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1
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,973
- Morning, Dad.
- Morning.
2
00:00:09,189 --> 00:00:11,478
Where did you get
the Wall Street Journal?
3
00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:13,476
Oh, from the what-do-you-call-it?
4
00:00:13,735 --> 00:00:15,893
The neighbour's porch?
5
00:00:16,737 --> 00:00:19,607
- Right.
- You stole their newspaper?
6
00:00:19,865 --> 00:00:20,860
I did not steal it.
7
00:00:21,074 --> 00:00:22,698
It is a well-known principle
of common law
8
00:00:22,909 --> 00:00:27,369
that any newspaper not taken inside
by 7:30 a. m. is free game!
9
00:00:30,165 --> 00:00:31,872
It's 7:15.
10
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,957
They're dead asleep. I checked.
11
00:00:51,099 --> 00:00:54,716
Oh, man, where is Sara?
We're gonna be so late.
12
00:00:54,977 --> 00:00:58,310
- Where are you guys headed tonight?
- Rhonda Levine's bachelorette party.
13
00:00:58,563 --> 00:01:01,647
- I thought you went to that weeks ago.
- No, that was her engagement party.
14
00:01:01,857 --> 00:01:03,731
Then next week
I'm throwing her a bridal shower,
15
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:05,816
and a week from Saturday's
the rehearsal dinner,
16
00:01:06,028 --> 00:01:07,652
and then I'm a bridesmaid
in her wedding,
17
00:01:07,862 --> 00:01:10,898
and then, with any luck at all,
I'll never have to see her again.
18
00:01:11,157 --> 00:01:14,490
So, what kind of bachelorette party
this gonna be tonight, huh?
19
00:01:14,701 --> 00:01:17,073
Rowdy? Lot of drinking?
20
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,321
Well, I certainly hope so.
21
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,990
- Stripper?
- God willing.
22
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:25,374
Oh, well, do yourself a favour and
don't judge his body based on mine.
23
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:29,582
- Because it's not fair to him.
- Right. I won't, I won't.
24
00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,543
- By the way, you have a few singles?
- That's very funny, yeah.
25
00:01:33,091 --> 00:01:35,416
Hi. Oh, no, no, Carrie,
don't get him worked up.
26
00:01:35,677 --> 00:01:36,791
You're gonna make us late.
27
00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:39,010
Me? Do you know how late we are
because of you?
28
00:01:39,221 --> 00:01:41,759
Okay, so you had the bigger room
growing up, get over it.
29
00:01:41,974 --> 00:01:43,633
Let's just go. I'm parked out front.
30
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:46,175
- Okay, bye.
- What are you gonna do tonight?
31
00:01:46,436 --> 00:01:48,392
I'm just going to Cooper's.
Shoot some pool.
32
00:01:48,646 --> 00:01:51,432
- Okay, well, have fun. Okay, bye.
- Bye, bye, bye.
33
00:01:51,648 --> 00:01:53,890
Thank God it's Friday.
34
00:01:54,109 --> 00:01:56,148
I thought the weekend
would never get here.
35
00:01:56,402 --> 00:02:00,185
So where we off to tonight, kids?
Jazz at the Cotton Club?
36
00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:02,896
Prize-fight at the Yankee Stadium?
37
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,152
It is Friday, right?
38
00:02:09,413 --> 00:02:13,030
Yeah, just not in the year
that you think.
39
00:02:13,291 --> 00:02:15,082
Oh, well, whatever you kids
are into is fine,
40
00:02:15,293 --> 00:02:16,703
just as long as we have some fun.
41
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,410
So how about it, let's 23 skidoo!
42
00:02:22,298 --> 00:02:24,836
Actually, Dad, Sara and I
are going to a bachelorette party,
43
00:02:25,051 --> 00:02:28,300
and Doug's gonna hang out
with some of his friends.
44
00:02:29,221 --> 00:02:31,890
We didn't know that you were
expecting to go out tonight.
45
00:02:32,056 --> 00:02:34,808
Well, just a lifetime of habit,
I suppose.
