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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,100 Secret To Happiness: Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy 2 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:08,780 Hi I'm Hailey with Caravan Wellness and your watching 3 00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:11,700 our series the secret to happiness 4 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:15,300 and this is comparison is the thief of joy 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,240 So let me ask you a question 6 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:21,240 when is the last time that you looked at someone else 7 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:25,280 and you wish you had what they had whether that was 8 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:26,200 their body 9 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,000 their diet 10 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,240 their clothes their car 11 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:28,880 their house 12 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:30,280 their boyfriend no just kidding 13 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,840 that's something that we all do constantly comparison 14 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,360 is something that we all do every single day I just 15 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:42,960 want you to know that comparison is a completely normal 16 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,920 emotion 17 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,360 just like anxiety 18 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,000 fear 19 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,720 happiness 20 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:47,320 Joy 21 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:47,920 sadness 22 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,480 it's something that all of us feel on a regular basis 23 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,840 and here's the thing as humans 24 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,240 we're hardwired to desire 25 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,280 we're hardwired to always want something more whether 26 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,680 that's desiring more money 27 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,520 more power more love in our life 28 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,480 it's totally normal 29 00:01:05,521 --> 00:01:08,561 To have these feelings of wanting something else 30 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:11,641 and so these feelings of comparison can also motivate 31 00:01:11,641 --> 00:01:12,361 us 32 00:01:12,361 --> 00:01:15,241 they can make us feel competitive and drive us towards 33 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,281 achieving our goals 34 00:01:16,321 --> 00:01:20,561 they can also cause really detrimental things like 35 00:01:20,601 --> 00:01:23,281 depression and sadness and leave those feelings 36 00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:27,241 of anxiety hanging over us because we're constantly 37 00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:29,841 wanting something else in today's world 38 00:01:29,841 --> 00:01:32,801 we live in a highly digital society 39 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,121 we're constantly connected 40 00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:36,921 we can get up to date on the latest trends 41 00:01:36,921 --> 00:01:39,921 we can be connected to each other in real time 42 00:01:39,921 --> 00:01:43,801 and while social media is an amazing tool to be honest 43 00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:46,161 I probably wouldn't be sitting here with you today 44 00:01:46,201 --> 00:01:49,761 if we didn't have social media it can also cause those 45 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:53,081 feelings of comparison and enable us to compare each 46 00:01:53,121 --> 00:01:55,481 other more so 47 00:01:55,522 --> 00:01:56,602 Let me ask you this 48 00:01:56,602 --> 00:01:59,362 how often do you find yourself scrolling through 49 00:01:59,362 --> 00:02:04,082 Instagram being like ugh I wish that I was sitting 50 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,882 doing a head stand in my living room or I wish that I 51 00:02:07,882 --> 00:02:10,442 was on this beach halfway around the world or I wish 52 00:02:10,442 --> 00:02:13,602 I had those amazing outfits that all of those awesome 53 00:02:13,642 --> 00:02:17,082 bloggers are wearing I know I do it too 54 00:02:17,202 --> 00:02:20,642 but one day I took a step back and I asked myself how 55 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,402 much time I was spending on social media in a negative 56 00:02:23,402 --> 00:02:28,362 way and I realized it was actually a lot I realized 57 00:02:28,362 --> 00:02:32,122 I was spending my time scrolling through Instagram 58 00:02:32,242 --> 00:02:36,322 wishing I had things that I didn't even really want 59 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:39,522 isn't that kind of crazy that we end up forcing ourselves 60 00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:43,042 to want things that we don't have that