- And it wouldn't have happened the same way.

But you, you know, kind of,

handle every situation like that.
- Like, when it was done, I was just like...

- Yeah.
- "Thank God this was me

"and not one of my sisters...
- Yeah.

because it would, like,
them up for life."

- For life.

When my kids are in
pain, I'm in pain.

When my kids hurt, I hurt.

And I never know what
I'm gonna wake up to.

It could be the greatest day in the world
and just feeling so blessed to be alive,

or it could be a little dark,

and there could be things
going on that we can't control.

I don't know anyone who
could've handled what you...

I'm so proud of you...

- Thank you.
- Every single day...

- Thank you.
- For the way that you live your life.

I wish that everybody knew how

beautiful and delicious your heart was.
- But you can't... Thank you.

- And they would never say one thing about you.
- But you live in this guilt

thinking like, "I wish I didn't," you
know, "help all my kids get famous."

You just can't live like that.

This is also our journeys,
and we wanted this,

and you just helped
us fulfill our dreams,

and, like, what
our potential was.

- Yeah.
- You know?

Life is about hardships and
how you get through them.

- Yeah.
- And we know how to get through them.

- Yeah, we do.
- It's the one thing we do.

I think, like... the Kardashians, like,
we don't stoop... to anyone's level,

and we get through things, and
we get through them together.

Thank God we have each other. Thank
God we have that support system.

- Yeah.
- That is what I base a lot of my sanity on.

Absolutely.
- It's our saving grace

that we get to live life with one another.
- It's our sanity.

- Yeah, that's a gift.

And I hope you appreciate that gift.
- Yeah.

No, I do... I do.

- Oh, my God, she's
gonna love it.

I love it.

I am hosting Kimberly's
birthday dinner

at her offices

because I really didn't know I was
hosting a dinner until, like, Tuesday,

and it's Friday, so voila.

But how gorgeous is it?

Hi! Hi! KHLOÉ: Hi, Mom.

This is stunning.

Khloé put so much love
and passion into this,

and making it really
special for Kim

because Kim's usually the one who's
making everything so special for us.

Where's the birthday
girl? Is she not here?

Nope, we beat her.

- You look so good, Kourt.

She texts me at 7:55, "Is this
an on-time kind of thing?"

- Today is Kim's birthday

and no matter what's
going on between us,

you know, we always
show up for each other.

Of course, I'm going
to celebrate my sister.

- Hi! You look stunning!
- Hi.

- Are you kidding me?
- Oh, hold on.

Yes.

- No, you look amazing.

Oh, my God, bitch.

This is, literally, your color.
You look amazing! I'm serious.

Seriously, you really do.
- Oh! Thank you.

- Happy birthday, beautiful.
- Ahh! The birthday girl!

Oh, my God,
it's so beautiful.

Khloé created such a
nice vibe at my office.

It's such a fun time with
everyone that I love.

It's just so intimate
and beautiful.

You look so pretty.
- Hi, you look so pretty.

Happy birthday, bitch.

- Thank you.
- You're an hour late to your own party?

Everyone, sit down!

Let's
sit down for dinner!

The birthday girl's here an
hour late; let's sit down.

- From a basketball
game, I had to!

- Well, Tracy was at the
same game and she's here.

- Yes.

- Okay.

- Well, I have you guys, so
why do I need to invite anyone?

- It's not just us.

- Okay.

- I love everything, yes.
Surprise me. Kind of.

- Yeah.

I'm surrendering
this year, though.

Surprise me.

I can't control everything.

- You can.

- I mean...

- Yes, I do, I know
the whole thing.

- Wait, at the party?
- Absolutely.

Abso--lutely.

I knew everything because
everyone has a big mouth.

Benny Medina called me,
"Have fun in Vegas,"

and he goes, "Oops, am I not
supposed to tell you that?"

Shelli Azoff called
me on my birthday,

and was like, "I'm so sorry
I can't come to Vegas."

And then she goes, "Shit, did
I just ruin this for you?"

