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1
00:00:02,376 --> 00:00:03,709
Kids, it was two days
2
00:00:03,711 --> 00:00:05,327
before Barneyand Robin's wedding,
3
00:00:05,329 --> 00:00:07,779
and everything was going offwithout a hitch.
4
00:00:07,781 --> 00:00:08,980
Ah.
5
00:00:08,982 --> 00:00:10,432
Been waiting for the
perfect time for this,
6
00:00:10,434 --> 00:00:12,000
and, my friend,
that time is...
7
00:00:12,002 --> 00:00:14,452
I saw you and Robin
at the carousel.
8
00:00:14,454 --> 00:00:17,672
Okay, there wasone slight hitch.
9
00:00:17,674 --> 00:00:20,058
She called me to help her,
10
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:21,443
and there you were
11
00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:22,644
in the rain
12
00:00:22,646 --> 00:00:24,579
holding hands with my fiancée.
13
00:00:28,518 --> 00:00:29,735
What up?
14
00:00:29,737 --> 00:00:31,302
Nothing up.
15
00:00:31,304 --> 00:00:32,270
Everything down.
16
00:00:32,272 --> 00:00:34,439
All parts of me down.
17
00:00:34,441 --> 00:00:35,473
Look,
18
00:00:35,475 --> 00:00:37,859
you were busy,
so I-I...
19
00:00:37,861 --> 00:00:39,027
I went to the park
to help her look
20
00:00:39,029 --> 00:00:40,445
for this locket
she buried years ago.
21
00:00:40,447 --> 00:00:42,147
She couldn't find it,
she got upset,
22
00:00:42,149 --> 00:00:44,249
I held her hand. End of story.
23
00:00:47,203 --> 00:00:49,121
Cool! I just wanted
to air that out.
24
00:00:49,123 --> 00:00:50,705
You know, bro to bro.
25
00:00:50,707 --> 00:00:52,507
You're my best friend
and my best man.
26
00:00:52,509 --> 00:00:53,725
Of course I trust you.
27
00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:55,093
Oh, come on.
28
00:00:55,095 --> 00:00:57,262
You don't have to cry about it.
29
00:00:57,264 --> 00:00:59,931
It's not that.
30
00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:03,301
That was a $600 bottle
of scotch.
31
00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:06,104
Oh, my God.
32
00:01:08,192 --> 00:01:12,144
I hope Marshall gets here
for the rehearsal dinner.
33
00:01:12,146 --> 00:01:13,361
Thank you, Linus.
34
00:01:13,363 --> 00:01:16,481
He's somewhere in Wisconsin
in a rental car.
35
00:01:16,483 --> 00:01:18,116
Hertz?
I mean, it hurts a little
36
00:01:18,118 --> 00:01:20,402
but I'm not gonna
cry about it. Hey!
37
00:01:20,404 --> 00:01:22,537
We've been doing that
all afternoon.
38
00:01:22,539 --> 00:01:23,872
Oh, who's that for?
39
00:01:23,874 --> 00:01:25,457
Marshpillow.
40
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:28,193
Kids, as you may recall,whenever Marshall left town
41
00:01:28,195 --> 00:01:29,327
for a few days,
42
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:31,446
Lily would compensatewith a body pillow
43
00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:33,965
she dressed upand named Marshpillow.
44
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,567
Pretty normal stuff.
45
00:01:35,569 --> 00:01:37,886
But with Marshall stuck drivingacross the country,
46
00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:39,921
Lily decided to upgrade.
47
00:01:39,923 --> 00:01:43,308
Meet Marshpillow 2.0!
48
00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:44,810
Hey!
49
00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,678
Am I on?
50
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,713
Hey, guys!
51
00:01:48,715 --> 00:01:49,998
Hey, Marsh.
Hey, Marshall. Hey.
52
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:50,765
It's like you're
really here.
53
00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,067
Hey, Ted.
54
00:01:52,069 --> 00:01:55,270
Can you give me a
gander of the environs?
55
00:01:56,556 --> 00:01:58,273
Wow!
56
00:01:58,275 --> 00:02:02,394
This place
looks beautif...
57
00:02:03,729 --> 00:02:05,130
Wait for it.
58
00:02:05,132 --> 00:02:07,415
He's frozen.
59
00:02:07,417 --> 00:02:10,502
Same thing happened last night
at the worst possible time.
60
00:02:10,504 --> 00:02:14,673
I had just gotten on all fours
and taken off my panti...
61
00:02:19,111 --> 00:02:20,795
Now Lily's frozen.
62
00:02:22,131 --> 00:02:26,131
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x04 ♪
The Broken Code
Original Air Date on October 7, 2013
63
00:02:26,156 --> 00:02:31,156
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
64
00:02:36,479 --> 00:02:38,429
...ful.
