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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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In other news,
Tinseltown is coming to Philadelphia.
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Hollywood stars Bryan Cranston
and Aaron Paul are here
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promoting their alcohol brand,
Dos Hombres.
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Hey, Bryan, how does it
feel to be the kingpin of mezcal?
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Oh, no, no. No, no.
Don't-don't put that on me.
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No, I'm just a simple actor.
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This, this is the man,
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- the brains behind the whole operation.
- No.
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- No, no, no.
- Yeah, it is.
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It's a team effort.
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Wow. Hollywood celebrities
right here in Philly, huh?
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-I don't love it. I mean,
-Yeah.
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why can't they stay in their lane?
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Why do they have into
come into our lane?
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The celebrity booze thing's
a little out of control.
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It's a total sellout.
I mean, a complete cash grab.
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Any idiot could take a bottle of booze,
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slap a celebrity's face on it
and-and make a fortune.
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- I mean, we could do it if we wanted.
- Oh, we know more about booze
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- than these two guys, probably.
- Are you kidding me?
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Look, yeah, is there an opportunity
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for us to create a booze
of our own, right?
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And go pitch those guys?
Yeah, of course there is.
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- It would be so easy.
- Yeah. - It would be so easy, you know?
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And could we do something like that?
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- Also, yes. Absolutely.
- Yes. Yes.
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- Of course, we could, you know.
- But I mean,
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are we gonna go do something like that?
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- Yes, we're gonna do that, yeah.
- Of course we are, yes. - I think we should.
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- I think we should.
- It's already happening.
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_
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Okay, guys,
I think we can all agree we need to
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come up with a brand
that is representative
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of who we are as people
and as businessmen.
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Now I ask you guys this:
what's the first word
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that comes to your mind when
you are trying to describe us?
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- Premium.
- Mm, I was gonna say that, dude. - Premium.
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- I was gonna say premium.
- You were gonna say that, too?
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- Yeah.
- And look, hey.
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Listen, man, you're spot-on. Premium.
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Yes, our brand will,
of course, be a premium brand.
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Now, what is the most premium
alcohol ever invented?
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- Goldschläger.
- Goldschläger. Yeah.
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Goldschläger. All right, hey!
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We're all on the same page here.
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- Yeah, we think...
- This is good, I like this. Okay, yeah.
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Swiss cinnamon schnapps liqueur
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with drinkable flakes
of gold floating in it.
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My God, what's more premium than that?
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- Yeah, nothing.
- Nothing, right?
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Here's a pitch.
Okay, I can get a bunch of nickels
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and I could smash them up and
put them into a 'schläger.
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Right? We call it Nickelschläger,
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and we pitch it as, like,
the working man's spirit.
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And, you know, nickels are,
they're easy to find
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and, uh, just as shiny.
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Well, that sounds disgusting, and, uh,
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- potentially dangerous as well.
- Yeah, I'm-a try it, though.
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Listen, I think I've
pinpointed a small market trend
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that we could corner but that could
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also totally represent us.
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I'm talking about a blend.
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A blend?
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- Oh. Blends.
- Yes. Blends, blends.
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- Blends!
- Yes.
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Blends are very popular these days.
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Wine blends, whiskey blends, you know?
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So let me ask you this:
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what is the second-classiest
drink in the world?
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- Jägermeister. Yes.
- Jägermeister. Yeah, yeah. - Jägermeister.
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- Jägermeister, yeah.
- Amazing, yes.
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It's the 'meisters and the,
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and the 'schlägers and the schnapps.
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I mean, those are the drinks
that make people feel high-end,
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you know, like they're on a
European ski adventure, right?
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- Yeah, it's true.
- Yeah.
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Those drinks that make people
feel premium, you know?
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So I say we do a blend of
all the most premium drinks.
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We put them all together,
and we make one drink
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called Paddy's
SchlägerSchnappsterMeister.
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- That's brilliant.
- That's so smart.
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- Well, because it-it blends them
- Dude, that is really smart. It's fun.
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- all together, like you said.
- Who's thought of that?
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- It's a lot of fun, right?
- It's elegant.
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It definitely feels like you're
in Switzerland or something.
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- Yeah, yeah.
- Great, so you guys get it, okay. Great.
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So I-I'm so glad we're on
the same page with this.
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So, here's the thing. All we got to do
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is get those celebrity guys'
blessing and boom...
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we are off to the races,
we're gonna be rich men, but
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I don't think we should approach them
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without being fully funded first.
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So our first test is gonna
be landing a big fish
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who can finance this whole operation.
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And I know just the guy.
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♪ I want money ♪
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♪ Lots and lots. ♪
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- Yo.
- Yo, Frank,
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I got you on speakerphone with,
uh, Mac and Charlie.
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- Where are you right now?
- I'm in the sky.
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- In the sky?
- What?
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That's right, dicknips.
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We're in the sky on a private plane
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- on the way to Aruba.
- What the hell, Frank?
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- Why you taking Dee?
