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1
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:11,194
Who are these kids?
2
00:00:13,464 --> 00:00:14,922
What kids?
3
00:00:14,947 --> 00:00:16,346
In this picture.
4
00:00:19,136 --> 00:00:21,804
I don't know. I thought
you put them up.
5
00:00:21,806 --> 00:00:23,273
No.
6
00:00:23,275 --> 00:00:24,840
Well, they probably came
7
00:00:24,842 --> 00:00:27,076
in a Christmas
card or something.
8
00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:34,116
They don't even look familiar.
9
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,785
Nope.
10
00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:37,287
They look happy, though.
11
00:00:37,289 --> 00:00:39,755
The boy's got the
little car there.
12
00:00:39,757 --> 00:00:41,857
Yeah, they... They seem nice.
13
00:00:41,859 --> 00:00:42,858
Hmm.
14
00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:44,360
Okay, let's throw them out.
15
00:00:44,362 --> 00:00:45,795
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16
00:00:45,797 --> 00:00:47,530
You can't throw out kids.
17
00:00:47,532 --> 00:00:48,764
Why not?
18
00:00:48,766 --> 00:00:50,567
What if their parents come by?
19
00:00:50,569 --> 00:00:53,069
So we have to keep a picture
up on our refrigerator
20
00:00:53,071 --> 00:00:54,170
of kids we don't know
21
00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:55,938
on the off chance
that their parents,
22
00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:59,542
who we can't remember, will
come by and be offended?
23
00:00:59,544 --> 00:01:01,444
Are they hurting
anyone up there?
24
00:01:03,414 --> 00:01:04,914
Fine.
25
00:01:04,916 --> 00:01:08,551
But I'm putting them
under a big magnet.
26
00:01:54,139 --> 00:01:57,809
I'm thinking about, uh,
starting to use a washcloth.
27
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,213
Carrie got, like, a whole
bunch of new ones, you know?
28
00:02:02,215 --> 00:02:03,614
I'm usually, like, a
soap-to-skin guy.
29
00:02:03,616 --> 00:02:05,382
I don't know, I might go for it.
30
00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:07,318
Mm. Good luck with that.
31
00:02:09,788 --> 00:02:12,123
Hey there. I thought you
guys might like a refill
32
00:02:12,125 --> 00:02:13,490
on your iced teas.
33
00:02:13,492 --> 00:02:16,493
I love a waitress who's
on top of the refills.
34
00:02:16,495 --> 00:02:18,096
On a slightly related note,
35
00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:19,430
I'm gonna go use the rest room.
36
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,100
Well...
37
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:24,268
guess you liked your
potato skins, huh?
38
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,269
Ah...
39
00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,637
actually, I like any food
40
00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:28,139
that comes in a basket.
41
00:02:28,141 --> 00:02:30,641
That, or anything with
one of those, like,
42
00:02:30,643 --> 00:02:32,143
little toothpick flags in it.
43
00:02:32,145 --> 00:02:33,277
What I'm basically saying
44
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:35,446
is don't take me to a
French restaurant.
45
00:02:37,015 --> 00:02:39,016
Can I get you anything else?
46
00:02:39,018 --> 00:02:40,417
Because my shift is almost over.
47
00:02:40,419 --> 00:02:41,919
No, I'm... I'm good.
48
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,154
Oh, okay.
49
00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:45,656
So I'll just leave
the check over here,
50
00:02:45,658 --> 00:02:46,858
and...
51
00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:48,559
you can stay as
long as you like.
52
00:02:48,561 --> 00:02:50,427
Okay. I'll lock up when I go.
53
00:02:51,696 --> 00:02:54,298
Okay, well, bye.
54
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,332
Bye.
55
00:03:20,959 --> 00:03:23,127
Well...
56
00:03:23,129 --> 00:03:24,728
that was interesting.
57
00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:25,863
What was?
58
00:03:25,865 --> 00:03:27,364
Our waitress just asked me
59
00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:28,800
about your situation.
60
00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:30,968
Nice work, my man.
61
00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:32,870
Oh, we better get going.
I've gotta get back...
62
00:03:32,872 --> 00:03:35,372
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
63
00:03:35,374 --> 00:03:37,875
What did you just say?
64
00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:40,311
She asked about your situation.
65
00:03:40,313 --> 00:03:42,513
I think she has a little thing for you.
Come on.
66
00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:44,081
Hey, you know what?
First of all,
67
00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:45,183
stop getting up.
68
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:50,688
Now, I want you to tell
me exactly what she said,
69
00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:53,691
and I want you to tell
me very, very slowly.
