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1
00:01:32,278 --> 00:01:35,888
How come the dog gets to sit in there
while we're freezing our ass off out here?
2
00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:38,061
It would be cruel to let him out
on a night like this.
3
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:41,584
- He's just a dumb animal.
- No, Dave, we're the dumb animals.
4
00:01:45,892 --> 00:01:47,456
Keep it right there.
5
00:01:47,848 --> 00:01:50,327
Over to the side. Yeah, yeah. Stay back.
6
00:01:52,718 --> 00:01:54,197
A little girl?
7
00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:57,241
- I'm coming. All right, I'm here.
- Yeah.
8
00:01:58,024 --> 00:01:59,893
Where were you on the stairway, asshole?
9
00:01:59,979 --> 00:02:03,155
- I was looking for you.
- Oh, yeah, looking for me.
10
00:02:03,634 --> 00:02:08,025
This is my kind of night, Dave.
The wind chill factor's 10 below zero...
11
00:02:08,113 --> 00:02:11,855
that building's an inferno,
my stomach's a goddamn volcano...
12
00:02:11,941 --> 00:02:14,855
and I got an icicle of snot
hanging from my nose.
13
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,639
That's it. This is my last fire.
I'm hanging up my hose.
14
00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:21,988
Bullshit, Jack.
I've heard that from you 1,000 times.
15
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:24,289
- Bullshit? Oh, yeah?
- Bullshit.
16
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,597
Read this, pal, and weep.
17
00:02:26,684 --> 00:02:29,340
"Paradise for Pennies. A Garden of Eden...
18
00:02:29,426 --> 00:02:33,468
"built on a secluded lagoon, with its own
private dock and speedboat included.
19
00:02:33,555 --> 00:02:37,340
- "Contact Mr. Banks, Saint Nicholas."
- Where the hell is Saint Nicholas?
20
00:02:37,426 --> 00:02:40,212
- It's in the islands, Dave.
- Which islands?
21
00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:42,864
Nice, warm islands.
22
00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:50,561
Go on, ma'am.
23
00:02:50,649 --> 00:02:53,693
- My baby is in there.
- Yes, I know.
24
00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:54,995
My baby.
25
00:02:55,126 --> 00:02:57,081
Damn it. Hand me that crowbar.
26
00:02:58,431 --> 00:03:01,304
Let me know what's happening.
Let me know what the spread is.
27
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:03,128
- Move along!
- Where's he going?
28
00:03:03,215 --> 00:03:05,085
Get in after him!
29
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:17,567
Oh, shit!
30
00:03:23,048 --> 00:03:25,396
Come on, baby. It's me, Jack.
31
00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:27,004
Come on.
32
00:03:29,525 --> 00:03:31,354
Come on, baby.
33
00:03:31,746 --> 00:03:33,920
You want to play?
34
00:03:34,835 --> 00:03:36,790
You furry piece of shit.
35
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:43,052
Get the net! Come on, babe.
36
00:03:45,011 --> 00:03:47,316
Come on, baby. Yeah! Get it, baby.
37
00:04:08,929 --> 00:04:11,757
Jack, Jack! Oh, Jesus! Jack!
38
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:17,628
Dave.
39
00:04:18,282 --> 00:04:20,323
- Jack.
- Dave.
40
00:04:20,411 --> 00:04:21,670
I'm here, Jack.
41
00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,279
I quit.
42
00:04:24,671 --> 00:04:25,846
Son of a bitch.
43
00:04:26,804 --> 00:04:28,632
Jack, can you hear me?
44
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:32,718
Shit.
45
00:04:33,153 --> 00:04:35,631
Jack!
46
00:08:05,559 --> 00:08:09,429
Limbo time, everybody.
How low can you go?
47
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:15,213
Do you mind, Jack?
It's awfully loud, isn't it?
48
00:08:15,301 --> 00:08:18,304
"Awfully loud, isn't it?" Quite true. Sorry.
49
00:08:18,387 --> 00:08:19,649
Terribly sorry.
50
00:08:19,781 --> 00:08:23,434
Jack, this is Captain Toby Prooth
and Phillipa Lloyd.
51
00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:27,130
They just came in from Antigua.
Toby has the most beautiful sloop.
52
00:08:27,218 --> 00:08:30,390
Yes, he does. Are you cast or crew?
53
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,260
Strictly crew.
54
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,132
And, of course, you know the Governor.
55
00:08:34,219 --> 00:08:37,916
Oh, the formerly honorable
Anthony Croyden Hayes. Your Excellency.
56
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:40,220
Good gracious, man, are you still here?
57
00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:43,177
You remind me of a sort of strange
vegetation that just popped up...
58
00:08:43,264 --> 00:08:46,264
and now we can't get rid of.
It seems that you've been here for a year.
59
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:49,789
Oh, it's just been five months. But tempus
really fugits when you're having fun.
60
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:53,137
That's what I love about you tourists:
The instant you get your pink feet...
61
00:08:53,223 --> 00:08:56,486
into some sand, you start thinking about
giving up the dry-cleaning business...
62
00:08:56,614 --> 00:08:58,007
in Cleveland and moving to the islands.
63
00:08:58,095 --> 00:09:00,574
Are you in the dry-cleaning business,
Mr. Moniker?
64
00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:03,139
Hat-blocking? Xerox repair?
65
00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:06,010
Fireman, sir. Chicago fireman. Retired.
66
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,531
- That's interesting.
- There's a smashing yacht club...
67
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:11,839
in Chicago. Belmont Harbor.
68
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,098
Well, you see,
yachting's a little tough in Chicago...
69
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,664
'cause they tend to shoot at you
from the South Shore.
70
00:09:16,751 --> 00:09:20,666
Yes, you have a nice, steady kind
of violence in the States. Very predictable.
71
00:09:20,753 --> 00:09:25,233
Here in the jungle, it's basically long,
tedious periods of sweltering doldrums...
72
00:09:25,319 --> 00:09:29,017
punctuated by the occasional bloodbath.
I think we're due for one at any minute.
73
00:09:29,147 --> 00:09:30,886
Now, now, Tony...
74
00:09:30,973 --> 00:09:34,756
don't start those wild rumors
about revolution again.
75
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,889
Well, it happened in Kenya, didn't it?
76
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:39,976
They dragged those fat burghers
from their beds in the dead of night...
77
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,498
forced them to drink blood
through a severed sheep's penis...
78
00:09:42,585 --> 00:09:44,848
and then hacked them to pieces
with machetes.
79
00:09:44,935 --> 00:09:47,021
It isn't bad as all that.
80
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,718
Besides, I don't think there are any sheep
on Saint Nicholas.
81
00:09:49,805 --> 00:09:52,065
I heard about this guy in Cicero.
82
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:57,415
He stiffed a loan shark. So a couple
of these guys got him. Cut off his arm...
83
00:09:57,501 --> 00:09:58,676
beat him to death with the arm...
84
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,980
then shoved the arm in a food processor,
and made a dip out of it.
85
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,417
Then they served it to his family
at his sister's wedding.
86
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,985
And his sister loved it so much
she wanted the recipe.
87
00:10:07,072 --> 00:10:08,636
It's a crazy world, isn't it?
88
00:10:08,722 --> 00:10:11,940
You two are a cheerful pair.
Flotsam and jetsam.
89
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,592
My dear young lady, unlike you...
90
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,988
I have not spent my life cruising
from discotheque to discotheque...
91
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:20,160
with my ass hanging out
of a French-cut bathing suit.
92
00:10:20,248 --> 00:10:23,467
- You're missing all the fun, aren't you?
- I suspect you're right.
93
00:10:23,554 --> 00:10:26,249
Prooth, I'll be stopping
by the Club Paradise later.
94
00:10:26,336 --> 00:10:28,164
There's some wonderful music.
95
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,730
- We have other plans.
- I bet you do, you party Cossack.
96
00:10:31,817 --> 00:10:34,944
Be careful. Somewhere on this island,
there's a doll with your face on it.
97
00:10:35,032 --> 00:10:36,859
Voodoo. Ta-ta. Take care.
98
00:11:07,519 --> 00:11:09,826
- Mr. Monkey.
- Oh, Miss Pansy.
99
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:14,000
- Bless you, girl.
- No problem.
100
00:11:14,087 --> 00:11:15,522
Have a time.
101
00:11:17,481 --> 00:11:19,262
Yeah, man. Whiskey.
102
00:11:20,698 --> 00:11:24,568
Radical. Yes, man. Evening, girls.
103
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,182
- Hello, again.
- Hello.
104
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,532
Bug spray?
105
00:11:43,965 --> 00:11:45,791
No, thanks. They don't bother me.
106
00:11:45,878 --> 00:11:49,315
They will. Take it from me. I'm Island Jack.
107
00:11:51,356 --> 00:11:54,361
Oh, really? And what island are you from?
108
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,665
- Ellis, originally.
- So what do you do around here?
109
00:11:57,753 --> 00:12:00,360
After you left the Palms,
they said you were a smuggler.
110
00:12:00,448 --> 00:12:02,273
No, I'm a snuggler.
111
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,364
No, actually, I'm retired.
112
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:09,016
I live off a big insurance settlement
from the fire department.
113
00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:11,712
- Fraud?
- No. Injury.
114
00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:15,365
Permanently and totally disabled
in the line of duty.
115
00:12:15,452 --> 00:12:16,976
You seem fit enough.
116
00:12:17,062 --> 00:12:20,193
- But inside, I'm a mess.
- I don't doubt it.
117
00:12:21,368 --> 00:12:24,932
- Would you care to dance?
- Yeah, why not?
118
00:12:28,109 --> 00:12:30,152
I think we better sit this one out.
119
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:32,717
Thank you. I told you I was injured.
120
00:12:36,894 --> 00:12:38,241
Phillipa.
121
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:42,243
Can we leave?
This place is absolutely ghastly.
122
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:45,114
Do you mind?
I'm a close, personal friend of the owner.
123
00:12:45,201 --> 00:12:47,983
- This is the finest hotel on the island.
- I wouldn't be surprised.
124
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,420
Imagine trying to run a first-class hotel
on this island.
125
00:12:50,507 --> 00:12:52,854
Try and find a decent chef,
or even a decent cut of meat.
126
00:12:52,942 --> 00:12:56,635
And as for help, I guarantee there isn't
a single native on this island...
127
00:12:56,723 --> 00:12:59,247
who's given a decent day's work
since they outlawed flogging.
128
00:12:59,334 --> 00:13:01,380
Refreshing outlook.
129
00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:03,291
Fiery Jack, see you've made contact.
130
00:13:03,379 --> 00:13:06,816
Mr. Reed, Miss Phillipa Lloyd.
Mr. Toby Prooth.
131
00:13:07,247 --> 00:13:10,119
Mr. Reed is the owner, manager,
and musical entertainment director...
132
00:13:10,162 --> 00:13:11,599
- here at Club Paradise.
- Welcome.
133
00:13:11,686 --> 00:13:14,426
Toby here was just reminiscing
about the good old days.
134
00:13:14,512 --> 00:13:18,249
Flogging, slavery. Honest day's
work for an honest day's beating.
135
00:13:18,729 --> 00:13:22,123
- Gone but not forgotten.
- Phillipa, really, can we go?
136
00:13:22,342 --> 00:13:24,124
I feel a colossal headache coming on.
137
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,255
I feel one just about to leave.
138
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:29,776
Why don't you run along?
I think I'll stay a bit.
139
00:13:30,036 --> 00:13:31,647
- Suit yourself.
- Good idea.
140
00:13:31,735 --> 00:13:33,953
Take care. See you in the 17th century.
141
00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:36,214
- Will you join us?
- Oh, thank you.
142
00:13:38,171 --> 00:13:39,563
Hello.
143
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,040
This is Miss Philadelphia.
144
00:13:42,127 --> 00:13:43,695
- Hi.
- Hi.
145
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,216
This your first time in Saint Nicholas?
146
00:14:00,395 --> 00:14:01,784
Excuse me.
147
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,526
What can I do for you, Mr. Gundy?
148
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,485
Nice to see you again, Ernest.
149
00:14:13,004 --> 00:14:15,094
Nice to see you, too, Mr. Gundy.
150
00:14:16,573 --> 00:14:17,966
Ernest...
151
00:14:18,268 --> 00:14:22,314
I come to you tonight
because I am deeply, deeply concerned.
152
00:14:23,009 --> 00:14:25,791
Now, when I became
Prime Minister of Saint Nicholas...
153
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,708
I told you to come to me
if you had any problem.
154
00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:34,489
Now, as Minister of Finance
and Minister of Tourism...
155
00:14:34,575 --> 00:14:35,968
it has come to me...
156
00:14:36,054 --> 00:14:40,317
that you are delinquent in your taxes
to the amount of $6,000...
157
00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:43,492
and that you haven't paid
your food and beverage taxes...
158
00:14:43,579 --> 00:14:46,014
violations of the tourism codes...
159
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:50,235
and reports of ganja being smoked
right here on these premises.
160
00:14:50,884 --> 00:14:54,365
- How can this continue?
- Divine justice, Mr. Gundy.
161
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,929
Life is full of miracles.
162
00:14:57,061 --> 00:15:00,976
I'm afraid it will take more than a miracle.
Listen to me, Ernest.
163
00:15:01,845 --> 00:15:05,324
There is a new wind
blowing across Saint Nicholas.
164
00:15:05,412 --> 00:15:07,453
I smelled it the minute you walked in.
165
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,891
It's businessmen.
You and your bankers and your lawyers...
166
00:15:09,978 --> 00:15:11,980
are trying to business me out of here.
167
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:16,110
Now, if you're not drinking and
you're not dancing, you better be going.
168
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,326
Still. Still. Stay.
169
00:15:20,677 --> 00:15:22,286
Take that...
170
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,421
Two weeks.
171
00:15:33,768 --> 00:15:37,117
Then I'll crush you like a cigarette butt.
172
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,899
And I haven't forgotten you,
Mr. Hook and Ladder Man.
173
00:15:47,553 --> 00:15:49,641
- Fireball!
- Easy.
174
00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:54,077
You're not going out there unless
you got a machine gun under that shirt.
175
00:15:54,165 --> 00:15:57,948
- Now, you need a lawyer.
- I don't need a lawyer, man. I need money.
176
00:15:58,035 --> 00:16:00,992
Cool vibes, everyone. Part yourselves.