- Um, because
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I'm more glamorous than you guys.
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Frank recognizes that
and so he invited me.
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I was on my way to the jet,
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she overheard me
talking about the flight
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- and she glommed on.
- Yeah, you know what? We don't care.
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Uh, Frank, we have a business
proposition for you, pal.
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Frank, how would you like to invest
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in a celebrity alcohol brand?
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No, I don't know about that.
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I-I once had Greg Louganis
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as the face of my apricot brand
in the '80s.
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But when he cracked his
noggin at the Olympics,
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the business took a nosedive with him.
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Okay, well, we're talking about
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a much bigger celebrity than that, okay?
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We're talking about a
household name here.
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Have you ever hear of
a little show called
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Malcolm in the Middle?
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Have I? Changed the game.
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- Changed the game, Frank.
- That it did. That it did. - Yes. Yes.
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- It did change the game.
- That it did. One of the greatest shows of all time.
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Well, listen,
the dad from that show is in town
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and we're gonna be pitching him tonight.
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And Malcolm. He's here, too,
although he's all grown up now,
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- so you might not recognize him.
- Yeah.
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Dang, that sounds pretty glamorous.
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- I'd like to hang with celebs.
- Shut up, Dee.
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- Shut up, Dee.
- Oh, God, shut up, Dee.
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Shut your mouth or
I will shut it for you!
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When you get back,
Mac's gonna shut it for you!
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We're gonna shut your mouth and
we're gonna sew your lips shut!
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- Just shut up.
- Shut up!
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- Shut up!
- All right, well-well,
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you know, if you can get,
uh, Malcolm and his dad
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on the hook,
bring them to me at the jet.
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When I land, we'll talk shop.
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- Oh, good.
- Nice, dude.
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- Big fish landed!
- All right!
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How are they gonna bring them to Aruba?
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We were never going to Aruba.
We're circling Philly.
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Oh, my God. There's The Linc!
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What the hell, Frank?
Why are we circling Philly?
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I got to put enough miles on the jet
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to make it look like I
went to Aruba and back.
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It's a tax thing.
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Then why don't we just
go to Aruba and back?
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Wouldn't that make more sense?
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I have things to do in Philly.
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But I don't want to
circle Philly for hours.
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Hey, look,
first you nag me to get on the plane,
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now you're nagging me to get off.
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Just... No dice.
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- We're circling Philly.
- Oh, goddamn it.
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♪ I want money,
lots and lots of money... ♪
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It is popping off in there, man.
It is popping off.
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Actually, Charlie,
I would also love for you
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- to pop off that hat.
- No, dude, you said dress nice.
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I want to be able to
tip my cap to these guys
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- when I meet them.
- Yeah, but you look like a limo driver.
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Whatever, dude. I look good, man.
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You guys want to hit some of this,
too, by the way?
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- The hell is that?
- It's Nickelschläger, man.
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It's delicious.
I've been drinking it all day.
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Throw that shit out.
Do not bring that up in the pitch.
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- I'm gonna pitch it.
- Dude, do not... Don't...
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Oh, goddamn it.
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Oh.
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- Over here, sir.
- Okay, you know what? That might have been this.
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Uh, here, I'll give it to you, I guess.
Uh, don't mind me.
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- Anything in your pockets, sir?
- No, no, I'm good.
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I'm good, I sh...
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Uh...
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Guys, why is it going off on my stomach?
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Because you have a
belly full of nickels.
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Oh, right. Shit.
Okay, you know what? Um...
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I'll make myself throw
up and then I'll get...
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Should I throw up here or, uh...
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All right, I'm gonna go outside
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and-and I'll meet you guys back in.
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Great. Good riddance.
He looks ridiculous anyway.
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Yeah, well,
you don't look that much better, pal.
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I mean, what-what,
what is going on with that suit?
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Oh, I'm going for a
"Jordan in the '90s" look.
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I mean,
who's more premium than MJ, right?
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Now, I'm thinking that I
go pitch a fashion line
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and sort of expand
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- into a lifestyle brand.
- No, don't do that.
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Okay? Let's just...
Uh, can we stick with the one thing?
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- Just stick with the one thing, please.
- They're celebrities.
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- They're gonna get the look.
- I know they're celebrities.
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00:07:07,164 --> 00:07:08,601
I'm not saying they're not celebrities.
I'm saying...
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00:07:08,634 --> 00:07:09,869
Do you know who Michael Jordan is?
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- Yes, I know who...
- Then why are you fighting me about this?
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00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,544
Can we just go get
in the meet-and-greet line?
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It's already getting long as shit.
Come on.
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Frank.
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- Frank!
- What?
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00:07:22,589 --> 00:07:23,731
How much longer?
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00:07:23,764 --> 00:07:26,536
- Three hours.
- Oh, my God.
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Can I watch what you're watching?
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00:07:27,939 --> 00:07:29,074
'Cause the Wi-Fi is not strong enough
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00:07:29,108 --> 00:07:30,611
for me to watch anything.
