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On the mountain top
3
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:55,444
I see something black
4
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:05,689
Is it cow shit
5
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:12,362
Or my beloved
6
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,091
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen...
7
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,136
and welcome once again
to The Crazy Daisy Show.
8
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:21,366
We have sophisticated entertainment,
a window into reality...
9
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,840
a breath of cold air from another world.
10
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:29,506
As the Chastity Belt Foundation
and the Aristotlese Aplanalp chain stores...
11
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:34,280
proudly present the semifinalists
in the Miss World 1984 Contest!
12
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:37,151
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
it gives me a great deal of pleasure...
13
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,021
to present Mrs. Martha Aplanalp,
well-known philanthropist...
14
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,594
and chairman of the Chastity Belt Foundation.
15
00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:46,153
A great sponsor and a great mother.
16
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:41,376
Dear Mrs. Martha, first the question,
why the Chastity Belt Foundation?
17
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:44,422
Surely in these modern times
that seems to be a bit old-fashioned.
18
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,186
Oh, we're not old-fashioned -
not in the least.
19
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:51,593
At Chastity Belt,
there are no metals...
20
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,996
no elastic supports...
21
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,000
no tranquilizers.
22
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,832
Through the guidance
of our sensational method...
23
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,907
your own body kills the animal.
24
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,406
We advocate simple triumph of the will.
25
00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:09,675
It is painless and ever so rewarding.
26
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:12,742
No wild dreams.
27
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:15,980
No - No peculiar behavior.
28
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,149
Solid health and purposeful direction.
29
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,820
It's so good to hear about health
and purposeful direction in these sick times.
30
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:27,332
Right on! Sock it to me, baby.
31
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:32,894
A network of muscles forms
the protective armor around the pelvic region.
32
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,772
If not controlled and kept at bay...
33
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:41,813
wild impulses will turn everyone
into beastly animals...
34
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:44,815
chaotic natural beings.
35
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:50,289
Semifinalists from 77 countries have been selected
and sent here this evening.
36
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,551
They are, of course,
the most desirable, prominent...
37
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,889
and well-preserved virgins available.
38
00:04:55,928 --> 00:05:00,695
This year's stake for the lucky young winner
is $50 billion.
39
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,167
Fifty billion dollars,
the estimated fortune of Mr. Aplanalp...
40
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:08,536
uh, Mrs. Martha Aplanalp's boy,
her pride and joy.
41
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,007
The richest bachelor in the world...
42
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:14,546
who decided suddenly this summer
to give up his bachelorhood...
43
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,741
to sponsor the Miss World Contest
and marry the winner...
44
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,216
the most cherished girl on the planet Earth.
45
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,220
There's a saying in the Aplanalp family:
46
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:27,453
"When we buy something, we buy the best,
and we buy it brand-new."
47
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,791
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Dr. Mittlefinger.
48
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,433
Turn over here, Doctor.
49
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:38,368
Yes, uh, Dr. Mittlefinger
certainly is an extraordinary man.
50
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:42,237
Um, has to his credit
the delivery of three army generals...
51
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,743
four members of Parliament,
Eskimo sextuplets, uh...
52
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,246
and, of course,
many, many more people... and women.
53
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:53,080
I, uh - I'm really thrilled to be able to perform
at this important function...
54
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,587
and, uh, I'm anticipating
some delightful specimens.
55
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,284
Each new flower brings a new joy,
a new excitement.
56
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,418
Can we start the show?
57
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,725
Of course.
Uh, so let's meet now the first contestant...
58
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,096
Miss Southern Rhodesia.
59
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:15,405
Another historical moment,
a window into reality...
60
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,772
an event never attempted live on television before...
61
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,038
and coming to you
on The Crazy Daisy Show.
62
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,114
If you'll just step up here.
63
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,203
Would you be good enough
to remove your pants?
64
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:47,204
Oh, my pleasure.
65
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,206
- Dr. Mittlefinger-
- So kind.
66
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:54,837
Brilliant master of deep insights
and even deeper insights.
67
00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:59,350
Innovative explorer of the abysses
of the human body and soul.
68
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:02,182
Tell us, Miss, uh, Southern Rhodesia.
Tell us, how do you feel now?
69
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:06,190
Oh, I'm great. Oh!
70
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,283
What's happening?
71
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:11,124
You're tickling me.
72
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:14,757
I'm really sensitive.
You're tickling me with your little light.
73
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,131
This little light.
74
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:20,296
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
we proudly present Miss Congo.
75
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,049
Remove your panties please, honey.
