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1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:03,029
Well, it's come to this.
2
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:05,401
We're drinking with our baby in a bar.
3
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:10,034
It is not a bar. It's a restaurant
that happens to have a bar.
4
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,271
Ergo, we are good parents.
5
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:15,473
Unrelated, I'm getting faced right now.
Papa needs a grease coat.
6
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:19,075
While it is heartwarming to watch your
firstborn teethe on a jalapeño popper...
7
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:20,813
wasn't Mickey gonna watch him today?
8
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,082
My dad's out all week.
He's got the sniffles.
9
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:26,091
For someone who survived
numerous beatings from loan sharks...
10
00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:29,458
he has a surprisingly delicate constitution.
11
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,623
Well, my semester's over,
and the GNB building is finally done.
12
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,633
If you guys want, I'm free to watch Marvin.
13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,465
I'm meeting with a headhunter next week,
uh, to line up my next project.
14
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,129
But until then, what the hell?
15
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,730
Ted, although a "what the hell" attitude...
16
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,743
is incredibly sought after
in a babysitter...
17
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:47,905
- I think that Lily and Marshall probably...
- You're hired.
18
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,573
Now that we've been parents for a while...
19
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:52,277
we realize that pretty much any moron
can take care of a baby.
20
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,013
Thank you.
21
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,678
Mine!
22
00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,815
- Ow.
- Delicious and mine.
23
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:03,924
But they do look yummy-yum-yum, mister.
24
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,003
No. No! What have I done?
25
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,096
Oh, I'm so sorry, Cornelius.
26
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,438
You deserve a better end than this!
27
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:19,808
What? You got ketchup on a red tie.
You can't even see it.
28
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,475
Come on. Come on.
29
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,485
Clear.
30
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,783
I'm going in.
31
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:36,694
Oh, my God. Damn it, guys. We lost him.
32
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,958
And he was so close to retirement.
33
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,863
Just this morning he said to me...
34
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,562
"I'm getting too old for this shirt."
35
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,264
I know, dude.
36
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:56,973
Oh, my God.
37
00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:00,144
You are such a good folder.
38
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:04,088
That's, like, The Gap-good.
39
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,818
Robin.
40
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:10,719
Let's go hit the bar...
a-at this restaurant.
41
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,594
L-I think they have a bar here.
42
00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,660
- Okay, what was that?
- What was what?
43
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,229
The "dumb cheerleader flirting
with the quarterback" thing?
44
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:25,437
You looked like you were gonna chase Barney
down with a sixer of watermelon wine coolers.
45
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:28,174
Okay, first of all,
those bad girls come in fourskis.
46
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:33,242
And second, why would I be flirting
with Barney? I'm not interested in him.
47
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,617
And I made that very clear...
48
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,418
with something that I did... recently.
49
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,220
Just spill it.
50
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:44,593
The other week,
Barney made a move, but I turned him down.
51
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:48,532
I felt awful for closing the door in
his face, but he realized I was right.
52
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,126
I'm done trying to get you.
53
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:52,694
I can't do it anymore.
54
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,706
- And now I get it.
- Get what?
55
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:57,208
You may have closed the door
on Barney, but he locked it.
56
00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:00,246
- What? No, he didn't.
- Yeah, he got the last word.
57
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:03,043
And now you want what you can't have,
like you always do.
58
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,710
It's the classic lobster situation.
59
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,753
I'm afraid you're allergic to lobster.
60
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:11,449
You can never, ever, ever have it.
61
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:22,395
Oh, this is delicious!
62
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:26,063
Once you learned you couldn't have lobster,
you became obsessed.
63
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:29,233
Barney's the same thing,
and this is gonna blow up in your face...
64
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,402
just like the lobster blew up your face.
65
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,911
Wrong. This is nothing like lobster.
66
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,108
Okay. Just remember,
you can never hook up with Barney again.
67
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,411
Never...
68
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:44,013
Ever, ever, ever, ever.
69
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,604
Oh, no.
70
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:02,197
Marshall, Lily and Ted can't make it
for viable reasons...
71
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:03,867
I just learned via this text message...
72
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,706
I accidentally deleted.
73
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,939
Guess it's just gonna be you and me.
74
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,606
- Fine by me.
- Me too.
75
00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:14,278
Totally, super fine.
76
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:17,380
Hey, there, Scherbats,
your voice of reason here. What ya doin'?
77
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,049
I hope you don't mind, but I was hungry...
