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1
00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:17,583
Mmm, gravy.
2
00:00:24,375 --> 00:00:27,333
{\an8}Sorry, dear, I burnt the roast.
3
00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:30,000
Again?
4
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,542
Relax, Judy. Let Duffman help.
5
00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:37,625
Ah. Forgiven.
6
00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:40,417
- Thank you, Duffman.
- You're welcome, Judy.
7
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:43,125
Hey, you can do
at least one thing right.
8
00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:48,333
♪ Can't get enough
of that wonderful Duff. ♪
9
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:51,959
{\an8}♪ I'd like to pour
the world a beer ♪
10
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:55,792
♪ And party heartily ♪
11
00:00:55,792 --> 00:00:59,458
♪ We'd like to make
that beer a Duff ♪
12
00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:02,250
♪ And drink till we can't see ♪
13
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:05,000
♪ It's the beer thing. ♪
14
00:01:09,542 --> 00:01:10,875
{\an8}Yikes.
15
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:14,250
{\an8}Let's turn this grunge
to fun-ge!
16
00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:19,333
♪ 'Cause I'm wanted ♪
17
00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:21,333
♪ For fun in
the first degree ♪
18
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:23,291
♪ Wanted. ♪
19
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,000
Ooh, yeah! Ha-ha!
20
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,166
{\an8}Those were the days, huh?
21
00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:29,166
{\an8}Well, those days may have been
the days back then,
22
00:01:29,166 --> 00:01:31,959
{\an8}but these days, the days
aren't those days anymore.
23
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,333
{\an8}And, gentlemen,
we can't be either.
24
00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:37,083
{\an8}Go ahead and harrumph,
25
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:39,417
{\an8}but Duff needs a new message
and a new messenger,
26
00:01:39,417 --> 00:01:41,000
{\an8}so get a harrumph of this.
27
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,208
Attention, Duff Nation.
28
00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:45,375
{\an8}We need you to choose
our new mascot
29
00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:46,917
{\an8}by voting in our first ever
30
00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:48,166
{\an8}Duff Election.
31
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:49,375
{\an8}The candidates are:
32
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,542
{\an8}Hops and Barley,
lady brewologists
33
00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,375
{\an8}who don't even know
they're pretty.
34
00:01:53,375 --> 00:01:56,709
{\an8}Woketopus, the most open-minded
mollusk on the block.
35
00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:58,208
{\an8}Dame Helen Mirren.
36
00:01:58,208 --> 00:02:00,083
I'm sorry, what is this for?
37
00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:02,041
{\an8}And I guess
we're open to keeping Duffman.
38
00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:04,875
{\an8}Vote today. Democracy needs you,
39
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,625
{\an8}and so do we.
40
00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:10,083
{\an8}This is our moment.
Duffman needs us, and so do we.
41
00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:11,625
{\an8}They can't get rid of Duffman.
42
00:02:11,625 --> 00:02:13,875
{\an8}What's next, tear down
the Oregon Trail?
43
00:02:13,875 --> 00:02:15,667
{\an8}Disintegrate
the Lincoln Memorial?
44
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:17,250
{\an8}Impeach Santy Claus?
45
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:19,250
{\an8}I got a notebook
full of examples here.
46
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,500
{\an8}You said it. Duffman was there
47
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,542
{\an8}when I had my first beer at 13,
48
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:25,000
{\an8}and I want him to be there
49
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,083
{\an8}when I have my last beer at 54.
50
00:02:28,083 --> 00:02:31,542
{\an8}Why is there a Duffman sticker
on my saxophone case?
51
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,959
{\an8}My music teacher thinks
I have a problem.
52
00:02:33,959 --> 00:02:36,834
{\an8}We all have a problem.
Duffman might lose.
53
00:02:36,834 --> 00:02:39,417
{\an8}Everyone, everyone.
The latest numbers are in.
54
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:42,417
{\an8}Aw, man, he's tied for
last place with some loser named
55
00:02:42,417 --> 00:02:44,291
"No Mascot; Just Logo."
56
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,417
{\an8}Oh, no.
57
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:49,417
{\an8}Brandon, you're my agent.
Reassure Duffman.
58
00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:51,834
{\an8}D-Man, chill.
You got this in the bag.
59
00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:53,291
{\an8}Hold on one second.
60
00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:56,709
{\an8}Woketopus, my cephalopod
from another mom bod.
61
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:59,333
{\an8}You're gonna mop the floor with
that hip-thrusting has-been.
62
00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:00,834
{\an8}Still me, Brandon.