46
00:02:35,059 --> 00:02:37,596
Friday night, big night.
47
00:02:38,645 --> 00:02:41,811
Well, anyway, you kids have fun.
48
00:02:42,065 --> 00:02:45,350
I'm gonna head back down and see
if I can't get that heater to stop leaking
49
00:02:45,609 --> 00:02:48,396
methane gas once and for all.
50
00:02:50,613 --> 00:02:53,186
Oh, God, you guys, I feel so bad.
51
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,649
He's been so lonely
since Tessie died.
52
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,776
I know.
And he put on Canoe and everything.
53
00:03:00,038 --> 00:03:01,413
I'm gonna go wait in the car.
54
00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:08,369
Doug, you don't suppose
that you could take him with you?
55
00:03:08,628 --> 00:03:10,537
Carrie, it's my one night out
with the guys.
56
00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:13,957
You're right, you're right. I'm sorry.
57
00:03:14,216 --> 00:03:16,588
- He'll be fine.
- I know, I know.
58
00:03:16,801 --> 00:03:20,668
- Okay, have a good time. Bye.
- Have fun.
59
00:03:31,814 --> 00:03:32,893
Arthur!
60
00:03:36,359 --> 00:03:37,390
So I'm telling her, I said,
61
00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:40,065
"Look, lady, I just need you
to sign for the package," right?
62
00:03:40,279 --> 00:03:41,773
"I'm not allowed to come inside. "
63
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,989
And then, I swear to God,
her robe just opens.
64
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,528
- What? Get out of here!
- Come on.
65
00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:49,826
I'm telling you. She pulls the sash,
the thing opens, boom.
66
00:03:50,037 --> 00:03:52,243
I'm staring right
at Simon and Garfunkel.
67
00:03:53,873 --> 00:03:57,158
- Oh, man, I would've gone for it.
- You would have run away screaming.
68
00:03:57,418 --> 00:03:59,078
Hey, I get hit on a lot at work, okay?
69
00:03:59,336 --> 00:04:00,830
What, when they're buying
subway tokens
70
00:04:01,046 --> 00:04:03,122
they fondle your hand
through the little slot?
71
00:04:03,381 --> 00:04:04,412
Yeah, your mother does.
72
00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:08,042
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
73
00:04:08,302 --> 00:04:09,926
Would you let me
finish my story, please?
74
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:13,801
- I'm trying to look like I'm not rattled.
- Hey, Doug. Where's the old man?
75
00:04:14,849 --> 00:04:16,557
Oh, there he is.
Let me go wrangle him, huh?
76
00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:22,556
Arthur, come on, let's go.
We got a booth.
77
00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:28,311
What kind of joint is this, anyway?
One of those private after-hour clubs?
78
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,146
It's just a place we hang out.
79
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:33,737
Cops ever come in and bust it up?
80
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:35,188
It's a restaurant. Come on.
81
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,827
- That's my marker, gentlemen!
- Okay.
82
00:04:40,036 --> 00:04:42,705
Let's go grab a seat, huh?
We're gonna have a nice meal.
83
00:04:42,955 --> 00:04:45,161
Get you a stiff drink.
We're gonna be fine.
84
00:04:45,374 --> 00:04:48,244
Here you go.
You get to sit right there.
85
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:50,417
These the same fellas
who were in the car with us?
86
00:04:50,628 --> 00:04:53,961
- Same ones. Okay, where was I?
- Robe.
87
00:04:54,173 --> 00:04:55,335
Her robe's open, right?
88
00:04:55,549 --> 00:04:57,340
She's got my pen.
So I'm looking at her, like:
89
00:04:57,551 --> 00:05:00,800
"Lady, if you don't sign for the package,
I'm gonna have to call my supervisor. "
90
00:05:01,054 --> 00:05:02,085
You're gonna call O'Boyle.
91
00:05:02,305 --> 00:05:04,676
He would've been there in five minutes
with his pants down.
92
00:05:04,932 --> 00:05:07,505
- O'Boyle? Who's O'Boyle?
- He's our boss at work.