65
00:02:38,431 --> 00:02:40,899
This place
is beautiful!
66
00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:43,235
Wow. Lily, it looks
like you really put
67
00:02:43,237 --> 00:02:45,070
some time
into this, huh?
68
00:02:45,906 --> 00:02:47,405
Though I wonder if
69
00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:48,773
instead of dressing up
70
00:02:48,775 --> 00:02:52,043
your giant husband doll
like Malibu Ken,
71
00:02:52,045 --> 00:02:53,545
you could've spent
a minute or two--
72
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,013
I don't know--
73
00:02:55,015 --> 00:02:57,716
planning the weak ass
bachelorette party you threw me?
74
00:03:02,922 --> 00:03:07,375
I-It's possible I forgot
to send out the Evite.
75
00:03:08,344 --> 00:03:09,477
Robin!
76
00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:11,813
Happy bachelorette party!
77
00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:15,183
You invited Patrice
to my bachelorette party?!
78
00:03:15,185 --> 00:03:17,135
No.
79
00:03:17,137 --> 00:03:18,403
You know, it's funny.
80
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:21,122
When I was planning
Barney's bachelor party,
81
00:03:21,124 --> 00:03:25,277
I managed to wranglehis boyhood hero, Billy Zabka,
82
00:03:25,279 --> 00:03:26,945
from The Karate Kid.
83
00:03:26,947 --> 00:03:28,863
But you scored Patrice.
84
00:03:28,865 --> 00:03:30,332
I'm sorry, Robin.
85
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:34,452
I-I've just been so consumed
with our move to Rome.
86
00:03:34,454 --> 00:03:36,221
I guess I forgot
to invite
87
00:03:36,223 --> 00:03:37,505
the girls.
88
00:03:37,507 --> 00:03:39,341
Yeah, Lily, I'd like
to show you how it's done.
89
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:42,427
Billy Zabka, what
a great guy.
90
00:03:42,429 --> 00:03:45,313
Look at how thorough Ted was
planning the best man poker game
91
00:03:45,315 --> 00:03:46,848
he's throwing for Barney.
92
00:03:46,850 --> 00:03:49,851
Wait, I think I'm on some sort
of delay here.
93
00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:53,138
Best man visor
for the dealer.
94
00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:55,473
Customized playing cards.
95
00:03:55,475 --> 00:03:57,192
Barney's the king.
96
00:03:57,194 --> 00:03:58,610
And...
97
00:03:58,612 --> 00:03:59,761
the queens
98
00:03:59,763 --> 00:04:01,680
are naked.
99
00:04:01,682 --> 00:04:03,465
It was my first decree.
100
00:04:03,467 --> 00:04:06,685
Hmm. Plus, Ted handwrote
all of the table cards
101
00:04:06,687 --> 00:04:08,637
for the reception
in calligraphy.
102
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,655
The man's a wizard
with a pen.
103
00:04:10,657 --> 00:04:12,924
Oh. I don't know
about all that.
104
00:04:12,926 --> 00:04:13,959
Though I was approached
105
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:16,127
by the decorating committee
to make the...
106
00:04:16,129 --> 00:04:18,313
signs for our senior prom.
107
00:04:18,315 --> 00:04:21,816
I'm told they were
quite the hit.
108
00:04:21,818 --> 00:04:25,170
Hey, buddy, listen,
109
00:04:25,172 --> 00:04:29,124
you're gonna kill me, but I
forgot to bring the table cards.
110
00:04:29,126 --> 00:04:31,509
Uh, I'd hate to ask
you to redo them...
111
00:04:31,511 --> 00:04:33,895
Say no more.
The best man is on it.
112
00:04:33,897 --> 00:04:36,598
Thanks, Ted.
113
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,700
S-So now the best man
114
00:04:38,702 --> 00:04:42,404
is painstakingly handwriting
200 table cards,
115
00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,856
but my maid of
honor forgot
116
00:04:44,858 --> 00:04:47,926
to click "send"
on an Evite.
117
00:04:47,928 --> 00:04:49,661
I didn't forget
to invite the girls
118
00:04:49,663 --> 00:04:50,996
to your bachelorette party.
119
00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:52,864
You have no girls!
120
00:04:52,866 --> 00:04:54,082
What?
121
00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:56,635
What?
122
00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:58,703
What?
123
00:04:58,705 --> 00:05:01,289
What? I...
All my girls.
124
00:05:01,974 --> 00:05:03,375
I gave you a list.
125
00:05:03,377 --> 00:05:04,592
This list?
126
00:05:04,594 --> 00:05:05,543
Yeah.