70
00:03:53,693 --> 00:03:54,826
Okay, okay. Fine.
71
00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:57,228
She said, uh, she
thought you were cute,
72
00:03:57,230 --> 00:03:59,197
or a cutie. And then...
73
00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:01,165
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Which one?
74
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:02,566
I don't remember.
75
00:04:02,568 --> 00:04:04,468
Well, they're very different.
Remember.
76
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,837
Cute. She said you were cute.
77
00:04:05,839 --> 00:04:07,471
All right. That's the good one.
78
00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:09,240
What are you getting
so worked up about?
79
00:04:09,242 --> 00:04:10,507
You're not gonna do anything.
80
00:04:10,509 --> 00:04:13,010
Of course I'm not
gonna do anything.
81
00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:14,478
What else did she say?
82
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,981
She said you were
cute, and, oh...
83
00:04:16,983 --> 00:04:18,082
And funny.
84
00:04:18,084 --> 00:04:19,583
Cute and funny?
85
00:04:19,585 --> 00:04:21,085
Oh, my God,
86
00:04:21,087 --> 00:04:23,387
I'm the whole package for her.
87
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:24,421
Can we go now?
88
00:04:24,423 --> 00:04:25,923
Yeah, we can.
89
00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:28,993
Although she said I could
stay as long as I like.
90
00:04:28,995 --> 00:04:30,494
Look at this.
91
00:04:30,496 --> 00:04:33,130
Note on the check.
We have a note.
92
00:04:33,132 --> 00:04:35,099
Oh, things just keep
getting better.
93
00:04:36,335 --> 00:04:37,634
"Baskets rule.
94
00:04:37,636 --> 00:04:39,136
Jill."
95
00:04:39,138 --> 00:04:42,639
We had this whole little
thing going with baskets.
96
00:04:42,641 --> 00:04:43,975
Sounds magical.
97
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:49,280
♪ She was working
As a waitress ♪
98
00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:52,149
♪ In a cocktail bar
99
00:04:52,151 --> 00:04:54,085
♪ That much is true
100
00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:58,389
♪ Oh, don't you want me?
101
00:04:58,391 --> 00:04:59,991
♪ You know I can't believe it ♪
102
00:04:59,993 --> 00:05:02,026
♪ When you say That
you don't need me ♪
103
00:05:02,028 --> 00:05:04,561
♪ Oh, don't you want me?
104
00:05:04,563 --> 00:05:05,696
Hey.
105
00:05:05,698 --> 00:05:07,631
Hello.
106
00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:09,133
I'm on the phone with Kelly.
107
00:05:09,135 --> 00:05:11,502
We're trying to figure
out which movie to see.
108
00:05:11,504 --> 00:05:12,803
You're wearing trousers?
109
00:05:12,805 --> 00:05:13,804
Yeah.
110
00:05:13,806 --> 00:05:15,306
Trousers. Slacks.
111
00:05:15,308 --> 00:05:17,541
Fancy pants.
112
00:05:18,911 --> 00:05:21,545
Did you lose all your jeans?
113
00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:23,714
No. I just felt like
kicking it up a notch.
114
00:05:23,716 --> 00:05:25,649
Well, now you're dressed
better than me.
115
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:28,619
I have to change.
Thank you very much.
116
00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:31,355
Yeah, Kel, I'm still
here, sweetie.
117
00:05:31,357 --> 00:05:33,624
Doug is wearing nice pants.
118
00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:35,293
I know. It's weird.
119
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,129
I don't know. Let me ask him.
120
00:05:38,131 --> 00:05:39,730
They want to see The Prosecutor.
121
00:05:39,732 --> 00:05:42,266
I saw it with Spence.
How about Freeze?
122
00:05:42,268 --> 00:05:45,136
Um, what about Freeze?
123
00:05:45,138 --> 00:05:47,638
Well... ask Deacon.
I'll hold on.
124
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,407
Honey, I don't want
to see Freeze.
125
00:05:49,409 --> 00:05:50,607
Why not?
126
00:05:50,609 --> 00:05:51,608
A whole movie
127
00:05:51,610 --> 00:05:53,110
set in a futuristic ice world?
128
00:05:53,112 --> 00:05:54,145
I'm not into it.
129
00:05:54,147 --> 00:05:56,880
Plus I don't like Rosie Perez.
130
00:05:56,882 --> 00:05:57,881
Whoa.
131
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:59,150
You wearing cologne?
