All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie (1965) - S04E02 - Jeannie and the Wild Pipchicks (480p DVD x265 Silence)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:02,717 [♪] 2 00:00:04,019 --> 00:00:06,053 Thank you. All right, when I count three, 3 00:00:06,054 --> 00:00:07,054 you let it down... 4 00:00:07,055 --> 00:00:08,356 Uh, take it out. Yes, master. 5 00:00:08,357 --> 00:00:09,991 One, two... 6 00:00:11,577 --> 00:00:12,577 Three. 7 00:00:12,578 --> 00:00:13,828 [DOORBELL RINGS] 8 00:00:13,829 --> 00:00:15,196 Oh. I will get it. 9 00:00:15,197 --> 00:00:17,632 No, no, no. I'll get it, I'll get it. 10 00:00:22,271 --> 00:00:23,772 Talk about air mail. 11 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,040 I think it's for you. 12 00:00:26,041 --> 00:00:28,543 Oh! It is from my mother. 13 00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:33,181 I think I know what it is. 14 00:00:35,017 --> 00:00:37,485 Uh, Jeannie. 15 00:00:37,486 --> 00:00:39,721 Uh, Jeannie, do me a favor. Would you ask your mother 16 00:00:39,722 --> 00:00:42,190 to go through the normal channels when she mails things? 17 00:00:42,191 --> 00:00:44,392 I really don't think my neighbors could understand 18 00:00:44,393 --> 00:00:46,260 us getting parcels on... 19 00:00:46,261 --> 00:00:48,797 On magic carpets. Yes, master. 20 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,350 Ooh! I was right. Pipchicks. 21 00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:54,018 Yeah? Pipchicks. 22 00:00:54,019 --> 00:00:56,654 My favorite candy. 23 00:00:56,655 --> 00:00:57,789 [MOANS] 24 00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:00,559 And no one can make them like my mother does. 25 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,894 Mmm. Try one, master. 26 00:01:02,895 --> 00:01:05,496 No, thanks. If your mother made them, I'd really rather not... 27 00:01:05,497 --> 00:01:07,232 Oh, please, master. Here, try one. 28 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,184 You'll adore them. Mmph... 29 00:01:09,885 --> 00:01:11,052 Well? 30 00:01:12,821 --> 00:01:13,888 Well, good. 31 00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:18,110 It's great. What'd she put in 'em? 32 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,512 I do not know. It is my mother's secret recipe. 33 00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:21,879 She will not tell anyone. 34 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,548 You thank her the next time you see her. 35 00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:25,117 They're really sensational. 36 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:28,086 I will, master. I am delighted you like them. 37 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,305 Well, there we are. 38 00:01:30,306 --> 00:01:32,607 [♪] 39 00:01:40,483 --> 00:01:42,417 [♪] 40 00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:30,681 [♪] 41 00:02:34,586 --> 00:02:36,471 [♪] 42 00:02:39,107 --> 00:02:40,708 Is that all you're having for lunch? 43 00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:42,076 Yeah, I'm not terribly hungry. 44 00:02:42,077 --> 00:02:44,178 Oh, what's the matter, aren't you feeling well? 45 00:02:44,179 --> 00:02:46,080 Ha, I never felt better in my life. 46 00:02:46,081 --> 00:02:48,082 I'm just making a note to send Jeannie's mother 47 00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:49,116 a little something. 48 00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:51,419 I thought you two hated each other. 49 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,454 How could you hate anybody that makes these? 50 00:02:53,455 --> 00:02:54,722 Look. 51 00:02:55,524 --> 00:02:57,158 What are those? 52 00:02:57,159 --> 00:02:58,927 Pipchicks. Oh. 53 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,096 Uh, Roge, I'd rather you didn't eat any. 54 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,565 They have kind of a strange temporary side effect. 55 00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,947 [CUTLERY SCRAPES THEN CLATTERS] 56 00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:11,739 [CUTLERY SCRAPES THEN CLATTERS] 57 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:13,274 Then why are you eating it? 58 00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:16,878 It's got a fantastic taste. They're really sensational. 59 00:03:16,879 --> 00:03:18,947 Hello, ah, Major Nelson, Major Healey. 60 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,516 Mind if I join you? Of course not, sir. 61 00:03:21,517 --> 00:03:23,384 You know, uh, about that inside report 62 00:03:23,385 --> 00:03:24,752 that we had the other day. 63 00:03:24,753 --> 00:03:27,289 I think we'll have to do some more research. You see, 64 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,740 four pages would do it, if... 65 00:03:29,741 --> 00:03:31,176 Mmmmm. 66 00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:32,477 Delicious. 67 00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:33,878 Simply delicious. 68 00:03:33,879 --> 00:03:36,013 I've never tasted anything quite like it. 69 00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:39,584 Did you eat one of those, sir? Yes. 70 00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:40,952 Well, where can you buy them? 71 00:03:40,953 --> 00:03:42,987 Uh, well, you... You can't, sir. 72 00:03:42,988 --> 00:03:44,472 They're... They're homemade. 73 00:03:44,473 --> 00:03:46,057 Who made them? Jeannie's mother. 74 00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:47,191 [THUD, CLATTERING] 75 00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:48,859 Oh. Sorry, Roge. 76 00:03:50,362 --> 00:03:52,163 Um, I did, sir. I just kind of whipped 'em up 77 00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:53,231 in the kitchen. 