78
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,150
so I ordered MacLaren's new special.
79
00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,991
I couldn't eat lunch at work
because they ordered...
80
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,655
Thai food.
81
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,723
I miss you, Cornelius!
82
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,825
Oh, my God.
83
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:33,167
You're so sensitive and deep.
84
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:35,264
No, you're better than this.
85
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,901
Barney is not like lobster.
86
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:41,743
Okay, that's unfortunate, but it doesn't
mean you have to hook up with Barney.
87
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:44,282
- Whoa!
- God, you said that out loud!
88
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,784
- No, I didn't.
- How would you know? You're out of control.
89
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,981
Oh, you think you're so smart, don't you, bitch?
90
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:53,992
Um, billion-dollar idea alert.
91
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,961
Why should bibs only be socially acceptable
when you're eating lobster?
92
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,396
If we could wear them
all the time, then Corny...
93
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,956
Would still be with us right now.
94
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,502
I miss.
95
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,937
Picture a bib that looks like your suit.
96
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,805
- A collar, a tie, a jacket.
- Mm-hmm.
97
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,936
Attagir!. Keep it cool.
98
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:15,913
I could call them bro bibs.
99
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,506
That's interesting.
100
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,849
Yeah, you got this.
I'm sorry I called you a bitch.
101
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:26,881
- What do you think?
- Oh, that idea is amaze-balls!
102
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,951
That's it. I'm outta here.
103
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:36,135
I'm out of control. I came this close
to telling Barney that I wanted him.
104
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:39,467
Robin, as your friend, I gotta be honest.
105
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:42,440
I think this bro-bibs thing
is a frickin' gold mine.
106
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,238
What? No, Lily, I really need advice.
107
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:48,109
Okay. Invest now, seriously.
108
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,445
It's like Apple at $10.00 a share.
109
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,246
- Lily, please.
- Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just...
110
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,310
I'm-I'm a little distracted.
111
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,948
I... I gotta get upstairs
and check on Ted and Marvin.
112
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,687
Can we please just talk
about this bro-bib thing another time?
113
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,827
How was your day?
114
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:09,800
Good, although I think I just saw a woman
with a full beard outside.
115
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,996
- Marvin crawled!
- What?
116
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,801
- He-He's never done that before!
- I know!
117
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,866
I think I just saw
a guy with breasts outside.
118
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:21,141
- Marvin crawled. I can't believe it.
- Believe it.
119
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,842
- I took a video for ya.
- Oh.
120
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:27,181
You're doing it, Marvin.
Go! Go! Go, go, go!
121
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:31,280
Oh. Your Uncle Ted is so proud.
122
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:34,758
Whoops. Guess I had the camera flipped.
123
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:37,421
I... I use it to check my teeth for debris.
124
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:42,457
Ooh, sounds like somebody's "crawling" me.
125
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,271
Oh, sweetie.
126
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:51,140
Oh, come on. Lil, listen.
So we missed the first time he crawled.
127
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:54,270
So what?
We'll see it the next time. I promise.
128
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,867
Oh, my God! He just did it again!
129
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,715
Guys, get in here. Marvin can't stop crawling.
130
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,988
He's Holden Crawl-field!
Get in here right now!
131
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,891
No, nope. It's over.
132
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:15,532
Okay, hey, I know.
Baby, I know. I know. But listen.
133
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,399
There will be plenty of
other Marvin firsts.
134
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,634
His first day at school.
His first trip to meet Santa.
135
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:25,404
His first touchdown pass
for the 2032 Super Bowl Champion Vikings.
136
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,504
No pressure. I'll love him even if he
runs the ball into the end zone.
137
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,709
- Okay.
- So can we please just let this crawling thing go?
138
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,844
Yeah, okay. You're right.
I mean, I... I'm being nuts.
139
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,515
- We'll-We'll-We'll see it when we see it.
- Yeah.
140
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,057
Do it.
141
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:43,061
If you ever wanna see these boobs again,
crawl, you son of a me.
142
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,687
Come on, Lil.
143
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:48,598
You know what they say.
A watched tot never crawls.
144
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:54,333
Or calls you later in life
after it sees this disturbing footage.
145
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,602
Hey, Lily, Marshall.
146
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,871
Uh, Lily, we-we need to talk.
147
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,742
Oh, that sounds serious!
148
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,941
Oh, you guys should talk about it down
at the bar until after Marvin's asleep.
149
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,883
And if you wanna stay there until after
SportsCenter is over, that's fine too.
