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1
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:12,095
{\an8}Everything here
is made out of garbage.
2
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:15,473
{\an8}Upcycling is at the very core
of the modern maker movement.
3
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,267
{\an8}It's very responsible.
4
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,602
{\an8}Like these doggie chew toys
made out of...
5
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,438
{\an8}used retainers?
6
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,356
{\an8}Ugh! Too responsible!
7
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,610
{\an8}Hey, guys.
You're craft fair fans, too?
8
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:30,321
{\an8}Ew, no. We're doing
a photo scavenger hunt
9
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,032
{\an8}for Francine's birthday party.
10
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,117
{\an8}We need a picture
of something sad.
11
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,327
{\an8}I wonder why I wasn't invited.
12
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:40,206
{\an8}'Cause you're a party narc
who ruins everybody's fun.
13
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:43,001
{\an8}What?
When have I ever done that?
14
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,754
{\an8}You once deflated a bouncy house
'cause you smelled mildew.
15
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,963
{\an8}You shut down a pool party
16
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,673
{\an8}'cause the diving board
wasn't code.
17
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,008
{\an8}You stopped a barbecue
18
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,260
{\an8}because the fire extinguishers
were expired.
19
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,054
{\an8}Okay, okay, I get it.
20
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,181
{\an8}Basically, you're a wet blanket.
21
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,099
{\an8}That's not true,
she's more like a blanket
22
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,894
{\an8}that tattles and kills all joy.
23
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,520
{\an8}Ooh, that's sad.
24
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:08,526
{\an8}Oh, what a beautiful little box.
25
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:09,861
{\an8}I'll take this.
26
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,529
{\an8}You'll need this polish.
27
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,740
{\an8}It's my blend
of secret ingredients,
28
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,410
{\an8}including carnauba wax.
That-that one's not a secret.
29
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,037
{\an8}Okay, I'll take both.
30
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,497
{\an8}I have to explain to the box
31
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,207
{\an8}that it's going
to live with you now.
32
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,084
{\an8}Okay, baby, you're gonna go...
33
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,419
{\an8}Are you
seeing this?
34
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,421
{\an8}Are you seeing that?
35
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,257
{\an8} Man bun.
36
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,760
{\an8}Pathetic old dude
thinks death won't find him
37
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,804
{\an8}if he has a freaky hair lump.
38
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,640
Stupid bun.
39
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,477
Homer, Marge!
40
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,271
You finally get
to meet my special lady.
41
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,065
This is Blythe.
42
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,901
Special lady? Since when?
43
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:53,655
Oh. Oh, it's been
almost six months.
44
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,532
And we're just
hearing about it now?
45
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,827
What do you mean?
I left you tons of messages.
46
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,745
I thought those were
all butt-dials.
47
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,832
Homer, I've met someone...
48
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,542
I'm in lo...
49
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,585
Blythe and I
are getting seri...
50
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:12,382
I fell out of the senior van
and I'm lost...
51
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,883
How did you two meet?
52
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:16,386
I was hired by
the Retirement Castle
53
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:20,890
to cleanse auras with
a therapeutic sound bath.
54
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,767
But I don't want inner peace.
55
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,941
But when she started
gongin' her gongs,
56
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:34,279
it felt like I stuck my tongue
in love's power outlet.
57
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,615
Oh, wow.
58
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,285
As Abe vibrated past,
59
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,997
there was something inside him
that called to me.
60
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,083
It was the bullet I fired
into my foot during the war
61
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,918
to get out of KP duty.
62
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,429
We're not wasting
any more time.
63
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,389
I'm moving in with her.
64
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,559
I finally found true love.
65
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,978
And I finally won't have to pay
66
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,398
for your retirement home.
67
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,320
You have so many chimes.
68
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,614
You're not going
to miss any wind.
69
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,866
Ooh, this is my son Calvin.
70
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,118
Felicitous greetings
on this day to you.
71
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,037
That's how this one guy talked
in Star Trek
72
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,538
when they went
to a Shakespeare planet.
73
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,165
It's how I'm saying hello
these days.
74
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,709
Oh, uh, hello-eth to you.
75
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,711
What a charmer.
76
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,130
- How old is Calvin?
- 11.
77
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,174
Hmm, so you had him
when you were...
78
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,635
Oh, he's adopted.
79
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,847
Cute kid, but, man,
my dad's gonna eat him alive.