I knew the whole time.

But I'm a nice person, and
I want people to feel like

their surprises are
supr... I'm a good actress.

Call me, Hollywood.

- And you need to wear
your thottiest, sexiest...

You need to wear
what Danielle has for you.

Maybe tomorrow
night if you wanna wear

the crystal bra and the crystal pants.
- We'll see you tomorrow.

If you wanna wear your crystal outfit, tomorrow's the day.
- Okay.

Tomorrow's the night
for that out... that look.

- Okay.

So, I know Khloé's worked
so hard on this surprise,

so I'm not gonna act
like I know anything.

I don't wanna make 'em feel bad.

- Khloé!

And we love you,

and eat your Nobu,
and shut the up,

and have your lychee
martini, bitch.

Khloé, I sent
you a text, read it!

Okay, Mom! It's
like Game of Thrones!

This is wild!

Oh, yes,
Mom, go ahead!

Okay.

So, Shelli and I...
are gonna give a toast.

So, I just wanna say, before
I have another martini,

as I said today when I
wished you happy birthday,

you are the strongest
woman in the world.

You are a rock star,

and I'm so proud of you.
- Wait, you sent Khloé the same text?

- What?
- You sent Khloé the same text?

- You are...
- Let her finish.

Let her finish.
- Stop it.

We all look up to you.

You're a superpower.

And
you are pretty much now,

at this point, the
leader of our family.

You're like the person
we all go to when...

Huh?
- What?

- No, but she's like
a... she's magic.

- Hey, I don't have time
to take on those duties.

- I love you, I am so honored,

but I'm not ready for
you to pass the baton.

You need at least
five more years.

- I am in awe of
every single day

the way you handle every
single thing in life.

- I mean, if she
wants to be, ya know?

It's not a cult that I'm
following.

Everything that comes your way,
and not only do you do it for yourself,

but you do it for
the rest of us.

Kourtney's on
her best behavior.

Of course, they're not
gonna duke it out here.

Like, please.

There's no tension, like...
that anyone else would notice.

Any time my mom would,
like, praise Kim,

which is what you do
on someone's birthday,

you praise the birthday person,

I would just, like,
try to stare at Kourt,

but, like, subtly, like, "Is she
okay? Like, what's happening?"

- I just wanna tell you that thank
you for choosing me to be your mommy.

I say that every night when I
go to bed and I say my prayers.

You are somebody that...

You handle all of us.
You handle your kids.

I tell you this, I say to you, I don't
think I could've done what you do.

And I don't know
what more I can say.

But I... You know, we all... KHLOÉ:
Mom, this speech is so amazing.

I love you. KRIS: Shut
up! I'm almost done.

- Where's the hook? Bring...
- I don't need a hook.

- Get her.
- You have had the year from hell,

and I'm proud of you.

- That's what I wanna say!
- That's the best way to put it.

- Happy birthday to Kimberly.

Cheers, everyone!
- I love you guys.

Cheers!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
dear Kimberly ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

You better
blow, bitch! Blow!

- You guys, I feel
like this is my year.

♪ This is Gonna Be Good
by Becca Lynn playing ♪

- ♪ A little bit out of line ♪

♪ Catch it on the rewind ♪

♪ This is gonna be good,
it's gonna be fine ♪

♪ It's gonna be all right ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

- ♪ A little bit out of line ♪

♪ Catch it on the rewind ♪

♪ This is gonna be good ♪

- Today is the big surprise.

So, the plan is Kimberly
knows we're going somewhere,

and we're, essentially,
gonna kidnap her,

we're putting her in a party van...
- Woo!

- with no windows
that can see outside.

- I really don't know anything.

You have no idea
what we're doing? - No.

I, literally, thought I was gonna be
spending my birthday in bed with the kids.

I was like so chill.

Today is my surprise
birthday party.

I'm playing along because
Khloé is the best,

and, like, I know she's
worked so hard on this,

and I, like, don't
wanna break her heart.

- Shh. Okay, they're
coming out now.