78 00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:56,084 Remarkable. 79 00:03:56,085 --> 00:03:58,687 Well, then, uh, you won't mind if I take this other piece. 80 00:03:58,688 --> 00:04:00,055 That one's my last one, sir. I... 81 00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:01,690 Oh, come, come, come, major. 82 00:04:01,691 --> 00:04:04,125 You can always whip up another batch. 83 00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:07,062 Oh, uh, have some more coffee... 84 00:04:07,763 --> 00:04:09,581 Extraordinary. 85 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,901 Absolutely extraordinary. 86 00:04:14,302 --> 00:04:16,538 Extraordinary. 87 00:04:16,539 --> 00:04:18,859 You know, this has got to weigh 300 pounds. 88 00:04:20,559 --> 00:04:21,826 Oh. 89 00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:24,512 I feel absolutely marvelous. 90 00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:26,347 Major, I don't know what's in this, 91 00:04:26,348 --> 00:04:27,548 but whatever it is, 92 00:04:27,549 --> 00:04:28,816 I'm going to take it to the lab 93 00:04:28,817 --> 00:04:30,752 to have it analyzed. 94 00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:33,254 300 pounds. Extraordinary. 95 00:04:35,957 --> 00:04:39,727 They're not making cafeterias like they used to. 96 00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:42,397 You're right, Roge. There's nothing wrong with making candy. 97 00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:44,465 I don't have anything to worry about. Nothing... 98 00:04:44,466 --> 00:04:47,034 Major Nelson, do you know what you've done? 99 00:04:47,035 --> 00:04:48,770 If it's what you found in the pipchicks, 100 00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,505 sir, I can explain about it. I don't... 101 00:04:50,506 --> 00:04:52,072 The Dietician Section has finished 102 00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:53,608 the analysis of your candy. 103 00:04:53,609 --> 00:04:55,877 Colonel Finch is on the way over now with the results. 104 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,378 Well, I'd better be running along. 105 00:04:57,379 --> 00:04:58,946 I can explain that. I know exactly... 106 00:04:58,947 --> 00:05:00,515 Don't any of you come to attention 107 00:05:00,516 --> 00:05:02,717 when a superior officer enters the room? 108 00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:06,921 I'm sorry, colonel. I didn't, uh, see you. 109 00:05:06,922 --> 00:05:10,024 And are you nearsighted too, Dr. Bellows? 110 00:05:10,025 --> 00:05:12,026 I beg your pardon? Dr. Bellows. 111 00:05:12,027 --> 00:05:13,428 I believe I became a full colonel 112 00:05:13,429 --> 00:05:16,096 four days before you, so I outrank you. 113 00:05:16,097 --> 00:05:18,399 Attention. 114 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,234 That's the trouble with you men. 115 00:05:20,235 --> 00:05:23,805 You can't get used to women in positions of authority. 116 00:05:23,806 --> 00:05:26,206 All right, at ease. 117 00:05:26,207 --> 00:05:27,475 Nelson. Ma'am. 118 00:05:27,476 --> 00:05:28,993 Come here. 119 00:05:30,345 --> 00:05:32,446 Pick me up. 120 00:05:32,447 --> 00:05:33,948 I didn't catch that, ma'am. 121 00:05:33,949 --> 00:05:36,017 I said, pick me up. 122 00:05:36,986 --> 00:05:38,486 Pick you up? 123 00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:45,242 [WHEEZING] 124 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,048 Sorry, ma'am. Mm. 125 00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,550 When was the last time you had a piece of your candy? 126 00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,452 This morning, colonel. That explains it. 127 00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:56,487 The initial effects wear off immediately. 128 00:05:56,488 --> 00:05:57,922 It certainly does. Ha-ha-ha! 129 00:05:57,923 --> 00:05:59,974 Healey. Yes, sir. 130 00:05:59,975 --> 00:06:01,743 Come here. Yes, sir. 131 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,578 Yes, colonel. 132 00:06:04,579 --> 00:06:06,180 What...? What is here, Colonel? 133 00:06:06,181 --> 00:06:08,582 Put your hands over your head. Yes, sir. 134 00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:10,184 Now watch this. 135 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,954 Whoa. 136 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,305 BELLOWS: Extraordinary. 137 00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:16,241 [♪] 138 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:21,629 See, very simple. There's nothing to it. 139 00:06:23,598 --> 00:06:27,301 Well, I... I better be getting back to my office. Excuse me. 140 00:06:27,302 --> 00:06:29,370 Absolutely extraordinary. 141 00:06:29,371 --> 00:06:32,273 I took a bite of the candy just before I came in here. 142 00:06:32,274 --> 00:06:34,475 Nelson, do you realize what you've done? 143 00:06:34,476 --> 00:06:36,144 I've created a monster. 144 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:41,966 You have single-handedly solved the space capsule food problem. 145 00:06:41,967 --> 00:06:43,968 You mean that Major Nelson's homemade candy 146 00:06:43,969 --> 00:06:46,370 could be used in space flights? 147 00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,038 Oh, well, I don't think it'd work, sir. 148 00:06:48,039 --> 00:06:50,141 What I mean is, it was an accident. 149 00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:51,375 What is the recipe? 150 00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:52,977 Oh, well, there's no recipe. 