63
00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:02,333
{\an8}You have a great day.
64
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,583
{\an8}Duffman needs to remind people
why they love Duffman.
65
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:08,625
{\an8}They love him.
66
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:10,583
{\an8}♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪
67
00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:14,125
{\an8}Dry T-shirts?
68
00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:16,542
{\an8}Not on my watch, ladies.
69
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,250
Get out of here!
70
00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:24,458
That was a blatant act
of tortious negligence.
71
00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:26,583
Tortious negligee.
72
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:28,375
Oh, yeah. Ooh!
73
00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:42,583
Hey, hey!
74
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:50,250
What is happening?
75
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:58,000
Not mine. Not mine. Mine...
76
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,875
No, not mine. Oh!
77
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:02,250
I do think that this is me.
78
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:06,750
Hey, Duffman. Rough week, brah.
79
00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:08,625
{\an8}Getting your can crushed
in the polls,
80
00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:11,542
{\an8}and now you're getting sued
by 37 lady lawyers.
81
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,083
Duffman never meant
to hurt or demean
82
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:15,834
any dames, broads, or chicks.
83
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:18,333
Two thrusts for gender equality.
84
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,792
- He's not sorry.
- He thinks we're idiots.
85
00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:22,417
Let's denounce him
at the Gal Dive.
86
00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:23,667
No, no, please, please.
87
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:26,208
I can't be sexist because, because...
88
00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:29,625
I'm... the father of a daughter.
89
00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:32,041
And as the father of a daughter,
90
00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:34,917
I could never, ever
disrespect women.
91
00:04:34,917 --> 00:04:36,041
Uh-uh.
92
00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:39,041
It seems like
every famous man
93
00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:40,500
who gets himself in doo-doo
94
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,166
brings up that
he has a daughter,
95
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:44,959
and I think
that's doo-doo. I do.
96
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:47,041
Father of a daughter.
97
00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:49,208
That's the lamest defense
in the world,
98
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:52,625
but these days there's no way
anybody's gonna fall for it.
99
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,375
He's got a daughter?
100
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,792
- How bad can he be?
- What a role model.
101
00:04:56,792 --> 00:04:58,041
- What?
- Oh.
102
00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:00,375
{\an8}Got a photo
of your little princess?
103
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:03,667
{\an8}Sure, sure,
I have a picture of her...
104
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,041
{\an8}right here.
105
00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:07,834
Wait, that's me.
106
00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:09,542
Lisa is Duffman's daughter?
107
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,959
Marge, did you sleep
with Duffman?
108
00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:13,792
- No.
- Why not?
109
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:15,417
He's lying.
110
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:18,250
That photo must be from one
of those sleazy beer events
111
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,709
you take the kids to,
even though you say you don't.
112
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:23,083
Duffman's using me as a prop?
113
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:25,917
You wish. His prop
is a Duff chick magnet.
114
00:05:25,917 --> 00:05:28,583
There's got to be
some explanation.
115
00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:32,250
The explanation is he's a jerk,
and I hope he loses.
116
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:35,625
Lisa, you wash
your mouth out with beer.
117
00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:38,625
I hope he loses, too.
Beer, please.
118
00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:41,583
Homer, you have to tell Duffman
that he's not allowed to use
119
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:44,625
our daughter as a "get out
of hot water free" card.
120
00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:46,500
Oh, can't I just talk to him
121
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,917
at the next "Duff
Single Mom Twerk Olympics"?
122
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:50,250
Now.
123
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,917
I hope this is the right place.
124
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:58,166
Um, hi. My name
is Homer Simpson.
125
00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:00,291
Duffman is off the clock
126
00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:02,417
and does not have time
for randos.
127
00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:04,125
Thanks a lot. Drink Duff.
128
00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:06,458
Hey, are you gonna slam the door
129
00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:08,625
on your own daughter?
130
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:12,375
Oh, Duffman is busted. Oh, boy.
131
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:14,959
You're a sexist and a phony.
132
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,125
How can you live with yourself?
133
00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:19,750
All right, all right,
I'm sorry I fibbed.
134
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,583
I panicked. I pulled up a pic
135
00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:24,500
from Dufftoberfest
from a few years ago.
136
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:27,250
A few years ago
was the best one.
137
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,667
What? Oh.
138
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:31,458
Lisa's not your Lisa.
She's my Lisa,
139
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:32,959
so the next time
you're in trouble,
140
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,583
use a picture
of some other guy's kid.
141
00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:36,834
Thanks, Dad.