80
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,435
Hey, there's my guy.
81
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,561
Wha?
82
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,647
Uppies!
83
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,361
He never gave me uppies.
84
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:04,452
Abe and Calvin
love to cook for company.
85
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,371
Final looks on
the plating, chef.
86
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,332
That one needs a sweep
of balsamic, chef.
87
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,876
Nobody's refilled
my water glass.
88
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,587
This restaurant
would get zero Michelin tires.
89
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,173
Tonight we've made for you
a roasted chicken
90
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,800
with apricot and fennel.
91
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,219
- Mmm.
- How are we enjoying
the first bites?
92
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,887
Hmm...
93
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,765
Well, I'm not
getting fennel at all.
94
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,225
So that's a fail.
95
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,685
Don't be rude.
96
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,270
Shelf rat!
97
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,648
Well, they're both rodents,
but this little dude
98
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:37,068
is a Sciuridae, or squirrel,
if you prefer.
99
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,654
I'd prefer that it not
stare into my soul
100
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,114
like it knows my sins.
101
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,909
Calvin does taxidermy.
That's one of his pieces.
102
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:49,289
He's a rising star in the field.
He takes classes with adults.
103
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,082
You can't even see
the tire tracks
104
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,917
on this guy anymore.
105
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:55,128
Uhp, time for your
glocky-drops, Abe.
106
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:59,424
Aw, that stuff makes me blinder
than an umpire in a mineshaft.
107
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:03,386
You know the drill, commodore.
Head back, eyes open.
108
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:06,723
Rain, rain.
109
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,725
Windshield wipers!
110
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,439
Here you go, sweetie.
111
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:18,735
We made that chestnut stuffing
I know you love.
112
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:22,155
Abe, you're feeding
the thermostat again.
113
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,866
D'oh! Damn glocky-drops!
114
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,662
Yo, our grandfather
Abe Simpson moved out,
115
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,998
but left his...
denture cup.
116
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,458
Do you have a lost and found?
117
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,959
Please say you don't have
a lost and found.
118
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:36,586
Oh, Abe's moved out?
119
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,963
Well, his room is paid up
for the next two weeks.
120
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:41,341
Uh, actually, I misspoke.
121
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:45,553
Um, Abe is still using the room.
Using it like crazy.
122
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,599
We own this place
for two whole weeks.
123
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,768
- Hmm.
- We can take a shower
in a chair,
124
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,062
- flush the toilet
a million times...
- Interesting.
125
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,482
Oh, you're gonna tell Mom and
Dad about this, aren't you?
126
00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:01,444
Nope, this is one whistle
I'm not gonna blow.
127
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:05,865
Instead,
what if we used this room
128
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:09,077
to throw the greatest
slumber party ever?
129
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,287
No rules, no limits,
130
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:14,999
and, dare I say it,
no slumbering.
131
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,751
Tell me more.
132
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,048
Also, that kid
is not that good of a cook.
133
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,758
There's such a thing
as chicken being
134
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,718
too tender and juicy, you know?
135
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,347
Our wood is really loving
this carnauba stuff.
136
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,475
And what kind of kid
does taxidermy?
137
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,060
Dead animals are meant to be
138
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,187
poked with a stick,
end of story.
139
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:39,482
Homer, you've been complaining
about Calvin for three days.
140
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,026
Why are you
so obsessed with him?
141
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,404
What? I don't
think about him at all.
142
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,740
But did you notice
how he asked to be excused?
143
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,034
That speaks to
a guilty conscience.
144
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,202
And another thing.
145
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,079
Why is my tongue swelling up?
146
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,206
What is this rash?
147
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,208
Oh, my gosh.
148
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,920
You must be having an allergic
reaction to the carnauba wax.
149
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,214
Well, stop using it!
150
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:06,676
I-I've rubbed it
into the floors, the windows.
151
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,804
Every wood surface in the house
has been carnauba'd!
152
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,931
It'll take weeks to dissipate!
153
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,100
But where do I go to breathe?
154
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,813
Yay, you're here.
155
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,107
I was putting up
glow-in-the-dark stars.
156
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,775
I'll let you
distribute the other half,
157
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,111
since you're
kind of like my brother now.
158
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,947
Brother?
I'm a grown man.
159
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:31,075
Half?
This is barely a third. No fair!
