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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,197
Kids, it's no secret...
2
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,709
your Uncle Barney is a bit of a dog.
3
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,705
And even though he loved me...
4
00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:09,742
I think he always wanted a wingman
who was a bit of a dog too.
5
00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:18,617
And in the fall of 2012...
6
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,387
he found one.
7
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:23,752
Respect.
8
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:47,543
Hey, guys, thanks again
for a great night last night.
9
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:51,106
I say again, great night.
10
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,748
Ted, honey...
11
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,788
it was not a great night.
12
00:00:55,855 --> 00:01:00,087
Ted, Lily and I noticed
some things last night.
13
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,492
- Hey, Ted, can you pass me a cracker?
- Yeah.
14
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,893
It's the least you can do...
15
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,804
considering I left a guy
at the altar for you.
16
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,493
Right? Right?
17
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,263
Oh, come on. That was a joke.
18
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:16,138
Women over 30 don't joke
when it comes to commitment.
19
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,609
Victoria is happy we're taking things slow.
20
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,173
Oh, oh. Honey, sweetie, baby.
21
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,945
No 32-year-old woman
is happy taking things slow.
22
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,316
- Mmm.
- Trust me.
23
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,150
Victoria's got friends from high school...
24
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,190
posting pictures
of second babies on Facebook.
25
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,225
- Mm-hmm.
- And you think girlfriend's all, like...
26
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,760
"Oh, let's just bone a bunch...
27
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,762
so I'm another year older
and still single."
28
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,593
- Bitch, please.
- Mmm.
29
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,897
Guys, I've got a new bro...
30
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,904
a bro that puts all other bros to shame.
31
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:48,839
The bitches love him.
32
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,741
He buries bones all day.
33
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:56,448
No one chases tail like him. Ow!
34
00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:59,509
Why aren't you guys laughing? Oh. Wait.
35
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,486
I probably should've led with this.
He's a dog.
36
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,223
I've named him Brover.
37
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,852
I'll go... Aah... fetch him.
38
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,996
Okay, I'm worried about Barney.
39
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,695
That breakup with Quinn
messed him up more than he let on.
40
00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:18,396
I think he's lonely.
41
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,065
That dude seems fine to me.
42
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,268
I love you so much, Brover.
43
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:30,112
Seriously, based on last night...
44
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:33,016
you and Victoria are headed for trouble.
45
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:37,614
So I got this kind of interesting job offer
to run a bakery in Denver.
46
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,887
That's too crazy though, right? Right?
47
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,257
Uh, yeah.
48
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,762
The high altitude would affect
the density of the pastries.
49
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,391
I mean, talk about half-baked.
50
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:50,698
Man, this is a great night.
51
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:55,104
That was Victoria asking you
to move to Denver with her.
52
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,770
What? Then why wouldn't she just
come right out and say what she wants?
53
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,142
Men.
54
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,443
It's like if there
weren't pickle jars to open...
55
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,245
and spiders to kill
and computers to back up...
56
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,377
- what would be their point?
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:13,120
Okay, when did Marshall
become a slightly more feminine you?
58
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,423
Look, Ted, it gets exhausting...
59
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,089
constantly giving people advice
they haven't asked for.
60
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,394
- So I'm training Marshall.
- Mm-hmm.
61
00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:25,165
My goal is to eventually say things
that are so sassy and wise...
62
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,173
that there is no possible response...
63
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:31,972
other than "mmm" or "mm-hmm."
64
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,276
And if this is a place where we can share
our dreams... I like to think that it is...
65
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:39,182
I hope someday to earn a...
66
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,480
"testify."
67
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,248
Ooh.
68
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,051
Look, Victoria and I are five months in...
69
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,556
and we're right where we should be.
70
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,616
All right? We're cosigning birthday cards.
71
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,787
We got toothbrushes at each other's places.
72
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:53,593
Foreplay is out the window.
I'm in, I'm out. I'm sleeping. It's great.
73
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,133
It's more than five months.
74
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,931
You guys dated before. That time counts.
75
00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,029
The clock doesn't reset to zero.
