All language subtitles for A.Million.Little.Things.S05E05.No Place Like Home

That search on my phone
for Sanborn College,

that was for me.

I was thinking about
finishing my degree.

Previously on
"A Million Little Things"...

Maybe you want to get
some overpriced gelato?

Sounds good to me.

My dad's not doing so well.

They're thinking it's Alzheimer's.

I think you should move in with us, Pop.

If that's what you want.

We were meant to be friends,
so you two better get along.

Work it out.

I think I want a home birth.

I think we should look into it.

That sounds like one of Evan's bits.

Thanks.

You're right. This has
been the worst year.

Dustin?

How did this happen?

You know, it was so tough
losing Deborah the way we did.

The hospital bills were piling up.

I wasn't ready to take
care of Daniella on my own.

And when I missed too many
days at work, they let me go.

Not long after that, we
got an eviction notice.

What about Daniella?

She's at my mother-in-law's.

Can you go to a shelter?

Nah. The shelters are always full.

It's impossible to get a spot.

But don't worry about me.

I got an interview in a couple days.

I'm gonna dig myself out of this.

I just need some time.

At first, I was craving peanut butter,

and then I was craving
pickles, so I thought, why not?

Peanut butter pickles.

- I'm-a pass.
- Hard pass.

Yes, yes. Not at all.

- Mm?
- You don't have to.

Babe, seriously, don't.

Really?

You don't really have
to do th... You did it.

Oh. Wow.

- It's actually not bad.
- Wow.

- Stop.
- What?

Pregnancy does weird things to you.

That's exactly what you
said when I caught you

researching placenta pills.

No, no, that can't be a thing.

Oh, no, it's a real thing.

See, the lining of the
placenta is ground down

to a fine powder for
adult human consumption.

Mm.

Side effects may include
headaches, nausea,

and an increased risk of nightmares

from having just eaten
your own placenta.

Ignore them. How are
you actually feeling?

Are you nervous about the birth?

No. Not really.

For me, it seems so much
calmer giving birth at home.

I don't want to be around a
lot of loud beeping machines.

Machines do beep.

But they also do helpful
things, like, you know,

alerting a medical
professional in the event that,

you know, anything goes
sideways, literally.

I'll admit, I was on the fence

at first.

We started out meeting with doctors,

but I don't know, they always
felt so impersonal, like...

Like they were rushing
us out of their office,

- barely asking any questions.
- Oh, yeah.

But my first appointment with
my midwife was two hours long.

- Are you serious?
- Uh-huh.

Well, I mean, it's probably
easy to clear your calendar

when no one else is on it, right?

Evan, come on.

You're... You're on board
with the home birth thing?

Yeah. Yeah.

And to be honest with you,

I'm getting a ton of
material out of this.

You know, like, say you want
to sell your house, right?

You have to disclose
that somebody died there.

But what if somebody was born there?

Huh?

And what if you haven't quite gotten out

the amniotic fluid
stain from the carpet?

Does it lower the price?

He'll be here all week, folks.

- Tip your waiter.
- Two drink minimum.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

I already tried that
shelter. They're full.

Well, is there someone
else I can talk to, or...?

Sorry. Last call.

Well, this is the last of Pop's stuff,

so you timed that perfectly.

Oh, well, yeah, okay. If
you... If you could just...

Okay. I understand. Thanks.

See that, Pop?
It's like a five-star hotel.

You got a new comforter.
You got fresh towels.

Where's Tyrell gonna stay?

We'll figure that out when he's in town.

Come on, Pop. What do you say?

I left my toothbrush.

We have to go back to my house.

Look, you know, I've got extras.

I always keep the free ones
we get from the dentist.

I haven't made it this far
with all my original teeth

by using one of those cheap ones.

I need my electric.

Maybe Gina can take
you, because I'm spent.

Um...

Babe, I-I'd take him,

but I-I just want to try a few
more shelters before they close.

You've been calling shelters all day.

I know.

Gina, I know that you care about Dustin,

but we got a lot going on here, too.

I know. Just two more, okay?

I promise.

Alright, level with me, man.

You're really in support of
this whole home birth thing?

Yeah, I mean, it beats being born

in the back of a Buick, like I was.

You're not afraid
something could go wrong?

I'll be afraid wherever we are.

I don't know how your relationship is,

but I know whenever
I try and tell my wife

she can't do something,

it only makes her want to dig in more.

