All language subtitles for Night Gallery 305 - You Can Come Up Now, Mrs Millikan

Tonight's stars,

Ozzie Nelson, Harriet Nelson,

Roger Davis,

and Cesare Danova.

For the benefit of those of you

who have not visited
art lover soirees before,

I am your guide, host, curator.

I introduce the hanging goodies

with just a few
words of explanation

as to how we secure
them for our exhibit.

Sometimes a loan,
sometimes a direct purchase,

frequently a shovel.

Tonight, we offer you the
sour fruit of a scientist's failure.

For there are apparently some
things that can't be accomplished.

And therein lies the tale
and hangs the picture

in this, the Night Gallery.

Dr. Coolidge.

Hello. Good morning.

Hello, Dr. Burgess.

What do you think he's up to?

Uh, gentlemen, I
bid you welcome.

For the benefit of those of
you who may not know me,

I am Henry Millikan.

And you, I acknowledge,

are a collection of
some of the finest

scientific minds of our time.

I'm sorry, there
weren't more of you

who responded
to my invitation...

Uh, Mr. Millikan,
it's quite late.

Do you suppose we
could get on with it?

Dr. Burgess, my wife
should be here any minute.

I am so sorry.

Oh, dear.

Oh, I'm so sorry darling.

Please forgive me.

I just forgot.

Ladies and gentlemen,
my wife Helena.

Dilatory but delightful.

How do you do?

Won't you please sit down?

The object you see in
the bottom of this beaker

is just an ordinary rock,

taken from my front yard.

As a matter of fact, my
wife Helena found it for me.

Well, actually, I brought it in
several days after I found it.

When Henry says I'm dilatory...

Now... Now darling.

Don't worry about it.

Almost since the
beginning of civilization,

man has been interested in the
transmuting of base metals into noble ones.

Mr. Millikan, "the base
metals into the noble ones"?

Aren't you talking
about alchemy?

Uh, in a sense, yes.

Uh, if you will forgive
us, Mr. Millikan.

We came here ostensibly

to witness a
scientific experiment.

And now you tell us that we
are to be witnesses to the...

Making of gold.

That's right. Gold from rock.

If you'll just bear with me.

Transmutation process should
take approximately 30 seconds.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen.

I'm sorry, gentlemen.

It looks like my experiment

was in the nature of a...

Mild failure.

The experiment, Mr. Millikan

has not been a failure.

It has served to reinforce

an opinion held of you by
many of us for many, many years.

Namely, that you
are a hybrid cross

between an eccentric, a
charlatan and a carnival barker!

Whatever!

The one thing you are
not, sir, is a scientist!

A little patience, gentlemen.

A little patience?

A year ago, this
month, Mr. Millikan,

you had me here to witness a
perpetual motion machine you'd invented.

It ran for exactly 12 seconds,

and then two wheels fell off.

The year before that,

it was a chemical you
injected into a hamster

that would bring
back instant youth.

The rodent somersaulted
twice in the air and fell dead.

In the interest of time
and trouble Mr. Millikan,

may I suggest to
you, sir, please,

when you draw
up the invitation list

for your next exhibition,

please eliminate my name.

And mine.

And mine as well!

Henry, dear.

If at first you don't succeed...

Oh, don't worry. I'll try again.

Well, the problem is
they don't appreciate you.

That seems to be the case,

judging by the
sparsity of the turnout.

Oh, I'm afraid that's
mostly my fault.

I didn't send out most of the
invitations until much too late.

I had them in my desk,

and I quite forgot them.

I was late as usual, Henry.

Don't worry, darling.
That's all right.

I'm going down to the
vault to do some work.

Could you call me
in about two hours,

in case I get
immersed and forget?

Oh, and... Would you
tidy up the room a bit?

Oh, immediately,
Henry. Immediately!

Helena, darling.

Yes, Henry?

What was it you
were going to do?

What was I going to do?

I was uh...

Do you mind reminding
me, Henry, darling?

I'm so forgetful.

You're gonna tidy up the
room, remember, dear?

Oh, of course.

Uh, Helena?