127
00:05:05,545 --> 00:05:07,245
"Tall girl from work,
128
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:10,048
"mouth-breather
from coffee shop,
129
00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:11,383
"average-sized
130
00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:13,385
girl from that place"?
131
00:05:13,387 --> 00:05:15,637
Ooh. Sorry I didn't
track her down.
132
00:05:15,639 --> 00:05:17,038
She sounds great!
133
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,024
She's actually
kind of a bitch.
134
00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:20,308
Face it, Robin.
135
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:22,277
You hate women, and...
136
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,279
women hate you.
137
00:05:25,948 --> 00:05:27,532
Ted didn't go to his prom?
138
00:05:27,534 --> 00:05:30,051
Classic.
139
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,537
While Lily was dropping theball as Robin's maid of honor,
140
00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:35,824
the best man was busyknocking it out of the park.
141
00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:39,277
Hey, buddy, listen,
142
00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,746
my great-aunt Ida has corns
on her feet
143
00:05:41,748 --> 00:05:43,498
and needs a first-floor room.
144
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,333
Uh, would you mind
switching rooms?
145
00:05:45,335 --> 00:05:47,469
Say no more.
The best man is on it.
146
00:05:47,471 --> 00:05:48,553
Thanks, Ted.
147
00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:04,736
Hey, buddy, listen,
148
00:06:04,738 --> 00:06:06,521
the wedding doves
got here early,
149
00:06:06,523 --> 00:06:08,339
and I don't know
where to put 'em...
150
00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:10,859
Say no more.
The best man is on it!
151
00:06:10,861 --> 00:06:12,360
Thanks, Ted.
152
00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:14,746
Poor guys.
153
00:06:14,748 --> 00:06:17,365
All cooped up.
154
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:22,036
I guess there's no harm in
letting you out for a bit, huh?
155
00:06:22,038 --> 00:06:24,439
They carpet-bombed
my entire room.
156
00:06:24,441 --> 00:06:25,740
Wish I'd closed
157
00:06:25,742 --> 00:06:28,426
my suitcase.
158
00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:31,179
And my mouth.
159
00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:33,831
Hey, buddy, listen,
160
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:37,519
I see you wrote "N-O-period"
instead of the number sign.
161
00:06:37,521 --> 00:06:38,721
I'm worried that might
confuse the guests...
162
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:39,605
Say no more.
163
00:06:39,606 --> 00:06:41,306
The best man is on it.
164
00:06:41,308 --> 00:06:42,724
Thanks, Ted.
165
00:06:42,726 --> 00:06:44,509
Here they are.
166
00:06:44,511 --> 00:06:47,678
Freshly penned table cards
in a pretty decent chancery
167
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,515
considering I only
had my travel quills.
168
00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:53,201
Wait. Why's the
poker game started?
169
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:56,020
Oh, um, the best man
moved the time.
170
00:06:56,022 --> 00:06:57,422
Mm, no, he didn't.
171
00:06:57,424 --> 00:06:58,790
Yes, he did.
172
00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,225
Heya, Ted.
173
00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:02,710
Thanks for the sweet lid, bro.
174
00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:07,516
Billy Zabka's
your new best man?
175
00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:11,152
He's the best... around.
176
00:07:11,154 --> 00:07:13,002
Sorry, Ted.
Maybe next wedding.
177
00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:13,531
What...
178
00:07:13,556 --> 00:07:15,823
So you're playing the best man
poker game without me?
179
00:07:15,825 --> 00:07:17,675
Tim Gunn's here and I'm not?
180
00:07:17,677 --> 00:07:20,445
I'm Barney's personal tailor,
of course I'm here.
181
00:07:20,447 --> 00:07:22,580
Plus, I've never
played poker before.
182
00:07:22,582 --> 00:07:24,832
It looks like a hoot.
183
00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,217
I moved into a dungeon.
184
00:07:26,219 --> 00:07:27,969
I wrote hundreds of cards.
185
00:07:27,971 --> 00:07:30,555
I even gave your batty
great-aunt Ida a foot massage
186
00:07:30,557 --> 00:07:33,541
so vigorous it put her to
sleep right there in the lobby.
187
00:07:33,543 --> 00:07:36,094
Yeah, I don't really have
a great-aunt Ida.
188
00:07:41,049 --> 00:07:43,884
So you are mad about me
and Robin holding hands.
189
00:07:43,886 --> 00:07:45,236
Of course I'm mad, Ted.
190
00:07:45,238 --> 00:07:46,321
Holding hands is, like,
191
00:07:46,323 --> 00:07:47,939
the fourth-grade equivalent
of banging.
192
00:07:47,941 --> 00:07:49,240
Well, in your case, 12th grade.