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00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,180
You should have downloaded movies, then.
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I mean,
I also have to go to the bathroom.
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00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:37,725
Well, that's not good.
Bathroom on the plane is busted.
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- W-What?
- Yeah, but you can use the emergency can.
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00:07:40,631 --> 00:07:41,867
Where's the emergency can?
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00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,504
- You're sitting on it.
- What? Wh...
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You just pull that cushion up and,
uh, get that
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00:07:45,541 --> 00:07:47,077
privacy screen over there.
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Is it a number one or a number two?
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00:07:49,665 --> 00:07:50,751
It's a number one.
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00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:52,154
Eh, let 'er rip.
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00:07:52,187 --> 00:07:54,058
It's still gonna go
out in the air anyway.
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00:07:54,091 --> 00:07:56,095
Are you sure you don't
have any food anywhere?
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00:07:56,128 --> 00:07:57,899
Why don't you sniff around back there?
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What's this?
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- What's that?
- There's a can of something.
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00:08:01,005 --> 00:08:02,809
Oh, that's an old can of
oysters from another flight.
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00:08:02,842 --> 00:08:04,979
- A can of oysters?
- Yeah, go ahead, have them.
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Ugh, goddamn it.
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00:08:07,384 --> 00:08:09,188
All right, all right.
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00:08:09,221 --> 00:08:10,223
- Getting pretty close here.
- Okay, now,
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00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:11,660
just go with me here, Dennis.
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I want you to picture it, all right?
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00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:15,568
It's a whole lifestyle ecosystem.
232
00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:16,970
- No...
- With booze and suits
233
00:08:17,004 --> 00:08:19,685
and apps that link you
to personal trainers
234
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,760
who make you look good
in the suits. Premium.
235
00:08:21,795 --> 00:08:22,849
- Dude, this is what I'm saying.
- No, listen, can we please,
236
00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:25,253
please,
please just stick with the blend?
237
00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:27,558
- Stick with the blend.
- This is a blend of ideas.
238
00:08:27,592 --> 00:08:28,994
Yes, but it's a blend of too many ideas.
239
00:08:29,028 --> 00:08:31,232
I don't even know what you're talking
about half the time.
240
00:08:31,265 --> 00:08:32,969
- I'm talking about branding, bro, it's branding.
- I know what you're...
241
00:08:33,002 --> 00:08:35,674
You know what, actually, you just keep
your mouth shut the whole time.
242
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,244
Just keep your mouth shut,
I'll do the talking.
243
00:08:37,277 --> 00:08:39,014
We do the firm handshake, right?
244
00:08:39,048 --> 00:08:40,751
'Cause that's essential
to setting tone for a good pitch.
245
00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:42,588
Got to have a firm handshake.
And then that's it.
246
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,965
I do the talking,
and don't say a goddamn thing
247
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,668
about booze and suits and apps.
248
00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:48,099
- Here we go.
- Oh, okay.
249
00:08:48,132 --> 00:08:49,836
- Thank you.
- Thanks, ladies. - Thank you so much.
250
00:08:49,869 --> 00:08:51,840
- Uh, all right. Come on, guys.
- All right.
251
00:08:51,873 --> 00:08:53,076
- Okay, here we go.
- Hey, there, fellas. - Hey.
252
00:08:53,109 --> 00:08:54,879
Hi, uh, hello to you, kind sirs.
253
00:08:56,464 --> 00:08:56,883
Let's do a...
254
00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:59,154
- Oh, uh...
- No.
255
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:02,260
No, I'm sorry, we-we don't shake hands.
So...
256
00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:04,599
Uh, well,
that kind of throws off my whole thing.
257
00:09:04,632 --> 00:09:06,570
I think... We can't kick this
off without a firm handshake.
258
00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:08,911
- Why don't you just...
- I really don't mind shaking his hand.
259
00:09:08,946 --> 00:09:09,976
How many times do we
have to go through this?
260
00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:11,947
- We're not shaking hands.
- We're not shaking hands.
261
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,049
- We don't know these people.
- Don't know you.
262
00:09:13,082 --> 00:09:14,719
- Sorry.
- Oh.
263
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:15,988
Wow, look at that suit.
264
00:09:16,021 --> 00:09:17,290
- Yeah. Look at that.
- I love that.
265
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,562
I'm not supposed to talk.
266
00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:21,031
- I didn't say... I didn't say...
- I'm not supposed to, either.
267
00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:23,002
Oh... Come on, let's get this going.
268
00:09:23,035 --> 00:09:24,271
- He's-he's kidding. He's kidding.
- Uh, yeah, so-so...
269
00:09:24,304 --> 00:09:26,108
- He's kidding.
- Oh, yes. He, uh, just...
270
00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:28,112
- Yeah, but...
- Come on, everybody say, "Dos Hombres."
271
00:09:28,146 --> 00:09:30,116
- Oh, uh...
- Dos Hombres!
272
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,586
- All right, you can get -Thanks so much.