76
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:42,150
Hey, baby. You mean my bananas?
77
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:46,061
Oh, yes, of course. Delicious.
78
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,233
There are different types of hymen,
a delicate little piece of skin...
79
00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:02,280
that informs us about a girl's initiation
into the world of adult pleasures.
80
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:07,375
I mean the sinful,
disgusting pleasures of the flesh...
81
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,955
and unusual sensual...
82
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,956
excitation.
83
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:22,459
Now, here comes Miss Yugoslavia,
a picture of radiant health.
84
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,510
Yes, well, this young lady
is certainly self-assured.
85
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,850
Now, moving right along, folks...
86
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,980
let's meet Mademoiselle Canada.
87
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,879
Would you take your pants off, please?
88
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,005
I don't wear any.
89
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,209
You never wear any pants?
90
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,787
Not for a special occasion like this.
91
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:59,326
Splendid. Splendid.
92
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,900
By far the most beautiful thing here.
93
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:09,340
In all my years of practice,
I've never seen anything so sweet.
94
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,476
A rosebud.
95
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:52,343
The whole world is our country
96
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:55,748
Liberty is our law
97
00:10:55,955 --> 00:11:00,654
And just one thought...
98
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,127
The whole world is our country
99
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,393
Liberty is our law
100
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:12,995
Just one thought burns in our hearts
101
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:18,469
Wanderers on land
102
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:23,505
And sea
103
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:28,346
For an idea
104
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,486
We leave our loved ones behind
105
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:34,923
The whole world is our country
106
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,894
Liberty is our law
107
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:42,991
And just one thought...
108
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:46,401
The whole world is our country
109
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:49,633
Liberty is our law
110
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:55,578
Just one thought burns in our hearts
111
00:11:55,681 --> 00:12:00,846
But all your exiled people
112
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:05,888
Shall return to you
113
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:11,423
And brandish the torch
114
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,598
To demand their rights
115
00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,964
The whole world is our country
116
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,334
Liberty is our law
117
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:24,933
And just one thought...
118
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:28,445
The whole world is our country
119
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:31,778
Liberty is our law
120
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:36,981
Just one thought burns in our hearts
121
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:46,396
When I buy something,
I always buy the best.
122
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:50,299
You know, yesterday,
I bought a diamond mine in South Africa.
123
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:53,235
Today, another buy.
124
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,807
The best-bred bride available.
125
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:02,571
Must be about 785 diamonds in there.
You know that?
126
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:05,455
- About that?
- Oh, yeah. Maybe more.
127
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,542
And they all came from my diamond mine.
128
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:10,554
Yeah!
129
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:13,420
Yes, sir, baby.
Here we go.
130
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,236
Yeah. Hand-carved.
131
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,607
- You know who this fella is?
- No.
132
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:31,107
That's Karl. Karl Marx!
133
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,110
Yeah.
134
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:36,670
He's the guy that shot the Russian Czar. Yeah.
Shot him dead, right in the head. Yeah.
135
00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:39,580
That started World War I, honey. Yeah!
136
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:47,186
I got it from a Russian
business connection. Yeah.
137
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,193
He buys a lot of my diamonds.
138
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,786
- You see that little fountain down there?- Yes.
139
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,797
That's my next buy. Yeah!
140
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:57,562
It's gonna be my biggest undertaking
in landscape architecture.
141
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,831
I'm gonna buy it
from the Canadian government.
142
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,068
I'm gonna renovate it,
redecorate it.
143
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,339
Get rid of the water,
turn off the falls.
144
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:12,110
I'm gonna install an electronic,
synthetic...
145
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,311
laser moving image in livin' color.
146
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,581
In livin' color, honey! Yeah.
147
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,624
And we're gonna have
a huge quadraphonic sound system.
148
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:22,193
Yeah! Of the royal waters. Yeah!
149
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,854
We're gonna have the best sight
and sound system available. Yeah.
150
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:30,367
Unaffected by weather conditions.
151
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,744
My empire.
152
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:45,180
Milk for the entire country.
153
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,246
Let's see the bride.
154
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:50,907
- Whoo!- Hey!
155
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,618
Mama!
156
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,695
Whoo!
157
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,632
Now, you may ask,
do I have time for marriage?
158
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:17,107
And I simply state that marriage
is a great gimmick for saving money and time...
159
00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:19,837
which is money!
160
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:22,880
I have come to understand
the real meaning of marriage.
161
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,576
I simply can't afford any more waste.
162
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:29,085
I can't afford any more chaos in my sex life.
