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Secret To Happiness: Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy
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Hi I'm Hailey with Caravan Wellness and your watching
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our series the secret to happiness
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and this is comparison is the thief of joy
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So let me ask you a question
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when is the last time that you looked at someone else
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and you wish you had what they had whether that was
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their body
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their diet
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their clothes their car
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their house
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their boyfriend no just kidding
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that's something that we all do constantly comparison
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is something that we all do every single day I just
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want you to know that comparison is a completely normal
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emotion
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just like anxiety
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fear
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happiness
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Joy
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sadness
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it's something that all of us feel on a regular basis
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and here's the thing as humans
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we're hardwired to desire
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we're hardwired to always want something more whether
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that's desiring more money
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more power more love in our life
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it's totally normal
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To have these feelings of wanting something else
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and so these feelings of comparison can also motivate
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us
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they can make us feel competitive and drive us towards
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achieving our goals
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they can also cause really detrimental things like
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depression and sadness and leave those feelings
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of anxiety hanging over us because we're constantly
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wanting something else in today's world
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we live in a highly digital society
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we're constantly connected
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we can get up to date on the latest trends
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we can be connected to each other in real time
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and while social media is an amazing tool to be honest
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I probably wouldn't be sitting here with you today
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if we didn't have social media it can also cause those
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feelings of comparison and enable us to compare each
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other more so
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Let me ask you this
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how often do you find yourself scrolling through
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Instagram being like ugh I wish that I was sitting
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doing a head stand in my living room or I wish that I
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was on this beach halfway around the world or I wish
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I had those amazing outfits that all of those awesome
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bloggers are wearing I know I do it too
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but one day I took a step back and I asked myself how
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much time I was spending on social media in a negative
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way and I realized it was actually a lot I realized
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I was spending my time scrolling through Instagram
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wishing I had things that I didn't even really want
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isn't that kind of crazy that we end up forcing ourselves
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to want things that we don't have that we actually
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don't even want and the truth is that we
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All individual and unique in our own way
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so instead of focusing on all of the things that we
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don't have and all of the things that we're not doing
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how can we focus on the things that we do have and realize
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all of the incredible things that we do have in our
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lives already
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so I want to share a quote with you that I think will
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really resonate with you and shift the way that you
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think about comparison and the way you think about
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yourself and it's by Dr Seuss and since he's a doctor
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we should all believe everything that he says and
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it goes like this be who you are and say what you feel
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because those who mind don't matter and those who
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matter don't mind and I could not feel more strongly
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about how much this quote fuels the way that I think
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about myself when I'm able to shift my perception
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of myself I'm able to
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To approach life in a way that I don't feel like I need
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to compare myself to others when I'm not comparing
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myself to others I'm able to show up in my life in a more
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authentic powerful way
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I'm able to show up with more energy vibrancy and happiness
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so now I want to share five tips with you so that you
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can overcome comparison and catch that nasty comparison
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thief red-handed the first is to remember that you
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are in the driver's seat
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you are the driver of your own body
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you can control the path that you take of your own life
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and while it may not always feel like you have control
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the truth is you do you can't always control other
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peoples actions
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but you can always always control your reaction
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Remember that no matter what twist intern happens
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it's always an opportunity for something new
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so even if it feels like you took the wrong turn trust
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that your body has the intuition to take that internal
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GPS and set you straight second and I think that this
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might be my favorite tip remember that perfection
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is an illusion on Instagram
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you can always add a filter but it's important to remember
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what's going on behind the scenes of people's lives
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what you see on Instagram is a version of what people
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want you to see it is a very carefully curated feed
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of that person's life
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so let's use this example you see this person that
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has an amazing home and you look at it and just wish
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why doesn't my house look like
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That why
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why isn't my couch that beautiful why don't I have
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that coffee table what you might not be seeing is a
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nasty pile of dishes in that person's sink
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so while this is just an example and I'm sure many of
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those homes don't have nasty piles of dishes in their
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sink
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the truth is what you're seeing is not always reality
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and your reality is different from someone else's
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reality
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and that is totally okay
