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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,431 --> 00:00:22,336 The Redeemer, 2 00:00:22,337 --> 00:00:24,973 like the Lord our God above, 3 00:00:24,974 --> 00:00:28,009 shall destroy them with a mighty destruction 4 00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:31,378 until they all be destroyed. 5 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,315 Through God's teachings, we can be the monster truck. 6 00:00:34,316 --> 00:00:38,152 We can smush the things that the devil puts in our way. 7 00:00:38,153 --> 00:00:40,154 Boom. 8 00:00:40,155 --> 00:00:41,923 Now, can I get an amen? 9 00:00:41,924 --> 00:00:43,024 All: Amen! 10 00:00:43,025 --> 00:00:44,560 Whoo! 11 00:00:48,997 --> 00:00:50,431 Y'all know I don't like to cuss, 12 00:00:50,432 --> 00:00:53,200 but what in the hell is this horseshit 13 00:00:53,201 --> 00:00:54,769 I'm looking at right now? 14 00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:56,370 Ooh, Mama said the S-word. 15 00:00:56,371 --> 00:00:58,406 This has nothing to do with church. 16 00:00:58,407 --> 00:01:00,074 He's making us look like fools, 17 00:01:00,075 --> 00:01:02,309 talking about we can be like a monster truck. 18 00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:04,713 I can't believe y'all let him pull this Hot Wheels mess. 19 00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:05,881 A good turnout, at least. 20 00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:08,248 A very profitable Friday night. 21 00:01:08,249 --> 00:01:09,617 Well, that's gotta count for something. 22 00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:11,820 We're putting butts in the seats. 23 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,354 Money ain't everything, baby. 24 00:01:13,355 --> 00:01:15,923 What we gonna do, start selling beer next? 25 00:01:15,924 --> 00:01:17,487 Get your ice cold beer here. 26 00:01:17,488 --> 00:01:19,827 Beer, beer, beer. 27 00:01:19,828 --> 00:01:22,697 Get your ice cold beer. 28 00:01:22,698 --> 00:01:24,933 Beer, beer, beer. 29 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,344 You. 30 00:01:36,345 --> 00:01:38,046 You're nothing but a fool. 31 00:01:38,047 --> 00:01:39,948 Pretending on TV to be all kind and caring, 32 00:01:39,949 --> 00:01:42,517 but I know the truth. 33 00:01:42,518 --> 00:01:43,550 May-May? 34 00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,791 Damn you to hell, Aimee-Leigh. 35 00:01:52,461 --> 00:01:55,930 Somebody help me! She's trying to kill me! 36 00:01:55,931 --> 00:01:57,064 Help me! 37 00:01:57,065 --> 00:01:58,666 Help! 38 00:01:58,667 --> 00:01:59,901 Help me! 39 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,803 She's trying to kill me! 40 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,188 You think I'd just live with it, 41 00:02:20,189 --> 00:02:21,756 what you done to my family? 42 00:02:21,757 --> 00:02:23,324 Please, May-May, this ain't the way. 43 00:02:23,325 --> 00:02:25,126 Now it's your turn to feel... 44 00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,733 What the hell? I'm sorry! 45 00:02:55,326 --> 00:02:58,592 We are the elite of the evangelical world. 46 00:02:58,593 --> 00:03:03,364 Our capes embrace us like the arms of Jesus Christ. 47 00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:07,268 We wear it in celebration of his love. 48 00:03:07,269 --> 00:03:09,504 The pistol gives the power to take life. 49 00:03:09,505 --> 00:03:12,835 The Lord gave us free will to do as we choose. 50 00:03:12,836 --> 00:03:15,076 Thusly, it is a righteous man 51 00:03:15,077 --> 00:03:18,007 who wears the pistol yet does no evil. 52 00:03:18,008 --> 00:03:21,282 Under the eyes of God, we are the men 53 00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:24,185 of the Cape and Pistol Society. 54 00:03:31,493 --> 00:03:33,528 Hey, how you enjoying your retirement there, Eli? 55 00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:35,230 Oh, he ain't retired. 56 00:03:35,231 --> 00:03:36,765 He's writing books. 57 00:03:36,766 --> 00:03:37,865 He's doing press. 58 00:03:37,866 --> 00:03:40,936 Admit it, Eli, you can't stay out of the spotlight. 59 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:42,370 No, no, no. 60 00:03:42,371 --> 00:03:45,173 You better believe I'm gonna be fishing and sipping. 61 00:03:45,174 --> 00:03:46,574 Fishing and sipping. 62 00:03:46,575 --> 00:03:48,643 You scared your kids gonna blow it. 63 00:03:50,246 --> 00:03:51,280 Pretty much. 64 00:04:04,462 --> 00:04:08,329 ♪ We're marching to Zion ♪ 65 00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:11,800 ♪ Beautiful, beautiful Zion ♪ 66 00:04:11,801 --> 00:04:16,004 ♪ We're marching upward to Zion ♪ 67 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:19,741 ♪ The beautiful city of God ♪ 68 00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:22,811 Zion is a beautiful resort, sir. 69 00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:23,812 Yeah. 70 00:04:23,813 --> 00:04:24,913 Heaven on Earth. 71 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:26,147 - Amen. - Yeah. 72 00:04:26,148 --> 00:04:28,149 Take it in while you can. 73 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:29,712 What's that? 74 00:04:29,713 --> 00:04:31,285 Really, Gregory? 75 00:04:31,286 --> 00:04:32,821 I had a fucking thing planned. 76 00:04:32,822 --> 00:04:34,255 Oh, I'm sorry, Jess. 77 00:04:34,256 --> 00:04:36,023 What's happening right now? 78 00:04:36,024 --> 00:04:38,192 Well, go on, Gregory, you want to spill the damn beans, 79 00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:39,428 speak out of turn, tell him. - Really? 80 00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:40,595 Do it, damn it. 81 00:04:40,596 --> 00:04:42,897 You're fired, Walker. 82 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,099 Take it like a man if you can. 83 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,200 Ooh! 84 00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:47,334 What are they talking about, Jesse? 85 00:04:47,335 --> 00:04:48,569 I've driven your daddy for years, 86 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,438 and you know I would take a bullet. 87 00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:52,368 Well, I used to think that, 88 00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:54,576 until I started seeing little tidbits about my family 89 00:04:54,577 --> 00:04:55,944 being published online. 90 00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:58,580 Little insights into the transition of power. 91 00:04:58,581 --> 00:05:00,181 You got the wrong guy, Jesse. 92 00:05:01,684 --> 00:05:02,784 Behold. 93 00:05:02,785 --> 00:05:05,520 This was published in "Christian Times." 94 00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:08,389 "After the Gemstone heirs got the dismal poll numbers, 95 00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:11,125 "Amber Gemstone made sugar cookies 96 00:05:11,126 --> 00:05:13,361 to lighten the mood..." - Mm. 97 00:05:13,362 --> 00:05:15,563 "Says an insider to the family." 98 00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:18,032 I ain't the only one you told that story to, Jesse. 99 00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,367 It's a nice story. 100 00:05:19,368 --> 00:05:21,297 Sugar cookies ain't real, bitch. 101 00:05:21,298 --> 00:05:24,272 That's a detail I made up to sniff out the rat. 102 00:05:24,273 --> 00:05:25,639 She made crescents, son. 103 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,909 You're the only one I told sugar cooks to, 104 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,611 you fucking snitch. 