93
00:05:07,726 --> 00:05:10,643
So anyway, robe's open,
completely open, she's got the pen.
94
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,513
- An Irishman?
- Who?
95
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,267
O'Boyle. He an Irishman?
96
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,355
Yeah, I guess so.
So what? It doesn't matter.
97
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,140
I fought in the Battle of the Bulge
with an Irishman.
98
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,187
His name was O'Shannon.
99
00:05:22,404 --> 00:05:24,977
Saw him get his nose
shot right off his face.
100
00:05:27,033 --> 00:05:30,947
Choked to death on his own blood,
screaming for his mother.
101
00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:34,577
Oh, but we saved
your precious Europe!
102
00:05:39,126 --> 00:05:41,913
- I think your pool table's open. Yeah.
- Is it?
103
00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:45,335
This one's for O'Shannon!
104
00:05:45,590 --> 00:05:47,878
- I'm sorry about him.
- No, it's fine.
105
00:05:48,092 --> 00:05:49,634
- Don't worry about it.
- Yeah.
106
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:52,215
It's not like he lives
in your house or anything.
107
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,840
Funny, you're funny.
Will you guys shut up?
108
00:05:56,057 --> 00:05:58,761
I got like a two-minute window here.
I can tell you this, all right?
109
00:05:58,976 --> 00:06:00,849
I had a marker down.
This is my table now.
110
00:06:01,436 --> 00:06:02,847
What marker?
What're you talking about?
111
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,473
Right here.
112
00:06:05,356 --> 00:06:08,807
That's a nickel.
It's four quarters to play the table.
113
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,692
Excuse me.
114
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,277
Looks like you missed.
115
00:06:19,535 --> 00:06:23,994
Now get off my table unless you feel
like dancing with the snowman!
116
00:06:25,331 --> 00:06:28,782
I'm not gonna get
to finish this story, am I?
117
00:06:34,672 --> 00:06:39,132
What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man
118
00:06:41,553 --> 00:06:43,177
I thought that guy really had us,
Douglas,
119
00:06:43,387 --> 00:06:45,593
but you lost him
with that nifty driving of yours.
120
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,549
What do you call that manoeuvre,
anyway?
121
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,136
A right turn.
122
00:06:51,769 --> 00:06:52,932
What a night we had, Carrie.
123
00:06:53,145 --> 00:06:56,430
Bar fight, car chase,
topped off by a fine dinner at-
124
00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:59,602
- What was that place, Douglas?
- White Castle.
125
00:07:01,611 --> 00:07:04,101
Well, I'm glad you had fun, Dad.
126
00:07:04,321 --> 00:07:06,693
Listen, it's pretty late,
why don't you head on down to bed.
127
00:07:06,907 --> 00:07:10,607
Well, I'm pretty wired,
but that's what the pills are for.
128
00:07:11,911 --> 00:07:14,401
Douglas, you're a good boy.
129
00:07:17,123 --> 00:07:20,871
Oh, you took him anyway.
That was so sweet.
130
00:07:21,085 --> 00:07:24,085
- Yeah, yeah.
- Was it terrible?
131
00:07:24,338 --> 00:07:26,911
Well, he's quite a cupcake.
132
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:32,547
Well, thank you.
Thank you very, very, very much.
133
00:07:32,761 --> 00:07:34,718
I love you, I love you, I love you.
134
00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:38,421
Had a couple drinks, did you?
135
00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:42,639
I don't know what gets into
your father sometimes, you know?
136
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,260
He's like a boxer
that doesn't hear the bell.
137
00:07:48,024 --> 00:07:50,016
You hit something there.
138
00:07:52,319 --> 00:07:53,979
Saucy.
139
00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:58,772
Wow, you've learned me.
140
00:08:00,659 --> 00:08:02,698
Where we going, upstairs?
141
00:08:02,911 --> 00:08:04,702
Be gentle.
142
00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:16,203
- Hey.
- What's up, Deac?
143
00:08:16,422 --> 00:08:18,710
I got your jacket.
You left it at Cooper's last night.