151 00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:55,313 No, well, you know how us old-fashioned cooks work. 152 00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,047 A pinch of this, a handful of that. 153 00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,049 Do you mean it's not written down? 154 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:01,219 No, sir. Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you. 155 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,037 I... I'd never be able to do it again. 156 00:07:03,038 --> 00:07:05,557 That's where you're wrong, Nelson. 157 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,958 You're going to do it again, 158 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,560 and you're going to write it down. 159 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:11,346 Do you read me? Yes, ma'am. 160 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:12,814 Doctor, I want this man transferred 161 00:07:12,815 --> 00:07:14,716 to the Dietician Section immediately. 162 00:07:14,717 --> 00:07:17,885 And he'll remain there until these... These, um... 163 00:07:17,886 --> 00:07:19,554 Eh, what do you call them, major? 164 00:07:19,555 --> 00:07:20,755 Pipchicks. 165 00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:24,809 Until these pipchicks have been duplicated exactly. 166 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,360 Well, ma'am, I can't do that. 167 00:07:26,361 --> 00:07:27,595 I'm preparing for a mission. 168 00:07:27,596 --> 00:07:29,263 Nelson. 169 00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:31,733 This is much more important. 170 00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:34,769 Why, this has worldwide implications. 171 00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:38,106 You don't seem to realize what a breakthrough this is. 172 00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:40,942 The Army may march on its stomach, major, 173 00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:42,409 but from now on, 174 00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:46,164 the Air Force will fly with pipchicks. 175 00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:48,348 [♪] 176 00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,109 But, Mama, I must have the recipe. 177 00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:01,011 It's for him, isn't it? 178 00:08:02,097 --> 00:08:04,065 My poor baby. 179 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:07,602 My poor darling Jeannie, always in trouble. 180 00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,871 Always in trouble. 181 00:08:09,872 --> 00:08:13,908 That bum. Spending his time up in space. 182 00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:16,811 What kind of a living is that for a grown man? 183 00:08:16,812 --> 00:08:18,079 Mama. 184 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,331 Aha-ha! I knew it. I knew it. 185 00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:21,315 Oh, my poor darling. 186 00:08:21,316 --> 00:08:22,416 [SIGHS] 187 00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,752 If you could just give me the recipe? 188 00:08:24,753 --> 00:08:27,254 Eh. Who uses a recipe? 189 00:08:27,255 --> 00:08:30,424 A pinch of this, a handful of that. I... 190 00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:35,195 All right. 191 00:08:35,196 --> 00:08:37,331 All right. 192 00:08:37,332 --> 00:08:39,517 It is for him, isn't it? 193 00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:42,754 Yes, Mama, and he needs it desperately. 194 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:44,789 Hmmm. 195 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:48,158 And I'm going to give it to him. 196 00:08:49,144 --> 00:08:50,978 [♪] 197 00:08:50,979 --> 00:08:53,047 That's the recipe? 198 00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:56,183 Yes, sir. Yeah. I... It's very complicated, sir. 199 00:08:56,184 --> 00:08:57,351 And there's no guarantee 200 00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:59,419 that the pipchicks will come out the same way. 201 00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:00,788 It doesn't matter, major. 202 00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:03,658 NASA has given this project the highest priority. 203 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:07,261 The resources of the entire base are at your disposal. 204 00:09:07,262 --> 00:09:11,498 "Three heskils of dates"? So, what's a heskil, major? 205 00:09:11,499 --> 00:09:14,068 Four truckloads. Four truckloads? 206 00:09:14,069 --> 00:09:16,737 Why, major, are you planning to make enough pipchicks 207 00:09:16,738 --> 00:09:18,673 to feed the entire population of India? 208 00:09:18,674 --> 00:09:20,107 Oh, no, sir. 209 00:09:20,108 --> 00:09:22,548 You see, this recipe only makes about two dozen. 210 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:24,962 Sir, I... I'd appreciate it 211 00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:26,664 if you had a little talk to Colonel Finch 212 00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:28,733 about having me relieved from this assignment. 213 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,735 I'm sorry, major. You know how important 214 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,904 the space capsule food program is. 215 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:37,825 Yeah. "Three hipsibahs of oranges"? 216 00:09:37,826 --> 00:09:38,860 Half an acre. 217 00:09:38,861 --> 00:09:41,062 Half an acre? 218 00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:43,781 Why, that's impossible, major. Well, I know that, sir. 219 00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:46,117 That's why I'd like you to talk with Colonel Finch. 