177
00:16:02,339 --> 00:16:04,167
What was all that about?
178
00:16:04,558 --> 00:16:07,123
Oh, the usual. Corruption. Injustice.
179
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,168
The club's doing great.
What's the problem?
180
00:16:13,255 --> 00:16:15,910
The problem is,
my friend's a little behind on his taxes.
181
00:16:15,997 --> 00:16:17,911
About 300 years behind.
182
00:16:17,998 --> 00:16:20,258
He's gonna lose the club.
183
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:23,391
That's too bad.
This looks like a great beach.
184
00:16:23,474 --> 00:16:25,606
You know, with a bit of paint
and some new shutters...
185
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,261
somebody could really make
something out of that. Don't you think?
186
00:16:28,348 --> 00:16:30,043
Yeah. With some gasoline
and a few matches...
187
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,957
I could turn it
into really good insurance fire.
188
00:16:34,263 --> 00:16:37,829
Don't you have any ambition? Surely,
you must want something out of life.
189
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:40,915
- Yeah.
- Get off.
190
00:16:55,007 --> 00:16:58,833
Cleveland, get your thumb out of my soup.
What am I paying you for?
191
00:16:59,182 --> 00:17:01,140
Go change the gloves, will you?
192
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,964
I told him a million times.
193
00:17:03,052 --> 00:17:05,618
And this noise.
Is this guy any good or what?
194
00:17:05,704 --> 00:17:09,054
- Oh, yes. He's real good.
- He's real loud.
195
00:17:09,532 --> 00:17:13,532
Ernest! Great. Stop. Have I heard enough.
196
00:17:14,186 --> 00:17:17,536
Come on down and we'll talk.
But you guys are good, very good.
197
00:17:17,623 --> 00:17:19,491
- Thank you.
- Very hip. Too hip.
198
00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:20,970
You can't be too hip, Mr. Zerbe.
199
00:17:21,057 --> 00:17:24,144
For the crowd I get here, they want
to hear Yellow Bird In a Banana Tree.
200
00:17:24,232 --> 00:17:27,449
I could get two guys playing garbage cans,
and they'd be happy. They'd smile.
201
00:17:27,538 --> 00:17:31,625
But you guys... I don't know.
You're too political.
202
00:17:31,713 --> 00:17:33,236
I got more songs, you know.
203
00:17:33,323 --> 00:17:34,494
Ernest, I know this business...
204
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:37,191
and a guy who just paid
$32 for a bad Veal Oscar...
205
00:17:37,277 --> 00:17:41,105
doesn't want to know the band is angry.
But you keep playing at your own club.
206
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:44,716
- How's it going over there?
- They're trying to take my hotel.
207
00:17:44,805 --> 00:17:48,064
Ernest, that is not a hotel. This is a hotel.
208
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,715
What you've got over there
is a nice beach with a few rooms...
209
00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:53,588
that Marlin Perkins
would be afraid to go in.
210
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:56,893
You know, if you were smart, you'd sell
that place to me and get out of here.
211
00:17:56,980 --> 00:18:00,024
Sure, you kidding? A guy like you
in New y ork with money in his pocket?
212
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:03,068
Oh, forget it. Take my advice, sell it.
213
00:18:03,676 --> 00:18:07,677
I'll say this for you, Mr. Zerbe.
You've got style. But it's not for me.
214
00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:13,330
- Think it over. I gotta go. So good luck.
- See you around.
215
00:18:35,729 --> 00:18:39,341
- So this is my room.
- Very nice.
216
00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:44,601
This is still my room. And this...
217
00:18:46,601 --> 00:18:50,039
is the guest bedroom.
It's for rent, you know.
218
00:18:51,343 --> 00:18:55,344
Inexpensive, very cheap. In fact, free.
219
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,344
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna pay you.
220
00:18:58,432 --> 00:19:01,779
No, thanks. If I wanted to be kept,
I'd pick someone with better prospects.
221
00:19:01,865 --> 00:19:05,782
For your information, you are looking
at a future partner in Club Paradise.
222
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,431
I can't believe it. I thought you were...
223
00:19:07,519 --> 00:19:10,218
completely stuck
in your premature retirement fantasy.
224
00:19:10,304 --> 00:19:13,435
Well, I've got lots of fantasies.
You and your socks.
225
00:19:13,739 --> 00:19:17,219
Me running a club in the tropics.
People winging in from all over the world.
226
00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:20,264
Toilets backing up, guests complaining,
checks bouncing.
227
00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:23,266
This is the Third World, Jack.
It's not that easy.
228
00:19:24,046 --> 00:19:25,918
That's always bothered me
about the Third World.
229
00:19:26,005 --> 00:19:29,308
I could never figure out
where the other two worlds were.
230
00:19:29,438 --> 00:19:32,701
Come on, Philadelphia, stay here.
Have a decent job.
231
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:34,440
Work for me. I might even pay you.
232
00:19:34,527 --> 00:19:37,398
Yeah, but Toby and the others
are sailing on to Martinique on Saturday.
233
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:38,747
I'm meant to be going with them.
234
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:41,224
Darling, darling, darling. Forget Toby.
235
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:46,227
The man has the warmth of a snow pea.
Come on, you can live here...
236
00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:48,835
and you can leave whenever you wish.
237
00:19:48,923 --> 00:19:51,487
And you won't even
have to make love to me.
238
00:19:52,576 --> 00:19:55,448
- But you'll want to.
- Oh, really?
239
00:19:57,186 --> 00:19:58,753
Maybe not right away.
240
00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:04,536
Oh, I don't know, Jack.
It might be fun for a while...
241
00:20:04,622 --> 00:20:06,712
No. Fun is not even the word for it.
242
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,753
We are talking major life experience.
243
00:20:10,624 --> 00:20:12,840
- That's what I'm afraid of.
- No, no, no.
244
00:20:12,929 --> 00:20:15,104
I'm talking major passion.
245
00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:17,929
I'm overwhelmed.
246
00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:21,149
I'm talking time and a half for overtime...
247
00:20:22,628 --> 00:20:25,802
plus medical, dental...
248
00:20:26,847 --> 00:20:28,802
Well, why didn't you say so?
249
00:21:57,088 --> 00:22:00,133
- Randy, I think this is the place.
- Okay.
250
00:22:00,872 --> 00:22:04,569
- That's it?
- Yeah. Isn't that where you wanna go?
251
00:22:05,744 --> 00:22:07,960
And look at this. Look at that buffet.
252
00:22:08,047 --> 00:22:09,700
Hot buffet. I say, let's go.
253
00:22:09,830 --> 00:22:11,789
- All right, we're going.
- Okay.
254
00:22:12,311 --> 00:22:14,615
So my uncle and I
are going down to the islands...
255
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:17,531
for a couple of weeks.
You want to come with us?
256
00:22:17,705 --> 00:22:19,834
I just got this brochure on my desk...
257
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:23,267
about a place called Saint Nicholas.
You ever heard of it?
258
00:22:25,225 --> 00:22:27,228
Do you know where it is?
259
00:22:28,403 --> 00:22:30,140
"In the ocean somewhere." Right.
260
00:22:30,228 --> 00:22:32,141
Oh, God! Could we go there?
261
00:22:32,271 --> 00:22:33,272
Girls!
262
00:22:34,445 --> 00:22:36,403
Get back to work!
263
00:22:48,625 --> 00:22:51,712
This is exciting. I love small planes.
264
00:22:52,931 --> 00:22:55,496
Honey, can you just ask him
how much longer we'll be circling?
265
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:58,453
Honey, this is the man's business.
I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
266
00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:00,064
Honey, just ask him.
267
00:23:00,542 --> 00:23:01,756
Oh, all right.
268
00:23:06,195 --> 00:23:09,020
- How much farther is it?
- I don't know.
269
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,848
A couple more inches, I think.
If I could just find a hole.
270
00:23:12,978 --> 00:23:16,197
- Just find the island, okay?
- Get back to your seat!
271
00:23:16,284 --> 00:23:19,458
There's a break in the clouds!
I'm going for it!
272
00:23:20,893 --> 00:23:24,634
We're out! We're out!
Now where the hell's the airport?
273
00:23:25,808 --> 00:23:27,112
Isn't that the runway?
274
00:23:27,243 --> 00:23:30,765
Jeez, I hope not. If that runway
was any shorter, it'd be a patio.
275
00:23:30,852 --> 00:23:32,505
Just land this plane!
276
00:23:35,419 --> 00:23:37,027
Stall out! Stall out!
277
00:23:51,075 --> 00:23:54,164
- I don't hear any engines.
- Maybe it's a glider.
278
00:24:04,992 --> 00:24:08,080
I'd like to thank you
and ask that you remain seated...
279
00:24:08,168 --> 00:24:10,473
with your seatbelt securely fastened...
280
00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:14,734
until the aircraft has come
to a complete... Brake pressure!
281
00:24:22,911 --> 00:24:24,562
Bushes!
282
00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:43,829
All right! Okay!
283
00:24:44,177 --> 00:24:45,915
I made it!
284
00:24:46,002 --> 00:24:48,570
- I made it!
- What's your name?
285
00:24:49,093 --> 00:24:52,179
I made it! Okay!
286
00:24:53,006 --> 00:24:55,006
- Remind me to get a new pilot.
- Did you see that?
287
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:57,049
- You bet.
- Let's go.
288
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:05,878
One, two, three, showtime.
289
00:25:30,885 --> 00:25:33,496
Sol, what is it? Are you all right?
You look like you ate a ghost.
290
00:25:33,583 --> 00:25:36,367
- Someone paid his taxes.
- Who?
291
00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:38,888
The fireman, Moniker.
292
00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:41,540
What kind of name is Moniker?
293
00:25:41,626 --> 00:25:43,280
Sol, I hope we're not
gonna blow this thing...
294
00:25:43,368 --> 00:25:46,237
just because some hippies want to do
bed-and-breakfast on the beach.
295
00:25:46,325 --> 00:25:50,367
- Sol, you gotta get them out of there.
- I will chew on their livers.
296
00:25:50,454 --> 00:25:52,935
Please, Sol, I hate liver. Relax.
297
00:25:53,021 --> 00:25:54,589
What do you want?
You want heat prostration?
298
00:25:54,676 --> 00:25:57,415
We'll work it out.
They'll be gone in no time.
299
00:25:57,502 --> 00:26:01,326
It'll take more than paint and new grass
on the roof to turn that place around.
300
00:26:01,413 --> 00:26:02,806
Come on, they're waiting for us.
301
00:26:25,639 --> 00:26:29,032
- Did you enjoy the trip?
- No, I didn't.
302
00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:30,511
Really?
303
00:26:30,598 --> 00:26:33,293
Terry, I think you'll find
when you travel a little bit more...
304
00:26:33,380 --> 00:26:35,424
that things are different
here in the Third World.
305
00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:38,296
- Actually, I travel a lot.
- Really? What do you do?
306
00:26:38,384 --> 00:26:41,993
I review resorts and hotels
for The New York Times travel section.
307
00:26:42,079 --> 00:26:43,949
- No.
- Yes.
308
00:26:45,818 --> 00:26:46,948
Enjoy.
309
00:26:47,035 --> 00:26:48,690
I'll handle this. I'll look after it.
310
00:26:50,126 --> 00:26:54,255
Hey, red, what do you say,
you want to join us for a colada?
311
00:26:55,168 --> 00:26:57,822
Frankly, I'd rather be drawn and quartered.
312
00:26:59,519 --> 00:27:00,693
Kinky!
313
00:27:01,998 --> 00:27:04,650
Drawn and quartered. I think
we're going to need two other guys.
314
00:27:04,736 --> 00:27:06,041
Forget her. Snob city.
315
00:27:06,173 --> 00:27:09,173
Besides, all the good k'nish
is already on the beach. Let's unpack.
316
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:11,654
- Yeah, you're right.
- I gotta get a tan.
317
00:27:15,522 --> 00:27:18,391
- Dynamite rays, man.
- Dynamite rays.
318
00:27:18,434 --> 00:27:20,349
I'm gonna be schvar in two minutes here.
319
00:27:20,437 --> 00:27:22,482
This latitude is good for me.
320
00:27:29,220 --> 00:27:31,570
What do you think
of those two over there?
321
00:27:32,136 --> 00:27:33,703
- They're nice. They look nice.
- Nice?
322
00:27:33,789 --> 00:27:35,789
Forget nice. My mother's nice.
323
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:38,790
- What are you staring at?
- You told me look, I'm...
324
00:27:38,877 --> 00:27:41,747
Don't stare at them. They're gonna
come over and start talking to us.
325
00:27:41,833 --> 00:27:42,921
Will you relax?
326
00:27:43,009 --> 00:27:46,401
- Where's your subtlety?
- Where's your blood pressure? Putz.
327
00:27:47,097 --> 00:27:49,054
Those hairy guys have been looking at us.
328
00:27:49,140 --> 00:27:51,530
Jackie, don't be pathetic, okay?
329
00:27:51,619 --> 00:27:54,142
There's got to be more to do here
than just lie on a beach...
330
00:27:54,229 --> 00:27:56,664
waiting for strange guys to talk to us.
331
00:27:57,577 --> 00:27:59,796
Well, I'm going to go talk to them.
332
00:28:07,188 --> 00:28:11,494
Hi. Could you do me a favor?
Could you put some lotion on my back?
333
00:28:11,582 --> 00:28:14,973
I don't think so.
I don't want to get my hands all greasy.
334
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,801
We may grab a sandwich in a few minutes.
335
00:28:16,888 --> 00:28:18,932
- Maybe later on.
- Much later.
336
00:28:19,453 --> 00:28:22,019
- Okay. See you later.
- Have fun.
337
00:28:24,410 --> 00:28:27,239
Why don't you be a little nicer?
If we haven't scored by Thursday...
338
00:28:27,326 --> 00:28:30,413
those two scrags
are going to start looking pretty good.
339
00:28:30,499 --> 00:28:33,675
- Well, what'd they say?
- Oh, they're kind of shy.
340
00:28:34,107 --> 00:28:35,587
Yeah, right.
341
00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:40,153
Randy, there's no water.
342
00:28:42,676 --> 00:28:46,894
The towels are stolen from other hotels,
and there's no soap.
343
00:28:47,764 --> 00:28:51,200
There's no complimentary shampoo.
There's no complimentary sewing kit.
344
00:28:51,288 --> 00:28:54,332
- There's no shower cap.