144
00:08:18,924 --> 00:08:20,833
Thank you.
145
00:08:21,509 --> 00:08:23,169
You're awfully chipper for a guy
146
00:08:23,386 --> 00:08:26,727
who was chased out of a bar
making girly noises.
147
00:08:26,764 --> 00:08:29,433
So pancake? Waffle?
How about a pancake-waffle combo?
148
00:08:29,599 --> 00:08:31,805
Huh, what do you say?
Like, a "paffle"?
149
00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,470
Yeah, any of that's fine.
150
00:08:33,686 --> 00:08:37,600
So seriously, man,
what's this good mood all about?
151
00:08:39,608 --> 00:08:41,315
Nothing special.
152
00:08:41,568 --> 00:08:43,394
No, come on. What?
153
00:08:43,611 --> 00:08:46,066
When Carrie saw that I'd taken
Arthur out with us last night,
154
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,857
she was, how shall I say,
appreciative.
155
00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:52,780
You had sex.
156
00:08:53,035 --> 00:08:57,412
Sort of.
Certainly was in the sex family.
157
00:08:58,540 --> 00:08:59,619
What do you mean?
158
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:02,833
Let's just say that last night
was Doug time.
159
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:08,330
- Oh, you mean-?
- That's right, my friend.
160
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,750
Mazel tov.
161
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:15,384
I guess it goes to show you that it pays
to be nice to your wife's father, huh?
162
00:09:15,637 --> 00:09:16,882
Yeah, maybe I'll try that.
163
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:20,050
I know begging and crying
haven't worked.
164
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:24,303
Dad, could you grab me
the blue package in the back seat?
165
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:26,559
No, the blue one.
166
00:09:26,813 --> 00:09:28,307
That's not the blue one.
167
00:09:28,523 --> 00:09:30,811
Oh, that's not the back seat.
168
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:32,483
Okay, that's not our car!
169
00:09:34,319 --> 00:09:37,355
Fine, just bring me that.
170
00:09:37,614 --> 00:09:40,151
- Hey, Deac. Hey, honey.
- All this stuff for the bridal shower?
171
00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:42,524
Yes, and I still have to pick up
the cake and the wine,
172
00:09:42,784 --> 00:09:44,611
and bring Dad
to the eye doctor by 11.
173
00:09:44,828 --> 00:09:47,497
I should have never agreed
to throw this stupid party.
174
00:09:48,331 --> 00:09:50,240
Well, Car, you know what?
175
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,865
If you want, I can take your father
to the eye doctor.
176
00:09:54,711 --> 00:09:57,914
If it's something
you might appreciate.
177
00:09:58,547 --> 00:10:00,374
That's great, hon. Thanks.
178
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,129
That didn't land, did it?
179
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,294
- Nope.
- Yeah.
180
00:10:05,845 --> 00:10:07,505
How do these figure
into the bridal shower?
181
00:10:07,722 --> 00:10:09,548
Give me that! Thank you.
182
00:10:09,765 --> 00:10:11,093
Look, Dad, I have to run back out.
183
00:10:11,308 --> 00:10:13,977
Doug's gonna take you to
the eye doctor, okay? I'll see you later.
184
00:10:14,143 --> 00:10:15,139
Bye, hon. Thanks.
185
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:16,895
- Carrie!
- What?
186
00:10:17,146 --> 00:10:18,972
I might take your father
out for ice cream too.
187
00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:20,897
Yes!
188
00:10:22,484 --> 00:10:24,026
Okay, great. Bye.
189
00:10:24,986 --> 00:10:26,148
You know what?
190
00:10:26,404 --> 00:10:29,689
Maybe we'll do dinner and I'll
take him to a show, just him and me.
191
00:10:29,906 --> 00:10:33,109
It'll inconvenience me,
but I'm gonna do it!
192
00:10:34,577 --> 00:10:36,237
Honey?
193
00:10:36,453 --> 00:10:39,407
We're gonna have some good times,
you and me.
194
00:11:55,518 --> 00:11:58,091
Two bucks. Too rich for my blood.