142
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,750
Sorry, I just...
143
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:46,875
Oh, no.
144
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:48,959
Are you okay, Mr. Duffman?
145
00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:52,250
I am not.
146
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,667
The thing is, I really do have
a daughter, okay?
147
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,458
Her name is Amber.
She's named after
148
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,000
my favorite beverage color,
149
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,375
but now she's 30 years old,
and she won't talk to me.
150
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:04,000
Lisa, do you mind waiting
in the car for a moment?
151
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,000
Daddy needs to be strong
for his famous friend.
152
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,625
Of course.
153
00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,667
Can I get a selfie of me
with you in your bathrobe?
154
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:16,208
Gah, your daughter is so bright
and confident.
155
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:17,667
She is.
156
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:20,250
So, you must've taught her
so much.
157
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,208
I guess I did.
158
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:25,375
You must be the greatest
girl dad i-in the world.
159
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:26,875
I must be!
160
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:28,875
Maybe it's not too late
for me, huh?
161
00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:30,875
Could you teach me
how to be a better...
162
00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,542
you know, girl dad?
163
00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:36,166
- I will!
- Duffman thanks you.
164
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,333
And so do I. Come here.
165
00:07:50,709 --> 00:07:53,625
Come on, Duffman. Don't worry
about losing your job.
166
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:56,041
We need to focus on how
you lost your daughter.
167
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:58,375
That's why I've assembled
this crack team
168
00:07:58,375 --> 00:08:00,083
of daughter dads
to help you out.
169
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:03,208
I think you'll find
they're the finest men around.
170
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:06,583
Welcome to P.F. Thong's.
You boys ready to order?
171
00:08:06,583 --> 00:08:10,583
I will have the Lettuce D-Cups,
um, with a chicken side piece.
172
00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:14,834
I will have the Wedgie Salad
and the Baby Got Back Ribs.
173
00:08:14,834 --> 00:08:17,583
Oh, and, uh, some Sprung Rolls
for the table.
174
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:20,208
I don't have much
of an appetite.
175
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,083
See, I, well,
I haven't talked to my daughter
176
00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:24,000
in years, and, um...
177
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,333
Say no more. I'll bring you
a Dead Beet Salad
178
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,000
and a Coke Zero Contact.
179
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:32,792
So, if your estranged daughter
writes an angry book about you,
180
00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:35,583
don't self-publish
your rebuttal book.
181
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,417
Uh, thanks for all
the advice, fellas.
182
00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:40,792
Dad-vice.
183
00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:42,834
I-It's just,
I haven't talked to Amber
184
00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:45,625
in over a decade. I-I don't
even know where to begin.
185
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,834
You just got to show her
you still care.
186
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:50,125
Pick up the damn phone.
Call her.
187
00:08:55,041 --> 00:08:57,458
Call her! Call her! Call her!
188
00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:59,083
I'm on the phone with her now.
189
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:02,250
Ignore us. Ignore us. Ignore us.
190
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,250
Amber, I was just wondering, um,
191
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,083
could I maybe drive up there
to see you sometime?
192
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:09,125
Uh, this weekend, maybe?
193
00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:11,291
She said, "I guess."
194
00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:14,625
No, not...
195
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:15,959
...because what if I screw up?
196
00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,375
What if Amber hates me? I...
197
00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:19,375
I need you to come
with me, please.
198
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:22,125
A road trip with Duffman.
Woo-hoo!
199
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:24,500
You, me, and Lisa.
200
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:28,000
Bonet? This trip just keeps
getting better.
201
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,333
No, no, no, your Lisa.
202
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:30,834
I need both my girl-dad guru
203
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:33,458
and his dad-girl-daughter
for inspiration.
204
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,000
Lisa! Lisa, you're coming
with me and Duffman
205
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,834
on a road trip to Glendon Falls.
206
00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:41,166
What?
207
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,500
- Why would I want to do that?
- Hmm.
208
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,208
Marge, why would Lisa want to go
to Glendon Falls
209
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:47,625
with me and Duffman?
210
00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:51,959
Well, that's near
the Agatha Christie Museum
211
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,333
of Quirky Detectives.
212
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,542
Lisa likes Agatha Christie?
213
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:57,208
I love Agatha Christie,
214
00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:59,500
and that museum
is gonna be amazing.
215
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,542
Ooh! Ah, I can't
believe you remembered.
216
00:10:02,542 --> 00:10:05,291
They're having a special exhibit
this weekend
217
00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:07,917
on her ten reddest herrings.