163
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:33,682
All right. Everyone has to relieve himself,
but why waste it?
164
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:38,729
Okay. You bang some broad,
you feel good for a half a second...
165
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,130
but then you realize you've gotta run
to the phone to call your doctor...
166
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,361
'cause you gotta have a V.D. test.
167
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,870
You soothe your balls...
168
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:48,872
and you get a headache.
169
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:51,534
- That's right, my son.
- Well, not for me no more.
170
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,611
I guarantee that.
171
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:58,411
My mama kept telling me,
"Son, look after your health."
172
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,317
Well, Ma, I sure as hell aim to.
173
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:06,187
Come over here, honey.
Best little heifer in town. In the world!
174
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:09,488
No chemical substitutes.
175
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,496
All ingredients checked and double-checked...
176
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,862
and certified pure.
177
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:21,002
Not an easy thing to find these days, is it?
178
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,006
Well, I done it.
179
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:26,134
So now I have acquired
a lady of the house...
180
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,372
a personal jewel...
181
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,380
but above all...
182
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:34,612
a purified sanitation system
for unchecked waste.
183
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,563
Hey! Hey!
184
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,300
Hey, Mama! Yahoo!
185
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:56,879
Hey, Mama! Yahoo!
186
00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:38,445
Is there life on the Earth
187
00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:41,321
Is there life after birth
188
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:44,088
Is there life on the Earth
189
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:49,566
Is there life after birth
190
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,668
It's a joy to be alive
191
00:22:54,773 --> 00:22:58,231
It's good to be glad
192
00:22:58,343 --> 00:23:00,903
Good to survive
193
00:23:01,012 --> 00:23:06,780
It's great to be mad
194
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,649
It's fun to have nothing
195
00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:12,349
Do things in the nude
196
00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:15,358
Oh, it's sweet to be hungry
197
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:20,090
It's finger-licking good
198
00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:23,099
Is there life on the Earth
199
00:23:23,201 --> 00:23:25,829
Is there life after birth
200
00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:28,770
Is there life on the Earth
201
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,206
Is there life after birth
202
00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:34,472
Is there life on the Earth
203
00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,275
Is there life after birth
204
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:40,010
Is there life on the Earth
205
00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:44,953
Is there life after birth
206
00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:50,689
It's a joy to be crazy
207
00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:53,697
It's good to be sad
208
00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:55,960
It's good to be lazy
209
00:23:56,067 --> 00:24:00,697
Great to be bad
210
00:24:02,307 --> 00:24:05,037
It's good to be lucky
211
00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:08,135
Good to practice deadly sin
212
00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:10,737
To die for a cause
213
00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:15,513
To be alive and to win
214
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:18,589
Is there life on the Earth
215
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:21,523
Is there life after birth
216
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:24,322
Is there life on the Earth
217
00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:27,227
Is there life after birth
218
00:24:27,332 --> 00:24:30,267
Is there life on the Earth
219
00:24:30,368 --> 00:24:33,098
Is there life after birth
220
00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:35,673
Is there life on the Earth
221
00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:41,007
Is there life after birth
222
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,030
Hey, Potemkin!
223
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:05,032
Aren't you from
that famous revolution that failed?
224
00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:08,071
I mean the one in 1905.
225
00:25:09,975 --> 00:25:12,603
Captain, I am your new lover.
226
00:25:14,379 --> 00:25:16,404
The annunciation!
227
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:20,676
I'm starving for love.
228
00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:22,615
I'm hungry for love.
229
00:25:23,588 --> 00:25:27,718
Those who starve know how to make love.
230
00:25:30,762 --> 00:25:33,492
They're charged with electricity.
231
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,100
Where is this boat going?
232
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:38,961
All the way.
233
00:25:41,439 --> 00:25:42,872
All the way?
234
00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:46,268
To the bottom.
235
00:25:54,419 --> 00:25:59,083
You need a good sailor on this boat.
Come. I'll treat you well.
236
00:26:00,825 --> 00:26:03,385
What a joy to meet...
237
00:26:04,696 --> 00:26:06,493
an authentic...
238
00:26:07,532 --> 00:26:10,729
sexual proletarian!
239
00:26:16,207 --> 00:26:18,004
Beast!
240
00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:40,491
Fascination!
241
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,304
Forward!
242
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:52,076
Optimistic tragedy!
243
00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:05,916
Oh, sailor!
244
00:27:13,665 --> 00:27:16,828
Stick your sword in! You won't hurt her!
245
00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:23,803
"Man" - how proud that word sounds!