76
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,836
- It un-pauses from where you left off.
- Mm-hmm.
77
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,275
No way. No way. The clock resets.
78
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,142
Ohh.
79
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,807
So this is what you guys do? You invite
other couples over for dinner...
80
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,474
to judge them and feel superior?
81
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,178
Oh, grow up, Ted.
82
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,154
That's why any couple
invites anyone over ever.
83
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,356
Two scotches, both neat.
84
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,361
And if you've got some, uh, nuts,
this guy lost a couple.
85
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,728
Aha! Take the hit. Just take the hit.
86
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:29,563
Okay, this is a cry for help.
87
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,161
Can we invite Barney over
for dinner tonight?
88
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,918
But I was gonna make you a special meal...
89
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,034
to celebrate my show getting nominated
for a local area media award.
90
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,308
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention
Nick had a cable-access cooking show.
91
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,508
Chef Nick Padarutti uses...
92
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,984
all fresh, locally grown ingredients.
93
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:51,922
But don't think for a second
that means he's not a bad boy.
94
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,050
She runs on corn.
95
00:04:56,496 --> 00:05:03,766
♪ Nick, the Bad Boy Chef ♪
96
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:07,272
- I'm gonna invite him over for dinner.
- Okay, fine.
97
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,309
But you better make sure he has a ticket...
98
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:14,676
'cause it's all aboard the chow-chow train.
99
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,739
Honey, I know it's hard...
100
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,149
coming up with a signature
cooking catchphrase...
101
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:22,380
but I don't think that's it.
102
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,253
I know. But how do you compete with "bam"?
103
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,952
It just says it all.
104
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,594
- Hey, you.
- Hey.
105
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,598
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
106
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:38,330
Um, Lily and Marshall think I'm missing
all these hints you're dropping...
107
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,429
that you want a deeper commitment.
108
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,906
You'd just come right out
and tell me, right?
109
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:46,570
Totally. I think I can be
a little bit more direct than that.
110
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,170
Thank you.
111
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,543
Oh, hey.
112
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:54,985
I was cleaning my apartment today,
and I dug this up.
113
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,454
Should I keep this wedding dress...
114
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,458
or do you think I'll never,
ever need it again?
115
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:08,556
- So Lily and Marshall were right?
- Of course they're right.
116
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,864
When a girl jumps in your car
in a wedding dress...
117
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,337
you can't act surprised
to find out she wants to get married.
118
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:16,103
Besides, we dated before,
and that time counts.
119
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,109
We just hit "pause" on the clock.
120
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:21,078
See, a lot of really smart people
would argue the clock resets.
121
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,308
It un-pauses. Everybody knows that.
122
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,783
You know, Barney's a little late.
I hope he's okay.
123
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,480
Ah, he's fine. And I still don't think
he's crying out for help.
124
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,954
Well...
125
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,863
Sorry we're late.
We just came from the tailor.
126
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,364
Brover couldn't settle on a tie,
so I just bought them all.
127
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,991
You say no to that face.
128
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:51,105
There's a reason that you're not
a hundred percent in this with me, Ted.
129
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:54,146
- Something's holding us back.
- Well, what is it?
130
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,047
I think we've established
I'm not great at picking up on clues.
131
00:06:58,117 --> 00:06:59,641
Well, in this situation.
132
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:03,018
As a kid, I was known
as a bit of a detective.
133
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,319
In fact, when my friend's retainer
went missing...
134
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,552
the Mosby Boys were put
on the case, and it was...
135
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,492
The retainer was in the garbage.
136
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,496
The Mosby Boys were you, your sister...
137
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,964
and a neighborhood squirrel
you thought you had tamed.
138
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:16,968
I can't believe Squirrel-lock Holmes
turned on us like that.
139
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,936
Eight weeks of training down the drain.
140
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,802
You know how I know that, Ted?
141
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,103
Because we covered it
in the getting-to-know-you part...
142
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,144
of the relationship six years ago.
143
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,137
Six years.
144
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,807
Then... what's holding us back?
145
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:38,085
Call in the Mosby Boys, Ted.