- Yeah, so, we have a...
273
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:32,922
the photos with the QR code that way.
274
00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:34,291
- There you go.
- No, I don't need a photo.
275
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,761
Actually,
I-I just wanted to pitch you...
276
00:09:35,795 --> 00:09:38,600
- I...
- All right, hey. All right.
277
00:09:38,634 --> 00:09:39,869
What just happened?
278
00:09:39,903 --> 00:09:41,172
You blew it, dude. You choked.
279
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,935
I didn't choke, no. It was... Malcolm.
280
00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:45,146
He was throwing me a weird vibe.
281
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:46,950
- Yeah. He's very aggressive.
- He's super aggressive.
282
00:09:46,983 --> 00:09:48,921
He's, like, he's,
like the alpha dog, dude.
283
00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:50,156
- I didn't like that.
- Malcolm's not in the middle.
284
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,060
- He's on top.
- He's on top.
285
00:09:52,094 --> 00:09:53,864
- Shit.
- You know what, let's-let's get back in the line.
286
00:10:01,045 --> 00:10:03,182
Oh. Hey.
287
00:10:03,216 --> 00:10:04,351
Hey.
288
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:06,723
Hey, buddy.
289
00:10:07,925 --> 00:10:09,294
Hey, can I ask you
something really quick?
290
00:10:09,328 --> 00:10:11,232
- Yeah, sure, man. What's up?
- Uh, hey, listen,
291
00:10:11,265 --> 00:10:12,802
I've been throwing up for a little bit.
292
00:10:12,835 --> 00:10:14,171
Ugh, dude, sorry.
293
00:10:14,204 --> 00:10:15,708
Yeah, I-I actually kind of can't stop.
294
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,344
I think I'm having a
reaction to the metals.
295
00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:18,947
But, uh, my real problem is, like,
296
00:10:18,981 --> 00:10:20,951
no matter how much I hurl,
like, the nickels
297
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:23,189
- keep coming out.
- Nickels?
298
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:25,160
Oh, yeah,
it's a 'schläger play I got going.
299
00:10:25,193 --> 00:10:26,797
So, hey, look, can you do me a favor?
300
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:28,634
On my next hurl, you know, do you...
301
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:31,335
could you see if you see any
loose change in there, you know?
302
00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:33,342
'Cause, like, I-I really got to
get a extra set of eyes on this.
303
00:10:33,376 --> 00:10:35,246
- I can't help you. All right? I-I'm waiting for somebody.
- Please, please.
304
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,683
- Sir, I'm begging you, please.
- It's not happening.
305
00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:39,054
Listen, man, I can't help, all right?
306
00:10:39,087 --> 00:10:40,223
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
307
00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:41,392
What the hell?!
308
00:10:41,425 --> 00:10:43,196
- Damn it!
- Oh! Hey.
309
00:10:43,229 --> 00:10:44,666
- Hey, man, hey, hey.
- Come here.
310
00:10:44,699 --> 00:10:45,868
Come here. Look at this. Look at this.
311
00:10:45,901 --> 00:10:47,337
- Okay. Yes, sir.
- Look at this.
312
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:48,740
They're gonna ding me
for the cleaning fee.
313
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:49,843
- All right?
- Ah, yeah, look at that.
314
00:10:49,876 --> 00:10:51,011
Peace and love, peace and love.
315
00:10:51,045 --> 00:10:52,815
- Damn it!
- I'm sorry! Hey, hey.
316
00:10:52,849 --> 00:10:54,384
- Just say by my car. Stay by my car
- Hey, hey.
317
00:10:54,418 --> 00:10:55,754
- Hey, hey!
- and watch this, I got to figure this out.
318
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:56,790
- Get by the car.
- Okay, okay, okay.
319
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:57,825
I got your car. I'll watch your car.
320
00:10:57,859 --> 00:10:58,961
Yeah.
321
00:10:59,996 --> 00:11:00,998
He was a big boy.
322
00:11:01,031 --> 00:11:02,835
- Jesus.
- Damn it.
323
00:11:04,271 --> 00:11:06,790
Hey, man,
are you the Dos Hombres driver?
324
00:11:07,313 --> 00:11:08,079
Who?
325
00:11:08,112 --> 00:11:09,682
You know,
the Malcolm in the Middle guys.
326
00:11:11,252 --> 00:11:12,387
Yes, I am.
327
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:13,924
Come on, come on.
328
00:11:15,159 --> 00:11:16,730
The dad did like my suit.
329
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,001
Would you shut up about
the dad and the suit?
330
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,403
- Thank you very much.
- What are they doing?
331
00:11:20,436 --> 00:11:21,873
- Oh, great. Okay.
- Damn it.
332
00:11:21,907 --> 00:11:23,009
They're wrapping things up.
333
00:11:23,042 --> 00:11:24,779
That's great. We blew it.
334
00:11:24,812 --> 00:11:27,183
We totally blew our one shot.
Goddamn it.