It's a care package for college.

Buddy, this is amazing.

It's everything I wish I had
on my first day of school.

So many important thoughts
went un-highlighted.

It still haunts me.

I am just relieved that kids
are still using highlighters.

I was a little worried
I was gonna get bullied

for not taking notes on
my phone or something.

Hey, if you're nervous
about bullies, remember,

the janitor is just a
friend waiting to be made.

Hence the fruit snacks.

You know, those will
make you some friends.

Truly, guys, this is just wonderful.

So, when is your first class?

I don't know.

I really need to get into
this behavioral psych class

for my major, but I went online

and it said it was already full.

You know what? I'm sure they
can figure something out.

You know, just flash them that
irresistible Eddie Saville grin.

That's the plan.

I'm gonna head down to the registrar,

see what I can do.

In fact, T, yeah, let's get a move on.

I want to get there
right when they open.

Okay. I just need to grab my backpack.

Bye, Greta. Love you, Mom.

Have fun on your field trip.

While Theo is looking at fossils,

I'm gonna be feeling like one.

A fossil with a great smile.

Aw.

Guess what.

Uh, your inny is now an outy?

Babe, I've known that for a while.

No, uh, Claire just sent
me their midwife's info.

How sweet of her to follow up.

Alright, let's hear it.

You think they're crazy
for having a home birth.

Mm. I was playing it so cool, though.

Hmm.

Is this just part of the whole

Gary-makes-fun-of-everything routine,

or are you really dead-set against it?

I'm just...

You're... You're into this idea, huh?

I'd like to explore it,

if you can get that
mind of yours to open up.

Okay.

- Really?
- Yeah, let's explore.

I will set up the appointment!

Thank you!

Maybe the woman who squeezes
things out can squeeze us in.

My mind is open. My mind is open.

So, I called him on his bluff,

and then he tried to say it
wasn't on the disclosures!

Can you believe that?

Uh, I got to be honest,

I went into power save
mode like three minutes ago.

I'm sorry, your job is super boring.

Oh, just for that, I hope you get

a "Calvin peeing" tattoo today.

Ooh, well, now I want to
hope that your deposition

goes horribly, but that
feels like bad karma.

Oh, no chance it goes badly,

because I am wearing
my lucky power suit.

I am undefeated in this thing.

I know. That's why I picked it up

at the dry cleaner's yesterday.

That was you?

I thought it was my mom.

No. I knew you were
stressed about today.

Thanks.

And I made you a spinach salad.

You forget to eat when you're deposing.

I take it back.

I hope the Calvin tattoo isn't peeing.

Oh, no.

Theo forgot his permission slip.

He says they're gonna make
him stay in study hall all day.

There's no way I can
make it before my 9:00 AM.

I'll drop it off on my way to work.

You're the best.

The last thing that kid
needs to do is study more.

I'll make sure that does not happen.

Thanks.

But I'm a psych major,
and behavioral psych

is a requirement.

As I've said, the best I can do

is put you on a wait list.

Well, how many are there ahead of me?

17.

So stupid.

You have a nice day, too.

Wow.

Some people, am I right?

No. It's most people.

What do you need?

Any chance 18 people have dropped

Behavioral Psych in the last 10 seconds?

It's closed.

I thought that's what you'd say.

Rent's paid for the next six months.

And one more thing...
The lease is in my name.

So he won't be able to find us.

You deserve a fresh start.

We both do.

I can't believe you
would do this for me.

After everything I've put you through.

Well, okay, then.

Can't blame a guy for trying.

Maybe you can.

Hey, Diane?

I've got this one.

Okay, I'll stop in before
first period. Bye.

Hey. I am sorry about that.

- I'm glad to see you.
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you for staying with my dad today.

Oh, of course. I'm happy to help.

Well, someone's in a good mood.

Me? I don't know. I'm
in a pretty normal mood.

But I'm getting better
with this yummy latte.

Have you tried this coffee...

Okay, I-I don't have all day.

That was my subtle way
of bringing up the fact

that you had a date.

Oh, well, it was very subtle.

Yeah, Regina thought you probably

wouldn't want me to ask about Lars.

Oh, good, you already know his name.

Where he works, what he
drives, level of education.

Look, you want subtle
or not, Goldilocks?

It's getting dangerously
close to stalking.

Fine, I got to hurry to work anyway.

So, you've met my dad.
You know how he is.