132
00:05:59,152 --> 00:06:01,585
Yeah. I picked some
up on the way home.
133
00:06:01,587 --> 00:06:03,254
I think I'm gonna start
smelling better.
134
00:06:05,590 --> 00:06:08,259
Well, I hope you don't need
to sneak up on anybody.
135
00:06:08,261 --> 00:06:09,327
Hey!
136
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:10,794
Not nice. Come on.
137
00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:12,596
What is up with you tonight?
138
00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:14,865
What? Can't a guy
be in a good mood?
139
00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:18,369
Handsome man going out on a
date with his beautiful wife.
140
00:06:18,371 --> 00:06:21,105
Uh-huh. Get your groove on.
141
00:06:21,107 --> 00:06:22,606
Yeah, I'm still here.
142
00:06:22,608 --> 00:06:23,941
Oh, really?
143
00:06:23,943 --> 00:06:25,443
Deacon saw Freeze.
144
00:06:25,445 --> 00:06:26,978
So I'll see The
Prosecutor again.
145
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:28,579
You don't want to see it again.
146
00:06:28,581 --> 00:06:32,083
It's all right. I'll take
a bullet for the group.
147
00:06:32,085 --> 00:06:34,785
Oh, yeah, I'd see that. Okay.
148
00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:36,620
What about, uh, Population Zero?
149
00:06:36,622 --> 00:06:39,323
Population, me.
150
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:42,126
I think he just said yes.
151
00:06:42,128 --> 00:06:45,329
Okay. We'll meet you
at the Midway at 8:00.
152
00:06:45,331 --> 00:06:46,397
Okay, sweetie. Bye.
153
00:06:46,399 --> 00:06:48,165
Good evening.
154
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:50,001
Well, you kids look nice.
155
00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:51,568
What, are you
getting on a plane?
156
00:06:53,638 --> 00:06:55,172
Just going to see a movie.
157
00:06:55,174 --> 00:06:56,673
Ah, the cinema.
158
00:06:56,675 --> 00:06:59,910
America's ongoing love affair
with the motion picture.
159
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,714
Do you, uh, you have
any plans, Dad?
160
00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:06,183
Oh, well, I did have plans
with my friend Len,
161
00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:08,185
but he's having chest pains.
162
00:07:08,187 --> 00:07:10,187
On the bright side,
now I have a chance
163
00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:14,091
to put the soy sauce packets
into one larger bottle.
164
00:07:14,093 --> 00:07:16,360
Have a nice night.
165
00:07:16,362 --> 00:07:17,961
Would you like to join us?
166
00:07:17,963 --> 00:07:21,598
Well, this is pretty
last-minute, but sure, why not?
167
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,200
What are you seeing?
168
00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:24,402
Population Zero.
169
00:07:24,404 --> 00:07:25,436
Seen it.
170
00:07:31,943 --> 00:07:33,110
How you doing?
171
00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:36,147
Hey...
172
00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:40,117
Slow your roll, player.
173
00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:43,220
Why won't you listen to me?
This is a lousy movie!
174
00:07:43,222 --> 00:07:44,621
We're seeing it, Dad.
175
00:07:44,623 --> 00:07:47,291
I'll tell you the surprise
ending right now.
176
00:07:47,293 --> 00:07:50,461
Do it, and I'll give
you a surprise ending.
177
00:07:50,463 --> 00:07:51,529
So noted.
178
00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,131
Hey, babe, you want popcorn?
179
00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:55,132
Yes, thank you.
180
00:07:55,134 --> 00:07:55,999
We'll get seats.
181
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:03,807
What you got on?
182
00:08:03,809 --> 00:08:05,076
Cologne?
183
00:08:05,078 --> 00:08:06,577
Yeah. It's, uh, Drakkar.
184
00:08:06,579 --> 00:08:08,579
It's a citrusy, masculine scent.
185
00:08:08,581 --> 00:08:10,581
I know what Drakkar is.
186
00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:12,283
I wore it in high school.
187
00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:14,818
Hey there.
188
00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,820
Large pop-corny-corn
and a mineral water,
189
00:08:16,822 --> 00:08:18,222
por favor.
190
00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:26,097
All right. Food in a bucket,
you know what I'm saying?
191
00:08:26,099 --> 00:08:27,364
You know.
192
00:08:30,502 --> 00:08:32,002
Well, well, well,
193
00:08:32,004 --> 00:08:34,472
if it isn't Mr. Chest Pains.
194
00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:35,606
What?