246
00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:31,239
Forward, people, to battle
247
00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:36,350
The red flag, the red flag
248
00:27:36,454 --> 00:27:41,255
Forward, people, to battle
249
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:45,227
The red flag will triumph
250
00:27:45,964 --> 00:27:50,697
The red flag will triumph
251
00:27:50,802 --> 00:27:54,738
The red flag will triumph
252
00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:58,639
The red flag will triumph
253
00:27:58,743 --> 00:28:02,804
Long live communism and freedom
254
00:28:02,914 --> 00:28:06,042
Forward, people, to battle
255
00:28:06,151 --> 00:28:09,211
The red flag, the red flag
256
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,118
Forward, people, to battle
257
00:28:12,223 --> 00:28:15,124
The red flag will triumph
258
00:28:15,226 --> 00:28:18,753
Forward, people, to battle
259
00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:22,526
The red flag, the red flag
260
00:28:22,634 --> 00:28:26,365
Forward, people, to battle
261
00:28:26,471 --> 00:28:29,963
The red flag will triumph
262
00:28:30,075 --> 00:28:33,476
The red flag will triumph
263
00:28:33,578 --> 00:28:36,672
The red flag will triumph
264
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:41,276
I expected something else to happen.
265
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:44,878
Nonsense. He can do anything.
He's the most powerful millionaire in the world.
266
00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:49,289
Which means, quite simply, that for your own good,
you better forget this marriage.
267
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,658
Then I think I should get alimony.
268
00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:54,254
I advise you strongly...
269
00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:56,560
to refrain from thinking anything.
270
00:28:56,668 --> 00:29:01,401
Thinking sometimes
can be a very dangerous exercise.
271
00:29:01,506 --> 00:29:03,633
Very dangerous indeed.
272
00:29:04,976 --> 00:29:07,410
Hmm. This is insane.
273
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:09,412
Yes.
274
00:29:09,514 --> 00:29:13,075
Maybe we should ask
for a psychiatric examination.
275
00:29:13,184 --> 00:29:17,484
There are people with similar symptoms.
They become confused.
276
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:23,221
They spend the rest of their lives
behind the walls of asylums.
277
00:29:38,409 --> 00:29:41,207
- This house is mine!
- Forget it!
278
00:29:46,184 --> 00:29:48,084
- Alimony!
- Oh, yeah?
279
00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:50,154
Never!
280
00:29:56,961 --> 00:29:58,519
Be reasonable!
281
00:30:22,187 --> 00:30:24,485
Jeremiah. Jeremiah.
282
00:30:26,257 --> 00:30:28,691
Take care of her, Jeremiah.
283
00:30:41,472 --> 00:30:44,236
This is mine!
This is mine!
284
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:47,334
This is mine! Mine!
285
00:30:48,446 --> 00:30:51,244
Take care of her, Jeremiah.
286
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:53,317
She's overtired.
287
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:57,154
She doesn't feel very well.
288
00:30:57,255 --> 00:31:00,019
Poor girl.
289
00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:13,188
Where am I? Oh!
290
00:32:17,168 --> 00:32:20,331
Hitler! Dirty Jew.
291
00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:23,066
They call me Neanderthal.
292
00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,337
Fascist pig!
293
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,914
I'm not just anybody.
294
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:34,009
Dirty Commie.
295
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:37,747
Why, they even wanted to put me on exhibit...
296
00:32:39,123 --> 00:32:41,557
in the Museum of Natural Sciences.
297
00:32:48,199 --> 00:32:51,259
My portrait is used in Szondy's test.
298
00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:57,605
I am listed in Krafft-Ebing.
299
00:32:57,709 --> 00:32:59,973
I am a certified psychopath.
300
00:33:00,078 --> 00:33:03,707
I am even quoted by Lombroso. And...
301
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:06,807
my size is superhuman.
302
00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:35,474
- Afraid?
- No.
303
00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:37,548
Hmm.
304
00:33:37,648 --> 00:33:39,707
I have my own advertising slogan:
305
00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:41,876
Try me. I'm delicious.
306
00:33:46,724 --> 00:33:48,885
See this chocolate complexion?
307
00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:53,464
Try it.
308
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:12,114
It's sweet.
309
00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:14,582
Finger-licking good.
310
00:34:26,464 --> 00:34:28,955
Ooh.
311
00:34:30,301 --> 00:34:32,997
I'm Catholic,
and it's a spiritual thing for me.
312
00:34:33,104 --> 00:34:35,595
I'm Muslim,
and I have a real thing for you.