Regina will be home soon to
relieve you, and don't worry.

She's already talked about hazard pay.

Oh, I'm good.

I've been through this with my grandpa.

I mean, I know it's not the same, but...

No, your... your mom has
really been a big help.

Oh, hi, Mr. Howard.

Hey.

This is a nice surprise.

Dad, I told you, like,
what, three times,

Sophie is coming
by to stay with you today.

I don't need a damn baby sitter.

It's gonna go great.

- Yeah.
- You got this.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Did you see Martin's pit stains bloom

when we showed him the
piping encroachment?

I wanted to cut them out and frame them.

Look at us. The dynamic duo.

Oh, sorry.

The part of Robin's been
cast, and Greta is crushing it.

You know, I wish I
could say the same thing

about my boy wonder.

What? I thought things with
Ian were going really great.

They were, but we...
We hit a rough patch.

We're having a bit of
a... physical issue.

I know you can get a prescription.

Oh, no.

Not that kind of physical issue.

No, it's... It's my tattoo.

Every time he sees
it, he loses interest.

I mean, he says it's a huge turn-off.

Okay. Um, hmm.

I hesitate to ask since I'm
just learning about this tattoo,

but what is it?

It's the name of an ex on my...

- Oh, God.
- Shoulder.

Oh, good.

Except for it's not good,
because Ian is the jealous type.

You know what?

I think I can actually
help you out with this one.

I think it's awesome you're
going back to college.

Have you thought about your major?

Uh, yeah, I was thinking
about a psych major

with a minor in social work.

I want to become an addiction counselor.

Wow. Eddie, that's,
um... That's incredible.

How long have you been working here?

Uh, almost six months now.

I love it.

They've got a K through 6 school

right on campus for the employees' kids.

It's great for Julian.

Wow. He's certainly grown up.

I know, right?

He's gonna be 7 next month.

How about things with your husband?

The divorce was finalized
right around the time

I got this job.

He's getting help,

and he sees Julian for
supervised visits twice a month.

So, right now, everything
is actually okay.

And we still live in the
apartment you found us.

Well, I'm really glad to hear that.

Thank you.

But I can't help
seeing you in that chair

and thinking I belong in jail.

No.

That would have helped no one.

Julian needs his mom,
and I'm just glad you

found a job that makes you happy.

I really do like working
with the students.

I especially like helping those

that can't get into full psych classes.

Now, I can't bump you to
the top of the wait list...

Oh, no. I would never expect that.

But I can add another slot to the class.

Are you sure that's okay?

I-I don't want any special favors.

I'm already on the 20 year plan.

What's a few more?

I'm not so sure it's a favor.

Dr. Craft is pretty tough.

You should get going.

Your class started five minutes ago.

Thank you.

You want any help unpacking?

Nope. Not staying long.

Well, we could at
least make it look nice

for as long as you're here.

I'm fine.

You can just watch TV or something.

I know you don't want to
hang with a boring old man.

Actually, I'm not big on TV.

Radio girl all the way.

Wow, look at this stuff.

You've got all the classics.

Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson.

Pretty young to know that kind of music.

Oh, come on. This stuff is timeless.

Who's your favorite?

Mr. Otis Redding.

Mind if I put it on?

Be my guest.

And then once you're around
8 centimeters dilated,

you'll have the option
of moving into the nice,

warm birthing tub.

Uh, they say that's...

That's more comfortable
for the baby, right?

Transitioning to water first.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Water
is much closer to what

the womb feels like, so
it's less disorienting.

Water babies tend to be very calm.

Well, I just have a few questions.

Um, and these are in
no particular order.

Yeah.

So, a woman in Tucson, Arizona
was having a-a home birth,

and the midwife thought that
the baby was breathing abnormally

because, uh, it was such a long labor.

Turns out the baby died
from the lack of oxygen.

So, how would... How
would you prevent that?

Okay, well, I can't
speak to that particular

midwife in Tucson,

but I'm a licensed medical professional.

I can do everything a doctor
can do, short of surgery.

So, I would be monitoring Maggie
and the baby the entire time,

and at any sign of distress,

we would just transfer
to the nearest hospital.

Oh, where the real doctors are.

Great. Okay.

Hm.

I assure you, Maggie
will only be cleared to

give birth at home if
everything is pointing

to a normal delivery
with no complications.