220 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,351 Well, I certainly will. 221 00:09:47,352 --> 00:09:49,520 I never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life. 222 00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:50,955 A half an acre. 223 00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:52,390 I'll have you relieved immediately. 224 00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:54,024 Were you looking for me, doctor? Yes. 225 00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:55,559 As a matter of fact, I was, colonel. 226 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,428 Major Nelson was just showing me the recipe 227 00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:58,496 for the pipchicks. 228 00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:01,732 A half an acre of oranges, and I... 229 00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:02,900 And? 230 00:10:02,901 --> 00:10:04,735 And he'll report 231 00:10:04,736 --> 00:10:06,570 to the kitchen immediately. 232 00:10:06,571 --> 00:10:07,705 Good. 233 00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:09,640 [♪] 234 00:10:15,847 --> 00:10:18,248 Thanks for getting me assigned as your assistant. 235 00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:21,319 There's nothing I'd rather do more than pit dates. 236 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,086 Well, men? Roger... 237 00:10:23,087 --> 00:10:24,488 How are we doing? 238 00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:26,990 Well, I've never had so many dates in my life. Ha-ha-ha! 239 00:10:29,945 --> 00:10:32,846 Well, ahem, that's the last one we needed. 240 00:10:32,847 --> 00:10:34,382 What do we do with these now? 241 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,117 Throw 'em away. 242 00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:37,451 We use the pits. 243 00:10:40,672 --> 00:10:42,172 We can use the pits? 244 00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:46,644 [GRUNTS] 245 00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:49,113 [PANTING] I can't keep this up much longer. 246 00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:51,215 My back is breaking. 247 00:10:51,216 --> 00:10:54,284 Oh, don't worry. I'll relieve you in another five minutes. 248 00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:57,054 [LAUGHING] Oh. 249 00:10:57,055 --> 00:10:58,288 Good evening, master. 250 00:10:58,289 --> 00:11:00,424 How is the...? The little old candy maker? 251 00:11:00,425 --> 00:11:01,792 Oh, just great. 252 00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:03,394 Your mother can certainly figure out 253 00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:04,395 some wild recipes. 254 00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:05,496 [LAUGHING] I tell you... 255 00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:07,197 Oh, boy, I... W-what's the matter? 256 00:11:07,198 --> 00:11:08,966 Oh, it's my back. It's breaking. 257 00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:11,602 Oh, let me help you, master. Oh. 258 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,206 What is that? I don't know, 259 00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:18,676 it's not in the recipe. BELLOWS: Thank you. 260 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,879 Jeannie, get out. Oh, yes, master, I am going. 261 00:11:24,082 --> 00:11:26,183 You forgot the burro. 262 00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:28,051 Jeannie? 263 00:11:28,052 --> 00:11:31,121 A burro. What's that burro doing in here? 264 00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:34,425 Well, sir, the recipe called for a burro to, uh, stir this mess, 265 00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,993 so naturally, I got a burro. 266 00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:37,928 This laboratory is supposed to be 267 00:11:37,929 --> 00:11:39,697 completely sterile and antiseptic. 268 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,198 Now you get this beast outta here. 269 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,700 I can't get him outta here, sir. 270 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,502 What seems to be the problem, major? 271 00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,504 Oh, a donkey. 272 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,939 Oh, I... I-I'm sorry about this, colonel, 273 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,741 but, um, uh, Major Nelson insists 274 00:11:50,742 --> 00:11:53,477 that the pipchick mixture be stirred by this burro. 275 00:11:53,478 --> 00:11:55,212 I just insisted that they get rid of it. 276 00:11:55,213 --> 00:11:56,514 Negative. 277 00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:58,849 If Nelson says it's to be stirred by a burro, 278 00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,518 it's to be stirred by a burro. 279 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:03,353 Look, I, uh, oh, uh, eh, yes. 280 00:12:03,354 --> 00:12:04,354 Uh... 281 00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:05,823 Ooh. 282 00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:09,393 I'd prefer we test it on something else. May... 283 00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:11,562 [PHONE RINGS] Oh, excuse me. 284 00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:16,000 Yes? Oh, hello, Amanda. 