193
00:07:49,242 --> 00:07:50,291
Self-five.
194
00:07:50,293 --> 00:07:53,060
You broke the Bro Code.
195
00:07:53,062 --> 00:07:55,697
No, I did not. I only went
to help Robin as a friend
196
00:07:55,699 --> 00:07:56,998
because you didn't show up.
197
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,649
I did not break the Bro Code.
198
00:07:58,651 --> 00:07:59,701
It's in the text.
199
00:07:59,703 --> 00:08:02,120
A bro shall not have
a weird moment
200
00:08:02,122 --> 00:08:04,672
with another bro's fiancée.
Well,
201
00:08:04,674 --> 00:08:07,458
too bad we're in Farhampton
and can't actually check.
202
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:09,794
I am pleased to announce
that the Bro Code has replaced
203
00:08:09,796 --> 00:08:12,630
the Gideons Bible at select
hotels throughout the country.
204
00:08:12,632 --> 00:08:15,350
Oh.
205
00:08:15,352 --> 00:08:17,585
I'm sorry I said
you hate women.
206
00:08:17,587 --> 00:08:18,886
Yeah, don't be.
207
00:08:18,888 --> 00:08:20,722
For whatever reason,
I just...
208
00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:22,890
I can't seem to connect
with them. Down!
209
00:08:22,892 --> 00:08:24,742
Can you help me?
I've got
210
00:08:24,744 --> 00:08:26,227
a bunch more wedding gifts
in the van.
211
00:08:26,229 --> 00:08:29,964
Yay! I love Robin so much!
212
00:08:29,966 --> 00:08:32,033
Oh, God, I'm gonna strangle
that bitch.
213
00:08:32,035 --> 00:08:35,319
Robin, what is it
with you and women?
214
00:08:35,321 --> 00:08:37,422
They're so annoying.
215
00:08:37,424 --> 00:08:39,991
I'm glad that you're
my only female friend.
216
00:08:39,993 --> 00:08:41,959
Girls are always
whining and crying
217
00:08:41,961 --> 00:08:43,944
over every little thing.
218
00:08:45,114 --> 00:08:47,465
Yes. That's exactly...
219
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:51,002
Thank you. "Oh, oh, boo-hoo.
220
00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:52,637
"Look at me.
I'm a sensitive
221
00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:54,555
little girl..."
Oh. God, I'm sorry.
222
00:08:54,557 --> 00:08:55,973
You're actually crying.
223
00:08:55,975 --> 00:08:56,891
It's just
224
00:08:56,893 --> 00:08:58,760
so sad.
225
00:08:58,762 --> 00:09:01,846
I can't be your only girlfriend.
Well, I...
226
00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:04,232
I don't need anybody else.
I got... I got you.
227
00:09:04,234 --> 00:09:08,152
For another six days and then
I'm off to Rome for a year.
228
00:09:08,154 --> 00:09:11,856
What are you gonna do without
our Saturday morning brunch
229
00:09:11,858 --> 00:09:14,409
with a side of sassy gossip?
230
00:09:15,277 --> 00:09:16,894
A one-shot power play?!
231
00:09:16,896 --> 00:09:19,030
Hey! Hey, Boston!
232
00:09:19,032 --> 00:09:20,331
Why not drop your hockey pants
233
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:23,317
and actually take a dump
on the ice next time?!
234
00:09:23,319 --> 00:09:26,988
I love it!
235
00:09:28,324 --> 00:09:31,843
See? It is just too horrible
to even think about.
236
00:09:31,845 --> 00:09:32,960
Yeah.
You...
237
00:09:32,962 --> 00:09:35,213
need another female friend.
238
00:09:35,215 --> 00:09:36,964
Whenever I try to talk to women,
239
00:09:36,966 --> 00:09:38,824
they look like they want
to punch me.
240
00:09:38,849 --> 00:09:39,751
Well,
241
00:09:39,752 --> 00:09:42,720
maybe you're accidentally
giving off the wrong vibe.
242
00:09:42,722 --> 00:09:46,023
Like, what do you say
to other women at the gym?
243
00:09:46,025 --> 00:09:47,725
Oh, well, I haven't been
to the gym in forever.
244
00:09:47,727 --> 00:09:49,811
My metabolism is all messed up.
245
00:09:49,813 --> 00:09:52,196
See, I can moose down a pint
of fudge ripple
246
00:09:52,198 --> 00:09:55,900
for a midnight snack
and wake up having lost weight.
247
00:09:55,902 --> 00:09:57,068
Well, everywhere
248
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,786
except for my boobs.
249
00:09:59,538 --> 00:10:00,872
So annoying.
250
00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:05,743
You're gonna need a lot of work.