195
00:11:58,312 --> 00:12:00,637
I'm out too.
196
00:12:01,607 --> 00:12:02,721
Call.
197
00:12:02,941 --> 00:12:04,352
Aces up.
198
00:12:04,943 --> 00:12:06,567
Read them and weep. Trip threes.
199
00:12:06,819 --> 00:12:09,274
- Oh, man!
- Will you shut up? Arthur will hear us.
200
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,605
- Who cares?
- I care, okay?
201
00:12:11,823 --> 00:12:13,981
I haven't been able
to shake the guy all week.
202
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,284
He came with me to the dentist,
Motor Vehicle Bureau.
203
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,868
He even came up with nicknames
we're supposed to call each other.
204
00:12:22,082 --> 00:12:24,916
I'm Scooter, he's Beans.
205
00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,453
- I'm going crazy.
- Take it easy.
206
00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:29,211
You know,
you brought this on yourself.
207
00:12:29,421 --> 00:12:31,959
- You know what I'm talking about.
- I know.
208
00:12:32,173 --> 00:12:34,249
You hit the jackpot one night,
and you got greedy.
209
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:37,384
- You tried to play God.
- I know.
210
00:12:38,971 --> 00:12:40,085
Drop it, all right?
211
00:12:40,305 --> 00:12:43,140
I just wanna have one evening that
doesn't include eating a baked apple
212
00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:44,843
and watching Murder, She Wrote.
213
00:12:45,101 --> 00:12:49,394
Oh, did you see the one last night?
I was so stumped.
214
00:12:50,271 --> 00:12:52,596
- What was that?
- Someone's at the door.
215
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:55,270
That could be him.
Blow out the candles.
216
00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:57,348
Nobody move.
217
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,733
Oh, God. Oh, God.
218
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,612
I feel like Anne Frank.
219
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:10,077
- Hey, Scooter, what's going on?
- Hey, Arthur.
220
00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:13,029
Sorry.
221
00:13:13,249 --> 00:13:14,908
Hey, Beans.
222
00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:18,700
What are you playing cards
in the dark?
223
00:13:21,505 --> 00:13:23,830
All right, fellas, the game
is called Kick the Dog.
224
00:13:24,049 --> 00:13:28,841
Threes, sixes, nines, one-eyed jacks,
suicide kings are wild.
225
00:13:29,637 --> 00:13:31,760
Tell you what,
why don't you tell us what's not wild?
226
00:13:32,014 --> 00:13:34,849
That's Fondle the Mailman,
and we're playing that next.
227
00:13:38,436 --> 00:13:41,436
I got five aces,
I don't even have an ace.
228
00:13:41,689 --> 00:13:42,684
No one drop out.
229
00:13:42,898 --> 00:13:45,934
In this game, mostly everyone
winds up with five aces.
230
00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:49,771
Oh, it's almost 10. I should call mom,
tell her I'm gonna be late.
231
00:13:49,987 --> 00:13:52,442
You're gonna be very late.
You're the only one who's winning.
232
00:13:52,656 --> 00:13:53,818
You live with your mother?
233
00:13:54,157 --> 00:13:57,323
Yeah. It's a pain,
but she doesn't drive, so...
234
00:13:57,577 --> 00:14:00,660
So what if she doesn't drive?
The woman can't take a bus?
235
00:14:00,913 --> 00:14:03,035
No, no.
236
00:14:03,248 --> 00:14:06,451
Theoretically, yes,
but she's used to my car.
237
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,494
All right, let's bet.
I go a quarter. Who's in?
238
00:14:08,711 --> 00:14:10,584
- I'll call your ass.
- Yeah, up a quarter.
239
00:14:10,796 --> 00:14:13,168
Let me get this straight.
If you live with your mother-
240
00:14:13,423 --> 00:14:15,332
- Arthur, it's to you.
- I'm very curious.
241
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,459
If you live with your mother,
242
00:14:17,676 --> 00:14:20,593
what do you do when
you have a girl spend the night?
243
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:26,807
Okay, what do you do when
you have a guy spend the night?