150
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,443
Ooh.
151
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:13,285
Keep shooting.
If you miss it, I'm leaving you.
152
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,059
Yeah, that seems about right.
153
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:24,193
Sorry if I'm bad company.
154
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:28,366
I'm not sure anything's gonna take my mind
off of missing Marvin's first crawl.
155
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,773
Lily, I've had a revelation.
156
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,641
Bro bibs for women. Bitch bibs!
157
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:36,546
You know Barney's gonna sue us,
but, damn it, let's just go for it.
158
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:40,211
No, Lily, this is serious. When that doctor
told me I couldn't eat lobster...
159
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,481
and I did it anyway, it almost killed me.
160
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:46,150
But here's the thing.
I never wanted lobster again.
161
00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:49,888
So, the solution is obvious. The only way
to get Barney out of my system...
162
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:54,262
is to get him into my system...
one last time.
163
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:56,733
- It's brilliant, right?
- Not brilliant at all.
164
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,667
- Thanks for being on board.
- Not on board.
165
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,228
- It means a lot.
- Big mistake.
166
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,103
You're my girl.
167
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:06,235
Now it's just a question of how to get him.
168
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,106
Hey, Robin, I just got your text!
What's the big emergency?
169
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,744
Hi, Barney. You seem like you run fast.
170
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,180
- Do you want me to fan you with my Us magazine?
- He's fine.
171
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:20,317
Thanks, Patrice.
172
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,258
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
173
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:24,193
I just got this new printer...
174
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:27,255
and I need somebody big and strong
to take it to my office for me.
175
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,358
I promise to repay you.
176
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,528
We'll do it for you, Robin!
177
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,596
Don't you have a late-breaking
weather story to cover, Brandi?
178
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,370
Oh, I did it already. It rained.
179
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:41,573
Well, I gotta jump on a big bro-bibs conference call.
180
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:46,175
The lawyer from Dude Aprons
is really busting my balls. See ya.
181
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,552
Nobody asked for your help, Patrice!
182
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:53,820
You either, Brandi!
183
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,788
Hey, hey!
184
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:01,492
What are you guys doing
slobbering all over my friend?
185
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,728
Oh, Barney, don't be jealous.
186
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:07,239
If you're gonna drool, do it in style!
187
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,639
♪♪ Just go to brobibs. Com.
188
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,076
We've got every look in the book.
189
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,136
The Business Casual.
190
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,306
The Preppy.
191
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:22,319
The Robin Williams.
192
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,052
Bib up!
193
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,653
Bro Bibs is in no way affiliated with,
inspired by or derivative of Dude Aprons.
194
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,335
Hey there.
195
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,564
Hey!
196
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,866
It is so good to see you.
197
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:48,937
Thanks, Robin! This game
affects my league score.
198
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:53,978
Look, I don't agree
with your lobster quest...
199
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,147
but I can't stand watching you
make a fool of yourself.
200
00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,090
You want the fix? I got the fix.
201
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,490
Back in college...
202
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,755
it was love at first sight
for me and Marshall.
203
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,855
But when it came to making
the first move, well...
204
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:08,923
he needed help.
205
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,869
So I took matters into my own hands.
206
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,635
- Let's get out of here.
- Mmm.
207
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:23,142
You just need a girl who, I don't know,
gets a few drinks in her...
208
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:25,809
and wants to have fun and put on a show.
209
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:29,787
And it drives guys crazy 'cause
you both don't even care.
210
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,050
It's just stupid and fun.
211
00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:35,093
Oh, Lily, that sounds perfect. Thank you.
212
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:39,291
Mmm.
Just stupid, stupid and fun.
213
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,061
Hmm.
214
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,396
Who the hell is that?
215
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:50,970
Hey, guys, Barney.
216
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,809
This is Brandi, my fun friend from work
who just doesn't even care.
217
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,110
Hello, Brandi.
218
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,242
Congratulations on the gig.
219
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:02,515
Aw, thank you! World Wide News
is an amazing place to work.
220
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,614
Not that gig, sweetheart.
221
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,456
- Marshall!
- What?
222
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:16,125
Ow!
223
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:20,366
It's late. I'm so tipsy.
224
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,839
It is late. We should get out of here.
225
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,609
So, Brandi...
226
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:31,047
you ever sneak into the studio and do it
in front of the weather map?
227
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,812
No. Why do you ask?
228
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,284
No reason.
229
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:39,184
Someone's about to get unseasonably banged.