105 00:05:29,612 --> 00:05:30,812 Grab his ass. - What? 106 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:32,646 Come on, now. No, no, no, no, no, no. 107 00:05:32,647 --> 00:05:35,183 - What is happening? - Here you go, here you go. 108 00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:36,184 Whack him, Jess. Come on. 109 00:05:36,185 --> 00:05:38,286 Keep an eye out, Levi. 110 00:05:38,287 --> 00:05:39,287 - Jesse, please. - Come on, now. Get him. 111 00:05:39,288 --> 00:05:40,789 Tally-ho. 112 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:42,023 What? 113 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,292 Hey, how you doing? 114 00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:46,027 We're just having fun, just playing around. 115 00:05:46,028 --> 00:05:48,096 Damn it, Jesse, you brought me all the way to Florida 116 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,331 just to fire me? 117 00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:50,731 Yes, I did. 118 00:05:50,732 --> 00:05:53,334 When your family asks how you broke your nose, 119 00:05:53,335 --> 00:05:56,337 tell them it was a kite surfing accident. 120 00:05:56,338 --> 00:05:58,039 My nose ain't broken. 121 00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:02,310 Yeah, it is. 122 00:06:02,311 --> 00:06:05,113 Kite surfing's a lot harder than it looks. 123 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,648 How was your Judy On Top tour? 124 00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:07,681 Fun? 125 00:06:07,682 --> 00:06:09,751 Oh, you know, it's life on the road. 126 00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:11,986 Port to port, city to city, 127 00:06:11,987 --> 00:06:14,390 screaming fans. 128 00:06:14,391 --> 00:06:16,392 Oh. 129 00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:18,259 Mm, thank you. 130 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:20,857 Hey, that was a cold fish kiss. 131 00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,163 Everything OK, Jude? 132 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,899 Yeah, it's just, I've been on a five-state tour, Beej. 133 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,535 I'm tired. 134 00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:28,236 Cut me some friggin' slack. 135 00:06:28,237 --> 00:06:30,171 My gosh. 136 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,672 Well, my famous wife. 137 00:06:31,673 --> 00:06:32,940 I always knew when I married you, 138 00:06:32,941 --> 00:06:34,376 I'd have to share you with the world. 139 00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:36,544 OK, I gotta go. 140 00:06:36,545 --> 00:06:38,412 What? Already? 141 00:06:38,413 --> 00:06:39,747 Well, I have work duties, Beej. 142 00:06:39,748 --> 00:06:42,017 Me and my brothers run the church now. 143 00:06:42,018 --> 00:06:43,018 I love you so much. 144 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,189 I love you too. 145 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,757 So glad you're home. 146 00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:52,794 Oh, Keefe, this is gonna hurt. 147 00:06:52,795 --> 00:06:54,495 No doubt. 148 00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:56,564 We wiped out most of their stock. 149 00:06:56,565 --> 00:06:59,600 That shop's gonna have nothing else to sell like this. 150 00:06:59,601 --> 00:07:02,470 Until they restock. And then what? 151 00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:05,306 And we'll return and buy it all again. 152 00:07:05,307 --> 00:07:06,974 Remember yourself, Taryn. 153 00:07:06,975 --> 00:07:08,076 No. 154 00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:09,744 No, she has a point. 155 00:07:09,745 --> 00:07:12,174 We're trying to shut these deviants down, 156 00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:13,982 not give them an economic boost. 157 00:07:13,983 --> 00:07:19,053 But I'm still so impressed by you guys. 158 00:07:19,054 --> 00:07:21,522 This just shows me how motivated y'all are 159 00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:23,758 to achieve the goals of the Smut Busters. 160 00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:29,564 Both: No smut, no lust, no coconuts. 161 00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:31,232 Come on, y'all. 162 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,770 Part of being in the group is doing the saying when we do it. 163 00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:37,143 I did not know what was happening. 164 00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:49,150 Through the power of Christ's love 165 00:07:49,151 --> 00:07:50,819 and Lasik surgery, 166 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,722 we have restored sight to the blind 167 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,590 or at least the nearsighted. 168 00:07:56,591 --> 00:08:00,227 These primitive people can see Christ's world 169 00:08:00,228 --> 00:08:03,897 and read signs at night much better because of us. 170 00:08:03,898 --> 00:08:05,299 Well, I'm not sure how many of these primitive people 171 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,735 are reading street signs tonight in the rain forest. 172 00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:09,036 And that's not really the main reason why we did it. 173 00:08:09,037 --> 00:08:10,537 I didn't say it was the main reason. 174 00:08:10,538 --> 00:08:11,840 Well, you are heavily featuring it, so... 175 00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:13,541 OK, boys, time to wrap it up. 176 00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:14,876 They're trying to get back to me singing. 177 00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:16,210 We're accompanying the montage, Judy. 178 00:08:16,211 --> 00:08:17,411 You're not the main part. 179 00:08:17,412 --> 00:08:19,047 Yeah, this isn't a solo tour, Judy. 180 00:08:19,048 --> 00:08:20,048 No, it's not. 181 00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:21,415 We're doing our thing right now, thank you. 182 00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,484 You're not the main reason. 183 00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:25,152 ♪ A new revelation ♪ 184 00:08:25,153 --> 00:08:29,157 ♪ Will set you free ♪ - ♪ Hallelujah for his light ♪ 185 00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:32,827 ♪ Illumination ♪ 186 00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:34,300 ♪ Soon you will see ♪ 187 00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:37,765 Took care of your driver Walker. 188 00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:39,634 That bitch is history, Daddy. 189 00:08:39,635 --> 00:08:40,969 Lying sneak. 190 00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,704 Well, we're gonna need a new driver. 191 00:08:42,705 --> 00:08:44,673 Somebody we can trust this time. 192 00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,007 We'll get you one. 193 00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:48,437 Hopefully, maybe Judy and Kelvin could help out, 194 00:08:48,438 --> 00:08:51,346 seeing as how I do every other goddamn thing 195 00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:52,480 around here lately. 