160
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,118
Dad!
161
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:40,251
Okay, Harry Potter
chapter read, pillow fluffed...
162
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:43,129
Scary German puppet
turned to face the wall.
163
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,589
Uh-huh.
164
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:48,134
And now, a good-night kiss.
165
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,719
Mmm...
166
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,137
Watch your feet!
167
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,725
Night, Calvin.
168
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,812
Psst. Homer.
Want to play 20 questions?
169
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:03,483
Okay.
Question number one: Shut up.
170
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,318
You're funny.
171
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,986
We should go out
on our bikes tomorrow.
172
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:10,156
I know this place by the nuclear
plant that has the best jumps.
173
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,824
Oh, wait.
Did you bring your bike?
174
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,202
I don't have a bike,
I have a car.
175
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,329
And I don't play
at the nuclear plant,
176
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:20,833
I work there
because I am a grown-up.
177
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,877
Abe says I'm mature for my age.
178
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,462
When we check in
at a restaurant,
179
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,838
he gives the host my name,
180
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,174
so I'm practically
a grown-up, too.
181
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,301
No, you're not.
You're a pants-wetting baby.
182
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,054
That is patently untrue.
183
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,931
I have
excellent bladder control.
184
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,767
If anything,
I hold it in too long.
185
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,018
Pants-wetting baby!
186
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,437
Stop lying!
187
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,190
You threw that zipper-first!
188
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:49,153
My orrery!
Eat gas giants!
189
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:52,198
I'll give you a gas giant!
190
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:56,661
Stop squirming
and let me fart...
191
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,955
- No!
- ...on your head!
192
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,082
Never!
193
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,333
Ow!
194
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:06,254
I welcomed you into my home,
195
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,924
my room,
where I keep my artifacts.
196
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,636
But you, sir, are a butt brain!
197
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:17,056
From here on out, it's war.
198
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,846
Thank you, Mother.
Pickup is noon tomorrow.
199
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,682
Don't be early.
Bye, now.
200
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,312
Drive away. Don't look back.
201
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,279
Welcome to our pop-up sleepover.
202
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,615
Do you have the "birthday gift"?
203
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,409
One $25 gift card.
204
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:25,291
Take off your shoes,
we have unlimited bed-jumping.
205
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,046
I've never felt so alive!
206
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:34,133
We got PG-13 movies,
rated "M" videogames.
207
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,760
What if Mother calls?
208
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,430
We got Milhouse in the closet
standing by. Guy's a pro.
209
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,058
Oh, hello, Wendell's mom.
210
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:45,144
Yes, I will remind him
to wear his night guard,
211
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:48,356
because I am another parent.
Love you.
212
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:54,779
Lis, take a moment.
We did this. You did this.
213
00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:59,325
♪ ♪
214
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,915
I am Lisa, bringer of fun.
215
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,668
Driest of blankets.
216
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,047
Must you hit every bump?
217
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,091
Oh!
218
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,384
Oops.
219
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,803
I make a million dollars a year.
Did you know that?
220
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,638
- No, you don't.
- Oh, yeah?
221
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,807
Then why do
I have a ton of DVDs?
222
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,684
What's a DVD?
223
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,229
Ugh, your car smells like
fried chicken.
224
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,940
No, I smell like fried chicken.
225
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,943
Can you breathe
through your mouth?
226
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,028
Your nose is squeaky.
227
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,076
Yeah?
228
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,975
Wow, Calvin, what a great start.
229
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:09,437
But how would a pelican have
access to a freshwater fish?
230
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,648
Well, that's the joke!
231
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:17,862
Oh, so funny to murder
innocent water birds.
232
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,990
Uh, it died
of natural causes, ding-dong.
233
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,117
I have a network
of park ranger friends
234
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,827
who save dead animals for me.
235
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:28,581
So you're not a psychopath,
just a weirdo. Got it.
236
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,083
It's always sad
when an animal dies,
237
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:35,045
but this pelican gets to
speak to the world as art.
238
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,298
I was inspired to make this
239
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,884
after Abe told me about
his time in the war.
240
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:43,596
His stories are so cool,
but disturbing.
241
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,014
I will not sit here
242
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,267
and have you call
my father's stories cool!
243
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,269
They're meandering and endless.
244
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:53,856
I'm going to Moe's,
where people know what's boring.
