All language subtitles for The.Goldbergs.S10E19.Flowers for Barry.en

Back in the '80s, my mom
hit the dating scene.

- The lucky guy was Joe Perott.
- Wow.

And what started as a workplace
friendship quickly led to more.

I made you a mixtape.

At first, my mom had no
idea what was happening.

- Joe, are we on a date?
- You didn't know?

Before long, she realized
she liked him back.

- You have a crush.
- I have a crush.

And, soon, it was heating up.

But that didn't mean
she was playing it cool.

Okay, I'm deciding which sweater
to wear on my date with Joe.

Does this say romance to you?

It says "Run, I'm a dork."

Poo! Ben, what do you think?

You got a brown
sweater. I like brown.

Well, I don't like brown.

But I don't hate brown neither.

Very helpful. Adam?

Mr. Perott's great.

He once pulled me aside on
the playground to explain

I was confusing the words
"dunking" and "boinking."

- There's a difference?
- A big one.

And it's that very knowledge that
makes me want to have no part of this.

Who in their right mind would?

Okay, so, I sorted these
by color and word count.

But I'm still partial
to this number

with the fun little
forest scene.

The muskrats are holding hands.

What the hell are
you doing, dude?

Oh, I'm the wardrobe consultant.

I see that. Take it off.

If you want it to
go well, just...

I know, just be myself.

Sure, that. But also,
be a less pushy,

overbearing version of yourself.

Like, for example, anybody else.

Stop worrying. Joe
is obsessed with me.

Listen to this.

Hi, Bev. I found an old
box in my office labeled

"Adam Goldberg backup pants."

Should I bring them
by when I pick you up?

God, I hope this
relationship fails.

You all hear the desire in his
voice when he said, "backup pants"?

- I really don't.
- Well, listen again.

"Adam Goldberg backup pants."

Oh! Stop!

Carmen's gonna be
here any second!

This is not the kind of
thing she needs to hear.

- He wants a taste, baby girl.
- "Backup pants."

Enough!

Anyway, I had to move
up the reservation,

so I'll see you at 6:00.

Six? That's now!

You didn't listen to
the whole message?

No, I just kept
replaying the sexy part

where he said "backup pants."-

Oh, great, he's here.

You need to change.
Geoff, find anything.

Uh, okay.

Oh, no! Carmen is here, too.

And he has the pants!

Geoff, sweaters! Go! Go! Go!

There's a note pinned
to them that says

"In case Adam Goldberg
has an emergency"!

Okay, everybody stop panicking.

The man has a hunger,

a hunger for a
steaming plate of Bev.

Now Carmen's
examining the pants!

And he's explaining them!

Just put anything on!

Her face is a horror
show of emotions!

I need to do something!

"Slam Boink." You did it.

I don't hate brown anymore.

♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

♪ But nonetheless I
feel the need to say ♪

♪ I don't know the future ♪

♪ But the past keeps
Getting clearer every day ♪

It was April 12th,
1980-something,

and like always, my
brother was running hot.

Hey, hon. How's it going?

Good, if it was opposite day.

I have two finals Friday.

The landlord wants more rent,

even though we just
paid 30 days ago.

And you know that
hotshot pigeon?

He's been on the windowsill
mocking me all day!

So, happy anniversary!

Anniversary. Right.

- Barry, did you forget?
- No!

My gift was hidden far
away. I'll be back.

Yeah, it turns out Barry's
day wasn't getting any easier.

- Be back!
- Okay.

Good thing he knew just where
to get a last-minute gift

that would fix everything,

our neighbor, Virginia Kremp.

Stop what you're doing!

I'll need a dozen roses
for my bedroom associate.

Ah, Joanne.

I remember that morning
years ago at the park

when Lou looked
away from the swing,

how far she flew.

And now she loves you.

Anyhoo! Charles is away
at a hydrangea convention.

And since I'm the only one
here, you're gonna have to wait.

Fine, I'll do it myself.

Argh! Thorns!

- More thorns!
- Stop!

Satan's hearth,

why is your body giving
off so much heat?

I run hot when I'm stressed out.

The doctor says it's because
I gestated for 50 weeks.

We need to cool you
off. Come with me.

This is nice.