196 00:08:52,481 --> 00:08:54,248 Man, Jesse, shut the fuck up. 197 00:08:54,249 --> 00:08:55,517 You ain't the boss of us. 198 00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:56,446 I'm the main decider. 199 00:08:56,447 --> 00:08:58,653 We're all deciders, Jesse, not just you. 200 00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,454 Oh, please, Kelvin. 201 00:09:00,455 --> 00:09:02,023 You and old slow eyes over there 202 00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:04,325 are off doing your damn pervert protest 203 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,454 to help with the church at all. 204 00:09:05,455 --> 00:09:07,728 The Smut Busters have already taken down 205 00:09:07,729 --> 00:09:10,898 16 porno shops on the I-95 corridor alone. 206 00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:12,600 Well, I'm glad that truck drivers 207 00:09:12,601 --> 00:09:14,536 won't be able to buy dick pills anymore. 208 00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:15,564 Bravo. 209 00:09:15,565 --> 00:09:17,199 Look, the point is that none of y'all but Jesse 210 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,206 are doing anything important. 211 00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:20,109 You know, this has been 212 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,643 a really hard time for our family. 213 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,111 Our son was injured, 214 00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:25,180 almost killed, in a work accident. 215 00:09:25,181 --> 00:09:26,181 Mom, please don't. 216 00:09:26,182 --> 00:09:27,549 This has been very traumatic for us, 217 00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:29,250 and y'all don't even care. 218 00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:31,052 Gideon, your mom is trying to Munchhausen you. 219 00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:33,922 Amber, you need to stop trying to milk sympathy votes 220 00:09:33,923 --> 00:09:35,890 for your son being a crippled, OK? 221 00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:37,225 Jesse, get her ass in line. 222 00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:38,927 Maybe you need to stop talking about Baron Munchausen. 223 00:09:38,928 --> 00:09:40,661 Can we please just eat in peace? 224 00:09:40,662 --> 00:09:44,498 Unfortunately, I have some not-so-peaceful news. 225 00:09:44,499 --> 00:09:47,135 As you all know, since your daddy has taken a step back, 226 00:09:47,136 --> 00:09:51,672 there has been a decline in both attendance and donations. 227 00:09:51,673 --> 00:09:53,307 I have noticed that the seats high up 228 00:09:53,308 --> 00:09:54,743 have been empty more and more. 229 00:09:54,744 --> 00:09:56,544 And now I've been informed 230 00:09:56,545 --> 00:09:59,481 that one of our largest benefactors 231 00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,048 is departing. 232 00:10:01,049 --> 00:10:02,116 Who? 233 00:10:02,117 --> 00:10:04,320 The race car driver, Dusty Daniels. 234 00:10:04,321 --> 00:10:05,754 Dusty Daniels? 235 00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:07,388 The Slick Bandit? 236 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,790 That guy's a living legend. 237 00:10:08,791 --> 00:10:09,791 He's, like, 100 years old. 238 00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:11,659 He's gonna be dead soon anyway, so, oh, well. 239 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:15,096 Our ministry was to receive his entire estate, 240 00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:18,834 including branding, corporation, even his name. 241 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,702 Pfft. So what? We got names. 242 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,803 Don't need his. 243 00:10:21,804 --> 00:10:23,671 His name is currently estimated 244 00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:26,407 to be worth over $200 million. 245 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:29,043 - Huh? - Motherfucker. 246 00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:32,814 We were also set to inherit Dusty's trademark slogan, 247 00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:33,915 "Whoo-whee, sucker!" 248 00:10:33,916 --> 00:10:37,251 Merchandising alone, over $30 million. 249 00:10:37,252 --> 00:10:39,520 Is this because of the goddamn shitty poll numbers? 250 00:10:39,521 --> 00:10:41,054 Which shitty poll numbers, Jesse? 251 00:10:41,055 --> 00:10:44,525 The ones where 85% said you're colder than a fucking ice cube 252 00:10:44,526 --> 00:10:46,561 shoved up a polar bear's asshole? 253 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:47,795 I remember those same pollsters saying 254 00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,196 that your songs are when most people in church 255 00:10:49,197 --> 00:10:50,431 go to take a shit. 256 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:52,968 Prove it, Jesse. 257 00:10:52,969 --> 00:10:54,169 I will. 258 00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:56,303 Maybe if y'all stopped henpecking at one another 259 00:10:56,304 --> 00:10:58,473 and started trying to fix what ain't working, 260 00:10:58,474 --> 00:10:59,975 you wouldn't be in this situation. 261 00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:02,138 You all need to go connect with him, 262 00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:03,711 win his confidence. 263 00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:06,647 If Dusty's not happy, I don't blame him. 264 00:11:06,648 --> 00:11:08,750 I will try to go and minister to him. 265 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,251 We'll see if these guys will help. 266 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,419 I'll do it, Daddy. 267 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,821 - Bleh. - Meh. 268 00:11:12,822 --> 00:11:14,288 - Meh-meh. - Bleh. 269 00:11:14,289 --> 00:11:15,258 Unh. 270 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,324 Unh. 271 00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:18,725 - Grow up. - Ugh. 272 00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:31,934 - Yes. - Whoo! 273 00:11:31,935 --> 00:11:33,145 Yes. 274 00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:37,445 Man, real talk, y'all, I don't get this race car shit. 275 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:38,813 Bunch of rednecks racing around, 276 00:11:38,814 --> 00:11:40,514 seeing who can go nowhere the fastest. 277 00:11:40,515 --> 00:11:43,284 OK, well, now's not the time to be PMS'ing, Judy. 278 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,348 - Psh! - She's been a real B-I-T-C-H 279 00:11:46,349 --> 00:11:47,956 since she got back from tour. 280 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,458 Man, why is everybody wondering about my tour, 281 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,993 asking me what happened on tour? 282 00:11:51,994 --> 00:11:54,530 I sang fucking songs, OK? That's it. 283 00:11:54,531 --> 00:11:55,897 End of story. 284 00:11:55,898 --> 00:11:57,198 Somebody's been acting mysterious. 285 00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:58,666 - Fuck off. - What happened on tour? 286 00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,201 - Fuck off, nothing. - Here he comes. Shh. 287 00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:02,637 By the way, I'm on my period, not PMS'ing. 288 00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:03,872 Guys, here he comes. Big smiles. 