we actually 61 00:02:43,042 --> 00:02:45,482 don't even want and the truth is that we 62 00:02:45,523 --> 00:02:49,003 All individual and unique in our own way 63 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,443 so instead of focusing on all of the things that we 64 00:02:52,443 --> 00:02:55,483 don't have and all of the things that we're not doing 65 00:02:55,483 --> 00:02:58,843 how can we focus on the things that we do have and realize 66 00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:02,043 all of the incredible things that we do have in our 67 00:03:02,043 --> 00:03:02,803 lives already 68 00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:04,723 so I want to share a quote with you that I think will 69 00:03:04,963 --> 00:03:07,243 really resonate with you and shift the way that you 70 00:03:07,243 --> 00:03:10,163 think about comparison and the way you think about 71 00:03:10,283 --> 00:03:13,603 yourself and it's by Dr Seuss and since he's a doctor 72 00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:16,283 we should all believe everything that he says and 73 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:20,363 it goes like this be who you are and say what you feel 74 00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:23,803 because those who mind don't matter and those who 75 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:27,883 matter don't mind and I could not feel more strongly 76 00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:31,203 about how much this quote fuels the way that I think 77 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:34,243 about myself when I'm able to shift my perception 78 00:03:34,243 --> 00:03:35,483 of myself I'm able to 79 00:03:35,524 --> 00:03:40,164 To approach life in a way that I don't feel like I need 80 00:03:40,204 --> 00:03:42,804 to compare myself to others when I'm not comparing 81 00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:45,604 myself to others I'm able to show up in my life in a more 82 00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:47,404 authentic powerful way 83 00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:51,844 I'm able to show up with more energy vibrancy and happiness 84 00:03:51,844 --> 00:03:55,804 so now I want to share five tips with you so that you 85 00:03:55,804 --> 00:03:59,604 can overcome comparison and catch that nasty comparison 86 00:03:59,604 --> 00:04:01,284 thief red-handed the first is to remember that you 87 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,364 are in the driver's seat 88 00:04:02,364 --> 00:04:04,604 you are the driver of your own body 89 00:04:04,604 --> 00:04:09,044 you can control the path that you take of your own life 90 00:04:09,044 --> 00:04:16,044 and while it may not always feel like you have control 91 00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:19,244 the truth is you do you can't always control other 92 00:04:19,244 --> 00:04:20,604 peoples actions 93 00:04:20,644 --> 00:04:25,484 but you can always always control your reaction 94 00:04:25,525 --> 00:04:30,725 Remember that no matter what twist intern happens 95 00:04:30,725 --> 00:04:36,125 it's always an opportunity for something new 96 00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:38,565 so even if it feels like you took the wrong turn trust 97 00:04:38,565 --> 00:04:40,245 that your body has the intuition to take that internal 98 00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:43,485 GPS and set you straight second and I think that this 99 00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:46,645 might be my favorite tip remember that perfection 100 00:04:46,645 --> 00:04:48,445 is an illusion on Instagram 101 00:04:48,445 --> 00:04:53,445 you can always add a filter but it's important to remember 102 00:04:53,485 --> 00:04:57,085 what's going on behind the scenes of people's lives 103 00:04:57,085 --> 00:05:01,765 what you see on Instagram is a version of what people 104 00:05:01,765 --> 00:05:04,645 want you to see it is a very carefully curated feed 105 00:05:04,645 --> 00:05:06,325 of that person's life 106 00:05:06,325 --> 00:05:09,085 so let's use this example you see this person that 107 00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:13,525 has an amazing home and you look at it and just wish 108 00:05:13,565 --> 00:05:15,485 why doesn't my house look like 109 00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:16,446 That why 110 00:05:16,486 --> 00:05:18,766 why isn't my couch that beautiful why don't I have 111 00:05:18,766 --> 00:05:22,646 that coffee table what you might not be seeing is a 112 00:05:22,646 --> 00:05:25,446 nasty pile of dishes in that person's sink 113 00:05:25,446 --> 00:05:28,686 so while this is just an example and I'm sure many of 114 00:05:28,726 --> 00:05:31,926 those homes don't have nasty piles of dishes in their 115 00:05:31,926 --> 00:05:32,566 sink 116 00:05:32,606 --> 00:05:37,526 the truth is what you're seeing is not always reality 117 00:05:37,526 --> 00:05:42,126 and your reality is different from someone else's 118 00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:42,886 reality 119 00:05:42,886 --> 00:05:46,246 and that is totally okay 120 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:49,726 the third is to know your own individual goals and 121 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:54,046 be confident with them what you desire in life is very 122 