245
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,984
And it's not just taxidermy,
246
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,570
Calvin's got
a million creepy hobbies.
247
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,114
And my dad
thinks they're all great.
248
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:05,993
When I was his age, I was
cleaning pool covers from below.
249
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:09,580
Yeah, going house to house
with my scrub brush and Speedo.
250
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,583
I stuck googly eyes on shells
and sold them at the beach.
251
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,794
Till my dad
told me to knock it off
252
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,921
because people would think
I was a freak.
253
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,882
Yeah, my pop also
told me to lay low.
254
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,801
Literally.
We were gravediggers.
255
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,428
We took turns
sleeping in open graves.
256
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,388
Heh. Nothin' builds character
257
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,809
like waking up to a coffin
being lowered on top of youse.
258
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,811
To unprocessed trauma.
259
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,816
- Hi, Lisa!
- She waved to us!
260
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,235
Our sleepover is a hit.
261
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,945
We have the room
for one more weekend.
262
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,489
We're gonna be
gift card thousand-aires.
263
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,325
No, Bart, we have
to reinvest in our next party.
264
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,827
We have to top ourselves.
265
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,330
I'm thinking face painters,
walk-around SpongeBob,
266
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,958
one of those pools
you can surf in.
267
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,670
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you chain-sucking lollypops?
268
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,338
Just need a little something
269
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,257
'cause I didn't sleep much
last night.
270
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,717
I was pricing
mashed potato stations.
271
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:07,805
Lisa, in the non-weekend world,
you have to have a bedtime.
272
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,182
I don't want to live in
the non-weekend world.
273
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,560
We've only got one more chance
274
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,855
to scrawl our names
across the slumber party sky.
275
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,982
I'll sleep when I'm nine.
276
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,450
Hmm? Hmm.
277
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,994
Look at me, I'm Calvin.
278
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,538
I'm little but I use big words.
279
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,457
Son, I know it's hard
sharing a room
280
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:39,211
with someone so,
uh, different than you.
281
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,590
But you've handled it
with grace and maturity.
282
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,093
Anyway, I just wanted to say
283
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:49,305
I'm so proud of you... Calvin.
284
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,974
Ooh, aah, dah!
285
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:56,186
I can't see a thing with
these glaucoma drops.
286
00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:57,521
He thinks I'm Calvin.
287
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,481
Look at how he looks at him.
288
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,567
He never looked at me that way.
289
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,194
Are you okay, kid?
You seem kind of quiet.
290
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,614
It's just...
I've never heard you say
291
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:11,076
you were proud of me.
Ever. In my entire life.
292
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,912
What are you talking about?
293
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,873
I say that to you
all the time, Calvin.
294
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:18,584
Oh.
295
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,044
I forgot.
296
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,430
Homer, you villain!
Do not harm that birdhouse.
297
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,599
The nuthatches
did nothing to you!
298
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,936
What's wrong with you?
299
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,272
My dad kisses the butt
you walk on.
300
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,524
I'd get it
if you were great at sports,
301
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,611
or fixing cars,
or demolishing buildings,
302
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,030
but you're just
a weird little kid.
303
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,491
And my dad
hates weird little kids.
304
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:53,410
At least... he sure hated me.
305
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:56,622
Homer, Abe doesn't hate you.
306
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,123
Oh, yeah? I'll show you.
307
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,668
We got ten minutes
until his eyedrops wear off.
308
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,878
You be me.
309
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,924
Dad, do you have a second?
310
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:10,219
Dang it, Homer. Do you think
I'm made of seconds?
311
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,264
I was in the middle of a very
important word find puzzle.
312
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,518
I was about to find the longest
diagonal of my career.
313
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,644
Now what do you want?!
314
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,312
Um, I-I...
315
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,940
You, you, you nothing!
316
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,319
Wow, that was harsh.
317
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,989
Do you ever tell him
how he makes you feel?
318
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,075
Kinda. I stuck him in the worst
nursing home I could find.
319
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,994
Figured he'd
read between the lines.
320
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,455
I think you need to find a new
way to express your feelings.
321
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:41,208
It might need to be more
than just words.
322
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:45,879
But my way with words be my
best moutha-ma-callits. Aw.
323
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,674
You'll figure out a way
to get through to your dad.
324
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,218
You just need to put on
your thinking cap.
325
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,685
Where have you been?
326
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,145
I had to get Band-Aids.