285 00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,334 What? 286 00:12:17,335 --> 00:12:19,503 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 287 00:12:19,504 --> 00:12:20,504 Uh... 288 00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:21,939 The cat fell in the what? 289 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:24,107 Please, eh, sir, I'd rather we test it on a dog, or... 290 00:12:24,108 --> 00:12:27,144 Well, I don't care what kind of detergent you're using. 291 00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:30,213 No, no, no. Cats don't shrink. 292 00:12:30,214 --> 00:12:32,416 They only look shrunk when they're wet. 293 00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:34,184 Sir, couldn't we test it on something...? 294 00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:35,486 Major, will you stop this? 295 00:12:35,487 --> 00:12:37,922 This is embarrassing and personal. I know, but I... 296 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,190 I'll eat the pipchicks when I'm ready, 297 00:12:40,191 --> 00:12:41,358 in my own good time. 298 00:12:41,359 --> 00:12:42,927 Now would you mind leaving, please? 299 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,929 Yes, of course. What? 300 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,096 No. 301 00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:49,299 [CHUCKLING] No, no, no. 302 00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,921 Colonel Finch? 303 00:12:53,922 --> 00:12:57,157 Ah, colonel, I've just delivered the pipchicks to Dr. Bellows. 304 00:12:57,158 --> 00:12:58,626 Colonel? 305 00:12:58,627 --> 00:13:00,561 FINCH: Tony. 306 00:13:04,399 --> 00:13:08,135 You can call me Abigail. 307 00:13:08,136 --> 00:13:10,070 [♪] 308 00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,159 Are...? A-are you...? Are you feeling all right? 309 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,378 Never felt better. 310 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,380 ♪ Boo-boo-pee-doo ♪ 311 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,581 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 312 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,649 You... You... You ate one of the pipchicks, right? 313 00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:25,119 Nectar and ambrosia. Oh. 314 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,489 Let's you and I tango the night away, baby. 315 00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,357 Oh, I think maybe you ought to lie down. 316 00:13:30,358 --> 00:13:32,059 Don't wanna lie down. 317 00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:34,828 Wanna dance, wanna sing, wanna live. 318 00:13:34,829 --> 00:13:37,098 Colonel, remember, you're a colonel. 319 00:13:37,099 --> 00:13:39,100 Look, why don't you lie down, and I'll go get. 320 00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:40,234 Dr. Bellows, huh? 321 00:13:41,169 --> 00:13:42,736 Can't catch me. 322 00:13:42,737 --> 00:13:44,205 I'm a butterfly. 323 00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,873 Now... Now wait a minute, please. 324 00:13:46,874 --> 00:13:48,976 Would you just control yourself, please? 325 00:13:48,977 --> 00:13:50,528 Kiss me, major. 326 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:52,913 That's a butterfly giving you an order. 327 00:13:52,914 --> 00:13:54,081 [STAMMERING] 328 00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:55,515 Kiss me. Tony. 329 00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:57,484 Look, about this candy report I did... 330 00:13:57,485 --> 00:14:00,170 Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean to butt in. 331 00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:02,406 Roger, will you come back here? It's Colonel Finch. 332 00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:05,209 Col... Tony, you shouldn't be doing that. 333 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,243 She outranks you. 334 00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:07,879 Oh, so nice. I'm sorry. Please. 335 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,763 Give me those lips. Please, take it easy. 336 00:14:09,764 --> 00:14:11,933 My back. Give me those lips. Kiss me. 337 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,617 Yeah. Tony. 338 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,254 She also outweighs me. Would you give me a hand? 339 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,622 Miss...? Thank you, ma'am. 340 00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:19,757 That's right. 341 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,026 That's right, men. Dominate me! 342 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,495 I've always wanted to be dominated! 343 00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:25,696 Oh, what happened to her? 344 00:14:25,697 --> 00:14:27,098 She... What happened to her? 345 00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:29,400 She ate one of pipchicks, that's what happened to her. 346 00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:31,168 She had some kind of a wild reaction. 347 00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:32,370 Now you hang onto her. 348 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,605 I'll get Dr. Bellows. Excuse me, ma... 349 00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:35,873 Dr. Bellows. 350 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:37,308 I gave Dr. Bellows a pipchick. 351 00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,377 I gave Dr. Bellows a pipchick! 352 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,611 No! 353 00:14:50,455 --> 00:14:52,689 Major. Oh. 354 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:55,225 Major, I never realized 355 00:14:55,226 --> 00:14:59,513 what beautiful blue butterfly eyes you have. 356 00:14:59,514 --> 00:15:03,767 Major. Major. Major. Please. We're both officers. 