218
00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:11,000
Thank you.
You're the best dad ever.
219
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,542
Aw, you don't have to thank me.
220
00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:16,417
Do it later in front of Duffman.
221
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:22,125
Man, I can't believe I'm on
a road trip with my hero.
222
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,125
Wow, your little daughter's
your hero?
223
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:26,041
That's so sweet.
224
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:29,041
And that's exactly
who I was referring to.
225
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:31,625
Oh, hey, we should put on music
that Lisa likes, huh?
226
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,625
Okay, Lisa likes jazz.
227
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:34,917
That's a thing I know.
228
00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:37,500
{\an8}Mm, I'm not in the mood
for jazz right now.
229
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,417
{\an8}Let's listen to
my second favorite.
230
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,709
Salsa? Old-school rap?
231
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,041
Traffic on the twos?
232
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:44,750
I like K-pop, Dad.
233
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,542
Wh-- Oh, uh, of course.
I knew that.
234
00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:50,750
It's fun to pretend
that you're clueless.
235
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,750
Beautiful.
236
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:55,542
♪ We are the lovesick girls ♪
237
00:10:58,834 --> 00:10:59,917
Oh, yeah!
238
00:10:59,917 --> 00:11:03,291
♪ We are the lovesick girls. ♪
239
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:08,500
Dad, I don't need you
to do that.
240
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,917
They always try
to be older
241
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,542
than they are, don't they?
242
00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:14,250
Oh, man, such good fathering.
243
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,208
Not like... Duffman.
244
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:20,458
Would it help to talk
about Amber?
245
00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:26,000
She was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
246
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,083
But then I became Duffman,
247
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,792
and, well,
you know what they say,
248
00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:32,792
"With great pilsner
comes great infidelity."
249
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,667
Her mom left me
when Amber was four.
250
00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:38,792
And by the end of high school,
Amber hated me.
251
00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:40,750
Said she never wanted
to talk to me again,
252
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,125
and I guess I just believed her.
253
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,291
Yes, believe women.
254
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,417
No, she was a kid.
She didn't mean it.
255
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,291
Yes, believe Lisa.
256
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,291
I think about her every day,
and I...
257
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,500
I keep this drawing with me
wherever I go.
258
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,959
Aw, you need to tell her
all of this.
259
00:11:56,959 --> 00:12:00,166
I bet she's been waiting for you
to reach out for years.
260
00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:02,750
Oh, Lisa, you are so sweet
261
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:04,250
and so wise.
262
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:06,625
Guh-reat job, Homer!
263
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,291
Homer, Homer!
264
00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:10,041
Guess what.
265
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,291
They give you
a real tea set to drop
266
00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:15,125
when you walk in the drawing
room and find a dead body.
267
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,583
Brandon, what is up?
268
00:12:18,583 --> 00:12:19,917
Seriously, like, uh, what's up?
269
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,542
Not your election numbers,
Duff-bro.
270
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:22,875
They're dismal.
271
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,166
Look, you're near
the corporate mascot convention
272
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,291
at the Conventions.comventions
273
00:12:27,291 --> 00:12:28,542
convention center.
274
00:12:28,542 --> 00:12:30,834
It'd be a great chance
to drum up some support.
275
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,583
He'll do it, Brandon.
276
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,000
Duffman cannot lose
this election.
277
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,667
But what about the museum?
278
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,667
There's plenty of time for both.
279
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:41,041
That's a proud papa pledge.
280
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:52,667
Hey-ya, Chief,
can I count on you for a...
281
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,542
middle finger, okay.
282
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:57,500
Ooh, I bet this guy's
a registered Duffocrat.
283
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:00,250
Uh-oh, he flashed a gun.
My goodness.
284
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,250
Anyone? Anyone want a selfie?
285
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,875
We could use my phone.
I can Air...
286
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:06,417
Drop it to you.
287
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:07,875
In five minutes,
288
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:10,750
{\an8}join us in Ballroom C
for a panel discussion.
289
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:12,625
{\an8}The Charlie Tuna Conundrum--
290
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,959
{\an8}When the Mascot Is the Product.
291
00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:21,125
Attention, everyone,
292
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:24,250
Duffman is sitting
all by himself in Hallway B.
293
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,041
Please just go say hi to him.
294
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:28,375
He really needs this. And, uh,
295
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,041
don't listen to this
if you're him.
296
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,709
Oh, my God.
297
00:13:32,709 --> 00:13:35,000
Can I get your autograph...
pen?
298
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,834
I got to get a signature
from the Mucinex loogie.