- It's the same room, all right.
345
00:28:54,419 --> 00:28:57,028
They must've shot it from way up here
with a wide-angled lens.
346
00:28:57,158 --> 00:29:00,814
Maybe a fisheye or something like that.
It's huge in the picture.
347
00:29:00,944 --> 00:29:02,160
I'm gonna sue him.
348
00:29:02,246 --> 00:29:04,987
Randy, this place isn't air-conditioned.
349
00:29:05,901 --> 00:29:08,769
I don't see any little switches.
No little vents.
350
00:29:10,729 --> 00:29:13,947
- I don't believe it.
- Not a word about air conditioning.
351
00:29:14,339 --> 00:29:16,033
I just assumed it.
352
00:29:16,729 --> 00:29:18,903
Well, we'll just have to live with it.
353
00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:23,600
Randy, you do not save a marriage
without air conditioning.
354
00:29:25,123 --> 00:29:26,383
Oh, God.
355
00:29:33,819 --> 00:29:35,257
Did you need to take a leak?
356
00:29:37,039 --> 00:29:40,429
Hot enough for you?
Is everything satisfactory?
357
00:29:40,517 --> 00:29:42,084
No, not really.
358
00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:45,128
Well, we just opened up,
and we're still ironing out the bugs.
359
00:29:45,215 --> 00:29:47,259
I think you'll find most of the bugs
in my room.
360
00:29:47,347 --> 00:29:49,739
We'll have them ironed out immediately.
361
00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:54,914
But it says "private" right here.
How could it be a mistake?
362
00:29:55,001 --> 00:29:56,435
'Cause it wrong.
363
00:29:56,522 --> 00:29:59,088
I know it's wrong,
that's why I'm telling you.
364
00:29:59,175 --> 00:30:01,088
- What's your name?
- Pansy Brown, sir.
365
00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:02,218
- Pansy Brown?
- Yes, sir.
366
00:30:02,348 --> 00:30:05,352
- What seems to be the problem, folks?
- I'll tell you what the problem is.
367
00:30:05,396 --> 00:30:06,916
- Excuse me. Hello, Jack.
- Hello.
368
00:30:07,004 --> 00:30:10,700
Your brochure specifically says,
"Private bath."
369
00:30:10,788 --> 00:30:13,265
And now it seems
that we have to share a bath...
370
00:30:13,352 --> 00:30:14,919
with the gentleman next door.
371
00:30:15,006 --> 00:30:17,009
I think you'll find
that when we say "private"...
372
00:30:17,095 --> 00:30:20,267
we mean that the bathroom's
not open to the general public.
373
00:30:20,353 --> 00:30:22,400
Hey, you're right, though.
This is very misleading.
374
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:26,792
So I think I should change it and put down,
instead of "private," "secluded."
375
00:30:27,227 --> 00:30:29,575
I'm afraid it's not going
to be that easy, mister.
376
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,706
This is not my first trip out of Cleveland.
377
00:30:31,836 --> 00:30:34,225
Get out of my face
before I rip your nose off.
378
00:30:34,314 --> 00:30:36,359
- Are you threatening me?
- Yes.
379
00:30:36,447 --> 00:30:38,666
Randy, please, put the brochure away.
380
00:30:38,753 --> 00:30:40,882
Jack, I just want to know one thing.
381
00:30:41,013 --> 00:30:43,840
Am I going to be able
to take a decent shower...
382
00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:47,058
or is the water
always going to be like that?
383
00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:51,886
I'm on the case. Tonight you'll have
the finest shower possible.
384
00:30:55,624 --> 00:30:57,624
- The name's Moniker.
- I got it.
385
00:30:58,191 --> 00:30:59,192
Linda.
386
00:31:02,018 --> 00:31:04,931
- Oh, my God.
- Oh...
387
00:31:10,021 --> 00:31:12,020
One-grade, oven-ready, self-basting.
388
00:31:12,106 --> 00:31:14,065
Hey, dinner is served.
389
00:31:14,153 --> 00:31:16,806
- The entr�e's here.
- Meat.
390
00:31:16,892 --> 00:31:18,849
Meat.
391
00:31:19,241 --> 00:31:21,285
Fashion models, got to be.
392
00:31:22,025 --> 00:31:24,242
- Look at these two Aqua Velva's.
- Hi.
393
00:31:24,329 --> 00:31:26,720
- You think they're with them?
- Are you kidding? Look at them.
394
00:31:26,852 --> 00:31:29,546
They're probably gay.
They're a couple of moes.
395
00:31:29,982 --> 00:31:32,028
Oh, come on.
396
00:31:32,202 --> 00:31:35,679
What, are they trying to make us think
they're straight or something?
397
00:31:35,767 --> 00:31:37,027
Cousins.
398
00:31:50,725 --> 00:31:55,383
- Darling, champagne?
- They have that parachute thing.
399
00:31:55,990 --> 00:31:58,380
- I've always wanted to do that.
- Why?
400
00:31:58,467 --> 00:32:00,905
Why, Randy? Because I want to fly.
401
00:32:00,989 --> 00:32:03,470
I want to feel the wind through my hair.
402
00:32:03,818 --> 00:32:06,905
- I want to live.
- Do you want to play Wiffle tennis?
403
00:32:07,470 --> 00:32:10,603
No, honey,
I don't want to play any Wiffle tennis.
404
00:32:11,905 --> 00:32:16,561
Why don't you just read your book?
I need a little space for a while.
405
00:32:28,911 --> 00:32:31,781
I wonder if I might try
this parachute thing?
406
00:32:31,869 --> 00:32:33,262
Sure, what's your name?
407
00:32:33,349 --> 00:32:35,608
- Linda Whit�.
- Chris.
408
00:32:35,696 --> 00:32:37,089
- Hello, Chris.
- Helmut.
409
00:32:37,132 --> 00:32:39,827
Helmut.
410
00:32:40,611 --> 00:32:43,089
- "M," Mississippi.
- Ethiopia.
411
00:32:43,219 --> 00:32:46,045
- No, an "I."
- Ipanema.
412
00:32:46,742 --> 00:32:48,308
That's a song. It's not a place.
413
00:32:48,396 --> 00:32:50,918
It's The Girl from lpanema.
It's fictional, that thing.
414
00:32:51,004 --> 00:32:54,266
- Where do you think she's originally from?
- No, you can't use that, lpanema.
415
00:32:54,354 --> 00:32:56,179
I didn't just make it... I don't want to play.
416
00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:59,704
How's it going, guys? Sorry we didn't
get a chance to talk on the bus.
417
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,441
- Remember me? I'm Jack.
- Barry.
418
00:33:01,529 --> 00:33:03,400
- Barry.
- Whoa, d�j� vu.
419
00:33:03,488 --> 00:33:05,443
Barry Steinberg. Barry Nye.
Smoked meats.
420
00:33:05,575 --> 00:33:07,878
- Nice to have you here, Barry.
- Listen, what's going on here?
421
00:33:07,965 --> 00:33:10,663
This beach is dead.
It's all Preparation and no H.
422
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:13,663
What, are you blind?
You got dogs under these chairs, man?
423
00:33:13,751 --> 00:33:16,359
Come on, check it out.
What about those two?
424
00:33:18,664 --> 00:33:21,231
- I don't think they're interested.
- Too tall.
425
00:33:21,318 --> 00:33:23,143
Come on,
they were just talking to me about you.
426
00:33:23,231 --> 00:33:24,753
- No. They weren't.
- Really?
427
00:33:24,839 --> 00:33:28,317
They said that you weren't fit
to sleep with pigs. But I stood up for you.
428
00:33:28,403 --> 00:33:29,667
- What did you say?
- I said you were.
429
00:33:29,753 --> 00:33:31,190
- All right.
- All right. Okay.
430
00:33:31,276 --> 00:33:33,453
So, come on, get out there, mingle.
431
00:33:33,540 --> 00:33:35,321
I guarantee if you stick with it,
by tonight...
432
00:33:35,408 --> 00:33:37,669
your meat'll be smoked.
You know what I'm saying?
433
00:33:37,757 --> 00:33:40,495
- See you tonight. Big reggae dance.
- Thanks, man. See you later.
434
00:33:40,582 --> 00:33:44,844
- We'll just cinch you up a bit.
- Very good, you have very strong legs.
435
00:33:46,672 --> 00:33:48,584
- Linda, are you ready to fly?
- Yes, I am.
436
00:33:48,673 --> 00:33:50,671
Linda, the sky is yours.
437
00:34:03,676 --> 00:34:04,851
Randy!
438
00:34:39,294 --> 00:34:40,513
Randy!
439
00:34:50,515 --> 00:34:51,820
Randy!
440
00:35:14,088 --> 00:35:17,607
I'm not wearing this shirt.
Look at it. Look at this shirt.
441
00:35:18,913 --> 00:35:22,827
- Look, I won't wear it.
- Guys, you on a union 10?
442
00:35:24,742 --> 00:35:28,568
Make it 15. We'll get together one day.
We'll have lunch.
443
00:35:28,654 --> 00:35:30,264
Yeah, lunch.
444
00:35:31,439 --> 00:35:33,093
Roll one for me.
445
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:36,656
Did you rehearse?
446
00:35:36,745 --> 00:35:40,746
Fireburn for these songs. I have
my own songs. I'm not doing these songs.
447
00:35:40,832 --> 00:35:44,702
Don't do this to me, partner. Come on,
we've promised these people a floorshow.
448
00:35:44,789 --> 00:35:47,748
These are good songs.
They love these songs.
449
00:35:47,834 --> 00:35:50,792
Anyone hear these songs,
don't want to hear these songs anymore.
450
00:35:50,878 --> 00:35:53,446
And plus, I can't wear
all these Babylon clothes...
451
00:35:53,532 --> 00:35:57,186
- and smiling for all these people.
- Do you think I like wearing these clothes?
452
00:35:57,273 --> 00:36:00,273
Do you think I like
looking like a Hawaiian pimp?
453
00:36:00,796 --> 00:36:04,623
You know, I knew another proud,
young, black man like yourself once.
454
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:09,317
And I gave him some advice, too.
I told him, "Wear one glove.
455
00:36:10,231 --> 00:36:13,842
"Just one glove." The rest was history.
456
00:36:14,669 --> 00:36:18,277
- And who was that?
- Willie Mays. Come on.
457
00:36:19,279 --> 00:36:21,844
You wear these clothes,
you sing these songs...
458
00:36:21,932 --> 00:36:24,497
and I guarantee I'll have you
back in center field.
459
00:36:24,583 --> 00:36:27,456
I don't know what that center field is,
but I tell you...
460
00:36:27,542 --> 00:36:31,716
I'll do it just once.
And then I'm going to burn these clothes.
461
00:36:32,282 --> 00:36:33,889
Aye, Reed, man. Aye, Reed.
462
00:36:33,977 --> 00:36:37,066
That hair is a downright,
everlasting disgrace.
463
00:36:37,458 --> 00:36:41,024
Now, I've been working
in better hotels than this for 25 years.
464
00:36:41,110 --> 00:36:43,851
- Who hasn't?
- And I never had hair like that...
465
00:36:43,937 --> 00:36:47,155
into my kitchen, yet. It is unsanitary.
466
00:36:47,242 --> 00:36:51,331
I don't know why he must have all that
boogooyaga hair on him head at all.
467
00:36:51,418 --> 00:36:53,940
He better cut it off or go.
468
00:36:54,809 --> 00:36:57,810
It's all right. You're right.
It's very, very boogooyaga.
469
00:36:57,898 --> 00:36:59,725
I'll talk to him, and I'll work this thing out.
470
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,246
Tree, what's happening?
471
00:37:06,332 --> 00:37:07,900
Oh, no, thanks.
472
00:37:07,987 --> 00:37:10,989
Last time I smoked that stuff,
they found me on top of the Sears Tower...
473
00:37:11,076 --> 00:37:12,814
trying to build a nest.
474
00:37:13,380 --> 00:37:17,423
Now, I love your hair, man.
It's natural hair, and you're a natural man.
475
00:37:18,336 --> 00:37:21,122
But I'm getting a lot of flak
from the Health Department.
476
00:37:21,208 --> 00:37:23,557
And even I'm a little uncomfortable
with the possibility...
477
00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:26,513
of one of the guests picking
a 5-foot hair out of their tuna salad.
478
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,121
You dig where I'm coming from?
479
00:37:28,207 --> 00:37:31,342
Yeah, man, I dig where you're
coming from, but I can't cut my hair, man.
480
00:37:31,430 --> 00:37:33,169
You can't cut your hair.
481
00:37:34,471 --> 00:37:37,473
I know how we can work this one out.
Come with me.
482
00:37:39,994 --> 00:37:43,041
Portia, I'd like you to meet
your new assistant cook.
483
00:37:43,867 --> 00:37:46,346
Everybody say hello to Hat.
484
00:37:48,215 --> 00:37:51,694
- Passable.
- Watch out for those fans, baby.
485
00:37:58,347 --> 00:38:01,566
Sol, the boys are back.
Our ship has come in.
486
00:38:01,653 --> 00:38:04,437
- Now we gotta deliver.
- It's that fireman.
487
00:38:05,265 --> 00:38:09,482
I have used every legal means
at my disposal...
488
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:11,873
and still they will not be moved.
489
00:38:12,003 --> 00:38:13,569
Sol, don't go legal on me now.
490
00:38:13,656 --> 00:38:16,268
We need this. There must be some way
to get to this guy.
491
00:38:16,355 --> 00:38:17,789
Taking up the game, Mr. Zerbe?
492
00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:21,746
It's a pain in the ass. Get rid of the horses,
you'd have a good game.
493
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:24,835
Let's roll, Noel. Listen, can we talk?
494
00:38:25,139 --> 00:38:27,010
At last, a bribe.
495
00:38:27,098 --> 00:38:30,184
It's about your friend
Jack what's-his-name and that club.
496
00:38:30,271 --> 00:38:34,009
You should really talk to him.
I'd hate to see anybody get hurt.
497
00:38:34,097 --> 00:38:35,272
How very thoughtful.
498
00:38:35,358 --> 00:38:37,142
I'm just trying to do
what's best for everybody.
499
00:38:37,229 --> 00:38:38,622
Too kind.
500
00:38:48,538 --> 00:38:51,624
There, that's the way this game
should be played.
501
00:38:53,363 --> 00:38:56,929
I can't tell you the feeling
of flying through those trees.