Yeah, I spent two days in there
during the heat wave of '73.

I bet it'd be nice
to be a flower.

Hmm. Why is that?

Well, flowers don't worry
about med school, rent,

or forgetting to get a gift
for their Sweet Drawers.

That's Joanne. I gathered.

She also calls me Sweet Drawers.

Well, you're not creative,
but you like each other.

You know, whenever I'm
feeling overwhelmed,

I find it helps to focus
on one task at a time.

Let's start with Joanne.

How would you like
to learn how to make

your very own
arrangement for her?

Deal!

With that, Ginzy quickly saved
my brother's anniversary.

Meanwhile, my mom
and Mr. Perott

were on their first real date,

which was off to a slow start.

Big menu, huh?

It is, yeah.

Despite their history
of flirtation,

my mom and Mr. Perott

had already run out
of things to say.

The bathroom stalls were,
like, super big, too.

Oh.

And the... The seats
were comfy, good height.

Uh-huh.

Yep, she was really
digging deep for anything.

Were the men's room
seats a good height?

I haven't, uh, sat yet.

Maybe before dessert.

That's when my dead
husband liked to... sit.

Hmm.

It was a total train wreck.

So it was no surprise
when she did this.

Oh, the vegetarian
options look tasty, huh?

I am totally a vegetarian, too!

Oh? 'Cause at the
holiday party,

you made a gingerbread house

out of ground duck
and beef liver.

That's because that's what I
was assigned for the potluck.

You know, more like pot unlucky.

I cried the whole time.

No, but you ate
the whole chimney.

And then I secretly spit it
into Principal Ball's briefcase.

- Really?
- Yeah.

See, as a vegetarian,

I know I'm better
than the flesh eaters,

but I never want to make
them feel bad about it.

That's amazing.

- Mmm-hmm.
- I had no idea.

What do you think
about television?

'Cause I don't even own one.

I got rid of ours
a long time ago.

Books are so much better.

I love books.

Books! With the,
uh, words and pages

and little numbers in the
corners that go up, up, up.

So what's your favorite
book you've recently read?

All the greats.

The bigs ones and the thin
ones and the ones in between.

I'm not gonna bore
you with the details.

What's your favorite?

The Unbearable
Lightness of Being.

Mine, too!

- Yeah?
- The lightness.

- Sure.
- The being.

- Phew!
- And how unbearable it all is.

Wow, that's great.

- So, so good.
- Do you like to go hiking?

Yesterday...

I was reading one
of my many books,

eating a vegetable on
the top of a mountain.

So, yeah, I love it.

- Holy crap.
- Yeah.

- We have so much in common.
- Well, you know what?

I bet if you keep telling
me things that you like,

I probably like 'em, too.

Sure, it was fueled by lies,

but my mom could finally relax.

Barry also found an unexpected
way to relieve some stress.

Joanne loved the flowers!

I finally understand
why my mother says

you're her number-three friend.

What a fun thing
to say to someone.

Also, I was honest with Joanne,

like you said I should be,

and she was completely
understanding.

I knew it.

And the stress rash?

Gone!

Let me pop off these jeans

and show you in your
place of business.

No, I'll take your word for it.

How could I ever thank you

in a way that doesn't
include money or effort?

I'll tell you what, Barry.

You can repay me by working
here until Charles gets back.

I can offer you minimum wage.

I'll counter with maximum wage.

- No.
- I'll take it.

With that, Barry got to work.

And in addition to minimum wage,

he also got valuable advice.

Schools, relationships,
growing up.

Sometimes it's just too much.

Mmm! Well, here's one
way to look at it.

In every beautiful arrangement,
the flowers work in harmony.

It's all about
balance, just like...

- A scale.
- No.

- A dreidel.
- Getting colder.

A balance beam.

Think of what we were
just talking about.

- Life.
- That's it!

Yep, Mrs. Kremp was having

a real positive effect on Barry.

And it showed in
all sorts of ways.

You okay?

Just thinking about
how lucky I am

that you came into my life.

Can I brush your hair tonight

instead of you brushing mine?

Aw! Of course, Bar-Bar.

Working with flowers
had made Barry bloom.

- Just because.
- Just because what?