251
00:10:05,745 --> 00:10:07,829
It's in here.
Somewhere.
252
00:10:07,831 --> 00:10:09,780
I... It has to be.
253
00:10:09,782 --> 00:10:11,866
Damn it, I know I should've done
these in alphabrotical order.
254
00:10:12,836 --> 00:10:14,502
Who cares about the Bro Code?
255
00:10:14,504 --> 00:10:16,471
It's just some stupid book
you made up.
256
00:10:16,473 --> 00:10:19,173
How dare you?
257
00:10:19,175 --> 00:10:22,510
The Bro Code has been around
for centuries.
258
00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:24,145
Nay...
259
00:10:24,147 --> 00:10:26,731
whatever's more
than centuries.
260
00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:28,015
Please don't launch
into a fake history lesson.
261
00:10:28,017 --> 00:10:31,769
The Bro Code can trace
its lineage all the way back
262
00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:33,988
to Broses himself.
263
00:10:33,990 --> 00:10:37,024
Article one:
264
00:10:37,026 --> 00:10:39,944
bros before ho's.
265
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:41,412
Okay.
266
00:10:41,414 --> 00:10:43,281
I see what you're doing.
You can't prove that
267
00:10:43,283 --> 00:10:45,099
I broke the Bro Code, so you're
just making up stories about...
268
00:10:45,101 --> 00:10:47,618
This sacred text
was eventually brought
269
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:51,272
to the New World
in 1776 by none other
270
00:10:51,274 --> 00:10:53,474
than Christopher Brolumbus.
271
00:10:53,476 --> 00:10:55,793
Article 62:
272
00:10:55,795 --> 00:10:59,931
a bro
who calls dibs first has dibs.
273
00:10:59,933 --> 00:11:02,650
Oh? Dibs!
274
00:11:02,652 --> 00:11:05,753
And that's why he got
to bang Pocahontas.
275
00:11:05,755 --> 00:11:07,248
Pocahontas was
with John Smith.
276
00:11:07,273 --> 00:11:08,173
Maybe
277
00:11:08,174 --> 00:11:09,524
according to the hotel register.
278
00:11:09,526 --> 00:11:10,942
Whatever Mrs. Brolumbus
didn't know
279
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:12,310
couldn't hurt her, am I right?
280
00:11:12,312 --> 00:11:14,111
Well, except maybe
that New World syphilis.
281
00:11:14,113 --> 00:11:15,279
But I digress.
282
00:11:15,281 --> 00:11:18,149
Barney, if you believe
in the Bro Code,
283
00:11:18,151 --> 00:11:19,867
how come you've broken it
so many times?
284
00:11:21,037 --> 00:11:22,119
How dare you!
285
00:11:22,121 --> 00:11:24,488
I have never broken
the Bro Code!
286
00:11:24,490 --> 00:11:26,941
Hmm? Hmm? Ah.
287
00:11:26,943 --> 00:11:28,659
"Article 104:
288
00:11:28,661 --> 00:11:32,480
the mom of a bro
is always off limits."
289
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:35,633
Okay, look,
we've all had a lot of fun
290
00:11:35,635 --> 00:11:37,702
joking about me
banging your mom.
291
00:11:37,704 --> 00:11:39,086
Not all of us. Continue.
292
00:11:39,088 --> 00:11:42,723
But I swear nothing ever
happened between the two of us.
293
00:11:42,725 --> 00:11:44,508
Trust me.
294
00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:47,127
And what's going on
with your fingers?
295
00:11:48,931 --> 00:11:51,182
That's how our bodies
were intertwined.
296
00:11:51,184 --> 00:11:53,084
All right, this
is ridiculous!
297
00:11:53,086 --> 00:11:54,685
It's ridiculous
that you won't admit
298
00:11:54,687 --> 00:11:56,404
holding Robin's hand was weird.
299
00:11:56,406 --> 00:11:57,572
It wasn't weird!
300
00:11:57,574 --> 00:11:59,073
Yes, it was.
301
00:12:00,192 --> 00:12:01,776
You know what?
302
00:12:01,778 --> 00:12:06,280
We need a third
impartial bro to settle this.
303
00:12:06,282 --> 00:12:07,765
To resolve this,
304
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:09,517
I really need to parse
305
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:10,768
the text of the Bro Code.
306
00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:11,919
It's too bad
307
00:12:11,921 --> 00:12:13,070
Marshall doesn't have a copy.
308
00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,239
Actually, I do.
309
00:12:15,241 --> 00:12:17,925
They were in the, uh,
seat back pockets on my flight
310
00:12:17,927 --> 00:12:19,460
in place of the safety cards.