A woman in Lincoln, Nebraska,
was having a baby at home,

and, um, after it was born,

she kept bleeding, and the
midwife couldn't stop it,

and, uh, well, she died before the...

Okay, let's... Let's put that away,

and, uh, maybe ask some questions

that are not ending in tragedy.

- Okay.
- It's okay, Maggie.

This process isn't for everyone,

so if having your baby in a hospital

would make you both feel the most safe,

then that's where you should give birth.

Although, I would suggest
maybe look up how many babies

are switched in
the hospital maternity ward.

It's a lot.

That's a solid point, Mallory.

I just want you to have
all the information, okay?

Including that any time I do a delivery,

I inform the nearest hospital,

so we have a safe backup plan.

Could you just explain
why we wouldn't want

said backup plan in
the same room with us.

We live literally two seconds
from an emergency room.

Not literally.

Not literally.

It seems like you two
have a choice to make.

Okay, so whatever you
mutually decide, I-I just...

I wish you a safe, happy,
and healthy journey.

That's very kind. Thank you.

Something wrong with your truck?

Uh, it won't start, but I
think it's just the battery.

What are you doing back here?

Good news.

I spent the better part of last night

cutting through really
frustrating red tape,

but I got you a spot in... In a shelter.

That won't be necessary.

Well, I thought it might be nice for you

to have a bed to sleep in,

and hot meals and a real
shower for a change.

I mean, especially since you
got that interview coming up.

Regina, I'm good, okay?

I appreciate everything
you're doing for me,

but I told you not to worry about me.

- Well, it's really not a...
- Regina!

Please.

Hey, Dad, have you seen my pencil?

Thanks for letting me use your pencil.

They're good for the outlines.

Of course. You're very talented.

Thanks.

I can only color 'til
the sun sets, though,

'cause then it gets hard to see.

Well, I'm impressed.

I learned how to do
shading. I can show you.

I just got to find my charcoal pencils.

So, the mother-in-law
was a lie, I take it?

Yeah.

How long has Daniella been living here?

Only a few weeks.

I'm getting her to school every day.

We're managing.

And like I said, this is only temporary.

Yeah. I'm sure it is, but...

Okay, but what about the shelter?

Can I call and see if
they have another bed?

The minute we walk into
one of those places,

someone will call CPS,

and they'll take her away from me.

I don't know if you know
this, but I'm a foster parent,

and, look, I know the
system is troubled, okay?

But maybe... Look,
it's not all that bad.

Absolutely not.

I'm all she has left.
She's staying with me.

I found them.

Regina's got to go now.

Say goodbye.

Bye.

Bye.

Okay.

My mom's a psychiatrist,
and my dad's a psychologist,

so I've had my behavior studied
since I could lift my own head.

Uh, I'll be honest, part of the reason

I'm taking this class is just

so I can hold my own
during Thanksgiving.

I think you're in the wrong place.

We're in the middle of class.

Um...

Actually, I am in this class.

That's impossible. It's full.

Uh...

Thank you.

I was just added.

Sorry I'm late.

Okay.

Um...

Oh.

Thank you.

Uh, she asked us all to share
why we want to take this class.

Oh, thanks.

Thank you for sharing, Jet,

and I believe that just
leaves us with Marie.

Me?

Yeah.

Oh.

What drew me to psychology was my...

♪ I've been loving you ♪

See? I know my stuff.

Renee always loved this song.

She'd play it while she did the dishes,

dancing around our kitchen.

What about you?

Anyone special in your life yet?

Oh, come on. What?

Did Rome put you up to ask me that?

No!

At least, I don't think so.

♪ My love is growing stronger ♪

I-I went out on a date
with a guy this week,

and everyone is asking me about it,

and I know that they
mean well, but honestly,

I just don't have much to say

because the date was just okay.

♪ Too long ♪

But I feel like people

will think there's
something wrong with me

if I don't want to see him again.

I met Renee on a train.

Have I told you this?

Mnh-mnh.

I'd just finished basic
training at Paris Island.

I was about to ship out, so
I hopped a train to Boston

to see my folks one last time,

and somehow, this beautiful woman

ended up in the seat next to me.

Renee had missed the early train.

She was always late.

It was just blind luck
we ended up together.

We spent the whole time
talking and laughing.

Honestly, I-I knew

I wanted to spend the
rest of my life with her

before we even left South Carolina.

That's beautiful, Mr. Howard.