335
00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:29,321
Hey, I think I just saw Jalen Hurts.
336
00:11:29,354 --> 00:11:30,925
- What? Seriously? Where?
- Yeah.
337
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,760
Dude, he just went into the bathroom.
338
00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:33,830
I'm sure that was him.
339
00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:35,701
Okay, uh, listen.
We're gonna pivot, all right?
340
00:11:35,734 --> 00:11:38,048
I mean, Jalen's a better fit for
our Philly-based brand anyway,
341
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,174
- don't you think?
- Yeah.
342
00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,443
- Let's go talk to Jalen.
- Let's get Jalen.
343
00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:42,147
Come on, let's go.
344
00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:44,664
- Jalen.
- Yeah,
345
00:11:44,699 --> 00:11:46,055
so, hey, listen, uh,
I know this is a little weird,
346
00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:48,292
us bum-rushing you in the
bathroom like this, but, uh...
347
00:11:48,326 --> 00:11:50,263
You always were good against the rush.
348
00:11:50,296 --> 00:11:52,033
Now, that is true.
You are good against the ru...
349
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:54,071
Now, you're not gonna get away from us,
though.
350
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,908
We gotcha.
351
00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:57,177
That was a joke. Um...
352
00:11:59,047 --> 00:12:01,485
Okay, uh, well, listen,
uh, we-we just, uh,
353
00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:02,955
we wanted to pitch you
354
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,193
a-a really great business opportunity.
355
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,997
Yes, now imagine this lifestyle:
356
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,067
you're on a Caribbean island
in an ill-fitting suit.
357
00:12:09,101 --> 00:12:11,907
No, no, st...
no, uh, Jalen, we're not-not here to...
358
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,142
pitch you a lifestyle.
359
00:12:16,081 --> 00:12:18,352
- Gritty?
- Wait...
360
00:12:18,386 --> 00:12:20,023
- What the hell is this?
- Wh... I...
361
00:12:20,056 --> 00:12:21,325
I thought you said Jalen
Hurts came in here.
362
00:12:21,358 --> 00:12:22,929
Is he in one of the other stalls?
363
00:12:22,962 --> 00:12:25,033
I don't know,
I must have gotten them confused.
364
00:12:25,066 --> 00:12:26,201
How do you confuse a young Black man
365
00:12:26,235 --> 00:12:27,805
with a giant orange monster?
366
00:12:27,838 --> 00:12:29,374
Uh...
367
00:12:29,408 --> 00:12:32,047
Okay, Gritty,
picture yourself on a Caribbean island.
368
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,384
Don't pitch Gritty!
We're here to talk to a celebrity.
369
00:12:34,418 --> 00:12:37,090
Gritty's just Gritty.
370
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,163
What... Oh, hey, Jalen!
Jalen! There he is. Jalen!
371
00:12:40,196 --> 00:12:42,334
- Ah, we just missed him.
- What are you talking about?
372
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:44,338
- That was not Jalen Hurts.
- Yes, it was.
373
00:12:44,371 --> 00:12:46,208
Oh, don't take his side, Gritty.
374
00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:48,479
- Well, he's right.
- That was definitely Jalen Hurts.
375
00:12:48,513 --> 00:12:49,949
Uh, you know what, Gritty,
we don't need you anymore.
376
00:12:49,983 --> 00:12:51,352
Why don't you take a hike, pal?
377
00:12:51,385 --> 00:12:52,989
Appreciate it.
378
00:12:54,342 --> 00:12:55,171
Goddamn it.
379
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:57,498
Hold on a second. Oh, it's Charlie.
What... Wait, wait, wait.
380
00:12:57,531 --> 00:12:59,234
- What do you want, man?
- Hey, uh,
381
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:01,372
Dennis, uh,
get to Frank as fast as you can.
382
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,376
I have Malcolm and his dad.
383
00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:05,146
- Are you serious?
- I'll explain later.
384
00:13:05,179 --> 00:13:06,816
Just...
I'll delay them as long as I can.
385
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:07,985
Hey, could you maybe just
386
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:09,121
not be on the-the phone?
387
00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:10,390
- Yeah? Okay.
- Oh, yeah.
388
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,960
Of course, sir. Yeah, I got to go.
389
00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:13,396
- Please? Thank you.
- Uh, sorry about that.
390
00:13:13,429 --> 00:13:14,932
- Very unprofessional.
- Thank you very much.
391
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:16,101
- Uh, apologies.
- Yeah, that's okay.
392
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:18,874
Does it smell funky in here?
393
00:13:18,907 --> 00:13:20,376
Very funky.
394
00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:22,548
- Oh, you guys picking up an aroma?
- Yeah.
395
00:13:22,581 --> 00:13:24,251
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
396
00:13:24,284 --> 00:13:26,164
You... There might be
a funk to it, Mr. Malcolm.
397
00:13:26,199 --> 00:13:27,558
I did vomit in here earlier.