311
00:12:19,462 --> 00:12:21,896
I'm also pleased to announce
The Bro Code is now available
312
00:12:21,898 --> 00:12:23,598
in select airlines
across the country.
313
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,049
And Lufthansa.
314
00:12:25,051 --> 00:12:28,552
Der Bro Code is,
like, huge in Germany.
315
00:12:28,554 --> 00:12:30,471
Okay, so prove to me
316
00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:32,840
you can make a female friend.
317
00:12:32,842 --> 00:12:34,675
What about her?
318
00:12:34,677 --> 00:12:37,111
Ugh! The girl
with the bangs?
319
00:12:37,113 --> 00:12:39,513
Any chick who does that
to her hair
320
00:12:39,515 --> 00:12:41,399
is going through
a big life transition
321
00:12:41,401 --> 00:12:43,067
I don't want to hear about.
322
00:12:43,069 --> 00:12:45,987
Next time, grow your bangs
long enough to cover your mouth.
323
00:12:45,989 --> 00:12:47,121
Ha-pass.
324
00:12:47,123 --> 00:12:48,606
Okay, well...
325
00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:50,241
what about her?
326
00:12:50,243 --> 00:12:52,393
Ugh! Comfortable shoes?
327
00:12:53,496 --> 00:12:55,579
What, are you filibustering
later?
328
00:12:55,581 --> 00:12:57,465
It's after 5:00.
Put on some heels.
329
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,466
Ha-pass.
330
00:12:58,468 --> 00:13:01,552
Okay, well, what about...?
Ugh!
331
00:13:01,554 --> 00:13:03,721
I haven't even pointed
to anyone yet!
332
00:13:03,723 --> 00:13:05,473
Now,
333
00:13:05,475 --> 00:13:09,110
although not expressly stated
in the Bro Code,
334
00:13:09,112 --> 00:13:11,228
a weird moment between
335
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:13,898
a bro and his bro's fiancée is,
336
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:17,151
in my bropinion... a violation.
337
00:13:17,153 --> 00:13:18,736
No!
Yes! However,
338
00:13:18,738 --> 00:13:21,055
Ted was helping Robin
as a friend.
339
00:13:21,057 --> 00:13:22,189
Therefore,
340
00:13:22,191 --> 00:13:23,290
holding her hand
341
00:13:23,292 --> 00:13:25,943
isn't necessarily
a weird moment.
342
00:13:25,945 --> 00:13:27,561
No!
Yes!
343
00:13:27,563 --> 00:13:28,579
That being said...
344
00:13:28,581 --> 00:13:29,864
What?
345
00:13:29,866 --> 00:13:31,065
...if we decide
346
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:33,617
that holding any friend's hand
is weird,
347
00:13:33,619 --> 00:13:36,604
then, yes,
Ted did break the Bro Code.
348
00:13:36,606 --> 00:13:37,805
So, the question
is this.
349
00:13:37,807 --> 00:13:39,557
If Ted had gone to the park
350
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,542
and held Barney's hand,
351
00:13:41,544 --> 00:13:43,778
would it have been weird?
352
00:13:44,579 --> 00:13:47,014
No?
Yes?
353
00:13:51,286 --> 00:13:53,304
See?
354
00:13:55,024 --> 00:13:58,059
It's not weird at all.
355
00:13:59,511 --> 00:14:00,444
I don't know what to say.
356
00:14:00,446 --> 00:14:01,612
Just be yourself.
357
00:14:01,614 --> 00:14:02,897
Say something nice.
358
00:14:02,899 --> 00:14:04,782
Which one? I can't do both.
359
00:14:09,104 --> 00:14:11,105
Slut alert.
360
00:14:11,107 --> 00:14:12,873
That's my 14-year-old daughter.
361
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,027
Crappy mom alert.
362
00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:18,162
Ugh!
363
00:14:18,164 --> 00:14:19,814
It's you. Nice bangs.
364
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,801
What is wrong with you?!
365
00:14:23,803 --> 00:14:25,986
I can't do this, okay?
366
00:14:25,988 --> 00:14:27,421
I was raised as a boy.
367
00:14:27,423 --> 00:14:28,923
I don't get along with women.
368
00:14:28,925 --> 00:14:30,725
Can we just drop it?
369
00:14:30,727 --> 00:14:33,060
Okay, I never thought
I'd take a page
370
00:14:33,062 --> 00:14:35,796
out of your fiancé's
playbook, but...
371
00:14:35,798 --> 00:14:39,767
it's time to target
the crying chick.
372
00:14:41,353 --> 00:14:44,321
Not weird at all.
373
00:14:44,323 --> 00:14:46,023
Marshall,
374
00:14:46,025 --> 00:14:47,608
why are we
doing this?!