313
00:34:35,706 --> 00:34:38,470
Oh.
314
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:44,780
Oh, you damned fool!
315
00:34:44,882 --> 00:34:47,942
This is my only property.
This is my diamond mine.
316
00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:55,415
I'll do something to you
that my father taught me.
317
00:35:28,326 --> 00:35:30,260
Are you happy?
318
00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:41,336
- Hello, sir. Where are you off to today?
- Oh. Paris.
319
00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:43,930
May I have your ticket, please?
Thank you.
320
00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:48,702
It weighs a ton.
What have you got in there?
321
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:50,872
Oh, books. Lots of them.
322
00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:55,282
Books weigh a lot.
I'm taking a refresher course in philosophy.
323
00:35:55,386 --> 00:35:58,947
Marcuse, Supek, Vranicki, Sartre.
324
00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:03,220
- You know, i-i-it's heavy.
- That would be 55 pounds overweight.
325
00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:05,887
Oh, I'll pay the difference.
326
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,965
Thank you very much.
327
00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,472
Thank you.
328
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,038
I have presents for you.
329
00:37:21,672 --> 00:37:23,503
A real Arabian carpet.
330
00:37:24,976 --> 00:37:26,500
You like it?
331
00:37:26,844 --> 00:37:28,505
Made in China.
332
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:34,446
Vodka from Berkeley, California.
333
00:37:34,652 --> 00:37:36,051
For you.
334
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,812
And my friend...
335
00:37:40,024 --> 00:37:41,514
Leonide.
336
00:37:47,498 --> 00:37:50,524
And my name is Luv Bakunin.
337
00:37:51,669 --> 00:37:54,297
Do you like my friend?
338
00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:05,415
Oh.
339
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:13,081
Entrust your fate to no one!
340
00:38:13,424 --> 00:38:16,154
People!
341
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:19,991
The policeman's boot
crushes your desires and feelings.
342
00:38:20,431 --> 00:38:23,889
Let's be realistic
and demand the impossible.
343
00:38:24,101 --> 00:38:26,092
A good bath, for instance.
344
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:28,033
I haven't had one in four months.
345
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,905
Let's be realistic, comrades
346
00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:36,873
And demand the impossible
347
00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:40,050
A hot bath, for instance
348
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:50,624
Don't stay here.
349
00:38:50,828 --> 00:38:52,921
This boat is full of corpses.
350
00:38:53,631 --> 00:38:55,189
It doesn't matter.
351
00:38:55,466 --> 00:38:57,434
The whole world is full of corpses.
352
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:05,772
IN THE KATYN FOREST
353
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,833
Let's be realistic, comrades
354
00:41:54,044 --> 00:41:57,741
And demand the impossible
355
00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:29,074
Is there life on the Earth
356
00:42:29,179 --> 00:42:32,171
Is there life after birth
357
00:42:32,283 --> 00:42:34,911
Is there life on the Earth
358
00:42:35,019 --> 00:42:40,184
Is there life after birth
359
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,552
It's a joy to be alive
360
00:42:45,663 --> 00:42:48,894
It's good to be glad
361
00:42:48,999 --> 00:42:51,467
Good to survive
362
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:56,336
It's great to be mad
363
00:42:57,641 --> 00:43:00,371
It's fun to have nothing
364
00:43:00,477 --> 00:43:03,105
Do things in the nude
365
00:43:03,213 --> 00:43:06,148
Oh, it's sweet to be hungry
366
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:10,277
It's finger-licking good
367
00:43:10,387 --> 00:43:13,686
Is there life on the Earth
368
00:43:13,791 --> 00:43:16,624
Is there life after birth
369
00:43:16,727 --> 00:43:19,821
Is there life on the Earth
370
00:43:19,930 --> 00:43:22,228
Is there life after birth
371
00:43:24,735 --> 00:43:27,169
The portrait. The portrait.
Somebody.
372
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,171
The portrait.
Get the portrait in place.
373
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:47,151
I want you to face the camera
and look terribly Mexican...
374
00:43:47,257 --> 00:43:50,090
'cause I didn't fly you all over here
to look like a French extra.
375
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:52,321
And start to sing very nobly.
376
00:44:15,085 --> 00:44:19,522
To see this world of violence
377
00:44:20,157 --> 00:44:24,560
And so much suffering makes me high
378
00:44:25,963 --> 00:44:30,093
To live more fully I will die
379
00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:35,237
Such passion cries out for forgiveness
380
00:44:38,308 --> 00:44:43,336
River of blood, carnage
381
00:44:43,981 --> 00:44:46,313
I will shout
382
00:44:46,483 --> 00:44:49,611
"I want more!"