230
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,388
Damn it!
231
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,861
What did I do wrong?
232
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,524
- Nothing. It was awesome.
- Oh, Marshall, let it go!
233
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:54,035
- Hey.
- Hey, Lily Pad.
234
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:58,543
So don't be upset.
Ted took Marvin shopping...
235
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:03,241
and sort of bought him
all his winter clothes.
236
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,844
Get ready for our star runway model.
237
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:09,649
Or should I say our star crawl-way model?
238
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,747
He's doing it again, guys! Get in here!
239
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,485
No, nope. It's over.
240
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,925
- That's it. Ted's fired.
- What? Fired?
241
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,555
No, come on. Lily, he's helping us out.
242
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,397
Plus, next week, your dad will be back, and
Ted has the meeting with that headhunter.
243
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,060
Let's just stay cool.
244
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:28,266
Starting at quarterback,
the pride of Cleveland...
245
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:31,434
Marvin Eriksen. Right?
246
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:34,172
Right, guys?
He's gonna be a little Browns fan.
247
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,745
Oh, by the way, I canceled that meeting
with the headhunter...
248
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,445
so I can take care of Marvin next week.
249
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,714
What? No, no.
My dad will be better by then.
250
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,882
Oh, I gave Mickey the month off.
It's supposed to snow, and, uh...
251
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:48,893
Uncle Ted doesn't want to miss
Marvin's first sleigh ride.
252
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,223
You're fired.
253
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:02,237
Marvin has a bib with little... little dinosaurs on it.
Maybe you should make one like that.
254
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:05,106
Bro bibs are for grown
men wearing bibs, Ted.
255
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,577
I don't want them looking like idiots.
256
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:12,176
Lily, Marshall, you know you
can't keep him away from me.
257
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,845
- He's gonna start asking questions.
- Calm down, Ted.
258
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,718
We-We just wanted to apologize.
We overreacted before.
259
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,781
Mm-hmm.
260
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,226
Meet us at the swim class
you apparently signed Marvin up for.
261
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:25,786
Bubble Buddies? I'd love to...
262
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,231
I mean, I'll have to check my "skedge."
263
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,666
Sorry. When I'm excited,
I abbreviate words I shouldn't.
264
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,966
Come on, Ted. What do you say?
265
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:35,131
Fab. Perf. Sorry.
266
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:38,074
See you at B-Buds. Bubble Buddies. Sorry.
267
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,415
Augie. Jayden. Dylan. Girl Dylan.
268
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,582
- Hey, Ted.
- Hey. Where's Marvin?
269
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:52,522
Does Coach Amber have him warming up
in the Jacuzz? Sorry again. Okay.
270
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:54,718
Oh, hey, buddy, listen.
271
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:58,991
We wanted to talk to you about how you've
kind of been overdoing it with Marvin.
272
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,531
I haven't been overdoing it.
273
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:03,067
Ted, we're in a baby swim class...
274
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,000
and clearly you've done
something extreme...
275
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,368
to get the naming rights
to that lollipop bin.
276
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:12,170
Look, I-I think that we've figured out
what's going on with you.
277
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,939
You see, a-after we let you go...
278
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,674
What is this?
279
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,477
"Marvin's Book of Firsts"?
280
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,852
Ted took Marvin to see Santa?
281
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,628
Oh, I am gonna take this book,
and I'm gonna shove it so far up his...
282
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:39,034
The point is it made us remember
another scrapbook you made.
283
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,180
That project really was your baby...
284
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:55,345
and now it's over,
and you're scared to move on.
285
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:58,686
I poured my blood, sweat and tears
into that building.
286
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,622
Though to be fair,
a lot of that happened...
287
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,719
the day I accidentally fell
down the elevator shaft.
288
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,060
The point is it's-it's
just really hard to let go...
289
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,451
especially when that building
is my biggest accomplishment.
290
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,095
I mean, maybe if I was where
you guys are at in life...
291
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,105
with all you have to be proud of.
292
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,304
We get it, okay?
293
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,437
You're-You're always gonna be Uncle Ted.
294
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,815
But if Marvin can't be your next project...
295
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,714
you need one of your own.
296
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:29,413
And so we rescheduled
your meeting with that headhunter.
297
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,888
He's-He's over there.
298
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,553
Which one is he?
299
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,186
- Thanks, guys.
- Mm-hmm.
300
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,943
Marvin and I are lucky you're our parents.
301
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,398
Aw.
302
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,367
Oh, hey, Ted.