502
00:38:57,016 --> 00:39:00,061
I have never felt more alive
in my entire life.
503
00:39:00,628 --> 00:39:03,453
Isn't it great, Randy? Isn't it fantastic?
504
00:39:04,019 --> 00:39:05,454
I don't know.
505
00:39:06,670 --> 00:39:08,106
Well, I thought it was.
506
00:39:08,193 --> 00:39:11,241
Wasn't today fun?
Didn't you have any fun?
507
00:39:12,455 --> 00:39:13,979
I found a shell.
508
00:39:14,067 --> 00:39:17,891
Randy, you may have to try
just a little bit harder.
509
00:39:21,982 --> 00:39:25,719
Tomorrow Helmut and Christopher
are giving me cliff-diving lessons.
510
00:39:26,459 --> 00:39:28,677
Won't you try it just at least once?
511
00:39:28,763 --> 00:39:33,116
Nothing could be more fun than jumping
off a cliff with two German bisexuals.
512
00:39:34,070 --> 00:39:36,331
- What?
- Nothing.
513
00:39:38,114 --> 00:39:40,245
The shower better work now.
514
00:39:48,857 --> 00:39:50,856
I don't believe it.
515
00:39:54,468 --> 00:39:55,858
Randy!
516
00:39:56,642 --> 00:39:57,817
Randy!
517
00:40:14,342 --> 00:40:18,299
- Mrs. White, how do you do it?
- Easy.
518
00:40:18,995 --> 00:40:20,257
How was that shower?
519
00:40:20,387 --> 00:40:21,518
- Brutal.
- Really?
520
00:40:21,606 --> 00:40:24,388
I'd say there's about a foot of water
in our room.
521
00:40:24,517 --> 00:40:28,084
When it rains, it pours. Have a nice night.
522
00:40:30,130 --> 00:40:33,174
Look, why don't you come
and tell me what the problem is.
523
00:40:33,261 --> 00:40:34,433
- Nice resort.
- Nice pants.
524
00:40:36,870 --> 00:40:38,699
The '60s are over, pal.
525
00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:42,827
Your Excellency.
You are looking elegant this evening.
526
00:40:42,916 --> 00:40:44,871
Why are we graced
with your imperial presence?
527
00:40:44,958 --> 00:40:47,351
The fact is, one can smell the suntan oil...
528
00:40:47,439 --> 00:40:49,916
and the frying female flesh
right across the island.
529
00:40:50,002 --> 00:40:52,136
I was curious to see what was going on...
530
00:40:52,223 --> 00:40:54,571
at this perverted passion pit
you're running here.
531
00:40:54,658 --> 00:40:59,312
This orgy bin, this... Whatever you call
this drug-crazed nipple ranch.
532
00:41:00,095 --> 00:41:02,660
I take it you're looking
for a little female companionship.
533
00:41:02,747 --> 00:41:06,441
You've come to the right place, 'cause
you got the pearls, we got the swine.
534
00:41:06,528 --> 00:41:08,661
Before I turn my hormones loose...
535
00:41:08,749 --> 00:41:12,357
I did have something official that I wanted
to discuss with you in private.
536
00:41:12,444 --> 00:41:16,055
Forgive me, but I thought most of your
official duties consisted of a lot of this.
537
00:41:16,142 --> 00:41:19,663
No. While you have been occupied
in fishing loose diaphragms...
538
00:41:19,751 --> 00:41:21,535
out of the swimming pool filters...
539
00:41:21,622 --> 00:41:23,971
I have been engaged in matters
of the utmost importance...
540
00:41:24,057 --> 00:41:25,317
to everyone on this island.
541
00:41:25,448 --> 00:41:26,797
We don't have a swimming pool.
542
00:41:26,883 --> 00:41:30,884
Nevertheless, if you do have a nook
which is not actually knee-deep...
543
00:41:30,972 --> 00:41:34,799
in seminal fluid, I do think
it's rather important we have a chat.
544
00:41:34,885 --> 00:41:37,626
I'll try and find a dry spot, and we'll talk.
545
00:41:37,974 --> 00:41:40,408
But if you're really interested
in something wonderful...
546
00:41:40,496 --> 00:41:43,584
I think you should check out the woman
in the blue, possibly silk, top.
547
00:41:43,671 --> 00:41:45,105
Why should I check her out?
548
00:41:45,192 --> 00:41:48,063
Because she's a writer for
The New York Times travel section...
549
00:41:48,149 --> 00:41:50,323
and if you charm her pants off
and drive her to China...
550
00:41:50,410 --> 00:41:53,457
she might write a real nice piece
about this place.
551
00:41:54,414 --> 00:41:57,109
Drinks on the house. Doubles.
552
00:41:57,197 --> 00:41:59,588
- Lf you think it will help.
- Bless you.
553
00:42:07,198 --> 00:42:10,417
Oh, dear. Am I too late for the main event?
554
00:42:11,114 --> 00:42:14,375
No, I think the guests will be allowed
to graze for a few more minutes...
555
00:42:14,505 --> 00:42:17,984
- before the alleged entertainment begins.
- May I join you?
556
00:42:18,463 --> 00:42:20,420
I guess that's how it works.
557
00:42:20,550 --> 00:42:24,594
The fireman told me to check you out.
I believe you're a journalist?
558
00:42:24,855 --> 00:42:27,899
Will you scribble a little something
about this place?
559
00:42:27,986 --> 00:42:32,162
I wouldn't know what to say. It sort of
reminds me of a Japanese POW camp.
560
00:42:32,902 --> 00:42:35,076
- What do you do?
- Guess.
561
00:42:36,294 --> 00:42:40,251
Too tan to hold a respectable job.
Retired millionaire?
562
00:42:40,686 --> 00:42:43,513
Hardly. I haven't any money anywhere.
563
00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:46,470
That's why people like me
live in the West Indies.
564
00:42:46,557 --> 00:42:49,517
It's one of the best places in the world
in which to be poor.
565
00:42:49,603 --> 00:42:51,298
No little mouths to feed?
566
00:42:51,385 --> 00:42:55,210
There was one very big mouth,
but my wife left me several years ago.
567
00:42:55,602 --> 00:42:56,820
Couldn't stand the tropics?
568
00:42:56,907 --> 00:42:59,736
Loved the tropics.
It was me she couldn't stand.
569
00:43:03,215 --> 00:43:04,823
- You want to make our move?
- Let's sit down.
570
00:43:04,911 --> 00:43:06,125
All right then, let's do it.
571
00:43:06,213 --> 00:43:08,171
- Which one do you want?
- I'll take the brown hair.
572
00:43:08,258 --> 00:43:10,173
- They both have brown hair.
- I'll take the banana.
573
00:43:10,261 --> 00:43:11,693
- Okay.
- Cool.
574
00:43:13,522 --> 00:43:16,653
Good evening, ladies.
Mind if my father and I join you?
575
00:43:23,306 --> 00:43:27,827
You look so familiar. Were you
at Club Med Martinique last year?
576
00:43:28,263 --> 00:43:30,787
- No.
- Club Universal in Hawaii?
577
00:43:30,874 --> 00:43:33,568
- No.
- Swingles in Fort Lauderdale?
578
00:43:33,656 --> 00:43:35,702
- No.
- You know what I think?
579
00:43:36,528 --> 00:43:39,918
I think we met in another life.
580
00:43:40,310 --> 00:43:43,966
- Do you have anything to smoke?
- Unreal!
581
00:43:44,097 --> 00:43:45,574
- Are you kidding?
- You must be psychic.
582
00:43:45,660 --> 00:43:47,964
We were just talking about that before,
getting stoned.
583
00:43:48,051 --> 00:43:50,834
I thought we were the only two heads
on the Island.
584
00:43:50,921 --> 00:43:54,794
I tell you what, we're going to go out
and cop some primo Cannabis sativa.
585
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:57,708
And the four of us will get
totally demented. What do you think?
586
00:43:57,793 --> 00:44:00,923
- Stoned out of our gourds. Okay?
- Catch you in a while?
587
00:44:01,447 --> 00:44:04,231
Save our seats. We'll be right back, okay?
588
00:44:04,405 --> 00:44:06,753
Right here waiting for you.
589
00:44:07,274 --> 00:44:08,407
- Really?
- No seeds.
590
00:44:08,537 --> 00:44:09,710
No seeds? Nice and clean?
591
00:44:09,798 --> 00:44:12,057
We should come with you,
is this what you're saying?
592
00:44:12,144 --> 00:44:14,233
- Okay, so we'll do that now?
- Where's your friend?
593
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,062
Yeah, he's right there.
Okay, I'm going to get him.
594
00:44:16,148 --> 00:44:18,539
Bar, Bar. We're out of here. Let's go.
595
00:44:27,150 --> 00:44:29,237
So what's the deal?
596
00:44:29,325 --> 00:44:33,236
The deal is,
major score of domestic homegrown...
597
00:44:33,324 --> 00:44:37,066
uncut, pure weed, happening here tonight.
Major score.
598
00:44:37,284 --> 00:44:39,849
- All right.
- Okay? All right?
599
00:44:40,067 --> 00:44:42,066
- How far is it?
- Not far.
600
00:44:42,153 --> 00:44:44,675
- How long is it going to take to get there?
- Not long. Relax.
601
00:44:44,762 --> 00:44:47,069
Like how long? Five minutes?
Ten minutes? Half an hour?
602
00:44:47,199 --> 00:44:50,372
He said, "Soon come." y ou know what
that means? It means it's coming soon.
603
00:44:50,460 --> 00:44:52,416
It takes 45 minutes to get a drink
on this island.
604
00:44:52,503 --> 00:44:54,984
- How long is it going to take?
- Will you relax? The deal's done.
605
00:44:55,068 --> 00:44:58,376
So let me get this get this straight.
The deal is that we're riding in a car...
606
00:44:58,463 --> 00:44:59,507
with a guy we don't even know.
607
00:44:59,595 --> 00:45:02,943
He's wearing sunglasses in the middle
of the night, taking us up into a jungle.
608
00:45:03,031 --> 00:45:06,158
Some godforsaken...
Nice deal, good negotiating. That's good.
609
00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:09,858
Why don't we just hand him our wallets
and slit our own throats?
610
00:45:11,683 --> 00:45:13,597
He's cool. The guy's cool.
611
00:45:14,727 --> 00:45:17,293
Now a very, very special guest,
ladies and gentlemen...
612
00:45:17,379 --> 00:45:19,295
a representative of
Her Excellency, the Queen...
613
00:45:19,382 --> 00:45:23,077
The Governor General of Saint Nicholas,
Sir Anthony Croyden Hayes.
614
00:45:28,817 --> 00:45:32,952
- It's my job.
- I've saved the best for last.
615
00:45:33,514 --> 00:45:36,210
He's my partner. He's my friend.
He's a reggae machine...
616
00:45:36,297 --> 00:45:37,951
and a fashion statement.
617
00:45:38,039 --> 00:45:40,126
Forget your annoyance,
because here comes...
618
00:45:40,212 --> 00:45:43,389
Ernest Reed and The Flamboyants.
619
00:46:34,531 --> 00:46:35,662
- Hi, man.
- Hi.
620
00:46:35,750 --> 00:46:37,011
- How are you?
- Good.
621
00:46:37,099 --> 00:46:38,274
- Great.
- Feel good.
622
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,577
Great music. Real tight.
Real good rhythm thing happening.
623
00:46:42,665 --> 00:46:46,970
We heard it, you know, driving up.
It's all music...
624
00:46:47,057 --> 00:46:49,016
- It sounds like this is the...
- Roots.
625
00:46:49,103 --> 00:46:52,580
The roots, yeah, of all music.
I thought it was jazz, but l...
626
00:46:52,755 --> 00:46:55,318
- This is labingee.
- Labingee.
627
00:46:55,536 --> 00:46:58,974
- I could listen to this all night.
- Stick around, man.
628
00:46:59,062 --> 00:47:00,150
Love to!
629
00:47:00,237 --> 00:47:03,365
How long does this go on for?
You guys go late, or what?
630
00:47:03,451 --> 00:47:06,496
Sometimes three days, all day, all night.
631
00:47:07,541 --> 00:47:09,238
- Three days.
- Big mistake.
632
00:47:09,629 --> 00:47:13,891
Big mistake. If he doesn't come soon,
I think we should just check out.
633
00:47:15,718 --> 00:47:17,324
- Hey, my man.
- Yeah, man.
634
00:47:17,411 --> 00:47:19,327
- He's back. Okay.
- All right.
635
00:47:19,979 --> 00:47:21,198
Ready?
636
00:47:21,286 --> 00:47:22,849
- Oh, we're going?
- We gotta go.
637
00:47:22,980 --> 00:47:25,719
Fellows, guys, great. Had a blast.
638
00:47:25,806 --> 00:47:27,548
- Next time.
- Great session.
639
00:47:27,631 --> 00:47:29,025
- You got it?
- Yes, man.
640
00:47:29,111 --> 00:47:30,940
Let's see it. Let's see it.
641
00:47:32,549 --> 00:47:33,851
- That's it?
- Yes, man.
642
00:47:33,939 --> 00:47:36,896
One joint? What kind of dealer are you?
643
00:47:36,983 --> 00:47:39,766
Dealer? I'm a taxi driver, man.
644
00:47:39,853 --> 00:47:42,160
- Some other guy's dealing it.
- Taxi driver.
645
00:47:42,246 --> 00:47:45,116
Good deal. One joint. You know
we're going to need more than one joint.
646
00:47:45,203 --> 00:47:48,378
Do you want to go back in there
and ask your buddies for a little bit more?
647
00:47:48,465 --> 00:47:50,246
- No, I don't.
- Well, then get in the car.
648
00:47:50,334 --> 00:47:51,465
Wait a minute!
649
00:47:57,250 --> 00:48:00,902
I believe you ladies
mentioned something about smoke.
650
00:48:00,989 --> 00:48:02,731
- Right.
- Let's see it.
651
00:48:04,295 --> 00:48:06,470
- She wants to see it.
- She wants to see it.
652
00:48:06,557 --> 00:48:09,906
This stuff is totally tubular, okay?
653
00:48:15,604 --> 00:48:18,692
She's lighting it here. Is this cool, or what?
654
00:48:24,649 --> 00:48:25,911
You're so fine.
655
00:48:27,434 --> 00:48:29,172
All right.