244
00:14:29,478 --> 00:14:33,178
- It's gotta be one or the other!
- A girl! It would be a girl!
245
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:34,477
Who hasn't bet?
246
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,062
I wanna move out,
but apartments are very expensive.
247
00:14:37,318 --> 00:14:39,689
As it is, we pay 750
for a one-bedroom.
248
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:42,696
- A one-bedroom?
- I say, who hasn't bet?
249
00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:45,986
- So where do you sleep?
- Arthur.
250
00:14:47,076 --> 00:14:49,282
The living-room sofa pulls out,
that it?
251
00:14:55,457 --> 00:14:57,615
You share a bedroom
with your mother?
252
00:14:57,834 --> 00:14:59,992
Twin beds! Twin beds!
253
00:15:00,211 --> 00:15:02,334
There's an entire night table
between us!
254
00:15:02,588 --> 00:15:06,336
Easy, easy!
I was just making conversation!
255
00:15:08,802 --> 00:15:09,881
All right, who's not in?
256
00:15:10,094 --> 00:15:12,799
You know, I think I better be going.
I have something in my eye.
257
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,092
Could you cash me in?
258
00:15:14,306 --> 00:15:16,631
Cash me in, Scooter!
259
00:15:17,309 --> 00:15:19,135
Take it easy.
260
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,013
I hope his eye's okay.
261
00:15:25,899 --> 00:15:28,271
Well, this game is over.
I'm out of here.
262
00:15:28,526 --> 00:15:32,274
Yeah, me too. You know, I haven't
seen much of my wife this week.
263
00:15:35,574 --> 00:15:38,823
- Wanna go to a strip club?
- Sure.
264
00:15:39,785 --> 00:15:42,821
Okay, the game is called
Spank Your Sister.
265
00:15:44,289 --> 00:15:46,696
Oh, what is this?
266
00:15:48,626 --> 00:15:51,626
Oh, my God, a wig!
267
00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:55,122
Okay, how much do I love this?
268
00:15:55,382 --> 00:15:57,338
Isn't it great?
You can use it to spice things up.
269
00:15:57,550 --> 00:15:59,507
I used to wear one all the time
when I was a slut.
270
00:15:59,718 --> 00:16:02,505
- Yeah?
- Here, open mine.
271
00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:04,838
Oh, my God!
272
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:08,098
How much do I love this?
273
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:16,228
What's up, hon?
The poker game over already?
274
00:16:16,482 --> 00:16:19,020
- It is now. Your dad ruined it.
- What did he do?
275
00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:21,476
He got on Spence
about his personal life.
276
00:16:21,695 --> 00:16:25,063
Oh, the virgin thing?
277
00:16:25,323 --> 00:16:27,398
The living-with-his-mother thing.
278
00:16:27,658 --> 00:16:31,904
I gotta say, hon,
they're not completely separate issues.
279
00:16:32,162 --> 00:16:34,735
God! What is he doing to me?
Why can't he just leave me alone?
280
00:16:34,956 --> 00:16:36,070
What are you talking about?
281
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,662
You're the one who invited him
to be your sidekick all week,
282
00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:42,244
taking him to the movies
and the petting zoo.
283
00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:44,456
It's your fault I did that.
284
00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:48,461
Oh, my fault? How is it my fault?
285
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:52,168
Well, that first night,
when I took him out just to be nice,
286
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:53,549
you know, you were so...
287
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,430
- So?
- Appreciative.
288
00:16:59,517 --> 00:17:01,474
Appreciative?
289
00:17:02,311 --> 00:17:04,351
Appreciative.
290
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,692
So that's-? Because-?
291
00:17:12,361 --> 00:17:14,318
What are you, a rottweiler?
292
00:17:16,073 --> 00:17:18,610
- What do you want from me?
- You are so pathetic!
293
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:21,950
Not pathetic. Weak, okay?
There's a difference.
294
00:17:22,203 --> 00:17:24,491
I gotta say, hon, you might be both.
295
00:17:25,038 --> 00:17:27,825
You know what? Maybe I'm both.
I still don't deserve what's happened.