Renee was unforgettable.

Even from the first moment I met her.

So there's nothing wrong with you

if you want to hold
out for unforgettable.

♪ I've been loving you ♪

Look who decided to show up.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You all right?

Not really, no.

So that was just an ambush?

You wanted to "gotcha" our midwife?

No, I wanted you to hear all the facts.

I can't believe I thought
you could be open-minded

for even two minutes.

Well... You know what?

I wanted to. I did.
Okay? I wanted to be Evan.

Cool, chill, born-in-a-car,
do-whatever-you-want guy.

But I didn't expect you to
fall in love with the midwife.

I figured you'd spend
10 minutes with her

and then actually come to your senses.

Obviously, I wish I hadn't said that.

Do you even know why I want this?

We have spent so much time in hospitals

that I associate that
with sickness and fear.

I don't want to be anywhere near that

when we bring our son into the world.

I thought if anybody
would understand that,

it would be you.

I get it, but right
now, all I care about

is that you are both safe, okay?

You're implying that I don't care

about the safety of my child.

Meanwhile, I am the one who
has to gain a million pounds

and be uncomfortable all the time

and have my body
basically ripped in half

to give birth to our child.

You know, it's not easy
watching you got through all this

from the sideline either, okay?

Oh, yeah, you've got it really tough.

Our baby is being born
in a hospital, period.

Oh, you're putting your foot down?

You know what? Yeah, I am.

Okay, well, Fred Flintstone,

I don't know how to tell you this,

but my baby is being born from my body

wherever the hell I choose!

We use the hierarchy of needs
to study behavioral motivation.

Now, Maslow used these terms

specifically to...

I'm gonna assume what
you're reading on your phone

is a more insightful take on
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Oh. Sorry. Urgent text.

Well, please, share with the class.

It is a rule.

No cellphones allowed in my classroom,

which you would know if
you'd read the syllabus.

My son's school went on a field trip

to the Museum of Natural History today.

This was his first time
seeing a woolly mammoth.

- Can I see?
- Yeah.

Aww!

- I want to see.
- Yeah.

- He's like 10.
- Okay.

We may as well make this interruption

a learning opportunity.

So, Mr. Saville,

what level of Maslow's
needs would you say

the behavioral motivation
of that response is?

Maggie Bloom? I thought
my work here was done.

What's up, Doc?

You know, you don't have to be here

for these appointments,
but Maggie kind of does.

Is, uh... Is everything okay?

Maggie wants to have our baby at home.

Really?

Yeah, it's bonkers, right?

No, no, sorry. I, uh...

I laughed because when my husband Roger

and I had our baby with a surrogate,

she opted to do a home birth,

something that, as a physician,

I wasn't super comfortable with.

Thank you.

But the truth is, it went fine.

It did?

Because right now, if I'm being honest,

my plan is to rent a hospital room

until the due date, put
a Bruins jersey on the wall,

and convince Maggie that's our home.

I promise you, everything went smoothly.

Except for one minor medical emergency.

Roger passed out and bruised
his elbow on the bedframe.

I'm not sure if he passed out

from seeing our baby
come out of a vagina

or just from seeing a
vagina, but he was fine,

and more importantly,
baby and mother were A-OK.

You just get to say vagina all day.

You think you can give me something to,

I don't know, lower my blood pressure?

Look, it is totally
natural to have anxiety

around the birth, however you do it,

but midwives are highly
trained professionals,

and since I'm guessing you came here

for my honest opinion...

I did.

Gary, I really believe the
safest way to give birth

is whatever makes the
mom most comfortable.

I just can't stop thinking
about when I first met him.

I was in such a bad place.

When was that?

Uh, back when I thought my
restaurant was going down.

Dark times.

Literally.

It was in the middle of a blackout.

Dustin showed up with
his crew and reminded me

why I even do what I
do in the first place.

I love making people happy with my food.

Love. So that is your secret ingredient.

And after that, I had the
strength to keep going, and...

And then last year,

when I actually did lose the restaurant,

he happened to stop by on that very day.

I mean, the last meal I
ever made in that kitchen

was for him.

It was right after his wife died.

I made dinner for him and Daniella.

I mean, Dustin gave me
perspective on my life

when I needed it most.

And I think this time, I
am supposed to help him.

I mean, maybe you can
call social services or...?

No.

I made one phone call
and blew up Joseph's life,

and now he's gone.