Just because you're my brother

and as unique as
this desert flower.

I don't say that enough.

Thanks to Ginzy, Barry even
got less stressed about school.

Whoa, that's the first test

you didn't get an
"A" on in a while.

That's okay.

Hopefully, I'll do
better next time.

It looked like Barry
was a changed man.

That is, until this happened.

Your favorite person is here!

Oh, Barry, I have great news.

- Charles is back.
- Hello, Barry!

As Barry was crashing
back down to earth,

my sister realized my mom had
gotten a bit carried away.

Hey, what are you guys doing?

Studying up for my
next date with Joe.

- This is...
- A dove.

- A pelican.
- Ah, yes! I'm getting closer.

Um, why?

Joe thinks I'm a book-reading,
bird-watching vegetarian,

among other things.

Geoff, go.

Animal Farm was written by...

- A man.
- George Orwell.

Oh. Well, I was half right.

Why would anyone think that
you're an outdoorsy leaf-eater?

Because I told a few fibs to
get our last date clicking.

You can't lie about who you are.

You're the one that told
me I needed to be less me.

Yeah, less you,
but not more him!

- This is...
- An emu.

A blue jay.

And now I know.

This is a terrible idea.

Why are you two helping her?

She's gonna tell Mr. Perott
to give us a ride

on the back of his motorcycle.

I'm gonna feel the power of a
thousand horses between my legs.

Please never say that again.

I don't want to ride.

But I'll climb on and
have Geoff take a picture.

Then, I'll tell Carmen I took
the sled down to Sturgis.

Lying's okay because Mom
does it all the time now.

Bup! Oh! I'm gonna be late.

Gotta meet Joe at the
meditation studio.

Meditation?

You understand that does
require you to be silent?

I like to find inner peace
before a long hike...

Is something Joe said, then
I said it, then he smiled.

Oh, dating is so easy.

But my mom soon found out

it wasn't as easy
as she thought.

Is this not glorious, or what?

Yes.

I, too, like to make myself
uncomfortable for fun.

Turns out, pretending
to like stuff Joe liked

was a tough pill to swallow.

Can you believe this
tofu isn't meat?

Mmm, so mushy.

Yep, my mom was in deep.

The piping plover,

gifting us with her presence.

Majestic.

Yeah, birds.

We don't eat 'em,
we look at 'em.

But when a few tiny lies

turned into a dizzying
web of deception,

my mom lost all her momentum.

Oh, Bev! You gotta
see the view up here!

Almost there! Here I come!

I'm glad I put on
makeup for this.

Oh!

Ah! Oh!

With Mr. Kremp
back at the shop,

things were suddenly
a bit crowded.

At least to Barry, they were.

Am I in your way?

Yes, Charles, you are.

Ah, thanks for understanding.

Um, hello, boys.

Hi, Ginzerale!

"Ginzerale" is one my
nicknames for your wife.

It's adorable!
Can I use it, too?

- No.
- Okay.

Ginzerale, can I talk to
you about a private matter?

Over the last few days, your
wife and I have developed

a mutual trust
and understanding.

- Super.
- Charles, why don't you

go take five in
the floral fridge,

or possibly Cincinnati?

Barry! Come here!

You're being rude!

I'm sorry. But I'm
still stressed out,

and now Charles is here getting
in the way of my progress.

I have given you all
the tools you need

to manage this on your own.

You just don't know it yet.

- But...
- Finger your pocket orchid.

Mmm-hmm.

How's it feel?

Like there's beauty
all around me?

You just...

Have to look for it.

And when you find it...

My troubles become
bubbles and float away.

See? Much better.

Now, I'm gonna need you to
deliver some flowers for me.

But we can't have our
one-on-one life talks

if I'm out delivering.

Why can't Charles do it?

Because Charles is my husband.

And you are my friend's son
who once dug a 10-foot pit

in my yard to build a
"one-man pool." Now, scooch.

While Barry didn't like
the new turn his job took,

my mom's job of
pretending to like stuff

had taken a serious toll.

So, how's the dating life?

Oh, so good.

Joe and I are so connected.

Oh, my God, the pain!

Hiking sucks.

We might be soulmates.

Adam, you want to
help me with this?

I'm a "slow down to watch
the car crash" kind of guy.