296
00:17:28,041 --> 00:17:31,290
All right, so just tell him to back off
and give you some space.
297
00:17:31,544 --> 00:17:35,837
I can't. He likes me so much now,
it would just kill him.
298
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,832
You tell him.
299
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,750
Me? Why should I kill him?
300
00:17:40,009 --> 00:17:43,757
You're his daughter.
He's used to you causing him pain.
301
00:17:47,223 --> 00:17:50,923
Okay, I will talk to him with you.
You understand? I am there to help.
302
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:52,976
- Oh, I owe you.
- Don't worry about it.
303
00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:55,938
Oh, no, really, thank you.
You know what?
304
00:17:56,147 --> 00:18:01,852
Maybe later on I'll take you upstairs
and I'll appreciate you.
305
00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:06,989
You know what, hon?
We're gonna have to talk about that.
306
00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:19,572
- Dad, can we talk to you for a minute?
- Sure, sure, come on down.
307
00:18:21,043 --> 00:18:23,711
Nobody squeals like Ned Beatty.
308
00:18:25,046 --> 00:18:28,461
Scoots, I'm glad you're here.
I got three words for you:
309
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,209
Working dude ranch.
310
00:18:31,301 --> 00:18:34,136
Get back to me with some dates.
I cleared out August.
311
00:18:35,054 --> 00:18:36,513
Right.
312
00:18:36,722 --> 00:18:40,849
Actually, Dad, that's kind of what
we wanted to talk to you about.
313
00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:42,180
What? What do you mean?
314
00:18:42,435 --> 00:18:44,760
Well, you've been spending
a lot of time with Doug lately.
315
00:18:44,979 --> 00:18:48,312
Great time, by the way. Lot of fun.
316
00:18:51,192 --> 00:18:52,852
And we were thinking, you know,
317
00:18:53,069 --> 00:18:56,402
maybe you could do
some other things with your time.
318
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:57,983
- Like what?
- I don't know.
319
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,904
Things that don't involve Doug.
320
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,650
What? What is this about?
Doug, what does she mean?
321
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:09,361
I'm not quite sure.
Where you headed with this, honey?
322
00:19:11,959 --> 00:19:13,418
Listen to me, Dad.
323
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:16,041
Doug doesn't want you to spend
so much time with him.
324
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:17,832
Do you understand?
325
00:19:18,089 --> 00:19:19,287
Oh, I know what this is.
326
00:19:19,507 --> 00:19:21,630
You're trying to drive
a wedge between us.
327
00:19:21,842 --> 00:19:23,751
You're threatened
by Doug's love for me!
328
00:19:26,221 --> 00:19:28,546
Nope, nope. Not really.
329
00:19:28,806 --> 00:19:30,964
Then I don't get it.
330
00:19:31,183 --> 00:19:32,725
You're the one who courted me.
331
00:19:34,478 --> 00:19:36,351
He's the one who courted me.
332
00:19:36,563 --> 00:19:39,848
Why did you invite me everywhere
if you didn't want me around?
333
00:19:40,107 --> 00:19:43,939
- Tell the man, Doug.
- Yeah, tell me.
334
00:19:44,152 --> 00:19:45,979
Why?
335
00:19:49,782 --> 00:19:52,866
All right, the game
is San Diego Scooby-Doo.
336
00:19:53,118 --> 00:19:58,324
Three decks, we use all the jokers
and instruction cards.
337
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,326
So, Richie,
338
00:20:01,542 --> 00:20:04,079
Scooter says you're not
the brightest bulb on the tree.
339
00:20:12,217 --> 00:20:14,090
I would have gotten
my own place a long time ago
340
00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:18,050
but what with Dad gone,
and Mom unable to drive,
341
00:20:19,139 --> 00:20:24,477
I pretty much have to live with her.
I mean, what's the alternative, right?
342
00:20:27,563 --> 00:20:28,891
Well, you could get your own place
343
00:20:29,106 --> 00:20:31,431
and she could use taxis
and public transportation?
344
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,982
I'm gonna go inside now.
27278
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