289 00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,234 - OK. - Cheers. Big cheers. 290 00:12:05,235 --> 00:12:06,274 - OK. Whoo! - Yes. 291 00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:09,411 - Yes! - Oh, yes! 292 00:12:11,046 --> 00:12:12,781 Yay! 293 00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:14,448 - Whoo! - Yeah! 294 00:12:14,449 --> 00:12:17,052 - Yes! - Whoo-whee, sucker! 295 00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:19,854 The Slick Bandit looking slicker than ever. 296 00:12:19,855 --> 00:12:21,690 God's fastest son on four wheels. 297 00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:23,725 Someone's fixing for a comeback. 298 00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:26,160 Waste of your time coming up here. 299 00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:27,629 Ain't nothing the three of you can say 300 00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:29,297 gonna change my mind. 301 00:12:29,298 --> 00:12:30,732 OK. 302 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,967 Let me shoot you straight. 303 00:12:32,968 --> 00:12:36,070 Your church has changed. 304 00:12:36,071 --> 00:12:38,840 See, when Eli was heading things up, I was happy. 305 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,876 Now that he ain't, I don't like it so much. 306 00:12:41,877 --> 00:12:44,245 The thing is, we are gonna make this right. 307 00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:45,147 - Yeah. - OK? 308 00:12:45,148 --> 00:12:46,915 We're young and up to the task, dude. 309 00:12:46,916 --> 00:12:48,249 See, that's the thing. 310 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:49,951 I don't trust young people. I'm old-school. 311 00:12:49,952 --> 00:12:51,118 Well, you know, actually, we are not 312 00:12:51,119 --> 00:12:52,554 as young as you think we are. 313 00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:55,223 I mean, Kelvin does Botox. 314 00:12:55,224 --> 00:12:56,524 - I don't do Botox. - You do... 315 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,092 You do, too, do Botox. - Never done Botox, so... 316 00:12:58,093 --> 00:12:59,593 OK, then why is there an indention 317 00:12:59,594 --> 00:13:01,863 where your sunglasses smushed your Botox forehead? 318 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,064 - There isn't one. - Yeah, there is. 319 00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:04,098 - No, there's not. - Right here. 320 00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,133 Dusty, Jesse's got more grays than you do, man. 321 00:13:06,134 --> 00:13:08,636 Dude is rocking a bad dye job. 322 00:13:09,906 --> 00:13:11,706 He didn't use to look like a deformed Dracula. 323 00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,341 I do not look like a deformed Dracula. 324 00:13:13,342 --> 00:13:15,442 - Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. - I don't dye my hair. 325 00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:17,111 I just changed my shampoo is all, you idiots. 326 00:13:17,112 --> 00:13:18,947 - See? - Oh, really? 327 00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:22,049 Right there. 328 00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:25,353 When I used to watch your mama and daddy, I felt the love. 329 00:13:25,354 --> 00:13:26,621 It was nice. 330 00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:29,056 I don't feel the love in this current configuration. 331 00:13:29,057 --> 00:13:31,993 So I'm pulling up my stakes and I'm making a change. 332 00:13:31,994 --> 00:13:33,661 We can... we love... We love each other. 333 00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:34,763 - I love 'em. - We do. 334 00:13:34,764 --> 00:13:36,297 We're in love with each other. - We do. 335 00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:37,933 Olive juice you. 336 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,903 Whoo-whee, sucker! 337 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,471 Oh, there he go. 338 00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,181 ♪ Metal we fight ♪ 339 00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:55,450 ♪ Power amps set to explode ♪ 340 00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:57,853 Jesus in Jerusalem. 341 00:13:57,854 --> 00:14:00,755 The fucking Simkins. 342 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:04,993 ♪ Warheads are ready to fight ♪ 343 00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:07,162 ♪ Yeah, black leather hounds ♪ 344 00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:09,263 ♪ Faster than sound ♪ 345 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:12,266 ♪ Metal our purpose in life ♪ 346 00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:14,602 ♪ Baby, it's black metal ♪ 347 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:15,804 Good to see you. 348 00:14:15,805 --> 00:14:17,038 Dusty, tell me you have not signed 349 00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:19,140 with these snake oil salesmen. 350 00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:20,975 Oh, take it easy, Jesse. 351 00:14:20,976 --> 00:14:23,310 We don't want no ill will with the Gemstones. 352 00:14:23,311 --> 00:14:25,881 Dusty and our family go way back. 353 00:14:25,882 --> 00:14:27,548 I worship with them now. 354 00:14:27,549 --> 00:14:29,917 They're "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type folks. 355 00:14:29,918 --> 00:14:31,019 I like that. 356 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,487 Nobody handed it to them. - OK. 357 00:14:32,488 --> 00:14:34,856 Yeah, after Mom and Dad died in the plane crash... 358 00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,057 Here we go. 359 00:14:36,058 --> 00:14:37,393 I had to raise my siblings. 360 00:14:37,394 --> 00:14:38,559 Mm-hmm. 361 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,428 I could have returned Craig to the orphanage, 362 00:14:40,429 --> 00:14:42,497 but I knew my parents wouldn't have wanted that. 363 00:14:42,498 --> 00:14:44,833 So we banded together 364 00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,168 to finish what they so humbly had started. 365 00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:49,170 Look where we are today. 366 00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:50,972 Helping millions around the world. 367 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,974 And getting bigger every day. 368 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:53,975 Yes, ma'am. 369 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,176 Hey, Dusty. 370 00:14:55,177 --> 00:14:57,178 You are looking good. 371 00:14:57,179 --> 00:14:58,913 I appreciate that, Shay. 372 00:14:58,914 --> 00:15:01,153 You ain't looking so bad yourself. 373 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,150 Hey, Dusty. 374 00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:05,019 'Sup, boy? 375 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,021 I also think you're a hot man. 376 00:15:07,022 --> 00:15:09,257 Not just Shay. She's not the only one here. 377 00:15:09,258 --> 00:15:10,325 How am I looking to you right now? 378 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,761 Pretty good too? - Sure, you... 379 00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:14,829 All y'all look good, but... 380 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,064 it ain't all about the looks. 