398
00:13:27,591 --> 00:13:30,430
Oh, oh, great. Thank you for that.
399
00:13:30,463 --> 00:13:34,004
Wow. And my name is not Mr. Malcolm,
it's Aaron.
400
00:13:34,037 --> 00:13:35,874
Okay, I got you. Yeah, yeah.
401
00:13:35,908 --> 00:13:37,177
We can go by whatever code name
402
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:38,847
you feel most comfortable with, sir.
403
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,416
You know,
I can't imagine the pressures of being
404
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,320
- a Hollywood celebrity.
- Oh, oh, please, please, please!
405
00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:43,523
- Watch the road, watch the road.
- Oh, yeah! Shit!
406
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,861
- Jesus.
- Pardon my language.
407
00:13:45,894 --> 00:13:47,832
Yeah, sorry about that.
Uh, pardon my driving.
408
00:13:47,865 --> 00:13:49,869
I haven't driven a car
in a long, long time.
409
00:13:49,902 --> 00:13:52,307
I... We really got to start
vetting these drivers.
410
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:54,545
Okay? If we're driving around
in these crappy town cars
411
00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:56,516
with lunatics and now
we're flying coach?
412
00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:57,585
- Counterpoint.
- Coach?
413
00:13:57,618 --> 00:13:59,589
I do like the grit.
414
00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:01,258
- Oh, my God.
- Don't you?
415
00:14:01,291 --> 00:14:03,162
I mean, it's associating
with the common man.
416
00:14:03,195 --> 00:14:04,464
- Talking about me?
- Yes.
417
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:06,335
- Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
418
00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:08,039
- Absolutely.
- When I first stepped onto the boards
419
00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:10,009
in the Great White Way of Broadway...
420
00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:13,182
- Oh, and here we go again about Broadway.
- Was I in the role
421
00:14:13,215 --> 00:14:14,919
- of Richard III? No.
- Were you? No?
422
00:14:14,952 --> 00:14:16,321
- Slipping it in, of course.
- No.
423
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,025
- I was his understudy.
- Okay.
424
00:14:18,059 --> 00:14:19,595
I never really got to be on stage.
425
00:14:19,629 --> 00:14:21,198
- Okay.
- But I was very close.
426
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:23,035
You had to earn it, huh?
427
00:14:23,069 --> 00:14:25,440
- You had to earn it.
- It's all about the work, isn't it?
428
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:26,576
- See? He's working, we're working.
- Yeah, right?
429
00:14:26,609 --> 00:14:28,179
Yeah, we're... We are working.
430
00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:30,617
Now, you can never forget
where you came from.
431
00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:33,022
- Remember how you got here? Remember, huh?
- Yes.
432
00:14:33,055 --> 00:14:36,061
This clown lost all of
his money playing slots
433
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:38,600
- at Pechanga. Yeah.
- It... I-I...
434
00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:40,637
No, you have a problem.
You know you have a problem.
435
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,942
The first step:
admitting you have a problem.
436
00:14:42,975 --> 00:14:46,115
I admit I am a servant
to the gods of chance.
437
00:14:46,148 --> 00:14:47,450
I pray at their altar.
438
00:14:47,484 --> 00:14:48,954
- Yeah, way too much.
- Come on, baby.
439
00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:49,989
- Way too much.
- Yeah, come on, baby!
440
00:14:51,186 --> 00:14:52,026
Let 'er roll!
441
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,897
- Let 'er rip!
- No, this guy was a week away
442
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:56,101
from sucking off tourists, okay?
443
00:14:56,135 --> 00:14:58,907
- Oh, my God.
- To pay his rent, and you know that.
444
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,476
Fellas, you're not gonna have
to suck anyone off.
445
00:15:00,511 --> 00:15:02,948
I'm taking you guys straight
to a private plane today.
446
00:15:02,982 --> 00:15:05,124
- Hmm?
- Oh, great. Finally. See? See?
447
00:15:05,159 --> 00:15:06,523
There you go. Aren't you happy?
448
00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:08,058
- Doesn't that feel nice?
- I'm very happy. Yes.
449
00:15:08,092 --> 00:15:09,662
Finally. Okay.
450
00:15:09,695 --> 00:15:11,966
Sorry, I happen to be getting
another-another call here.
451
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,402
- I got to take it. Hello, this is the driver.
- Oh, my...
452
00:15:13,436 --> 00:15:16,241
Hey, Charlie!
You said to call when we landed.
453
00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:18,245
What? We landed?
454
00:15:18,279 --> 00:15:21,218
We landed 20 minutes ago.
I'm just gassing up.
455
00:15:21,251 --> 00:15:23,155
Oh, goddamn it,
why didn't you tell me that?
456
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,226
I wouldn't have eaten
the disgusting oysters.
457
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:26,529
- Ugh.
- You ate those oysters?
458
00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:28,132
What? You told me to.
459
00:15:28,165 --> 00:15:30,336
That can is from a
shellfish company I started
460
00:15:30,369 --> 00:15:31,973
with Tony Danza back in the '80s.