383
00:44:51,255 --> 00:44:55,589
Night of the sun, oh my heart,
to celebrate the explosion
384
00:44:56,927 --> 00:45:00,829
With the motor of history driving me on
385
00:45:02,599 --> 00:45:08,401
I'm a wild stallion
386
00:45:08,572 --> 00:45:11,666
My golden mane flies in the wind
387
00:45:11,842 --> 00:45:14,402
As I seek out good times
388
00:45:15,179 --> 00:45:20,082
My valiant sword stands ever ready
389
00:45:20,184 --> 00:45:23,779
Cut! Cut!
What's the matter, love, now?
390
00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:26,913
What's got into you? Don't you know
we're working on a limited budget here?
391
00:45:27,024 --> 00:45:29,652
Don't you know I've got to be back
in London by tomorrow night?
392
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,524
Let's do it again, and this time,
let's get it bloody right!
393
00:45:32,629 --> 00:45:34,995
Rewind. Rewind.
394
00:45:35,099 --> 00:45:37,124
- So, are you ready?- Ready.
395
00:45:39,603 --> 00:45:45,041
To see this world of violence
396
00:45:45,142 --> 00:45:50,170
And so much suffering makes me high
397
00:45:51,215 --> 00:45:55,481
To live more fully I will die
398
00:45:56,220 --> 00:46:00,623
Such passion cries out for forgiveness
399
00:46:03,694 --> 00:46:07,596
River of blood, carnage
400
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,796
I will shout
401
00:46:11,902 --> 00:46:15,338
"I want more!"
402
00:46:16,507 --> 00:46:21,308
Night of the sun, oh my heart,
to celebrate the explosion
403
00:46:22,346 --> 00:46:27,807
With the motor of history driving me on
404
00:46:27,918 --> 00:46:33,481
I'm a wild stallion
405
00:46:33,590 --> 00:46:36,684
My golden mane flies in the wind
406
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:39,627
As I seek out good times
407
00:46:39,730 --> 00:46:43,996
My valiant sword stands ever ready
408
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:50,365
This wild stallion cannot be tamed
409
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:53,969
Stirring up passion wherever I go
410
00:46:54,178 --> 00:46:56,146
This is my song
411
00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:01,578
A thousand steeds will rise from my grave
412
00:47:04,421 --> 00:47:07,788
Untamed and unafraid
413
00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,856
You are so beautiful.
414
00:47:52,169 --> 00:47:54,603
I know.
415
00:48:14,591 --> 00:48:18,049
Your eyes are irresistible.
416
00:48:29,806 --> 00:48:32,707
I must see you tonight.
417
00:48:33,777 --> 00:48:35,972
See me now.
418
00:49:10,347 --> 00:49:12,315
Mmm.
419
00:50:06,203 --> 00:50:08,501
Let's get a picture of Sacr� Coeur!
420
00:50:08,705 --> 00:50:10,536
Stand right there!
421
00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:14,237
It's him!
Master, we must have a picture.
422
00:50:14,344 --> 00:50:16,312
Oh!
423
00:50:16,413 --> 00:50:18,244
Oh.
424
00:50:18,348 --> 00:50:20,373
Ow.
425
00:50:27,891 --> 00:50:30,223
At last! At last!
426
00:50:30,327 --> 00:50:32,295
Instant cinema!
427
00:50:37,234 --> 00:50:39,202
Have you sent for the doctor?
428
00:50:45,008 --> 00:50:47,602
Where's my veal chop?
429
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:49,975
Hello, maestro.
430
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:54,346
I knew you were a hell of a lover,
but this really knocks me out.
431
00:50:54,451 --> 00:50:56,351
And I am not easily surprised.
432
00:50:56,453 --> 00:50:59,251
Knocks me out too, se�or.
433
00:50:59,356 --> 00:51:01,620
It's a real love cramp.
434
00:51:02,259 --> 00:51:04,625
The man's organ is erect.
435
00:51:04,828 --> 00:51:07,991
The woman's love muscle
closes tightly around it.
436
00:51:08,231 --> 00:51:11,064
Sometimes it tickles, but sometimes
437
00:51:11,268 --> 00:51:13,031
they get stuck.
438
00:51:13,236 --> 00:51:15,261
Happens to dogs too.
439
00:51:17,808 --> 00:51:20,504
- You're gonna cut it off?
- Don't worry. Have no fear.