I like where this is headed.

There will be no crash, Schmoo,

- because I have a plan.
- Hmm. This should be good.

See, after I fell
down the mountain,

we cut our hike short.

So all I need to do is
repeatedly fall down on purpose

for the next few years,

until he gives up
being a boring person

with boring hobbies
and a boring face.

Well, your relationship
certainly sounds healthy,

and it's totally gonna work out.

Check me out.
I'm all geared up

to ride Mr. Perott's hog.

So much to process.

Uh, I guess, first, is
that my leather jacket?

Yeah, and the gloves are
my mom's pruning gloves.

Bad boys borrow without asking.

Wait. Joe's coming over now?

Yeah, he called earlier to say he's
bringing his famous kelp casserole.

He can't see how we live!

He thinks we're adherents
to his freakish lifestyle.

Wait, we have to play
a part in this charade?

Of course! One of the
biggest lies I told is that

I instilled in my children
a set of positive values.

Now, hide all the meat! -

And get rid of the six TVs!

Come on! Move!

You are good and
decent vegetarians now!

So my mom had us pretend we
were something we weren't.

And somehow, we were
getting away with it.

Joe, this kelp
casserole was divine.

What is your secret?

The secret is no salt or spices.

Just kelp baked
in its own juices.

- Huh.
- Very kelp-y.

You can really taste the ocean.

The no salt is really
coming through.

Hey, Bev, can I
ask you a question?

Sure, Joe. What is it?

Why do you have a
TV in the bathtub?

It's our neighbors'.

Uh, we wash it for them.

Also, when I hung my
jacket in the closet,

I noticed a spiral
ham in a rain boot.

Huh.

And, lastly, on the
floor under the table,

it's covered with
kelp casserole.

Am I to assume
that no one ate it?

In our defense...

Ugh.

I may have exaggerated
a bit about, you know,

who I am as a person.

But why?

I just wanted this to go well.

Bev, I like you
for you, I promise.

So going forward, you
know, just be yourself.

- Okay?
- Okay. Thanks, Joe.

Now I should go.

I'm already late for
my origami class.

- See you soon.
- Aw.

Aw.

See, you did all that
lying for nothing.

Mmm-hmm. Quick question.

How do you break
up with someone?

While my mom was having
a change of heart,

Barry was about to
let Mrs. Kremp know

of a change in plans.

Hi, Barry.

- Where's Charles?
- Delaware.

Now, pull up a stool,
and let's open up

to each other about
things we fear.

- Delaware?
- Yeah, I sent him out for a delivery.

- What?
- Now, no one else knows this,

but I am terrified of
being too successful.

Will my future fame and riches

intimidate my very
average friends?

Barry, I'm sorry.

- You're fired.
- What?

I'll need your pruning
shears and bouquet tape.

- But...
- This is just the way it has to be.

Why is this so sticky?

I spilled three
separate Slurpees.

Ugh.

Just like that, Barry
was out of a job.

Meanwhile, my mom was learning

how to get out of
a relationship.

Mom, this is exactly
what dating is all about.

You get to know each other,

and if you don't like
something you find out,

boom, trash heap.

I've just yo-yo'd
him so many times.

I feel terrible.

Why do I have to be so
charming and irresistible?

How does all this affect
my motorcycle ride?

I may have already
bought biker's insurance.

If you don't want to hurt his
feelings, just lie to the guy.

She's done enough lying.

Exactly. So would
one more hurt?

Ben, share your wisdom.

I once dated a girl in the Army.

I told her my heart
couldn't take it

if she was called to war,

so I had no choice
but to end it.

That is brilliant.

But in this case, it backfired.

She wasn't in the U.S. Army.

She was in the Salvation Army.

Great advice, Pop-Pop.

Anyway, we got married, we
had Murray and some other kid,

and 10 years later, she left me.

Thank you, Ben.

I know just what I need to do.

And so, my mom
pulled out this card.

My faith is very
important to me.

So, since we have
different religions,

different cultures...

we have to end it.

I'm sorry.

Beverly, I'm a member
of the tribe, too.

Shalom!

- Hebrew-what-now?
- I observe all the high holy days.

I go to temple regularly.