357 00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:05,636 Oh. Hi. 358 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:09,440 BELLOWS: ♪ Way, hey ♪ 359 00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,608 ♪ Blow the man down ♪ 360 00:15:11,609 --> 00:15:13,277 Ahoy, there. 361 00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:15,346 Come aboard, major. Ha-ha-ha. 362 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,281 Come outta the water. I beg your pardon? 363 00:15:17,282 --> 00:15:18,782 The water. Oh! 364 00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:22,586 Did you eat the pipchicks, sir? 365 00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:23,971 I certainly did. 366 00:15:23,972 --> 00:15:27,124 Salt air gives you a marvelous appetite. 367 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:30,127 Ready to come about. 368 00:15:31,396 --> 00:15:33,030 Come aboard. 369 00:15:33,031 --> 00:15:34,999 Look out for the boom, major. 370 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,199 The what, sir? 371 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,802 The boom! Oh. 372 00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:40,437 Oh, right, right. 373 00:15:40,438 --> 00:15:43,274 Ah, sir, I... I really think you ought to come with me. 374 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,359 Come with you? What for? 375 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,963 I'm finally doing something I've always wanted to do. 376 00:15:49,964 --> 00:15:52,600 Sailing a whaler to Alaska. 377 00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:57,170 Mmm. 378 00:15:57,171 --> 00:15:59,640 Looks like a sou'easter's 379 00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:02,376 blowing up outta the nor'west. 380 00:16:02,377 --> 00:16:05,045 Ah, you gotta watch out for them sou'easters. 381 00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:06,246 Perhaps we ought to go below 382 00:16:06,247 --> 00:16:07,948 and put on our foul-weather gear, sir. 383 00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:09,383 Too late for that. 384 00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:11,252 Lower the lifeboat. 385 00:16:11,253 --> 00:16:13,087 [LAUGHING] The what? 386 00:16:13,088 --> 00:16:15,656 The lifeboats, the lifeboats. Oh. 387 00:16:17,926 --> 00:16:19,860 [SINGING INDISTINCTLY] 388 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,007 ♪ A-roving, a-roving ♪ 389 00:16:34,008 --> 00:16:36,610 ♪ Since roving's been My ruin ♪ 390 00:16:36,611 --> 00:16:42,033 ♪ I'll never go a-roving With you, fair maid ♪ 391 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,951 ♪ A-roving, a-roving ♪ 392 00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:46,386 ♪ Since roving's been My ruin ♪ 393 00:16:46,387 --> 00:16:52,059 ♪ I'll never go a-roving With you, fair maid ♪ 394 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,727 Welcome aboard, commodore. 395 00:16:53,728 --> 00:16:56,430 [WHISTLES] 396 00:16:56,431 --> 00:16:58,632 Ahoy, there! 397 00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:00,233 ♪ When I was... ♪ 398 00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:04,605 [SINGING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 399 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,740 Listen, I found out what these pipchicks do to you. 400 00:17:06,741 --> 00:17:08,408 They release your inhibitions. 401 00:17:08,409 --> 00:17:10,210 They... They turn you on to whatever you are 402 00:17:10,211 --> 00:17:12,212 really deep down inside. 403 00:17:12,213 --> 00:17:14,782 Look at... Look at Colonel Finch, she wants to be a butterfly. 404 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,784 That's what she is. She's a butterfly. 405 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,586 A-and Dr. Bellows. 406 00:17:18,587 --> 00:17:20,253 He wants to be a sailor hunting whales. 407 00:17:20,254 --> 00:17:23,557 You understand? You're sloppy, soldier. 408 00:17:23,558 --> 00:17:26,793 The one thing I can't stand 409 00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:28,379 is a sloppy soldier. 410 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,898 You should read the Air Force manual more often. 411 00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:33,868 35-M. 412 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,936 Roger, did you eat one of those pipchicks? 413 00:17:35,937 --> 00:17:37,805 Positive. 414 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,790 Proper diet is crucial to an officer's efficiency. 415 00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,959 Regulation 94R21. 416 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,760 Are there any more of those things left? 417 00:17:43,761 --> 00:17:45,329 You didn't eat all of them, did you? 418 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,897 You didn't eat all of these, did you? 419 00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:49,500 Negative. Sent to General Peterson's office for dispersal. 420 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,368 All superior officers should be informed 421 00:17:51,369 --> 00:17:52,769 on completions of new projects. 422 00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:55,706 Regulation 94-21. [METALLIC CLATTERING] 423 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,142 You sent 'em to General Peterson? 424 00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,063 You sent 'em to General Peterson?! 425 00:18:01,195 --> 00:18:03,864 Jeannie. Jeannie. No, that's too slow. 426 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,633 Jeannie. Jeannie. 