656
00:48:39,131 --> 00:48:40,610
Nice smoke.
657
00:48:40,828 --> 00:48:42,611
You want to pass that...
658
00:48:43,175 --> 00:48:45,828
- Hey, that's nice.
- You want to pass that...
659
00:48:47,264 --> 00:48:51,090
I had an interesting chat this afternoon
with the Prime Minister, Mr. Gundy...
660
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:54,745
and Mr. Voit Zerbe, the owner
of the Royal Saint Nicholas Hotel.
661
00:48:55,221 --> 00:48:57,788
They asked me to speak to you
about your future on the island.
662
00:48:57,876 --> 00:48:59,572
In fact, they bribed me to do it.
663
00:48:59,659 --> 00:49:01,485
- You took it, of course.
- Certainly.
664
00:49:01,571 --> 00:49:05,662
If I refused, Mr. Zerbe implied
that he could have England's legs broken.
665
00:49:06,006 --> 00:49:08,139
It seems that this island
is about to be bought...
666
00:49:08,225 --> 00:49:09,792
and that the government is ready to sell it.
667
00:49:09,923 --> 00:49:11,313
Apparently, you and your friend Ernest...
668
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,533
are the only things left
standing in the way.
669
00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:14,792
What do you mean, "bought"?
670
00:49:14,923 --> 00:49:17,749
The people, the government,
the businesses, the natural resources.
671
00:49:17,836 --> 00:49:19,186
It happens all the time.
672
00:49:19,272 --> 00:49:20,534
Who's Mr. Big?
673
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,621
Mr. Big has yet to make
a public appearance...
674
00:49:22,707 --> 00:49:26,143
but I've noticed that every time that
wonderful old tugboat heaves into port...
675
00:49:26,232 --> 00:49:30,144
our Prime Minister starts scurrying around
like a mongoose in heat.
676
00:49:30,492 --> 00:49:34,712
- What do they want with a dive like this?
- Frankly, I can't imagine, but...
677
00:49:34,886 --> 00:49:36,581
as the representative of Great Britain...
678
00:49:36,669 --> 00:49:40,104
I feel it may be a matter of vital interest
to my government.
679
00:49:40,190 --> 00:49:44,191
I would even say that if someone,
perhaps someone with nothing to lose...
680
00:49:44,279 --> 00:49:47,192
who may be leaving the island anyway,
were to get on board that ship...
681
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:51,498
and provide some useful intelligence,
my government might be very grateful.
682
00:49:53,369 --> 00:49:55,368
No. Thank the Queen for me...
683
00:49:55,456 --> 00:49:58,848
but tell her my brother's a queen and even
he doesn't want me to spy for England.
684
00:49:58,936 --> 00:50:00,760
Nah. Thanks, but no thanks.
685
00:50:58,866 --> 00:51:00,172
What if the crew wakes up?
686
00:51:00,255 --> 00:51:04,649
They're all at the marina bar. Don't worry,
I'll be on and off in two minutes.
687
00:51:05,259 --> 00:51:07,214
You stay here and honk
if there's any trouble...
688
00:51:07,301 --> 00:51:08,562
Wait a minute!
689
00:51:09,956 --> 00:51:13,652
This is helium. God damn it!
I brought the wrong tank.
690
00:51:14,216 --> 00:51:16,262
Forget it. I'll go without it.
691
00:51:16,563 --> 00:51:19,652
- Jack, I'm going with you, man.
- Fine, we'll both go.
692
00:51:20,348 --> 00:51:22,434
Oh, that's a nice buzz.
693
00:51:23,306 --> 00:51:24,612
Oh, boy.
694
00:51:51,618 --> 00:51:52,793
Shh!
695
00:51:58,706 --> 00:51:59,925
Come on.
696
00:52:04,319 --> 00:52:06,709
What are you, a duck? Come on.
697
00:52:08,622 --> 00:52:10,014
What is it?
698
00:52:11,230 --> 00:52:13,144
It's the new Saint Nicholas.
699
00:52:13,971 --> 00:52:17,712
Yeah, I see their plan now.
There's a new international airport...
700
00:52:18,801 --> 00:52:20,670
high-rise hotels...
701
00:52:20,930 --> 00:52:24,540
- Iots of luxury condos for the rich folks.
- Where's my house?
702
00:52:25,324 --> 00:52:27,108
Right there,
next to the nuclear power plant.
703
00:52:27,195 --> 00:52:30,236
But the good news is you won't have
far to walk to work in that factory...
704
00:52:30,322 --> 00:52:33,411
where they'll probably have you
sewing labels on designer jeans.
705
00:52:33,542 --> 00:52:34,933
Where's our club?
706
00:52:35,326 --> 00:52:37,327
I've seen the future, Sparky,
and we're not in it.
707
00:52:37,414 --> 00:52:39,326
- Freeze!
- Police!
708
00:52:51,287 --> 00:52:54,720
- What are you doing out here?
- Just seeing that all is well.
709
00:52:55,416 --> 00:52:57,115
- Is it?
- No.
710
00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:03,768
Guard! Guard!
711
00:53:03,854 --> 00:53:05,593
What you wanting, man?
712
00:53:05,679 --> 00:53:08,813
Nothing. I just always
wanted to do that with a cup.
713
00:53:09,727 --> 00:53:10,772
Hey...
714
00:53:10,858 --> 00:53:13,814
you said I was allowed one call. A blue jay.
715
00:53:15,858 --> 00:53:17,989
Will you please hold my messages?
716
00:53:30,559 --> 00:53:34,907
Come on, look on the bright side. I heard
this place is going co-ed in a month.
717
00:53:34,994 --> 00:53:38,213
This is just the beginning, man.
We know too much now.
718
00:53:38,385 --> 00:53:40,516
We got the best beach on the island,
and they know it.
719
00:53:40,604 --> 00:53:43,259
And they ain't gonna stop until they get it.
720
00:53:43,389 --> 00:53:47,301
This may be a Garden of Eden,
but Gundy's not God and I'm not moving.
721
00:53:48,345 --> 00:53:50,387
Good morning, gentlemen.
722
00:53:51,825 --> 00:53:55,781
- I trust you had a pleasant night.
- Oh, it was fabulous.
723
00:53:55,955 --> 00:53:59,741
You got yourself a real flea circus
going here. Come on, boy, jump.
724
00:54:00,129 --> 00:54:02,697
I won't mince words with you,
Mr. Moniker.
725
00:54:03,393 --> 00:54:07,787
There are some very important people
with very important plans for this island.
726
00:54:08,394 --> 00:54:12,045
- We must have your property.
- Over my dead body, Mr. Gundy.
727
00:54:13,090 --> 00:54:16,830
- That too can be arranged, Ernest.
- You hold it right there, pal.
728
00:54:16,918 --> 00:54:19,093
I got friends in low places, too.
729
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:22,440
You start pushing people around,
sometimes people might push back.
730
00:54:22,571 --> 00:54:24,703
Be that as it may, Mr. Moniker...
731
00:54:25,442 --> 00:54:28,442
you have until tonight
to sell us Club Paradise.
732
00:54:29,096 --> 00:54:30,485
And if we don't?
733
00:54:30,922 --> 00:54:34,878
Then you will be very, very sorry.
734
00:54:35,705 --> 00:54:38,143
Now you both are free to go.
735
00:54:38,794 --> 00:54:41,271
Your lady friend paid your fine.
736
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,099
Attack.
737
00:54:47,015 --> 00:54:49,186
- So I'll see you there.
- I'm coming.
738
00:54:50,580 --> 00:54:51,667
Hell, no.
739
00:54:52,057 --> 00:54:53,102
So long, Constable.
740
00:54:53,188 --> 00:54:56,407
You won't have Jack Moniker to kick
around anymore, even though you tried.
741
00:54:56,494 --> 00:54:59,409
Yep, this is one guy you don't have
to beat twice with a rubber hose.
742
00:54:59,496 --> 00:55:00,713
I got the message.
743
00:55:00,799 --> 00:55:02,930
Nobody do that to me
and get away with it.
744
00:55:03,016 --> 00:55:04,974
All right, Ernest, all right.
745
00:55:05,323 --> 00:55:07,889
What's going on?
What did you do last night?
746
00:55:07,975 --> 00:55:11,802
- Why did you go out to the yacht?
- Well, I went a little crazy. I got paranoid.
747
00:55:11,890 --> 00:55:13,802
I thought that people were out to get me.
748
00:55:13,888 --> 00:55:17,629
Now I know. They are out to get me.
There they are now.
749
00:55:23,328 --> 00:55:25,415
- What about the law?
- The law?
750
00:55:25,807 --> 00:55:30,024
Babe, this is the only country
where the constitution is written in pencil.
751
00:55:32,244 --> 00:55:35,546
- It is so lovely here.
- I hate beauty.
752
00:55:35,851 --> 00:55:39,896
Do you realize how boring it gets
looking at beauty day in and day out?
753
00:55:40,375 --> 00:55:42,726
Anyway, it can't last much longer.
754
00:55:43,465 --> 00:55:46,030
Are you always this cheerful
in the morning?
755
00:55:46,117 --> 00:55:49,115
My dear, the Americans will move in
and turn it into Miami Beach...
756
00:55:49,203 --> 00:55:53,423
or the Russians and Cubans will come and
turn the whole island into bloody Albania.
757
00:55:53,511 --> 00:55:54,857
There really is no hope.
758
00:55:54,943 --> 00:55:58,380
Islands like Saint Nicholas
make such nice missile bases...
759
00:55:58,468 --> 00:56:01,031
naval stations, money laundries.
760
00:56:01,162 --> 00:56:03,120
Well, if there isn't any hope,
why don't you leave?
761
00:56:03,209 --> 00:56:05,860
- Go to New y ork or London.
- No.
762
00:56:06,339 --> 00:56:10,253
If the world is going to hell in a bucket,
I want to hold the handle.
763
00:56:10,863 --> 00:56:13,558
Now, will you excuse me? Ta-ta.
764
00:56:14,385 --> 00:56:16,256
Must see a man about a job.
765
00:56:22,299 --> 00:56:23,343
It's muggy.
766
00:56:23,430 --> 00:56:24,778
Amazing.
767
00:56:25,649 --> 00:56:28,432
Honey, I never knew that Eisenhower
hadn't made up his mind...
768
00:56:28,519 --> 00:56:31,520
whether to be a Democrat
or a Republican until 1955.
769
00:56:33,736 --> 00:56:35,173
I never knew that.
770
00:56:36,957 --> 00:56:38,564
Isn't that incredible?
771
00:56:38,738 --> 00:56:41,043
Jesus Christ! Linda, what are you doing?
772
00:56:41,129 --> 00:56:43,913
Randy, I'm not going home with bra lines.
773
00:56:44,044 --> 00:56:46,393
- Please don't be silly.
- My God, Linda.
774
00:56:47,917 --> 00:56:49,524
We're all adults.
775
00:56:55,525 --> 00:56:57,919
- What are you doing to my wife?
- Can it!
776
00:56:58,398 --> 00:57:00,485
Mrs. White, it's not that
they're not beautiful...
777
00:57:00,571 --> 00:57:03,920
but, you see, there's strict government
regulations against nude sunbathing.
778
00:57:04,006 --> 00:57:07,181
Besides, it's more tantalizing
to conceal than to reveal.
779
00:57:07,268 --> 00:57:09,966
- I never thought of it that way.
- Please do.
780
00:57:13,922 --> 00:57:15,749
Jesus, it's spreading. God damn it!
781
00:57:15,838 --> 00:57:17,879
What are we gonna do, grow it?
That'll take three months.
782
00:57:17,966 --> 00:57:20,186
- Have a better idea?
- Maybe you should have brought some...
783
00:57:20,273 --> 00:57:21,362
instead of so much cologne.
784
00:57:21,448 --> 00:57:23,578
- Hey, Jack, Jack!
- What is it, guys?
785
00:57:23,709 --> 00:57:25,882
Listen, you gotta do us a favor.
786
00:57:25,970 --> 00:57:27,101
- What?
- Big favor.
787
00:57:27,185 --> 00:57:28,840
- What?
- Favor for a favor.
788
00:57:28,926 --> 00:57:31,755
- You do us this favor, and we'll do you...
- What?
789
00:57:33,231 --> 00:57:34,276
Okay.
790
00:57:34,363 --> 00:57:36,755
- We're looking for Johnny.
- Who's Johnny?
791
00:57:36,843 --> 00:57:39,712
No. Smoke, J's, joints, buzz.
792
00:57:39,799 --> 00:57:42,105
Not just a little bit. I want a big bag,
no twigs and sticks...
793
00:57:42,192 --> 00:57:43,498
Clean. It's gotta be clean.
794
00:57:43,582 --> 00:57:45,933
I'm a federal narcotics agent,
and you're both under arrest.
795
00:57:46,019 --> 00:57:47,192
Come on, I was just woofing you.
796
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:50,149
But I could be.
See, there's a lot of heat on me, guys.
797
00:57:50,235 --> 00:57:52,195
If you really want something,
ask that guy over there.
798
00:57:52,281 --> 00:57:53,761
- Don't look!
- Where?
799
00:57:53,892 --> 00:57:57,193
If you get caught, I don't know you, okay?
Be cool.
800
00:57:57,281 --> 00:57:58,456
You got it.
801
00:58:01,108 --> 00:58:02,414
Which guy?
802
00:58:03,762 --> 00:58:05,675
I don't know, I didn't look.
803
00:58:07,068 --> 00:58:11,328
Jackie, that is so obvious.
I can't believe you're doing that.
804
00:58:11,589 --> 00:58:14,809
It's Friday, Mary Lou,
and nothing's happened, yet.
805
00:58:16,374 --> 00:58:19,156
Jackie, please. I don't want to get busted.
806
00:58:19,461 --> 00:58:21,896
Tell you what. I'll make you a deal.
807
00:58:22,070 --> 00:58:26,161
I know a place that's totally secluded.
You can do anything you want.
808
00:58:26,422 --> 00:58:27,811
Sound good?
809
00:58:27,942 --> 00:58:29,160
Hey, everybody!
810
00:58:29,510 --> 00:58:32,855
Who's up for a nude orgy picnic
at Devil's Hole?
811
00:58:32,942 --> 00:58:34,901
- I am!
- I am!
812
00:58:41,469 --> 00:58:45,034
- You coming? It's the last chance.
- No, man, I got to wait for Johnny.