381 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,434 And that's a really good thing, because if it were, 382 00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:19,868 we'd win by a mile. 383 00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:20,935 Am I right? - You're right. 384 00:15:20,936 --> 00:15:22,270 - Bodies, our bodies. - He's right. 385 00:15:22,271 --> 00:15:24,005 Not a damn one of you looking as fine as me. 386 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,240 - Mm-hmm. - You're gorgeous, Craig. 387 00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:27,809 - Ugh. - Dusty, you've worshipped 388 00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:30,111 with our family for 35-plus years. 389 00:15:30,112 --> 00:15:31,746 You gotta give us another shot. 390 00:15:31,747 --> 00:15:33,414 I'll tell you what. 391 00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:37,786 Y'all want me to be a member of your church so bad, 392 00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:39,220 why don't you battle for me? 393 00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:41,355 Battle? What do you mean? 394 00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:44,191 Like a footrace or see who can hold their breath the longest? 395 00:15:44,192 --> 00:15:47,295 - Like an egg toss? - No. 396 00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:49,764 Let's settle it in one of those. 397 00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,433 I don't really know stock cars. 398 00:15:56,434 --> 00:15:57,672 Chicken, Simkins? 399 00:16:00,604 --> 00:16:01,777 What are they doing? - Ew. 400 00:16:01,778 --> 00:16:04,612 Dusty, we feel the Lord has led you 401 00:16:04,613 --> 00:16:08,149 to where you're supposed to be, worshipping with us. 402 00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,156 I'll drive on behalf of my family. 403 00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:13,788 - Ew, what are you doing? - Ow, what are you doing? 404 00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:14,823 - Ow. - Jesse. 405 00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:15,824 Trying to hold your hands. 406 00:16:15,825 --> 00:16:17,258 - Grab it so hard. - Ugh. 407 00:16:17,259 --> 00:16:19,227 - Let it happen, fuckers. - Ugh. 408 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,898 Dusty, we as well have... 409 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,432 Also believe that the Lord is... 410 00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:27,468 Wants to have you on our side too. 411 00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:31,006 So on behalf of my family, I will drive too. 412 00:16:31,007 --> 00:16:32,908 - Ow. - Ew. It's so awkward. 413 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,876 - Ow. - So there it is. 414 00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:38,514 ♪ Let me see you go ♪ 415 00:16:44,987 --> 00:16:46,187 OK, homey. 416 00:16:46,188 --> 00:16:47,388 You sure you got this? 417 00:16:47,389 --> 00:16:49,123 Come on. My car at home is fast as fuck. 418 00:16:49,124 --> 00:16:50,592 How can this be any different? 419 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,727 Besides, you heard him. 420 00:16:51,728 --> 00:16:54,095 He says he's got zero experience. 421 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,132 Well, I said no experience in stock cars. 422 00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,334 I've dabbled in Formula 1. 423 00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:02,904 That son of a bitch. 424 00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:04,572 OK, that means he's gonna eff it up. 425 00:17:04,573 --> 00:17:06,178 Yup. 426 00:17:08,508 --> 00:17:10,111 Let's race. 427 00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:13,348 ♪ Don't take that down ♪ 428 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:14,816 ♪ Let me see you go ♪ 429 00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:21,557 ♪ Don't take that down ♪ 430 00:17:22,891 --> 00:17:24,493 ♪ Don't take that ♪ 431 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,997 ♪ Let me see you go up ♪ 432 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,167 ♪ Let me see you go up ♪ 433 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,372 God damn it! 434 00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,040 Do the gas! Do the gas, boy! 435 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,909 My car is broken! 436 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:43,378 Go, you fucking race car! 437 00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:44,683 Go! 438 00:17:46,585 --> 00:17:47,585 Whoo! 439 00:17:59,364 --> 00:18:00,695 - Fuck! - Ah! 440 00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:01,863 What happened, Jesse? 441 00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,264 That's embarrassing, dude. 442 00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:05,537 Whoo-whee, sucker! 443 00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:12,473 Now that I'm semiretired, 444 00:18:12,474 --> 00:18:16,745 this change has given me time to reflect on my life 445 00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:18,312 and my journey with Christ. 446 00:18:18,313 --> 00:18:22,116 I've put these reflections down in a written word, 447 00:18:22,117 --> 00:18:25,854 my definitive autobiography. 448 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,721 Why definitive, you ask? 449 00:18:27,722 --> 00:18:30,659 Well, because it's about the third one I've written. 450 00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:34,428 I guess I lived longer than I thought 451 00:18:34,429 --> 00:18:38,467 and I still have a little more to say. 452 00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:42,274 Thank you. Thank you. 453 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:47,042 Ah, thank you very much for coming. 454 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,938 I knew I recognized you. - Yes, sir. 455 00:18:48,939 --> 00:18:50,311 God bless you, and have a great day. 456 00:18:50,312 --> 00:18:51,883 Thank you. Bless you. 457 00:18:58,354 --> 00:18:59,955 You got a lot of nerve coming here. 458 00:18:59,956 --> 00:19:01,422 Well, I paid the signing fee. 459 00:19:01,423 --> 00:19:03,657 Figures you have to pay money to get a little face time. 460 00:19:03,658 --> 00:19:05,326 We've got a restraining order against you. 461 00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:06,994 Security. - I need your help, Eli. 462 00:19:06,995 --> 00:19:08,095 I don't care what you need. 463 00:19:08,096 --> 00:19:09,364 Well, Aimee-Leigh would hear me out. 464 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:10,398 You know she would. 465 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,668 How dare you say her name? 466 00:19:12,669 --> 00:19:13,502 Get her out of here. 467 00:19:13,503 --> 00:19:14,801 Eli, please, I need your help. 468 00:19:14,802 --> 00:19:16,037 - Just get out of here. - It's my boys, Eli. 469 00:19:16,038 --> 00:19:17,171 Get out! 470 00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:18,239 I wouldn't have come to you otherwise. 471 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,709 Let go of me. I'm going. - Out. 472 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,611 39 Christian marriage counselors 473 00:19:24,612 --> 00:19:27,048 were brought on as consultants to ensure 474 00:19:27,049 --> 00:19:29,417 that The System was effective, 475 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,020 a program you can use at home to help your marriage 476 00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:34,355 better honor Jesus Christ. 