427 00:18:05,634 --> 00:18:07,701 Jeannie. Argh! 428 00:18:07,702 --> 00:18:10,004 I am here, master. Are your pipchicks finished? 429 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,972 Are they finished? I'm finished. 430 00:18:11,973 --> 00:18:13,240 Look. 431 00:18:13,241 --> 00:18:14,674 No dancing. [BELLOWS SINGING] 432 00:18:14,675 --> 00:18:16,777 The regulations book says no dancing. 433 00:18:17,878 --> 00:18:19,213 Oh, dear. Yeah. 434 00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:21,515 What went wrong? I'll tell you what went wrong. 435 00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:24,084 Your mother, that's what... She did this deliberately. 436 00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:26,320 W-would you please blink them outta that? 437 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:28,855 Oh, of course, master. Heh-heh. 438 00:18:28,856 --> 00:18:29,856 [MAGIC BOINGS] 439 00:18:29,857 --> 00:18:31,425 Well, go ahead. 440 00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:34,394 [BELLOWS SINGING INDISTINCTLY] 441 00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:36,147 Salute. Always salute when rowing. 442 00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,032 ROGER: Sir, you're out of uniform. I said... 443 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,033 Oh, dear. 444 00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:41,068 "Oh, dear"? 445 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,203 Listen. You go back to your mother 446 00:18:43,204 --> 00:18:44,872 and you ask her what this is all about. 447 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,274 You find out what this is, and you get an antidote. 448 00:18:47,275 --> 00:18:48,742 I've gotta go to General Peterson 449 00:18:48,743 --> 00:18:50,477 before this whole base goes berserk. 450 00:18:50,478 --> 00:18:52,198 Yes, master. Yeah. 451 00:18:53,147 --> 00:18:57,051 And furthermore, you tell your mother... Oh. 452 00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,619 You mean, you ate one of those things 453 00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,087 and nothing happened? 454 00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:02,723 Why, of course not, except I never felt better in my life. 455 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,192 Why, you've done a marvelous job, major. 456 00:19:05,193 --> 00:19:07,394 Oh. Thank you, sir. Thank you. 457 00:19:07,395 --> 00:19:09,096 Uh, what'd you do with the rest of them? 458 00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:10,363 I sent a dozen to Washington, 459 00:19:10,364 --> 00:19:11,932 the president, the vice president. 460 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:14,668 The joint chiefs of staff would be most interested. 461 00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:18,171 How did you send them, sir? 462 00:19:18,172 --> 00:19:19,940 By the regular NASA mailbox. 463 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,208 What's the matter with you? 464 00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:23,310 You look as if you're about to collapse. 465 00:19:23,311 --> 00:19:25,946 Sir, those pipchicks have a very strange side effect. 466 00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:28,281 People's inner personality come to the surface. 467 00:19:28,282 --> 00:19:31,018 Well, that ridiculous. They haven't done anything to me. 468 00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:34,054 I have Colonel Bellows, Colonel Finch and Roger Healey 469 00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:35,723 locked up in the laboratory right now. 470 00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:38,092 If the inner personalities of the people in Washington 471 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,094 come to the surface... 472 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,528 Good heavens. 473 00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:44,098 Get to the NASA mailbox, major. I'll try to stop it from here. 474 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,133 Right, sir. I-I'm glad to see they didn't have 475 00:19:46,134 --> 00:19:47,134 any effect on you. 476 00:19:47,135 --> 00:19:49,369 I'm all right. Good, good. 477 00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:54,808 Oh, hi. Tony. 478 00:19:54,809 --> 00:19:56,010 PETERSON: Charge! 479 00:19:56,011 --> 00:19:57,778 Indians. Indians all over the place. 480 00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,379 We gotta protect the fort. 481 00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:01,314 That way, paleface. Oh. 482 00:20:02,651 --> 00:20:05,385 Charge! Get those Indians. 483 00:20:05,386 --> 00:20:08,455 General, general. Here, this way, sir. 484 00:20:08,456 --> 00:20:11,158 Sitting Bull, I'm gonna get you for what you did to Custer. 485 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:14,061 ♪ A-roving, a-roving ♪ 486 00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:15,729 General, this way, sir. 487 00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:17,631 Sitting Bull's right in there, sir. 488 00:20:17,632 --> 00:20:19,733 [SCREAMS] 489 00:20:19,734 --> 00:20:22,969 [BUGLE CALL PLAYS] 490 00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:25,272 Mailbox. Mailbox. 491 00:20:27,158 --> 00:20:28,442 [WHIMPERING] 492 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:32,646 Oh! Hello, master. 493 00:20:32,647 --> 00:20:35,782 What has happened? Oh, nothing much, Jeannie. 494 00:20:35,783 --> 00:20:38,017 Let's see: Uh, Colonel Finch is a butterfly, 495 00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:39,953 Colonel Bellows is out hunting Moby Dick, 496 00:20:39,954 --> 00:20:41,988 General Peterson is trying to revenge Custer, 497 00:20:41,989 --> 00:20:44,458 and our swinger friend Roger is Captain Bligh. 