375
00:14:47,610 --> 00:14:50,194
Two dudes on a beach
with a lifeless blob
376
00:14:50,196 --> 00:14:51,812
they're pretending
is alive?
377
00:14:51,814 --> 00:14:53,030
It's stupid.
378
00:14:53,032 --> 00:14:54,198
So, I guess that means
379
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,500
Weekend at Bernie's
is stupid, too.
380
00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:58,452
E-Lawyered.
381
00:14:58,454 --> 00:15:00,287
Now, before
382
00:15:00,289 --> 00:15:01,505
I can render a decision,
383
00:15:01,507 --> 00:15:03,157
we need to recreate
the variables
384
00:15:03,159 --> 00:15:05,376
at the carousel
as closely as possible.
385
00:15:05,378 --> 00:15:08,629
Since Ted says
that he was comforting Robin,
386
00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:09,830
he needs to do
387
00:15:09,832 --> 00:15:13,918
the same for Barney,
so, Ted, comfort Barney.
388
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,686
I don't see how that...
389
00:15:15,688 --> 00:15:17,638
Comfort... Barney.
390
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:23,110
Barney, what is
going on with you?
391
00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:25,513
Why are you
so upset with me?
392
00:15:25,515 --> 00:15:28,282
Marshall, this is stupid!
I don't...
393
00:15:28,284 --> 00:15:29,984
Accept the comfort.
394
00:15:29,986 --> 00:15:32,403
Fine!
395
00:15:33,656 --> 00:15:36,740
I guess... I'm not
really mad at you.
396
00:15:36,742 --> 00:15:38,909
I'm mad at myself.
I should have met Robin
397
00:15:38,911 --> 00:15:40,828
at the carousel when she called,
398
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:44,031
but I was having such a good
time greasing 12-year-olds.
399
00:15:44,033 --> 00:15:44,999
Laser tag.
400
00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:47,218
Helpful. Continue.
401
00:15:48,553 --> 00:15:51,705
Look, Ted, I'm sorry that
I've been taking it out on you.
402
00:15:51,707 --> 00:15:54,191
You were just being
a good friend to Robin.
403
00:15:54,193 --> 00:15:56,510
It's okay.
404
00:15:56,512 --> 00:15:58,929
It would be different if
you still had feelings for her,
405
00:15:58,931 --> 00:16:01,065
but you don't, right?
406
00:16:02,684 --> 00:16:05,269
Right?
407
00:16:11,392 --> 00:16:12,927
Okay, now it's weird.
408
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:19,019
You still have
feelings for Robin?!
409
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:22,406
What?! What?! What?! What?!
410
00:16:22,408 --> 00:16:24,041
Okay, yes, sometimes I do.
411
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:25,476
Well, then, turn 'em off!
412
00:16:25,478 --> 00:16:27,511
I would love to,
but it doesn't work that way!
413
00:16:27,513 --> 00:16:30,481
I'm a... I'm a human being.
I-I-I don't have an off switch.
414
00:16:30,483 --> 00:16:32,650
I'm shutting off.
415
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,370
There, there.
416
00:16:36,372 --> 00:16:38,372
Sister?
417
00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:41,492
Who needs a lady hug?
418
00:16:41,494 --> 00:16:43,544
Ugh! What the hell
are you doing?!
419
00:16:43,546 --> 00:16:46,063
Wait. Did you just
"ugh" my hug?
420
00:16:46,065 --> 00:16:47,164
I don't need a hug.
421
00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:48,248
I'm pissed off because
422
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,884
the Rangers just lost
to the Boston Bruins.
423
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:53,203
I hate the Boston Bruins!
424
00:16:57,158 --> 00:16:58,842
Look, Barney,
I hate these feelings.
425
00:16:58,844 --> 00:17:00,811
I hate myself
for having these feelings.
426
00:17:00,813 --> 00:17:03,597
No one wishes they would go away
more than I do,
427
00:17:03,599 --> 00:17:06,934
but I just... I... I can't seem
to make that happen. I've tried.
428
00:17:06,936 --> 00:17:08,385
Well, then, try harder!
429
00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:10,404
I'm marrying her
in less than two days!
430
00:17:10,406 --> 00:17:13,023
What the hell are we gonna do
about this?!
431
00:17:14,892 --> 00:17:18,195
As she watched Robin makea new friend, Lily was happy...
432
00:17:18,197 --> 00:17:21,365
for two seconds.
433
00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:23,167
Oh, no!
Oh, come on, ref!
434
00:17:23,169 --> 00:17:25,085
I haven't seen that much
hooking go unpunished
435
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,837
since my last
trip to Vegas.
436
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,707
And I was on that trip,
because we are best friends now.