146
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,717
Let me know if they crack the case.
147
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,492
Guys...
148
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:50,058
Brover is not only
the best bro I've ever had.
149
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,730
He's amazing with the ladies.
150
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:56,332
I'm sorry. Don't you think it's a little
pathetic to use a dog to pick up chicks?
151
00:07:56,409 --> 00:08:00,004
Sir, wingmanship is a two-way street.
152
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,910
If Brover meets a cutie...
153
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:06,509
I'll take the hit and chat up
the chubby lady friend.
154
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,588
Sometimes I'll be the jerk.
155
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:16,458
So Brover can swoop in and be the hero.
156
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,093
And like any good wingman...
157
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,929
I gather as much intel as I can
right up front.
158
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,628
- How old is your dog?
- She's five.
159
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,227
Oh.
160
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,636
- What's that in dog years?
- Like 35.
161
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,072
We're done here.
162
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,704
Well, you were right. Victoria says
something's holding us back...
163
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,872
and I don't have any idea what it is.
164
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,643
Any brilliant insights, Oprah?
165
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:38,911
Stedman?
166
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,885
Um, try Gayle.
167
00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:46,552
Marshall, I want you to take this one.
You're ready.
168
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,287
Oh. I don't know.
169
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:54,432
Oh, I do hear this little voice in the back
of my head trying to tell me something.
170
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,196
That's your inner goddess.
171
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,898
Listen to her. Channel her.
172
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:03,305
If Victoria quenches your thirst...
173
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,972
like a tall glass of sweet tea
on a hot July day...
174
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,345
- Marshall, why is she Southern?
- Don't let him break the connection.
175
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,249
Well, you got to make
an honest woman out of her.
176
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:16,186
- Okay, I'm leaving.
- But... But...
177
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,314
if not...
178
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,859
well, then, sugar...
179
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:25,557
you got to let that nightingale
spread her wings...
180
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:30,625
and soar to her own beautiful tomorrow.
181
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,568
Testify.
182
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,806
You guys are the worst.
183
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:45,373
Where am I?
184
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:49,215
Sorry.
185
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,680
Go for Barney.
186
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,249
Uh-huh.
187
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,618
I see.
188
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,355
Totally understood.
189
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,330
I'll do that.
190
00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:03,766
Great.
191
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,531
Thank you.
192
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:07,705
That was Brover's owner.
193
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:11,334
I guess while she was out of town,
he ran away from his kennel.
194
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:14,402
And now that she's back,
I have to return him.
195
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,074
- Mmm.
- Barney, I'm so sorry.
196
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,616
Oh, it's all good.
197
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,982
Um, excuse me for one moment.
198
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,722
I don't know.
199
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,768
Hey!
200
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,098
Barney! You...
201
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:42,236
No! No!
202
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,574
Oh!
203
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,380
Wha...
204
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,185
Victoria.
205
00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,748
Will you marry me?
206
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,555
Yes! Of course.
207
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,728
- There's just one thing.
- Anything. You name it.
208
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:14,967
You can't be friends with Robin.
209
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,947
You won't marry me
if I'm still friends with Robin?
210
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,247
Wait. She's the thing
that's been holding us back?
211
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,617
There's just too much history there.
212
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,681
I mean, Robin's the reason
that we broke up the first time around.
213
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,316
Robin's our roadblock.
214
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:38,989
Robin's the deep, dark pit
where our relationship goes to die.
215
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,499
But nicest girl in the world,
salt of the earth.
216
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,194
But she's with Nick now.
217
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:47,228
I mean, sure, his cooking show is lousy
with awkward catchphrase attempts.
218
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,503
Oh, my gosh! Who's ready to nosh?
219
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,635
Who's poppin' a chub for some grub?
220
00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,141
I offer my deepest apologies...
221
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,344
to anyone who was offended
by my "poppin' a chub" remark.
222
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:03,388
I can and will do better.
Won't happen again.
223
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,289
And now, who's ready to eat my meat?
224
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,155
Oh, come on.
225
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,219
But Robin's happy with Nick...
226
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,492
and I'm happy with you.