195
00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:37,608
The man who couldn't
go out tonight
196
00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,110
because he had chest pains
197
00:08:39,112 --> 00:08:41,112
is sitting four
rows ahead of us.
198
00:08:41,114 --> 00:08:42,613
Excuse me.
199
00:08:42,615 --> 00:08:45,082
Take care of business, Dad.
200
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:47,151
So I heard your boy got a
little compliment today.
201
00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:48,486
Huh?
202
00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:50,287
Deacon told me what
happened at Cooper's.
203
00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:51,888
Doug didn't tell you?
204
00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:52,889
No.
205
00:08:52,891 --> 00:08:54,891
Apparently some
new, cute waitress
206
00:08:54,893 --> 00:08:56,527
asked about his situation.
207
00:08:56,529 --> 00:08:57,794
Oh, really?
208
00:08:57,796 --> 00:09:01,565
Oh, so that's why he's
been acting like this.
209
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:03,066
Huh.
210
00:09:03,068 --> 00:09:04,668
Okay, trouser man.
211
00:09:05,803 --> 00:09:07,304
Claims he felt better
212
00:09:07,306 --> 00:09:09,072
and he tried to call me.
213
00:09:09,074 --> 00:09:11,509
Hah! Like I'm supposed
to believe that?
214
00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:12,510
Lennie!
215
00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:14,011
Enjoy the movie.
216
00:09:14,013 --> 00:09:16,880
By the way, the lab chief
turns out to be a robot,
217
00:09:16,882 --> 00:09:18,482
and the bomb is inside him!
218
00:09:18,484 --> 00:09:20,717
Aww! Shh! Shut up!
219
00:09:23,588 --> 00:09:25,088
Hey.
220
00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:26,089
Hey.
221
00:09:26,091 --> 00:09:27,724
There you go, sweetie. Thanks.
222
00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:29,726
Here you are, sweet thing.
223
00:09:29,728 --> 00:09:31,728
No... you're the sweet thing.
224
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,730
So, what's up? No candy?
225
00:09:33,732 --> 00:09:35,599
Nah. I just got a mineral water.
226
00:09:35,601 --> 00:09:37,000
I'm gonna try and drop a few.
227
00:09:37,002 --> 00:09:39,036
Uh-huh.
228
00:09:39,038 --> 00:09:40,271
Good for you.
229
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,742
PREVIEW ANNOUNCER: In war,
230
00:09:45,744 --> 00:09:48,111
sometimes the first to die
231
00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:50,614
are the ones who
least deserve to.
232
00:09:52,117 --> 00:09:54,117
WOMAN: My baby!
233
00:09:54,119 --> 00:09:56,420
My baby!
234
00:09:59,824 --> 00:10:01,625
Doug...
235
00:10:01,627 --> 00:10:04,127
A baby just exploded.
236
00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:06,063
Why are you smiling?
237
00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:08,165
I'm not. I'm not. It's sad.
238
00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:12,769
WOMAN: Kill me too!
239
00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:14,137
Kill me too,
240
00:10:14,139 --> 00:10:16,740
you bastards!
241
00:10:35,318 --> 00:10:37,319
How was that?
242
00:10:37,321 --> 00:10:39,287
It was fantastic.
243
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:42,525
Ow!
244
00:10:42,527 --> 00:10:44,560
What the hell is that for?
245
00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:47,563
Kelly told me about your little
thing with the waitress.
246
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,097
We're you planning
on telling me?
247
00:10:49,099 --> 00:10:50,599
I don't know, uh...
248
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,701
You're not jealous, are you?
249
00:10:52,703 --> 00:10:55,905
No. It has nothing
to do with the girl.
250
00:10:55,907 --> 00:10:57,406
It's you. Obviously this thing
251
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:59,074
has turned your whole
world upside down.
252
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,576
What? It has not.
253
00:11:00,578 --> 00:11:02,578
Oh, please. The nice
pants, the cologne,
254
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:03,846
the great sex.
255
00:11:03,848 --> 00:11:04,980
Oh...
256
00:11:04,982 --> 00:11:07,716
first of all, the sex
was not that good.
257
00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:09,518
You were great.
258
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,520
I disagree. Doug...
259
00:11:11,522 --> 00:11:13,022
Look, I was... My
moves were clumsy,
260
00:11:13,024 --> 00:11:16,025
I was all over the place.
I was out of control.
261
00:11:16,027 --> 00:11:19,294
How you got any pleasure out
of it is a complete mystery.
262
00:11:19,296 --> 00:11:21,997
Come on, you were good.
Just admit it.
263
00:11:21,999 --> 00:11:23,498
Just admit that you were good.