813
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:46,339
Hey, Jackson.
814
00:58:47,166 --> 00:58:48,167
Hi.
815
00:58:51,035 --> 00:58:52,209
Hello.
816
00:58:53,472 --> 00:58:55,863
Barry, you gotta come.
Let's go. Nude beach!
817
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:58,691
Man, the deal's cut. The weed's coming.
One of us has gotta stay here.
818
00:58:58,778 --> 00:59:01,952
- It's a nude beach!
- One of us has gotta stay here.
819
00:59:03,735 --> 00:59:05,215
I'll catch you later.
820
00:59:05,299 --> 00:59:07,605
Besides, I want to try this thing, anyway.
821
00:59:07,693 --> 00:59:09,825
I'll tool around here for a while.
822
00:59:09,912 --> 00:59:12,478
It's good for the lats, good for the pecs.
823
00:59:20,567 --> 00:59:22,391
Hey, I'm doing it!
824
00:59:29,959 --> 00:59:33,873
Hey, watch your front knee,
and tilt the mast forward.
825
01:00:14,277 --> 01:00:17,929
You see, I don't want to get into a political
discussion here, but Communism...
826
01:00:18,016 --> 01:00:20,191
- will not work in a country like this.
- Oh, no.
827
01:00:20,278 --> 01:00:24,148
Communism will not attract
women 18 to 26, for instance.
828
01:00:26,367 --> 01:00:28,628
Gee, I love being naked. It's great.
829
01:00:29,237 --> 01:00:31,237
- How about you?
- I thought I did, but I don't.
830
01:00:31,325 --> 01:00:32,582
Come on, take your clothes off.
831
01:00:32,670 --> 01:00:34,934
- Get undressed. We'll go for a jog.
- No, thank you.
832
01:00:35,021 --> 01:00:36,109
No?
833
01:00:41,369 --> 01:00:45,763
He's gonna be here in about 10 minutes.
I really think we should get dressed.
834
01:00:45,850 --> 01:00:49,153
Randy, I want to be naked
for the rest of my life.
835
01:00:49,241 --> 01:00:53,244
Oh, for Christ's sake!
I know we should have gone to Acapulco.
836
01:01:01,203 --> 01:01:03,462
- What are you looking for?
- Our clothes are gone.
837
01:01:03,549 --> 01:01:06,462
- What do you mean, our clothes are gone?
- Well...
838
01:01:07,376 --> 01:01:09,989
All right!
They left our cameras and watches.
839
01:01:11,377 --> 01:01:14,292
Big, hairy deal. We're naked, you jerk.
840
01:01:14,509 --> 01:01:17,248
Well, so what?
We've been naked all afternoon.
841
01:01:17,379 --> 01:01:19,468
Well, I hadn't planned
on walking through town this way.
842
01:01:19,554 --> 01:01:20,643
Come on, let's get out of here.
843
01:01:20,730 --> 01:01:23,164
You know what?
I'm just gonna wait here for Island Jack.
844
01:01:23,252 --> 01:01:26,208
Because I think it's stupid to go off
without knowing where you're going.
845
01:01:26,295 --> 01:01:29,600
Did it occur to you whoever took our
clothes could be watching us right now...
846
01:01:29,688 --> 01:01:31,255
and we don't know what they want?
847
01:01:31,341 --> 01:01:32,557
Obviously not.
848
01:01:32,644 --> 01:01:35,340
All right. I suggest what we do
is we walk very calmly...
849
01:01:35,383 --> 01:01:38,166
in single file off this beach,
and we don't stop for anything.
850
01:01:38,253 --> 01:01:41,257
All right, let's go.
In single file, and I mean you.
851
01:01:42,822 --> 01:01:44,300
Who died and made him boss?
852
01:01:55,390 --> 01:01:57,041
There might be poisonous snakes here.
853
01:01:57,128 --> 01:01:59,653
No, there are no snakes.
They introduced the mongoose here...
854
01:01:59,781 --> 01:02:02,262
a long time ago.
The mongoose, of course, kills snakes.
855
01:02:02,348 --> 01:02:06,175
- What's a mongoose?
- It's a big rat about a foot long...
856
01:02:06,349 --> 01:02:08,002
with great big teeth.
857
01:02:08,175 --> 01:02:10,870
- This must be north.
- North, schmorth.
858
01:02:11,045 --> 01:02:12,438
What are we doing, making a map?
859
01:02:12,525 --> 01:02:14,832
What are you, Marco Polo?
We just want to get out of here.
860
01:02:14,918 --> 01:02:16,830
If we don't know
what direction we're going in...
861
01:02:16,918 --> 01:02:18,831
we could be going in circles, you fool.
862
01:02:18,917 --> 01:02:20,311
I, for one, am getting very hungry.
863
01:02:20,396 --> 01:02:22,526
Don't worry, honey,
I think that's wild sugarcane.
864
01:02:22,614 --> 01:02:25,138
Randy, I'm not about to eat real sugar.
865
01:02:25,225 --> 01:02:28,311
Yeah, we'll find you a Sweet'N Low field.
Would you move?
866
01:02:28,399 --> 01:02:30,921
I hope that was your finger.
867
01:02:46,883 --> 01:02:50,840
I could have done the same dive myself
if I didn't have this diarrhea.
868
01:02:51,059 --> 01:02:52,275
Oh, boy.
869
01:02:59,061 --> 01:03:00,407
This is perfect.
870
01:03:00,799 --> 01:03:04,148
I've lost my money, I've lost my club,
and now I've lost my guests.
871
01:03:04,236 --> 01:03:06,060
Well, maybe they took a hike.
872
01:03:06,148 --> 01:03:08,411
No, this is not a hiking crowd.
873
01:03:12,107 --> 01:03:15,238
That's it, Randy. I can't go on.
874
01:03:15,455 --> 01:03:18,412
Don't give up, baby.
We're almost out of here.
875
01:03:18,500 --> 01:03:22,501
We've been tramping around here for
three hours. There's no way out of here.
876
01:03:22,587 --> 01:03:23,936
No, we're close.
877
01:03:24,282 --> 01:03:28,109
I can sense it, almost smell it.
You know, I was a boy scout, honey.
878
01:03:28,763 --> 01:03:32,938
I've been watching the sun all afternoon
and sighting on that mountaintop.
879
01:03:33,503 --> 01:03:35,329
I've been keeping
the mountain on our right...
880
01:03:35,416 --> 01:03:38,416
and walking perpendicular
to the line of the sun's movement.
881
01:03:38,546 --> 01:03:40,419
We're okay, honey. Trust me.
882
01:03:40,723 --> 01:03:44,115
Besides, I know for a fact that the island
is only 7 miles across...
883
01:03:44,203 --> 01:03:47,942
at its widest point, which would be
from Puerto Maria on the north coast...
884
01:03:48,030 --> 01:03:50,595
to Prince Charlestown on the south coast.
885
01:03:50,725 --> 01:03:52,596
So even if we had to cross
from shore to shore...
886
01:03:52,727 --> 01:03:55,117
the longest it would take
would be four hours...
887
01:03:55,205 --> 01:03:57,902
even if we had to average
less than 2 miles an hour.
888
01:03:57,944 --> 01:03:59,639
No, we'll be okay.
889
01:04:00,249 --> 01:04:03,774
- I'm sure of it. Don't worry about a thing.
- Randy.
890
01:04:05,468 --> 01:04:08,817
You know what's funny, honey?
I like it out here.
891
01:04:10,297 --> 01:04:13,297
It's primal and it's honest.
892
01:04:13,384 --> 01:04:15,953
You don't survive the jungle
in a tie and a suit.
893
01:04:16,036 --> 01:04:20,908
You survive with pure animal instinct.
God, my senses are alive.
894
01:04:21,343 --> 01:04:24,561
When I'm out here,
I ask the really big questions, like:
895
01:04:24,867 --> 01:04:27,256
"Is it man against nature, or is it...
896
01:04:27,431 --> 01:04:31,085
"man in harmony with nature?"
The latter, I think.
897
01:04:32,304 --> 01:04:34,694
You know what I'm talking about, honey?
898
01:04:35,782 --> 01:04:38,216
It's a snake! Don't panic!
899
01:04:38,609 --> 01:04:41,347
It's a Burmese.
They're swallowers, not biters.
900
01:04:41,652 --> 01:04:42,827
I... Linda!
901
01:04:43,347 --> 01:04:44,740
Linda!
902
01:04:55,526 --> 01:04:58,397
Yeah, they'll come back, in little boxes.
903
01:04:58,876 --> 01:05:00,788
Pansy, double. Anything.
904
01:05:01,267 --> 01:05:04,050
- We got a big problem, Mr. Monkey.
- Don't tell me about it, Pansy.
905
01:05:04,094 --> 01:05:06,092
We lost one of them sailboards.
906
01:05:06,485 --> 01:05:07,704
What do you mean, "lost"?
907
01:05:07,790 --> 01:05:10,660
Someone took it out,
and they didn't bring it back.
908
01:05:10,747 --> 01:05:13,399
- Which someone?
- Named Barry.
909
01:05:13,486 --> 01:05:14,618
Oh, God.
910
01:05:14,706 --> 01:05:18,272
- Those cost a lot of money. Where is he?
- He didn't come back, neither.
911
01:05:18,358 --> 01:05:22,142
Desmond say he see him go way, way out.
912
01:05:22,489 --> 01:05:24,057
Say he was good, too.
913
01:05:24,359 --> 01:05:25,491
Oh, my God.
914
01:05:25,579 --> 01:05:28,490
That's 10 people lost in one day.
What is this, the Bermuda Triangle?
915
01:05:28,578 --> 01:05:31,145
- Shouldn't we call the police?
- No, no. No, don't.
916
01:05:31,233 --> 01:05:34,537
I think they'll be calling me real soon.
Now, remain calm.
917
01:05:34,625 --> 01:05:35,710
We'll go down to the marina.
918
01:05:35,797 --> 01:05:38,232
We'll get as many boats out there
as possible and look for him.
919
01:05:38,319 --> 01:05:40,756
Pansy, do me a favor.
Tell all the survivors, I mean, guests...
920
01:05:40,842 --> 01:05:43,276
to stay in their room, big storm coming.
921
01:05:43,363 --> 01:05:45,889
- Okay? No problem.
- No problem.
922
01:05:58,283 --> 01:06:01,412
Help! Help!
923
01:06:03,632 --> 01:06:04,808
Help!
924
01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:07,892
- Help, yes. Help, help.
- Hello.
925
01:06:10,330 --> 01:06:12,895
Help me, you schmucks!
926
01:06:25,552 --> 01:06:27,071
Wait. Wait, listen.
927
01:06:29,118 --> 01:06:31,682
- Is that music?
- Yeah.
928
01:06:31,945 --> 01:06:33,333
That's a blender.
929
01:06:33,465 --> 01:06:36,076
- Civilization. Let's go!
- We're saved!
930
01:06:36,294 --> 01:06:37,770
- Come on!
- Oh, God!
931
01:06:48,122 --> 01:06:49,383
Hello.
932
01:06:49,557 --> 01:06:51,774
- We've been in the woods, so the leaf.
- Hey, gorgeous.
933
01:06:51,862 --> 01:06:55,383
Look at this. We walk into the Taj Mahal,
and I'm wearing a towel.
934
01:06:55,471 --> 01:06:57,516
This is completely humiliating.
935
01:06:58,909 --> 01:07:00,604
And I am wearing a leaf!
936
01:07:03,212 --> 01:07:05,254
- Any luck?
- No, not a trace.
937
01:07:06,038 --> 01:07:08,083
They finally called off the search.
938
01:07:08,172 --> 01:07:11,041
Five miles out,
I thought I saw a shark flossing.
939
01:07:11,649 --> 01:07:13,737
Anything I can do to help?
940
01:07:14,041 --> 01:07:16,519
Yeah. You ever heard
of a Chinese basket job?
941
01:07:16,606 --> 01:07:19,174
No, but it sounds like fun.
942
01:07:19,783 --> 01:07:22,609
Philadelphia,
I should have taken your advice.
943
01:07:22,784 --> 01:07:24,434
I'm not cut out for this.
944
01:07:24,566 --> 01:07:27,043
Why don't I just sell to Gundy
and get the hell out of here?
945
01:07:27,130 --> 01:07:29,090
You can't give up now.
You've worked hard for this.
946
01:07:29,177 --> 01:07:31,874
What would happen to Ernest
if you leave? He needs you.
947
01:07:31,961 --> 01:07:34,483
You can't lie on the beach all day
and pretend nothing's wrong.
948
01:07:34,570 --> 01:07:36,570
"No man is an island," Jack.
949
01:07:37,223 --> 01:07:41,484
What the hell does that mean?
No man is a woman, either. God.
950
01:07:49,354 --> 01:07:50,572
Hello?
951
01:07:51,704 --> 01:07:52,880
Really?
952
01:07:53,010 --> 01:07:54,139
- They're safe.
- Great.
953
01:07:54,226 --> 01:07:56,140
They found the others
at the Royal Saint Nicholas.
954
01:07:56,227 --> 01:07:58,576
We'll be right there. Thank you.
955
01:08:01,532 --> 01:08:03,665
All right, ladies,
let's hit the blackjack tables.
956
01:08:03,752 --> 01:08:06,838
- I think we'll have a drink first.
- Yeah, you guys go ahead and go.
957
01:08:06,926 --> 01:08:09,144
- All right. Let's party.
- Okay.
958
01:08:09,797 --> 01:08:10,925
Thank you.
959
01:08:11,012 --> 01:08:14,363
- Well, I guess my luck has changed, huh?
- I don't think so.
960
01:08:15,495 --> 01:08:19,015
Hey, pal, where the hell did you go?
I was about to send your name to Ripley's.
961
01:08:19,102 --> 01:08:21,406
Yeah, well, somebody stole our clothes.
962
01:08:21,536 --> 01:08:23,626
And then Albert Schweitzer
over there panicked...
963
01:08:23,713 --> 01:08:26,020
and we ended up taking a shortcut
through the suburbs.
964
01:08:26,106 --> 01:08:27,844
I'm telling you, it was fruit city out there.
965
01:08:27,931 --> 01:08:29,539
The bus leaves in five minutes, be on it...
966
01:08:29,627 --> 01:08:31,411
or I'm sending those pictures
of you eating pork.