440
00:51:20,610 --> 00:51:22,874
- Latin lover.
- S�.
441
00:51:29,152 --> 00:51:31,211
Hors d'oeuvres for table 12.
442
00:51:31,321 --> 00:51:34,119
Ah!
443
00:51:38,328 --> 00:51:41,820
Arriba!
444
00:51:58,081 --> 00:52:00,379
- Can I have an autograph, please?
- S�. S�.
445
00:52:00,484 --> 00:52:03,419
Will you sing something for us,
maestro, please?
446
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:07,980
With the motor of history driving me on
447
00:52:10,093 --> 00:52:15,656
I'm a wild stallion
448
00:52:15,765 --> 00:52:18,359
My golden mane flies in the wind
449
00:52:18,468 --> 00:52:21,596
As I seek out good times
450
00:52:21,705 --> 00:52:25,732
My valiant sword stands ever ready
451
00:52:27,277 --> 00:52:32,943
This wild stallion cannot be tamed
452
00:52:33,049 --> 00:52:35,574
Stirring up passion wherever I go
453
00:52:35,685 --> 00:52:37,585
This is my song
454
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:43,251
A thousand steeds will rise from my grave
455
00:52:46,329 --> 00:52:49,457
Untamed and unafraid
456
00:53:33,076 --> 00:53:35,044
When I left for Spain...
457
00:53:36,279 --> 00:53:37,940
in the war
458
00:53:38,415 --> 00:53:41,213
against all war and against fascism...
459
00:53:43,186 --> 00:53:45,177
my doctor said to me,
460
00:53:45,922 --> 00:53:47,651
"Comrade...
461
00:53:49,092 --> 00:53:50,616
don't go!
462
00:53:52,028 --> 00:53:53,495
You're too weak.
463
00:53:54,698 --> 00:53:56,689
You're so delicate."
464
00:54:00,103 --> 00:54:03,402
He said, "Life is so fragile.
465
00:54:05,375 --> 00:54:07,366
It must be protected."
466
00:54:09,412 --> 00:54:11,471
"From what?" I asked.
467
00:54:13,350 --> 00:54:15,944
"From water? Fire?
468
00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:18,944
Wind?
469
00:54:20,657 --> 00:54:22,591
Men?
470
00:54:25,996 --> 00:54:30,990
You can wipe your ass with your advice",
I told him.
471
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:37,240
I told my husband...
472
00:54:39,342 --> 00:54:42,334
"Freedom and communism start today."
473
00:54:45,782 --> 00:54:50,014
"Love starts today"...
474
00:54:53,089 --> 00:54:55,353
I told my lover.
475
00:54:58,995 --> 00:55:01,862
"We can't wage revolution with lies",
476
00:55:02,766 --> 00:55:05,963
I told the secretary of my party cell.
477
00:55:08,605 --> 00:55:11,233
I told my soldiers,
478
00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:15,605
"Our aim in this war isn't to die
on the field of honor.
479
00:55:17,380 --> 00:55:20,872
Whoever falls and dies is a real schmuck,
480
00:55:21,084 --> 00:55:22,881
a total idiot!"
481
00:55:31,695 --> 00:55:33,754
Everyone has deserted me.
482
00:55:43,006 --> 00:55:48,569
Only a few old soldiers come visit me
now and then.
483
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:56,251
Don't stay here.
484
00:57:05,021 --> 00:57:06,955
Wow.
485
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,849
My name is Anna Planeta.
486
01:02:09,459 --> 01:02:15,125
You can fuck me if you are lucky, Mr. Sugar.
487
01:02:52,535 --> 01:02:54,730
Three blind mice
488
01:02:54,837 --> 01:02:56,737
Three blind mice
489
01:02:56,839 --> 01:02:58,739
See how they run
490
01:02:58,841 --> 01:03:00,866
See how they run
491
01:03:00,977 --> 01:03:04,811
They all ran after the farmer's wife
who cut off their tails with a carving knife
492
01:03:04,914 --> 01:03:08,509
Did you ever see such a thing in your life
as three blind mice
493
01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:10,518
Three blind mice
494
01:03:11,621 --> 01:03:15,352
See how they run
See how they run
495
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:19,224
They all ran after the farmer's wife
496
01:08:49,158 --> 01:08:51,524
I'm building the head...
497
01:08:51,627 --> 01:08:53,527
of Immaculate Conception.
498
01:08:55,397 --> 01:08:59,197
Conceive your child in the brains...
499
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:01,269
of a -
500
01:09:58,027 --> 01:10:02,293
Nice and flat so I can cut little slices.