264
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,034
I was all right.
265
00:11:25,036 --> 00:11:26,635
I was pretty good.
266
00:11:26,637 --> 00:11:28,571
Ow!
267
00:11:28,573 --> 00:11:30,739
Look, I don't feel
like I have anything
268
00:11:30,741 --> 00:11:32,240
to apologize for here, Carrie.
269
00:11:32,242 --> 00:11:33,842
All right, a woman
was attracted to me.
270
00:11:33,844 --> 00:11:35,744
You know I would
never act on it.
271
00:11:35,746 --> 00:11:37,980
So what? You know, it made
me feel good about myself.
272
00:11:37,982 --> 00:11:40,282
I slapped on some cologne and
made you wake the neighbors.
273
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,316
Big deal.
274
00:11:41,318 --> 00:11:43,619
Doug, how do you think
that makes me feel?
275
00:11:43,621 --> 00:11:45,621
I mean, I'm attracted to you.
276
00:11:45,623 --> 00:11:47,022
I married you.
277
00:11:47,024 --> 00:11:49,792
I promised to love you
until the day I die.
278
00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:51,627
Why doesn't any of that
make you walk around
279
00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,128
with a stupid grin on your face?
280
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,030
Because you're already a given.
281
00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:56,264
You know? You're already...
282
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:59,034
part of the wonderful tapestry
283
00:11:59,036 --> 00:12:00,970
that is my life.
284
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:02,471
So that's what I am?
285
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:03,839
I'm tapestry?
286
00:12:03,841 --> 00:12:05,841
Tapestry is good.
287
00:12:05,843 --> 00:12:07,977
It's woven on a loom.
288
00:12:07,979 --> 00:12:11,914
You know? Loom, you understand?
Loom?
289
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:14,416
No, I don't understand, Doug.
290
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:16,418
I mean, you don't see
me acting like this,
291
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:17,920
and believe me, I could.
292
00:12:17,922 --> 00:12:19,488
Strangers check me
out all the time.
293
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:21,757
I get my ass touched on
the subway every day.
294
00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:25,560
Well, then, you should wash
your ass when you get home.
295
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:28,396
Okay.
296
00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:29,898
My point is,
297
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,800
it has no effect on me.
298
00:12:31,802 --> 00:12:34,803
Yeah, that's because it
happens to you all the time.
299
00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:37,339
I never get my ass
touched on the subway.
300
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:38,841
Well, you know what?
301
00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:42,011
Hello! Got my ass touched
on the subway of life.
302
00:12:42,013 --> 00:12:43,846
And it is a big deal to me.
303
00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,014
Fine. You know what?
304
00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:46,314
If a stupid little comment
305
00:12:46,316 --> 00:12:49,217
from some bimbo waitress
gets you all revved up,
306
00:12:49,219 --> 00:12:50,418
then God bless.
307
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,420
Oh, I... I see how it works.
308
00:12:52,422 --> 00:12:54,723
Because it's me, it's just gotta
be some stupid little comment,
309
00:12:54,725 --> 00:12:56,158
right? Yeah?
310
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,827
Well, then why did she take the
time to leave a note, huh?
311
00:12:58,829 --> 00:12:59,828
A note?
312
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:02,531
Yeah, on the check. Yeah. Note.
313
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:04,967
And what did this
little note say,
314
00:13:04,969 --> 00:13:06,301
"Way to eat"?
315
00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:09,772
No. You're way off.
316
00:13:09,774 --> 00:13:11,774
It said, "Baskets rule. Jill."
317
00:13:11,776 --> 00:13:14,509
Then she drew a
little smiley face.
318
00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:16,979
Ooh. A smiley face.
319
00:13:16,981 --> 00:13:18,613
That mean Jill happy.
320
00:13:21,851 --> 00:13:23,986
I... I don't want to talk
about this anymore, Carrie.
321
00:13:23,988 --> 00:13:26,989
If you can't be supportive
about another woman liking me,
322
00:13:26,991 --> 00:13:28,490
then this conversation's over.
323
00:13:30,093 --> 00:13:31,593
Fine. You know what?
324
00:13:31,595 --> 00:13:34,096
Go out there and get
your little compliments,
325
00:13:34,098 --> 00:13:35,597
your little smiley faces.
326
00:13:35,599 --> 00:13:37,099
You know what? Enjoy them.
327
00:13:37,101 --> 00:13:38,500
Why don't you start dressing
328
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:40,035
a little bit more
provocatively, huh?