477 00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:37,993 For just $500, you get The System starter kit, 478 00:19:37,994 --> 00:19:40,994 which has everything you need to begin your journey 479 00:19:40,995 --> 00:19:44,065 to a happy and healthy marriage in the eyes of the Lord. 480 00:19:44,066 --> 00:19:46,367 Is your marriage important to you? 481 00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:48,269 Then what are you waiting for? 482 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,137 All: Call now. 483 00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:52,173 Well, did y'all get Dusty back? 484 00:19:52,174 --> 00:19:53,474 Nope. 485 00:19:53,475 --> 00:19:55,476 Lost him to the fucking Simkins, of all people. 486 00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:58,012 The siblings whose parents died in a plane crash? 487 00:19:58,013 --> 00:19:59,247 Yes. 488 00:19:59,248 --> 00:20:01,449 They are so fucking lucky. 489 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,217 I wish that I had some traumatic event 490 00:20:03,218 --> 00:20:04,919 that happened to me that I can exploit 491 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,620 and make people like us. 492 00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:09,390 I mean, our origin story sucks compared to theirs. 493 00:20:09,391 --> 00:20:11,526 I mean, nobody's rooting for born-wealthy people 494 00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:13,928 to become more wealthy. 495 00:20:13,929 --> 00:20:15,930 I'm really worried. Are you? 496 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,932 No. A little concerned. 497 00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:20,501 You know, obviously, I wish that Judy and Kelvin's mouths 498 00:20:20,502 --> 00:20:23,337 were taped shut and that you were the only one in charge. 499 00:20:23,338 --> 00:20:25,806 Baby, their energy makes you all look desperate. 500 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,842 Well, I mean, that's because we are desperate. 501 00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:30,111 We're picking up where Eli Gemstone left off, 502 00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:31,712 a man who's done this job for, like, 503 00:20:31,713 --> 00:20:33,447 a fucking hundreds of thousands of years 504 00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:35,482 and is America's Jesus daddy. 505 00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:36,985 Look, I'm not trying to rain on your parade. 506 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,352 You know, I'm really glad you have 507 00:20:38,353 --> 00:20:40,154 your counseling, you know, thingamabob, 508 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:41,255 you know, whatever this is. 509 00:20:41,256 --> 00:20:43,091 - The System. - Sure, whatever. 510 00:20:43,092 --> 00:20:44,491 Yeah. 511 00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:45,626 It seems like it's taking up a lot of your time. 512 00:20:45,627 --> 00:20:47,395 And this is a moment when I could really use 513 00:20:47,396 --> 00:20:49,263 all hands on deck at home. 514 00:20:49,264 --> 00:20:50,597 What's not getting done at home? 515 00:20:50,598 --> 00:20:53,234 I don't know if you noticed, but our son Pontius 516 00:20:53,235 --> 00:20:56,037 has tattooed another word on his fucking face. 517 00:20:56,038 --> 00:20:57,604 "Blessed." I know. 518 00:20:57,605 --> 00:20:59,474 It just seems like you're, you know, 519 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,910 giving a lot of attention to other people's relationships, 520 00:21:01,911 --> 00:21:05,079 and perhaps if you focused more on your own, 521 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,780 you know, we wouldn't have children 522 00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:08,715 putting fucking calligraphy on their faces. 523 00:21:08,716 --> 00:21:10,551 Look, baby, I know that you're upset, 524 00:21:10,552 --> 00:21:12,688 but please don't take it out on me, OK? 525 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,355 A small decline was to be expected 526 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,024 with this kind of transition. 527 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:17,086 You know it's like? 528 00:21:17,087 --> 00:21:18,560 When Jay Leno took over for Carson. 529 00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:20,327 It was rocky there for a bit. 530 00:21:20,328 --> 00:21:22,096 But what happened in the end? 531 00:21:22,097 --> 00:21:24,398 Leno shot to the top. 532 00:21:24,399 --> 00:21:27,268 What if we're not Leno? 533 00:21:27,269 --> 00:21:28,975 What if we're just Conan? 534 00:21:31,042 --> 00:21:32,606 Fuck me. 535 00:21:32,607 --> 00:21:34,142 This ministry helped me unlock 536 00:21:34,143 --> 00:21:36,144 the best version of myself. 537 00:21:36,145 --> 00:21:37,211 And I'm not just saying that 538 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:38,880 because I married into the family. 539 00:21:40,182 --> 00:21:42,016 Who knows what Gemstone Salvation Center 540 00:21:42,017 --> 00:21:43,384 can do for you? 541 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,587 Now, Janice and Tall Jay have enrollment packages. 542 00:21:46,588 --> 00:21:50,291 Scan the QR code for easy, step-by-step instructions 543 00:21:50,292 --> 00:21:52,493 on how to have tithing automatically deducted 544 00:21:52,494 --> 00:21:54,628 from your account each month. 545 00:21:54,629 --> 00:21:58,032 It's never been easier to share your praise. 546 00:22:03,341 --> 00:22:04,939 Mm. 547 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:07,241 Man, I am crushing my Welcome Center duties. 548 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,643 They were feeling me today. 549 00:22:08,644 --> 00:22:10,178 Yeah, you're really working it. 550 00:22:10,179 --> 00:22:11,412 That's for sure. 551 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:12,914 Here. I got you some gifts. 552 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,015 - Gifts? - Yeah. 553 00:22:14,016 --> 00:22:15,249 Why? 554 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,419 I just was thinking about what a good husband you are 555 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,586 and how much I love you. 556 00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:19,754 Go ahead. Take a look. 557 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,155 OK. 558 00:22:21,156 --> 00:22:22,924 An infrared meat thermometer, 559 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:24,192 Theragun, 560 00:22:24,193 --> 00:22:25,427 a VR headset. 561 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,895 Wow. - Wow. 562 00:22:26,896 --> 00:22:28,996 I've been wanting one of these. 563 00:22:28,997 --> 00:22:31,165 Now I can fully immerse myself in the nature and space games 564 00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:33,367 that I gravitate toward. 565 00:22:33,368 --> 00:22:35,236 These are really thoughtful, Judy. 566 00:22:35,237 --> 00:22:37,433 But this isn't necessary. 567 00:22:37,434 --> 00:22:39,841 Goddang, why you gotta kick my gift horse in the nuts 568 00:22:39,842 --> 00:22:41,209 right now? 569 00:22:41,210 --> 00:22:42,877 Is everything OK? 570 00:22:42,878 --> 00:22:44,311 Feels like things have been a little off 571 00:22:44,312 --> 00:22:46,582 since you got back from tour. 572 00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:49,250 Oh, my God. What? 573 00:22:49,251 --> 00:22:50,684 No, everything's great. 