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the third is to know your own individual goals and
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be confident with them what you desire in life is very
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different than what someone else desires in life
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so why would your expected outcome be the same
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if you're not interested in fitness or you're not
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interested in cooking
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why would you
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Who go and work out every single day in the same way
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that that famous blogger does or why would you prepare
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a fancy meal if that doesn't interest you staying
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true to the things that feel good to you are going to
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keep you from comparing yourself to other people
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next eliminate judgement
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this means eliminate judgment of yourself and eliminate
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judgment of others
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don't get me wrong judgment is a completely normal
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part of life
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we judge things constantly when we go to a restaurant
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we judge the food when we meet someone for the first
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time we're inclined to judge them when we go to a workout
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class
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we judge the instructor because we're figuring out
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whether or not we like the class so yes judgments are
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a normal part of life
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but it's important to recognize when we're using
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negative judgments
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Impact ourselves in a really negative way so an example
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of this is I was on the subway a couple of weeks ago and
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I think I was in a really bad mood to begin with
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and I sat down and I was sitting there and I looked at
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the woman across from me
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and I was like ugh
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those are such ugly shoes and then I thought to myself
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why do I care if the woman sitting across from me has
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ugly shoes and who am I to judge whether or not those
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shoes are ugly
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maybe those shoes were that woman's favorite pair
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of shoes
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maybe they made her feel awesome and you know what
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at the end of the day
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if those shoes make her feel awesome that makes me
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feel awesome to recognizing this type of judgment
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allowed me to take a step back
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Understand what's really important or not
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not judging that woman's shoes really
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Impacted my day in a more positive way I was able to
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say no judgment here I'm going to move on with my life
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in a positive way
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finally trust yourself
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you are a far more intuitive person than you give yourself
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credit for your body knows what it means and you know
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what you love
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and when you start comparing yourself to other people
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you start to lack that trust in yourself when we don't
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trust ourselves were not able to move forward confidently
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and we stand in our own way when we're standing in our
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own way
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we don't achieve the things that we want in our life
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we don't show up the way that we want to in our career
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we don't cultivate amazing relationships
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so when you're able to say I trust myself
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and I trust my interests fully
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You're able to be the person that you truly want to
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be I'm gonna give you a quick example because I think
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that it can help when you feel like someone else is
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in your shoes I really love health and wellness I love
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going to the gym I love nutrition
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and I loved kale and for the longest time I felt like
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people were judging me because they felt like it was
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weird or they felt like I was a health nut and then I
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finally said you know what this is what I love
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and this is what I am interested in and it makes me feel
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awesome
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so I'm gonna keep doing it when I started to trust myself
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and trust that that was good for my body I was able to
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cultivate this sense of confidence that I never had
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before and I felt happier and energized in a way that
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I didn't when I didn't trust myself
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so let's talk
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About a little bonus tip
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how can you catch that comparison thief well the first
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thing to do is to identify what is truly important
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to you not what's important to your best friend not
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what's important to your family or your co-workers
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but what is important to you is having really nice
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clothes and really fancy shirts and shoes is important
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to you
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if so I think that's awesome and you should go out and
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you should pursue that and you should follow people
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on Instagram who do those types of things
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and if not it's OK to click unfollow if you find that
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following people who don't also find your interests
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important to them
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unfollowing them can actually be a really positive
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way to stop comparing yourself if you find working
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out and eating healthy something that really lifts
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you up and energizes you pursue more of that and finally
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what I want you to do right now is write down five things
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that you love about you
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yes five things and I promise if you take a couple of
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minutes
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you can think about five things that make you awesomely
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unique
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maybe you're really really nice
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maybe you're sensitive in the best way possible
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maybe you're the life of the party whatever it is write
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it down and tape it to your mirror and I want you to look
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at that every single day before you leave for the day
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to remember how truly awesome
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you are
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because guess what you are
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You are you and I am me
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and that's what makes the world go around wouldn't
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the world be really boring
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if we were all the same
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thank you so much for tuning into our series
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the secret to happiness
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this episode was comparison is the thief of joy stay
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tuned for more episodes coming soon
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