329
00:13:40,037 --> 00:13:41,136
Show a little cleavage?
330
00:13:41,138 --> 00:13:42,137
Yeah, maybe I will.
331
00:13:42,139 --> 00:13:43,471
Well, great!
332
00:13:43,473 --> 00:13:45,507
You know what? I'm a
delicious piece of man meat,
333
00:13:45,509 --> 00:13:47,876
and you're just gonna have
to learn to deal with it.
334
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:51,346
I'm electric.
335
00:13:56,953 --> 00:13:58,987
DEACON: Come on, man, what
are we doing back here?
336
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:00,322
We're getting some burgers,
337
00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:01,924
we're gonna watch the
Florida-Nebraska game.
338
00:14:01,926 --> 00:14:03,992
That's what we're doing here.
339
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,929
Is she working today?
340
00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:11,166
I don't know. I didn't
make this week's schedule.
341
00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:13,802
Oh, here we go. Showtime.
342
00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:15,537
Yah.
343
00:14:17,841 --> 00:14:20,475
I think I'm going for the ribs.
344
00:14:20,477 --> 00:14:22,978
Oh, yeah? You think you're
going for the ribs?
345
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,479
You into the ribs?
346
00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:25,981
You're doing rib-eyes?
347
00:14:25,983 --> 00:14:27,482
You gonna do the ribs? The ribs.
348
00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,351
Give me a little high
five on the rib-eye!
349
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,855
You wanna high-five ribs?
350
00:14:32,857 --> 00:14:35,624
No, I don't wanna high-five ribs.
Wachakata!
351
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:40,763
You, Steve, what's up, man?
352
00:14:40,765 --> 00:14:42,765
Stevie! You freak show,
what are you doing?
353
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,266
You drinking beer over there?
354
00:14:44,268 --> 00:14:46,268
I have those pants too.
355
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:47,569
Got the same...
356
00:14:47,571 --> 00:14:49,671
Hey there. I'll be
right with you.
357
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:51,673
"Right with you"?
That's all I get?
358
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,108
It's like I'm just a customer.
359
00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:55,878
You are just a customer.
360
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,646
She asked about my situation.
361
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,047
And I told her you were married.
362
00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:02,384
Excuse me. Am I not still cute?
Am I not still funny?
363
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:05,387
I'm sorry to make you wait,
but it's crazy in here today.
364
00:15:05,389 --> 00:15:06,554
What can I get you?
365
00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:07,956
I'll have the ribs and a Coke.
366
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:09,758
Okay. And for you?
367
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,660
I'll, uh, have a
burger and fries.
368
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,662
And, uh... Hey, make sure
it comes in a basket.
369
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:14,963
Oh, yeah, right.
370
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:17,465
Remember? Because baskets rule.
They rule.
371
00:15:23,439 --> 00:15:24,873
I... I don't get this.
372
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:26,374
What did you expect to happen?
373
00:15:26,376 --> 00:15:29,377
I don't know. Carrie was just so...
about the whole thing,
374
00:15:29,379 --> 00:15:31,479
like... no hot girl
could ever be into me,
375
00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:33,682
that I just want to...
come down here and...
376
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:34,983
And what?
377
00:15:34,985 --> 00:15:36,985
I don't know. Prove to myself
378
00:15:36,987 --> 00:15:39,721
that I still got the juice,
the heat, the yuspa-a-a...
379
00:15:44,829 --> 00:15:46,862
Okay, now she's laughing
with an ugly guy.
380
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,563
What the hell is
this crap about?
381
00:15:52,302 --> 00:15:53,568
Hey, whoa, whoa.
Where you going?
382
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,204
I'm gonna see if he got a note.
383
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,475
Hey, man, did you get
overcharged for your soda?
384
00:16:00,477 --> 00:16:01,643
Because we did, and, uh...
385
00:16:01,645 --> 00:16:03,645
"Happy mozzarella trails"?
386
00:16:03,647 --> 00:16:05,314
"Jill"?
387
00:16:05,316 --> 00:16:07,082
Note slut.
388
00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:13,121
CARRIE: Okay.
389
00:16:13,123 --> 00:16:15,123
Which one of these skankaroos
390
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,459
do you think is Jill?
391
00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:20,462
I cannot wait to
see this winner.
392
00:16:20,464 --> 00:16:23,298
She's gonna be bru-tal.
393
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:24,799
Oh, oh, maybe that's her.
394
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,801
Oh, no, no. That's not her.
395
00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:28,303
She's been here for a while.
396
00:16:28,305 --> 00:16:30,638
Although she is a skankaroo.