574 00:22:50,685 --> 00:22:52,454 Why are you reading stuff into things? 575 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,820 Everything's awesome. 576 00:22:53,821 --> 00:22:55,722 I just love you. I wanted to give you presents. 577 00:22:55,723 --> 00:22:59,627 Don't emotionally disappoint me right now. 578 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:02,134 Yeah, well, I love you too. Thank you for the gifts. 579 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:10,104 Just like any family, we've had our ups and downs. 580 00:23:10,105 --> 00:23:14,575 And it's no secret we've faced some controversy. 581 00:23:14,576 --> 00:23:18,345 In the early 2000s, we found ourselves in a war 582 00:23:18,346 --> 00:23:21,182 with the press and detractors. 583 00:23:21,183 --> 00:23:22,884 My wife would stay awake, 584 00:23:22,885 --> 00:23:25,591 concerned with how people saw her. 585 00:23:27,857 --> 00:23:30,992 That they were getting the wrong message. 586 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:32,527 I assured... 587 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,366 Hey, mind if we take a little break? 588 00:23:38,367 --> 00:23:41,903 Yes, sir. We can take a small break. 589 00:23:53,781 --> 00:23:55,917 Goddamn, what the hell are y'all cooking out here? 590 00:23:55,918 --> 00:23:58,519 - Devil's objects. - Devil's objects? 591 00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,455 Man, I don't think you're supposed 592 00:23:59,456 --> 00:24:00,456 to be burning this stuff. 593 00:24:00,457 --> 00:24:01,489 That shit's poisonous. 594 00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:03,091 Yeah, I don't feel very well. 595 00:24:03,092 --> 00:24:05,292 The smoke was green from some of the butt plugs, 596 00:24:05,293 --> 00:24:07,695 and it smelled like pool toys. 597 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,397 Keefe, how about we take a little break 598 00:24:09,398 --> 00:24:10,599 from the burn pit? 599 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,604 Give us a moment. 600 00:24:14,271 --> 00:24:15,303 What you doing here, Jesse? 601 00:24:15,304 --> 00:24:16,437 Still trying to fight? 602 00:24:16,438 --> 00:24:19,607 Talking about how you're the only one doing things, hmm? 603 00:24:19,608 --> 00:24:22,243 No, actually, that's not what I'm here to do. 604 00:24:22,244 --> 00:24:23,412 I came to apologize. 605 00:24:23,413 --> 00:24:24,946 Really? 606 00:24:24,947 --> 00:24:27,014 Sorry I made fun of your Botox-indented forehead 607 00:24:27,015 --> 00:24:27,983 in front of Dusty. 608 00:24:27,984 --> 00:24:30,551 That's not how co-church leaders should act. 609 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,855 Well, I don't have a dented Botox forehead. 610 00:24:33,856 --> 00:24:36,257 I was just... holding my face funny. 611 00:24:36,258 --> 00:24:37,559 Well, you know, even if you do. 612 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:38,960 Well, I don't. 613 00:24:38,961 --> 00:24:41,695 But if you do dye your sideburns, 614 00:24:41,696 --> 00:24:44,226 I'm sorry I said that you look like a deformed Dracula. 615 00:24:44,227 --> 00:24:46,101 Well, I don't dye my sideburns, 616 00:24:46,102 --> 00:24:48,136 but I accept your apology. 617 00:24:48,137 --> 00:24:49,170 Good. 618 00:24:49,171 --> 00:24:50,371 - Great. - OK. 619 00:24:50,372 --> 00:24:52,273 Because I don't have a Botox forehead. 620 00:24:52,274 --> 00:24:53,908 I don't do my... 621 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:54,947 All right. 622 00:24:56,147 --> 00:24:57,611 I'm scared, Jesse. 623 00:24:57,612 --> 00:25:00,381 What if we don't have what it takes? 624 00:25:00,382 --> 00:25:01,950 Yeah, I'm scared too. 625 00:25:01,951 --> 00:25:04,786 The only way through this, I guess, is if... 626 00:25:04,787 --> 00:25:06,455 we just have to rise to the occasion, 627 00:25:06,456 --> 00:25:08,355 refuse to fail. 628 00:25:08,356 --> 00:25:10,224 How we gonna do that? 629 00:25:10,225 --> 00:25:11,727 Together. 630 00:25:14,496 --> 00:25:16,063 Do we have to include Judy? 631 00:25:16,064 --> 00:25:17,933 Even that bitch. 632 00:25:27,779 --> 00:25:29,878 The diva is back, y'all. 633 00:25:29,879 --> 00:25:32,513 Ah, hey, everybody. What's up? What's up? 634 00:25:32,514 --> 00:25:34,148 Hey, Stephen, I'm glad you're here. 635 00:25:34,149 --> 00:25:36,450 Would you be up for going through some guitar solo stuff 636 00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:37,953 on "Angels Lift Me Higher"? 637 00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:38,954 Sure. 638 00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,189 Hey, everybody, listen up. 639 00:25:41,190 --> 00:25:43,925 Stephen and I need to work on some important creative stuff 640 00:25:43,926 --> 00:25:46,827 with guitar solo stuff for one of the songs. 641 00:25:46,828 --> 00:25:49,797 So if everybody could leave us alone, that'd be great. 642 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,367 Y'all get it. 643 00:25:51,368 --> 00:25:52,633 Artistry. 644 00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:55,769 Get a little rest, or get you a Coke or whatever. 645 00:25:55,770 --> 00:25:57,839 See you soon, Tamothy. You did a great job on tour. 646 00:26:02,011 --> 00:26:03,379 Oh, fuck. 647 00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:04,383 I missed this. 648 00:26:06,545 --> 00:26:09,650 Being bad like some bitch in an '80s movie. 649 00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:11,180 So glad I had to come in and unload 650 00:26:11,181 --> 00:26:12,687 the last of that tour gear. 651 00:26:12,688 --> 00:26:14,822 I had to see you. 652 00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:16,958 Well, you saw me, then. 653 00:26:18,427 --> 00:26:20,862 And now it's time to nut up, 654 00:26:20,863 --> 00:26:23,497 because road head is road head. 655 00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,599 That's just the rules of the tour, OK? 656 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,268 We can't be bringing this shit home. 657 00:26:27,269 --> 00:26:31,205 We helped each other through a very trying time in our lives 658 00:26:31,206 --> 00:26:34,209 by dry humping twice and kissing three times. 659 00:26:34,210 --> 00:26:35,643 Now that's four. 660 00:26:35,644 --> 00:26:37,011 But we can't take this any further, 661 00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:39,646 or we would cause some real damage. 662 00:26:40,552 --> 00:26:41,687 So this... 663 00:26:43,922 --> 00:26:45,686 This is goodbye, Stephen. 664 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:48,890 You're just gonna have to suffer through the pain. 665 00:26:48,891 --> 00:26:51,030 Very well, Judy Gemstone. 666 00:27:02,171 --> 00:27:03,171 Quit, Stephen. 667 00:27:09,679 --> 00:27:11,951 I said quit. 668 00:27:12,917 --> 00:27:14,249 You understand me? 669 00:27:19,791 --> 00:27:22,089 - What the fuck is this? - Mm. 670 00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:23,991 And that's how that part of the song goes. 671 00:27:23,992 --> 00:27:26,528 It goes, like, up and then down, and that's that song. 672 00:27:26,529 --> 00:27:27,594 I should go practice. 673 00:27:27,595 --> 00:27:29,731 No, you should keep your fucking ass right here. 674 00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:31,699 You're cheating, Judy? Gross. 675 00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:33,134 No, Kelvin, this ain't what you think. 