967
01:08:31,498 --> 01:08:33,585
Gather the rest of our flock.
I'll round up the strays.
968
01:08:33,671 --> 01:08:35,151
Okay, come on.
969
01:08:37,629 --> 01:08:39,761
Come on, baby. Kiss it.
970
01:08:41,892 --> 01:08:44,717
Come on. Mama feels good tonight.
971
01:08:45,371 --> 01:08:47,634
- Number!
- Shoot, crap two. Line away.
972
01:08:49,632 --> 01:08:53,548
Honey, that's over $1,000 already.
Don't you think it's time to quit?
973
01:08:53,635 --> 01:08:56,809
Randy, I want to get to a place
where I don't care about money.
974
01:08:56,896 --> 01:08:59,028
And I want you to get there with me.
975
01:08:59,159 --> 01:09:01,986
Come on, red devil! Yeah!
976
01:09:02,897 --> 01:09:05,070
Two crap two. Line away.
977
01:09:06,549 --> 01:09:09,205
- Open up a line of credit.
- No! That's it. No more.
978
01:09:09,292 --> 01:09:12,205
You gonna quit while you're down?
I thought you were a plastic surgeon.
979
01:09:12,291 --> 01:09:15,336
You shave a couple of schnozzes,
and you can retire for life.
980
01:09:15,423 --> 01:09:17,379
Listen, Doc. Let her have some fun.
981
01:09:17,509 --> 01:09:18,858
The thing you do with women is...
982
01:09:18,945 --> 01:09:21,292
buy them anything they want,
agree with whatever they say...
983
01:09:21,380 --> 01:09:23,512
make them happy,
and jump them when they're not looking.
984
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,077
And you call that a philosophy?
985
01:09:25,164 --> 01:09:26,253
How you doing tonight?
986
01:09:26,339 --> 01:09:28,729
Looks like lady luck took a hike on you.
You ready to go home?
987
01:09:28,816 --> 01:09:31,689
No, we've decided to stay here
for the rest of the week.
988
01:09:31,777 --> 01:09:36,167
- You'll be paying for it the rest of your life.
- Honey, could you get me $1,000 in chips?
989
01:09:36,255 --> 01:09:39,907
That's it. I think you're having
too much fun. Come on.
990
01:09:40,429 --> 01:09:43,299
- So, the fireman.
- So, the middleman.
991
01:09:43,605 --> 01:09:45,649
- How you doing?
- Not so good.
992
01:09:45,864 --> 01:09:48,258
What a business, huh?
People are a pain in the ass.
993
01:09:48,346 --> 01:09:51,476
People are all right.
It's the business I can't stand.
994
01:09:51,868 --> 01:09:53,912
You look like a smart guy.
995
01:09:53,997 --> 01:09:57,520
I don't know why you're knocking your
brains out in a shit hole like that, anyway.
996
01:09:57,608 --> 01:09:59,955
Why don't you let somebody
put up a real hotel there?
997
01:10:00,041 --> 01:10:02,087
- Like you?
- Could be.
998
01:10:03,349 --> 01:10:07,351
I'd see to it that you got out of here safe
with a little money in your pocket besides.
999
01:10:07,438 --> 01:10:08,959
What do you think?
1000
01:10:14,048 --> 01:10:16,960
- Hit me.
- Gonna hit an 18?
1001
01:10:18,655 --> 01:10:20,049
Twenty-one.
1002
01:10:20,789 --> 01:10:23,309
You're a little crazy. I like that.
1003
01:10:23,919 --> 01:10:26,183
- Keep playing.
- No, thanks.
1004
01:10:26,269 --> 01:10:29,572
Crazy, but I'm not stupid.
Thanks for the offer.
1005
01:10:32,441 --> 01:10:34,749
You're fired. Your luck is rotten.
1006
01:10:34,879 --> 01:10:37,531
- I'm fired?
- Nah, wait.
1007
01:10:37,618 --> 01:10:40,967
- Not your fault. You're not fired.
- Thank you, sir.
1008
01:10:41,097 --> 01:10:43,227
Now you're fired! Get out of here.
1009
01:10:44,838 --> 01:10:47,622
Can I get you a drink
while you're waiting for a new dealer?
1010
01:11:45,116 --> 01:11:47,378
Would you excuse me for one second?
1011
01:11:51,988 --> 01:11:54,074
- Can you do me a really big favor?
- No.
1012
01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:57,726
I got two chicks lined up over there
that are hot to trot.
1013
01:11:57,945 --> 01:12:01,162
I can't find my friend Barry anywhere.
I don't know where the hell he is.
1014
01:12:01,250 --> 01:12:04,514
- Can you join us?
- Are you insane? I'm a married man.
1015
01:12:05,598 --> 01:12:07,598
Yeah, nice marriage.
1016
01:12:08,295 --> 01:12:11,425
You just have to talk to them.
You just have to be nice. They love me.
1017
01:12:11,513 --> 01:12:14,428
We're in, I'm telling you.
We'll dance, have the time of our lives.
1018
01:12:14,516 --> 01:12:16,167
I'll go back to my room.
I'll get some weed.
1019
01:12:16,254 --> 01:12:18,427
Do you know what I'm saying?
This is the night. Okay?
1020
01:12:18,515 --> 01:12:22,167
Just go over and keep them occupied
for a couple of minutes. Go, go, go!
1021
01:12:22,254 --> 01:12:22,907
I'll be right back.
1022
01:12:26,084 --> 01:12:27,257
Barry!
1023
01:12:30,388 --> 01:12:32,823
Who's there? All right.
1024
01:12:33,649 --> 01:12:35,521
What the hell is this?
1025
01:12:42,955 --> 01:12:44,783
Oh, my God.
1026
01:12:46,133 --> 01:12:47,482
We scored!
1027
01:12:49,568 --> 01:12:50,960
We scored!
1028
01:12:51,480 --> 01:12:55,438
The score of the century!
1029
01:13:00,962 --> 01:13:02,788
There's so much.
1030
01:13:04,830 --> 01:13:06,485
There's too much.
1031
01:13:07,180 --> 01:13:09,313
This is the wrong bag. This is...
1032
01:13:09,836 --> 01:13:12,313
This is a mistake. This is...
1033
01:13:13,835 --> 01:13:16,530
It's gonna take 20 years
to smoke this stuff.
1034
01:13:17,096 --> 01:13:20,012
I'm gonna get 20 years for this.
That's what's gonna happen.
1035
01:13:20,099 --> 01:13:22,706
Twenty years for a mistake.
1036
01:13:27,533 --> 01:13:30,317
Please. Yes, I'll hold.
1037
01:13:30,405 --> 01:13:33,884
- Anything?
- It's a long shot, but I'm trying.
1038
01:13:35,493 --> 01:13:36,885
Mr. Gundy.
1039
01:13:37,839 --> 01:13:40,843
I'll say this for you, you're prompt.
When you threaten somebody...
1040
01:13:40,930 --> 01:13:43,495
- you're right on time.
- Enough insults.
1041
01:13:44,060 --> 01:13:47,192
You have had more than enough time
to consider my offer.
1042
01:13:47,452 --> 01:13:51,106
Now I want an answer.
Are you ready to sell?
1043
01:13:53,543 --> 01:13:56,108
To tell you the truth,
it wasn't much of an offer.
1044
01:13:56,238 --> 01:14:00,020
Besides, we've been so damn busy today,
we haven't had a chance to think about it.
1045
01:14:00,108 --> 01:14:02,936
We'll need more time on this,
like maybe a year.
1046
01:14:03,328 --> 01:14:04,372
No.
1047
01:14:05,284 --> 01:14:07,024
Your time has come.
1048
01:14:27,028 --> 01:14:28,681
- Take them!
- Take them.
1049
01:14:28,769 --> 01:14:30,246
Let's go. Let's go.
1050
01:14:31,030 --> 01:14:33,421
No problem, I will talk to them.
I will reason with them.
1051
01:14:33,508 --> 01:14:35,119
They've got guns.
1052
01:14:36,468 --> 01:14:38,554
They do have guns. I love you.
1053
01:14:39,294 --> 01:14:42,686
Pardon me. Mr. Reed,
we have a conference with you outside.
1054
01:14:46,252 --> 01:14:47,601
After him!
1055
01:14:52,339 --> 01:14:54,383
- This way, this way.
- Here!
1056
01:15:00,690 --> 01:15:01,778
Jack!
1057
01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:08,781
Do you believe this?
1058
01:15:46,877 --> 01:15:50,138
This is nice. Kind of a harvest motif.
1059
01:15:51,268 --> 01:15:53,619
You better get out of here, Jack.
1060
01:15:54,139 --> 01:15:55,618
What are you gonna do?
1061
01:15:55,705 --> 01:15:58,706
- I've got friends here, they'll help me.
- Help you what?
1062
01:15:58,794 --> 01:16:03,185
There's a sickness in this place,
and I'm the doctor. It's time to operate.
1063
01:16:03,274 --> 01:16:04,967
Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.
1064
01:16:05,056 --> 01:16:07,750
Out of my way, Jack.
I don't want to hurt you.
1065
01:16:10,882 --> 01:16:13,407
- Good luck.
- Just cool, Jack.
1066
01:16:14,406 --> 01:16:16,014
"Just cool, Jack."
1067
01:16:16,144 --> 01:16:18,405
Sure, go start a revolution!
1068
01:16:18,841 --> 01:16:21,101
It's not going to look good
on your r�sum�, you know!
1069
01:16:21,188 --> 01:16:22,885
God damn it!
1070
01:16:22,972 --> 01:16:25,670
You hear me? We're finished as partners!
1071
01:16:25,844 --> 01:16:28,410
I'm going back to Chicago where it's safe.
1072
01:16:28,976 --> 01:16:31,843
Help! Help!
1073
01:16:32,234 --> 01:16:34,455
Anybody, help me!
1074
01:16:46,328 --> 01:16:48,806
Gentlemen, I just spoke
to the owner of Club Paradise...
1075
01:16:48,893 --> 01:16:51,197
and believe me, he is dying to sell.
1076
01:16:51,327 --> 01:16:54,066
We were expecting signed documents
this morning.
1077
01:16:54,153 --> 01:16:56,721
Let's face it, Heinz,
we're not in Switzerland.
1078
01:16:56,810 --> 01:16:58,549
With all due respects
to the Prime Minister...
1079
01:16:58,637 --> 01:17:00,549
you can't even get
a piece of carbon paper here...
1080
01:17:00,635 --> 01:17:02,243
that hasn't been used 100 times already.
1081
01:17:02,331 --> 01:17:05,114
But we are close. We're very, very close.
1082
01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:08,986
- Oh, very, very close.
- Excellent.
1083
01:17:09,813 --> 01:17:11,899
Now, if you will excuse me...
1084
01:17:11,987 --> 01:17:14,684
I know you have urgent business,
Mr. Gundy, but before you go...
1085
01:17:14,814 --> 01:17:18,031
I have a little surprise for you.
1086
01:17:18,249 --> 01:17:20,382
Because you have been so cooperative...
1087
01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:24,511
we have taken the liberty
of designing a new residence for you...
1088
01:17:24,641 --> 01:17:27,903
to be built
in the first phase of construction.
1089
01:17:28,033 --> 01:17:30,950
Incredible! The guy's got a heart
like Dumbo.
1090
01:17:32,339 --> 01:17:34,730
Dumbo the elephant, with the big ears.
1091
01:17:35,079 --> 01:17:37,513
Like him. Not the ears, the heart.
1092
01:17:38,384 --> 01:17:40,647
Forget it. Sol, let me walk you out.
1093
01:17:41,517 --> 01:17:42,863
I thank you.
1094
01:17:46,735 --> 01:17:48,385
Sol, what's going on?
1095
01:17:48,428 --> 01:17:50,256
I wake up this morning,
no coffee, no waiters...
1096
01:17:50,387 --> 01:17:52,825
no phone, no mail,
no electricity, no nothing.
1097
01:17:52,911 --> 01:17:54,737
You've got a general strike here.
1098
01:17:54,823 --> 01:17:57,520
I will crush Ernest Reed.
1099
01:17:57,738 --> 01:18:01,217
Okay. Don't bust a blood vessel.
You want a stroke? A stroke is this.
1100
01:18:01,303 --> 01:18:02,870
You think that's a good look?
1101
01:18:02,957 --> 01:18:05,435
Now you gotta slow down
and figure this out.
1102
01:18:05,522 --> 01:18:08,741
Now, go after Reed if you have to.
But first, settle this strike.
1103
01:18:08,829 --> 01:18:11,261
Raise the minimum wage to $1 a day.
1104
01:18:11,871 --> 01:18:13,351
Sure, it's only fair.
1105
01:18:13,439 --> 01:18:16,613
$1 a day. Give a man some dignity,
for crying out loud.
1106
01:18:16,699 --> 01:18:20,832
But do something, Sol. I've got 150 pounds
of lobster melting in my freezer.
1107
01:18:20,959 --> 01:18:23,962
I will eat his bones.
1108
01:18:27,093 --> 01:18:28,225
Where is everything?
1109
01:18:28,311 --> 01:18:31,618
Where's the eggs, and the bacon,
and all the other stuff that's usually here?
1110
01:18:31,704 --> 01:18:34,965
And, Randy, where's my bran?
You know, I can't start a day without fiber.
1111
01:18:35,053 --> 01:18:39,054
We're not feeding that pirate $100 a day
for Rice Krispies and a banana.
1112
01:18:39,140 --> 01:18:43,618
Have you seen any of the staff?
We have no towels, nor any toilet paper.
1113
01:18:43,705 --> 01:18:47,057
- Well, why don't you call housekeeping?
- We have no phone.
1114
01:18:47,491 --> 01:18:49,969
Good morning! Anybody hungry?
1115
01:18:50,056 --> 01:18:52,622
Is anybody crazy? Where's breakfast?
1116
01:18:52,709 --> 01:18:56,623
Well, today we got something special.
Breakfast Jump-Up.
1117
01:18:56,711 --> 01:18:58,146
And what is Breakfast Jump-Up?
1118
01:18:58,233 --> 01:19:01,971
Well, it's when you jump up
and make your own breakfast.
1119
01:19:26,024 --> 01:19:27,326
I'm alive!
1120
01:19:28,457 --> 01:19:31,634
I'm alive! I made it! I'm alive!
1121
01:19:36,330 --> 01:19:37,677
I made it.