299
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:40,458
He is so hot.
300
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:44,041
Losing to a loogie.
301
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,375
Dad, shouldn't we get going?
302
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,208
The museum closes at 5:00.
303
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:51,917
Don't worry, sweetie,
I'm keeping an eye on the time.
304
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:53,333
It's only 2:30.
305
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:57,750
That's not a real clock!
306
00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:01,041
That's the mascot
for Tea Time Tamales.
307
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,333
Oh, my God, no.
308
00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:09,166
Wait! Wait!
309
00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:10,750
No, don't close!
310
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,417
You can't close yet.
311
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:15,041
Mm, sorry, kid, we're shutting
down for three months
312
00:14:15,041 --> 00:14:16,709
to build a new attraction.
313
00:14:16,709 --> 00:14:18,625
Aw, nuts.
314
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,458
You got to stay open.
We drove all this way,
315
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:23,792
and I'm a second grader
who solves murders
316
00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:25,250
on a sixth-grade level.
317
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:26,792
Well, look who I brought.
318
00:14:26,792 --> 00:14:29,792
I can unlock a lot of things
for Duffman,
319
00:14:29,792 --> 00:14:31,542
but not this museum.
320
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:42,125
Well, this calls
for some expert dadding.
321
00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:44,291
Lisa, honey,
tell Daddy what's wrong.
322
00:14:44,291 --> 00:14:45,959
This is all your fault.
323
00:14:45,959 --> 00:14:47,625
That's right.
324
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,959
- Let it out.
- Okay,
325
00:14:49,959 --> 00:14:51,500
I am tired of you pretending
326
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,250
that you're some sort of
ideal dad when this whole trip
327
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:57,917
you've been kissing
Duffman's cans.
328
00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,125
See, I knew you
wouldn't have any fun.
329
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:02,625
That's why I didn't think
you should come. Eh...
330
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:03,834
Uh-oh.
331
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:06,875
You didn't even want
to bring me.
332
00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:08,625
You were just using me
333
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:11,542
as some kind of girl-dad prop,
334
00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:13,500
just like Duffman did.
335
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,291
Don't ever
336
00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:16,834
talk to me
337
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:18,208
again.
338
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:24,917
She'll get over this, right?
339
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:26,792
Mine did not.
340
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,375
Oh...
341
00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,875
Ready, handsome?
342
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:33,834
You're leaving?
343
00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:36,417
Duffman just realized that you
344
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,792
are not a good dad. Uh-uh.
345
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:43,041
I'm all yours... Renata.
346
00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:44,166
Fun name.
347
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:45,625
Renata.
348
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:48,375
Oh...
349
00:15:54,125 --> 00:15:55,875
So...
350
00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:57,500
what you reading there?
351
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,458
Come on,
you got to say something.
352
00:16:01,458 --> 00:16:03,208
{\an8}Something.
353
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:05,750
Ooh, I can't handle
the silent treatment.
354
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,542
Don't leave me alone
with my brain.
355
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,959
- I remember this one time...
- Eyes on the road!
356
00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:16,375
Oh, Duffman left Amber's drawing
in the car.
357
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,208
It's really a shame about them.
358
00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:20,792
It is. (sighs) He really does
love her, you know.
359
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:23,750
Maybe, but Duffman should've
spent more time listening
360
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:27,250
to Amber instead of thinking
only about himself.
361
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,750
Well, maybe sometimes
Duffman's scared to listen
362
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:33,000
because he'll hear about all
the dumb stuff he screwed up.
363
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,250
Sure, but maybe
he should be brave enough
364
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,250
to admit he's not perfect.
365
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:40,166
Not even close to perfect.
366
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,917
Oh...
367
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,166
I think we should
take this to them.
368
00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:48,041
Yeah. I hope they work
things out before it's too late.
369
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,250
Me, too, Dad.
That would be really great.
370
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,458
Good luck, buddy.
I'm rooting for you.
371
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,458
Thank you, Evan, and good luck
372
00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:02,583
with your MFA. Oh, yeah.
373
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:11,000
Okay, here we go.
Time to prove to your daughter
374
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,625
that you've changed.
375
00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:13,792
Ah. Damn.
376
00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:15,000
A little help, bro?
377
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,291
Dude, it's Duffman.
378
00:17:17,291 --> 00:17:19,000
Join our rager!
379
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,792
Oh, yeah.
380
00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:23,208
I mean, no, no.
Not who I am anymore.
381
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,250
Okay.