501
01:10:02,498 --> 01:10:06,400
Can I cut it now?
502
01:10:06,602 --> 01:10:08,627
No one's answering.
Shall I cut it?
503
01:10:10,573 --> 01:10:12,541
Oh!
504
01:10:16,245 --> 01:10:18,839
Delicious!
Who wants a slice?
505
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:28,148
Aaah!
506
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:33,674
Is it cow shit
507
01:13:34,476 --> 01:13:39,175
Or my beloved
508
01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:51,859
Oh! Oh!
509
01:20:55,183 --> 01:20:57,674
Everyone I loved is dead.
510
01:21:27,983 --> 01:21:30,110
I feel good.
511
01:21:30,485 --> 01:21:32,919
It always starts out that way.
512
01:21:34,422 --> 01:21:36,447
It always starts out so well.
513
01:21:46,635 --> 01:21:48,728
Sugar everywhere.
514
01:21:51,106 --> 01:21:52,801
I don't believe it.
515
01:21:55,143 --> 01:21:57,737
This boat is full of sugar.
516
01:22:05,854 --> 01:22:07,651
Sugar is dangerous.
517
01:22:14,162 --> 01:22:15,891
Fine weather today.
518
01:22:16,998 --> 01:22:19,023
How can you say that?
519
01:22:33,581 --> 01:22:35,378
Sugar is dangerous.
520
01:22:40,155 --> 01:22:42,851
Makes you live dangerously.
521
01:23:02,744 --> 01:23:04,712
Are you afraid of the past?
522
01:23:11,486 --> 01:23:13,681
I brought all this sugar here,
523
01:23:14,155 --> 01:23:16,817
but the bitter taste still lingers.
524
01:23:19,294 --> 01:23:21,888
In any case, the traces can't be erased.
525
01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:25,159
What about the witnesses?
526
01:23:29,070 --> 01:23:30,901
The witnesses must disappear.
527
01:23:35,343 --> 01:23:38,073
Oh.
528
01:23:50,258 --> 01:23:52,522
Oh.
529
01:23:52,627 --> 01:23:54,254
That's good.
530
01:23:55,063 --> 01:23:56,462
Go on.
531
01:24:26,961 --> 01:24:29,191
No explanation?
532
01:24:32,600 --> 01:24:35,034
Not everything can be explained.
533
01:24:38,239 --> 01:24:42,972
I was so jealous
when Vakulinchuk was killed.
534
01:25:25,420 --> 01:25:29,686
I was so jealous
when Vakulinchuk was killed.
535
01:27:32,313 --> 01:27:34,838
My God, how sad you are!
536
01:27:36,718 --> 01:27:38,015
Is the tear ready?
537
01:28:38,146 --> 01:28:40,910
Anna!
538
01:29:53,621 --> 01:29:58,081
Darling, this is going to be
the highlight of your career.
539
01:29:58,192 --> 01:30:01,628
From now on,
when people eat chocolate-
540
01:30:01,729 --> 01:30:04,220
I mean the brand we advertise-
541
01:30:04,332 --> 01:30:06,300
they will not feel the same.
542
01:30:20,415 --> 01:30:24,317
I want them to feel
as they're eating you.
543
01:30:24,652 --> 01:30:26,643
Action.
544
01:30:27,755 --> 01:30:30,189
Chocolat.
545
01:30:33,161 --> 01:30:36,221
Easy, easy.
546
01:30:39,133 --> 01:30:40,566
Perfect.
547
01:30:46,407 --> 01:30:48,637
Perfect. Very beautiful.
548
01:30:48,743 --> 01:30:50,904
- Okay.
- Sensational!
549
01:30:51,012 --> 01:30:52,912
Okay.
550
01:33:34,809 --> 01:33:36,868
Mmm. Right.
551
01:33:36,978 --> 01:33:39,276
We're gonna sell the chocolate.
552
01:33:53,127 --> 01:33:55,357
Beautiful.
553
01:33:55,463 --> 01:33:57,431
Beautiful.
554
01:33:57,531 --> 01:34:00,227
Let everything be known...
555
01:34:00,334 --> 01:34:02,234
and let everything be clean.
556
01:34:20,321 --> 01:34:23,916
Our scouts had trouble
in certain parts of the world.
557
01:34:24,025 --> 01:34:28,428
It's not easy to find a girl
who's both pretty and a virgin.
558
01:34:28,529 --> 01:34:32,090
Our boys did quite a job,
I'll tell you.
559
01:34:33,305 --> 01:35:33,190
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