227
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,660
Look, I... I just asked you to be my wife.
228
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,671
Isn't that proof there's nothing
between me and Robin?
229
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,902
Well, maybe today there isn't,
but what about tomorrow?
230
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,535
Or next week? Or 15 years from now?
231
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,205
I'll always be wondering.
232
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:32,216
I never wanted to be that girl who says...
233
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,218
"It's Robin or it's me."
234
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:37,153
But, well...
235
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,825
It's Robin or it's you.
236
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,123
You've been a hell of a wingman.
237
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:49,065
And even though I think it's kind of gross
when you pleasure yourself orally...
238
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:52,127
don't ever think that means
I'm not impressed.
239
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,965
Hey, do you think that Barney's
gonna be okay bringing Brover back?
240
00:12:58,043 --> 00:12:59,533
Yeah, he'll be fine.
241
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,343
It's not just the ability
to go to town on yourself...
242
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:06,441
but you do it with such joie de vivre.
243
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,044
I really think that I should go with him.
244
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:13,057
No, but you gotta eat these crepes
as soon as they're flambéed.
245
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,992
They're gonna be... bon appé-sweet!
246
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,585
- No.
- Damn.
247
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,961
- We'll work on it when I get back.
- No, I get it.
248
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,829
You know,
I only spent all night working on these.
249
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,425
But hey, Barney's more important.
250
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,834
- Nick...
- It's fine. Go.
251
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,130
Anyway, let's not make a big deal of it.
252
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,575
We hung out for a few days, had some fun.
253
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,340
No big woof.
254
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:39,547
I don't know who I am without you!
255
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,254
This is crazy.
256
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,519
Victoria is being
completely unreasonable about Robin.
257
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,857
And my snap sister is gonna back me up.
258
00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,727
I say again...
259
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,764
I kind of see Victoria's point.
260
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,705
- Come again for Miss Fudge?
- Ted and Robin have so much history.
261
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,766
Exactly. History. Ancient history.
262
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,211
Ted, you said "I love you"
to her earlier this year.
263
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:12,273
I'm not saying this is fair,
but... I get it.
264
00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,615
I didn't get that at all.
265
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,213
How could my inner goddess be so far off?
266
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:21,748
Oh, you'll get there, honey.
Oprah wasn't built in a day.
267
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:24,588
Uh-oh.
268
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,724
- What?
- I kind of went rogue.
269
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:32,999
Look, if you really wanna have a baby,
just stop taking the pill.
270
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,132
You guys slept together
at spring break three years ago.
271
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,102
That means something.
272
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,272
Loves show tunes, total shopaholic...
273
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,282
not always pestering you for sex.
274
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,980
Um, Clifford sounds like a keeper.
275
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,246
Marshall, all of that advice was terrible.
276
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,349
Not as terrible as you saying that
Ted and Robin should stop being friends.
277
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,327
I'm not saying they should.
It would be horrible.
278
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:01,025
But if Ted really wants
to be with Victoria...
279
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,436
Ted, tell her that you're not
gonna stop being friends with Robin.
280
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,604
I can't imagine life without Robin.
281
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,874
But she'll never be in love with me.
282
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,642
She'll never be my wife.
283
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:20,173
She'll never be the person I grow old with.
284
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,686
Victoria...
285
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,383
Victoria could be.
286
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,555
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
287
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,406
You ready to say good-bye?
288
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,466
Thanks for coming with me.
289
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:49,241
Aw, well, you did the same for me back
when I had to give away all my dogs.
290
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:50,247
Remember?
291
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,806
- Oh, yeah.
- Mmm.
292
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,647
We drove to your aunt's farm upstate.
293
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,584
- She was awesome.
- Yeah.
294
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:59,181
I love how she was this wise, old,
chilled-out, lesbian farmer.
295
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,783
Wha... No, no, no. She's not a lesbian.
296
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,522
Nor does she farm them. No.
297
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,860
That woman she lives with,
that's just her special friend, Maureen.
298
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,695
They've lived together for...
299
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,397
Oh.
300
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,605
Oh, this is gonna be tough.