382
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,375
I can't believe you're here
383
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,792
because I don't know you,
and I did not invite you.
384
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,291
Oh, what an odd thing to say.
385
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:39,709
Hi, I'm Homer, and this is Lisa.
386
00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,542
We have something
to give to your dad.
387
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:43,333
Yeah, well, I can't help you.
388
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,000
He never showed.
389
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,667
I don't get it.
390
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,000
If I know Duffman,
and I briefly did,
391
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,000
nothing was more important
to him than seeing you.
392
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,500
He was so excited.
393
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:58,000
Really? As excited as he was
to miss every dance recital,
394
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,000
every graduation,
every art show?
395
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,834
No. More.
396
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:04,709
Your dad taught me
the importance
397
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,250
of not taking my daughter's
love for granted.
398
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,000
Duffman's really changed.
399
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,709
Trust me, when you see him next,
400
00:18:10,709 --> 00:18:13,125
you'll be amazed
at how enlightened
401
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,333
and sensitive he's become.
402
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,667
Chicken fight!
403
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,333
♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪
404
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,125
Come on, friend!
405
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,542
What the crap?
406
00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:25,792
No, Amber, I was just about
to knock on your door.
407
00:18:25,792 --> 00:18:27,083
You have to believe me.
408
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:29,375
It's true.
This whole chicken fight,
409
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,291
it felt like
he was somewhere else.
410
00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:34,542
I'm sorry, Colleen, but if this
teaches you anything,
411
00:18:34,542 --> 00:18:37,500
it's that you should work on
your relationship with your dad.
412
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,208
I have a great
relationship with my dad.
413
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:43,041
I just also like bikinis
and parties, you jerk.
414
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:44,583
Duffman respects your journey.
415
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:46,625
Amber? Amber!
416
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,875
Amber!
417
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,333
Ah, Amber...
418
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:53,542
Hey, uh, pal--
Whoa, that's Duffman!
419
00:18:53,542 --> 00:18:55,959
Amber, look out!
420
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,875
You saved me...
421
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,458
Dad.
422
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:11,583
So, the chick magnet
is also a daughter magnet,
423
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:12,917
I get it now.
424
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:15,875
All chicks
are somebody's daughter.
425
00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:18,750
- No. Uh-uh.
- Yeah, try again.
426
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:21,166
Some chicks are guys,
and that's okay.
427
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:22,583
Mm... Mm-mm.
428
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:24,542
- Hmm.
- It-It's okay, Dad.
429
00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:26,750
B-Baby steps, I guess.
430
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,583
Give her this now.
431
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,917
No way. I haven't
seen this in ages.
432
00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:34,750
I look at it every single day.
433
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:38,417
I miss you so much, and
I should've been there for you.
434
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:41,417
Dad, I'm so glad
you're back in my life,
435
00:19:41,417 --> 00:19:43,583
and I really hope that...
436
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,208
Ugh, seriously?
437
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,083
Duffman, amazing news.
438
00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:49,291
- You won the election.
- Oh, yeah?
439
00:19:49,291 --> 00:19:50,625
Oh, yeah.
440
00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:52,709
Some kid posted video
of you singing K-pop,
441
00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:55,291
and their fan army voted
for you en freakin' masse.
442
00:19:55,291 --> 00:19:56,959
I need you on
the next plane to Korea.
443
00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:59,792
Kim Jong-un wants to kidnap you
and make a movie together.
444
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,542
Oh, yeah!
445
00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:06,500
Aw, you know what?
I think I have had enough
446
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,166
of that wonderful Duff.
447
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,125
What? You'll never work in
the adult beverage game again.
448
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:14,709
No beer, no hard seltzer,
no kombucha.
449
00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:17,959
Duff Nation, Duffman is here
450
00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:20,583
to get you wrecked
in a whole new way as...
451
00:20:20,583 --> 00:20:23,041
Puffman.
452
00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:25,875
Come check out my daughter's
brand-new weed store
453
00:20:25,875 --> 00:20:28,125
featuring her custom-made,
one of a kind,
454
00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,875
glass bongs.
455
00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:34,166
Oh, yeah. If any of my other
estranged daughters
456
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,166
are watching, hit me up.
457
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,000
Wait, your what?
458
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,625
I mean-- Oh, yeah!
459
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:40,834
{\an8}Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
460
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:42,000
{\an8}and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
461
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,667
{\an8}and TOYOTA.
462
00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:45,041
{\an8}Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
463
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:52,583
{\an8}Your tea service,
Lord Thistlewink.
464
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:30,125
Shh!
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