- Okay... okay.
- Okay, what's happening...

And I don't know
where we're going, so.

I know we're going to
Vegas, but I don't know why.

I'm gonna, like, just hold on
to that element of surprise.

Girls night!

- Get in the car!
- Hello, birthday girl!

- ♪ I was born ready ♪

♪ Straight up and steady ♪

- No.

- ♪ I was born ready ♪

♪ I was born ready for anything,
I am, I was born ready ♪

- Where are we, guys?
- You shall see.

- Just a little
low-key girls night.

Okay, ready?

Okay.
- Okay.

- Open.

Go.
- Oh, my God.

- Where are we going?

- Like, we have showgirls,
we're going on a plane,

obviously, it's nighttime already,
so it can't be a location that's far.

We're not going to, like,
Bermuda or something.

She has no bags packed.

Wait, can you
guess where we're going?

- I have no idea.
- How do you not know where we're go...

- Hello? Crystals,
sparkly... Vegas.

Vegas! Vegas!

- That was funny.
- What are we doing in Vegas?

- Vegas, baby. KHLOÉ:
Go to the plane.

We're playing Usher
music on the airplane.

Come on, Kim. Help me help you.

You really don't know
where we're going yet?

We're going to an
Usher concert!

My God, we're going to
a Usher concert.

I figured it out!

Oh, my God, Usher in Vegas.
Like, I heard the show's amazing.

We're on our
way to party, Kimberly!

- Now, I'm so excited to be going to Vegas
for my birthday with all my friends, like,

we're just... a concert
changes everything.

Oh my gosh. Okay, okay.

- It's about that time.
- Jell-O shot time.

Woo! GUEST 2: Cheers!

Cheers!

- I'm such an Usher fan. Who
isn't an Usher fan, right?

Like, he's the best.

- Ahh.

- It's known there's gonna be
turbulence. This is not a shock.

Vegas
is always bumpy.

It's just a little
windy, so nobody...

- I can wait
too. - Yeah.

Seatbelts on, ladies.

Well, I used to
be a flight attendant,

so I'm really good at being calm
on a plane when there's turbulence.

- Everything's okay.

- But, you know, it seems
a little extreme tonight.

I'm getting a little
nervous. I don't love turbulence.

This isn't the way the
party's supposed to start.

Very scary.

- This is some scary shit.

'They just said it was too windy,
so we're gonna try one more time,

and if not, we have to go home.

Are you
serious? - Yes.

Okay.

- We go down and
then we pull back up.

Are we landing?

- Twice.

And that scared me.

The first time, I'm like,
"Oh, you're joking."

And once I realized it's not a
joke, we actually can't land,

I was like, "Okay, I'm not,
I'm not messing with my life.

Like... let's go home."

But it sucks.

All
right, ladies and gentlemen,

the ATC will not let
us land in McCarran,

so, unfortunately, our only
option is to go back out.

But, for now, if everybody
can just please stay seated

in case we, uh, encounter
any more turbulence,

we should back, uh,
to Camarillo shortly.

- We feel so
terrible for everyone

that has moved mountains to make
this experience so wonderful

for Kimberly on her birthday.

You make plans and God laughs.

Well, here
we are, back home.

I can't
wait to go home.

I just got really
excited about home.

Thank you guys so much.

No, thank you
for making us safe.

Well, now, thank God we
had a dinner last night.

Although this was
supposed to be yesterday,

and there was no wind yesterday.

So, Kim, what
do you wanna do?

We're dressed up,
like, let's do something.

I have some
money, you guys.

Oh, thank God.

I know, I
actually have cash.

- Oh shit, there's a lotta
people in here, guys.

Stop.

- Let's just
do it. - Just do it.

You guys, this is going
to be our event for the evening.

Let's do it.

We all know how
much I love people.

Ya can. KIM: I can't.

Oh yeah, boa.
- There's more.

My God.

Hi, guys.

Are we gonna order back here?

- Totally normal.
- Totally.

- We always try to make the
best out of a bad situation,

no matter what happens.