461
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:34,111
Tony's Oysters in a Can-za?
462
00:15:34,144 --> 00:15:36,081
- It was a catchy name. Didn't go anywhere.
- Goddamn you.
463
00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:37,651
Gross. I am out of here.
464
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,221
Frank?
465
00:15:39,254 --> 00:15:41,010
- Charlie.
- Uh, this is Mr. Frank.
466
00:15:41,045 --> 00:15:42,092
He's the owner of the plane.
467
00:15:42,127 --> 00:15:43,295
- Oh, perfect.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
468
00:15:43,329 --> 00:15:45,501
Uh, yes, Mr. Frank?
I have the father and son.
469
00:15:45,534 --> 00:15:48,540
You got them, Charlie?
Bring them over right away.
470
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,248
All right. Ha, ha!
471
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,715
Charlie got Malcolm and his dad.
472
00:15:52,748 --> 00:15:54,384
Oh, shit. Are you serious?
473
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,421
- Oh, I'm staying.
- What are you talking about?
474
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,392
You've been complaining
about getting off the plane.
475
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,096
Now all of a sudden you're staying?
476
00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:02,089
All right. Hey, guys. Come on.
477
00:16:02,124 --> 00:16:03,169
Let's go. Out of the cabin.
478
00:16:03,202 --> 00:16:04,572
What-what... I'm not leaving my plane.
479
00:16:04,605 --> 00:16:06,408
Oh, no, we've had this whole situation
480
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:09,088
where Jalen Hurts felt trapped
and he just freaked out
481
00:16:09,123 --> 00:16:10,283
- and ran away.
- It was not Jalen Hurts, okay?
482
00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:11,686
- It was literally just some Black guy.
- I... It was definitely
483
00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:13,289
-Jalen Hurts. Either way,
-It was not Jalen Hurts.
484
00:16:13,322 --> 00:16:14,659
- let's just go. Let's go.
- Let's go. Come on.
485
00:16:14,692 --> 00:16:16,244
- Up, up, up.
- Ugh, all right, all right.
486
00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:24,210
Now, this is how to travel.
487
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:25,614
Yeah.
488
00:16:25,647 --> 00:16:28,452
Yeah, but I always wonder
at whose expense.
489
00:16:28,874 --> 00:16:30,423
You know, when I was making my way
490
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,360
on the Great White Way of Broadway...
491
00:16:32,393 --> 00:16:34,231
- Oh, my God. Jesus... Hey.
- It was hard.
492
00:16:34,264 --> 00:16:35,767
You know, I-I have an idea.
493
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:37,671
Why don't you just shut
your eyes and go to sleep?
494
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:41,011
And then I will let you
know when you can wake up.
495
00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:43,015
- Okay? Shh.
- Okay. Thank you.
496
00:16:43,048 --> 00:16:44,685
Okay.
497
00:16:44,719 --> 00:16:46,556
- Oh, but sleep's for pussies.
- Geez.
498
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,027
Let's party, am I right?
Hey, guys, I'm Dee.
499
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,797
Jesus, where'd you come from?
500
00:16:50,831 --> 00:16:52,735
I didn't know we were sharing the plane.
501
00:16:52,768 --> 00:16:54,772
- Yeah, I...
- Ah!
502
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,676
Hi, I'm Frank, the owner.
503
00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:58,547
And you don't have to share the plane.
504
00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:02,120
This plane,
this pretty little bird can be yours
505
00:17:02,153 --> 00:17:04,792
for a mere price of $35 mil.
506
00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:06,395
Sorry, actually, um...
507
00:17:06,428 --> 00:17:08,299
- It's a beautiful bird.
- Hey, guys, don't worry.
508
00:17:08,332 --> 00:17:09,669
We're not-not here to sell you a plane.
Frank, please, don't.
509
00:17:09,702 --> 00:17:11,639
Yeah, we want to...
We-we'd sell the plane
510
00:17:11,673 --> 00:17:13,442
- We would, but that's not the point.
- if you would go for it,
511
00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:15,146
- you'd buy it.
- Just... We're not selling the plane.
512
00:17:15,179 --> 00:17:16,315
- Okay, we're here to sell you, um...
- A lifestyle
513
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:18,052
- No, no.
- and ill-fitting suits.
514
00:17:18,085 --> 00:17:19,589
No, no, no, uh, that-that's also wrong.
515
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:21,124
- We're not selling any of that, okay?
- Okay.
516
00:17:21,158 --> 00:17:22,393
No, no, no. Let's-let's... No.
517
00:17:22,427 --> 00:17:23,563
We're here to sell you a, uh...
518
00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:25,166
Nickelschläger!
519
00:17:25,199 --> 00:17:26,669
No, goddamn it! None of that.
520
00:17:26,703 --> 00:17:28,272
None of that.
Okay, listen-listen to me. Listen.
521
00:17:28,305 --> 00:17:29,307
- Look, we're just... Listen.