301
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,269
Brover really was the best wingman ever.
302
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:28,179
Oh, my God.
303
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:31,347
Thank you so much for bringing
Mr. Sprinkles back.
304
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,118
Mr. Sprinkles?
305
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,160
Is a great name for a dog.
306
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:38,458
Mommy missed you so much. Yes, she did.
307
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,397
Did this nice couple take care of you?
308
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,196
Oh, uh...
309
00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:48,069
That's a laugh. Ha! Ha-ha-ha. Big bro. Ah!
310
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,835
I gotta split, yeah.
311
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,103
I gotta... I gotta head back to the farm...
312
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,146
uh, where I live with my special friend,
Maureen.
313
00:16:55,214 --> 00:17:00,277
Yeah. Whom I now realize
is my lesbian life partner.
314
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,979
Surprise.
315
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,420
Okay. All right.
316
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,825
So, would you like a drink?
317
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:14,063
Best wingman ever.
318
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,633
Hey.
319
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,699
What's all this?
I thought you were mad at me.
320
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,507
I was. But then I realized...
321
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,139
I just have to accept that
you have close guy friends.
322
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,807
I mean, I don't want it becoming a habit...
323
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,284
that they steal you away from me
in the middle of the night.
324
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:35,843
But...
325
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,479
Oh. Sorry.
326
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,852
Oh, Ted needs to see me.
327
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:43,121
- Oh, for the love of God, woman.
- Oh, it's not what you think.
328
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,322
He just wants to have sex.
329
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,661
Kidding.
330
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,930
Just a little hand stuff.
Whoop. Kidding again.
331
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:54,029
Ted's more of a boob man.
I seriously can't stop.
332
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:59,043
- What does he want?
- Um... Uh, I don't know, but he says it's urgent.
333
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:00,934
I'm so sorry.
334
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,675
Just one more little steal-away.
335
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,649
Just as long as he gives you back.
336
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,116
Mmm.
337
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,642
Thanks.
338
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,801
♪ I wanna sit you down and talk ♪
339
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,773
♪♪ So, are you okay?
340
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,471
What is this big, urgent thing
that couldn't wait till tomorrow?
341
00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,848
There's something I have to tell you.
342
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:42,012
Um... I've thought about this a ton...
343
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,645
and, um...
344
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,818
I was hoping it wouldn't come to this.
345
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,087
But...
346
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:55,566
I'm not in love with Robin.
347
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,465
Um...
348
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,937
But she's like family to me, and, uh...
349
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:02,837
I can't end that.
350
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,398
So...
351
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,340
can you accept that?
352
00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:12,874
♪ Low rising, oh ♪
353
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:16,682
♪ For the love of you ♪ ♪
354
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,588
I really hope you get her someday.
355
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,739
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
356
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:41,870
So... last night,
Ted calls me out to the bar...
357
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,438
to talk about something urgent.
358
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,040
Guess what it was.
359
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:50,782
He wants to write a series
of young-adult mystery novels...
360
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,586
called The Mosby Boys.
361
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,627
Why did you need to tell me that?
362
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,992
You work in the media. You know people.
363
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,088
Okay, well, first of all,
lose the Mosby nerds...
364
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,133
and focus on that crime-solving squirrel.
365
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,725
That guy is gold.
366
00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:06,168
And secondly, next time you have
a big idea late at night...
367
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,172
please bug your girlfriend about it.
368
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,767
Uh, actually, Victoria and I broke up.
369
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,141
Oh, my God.
370
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,113
Why? What... What happened?
371
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,981
We just...
You know, wanted different things.
372
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,250
I'm so sorry, buddy.
373
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,348
But bright side...
374
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,552
Robin is gonna be so touched...
375
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:31,255
when she hears you
ended things with Victoria because of her.
376
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,922
She can never know.
377
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,523
Promise me Robin will never find out.
378
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:38,001
- I don't understand.
- Promise.
379
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,796
Promise.
380
00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:44,137
Of course Robin did find out.
381
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,502
But we'll get to that.
382
00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,628
So you do have balls!
383
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,359
Run!
28765
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