303
00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,027
Kind of a big professional meeting.
304
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:48,972
- You might wanna trade out that lollipop for a shirt.
- Yeah.
305
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,532
- I'll just give it to one of these kids.
- Oh, buddy.
306
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,510
- What?
- You're half-naked.
307
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:57,640
You're not a parent to any of these
children. Don't offer 'em candy.
308
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,546
I can't believe Barney
went home with Brandi.
309
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,952
I should've asked you
to do that play with me.
310
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,423
Well, it's too late now, isn't it?
311
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,290
There he is. Straddle me.
Start grinding. Nothing's off-limits.
312
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:15,129
So, last night, Brandi and I
got to the WWN studios...
313
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:20,228
and my high-pressure system
was ready to slam into her warm front.
314
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:23,138
The studio's unlocked.
The weather map's up.
315
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,700
Ready to do it in 17 different states at once?
316
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:30,977
Um, actually, I don't think I want that.
317
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:36,316
I'm sorry. I'm-I'm... I'm gonna go.
318
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:40,690
- Wait, you didn't sleep with her?
- Nope.
319
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:45,719
I spent the night thinking about how everything
I've done since Quinn and I broke up...
320
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,096
has been a cry for help.
321
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,364
Dressing a dog up like me,
hooking up with all those nannies.
322
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,496
- Bro bibs?
- No, those are solid.
323
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,504
I still want in.
324
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,270
And I realized that I'm searching...
325
00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:00,937
searching for what I really want in life.
326
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:05,882
And you know what?
I have absolutely no idea what that is.
327
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,182
Wow. Barney...
328
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:12,815
But I'm going to figure it out.
329
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:14,381
I have to.
330
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,287
Good night, guys.
331
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:21,658
God, I feel awful.
332
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,826
Barney is going through something big...
333
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:28,999
and I've been obsessing about one stupid,
final hookup to get him out of my system.
334
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:34,102
He needs space and time
to figure things out.
335
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,045
And I have to give it to him.
336
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,517
Robin? What are you doing...
337
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,248
It's okay if you don't know
what you want in life...
338
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:48,221
as long as you know what you want...
339
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,284
tonight.
340
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:55,529
Well, I do know what I want.
341
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,668
Hi, Robin!
342
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:02,832
Nobody asked you here, Patrice!
343
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,504
Actually, I did, last night.
344
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:12,277
- Let me go see if the studio's open.
- Hmm. All right.
345
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,344
Oh, hi, Barney.
346
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:20,448
I'm working late.
What are you doing here?
347
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:24,321
I'm...
348
00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:26,762
I don't know what I'm doing... here.
349
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:32,432
Barney, I don't know you that well,
but are you okay?
350
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,699
Yeah. What do you mean?
351
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:38,140
Well, whenever I see someone unhappy,
I get the urge to give them cookies.
352
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,371
And I really wanna
give you cookies right now.
353
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:46,707
- Cookie?
- You're lame. No, thanks.
354
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,117
You sure? They're heart-shaped.
355
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,917
Sorry, a couple of them are broken.
356
00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:54,550
I know how they feel. I'd love one.
357
00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:58,619
After that, I sent Brandi packing,
and Patrice and I talked all night.
358
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:02,758
We're... kind of on a date right now.
359
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:06,395
But... if you'd like to throw on some
clothes and join us for crazy eights...
360
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:10,931
I can deal you in!
My deck has puppies on it! Arf, arf!
361
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:15,135
Um...
362
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,944
I gotta go.
363
00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:28,789
Look, I still feel bad I went too
far with all the Marvin firsts...
364
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,691
the Santa thing, especially.
365
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,286
I mean, I should have known.
366
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:33,797
Are you sure you guys forgive me?
367
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,992
- Don't worry. No grudges.
- Absolutely.
368
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,865
Great. Next round's on me.
369
00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:39,426
Mm-hmm.
370
00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:42,200
Coming, honey.
371
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,765
Okay, you guys have
all the numbers... my cell...
372
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:47,004
the restaurant, Center for Disease Control.
373
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,516
- She's with her Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall.
- Nothing's gonna happen.
374
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,483
You're right.
You're totally right.
375
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,453
- Okay.
- Bye, sweetie.
376
00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:59,388
- Here, you... Oh.
- Mmm.
377
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,459
- Get outta here, ya crazy.
- Would you get out of here already?
378
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:11,202
Who's ready to meet Santa? Yeah.
29989
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