Helena, darling?

Yes, Henry?

Uh, what time is it?

Oh, Henry.

"Oh, Henry."

That sweet, precious,
lovable, mindless woman!

See, darling? I
made a fire for you.

You didn't call me when two
hours were up, sweetheart.

You didn't even call me
when four hours were up.

Oh, I forgot.

But I did make a lovely fire.

Yes, it's a beautiful fire.

Did you also remember
to cook dinner?

Dinner.

Darling, do you remember what
you said earlier this evening?

What I said?

Yeah, about my trying again.

If at first I don't succeed...

Of course, my darling.

Well, that's precisely
what I'm going to do.

Now, I had in mind

that absolute
crowning achievement.

A scientific theory so totally,
devastatingly monumental,

that I dare not even
speak about it aloud.

And, you my darling,
you shall be a part of it.

Oh, Henry, I'm so undeserving.

Nevertheless, you're
going to be an integral part

of an earth-shattering triumph
of man over the elements.

Now, do you suppose
you could remember

to come down to the vault

and get me before 1:00?

I'll be working late

but I'm on the verge, Helena.

I'm on the verge.

By 1:00 in the morning!

Absolutely, Henry.

I shall be as an
alarm clock to you!

Excellent, my
darling. Excellent!

Oh, and one thing.

Don't forget to set the alarm.

Helena?

Helena?

Oh, Henry.

What time is it?

It's about 4:00.

Oh, my goodness. You said...

It doesn't matter a
particle, my lovely.

Not a particle.

I have something here
that will make me famous

and you, darling, immortal.

Oh, that's nice, Henry.

Uncle Henry?

Uncle Henry?

I'm down in the vault, George.

Uncle Henry, I
have to talk to you.

Come on down, George.

How is your Aunt Helena?

That's what I want
to talk to you about.

Aunt Helena is a
very sick woman.

Oh, I don't doubt it, George.

Say, would you like some wine?

We have some remarkable sherry.

Sometimes, Uncle
Henry, I don't think

the seriousness of this
is getting across to you.

The seriousness of it, George?

Uncle Henry, I'd be
doing you a disfavor

if I didn't tell you
that Aunt Helena

is simply not
responding to medication.

Her condition is
considerably more serious

than it was last week.

Oh, I understand that, George.

Believe me, I do.

And I completely trust
your medical judgment.

It's rather a favorable
comment on my judgment.

Young man I helped
through medical school

turns out to be a first
rate, jim-dandy doctor.

Uncle Henry.

Uncle Henry.

Aunt Helena is dying.

Well, I'm not surprised, George.

I'm not surprised at all.

There's no question that it's
food poisoning of some sort.

Unfortunately, the lab tests

haven't been able
to classify it yet.

Which means that we can't
come up with a proper antidote.

Naturally, George!

Because there isn't any.

Say, are you sure, you
don't want some wine?

Uncle Henry.

Don't you understand
what I'm saying to you?

Now, Aunt Helena is dying.

And there isn't a thing
we can do about it.

About her dying? Well,
obviously not, George.

Man proposes and God disposes.

How long do you think
it's gonna take, George?

She's been late with
everything during her life.

I suppose she'll be
late with her dying, too.

Good Lord, Uncle Henry.

That's got to be
the most unfeeling...

George!

There are elements here

that are beyond
our comprehension.

Uh, Helena darling,
don't you worry a particle.

It'll be all over soon.

Uncle Henry.

Uncle Henry.

Yes, George?

If... If I didn't
know you better,

if I didn't know the
kind of relationship

that you and Aunt Helena had...

Uh, yes, George?
What would you think?

I'd think...

Well, I might even
attempt to prove

that this very predictable death

was predictable,

because it was not accidental.

You mean you think I'm trying to
do away with your Aunt Helena?

Do me an enormous
favor, Uncle Henry.

Tell me otherwise.

You... You try a man, George.

You really do.

Uh, follow me.

Helena, darling.
Can you hear me?

Tell George, dear.

Tell him what we've got planned.

Aunt Helena, did Uncle
Henry give you poison?