I play racquetball
with my cantor.

Right.

Which is what I don't do.

What?

See, it's very important for me

to celebrate my faith

in a very low-grade,
noncommittal-type way.

Hold on a second.

I come from a long line
of extremely breezy,

unserious people.

Okay.

You obviously don't
want to date me,

but you're afraid
to just say it.

Huh?

Fine.

I don't think this
is gonna work out.

I'm sorry, Joe.

Me, too.

I'll see you around, Bev.

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Barry had lost his job
at the flower shop.

But as far as Joanne and I knew,

everything was still rosy.

Surprise!

- What?
- Adam and I were talking

about how sweet
you've been lately.

I didn't get it at first.

I thought the cactus
had a camera in it

and you wanted to catch
me doing something weird,

like giving my ALF
doll a back massage.

No examples needed, Adam.

It's just for practice.

Carmen likes to have
her shoulders rubbed,

and with that responsibility
comes pressure.

Anyway, we just
wanted to show you

how much we appreciate
the kinder, gentler Barry,

so we got you...

a new hockey stick!

- Wow, guys. This is amazing.
- Mmm-hmm.

You know what I'm
gonna do with it?

I'd say play hockey, but
you never seem to do that.

I'm gonna slap-shot
that cocky pigeon.

Oh, no! He's regressing!

Barry, where's your
special flower?

Fondle it the way
Mrs. Kremp taught you.

I'm just catching up to the fact

that Mrs. Kremp asked
you to fondle something.

But, yeah, do that.

Oh! What is going on?

She fired me.

I screwed that up the way
I screw up everything.

After all Ginzerale did for me.

Ginzerale?

Barry, it's okay.

Remember when she told you to
apologize to me and be honest?

That worked out, didn't it?

You think she'd
really forgive me?

I'm sure of it.

I think I know just how
I'm gonna say sorry.

And I think I'm never
coming back here.

While Barry knew how to
fix things with Ginzy,

Erica knew the only way
my mom would feel better

was to fix her up.

What's all this?

Just a stack of eligible bachelors
interested in meeting you.

You're not the only matchmaking
yenta in Jenkintown.

Your daughter's pretty
good at it, too.

Well, it's easy when the
product is such high quality.

I don't know what to say.

Just promise me that
you'll always be yourself

and that you'll never settle.

You're too good for that.

Waiting is always worth it.

Oh!

That one.

- Ooh!
- James?

Erica reminded my mom
of how special she was.

And Barry had someone he
wanted to say that to, as well.

Barry. What are
you doing here?

This past week, you
really helped me,

and I paid you back
by being a jerk.

Oh.

Instead of just saying sorry,

I wanted to do
something extra special.

So we made you something.

"We"?

Hi, Ginzerale!

It's okay. Barry
said I could use it.

Oh, my!

It's you, kind of.

So many very expensive
and rare flowers

we can no longer sell.

It didn't come out exactly
the way I had hoped.

It's perfect.

Thank you.

And I was thinking,

maybe sometime we can
grab a cup of coffee?

I would love that.

Almost as much as I love

this adorable and
accurate replica of me.

- Do you want to dismantle it?
- Could we?

♪ The world was
moving She was ♪

♪ Floating above
it And she was ♪

Life can be stressful.

But what helps us the most is
finding friends along the way

who prop us up during
the hard times.

I made you something.

Kelp casserole with
plenty of seasoning.

Aw, you didn't have to do that.

I wanted to.

Listen, you've been nothing
but sweet and understanding,

and I really appreciate it.

Hey, that's what
friends are for.

♪ The world was
moving She was ♪

♪ Floating above
it And she was ♪

And that especially
includes new friends...

even when we've actually known
them for a long, long time.

♪ And she was ♪

If we're gonna continue
seeing each other,

I want to get everything
about me out in the open.

I don't show affection
in public or in private.

I sleep in the
pajamas God gave me.

I have several minor
procedures coming up

for which I will
need, uh, rides.

The two sounds I can't stand

are the laughter of
children and music.

Ben, you know this
isn't a date, right?

But you agreed to lunch.

Well, I was just being
a courteous neighbor.

Plus, my husband
should've been a clue.

Hello.

I also sleep in the buff.

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