327
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,313
Lewis got stabbed
with a juice box straw.
328
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:06,692
Somebody fed the pony Pop Rocks
and he kicked out the TV.
329
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,402
His poop is popping!
330
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,616
The climbing wall collapsed
onto the Reptile Rodeo.
331
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,994
There's loose tails everywhere.
332
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:21,165
I tried to throw a party,
but the party threw me.
333
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,000
I'm putting a stop to this.
334
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,376
Are you sure?
335
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,045
You know
what that will make you.
336
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:29,715
Hello? Yes,
I'd like to blow the whistle
337
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:33,385
on an out-of-control party
at The Retirement Castle.
338
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:38,223
Oh, my name?
It's Lisa Simpson, party narc.
339
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:42,394
Well, the party's shut down,
kids are packing up their stuff.
340
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,897
Great.
I'm sure they all hate me.
341
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,857
Yeah, probably.
342
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:50,360
I gotta dump the churro sugar
out of my shoes.
343
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,490
They've arrested Lisa!
344
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:58,368
She's paying the ultimate price
for throwing the ultimate party.
345
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,162
You're our hero, Lisa!
346
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,084
If you drive me home
with the siren on,
347
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,045
we've got a freezer
full of Snickers.
348
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,089
Go, Lisa!
349
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,841
- Lisa, you're the best!
- You got this, Lisa!
350
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,635
Call your lawyer!
351
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:23,477
There's some really
inspiring work here tonight.
352
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:28,190
{\an8}Yours is a blistering indictment
of American consumerism.
353
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,192
I love how the middle joey
354
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,902
is looking in
the opposite direction,
355
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,696
as if imagining
a different future.
356
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,449
Glad you got that.
I worried it was too subtle.
357
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,910
Oh, it hit me
like a ton of bricks.
358
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:46,792
Now, let's announce
tonight's winners.
359
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,295
Hold on, there's one more entry!
360
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:54,091
A strange man with an object
hidden under a pillowcase?
361
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,386
Come on up!
I want to see this.
362
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,223
I was told to find
a new way to communicate.
363
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:05,102
My stepbrother Calvin expresses
his feelings through taxidermy,
364
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,981
so I decided
I would do the same.
365
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,775
That's not taxidermy, you idjit!
366
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,487
But it's very deep. And... sad.
367
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,324
The small shell pleading with
its eyes to the larger one.
368
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:23,620
It is clearly about a son's need
for his father's approval.
369
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:27,249
What? It's just two smelly
shells glued on a board.
370
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:32,004
Abe, look at it.
Really look at it.
371
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,338
Hmm.
372
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:46,351
What these shells are
saying, is that how you feel?
373
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,396
You seem to love
being a dad to Calvin,
374
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:54,151
but you hated
being a dad to me.
375
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:58,739
No, son, no.
See, when you were a kid,
376
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:02,492
being a dad felt like
the end of my youth.
377
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,620
But now with Calvin,
378
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,873
it's my last chance
to feel young.
379
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:12,544
Oh, so what you're saying is
no matter how old you are,
380
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:16,548
it's only ever been about
what you need.
381
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,343
You finally get me.
382
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,012
It wasn't because
I was a bad kid.
383
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:25,390
You're just horribly flawed.
384
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,559
I am!
385
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,689
Another family
saved by taxidermy.
386
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,441
All right, let's wrap things up.
387
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,818
We have 20 minutes
before this room is taken over
388
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:39,112
by the Massage Table Expo.
389
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,781
{\an8}Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
390
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,449
{\an8}and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
391
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:44,117
{\an8}and TOYOTA.
392
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,161
{\an8}Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
393
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:53,126
{\an8}So, Blythe dumped me for a guy
394
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,379
{\an8}she says is a better
spiritual match for her.
395
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,257
{\an8}Also, he's super rich
and can eat corn.
396
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,634
{\an8}He's taking Calvin to Africa
to study animals
397
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,594
{\an8}in their natural habitat.
398
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,180
{\an8}I'll miss that little scamp,
but you know,
399
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:08,600
{\an8}I'm glad you and I
are finally communicating.
400
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,145
{\an8}I love you, son.
Anyway, call me back.
401
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:14,898
Your dad left you
another message.
402
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:17,317
{\an8}Eh, it's probably
just a butt-dial.
403
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,373
Shh!
30194
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