But, you didn't take
it against your will.

You knew you were taking
it. Tell him, sweetheart.

Aunt Helena.

Tell me why? Why?

Because... Henry's going
to bring me back to life.

Now, my precious,
we begin the process

that will return
you to the living.

Uncle Henry, are you down there?

Yeah, I'm down here with
your Aunt Helena, George.

I'll be up directly.

Now, my darling,

precisely five minutes,
and you'll be back with me.

That's all it takes.

A bit of sherry, George?

You look as if you
could use some.

It's a little after midnight.

I hope you're honoring
our bargain, George.

Remember, you promised
not to notify anyone

until three hours had elapsed.

I'm afraid I lied, Uncle Henry.

I called the police.

They're on their
way here right now.

You shouldn't have
done that, George.

They're going to
be very annoyed.

Uncle Henry, I think
the most essential thing

is that you get
yourself a lawyer.

A lawyer? A very good one.

Why on earth would
I need a lawyer?

You are going to be
charged with homicide.

Most likely, first degree
murder. Do you understand?

That's humorous, George.

Really, that's very humorous.

How can there be a
homicide without a victim?

There has to be a victim.

What do you think that is
down there in your vault?

That's your Aunt
Helena down the vault.

And in a few minutes,
a very few minutes,

she's gonna come
walking up those stairs.

And, George, she'll
be very much alive.

All right. Let me see her.

Well, of course!

She is irrevocably,

unarguably

and unequivocally dead.

Unequivocally, unarguably,

but not irrevocably, George.

Don't you understand? She's
coming back to life again!

I've injected her with my serum.

It revitalizes the heart
and the brain cells.

It infuses life into the dead.

She'll be coming
back any minute.

Darling?

Sweetheart, time to get up.

Darling?

Darling?

Sweetheart, time
to start breathing.

Darling, time to
start breathing again.

Sweetheart.

It's time.

Overdue.

Uncle Henry, the police are
gonna be here in just a minute now.

I don't want you
to say anything.

You just stay silent.
I'll do all the talking.

Let me handle it.

It's obviously a case of
temporary insanity, and that's all.

I don't know what happened.

She should be back with us...

She's not coming back!

Now, look at her. She's dead.

Your serum is like your alchemy,

your youth elixir, your
perpetual motion machine.

All worthless, useless,
non-functioning. Don't you understand?

Do you think this
means prison, George?

It means a hospital for
the criminally insane.

Something of that sort.

Something of that sort
wouldn't appeal at all, George.

I wouldn't care for that at all.

As for life without Helena...

I'll be up in my room, George,

in case the police want me.

Beaumont?

The woman is dead.

That's what I told
you on the phone.

You say the poison was
administered by her husband.

Is that it?

But with extenuating
circumstances.

My uncle...

My uncle isn't normal.

Well, is he normal
enough to put on his coat

and come downtown
with us while we book him?

He'll have to get a lawyer.

We'll explain all that to him.

But he'll have to
come along with us.

The coroner's on his way over
now to take a look at the body.

If you'll wait here,
gentlemen, I'll get my uncle.

Uncle Henry?

Uncle Henry, the police are
here. They're waiting for you.

Uncle Henry?

Uncle Henry?

Uncle Henry?

Well, where is he?

He's joined his wife.

What's that supposed
to mean, Doctor?

My uncle is dead.

Well, under the circumstances,

that's probably
all for the best.

When the coroner comes,
tell him we'll be upstairs.

George, dear, where's Henry?

As usual, I'm late.

No.

No.

No.

Take your positions
if you will now.

The camera's ready
and smile, please.

This really is very kind of you.

My dear lady. I would not
have missed it for the world.

I shouldn't have had the nerve
to come here alone, you know.

They're really quite harmless
when they're sleeping.

How about when they're not?

Oh, yes, to be sure.

Just think.

I'll be the first
person in history

to ever photograph
a genuine vampire.

But the coffin's empty.

So it is.

How can I take a picture if
the vampire's not even here?

But he is here.

He is?

And you shall have your
photograph just as I promised.

Cheese!