What else is a girl to
do except go to In-N-Out?

Kris. KHLOÉ:
Mom. No, it's not a fan.

It's Malika yelling at you.
- It's me. I promise.

- Oh. No, no, I was just, um...

- Mom. Just get in the
photo. - Okay!

We have sequins,
feathers, burgers.

It's gonna be a party
no matter where we are.

- ♪ That's what
I'm talkin' about ♪

Mom, it's... I don't know how
the you've never been

to a fast-food restaurant.

- We don't need hundreds of dollars.
- Oh, my God.

- My mom gave me $100.

- Yep. I don't think she...
She tried to give me 300.

I don't think she realized how
much... fast-food restaurants are.

But...

- ♪ That's what
I'm talkin' about ♪

- This is my vegan cheat meal.

I'll have a plain cheeseburger
with light onions.

Cheese fries. Did
you get cheese fries?

O-M-G.

Am I getting them?

- Three of those. I ordered
for you. - Yes.

- Okay.
- I have a cheeseburger, no spread

with ketchup, mustard,
pickle, extra well-done,

a cheeseburger with
grilled onions,

a cheeseburger with grilled
onions, extra well-done,

a cheeseburger, no lettuce,
no tomato, with raw onions,

a double-double with, uh, onion,
a double-double, no onion,

four fries, two cheese fries, six
soft drinks, a chocolate shake.

- That sounds right, right?
- Sounds perfect.

- All right. $59.20, please.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Thank you, Kris.

- You got it, guys.

All right, kids, back
in the car. Bye, guys.

- Everyone just left.
- Um...

- Bye, guys...
Have a good night.

Fifty-four, please! Guest 54!

- What did everybody order? Are
we supposed to get their drinks?

Honey, this is my life. I'm okay.

I spoiled the
l... the surprises.

Happy birthday,
Kim.

Woo! KRIS:
Happy birthday, Kim.

Happy birthday.

- M'kay, I'm gonna
make o-one last toast.

- Toast it up.
- Okay, guys.

And this is my toast.

Kim's grandmother,

my mother-in-law... used to say,

"Show me who your friends are
and I'll show you who you are."

- Aw.
- And I think that you have

the greatest friends,
Kim, and you're so lucky,

and they've done this
beautiful evening for you

that didn't turn out exactly
the way that you guys wanted.

I've been a little down lately, just
thinking about some of the negativity

that comes along
with what we do.

But here we are having the best meal...
- But we tried.

- the best time, under the
craziest circumstances.

But it's times like this
that I feel really blessed

to have such an amazing
family, such amazing friends,

and being here watching
my kids have so much fun

makes me really happy.

And you guys are all the best, and
thanks for being so great to my Kim.

Love you.

Cheers. GUESTS: Cheers.

- Kimberly, burgs, and fries!

Next on The
Kardashians...

- How you feeling?
- I feel good. Why?

Should I not be feeling good?

- I'm getting Kris’d.

I'm throwing my mom her birthday dinner.
Everyone is dressing up like her.

- Oh, my God, what
is happening?!

- Croquembouche.
- Ohh!

- A croquembouche.

- Croquembouche.

- A croquembouche.

- You okay?
- Not okay.

It's so different than
the person that I married.

I just can't.

That's who I loved and
that's who I remember.

I'll do anything
to get that person back.

- ♪ Woo-ooh, ooh,
woo-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

- ♪ And rebels
don't keep score ♪

- ♪ Woo-ooh, ooh,
woo-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

- ♪ This is what we live for ♪

- ♪ Woo-ooh, ooh,
woo-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
- ♪ Rebels don't keep score ♪

- ♪ Whoa, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

- ♪ This is what we live for ♪

- Oh no.

- Why would she do that then?

- I have a bone
to pick with you.

- I have a bone
to pick with you.

- So, you knew about the
surprise for your birthday?

- Stop deflecting.

- You are a great actress.

Meryl Streep over here.

Okay... love you, bye.

liar.

What a bitch.