Yeah, no.

I won't make another call
like that about Dustin.

Have you talked to Rome about this?

No, I-I can't put this
on his plate right now.

Would you mind staying here
with Walter a little longer?

No, not at all.

Great.

Yeah, and, uh, hopefully,

I will be back before
he wakes up from his nap.

No worries.

Thank you.

Okay.

Ooh, very nice. Comic Sans.

Uh, let me guess... 2011?

Exactly.

So, who is this mysterious Don?

I mean, it must have been
a pretty serious boyfriend

to have his name permanently
tattooed on your body.

He is my ex-husband, actually.

Wait, you were married?

How do I not know this?

Because you don't listen.

Just kidding.

We were only married six days.

Oh, and on the seventh day, you rested?

I was in my 30s, paying
my dues as a paralegal

in New York City...

Wait, I lived in New York in 2011.

- What?
- In the East Village.

- Hell's Kitchen.
- Neighbors!

I love that you two are having a moment,

but I need to hear more
about your ex-husband Don.

Ah, fine.

So, he was a writer, and when we met,

he was working on one of
those late-night talk shows,

and he was, ugh, funny
and... And smart and cute.

Really cute. Like an 8.5.

Anyway, June 24, 2011,

the day that New York
passed marriage equality,

they had this big
rally in Union Square...

Um, I was at that rally.

- No way.
- Yes way.

Do you remember the guy wearing nothing

- but a rainbow wig?
- Uh, yeah.

Those drapes definitely
didn't match the carpet.

What about Don? Was Don there, too?

Oh, honey, everyone was there.

In fact, that's where he proposed.

I mean, we'd only been
dating, like, a month,

but we were so caught up in the
moment and ridiculously happy.

And he got down on one knee,
him and his rainbow wig...

Shut up.

No!

I'm just kidding about that part.

I mean, Don was bald.

That's why I docked him the point-5.

Anyway, we did the city hall
thing, and a few days later,

he got a job offer in
L.A., and as it turned out,

neither of us were that jazzed

about moving cross country together,

and realizing it wasn't a forever thing,

we had the marriage annulled.

Oh.

Still, couldn't have
been an easy decision.

No. No, but I regret nothing.

After so many years and so many marches

and so much prejudice
and violence against us,

we were finally just
like everybody else.

We had the legal right
to marry whoever we chose,

and on that day, Don chose
me, and I chose him right back.

That's why you kept his name

on your shoulder all these years.

That hurts more than I remember.

- This is a pen.
- Okay.

I would... I would
never use a needle on you

- until I knew you loved it.
- Alright.

So, actually,

you can check it out.

_

I love it.

Wilma, I'm home.

And as a peace offering,

I have brought Brontosaurus burgers.

Evan texted.

Claire went into labor at
home, but something went wrong

and they had to go to the hospital.

She's in surgery now.

♪ You make me feel
like a natural woman ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ You make me feel
like a natural woman ♪

♪ Woman ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪

Dad?

Hey, son.

Hey. Where's Regina?

Uh, she had to head out.

I think something to do with Dustin.

Of course she did. Sophie, I'm sorry.

If I'd known, I'd have come home.

No worries.

Honestly, I'm not sure
which is more impressive...

Your dad's record collection
or his soft baritone.

Alright, stop buttering me up.

I already said you
could stay for dinner.

Look at you, settling in.

Maybe your mom can make
her famous chicken piccata.

Where is she, anyway? She's always late.

Um, uh, Dad, I told you. I think...

I'm sure she'll be here any minute.

How about another Otis Redding?

That's a good idea. She gonna love that.

Let me go get it.

Hey, I'm...

I'm not so sure it's the best thing

to make him think my mom's coming home.

I'm... I'm trying to make
him understand this reality.

I get that, but with my grandpa,

I spent so much time
pushing him to remember

the things that I
wanted him to remember,

just trying to get him to be the person

that I needed him to be,

but his nurse told
me that correcting him

can actually just lead to
more frustration and confusion.

And I realized that the time we had left

was just too precious.

So, I let go, and I lived in his reality

instead of trying to
force him back into mine.

And it got a lot easier after that.

Oh, God. What is it?

"Baby and Mom are happy and healthy.

Thanks again for the
spicy kimchi last night."

Oh, thank God.

Oh.

You think our baby is also going
to look like a little Gollum?

No. Maybe.