00:05:54,046 --> 00:05:56,726 different than what someone else desires in life 123 00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:59,526 so why would your expected outcome be the same 124 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,446 if you're not interested in fitness or you're not 125 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:04,246 interested in cooking 126 00:06:04,246 --> 00:06:05,486 why would you 127 00:06:05,527 --> 00:06:08,567 Who go and work out every single day in the same way 128 00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:11,567 that that famous blogger does or why would you prepare 129 00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:14,247 a fancy meal if that doesn't interest you staying 130 00:06:14,247 --> 00:06:17,847 true to the things that feel good to you are going to 131 00:06:17,847 --> 00:06:21,207 keep you from comparing yourself to other people 132 00:06:21,407 --> 00:06:24,127 next eliminate judgement 133 00:06:24,127 --> 00:06:27,807 this means eliminate judgment of yourself and eliminate 134 00:06:27,807 --> 00:06:29,287 judgment of others 135 00:06:29,327 --> 00:06:33,127 don't get me wrong judgment is a completely normal 136 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:33,967 part of life 137 00:06:34,007 --> 00:06:37,607 we judge things constantly when we go to a restaurant 138 00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:40,167 we judge the food when we meet someone for the first 139 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,487 time we're inclined to judge them when we go to a workout 140 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:44,047 class 141 00:06:44,127 --> 00:06:46,247 we judge the instructor because we're figuring out 142 00:06:46,247 --> 00:06:49,887 whether or not we like the class so yes judgments are 143 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,367 a normal part of life 144 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:54,407 but it's important to recognize when we're using 145 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,487 negative judgments 146 00:06:55,528 --> 00:06:59,408 Impact ourselves in a really negative way so an example 147 00:06:59,408 --> 00:07:03,048 of this is I was on the subway a couple of weeks ago and 148 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,968 I think I was in a really bad mood to begin with 149 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:09,568 and I sat down and I was sitting there and I looked at 150 00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:11,208 the woman across from me 151 00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:12,408 and I was like ugh 152 00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:17,008 those are such ugly shoes and then I thought to myself 153 00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:21,888 why do I care if the woman sitting across from me has 154 00:07:21,888 --> 00:07:27,048 ugly shoes and who am I to judge whether or not those 155 00:07:27,048 --> 00:07:27,728 shoes are ugly 156 00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:30,328 maybe those shoes were that woman's favorite pair 157 00:07:30,328 --> 00:07:31,248 of shoes 158 00:07:31,248 --> 00:07:34,848 maybe they made her feel awesome and you know what 159 00:07:34,848 --> 00:07:36,008 at the end of the day 160 00:07:36,008 --> 00:07:38,888 if those shoes make her feel awesome that makes me 161 00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:43,008 feel awesome to recognizing this type of judgment 162 00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:45,488 allowed me to take a step back 163 00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:48,449 Understand what's really important or not 164 00:07:48,449 --> 00:07:51,649 not judging that woman's shoes really 165 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:56,160 Impacted my day in a more positive way I was able to 166 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,880 say no judgment here I'm going to move on with my life 167 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,160 in a positive way 168 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,480 finally trust yourself 169 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:08,160 you are a far more intuitive person than you give yourself 170 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,320 credit for your body knows what it means and you know 171 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,200 what you love 172 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,080 and when you start comparing yourself to other people 173 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,760 you start to lack that trust in yourself when we don't 174 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,320 trust ourselves were not able to move forward confidently 175 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,080 and we stand in our own way when we're standing in our 176 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:27,760 own way 177 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,160 we don't achieve the things that we want in our life 178 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,840 we don't show up the way that we want to in our career 179 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,440 we don't cultivate amazing relationships 180 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,400 