- He's the driver.
522
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:30,844
Let's just start over, okay?
523
00:17:30,877 --> 00:17:32,748
We're gonna start all over,
and we're gonna do it
524
00:17:32,781 --> 00:17:34,619
with a firm handshake.
525
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,558
Oh. I'm not supposed to.
526
00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:39,060
- Oh, come on, man.
- I think you're in
527
00:17:39,094 --> 00:17:40,429
an abusive relationship.
528
00:17:40,463 --> 00:17:43,335
Okay! This is absolutely insane.
529
00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:44,839
Put your hand down, Bryan.
530
00:17:44,872 --> 00:17:47,176
But I don't mind shaking his hand,
really, I don't...
531
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:49,406
No, put it down, you silly little bitch.
532
00:17:49,441 --> 00:17:50,449
Put it down.
533
00:17:50,474 --> 00:17:52,153
- Put it down.
- No.
534
00:17:52,186 --> 00:17:53,523
Don't you touch him.
535
00:17:53,556 --> 00:17:55,661
I said no.
536
00:17:55,694 --> 00:17:58,265
What? Oh, my God.
537
00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:00,235
What is happening?
538
00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:03,292
Sit down.
539
00:18:03,327 --> 00:18:04,477
Please, just sit down.
540
00:18:05,346 --> 00:18:07,250
- You want us to sit down?
- Sit down, please,
541
00:18:07,283 --> 00:18:09,287
- all of you.
- We-we will sit down.
542
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:10,590
Yeah, why don't we all sit down?
543
00:18:10,624 --> 00:18:13,763
I don't ask for a lot.
544
00:18:13,797 --> 00:18:16,368
An Emmy here, a Tony there.
545
00:18:16,401 --> 00:18:19,341
Little pocket change for the
one-armed succubus in Reno.
546
00:18:19,374 --> 00:18:20,544
But you.
547
00:18:21,913 --> 00:18:24,585
You, you're...
It's never enough for you.
548
00:18:24,619 --> 00:18:26,388
You want it all.
549
00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:28,459
And you deceived me into thinking
550
00:18:28,493 --> 00:18:31,618
that-that I wanted it all,
too, and I don't.
551
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:34,237
And you took charge of
our little operation,
552
00:18:34,270 --> 00:18:36,174
and ever since then,
553
00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:40,116
you've been...
you've been controlling my life.
554
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,126
You control everything.
555
00:18:47,564 --> 00:18:48,733
Or do you?
556
00:18:51,539 --> 00:18:53,576
Maybe...
557
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,976
you are the one being deceived.
558
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:59,622
Maybe being the front man
559
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:02,260
of an alcohol business
560
00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:05,567
places your head so
far out in front of you
561
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,372
that you don't even realize
562
00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:10,877
that your neck is exposed.
563
00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:13,950
Enough to be lopped off
564
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:15,721
by a public
565
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,958
so thirsty to taste the blood
566
00:19:17,992 --> 00:19:20,497
of greedy celebrities.
567
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,672
So, when they come...
568
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,176
and they will...
569
00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:29,515
who are they gonna come after, huh?
570
00:19:29,548 --> 00:19:32,420
The sweet, hapless boob...
571
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:36,529
...or the slick-talking,
scheming millennial?
572
00:19:39,902 --> 00:19:42,674
So, I ask you...
573
00:19:43,643 --> 00:19:45,547
...bitch...
574
00:19:47,985 --> 00:19:50,489
...who is really in charge here?
575
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:56,903
Boom.
576
00:19:56,936 --> 00:19:59,875
And that, my friends,
577
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:01,478
is acting.
578
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:03,649
What? Wow!
579
00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:05,754
- What?!
- Wait, wait.
580
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,490
- That was...
- That-that was all fake?
581
00:20:07,524 --> 00:20:09,327
Made it all up. Fake, fake, fake, fake.
582
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:10,797
No offense, anything I said.
583
00:20:10,831 --> 00:20:11,833
- Oh, no, you're welcome...
- I was just joking.
584
00:20:11,866 --> 00:20:13,402
But I do love to perform.
585
00:20:13,435 --> 00:20:15,372
- I do, it's in my blood.
- You got the stuff.
586
00:20:15,406 --> 00:20:17,711
Uh, you should consider
doing a drama, Mr. Middle.
587
00:20:17,745 --> 00:20:19,414
- You really should consider doing drama.
- Yeah.
588
00:20:19,447 --> 00:20:20,851
- That's a good idea.
- I think you got the goods, man.
589
00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:22,522
Hey, so listen,
do you guys want to invest?
590
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,759
- Boss?
- Fuck no.
591
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:27,463
- Fuck no! No.
- Fuck no!
592
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,666
Of course not. I don't want to spend
593
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,302
another moment with you crazies.
594
00:20:30,336 --> 00:20:31,572
- Not another minute.
- You people are insane.
595
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,643
Get me off this plane.
596
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:18,766
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.MY-SUBS.com
46669
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