437
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:32,710
Hey,
438
00:17:32,712 --> 00:17:34,895
this might sound
a little nutty, but
439
00:17:34,897 --> 00:17:37,247
how about
we inject a sexual edge
440
00:17:37,249 --> 00:17:38,632
into our abiding friendship
that...
441
00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:42,269
...in no way jeopardizes
our emotional connection,
442
00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:44,188
or respective marriages?!
443
00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:46,440
Aw!
444
00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:47,424
Hell, no!
445
00:17:47,426 --> 00:17:49,476
Excuse me.
446
00:17:49,478 --> 00:17:52,446
I've got a Boston Brewin',
if you know what I mean.
447
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,367
You listen, and you listen good.
448
00:17:56,369 --> 00:17:58,285
If I see your face
around Robin again,
449
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,204
you will be crying
about a lot more
450
00:18:00,206 --> 00:18:02,206
than your precious
New York Rogers.
451
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:03,957
Rangers?
I will cut you!
452
00:18:09,347 --> 00:18:11,382
Forgot my purse.
453
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,968
You know what?
454
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,920
That's why I only need you.
455
00:18:16,922 --> 00:18:18,806
'Cause you're a psycho.
456
00:18:18,808 --> 00:18:20,741
My psycho.
457
00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:23,594
I am, aren't I?
Mm-hmm.
458
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,082
There's the blushing bride!
459
00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:30,150
Back off, Patrice!
460
00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:35,972
Look, Barney, the truth is,
it was weird at the carousel.
461
00:18:35,974 --> 00:18:37,324
On some level,
it's probably been weird
462
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:39,326
between me and Robin
ever since we broke up.
463
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:40,411
But you're my brother.
464
00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:41,578
I would never do anything
465
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,946
to hurt you, ever.
466
00:18:42,948 --> 00:18:44,665
I mean it, I swear!
467
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:46,983
I'll-I'll even swear it
on the Bro Code.
468
00:18:46,985 --> 00:18:48,085
The Bro Code's stupid.
469
00:18:48,087 --> 00:18:49,986
How dare you!
470
00:18:51,539 --> 00:18:52,756
I'd be honored.
471
00:18:57,712 --> 00:19:01,215
I can't promise that I'll ever
get to a place where it won't be
472
00:19:01,217 --> 00:19:03,550
at least a little weird
between me and Robin.
473
00:19:03,552 --> 00:19:07,271
But I don't want to lose you
as a friend, either of you.
474
00:19:08,289 --> 00:19:10,307
So I will do everything I can
475
00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:12,976
to move on and live with it.
476
00:19:12,978 --> 00:19:17,347
The question is... can you?
477
00:19:21,871 --> 00:19:25,205
I'm sorry, Ted.
I just... can't do this.
478
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,858
I fold.
479
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:31,378
What about the best man?
480
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,467
I fold, too.
481
00:19:36,469 --> 00:19:38,252
I fold.
482
00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:39,536
There goes my belly buster.
483
00:19:39,538 --> 00:19:40,888
You sandbag all night,
484
00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:43,373
only to bluff a couple
of rags, pre-flop,
485
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:45,092
and wind up
with a dry board.
486
00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:46,326
That's what you get
487
00:19:46,328 --> 00:19:49,730
for limping in shorts-tacked
with a pack of donkeys.
488
00:19:49,732 --> 00:19:51,849
Muck city.
489
00:19:54,185 --> 00:19:55,152
I fold!
490
00:19:55,154 --> 00:19:56,386
Yeah...
Oh, right. I knew that.
491
00:19:56,388 --> 00:19:58,021
I knew that, I knew that,
I knew that.
492
00:19:58,023 --> 00:19:59,323
Okay, two
players left.
493
00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:07,581
You are bluffing, robot man.
494
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,199
I raise.
495
00:20:09,201 --> 00:20:10,868
Oh.
496
00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,903
Hey, Billy, do you mind
497
00:20:12,905 --> 00:20:16,340
pushing my chips
into the center of the pot?
498
00:20:16,342 --> 00:20:19,626
Preferably with gusto,
because...
499
00:20:19,628 --> 00:20:21,862
I'm all in!
500
00:20:21,864 --> 00:20:23,914
Oh!
Oh, boy!
501
00:20:23,916 --> 00:20:26,183
- All right, all right.
- Oh!
502
00:20:29,805 --> 00:20:32,272
And that's how I becameBarney's best man again.
503
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:35,809
Everything was backto going off without a hitch.
504
00:20:35,811 --> 00:20:38,862
I'm coming for you, Mosby.
505
00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:40,981
Okay, there was oneslight hitch.
506
00:20:40,983 --> 00:20:45,983
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man35125
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