1122
01:19:40,070 --> 01:19:43,245
Okay. Stay cool. Stay cool.
1123
01:19:43,592 --> 01:19:46,942
Stay cool.
Got to figure out where I am. Figure...
1124
01:19:47,856 --> 01:19:50,420
Figure 16, 18 hours out there, maybe.
1125
01:19:50,769 --> 01:19:54,030
Figure 10 miles an hour or knots.
1126
01:19:54,726 --> 01:19:59,509
Allow for the Gulf Stream
and a headwind, that would put me...
1127
01:20:00,814 --> 01:20:04,339
I have no idea. I don't know where I am.
What am I, a captain?
1128
01:20:04,424 --> 01:20:06,121
Stay cool. Stay cool.
1129
01:20:06,949 --> 01:20:08,861
Got to think clear now.
1130
01:20:10,119 --> 01:20:12,992
First thing I got to do, build a house.
1131
01:20:13,819 --> 01:20:16,993
People of Saint Nicholas!
1132
01:20:17,820 --> 01:20:21,863
Today is a day that will live in infamosity.
1133
01:20:23,212 --> 01:20:25,388
A day that Ernest Reed...
1134
01:20:25,518 --> 01:20:28,910
and his subversive American comrade,
Jack Moniker...
1135
01:20:29,170 --> 01:20:33,475
are threatening the peace
and prosperity of this...
1136
01:20:33,605 --> 01:20:37,564
our ancestral, if not native, home!
1137
01:20:40,868 --> 01:20:43,260
I, therefore, declare...
1138
01:20:43,608 --> 01:20:47,350
a national state of emergency.
1139
01:20:47,872 --> 01:20:51,698
I impose martial law.
1140
01:20:51,915 --> 01:20:53,741
And I order...
1141
01:20:53,870 --> 01:20:56,178
all members of the...
1142
01:20:56,264 --> 01:21:00,221
National Defense Reserve Army Guard...
1143
01:21:00,658 --> 01:21:04,569
to report immediately for active duty.
1144
01:21:05,352 --> 01:21:08,791
- Excuse me. I have a phone call to make.
- Don't you go starting any wild rumors.
1145
01:21:08,878 --> 01:21:10,354
Let me start them.
1146
01:21:15,441 --> 01:21:17,009
I wouldn't even call it a revolution.
1147
01:21:17,096 --> 01:21:19,577
What is it? A bunch of farmers
with rakes and shovels.
1148
01:21:19,663 --> 01:21:22,054
We're not gonna get an ulcer over this.
1149
01:21:22,446 --> 01:21:24,185
That's what I like
about the Cayman Islands.
1150
01:21:24,272 --> 01:21:26,401
You want to do business, that's the place.
1151
01:21:26,487 --> 01:21:30,014
The three of us could do
some real damage in the Caymans.
1152
01:21:30,624 --> 01:21:34,708
Would you cancel that last call
and transfer it to the Cayman Islands?
1153
01:21:36,712 --> 01:21:39,407
Good gracious, it's the fireman.
I thought you'd gone.
1154
01:21:39,494 --> 01:21:41,321
People are so quick to flee these days.
1155
01:21:41,408 --> 01:21:44,104
First hint of a war and they start
running like frightened children.
1156
01:21:44,191 --> 01:21:47,541
I was certain you'd be back
in Minnesota, or Dakota, or whatever it is.
1157
01:21:47,628 --> 01:21:50,410
I can't leave here, y our Grace.
I'm supporting thousands of mosquitoes.
1158
01:21:50,496 --> 01:21:51,584
This is paradise.
1159
01:21:51,671 --> 01:21:55,107
You can keep looking for paradise,
but I don't think you'll find it in this world.
1160
01:21:55,194 --> 01:21:56,672
What's your idea of paradise?
1161
01:21:56,758 --> 01:22:00,759
When I think of paradise, I picture myself
in an expensive hotel suite in New y ork...
1162
01:22:00,847 --> 01:22:03,067
with two hopelessly depraved
young women:
1163
01:22:03,153 --> 01:22:07,457
I'd love to join you, but I gotta get back
to the club. See, I'm expecting an army.
1164
01:22:07,544 --> 01:22:09,242
Still the bold fireman?
1165
01:22:09,547 --> 01:22:11,023
You're the same all over the world.
1166
01:22:11,154 --> 01:22:15,071
You like to drive fast,
throw water on things, and leave a mess.
1167
01:22:15,157 --> 01:22:18,242
Yeah, and what about you? You've been
hanging out here for 15 years...
1168
01:22:18,286 --> 01:22:21,025
drinking tea off a lace doily, saying,
"It doesn't matter."
1169
01:22:21,111 --> 01:22:24,289
It does matter, pal, because your
Prime Minister's gone completely nuts.
1170
01:22:24,420 --> 01:22:26,681
And I got a partner down there
about to start a revolution...
1171
01:22:26,767 --> 01:22:30,464
and a lot of innocent people will be hurt
unless you and I do something real fast.
1172
01:22:30,551 --> 01:22:33,420
'Cause it won't just stop there,
'cause if this island goes up...
1173
01:22:33,552 --> 01:22:35,335
then tomorrow another one,
and another one...
1174
01:22:35,422 --> 01:22:37,769
then the Americans get nervous,
and the Russians get scared.
1175
01:22:37,857 --> 01:22:40,249
Then some old fart gets really worried,
pushes the button.
1176
01:22:40,336 --> 01:22:42,469
Hey! There goes Cleveland
in a blinding white flash.
1177
01:22:42,596 --> 01:22:45,120
I got an uncle, Sid, who lives in Cleveland,
makes this noise...
1178
01:22:45,206 --> 01:22:47,427
I don't want that on my conscience. Okay?
1179
01:22:47,514 --> 01:22:48,600
Right!
1180
01:22:48,730 --> 01:22:52,340
You and Ernest go off and start the war.
I'll be there shortly with a nuclear weapon.
1181
01:22:52,426 --> 01:22:53,554
- On our side?
- Of course.
1182
01:22:53,642 --> 01:22:56,341
Oh, be careful of the soldiers.
They'll shoot you on sight.
1183
01:22:56,427 --> 01:22:58,905
Well, I'll take an umbrella. Your Grace.
1184
01:23:22,826 --> 01:23:26,002
You're safe. But you gotta go away.
1185
01:23:26,085 --> 01:23:27,870
Hey, what kind of welcome is that?
1186
01:23:27,958 --> 01:23:31,482
- But what are you doing back here?
- I've gotta put out a fire.
1187
01:23:32,175 --> 01:23:33,351
Come on.
1188
01:23:35,786 --> 01:23:38,351
Morning, everyone.
One brief announcement.
1189
01:23:38,437 --> 01:23:40,048
I'd like you
to gather all your possessions...
1190
01:23:40,134 --> 01:23:42,050
and meet me on the beach in five minutes.
1191
01:23:42,138 --> 01:23:46,310
No need to panic,
it's just in case there's a civil war today.
1192
01:23:46,397 --> 01:23:48,004
- Civil war?
- Civil war?
1193
01:23:50,442 --> 01:23:52,836
Rebels!
1194
01:23:53,054 --> 01:23:57,053
No, come on now, they're not rebels.
Just a local ROTC drill team.
1195
01:23:58,834 --> 01:24:00,922
You and your people
had better get out of here, man.
1196
01:24:01,009 --> 01:24:02,315
You're my people.
1197
01:24:02,402 --> 01:24:04,532
Phillipa is my people.
Why don't we all get out of here?
1198
01:24:04,619 --> 01:24:07,185
- There's no other way.
- What about a live, televised debate?
1199
01:24:07,272 --> 01:24:09,012
We have no TV, man.
1200
01:24:13,797 --> 01:24:16,884
Oh, yeah, rattan's gonna make
a great bulletproof barricade.
1201
01:24:16,971 --> 01:24:20,709
- Why don't you just build a wicker tank?
- The chairs you can grab.
1202
01:25:07,811 --> 01:25:11,507
Wait, wait. Stop right there.
I'm going to get this. Hold on.
1203
01:25:12,117 --> 01:25:13,333
Wait a minute.
1204
01:25:13,464 --> 01:25:15,551
Hold it right there. Don't move.
1205
01:25:21,814 --> 01:25:24,904
- Move it! Get your asses...
- Wait. Wait a second.
1206
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:27,075
Hold it right there. Perfect.
1207
01:25:34,731 --> 01:25:38,035
- Barry!
- Barry! I scored!
1208
01:26:01,217 --> 01:26:02,349
Nice outfit.
1209
01:26:02,435 --> 01:26:04,261
Where'd you get this?
You didn't bring this with.
1210
01:26:04,347 --> 01:26:05,391
No, I just got it.
1211
01:26:05,478 --> 01:26:06,610
- Is it cotton?
- Hopsack.
1212
01:26:06,697 --> 01:26:09,263
- See, that's cool for this climate.
- Yeah.
1213
01:26:10,783 --> 01:26:12,046
Let's go.
1214
01:26:13,090 --> 01:26:16,787
Hold it there, Mr. Gundy.
I got you covered. You're on my property.
1215
01:26:16,873 --> 01:26:18,134
One more move and I'll shoot.
1216
01:26:18,220 --> 01:26:20,525
Hold it right there, Mr. Island Jack.
1217
01:26:20,655 --> 01:26:24,310
I want to know what the hell's going on,
and I want to know right now.
1218
01:26:24,398 --> 01:26:27,964
Listen, buddy, I'm trying to stop a war,
okay? Give me a break.
1219
01:26:29,832 --> 01:26:31,052
Right on.
1220
01:26:31,138 --> 01:26:32,658
- Fire!
- I hear you.
1221
01:26:43,488 --> 01:26:47,057
Limbo time. How low can you go?
Go, go, go!
1222
01:27:12,019 --> 01:27:13,584
Where you going?
1223
01:27:26,629 --> 01:27:27,718
Shit!
1224
01:27:35,808 --> 01:27:37,285
What is this?
1225
01:27:38,850 --> 01:27:42,853
Up, you fools. Please, just get up! Up! Up!
1226
01:27:43,418 --> 01:27:44,505
Onward, troops!
1227
01:27:44,594 --> 01:27:47,938
Go on! Just go on and go! Get them!
1228
01:28:09,597 --> 01:28:11,861
Surrender, Ernest Reed...
1229
01:28:11,947 --> 01:28:14,991
and you will all be released unharmed.
1230
01:28:20,905 --> 01:28:22,472
He's not here!
1231
01:28:23,996 --> 01:28:25,518
Kill them all!
1232
01:28:26,995 --> 01:28:28,518
No prisoners!
1233
01:28:28,994 --> 01:28:31,865
I don't want to die, Randy!
I don't want to die...
1234
01:28:32,996 --> 01:28:34,563
- Shut up.
- Okay.
1235
01:28:37,433 --> 01:28:39,086
Look! Look, man!
1236
01:29:00,135 --> 01:29:02,309
Oh, y our Grace.
1237
01:29:33,274 --> 01:29:34,710
Mr. Gundy...
1238
01:29:34,971 --> 01:29:38,970
as the official representative of
her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II...
1239
01:29:39,058 --> 01:29:41,931
I order you to withdraw at once,
or I shall be forced to shoot you...
1240
01:29:42,018 --> 01:29:44,886
between the eyes
with a rather large bullet.
1241
01:29:45,582 --> 01:29:47,104
Draw, Sir Anthony?
1242
01:29:47,539 --> 01:29:48,712
Never.
1243
01:29:48,799 --> 01:29:52,193
Soldiers, I order you
to disperse that crowd at once.
1244
01:29:52,716 --> 01:29:55,193
If they don't move, shoot them.
1245
01:29:55,323 --> 01:29:57,281
They shoot, you die.
1246
01:30:00,237 --> 01:30:01,543
You know...
1247
01:30:02,065 --> 01:30:04,935
it's amazing how people
can get themselves in these situations...
1248
01:30:05,021 --> 01:30:06,891
when, if you stop and think about it...
1249
01:30:06,977 --> 01:30:11,153
you'll see that, basically, you guys
are not that far apart on this thing.
1250
01:30:11,675 --> 01:30:12,808
Now, Sol...
1251
01:30:13,330 --> 01:30:15,067
May I call you Sol?
1252
01:30:15,893 --> 01:30:18,983
I know this high finance thing
may look good to you now...
1253
01:30:19,070 --> 01:30:21,199
but I know how these guys operate.
1254
01:30:21,286 --> 01:30:25,072
A year from now, your little Swiss
and Arab friend are gonna turn on you...
1255
01:30:25,159 --> 01:30:27,550
and give you the hosing of a lifetime.
1256
01:30:28,897 --> 01:30:32,376
You don't see a lot of personal loyalty
in big business, Sol.
1257
01:30:39,595 --> 01:30:42,421
Forget this place.
You guys are gonna love the Caymans.
1258
01:30:42,508 --> 01:30:44,163
Beautiful, just beautiful.
1259
01:30:44,249 --> 01:30:48,555
And the food! They got lobster there
as big as a child or a small woman even.
1260
01:30:49,208 --> 01:30:50,296
Big!
1261
01:30:51,861 --> 01:30:54,034
Your boat sailed without you, Sol.
1262
01:31:28,348 --> 01:31:30,917
- Well done, fireman.
- You, too, y our Grace.
1263
01:31:32,046 --> 01:31:33,525
Yeah, victory!
1264
01:31:34,828 --> 01:31:38,178
Hey, Jack. Thanks, man,
for what you've done for my people.
1265
01:31:38,308 --> 01:31:41,920
It's no problem, Mr. Reed. You're probably
so hot right now you can get elected Pope.
1266
01:31:42,006 --> 01:31:46,267
I don't have time for politics. Business
is going to be so good from now on.
1267
01:31:46,529 --> 01:31:50,268
Yeah, Club Paradise, your hot spot
for fun with guns in the sun.
1268
01:31:57,270 --> 01:32:00,357
Man, look at all this weed.
We are set for life with this stash.
1269
01:32:00,443 --> 01:32:03,621
- The chicks in Miami are gonna love it.
- Miami!
1270
01:32:03,751 --> 01:32:05,620
We'll never make Miami
with this much weight.
1271
01:32:05,751 --> 01:32:07,707
What are you doing?
What are you talking about?
1272
01:32:07,794 --> 01:32:08,970
No!
1273
01:32:22,972 --> 01:32:24,452
Ganja!
105544
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