676 00:27:33,135 --> 00:27:34,302 Oh, it's not? 677 00:27:34,303 --> 00:27:36,405 Do you know this young lady is married? 678 00:27:36,406 --> 00:27:38,306 Yeah. I am too. 679 00:27:38,307 --> 00:27:40,509 Oh, yuck. 680 00:27:40,510 --> 00:27:42,276 Y'all a bunch of dirtbags. 681 00:27:42,277 --> 00:27:44,378 Kelvin, I'm trying to tell you, you fucking dork, 682 00:27:44,379 --> 00:27:45,481 we're rehearsing a song. 683 00:27:45,482 --> 00:27:46,781 This is not a deal. 684 00:27:46,782 --> 00:27:48,016 Great rehearsal, Stephen. 685 00:27:48,017 --> 00:27:48,951 - Very good working with you. - Good day to you. 686 00:27:48,952 --> 00:27:50,252 Thank you for rehearsing. 687 00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:51,419 Enchanté. 688 00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:52,487 Yeah, enchanté, motherfucker. 689 00:27:52,488 --> 00:27:53,587 You can go right now. 690 00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:54,990 You come back around here again, 691 00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:56,324 I'll send your ass straight to hell. 692 00:27:56,325 --> 00:27:57,225 I work here, though. 693 00:27:57,226 --> 00:27:58,960 Not anymore, you don't, bro. 694 00:27:58,961 --> 00:28:00,327 - He works for me. - I work... 695 00:28:00,328 --> 00:28:02,030 As main decider, the motherfucker is fired. 696 00:28:02,031 --> 00:28:03,465 Well, he's rehired. Boo-yup. 697 00:28:03,466 --> 00:28:04,531 Well, guess what. 698 00:28:04,532 --> 00:28:06,968 I'm refiring him for infinity. 699 00:28:06,969 --> 00:28:08,269 Bye-bye, bitch. - You have to. 700 00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:09,904 Two outvotes one. - Get the fuck out of here. 701 00:28:09,905 --> 00:28:10,972 Begone, Stephen. 702 00:28:10,973 --> 00:28:12,601 Sugar Ray-looking motherfucker. 703 00:28:12,602 --> 00:28:13,808 Get the fuck out of here. - Get out of here. 704 00:28:13,809 --> 00:28:15,943 - OK. - You get out. 705 00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:17,646 Don't stomp him, Jesse. 706 00:28:17,647 --> 00:28:19,251 Fuck, he's leaving. 707 00:28:20,552 --> 00:28:22,116 What the fuck, Judy? 708 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:23,150 You think we can handle this kind 709 00:28:23,151 --> 00:28:24,519 of scandalous bullshit right now? 710 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,920 Oh, fuck off, Jesse. 711 00:28:26,921 --> 00:28:29,423 Like you ain't done your fair share of illicit shit. 712 00:28:29,424 --> 00:28:32,226 I was on tour, y'all, OK? 713 00:28:32,227 --> 00:28:34,095 This is the shit that happens on the road. 714 00:28:34,096 --> 00:28:36,197 What the fuck are y'all even here for anyway? 715 00:28:36,198 --> 00:28:38,132 We came here to do something nice, OK? 716 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:40,435 To have a fucking sibling bonding pep talk 717 00:28:40,436 --> 00:28:41,736 about the future. 718 00:28:41,737 --> 00:28:43,038 Instead I come here to see this. 719 00:28:44,674 --> 00:28:45,740 Fine. 720 00:28:45,741 --> 00:28:47,709 Let's fucking pep it up, bros. 721 00:28:47,710 --> 00:28:49,210 Come on. Sibling bonding. 722 00:28:49,211 --> 00:28:51,579 Put your hands in. "New generation" on three. 723 00:28:51,580 --> 00:28:53,209 I'm saying how we do hands. 724 00:28:53,210 --> 00:28:54,382 We're holding hands. 725 00:28:54,383 --> 00:28:55,584 Give me your fucking hands. 726 00:28:55,585 --> 00:28:56,818 - Ugh. - Go on. 727 00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:58,157 Hold her fucking hand. 728 00:29:00,424 --> 00:29:02,156 To the new generation. 729 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:03,558 To united... 730 00:29:05,060 --> 00:29:07,028 OK, Jesse, this is not natural. 731 00:29:07,029 --> 00:29:08,996 We do not hold hands. 732 00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:11,532 When the Simkins hold hands, it seems fucking natural. 733 00:29:11,533 --> 00:29:14,068 Well, we ain't a holding-hands family, OK, dude? 734 00:29:14,069 --> 00:29:16,204 We never have been. - We do hands on hands, OK? 735 00:29:16,205 --> 00:29:18,272 We're not the frickin' Simkins. 736 00:29:18,273 --> 00:29:20,479 You can sure as shit say that again. 737 00:29:25,648 --> 00:29:27,616 Y'all don't tell on me. 738 00:30:28,947 --> 00:30:30,612 Been a while since you've been here. 739 00:30:30,613 --> 00:30:32,280 Damn. Yes, it has. 740 00:30:33,482 --> 00:30:36,851 I'm surprised you want anything to do with this place 741 00:30:36,852 --> 00:30:40,088 after all the bad memories. 742 00:30:40,089 --> 00:30:41,660 It's all I got left. 743 00:30:43,328 --> 00:30:44,893 You know, after Peter went away... 744 00:30:44,894 --> 00:30:46,293 I'm not here to talk about Peter. 745 00:30:46,294 --> 00:30:50,565 After he went away, the bank took the house. 746 00:30:50,566 --> 00:30:54,836 Boys turned mean, bitter. 747 00:30:54,837 --> 00:30:57,072 They scare me, Eli. 748 00:30:57,073 --> 00:30:59,874 I know you haven't spoken to the family in many years. 749 00:30:59,875 --> 00:31:00,975 I had good reason for that. 750 00:31:00,976 --> 00:31:02,309 And I had good reason to do what I done. 751 00:31:02,310 --> 00:31:04,012 - Oh, here we go. - Oh, here we go. 752 00:31:04,013 --> 00:31:05,947 Look at you, Mr. Hotshot Preacher. 753 00:31:05,948 --> 00:31:07,448 You got more piss and vinegar 754 00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:10,422 than you did when you was begging for help. 755 00:31:13,489 --> 00:31:14,660 What's this about? 756 00:31:16,895 --> 00:31:18,292 Peter got out. 757 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:21,062 My boys left me and followed him. 758 00:31:21,063 --> 00:31:22,563 I think they're in trouble. 759 00:31:22,564 --> 00:31:25,299 I don't know if they're selling guns or drugs or what. 760 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,903 You expect me to do something? 761 00:31:27,904 --> 00:31:30,705 I'd die without my boys. 762 00:31:30,706 --> 00:31:31,873 I got no one else. 763 00:31:31,874 --> 00:31:33,512 Please, Eli. 764 00:31:34,940 --> 00:31:37,945 After all this time, why should I help you? 765 00:31:40,051 --> 00:31:42,917 Because you're my big brother, Eli. 766 00:31:49,058 --> 00:31:50,826 Please help us win, God. 767 00:31:50,827 --> 00:31:52,760 Please help everyone accept us and for us 768 00:31:52,761 --> 00:31:56,335 to be triumphant over those that would seek to destroy us. 769 00:32:27,065 --> 00:32:28,664 Do we have confirmed visual? 770 00:32:32,802 --> 00:32:35,170 Visual confirmed. 771 00:32:35,171 --> 00:32:36,938 Take the motherfucker to church. 772 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,560 You drove right into me. 773 00:33:03,561 --> 00:33:05,066 You fucked up my bumper. 774 00:33:05,067 --> 00:33:06,568 Oh, don't even try it. 775 00:33:06,569 --> 00:33:08,235 You were at fault here. 776 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:09,671 Let's see your insurance. 777 00:33:09,672 --> 00:33:11,110 It's behind you. 778 00:33:13,378 --> 00:33:16,144 All: Shut it down! Shut it down! 779 00:33:16,145 --> 00:33:18,746 Shut it down! 780 00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:20,416 All: Shut it down! 781 00:33:31,663 --> 00:33:32,989 Take that. 782 00:33:32,990 --> 00:33:36,064 All: Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down! 783 00:33:36,065 --> 00:33:37,333 Oh! 784 00:33:37,334 --> 00:33:38,833 Help! 785 00:33:38,834 --> 00:33:41,068 Get out of here. Shut it down! 786 00:33:41,069 --> 00:33:43,439 All: Shut it down! Shut it down! 55658

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