But if he does, he'll
be the cutest little

Gollum anyone has ever seen.

Alright.

Let's have our little
Gollum in the hospital.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We don't have to overreact to this.

You saw the text. "Happy
and healthy", right?

Well, now you're talking me
out of the hospital?

What happened?

As you know, I'm... I'm
a close-minded person,

so I went to see Dr. Anderson.

And his son was born at
home, and everything was fine.

And hearing that from
someone wearing a stethoscope

made me feel better.

Ah.

Well, if I'm being honest,

of course I am afraid to do it here.

I'm afraid to do it anywhere,

especially if I don't have your support.

You don't ever, ever
have to worry about that.

I will have your back no matter what.

You give birth wherever you want.

Except maybe Canada.

I'm worried we'll fall in
love with the healthcare system

and never come back.

But anywhere in the continental
United States, I'm there.

I love how much you care.

You know that?

Well, it's hard caring this much,

especially when we don't
see things the same way.

So, how do we do this?

Maybe we keep Dr. Anderson on retainer?

Are you saying that
because he took your side?

- Yeah. Duh.
- Well played.

I don't know either.

I do know that there's no one else

I would rather sit next to
while I'm waiting for my friend

to get out of surgery.

Even when you are acting
like a cartoon caveman.

I think if we remember
that, we'll be okay.

I think that's a good plan.

Good.

Because I can't wait to talk
to you about homeschooling.

What?

So, you just don't want the kid to ever

leave the apartment?

Mm.

Hey.

Listen, I just wanted to
apologize about earlier.

I feel like we got
off on the wrong foot,

or in my case, a wheel.

Is that how you got into my class?

By playing the sympathy card?

What? No.

Of course not.

Psych 101 is a prerequisite
for my course,

and Maslow is covered week one.

Well, I took Psych 101.

- A decade ago.
- Uh-huh.

I don't expect any special treatment.

There were 17 students
ahead of you on the waitlist,

so do you care to explain
how you jumped the line?

Well... I can't.

This class is tough,

and I do not go easy on anybody.

So if you really want to be
treated like everybody else...

- I do.
- Okay.

- Here.
- What is that?

It's a drop form.

If anybody else didn't
know the material already,

that's exactly what I
would tell them to do.

So come on, why don't you
just save both of us some time?

_

_

Thanks for having my suit all
ready for me to wear today.

Yeah, of course.

And for making me lunch, and
for clearing your schedule

so you could help Carter.

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Hey, T. Everything all right?

Yeah, I just forgot to
mention another cool thing

I learned on my field trip today.

There's another cool thing?

Did you know that only
four centimeters of tar

was enough to trap even
the largest animals?

No, I did not.

This is news to me.

And once they got stuck,
it took months for them

to eventually sink into the earth.

That sounds awful.

Awful interesting.

I can't wait to go again.

Thanks, Greta, for bringing
me my permission slip.

Oh. I always got your back, Theo,

even when you gift me with
never-ending nightmares.

Well, good night.

Sweet dreams, T.

Night.

Love you guys.

We love you, too.

Oh, my God, he loves me.

He sure does.

And I love him.

And I love you.

I love you, too.

I call this bed.

Wait, I changed my
mind. I want this bed.

Uh, this has to be only one night.

I can't let you pay for us.

But a few nights won't cost me anything.

- Yeah, but...
- No, I'm using airline miles,

and I want you to have them.

Please?

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Alright, let's get you ready for bed.

I'm not tired yet!

Hey, Pop.

Can I help you unpack
some of these boxes?

When am I going home?

Dad...

I'd love it if you'd
at least stay the night.

It's getting late, and it's been a while

since we watched an old movie together.

Can I pick the movie?

Absolutely.

I'll even make popcorn.

Can I ask... why don't
you want to stay here?

You can tell me.

What if I wake up and
I don't know where I am?

What if...

What if we hang up
some of these pictures

so it doesn't feel so unfamiliar?

You know, maybe

if you see you're surrounded by family,

you'll remember you're somewhere safe.

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

You even got the tools to hang these?

Of course I do.

My pain in the ass
father gave me a tool box

when he sent me off to college.

Sounds like a smart, practical way

to send you out into the world.

Oh, wow, and that
sounds like my dad, 100%.

Ooh. Gary.

I'm up.

Yes, I'm... I'm awake. You okay?

I think I just had a contraction.

Oh?

What?

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