397
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,974
Oh.
398
00:16:31,976 --> 00:16:34,176
What about her? Her.
399
00:16:34,178 --> 00:16:35,177
Hello.
400
00:16:35,179 --> 00:16:38,180
We can see your pantylines.
Okay?
401
00:16:38,182 --> 00:16:40,548
Little tip... invest in
a full-length mirror,
402
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:42,251
and turn around in it.
403
00:16:42,253 --> 00:16:43,418
Oh, stop it.
404
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,520
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
405
00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:46,989
Hi. I'm Jill.
406
00:16:46,991 --> 00:16:49,958
Wow. You are really attractive.
407
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,426
Oh, thank you.
408
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,929
Um, are you guys ready to order?
409
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,664
No, don't think we are, Jill.
410
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:58,867
Why don't you write
someone a note
411
00:16:58,869 --> 00:17:00,602
with a little smiley face on it,
412
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:02,604
and then maybe I'll be ready.
Okay?
413
00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:04,439
Okay. Um...
414
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:05,807
just let me know.
415
00:17:07,176 --> 00:17:10,178
Wow! Did you see the
attitude on that one?
416
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:12,180
Out of control.
417
00:17:12,182 --> 00:17:13,681
Wow!
418
00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:16,084
I actually thought she
was pretty sweet.
419
00:17:16,086 --> 00:17:17,585
Sweet, huh?
420
00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:19,321
Oh, I see she's cast
her little spell
421
00:17:19,323 --> 00:17:21,456
on you, too, now, hmm?
422
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,524
Girl, you gotta stop now.
423
00:17:22,526 --> 00:17:25,127
No. I don't need to stop.
I am fine.
424
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:26,295
You are not fine.
425
00:17:26,297 --> 00:17:27,896
You're right. I'm not.
Why am I not?
426
00:17:27,898 --> 00:17:29,197
I'm not sure. You know Doug
427
00:17:29,199 --> 00:17:30,465
is not gonna fool around, right?
428
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,967
Of course not.
429
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,435
So, what is it?
430
00:17:34,737 --> 00:17:37,239
Everything was fine until
he got checked out.
431
00:17:37,241 --> 00:17:40,042
Why did he have to
get checked out?
432
00:17:40,044 --> 00:17:41,543
Why is that such a problem?
433
00:17:41,545 --> 00:17:43,045
Because, you know,
434
00:17:43,047 --> 00:17:45,047
Doug was always, like,
the funny one, you know?
435
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:46,949
The guy who makes everybody
laugh at parties.
436
00:17:46,951 --> 00:17:48,783
And I was the one who
got checked out.
437
00:17:48,785 --> 00:17:50,785
Now he's getting
checked out too?
438
00:17:50,787 --> 00:17:52,454
I mean, he's got it all!
439
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:56,959
So you're unhappy because your
husband is funny and hot?
440
00:17:58,428 --> 00:17:59,894
Yes.
441
00:18:06,735 --> 00:18:08,437
Douglas, hello.
442
00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:09,938
Hey.
443
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,739
Why so glum, chum?
444
00:18:15,111 --> 00:18:16,611
Long story.
445
00:18:16,613 --> 00:18:19,114
Well, fortunately, I
have nowhere to be
446
00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:20,983
for the next eight
and a half days.
447
00:18:23,552 --> 00:18:25,454
Ah...
448
00:18:25,456 --> 00:18:27,456
I'm just an idiot.
449
00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:29,958
Some waitress asked
about my "situation,"
450
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,961
so for a day I was
walking around here
451
00:18:32,963 --> 00:18:34,529
like I was hot crap.
452
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,531
Ah, it's a powerful tonic
453
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:39,034
when a member of the fairer sex
454
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:42,237
casts an admiring glance
in your direction.
455
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,374
Big knockers?
456
00:18:57,853 --> 00:18:59,488
Don't feel too badly, Douglas.
457
00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:01,523
The same thing
happened to me once.
458
00:19:01,525 --> 00:19:02,824
Really?
459
00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:04,259
Sure.
460
00:19:04,261 --> 00:19:06,261
Many years ago I was at a party
461
00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:09,264
where I encountered a
beautiful young starlet.
462
00:19:09,266 --> 00:19:11,766
She had just finished
shooting Picnic
463
00:19:11,768 --> 00:19:13,435
with William Holden.
464
00:19:13,437 --> 00:19:15,370
She played...
465
00:19:15,372 --> 00:19:17,539
"Girl with Watermelon."