498 00:20:44,459 --> 00:20:46,460 How's your mother? Oh, she's just fine. 499 00:20:46,461 --> 00:20:48,328 Thank you, master. Heh, heh. Right, yeah. 500 00:20:48,329 --> 00:20:51,097 But I am afraid she gave you the wrong recipe. 501 00:20:51,098 --> 00:20:53,567 No kidding, yeah. Listen, there's a parcel of pipchicks 502 00:20:53,568 --> 00:20:55,635 on its way to the Pentagon. Pick it out of there. 503 00:20:55,636 --> 00:20:58,872 Oh, that is easy, master. No, not here, not here. 504 00:20:59,574 --> 00:21:02,275 Well. Hi. 505 00:21:04,746 --> 00:21:07,213 Jeannie? Jeannie. 506 00:21:07,214 --> 00:21:09,883 Look, there's no time to play games. Where are you, anyhow? 507 00:21:09,884 --> 00:21:12,118 I am here, master. In the mailbox. 508 00:21:12,503 --> 00:21:13,587 [GROANS] 509 00:21:13,588 --> 00:21:14,621 Look, find the package. 510 00:21:14,622 --> 00:21:15,902 Get the package. The parcel. 511 00:21:17,091 --> 00:21:18,725 Yes, master. 512 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:23,847 Oh! 513 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,818 No, no. Not... Not letters. Not letters. 514 00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:29,320 The package. The parcel. 515 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:32,255 Yes, master. I am looking. I am looking. 516 00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:36,827 You will have to take some of these, master. 517 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:39,162 I cannot see what I am doing. 518 00:21:39,697 --> 00:21:40,714 [GRUNTS] 519 00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:43,751 Oh. 520 00:21:43,752 --> 00:21:45,619 Here it is, master. 521 00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:48,555 Oh, it is all smashed. 522 00:21:48,556 --> 00:21:50,307 Well, blink it out. 523 00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:52,258 Oh, I could not do that, master. 524 00:21:52,259 --> 00:21:54,540 After all, it is Mama's magic. 525 00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:58,298 All right, well, then hand 'em up one at a time. 526 00:21:58,299 --> 00:22:00,968 Oh, master. I told Mama you were 527 00:22:00,969 --> 00:22:03,236 the most intelligent astronaut of the whole group. 528 00:22:03,237 --> 00:22:05,839 She did not believe me, but I will convince her some day. 529 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,408 Jeannie, will you? 530 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,493 Oh, yes, master. Right away, right away. 531 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,112 Look, uh, I haven't got all day. Will you hurry it up, please? 532 00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:14,081 Hi. How are you? 533 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,582 No... Yes, as a matter of fact. 534 00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,951 You know, I've always admired you mailmen. 535 00:22:17,952 --> 00:22:19,987 Through sleet and snow, hail and rain, 536 00:22:19,988 --> 00:22:21,889 the mail must meet its appointed rounds. 537 00:22:21,890 --> 00:22:24,191 And there... Excuse me, I'm a little late. 538 00:22:24,192 --> 00:22:25,558 Relax, take it easy. 539 00:22:25,559 --> 00:22:27,360 You're in the service, I'm in the service. 540 00:22:27,361 --> 00:22:29,696 Maybe we chew the fat, learn how each other operates. 541 00:22:29,697 --> 00:22:31,999 Major, you're interfering with U.S. mails. 542 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,400 [LAUGHS] Of course not. 543 00:22:33,401 --> 00:22:35,169 I use the U.S. mails all the time, watch. 544 00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:37,171 I'll show you how easy it is. 545 00:22:37,172 --> 00:22:38,972 JEANNIE: Master. 546 00:22:38,973 --> 00:22:40,507 There someone in there? 547 00:22:40,508 --> 00:22:41,809 [LAUGHING] No, of course not. 548 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:44,644 You can't go around mailing people. 549 00:22:44,645 --> 00:22:46,680 Oh, sorry. 550 00:22:46,681 --> 00:22:48,916 Jeannie, will you hurry it up? Will...? Oh. 551 00:22:48,917 --> 00:22:50,350 [♪] 552 00:22:50,351 --> 00:22:51,919 [COUGHING] Major. 553 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,087 Are you all right, major? Major? 554 00:22:54,088 --> 00:22:57,408 [HOARSELY] I'm all right. Thanks. Thanks. 555 00:23:03,597 --> 00:23:05,465 What's going on here? 556 00:23:05,466 --> 00:23:06,766 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 557 00:23:06,767 --> 00:23:09,569 Let us out. Let us out. Somebody unlock the door. 558 00:23:09,570 --> 00:23:11,538 I still don't know what I'm doing in here. 559 00:23:11,539 --> 00:23:13,707 I don't even know how we got here in the first place. 560 00:23:13,708 --> 00:23:15,309 We... We must have been attacked. 561 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,744 I can't think of any other reason I'd be out of uniform. 562 00:23:17,745 --> 00:23:20,647 Last thing I remember, Major Nelson came into my office. 563 00:23:20,648 --> 00:23:23,650 Of course. Major Nelson. 564 00:23:23,651 --> 00:23:25,736 He'd have an explanation, sir. He always does. 565 00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,453 [ALL SCREAMING] 566 00:23:31,526 --> 00:23:33,994 Don't anybody panic. Major Nelson. 567 00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,261 Don't anybody panic. 568 00:23:35,262 --> 00:23:38,031 Ladder Company Number 69 to the rescue. 569 00:23:38,032 --> 00:23:41,034 [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 570 00:23:41,035 --> 00:23:42,969 [♪] 571 00:23:50,261 --> 00:23:52,195 [♪] 40421

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