so when you're able to say I trust myself 181 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,000 and I trust my interests fully 182 00:08:42,061 --> 00:08:46,061 You're able to be the person that you truly want to 183 00:08:46,101 --> 00:08:49,461 be I'm gonna give you a quick example because I think 184 00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:52,261 that it can help when you feel like someone else is 185 00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:55,741 in your shoes I really love health and wellness I love 186 00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:57,741 going to the gym I love nutrition 187 00:08:57,781 --> 00:09:01,221 and I loved kale and for the longest time I felt like 188 00:09:01,221 --> 00:09:03,501 people were judging me because they felt like it was 189 00:09:03,581 --> 00:09:06,741 weird or they felt like I was a health nut and then I 190 00:09:06,741 --> 00:09:10,941 finally said you know what this is what I love 191 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:14,741 and this is what I am interested in and it makes me feel 192 00:09:14,741 --> 00:09:15,621 awesome 193 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:19,221 so I'm gonna keep doing it when I started to trust myself 194 00:09:19,221 --> 00:09:22,541 and trust that that was good for my body I was able to 195 00:09:22,581 --> 00:09:25,461 cultivate this sense of confidence that I never had 196 00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:29,101 before and I felt happier and energized in a way that 197 00:09:29,141 --> 00:09:30,901 I didn't when I didn't trust myself 198 00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:32,021 so let's talk 199 00:09:32,062 --> 00:09:33,782 About a little bonus tip 200 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:38,662 how can you catch that comparison thief well the first 201 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:43,222 thing to do is to identify what is truly important 202 00:09:43,222 --> 00:09:46,862 to you not what's important to your best friend not 203 00:09:46,902 --> 00:09:49,782 what's important to your family or your co-workers 204 00:09:49,782 --> 00:09:54,382 but what is important to you is having really nice 205 00:09:54,422 --> 00:09:57,382 clothes and really fancy shirts and shoes is important 206 00:09:57,462 --> 00:09:57,822 to you 207 00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:02,982 if so I think that's awesome and you should go out and 208 00:10:02,982 --> 00:10:05,342 you should pursue that and you should follow people 209 00:10:05,342 --> 00:10:07,902 on Instagram who do those types of things 210 00:10:07,902 --> 00:10:11,462 and if not it's OK to click unfollow if you find that 211 00:10:11,462 --> 00:10:14,902 following people who don't also find your interests 212 00:10:14,902 --> 00:10:16,262 important to them 213 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,160 unfollowing them can actually be a really positive 214 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,920 way to stop comparing yourself if you find working 215 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:29,440 out and eating healthy something that really lifts 216 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,960 you up and energizes you pursue more of that and finally 217 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,600 what I want you to do right now is write down five things 218 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,080 that you love about you 219 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,920 yes five things and I promise if you take a couple of 220 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,120 minutes 221 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,960 you can think about five things that make you awesomely 222 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:46,200 unique 223 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,720 maybe you're really really nice 224 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,560 maybe you're sensitive in the best way possible 225 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:54,040 maybe you're the life of the party whatever it is write 226 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,720 it down and tape it to your mirror and I want you to look 227 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,720 at that every single day before you leave for the day 228 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,840 to remember how truly awesome 229 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,440 you are 230 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,400 because guess what you are 231 00:11:06,441 --> 00:11:08,401 You are you and I am me 232 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,681 and that's what makes the world go around wouldn't 233 00:11:10,681 --> 00:11:12,961 the world be really boring 234 00:11:12,961 --> 00:11:15,841 if we were all the same 235 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,441 thank you so much for tuning into our series 236 00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:19,921 the secret to happiness 237 00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:23,881 this episode was comparison is the thief of joy stay 238 00:11:23,881 --> 00:11:26,641 tuned for more episodes coming soon 19172

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