466
00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:21,809
I think you know who
I'm talking about.
467
00:19:23,046 --> 00:19:26,548
Sorry. I have no idea.
468
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:29,217
Oh, you'll know when
I say the name...
469
00:19:29,219 --> 00:19:30,552
Phyllis McCrane?
470
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,574
Still nothing.
471
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:39,827
One of the McCrane sisters?
472
00:19:39,829 --> 00:19:42,730
Oh, yeah. Phyllis
and the other one.
473
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:45,233
The other two. The other two.
Right.
474
00:19:45,235 --> 00:19:47,235
Well, anyway, it seems as though
475
00:19:47,237 --> 00:19:49,971
Phyllis was flirting with me
throughout the entire party.
476
00:19:49,973 --> 00:19:51,473
Oh, but she wasn't.
477
00:19:51,475 --> 00:19:53,308
Oh, she certainly was.
478
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:56,478
We wound up making love
in her beach house
479
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,513
till the sun came up.
480
00:19:58,515 --> 00:20:00,048
Why are you telling me this?
481
00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,983
It's not even close to
what happened to me.
482
00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:03,485
Hey! Just because you whiffed,
483
00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:04,719
don't take it out on me!
484
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,301
Hey, sexy.
485
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:20,802
Yeah, I am, okay?
486
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:24,306
What, exactly, about me does it for you?
What lights you up?
487
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:27,309
What is it, that I can
burp on command, or...
488
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:30,245
the way my stomach jiggles
when I brush my teeth?
489
00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:35,883
What happened to you?
490
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:36,951
You were... You were right.
491
00:20:36,953 --> 00:20:37,952
You know?
492
00:20:37,954 --> 00:20:39,954
I was back down at Cooper's,
493
00:20:39,956 --> 00:20:42,390
and that... That waitress
wouldn't even look at me.
494
00:20:42,392 --> 00:20:44,526
She couldn't have cared less.
495
00:20:44,528 --> 00:20:47,395
I got no heat. I got no juice.
I got nothing.
496
00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:50,198
Doug, I wasn't right.
497
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,199
You were.
498
00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:52,700
No. I was wrong.
499
00:20:52,702 --> 00:20:55,537
I bet the only reason why
Jill isn't into you anymore
500
00:20:55,539 --> 00:20:57,205
is because she knows
you're married.
501
00:20:57,207 --> 00:20:58,773
You're off the market.
502
00:20:58,775 --> 00:21:00,642
Ah...
503
00:21:00,644 --> 00:21:02,477
Doug, you are hot.
504
00:21:02,479 --> 00:21:05,113
People ask about
you all the time.
505
00:21:05,115 --> 00:21:06,515
Like who?
506
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:08,517
A secretary from my office.
507
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:10,485
Andrea?
508
00:21:10,487 --> 00:21:11,386
No. Jeff.
509
00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:17,359
What?
510
00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:18,726
Jeff?
511
00:21:18,728 --> 00:21:21,229
Yes! Gay people
have great taste.
512
00:21:21,231 --> 00:21:22,997
They're very body conscious.
513
00:21:22,999 --> 00:21:25,167
It's all about the
body for them.
514
00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:27,636
That's true.
515
00:21:27,638 --> 00:21:28,903
Mm-hmm.
516
00:21:28,905 --> 00:21:31,506
So... why don't we both admit
517
00:21:31,508 --> 00:21:34,509
that we, uh, we got a
little carried away and...
518
00:21:34,511 --> 00:21:35,943
and just move on?
519
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:40,048
Okay, you're right. I love you.
520
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:41,049
Mm.
521
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:42,984
I love you too, sweetheart.
522
00:21:42,986 --> 00:21:44,786
Mmm! Mmm!
523
00:21:52,295 --> 00:21:53,761
So...
524
00:21:53,763 --> 00:21:55,830
What exactly did Jeff say?
525
00:22:11,123 --> 00:22:12,856
WOMAN: You've reached
the McCrane sisters.
526
00:22:12,858 --> 00:22:14,824
♪ Phyllis ♪ Vivien
527
00:22:14,826 --> 00:22:16,226
♪ Theodora
528
00:22:16,228 --> 00:22:19,896
ALL: ♪ Leave a message
at the be-e-ep ♪
529
00:22:21,099 --> 00:22:22,766
ARTHUR: Phyllis,
it's Biffy Spooner
530
00:22:22,768 --> 00:22:24,267
from 44 years ago.
531
00:22:24,557 --> 00:22:26,690
Give me a ringy-ding back.
35906
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