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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,197 Kids, it's no secret... 2 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,709 your Uncle Barney is a bit of a dog. 3 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,705 And even though he loved me... 4 00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:09,742 I think he always wanted a wingman who was a bit of a dog too. 5 00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:18,617 And in the fall of 2012... 6 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,387 he found one. 7 00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:23,752 Respect. 8 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:47,543 Hey, guys, thanks again for a great night last night. 9 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:51,106 I say again, great night. 10 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,748 Ted, honey... 11 00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,788 it was not a great night. 12 00:00:55,855 --> 00:01:00,087 Ted, Lily and I noticed some things last night. 13 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,492 - Hey, Ted, can you pass me a cracker? - Yeah. 14 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,893 It's the least you can do... 15 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,804 considering I left a guy at the altar for you. 16 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,493 Right? Right? 17 00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,263 Oh, come on. That was a joke. 18 00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:16,138 Women over 30 don't joke when it comes to commitment. 19 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,609 Victoria is happy we're taking things slow. 20 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,173 Oh, oh. Honey, sweetie, baby. 21 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,945 No 32-year-old woman is happy taking things slow. 22 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,316 - Mmm. - Trust me. 23 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,150 Victoria's got friends from high school... 24 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,190 posting pictures of second babies on Facebook. 25 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,225 - Mm-hmm. - And you think girlfriend's all, like... 26 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,760 "Oh, let's just bone a bunch... 27 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,762 so I'm another year older and still single." 28 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,593 - Bitch, please. - Mmm. 29 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,897 Guys, I've got a new bro... 30 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,904 a bro that puts all other bros to shame. 31 00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:48,839 The bitches love him. 32 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,741 He buries bones all day. 33 00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:56,448 No one chases tail like him. Ow! 34 00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:59,509 Why aren't you guys laughing? Oh. Wait. 35 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,486 I probably should've led with this. He's a dog. 36 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,223 I've named him Brover. 37 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,852 I'll go... Aah... fetch him. 38 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,996 Okay, I'm worried about Barney. 39 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,695 That breakup with Quinn messed him up more than he let on. 40 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:18,396 I think he's lonely. 41 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,065 That dude seems fine to me. 42 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,268 I love you so much, Brover. 43 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:30,112 Seriously, based on last night... 44 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:33,016 you and Victoria are headed for trouble. 45 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:37,614 So I got this kind of interesting job offer to run a bakery in Denver. 46 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,887 That's too crazy though, right? Right? 47 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,257 Uh, yeah. 48 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,762 The high altitude would affect the density of the pastries. 49 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,391 I mean, talk about half-baked. 50 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:50,698 Man, this is a great night. 51 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:55,104 That was Victoria asking you to move to Denver with her. 52 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,770 What? Then why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants? 53 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,142 Men. 54 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,443 It's like if there weren't pickle jars to open... 55 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,245 and spiders to kill and computers to back up... 56 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,377 - what would be their point? - Mm-hmm. 57 00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:13,120 Okay, when did Marshall become a slightly more feminine you? 58 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,423 Look, Ted, it gets exhausting... 59 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,089 constantly giving people advice they haven't asked for. 60 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,394 - So I'm training Marshall. - Mm-hmm. 61 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:25,165 My goal is to eventually say things that are so sassy and wise... 62 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:28,173 that there is no possible response... 63 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:31,972 other than "mmm" or "mm-hmm." 64 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,276 And if this is a place where we can share our dreams... I like to think that it is... 65 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:39,182 I hope someday to earn a... 66 00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,480 "testify." 67 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,248 Ooh. 68 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,051 Look, Victoria and I are five months in... 69 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:45,556 and we're right where we should be. 70 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,616 All right? We're cosigning birthday cards. 71 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,787 We got toothbrushes at each other's places. 72 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:53,593 Foreplay is out the window. I'm in, I'm out. I'm sleeping. It's great. 73 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,133 It's more than five months. 74 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,931 You guys dated before. That time counts. 75 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,029 The clock doesn't reset to zero. 76 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,836 - It un-pauses from where you left off. - Mm-hmm. 77 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,275 No way. No way. The clock resets. 78 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,142 Ohh. 79 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,807 So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner... 80 00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,474 to judge them and feel superior? 81 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,178 Oh, grow up, Ted. 82 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,154 That's why any couple invites anyone over ever. 83 00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,356 Two scotches, both neat. 84 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,361 And if you've got some, uh, nuts, this guy lost a couple. 85 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,728 Aha! Take the hit. Just take the hit. 86 00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:29,563 Okay, this is a cry for help. 87 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,161 Can we invite Barney over for dinner tonight? 88 00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,918 But I was gonna make you a special meal... 89 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,034 to celebrate my show getting nominated for a local area media award. 90 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,308 Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention Nick had a cable-access cooking show. 91 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,508 Chef Nick Padarutti uses... 92 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,984 all fresh, locally grown ingredients. 93 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:51,922 But don't think for a second that means he's not a bad boy. 94 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,050 She runs on corn. 95 00:04:56,496 --> 00:05:03,766 ♪ Nick, the Bad Boy Chef ♪ 96 00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:07,272 - I'm gonna invite him over for dinner. - Okay, fine. 97 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,309 But you better make sure he has a ticket... 98 00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:14,676 'cause it's all aboard the chow-chow train. 99 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,739 Honey, I know it's hard... 100 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,149 coming up with a signature cooking catchphrase... 101 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:22,380 but I don't think that's it. 102 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,253 I know. But how do you compete with "bam"? 103 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,952 It just says it all. 104 00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,594 - Hey, you. - Hey. 105 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,598 - Can I ask you something? - Yeah. 106 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:38,330 Um, Lily and Marshall think I'm missing all these hints you're dropping... 107 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,429 that you want a deeper commitment. 108 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,906 You'd just come right out and tell me, right? 109 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:46,570 Totally. I think I can be a little bit more direct than that. 110 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,170 Thank you. 111 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,543 Oh, hey. 112 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:54,985 I was cleaning my apartment today, and I dug this up. 113 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,454 Should I keep this wedding dress... 114 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,458 or do you think I'll never, ever need it again? 115 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:08,556 - So Lily and Marshall were right? - Of course they're right. 116 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,864 When a girl jumps in your car in a wedding dress... 117 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,337 you can't act surprised to find out she wants to get married. 118 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:16,103 Besides, we dated before, and that time counts. 119 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,109 We just hit "pause" on the clock. 120 00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:21,078 See, a lot of really smart people would argue the clock resets. 121 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,308 It un-pauses. Everybody knows that. 122 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,783 You know, Barney's a little late. I hope he's okay. 123 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,480 Ah, he's fine. And I still don't think he's crying out for help. 124 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,954 Well... 125 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,863 Sorry we're late. We just came from the tailor. 126 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,364 Brover couldn't settle on a tie, so I just bought them all. 127 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,991 You say no to that face. 128 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:51,105 There's a reason that you're not a hundred percent in this with me, Ted. 129 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:54,146 - Something's holding us back. - Well, what is it? 130 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,047 I think we've established I'm not great at picking up on clues. 131 00:06:58,117 --> 00:06:59,641 Well, in this situation. 132 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:03,018 As a kid, I was known as a bit of a detective. 133 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,319 In fact, when my friend's retainer went missing... 134 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,552 the Mosby Boys were put on the case, and it was... 135 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,492 The retainer was in the garbage. 136 00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,496 The Mosby Boys were you, your sister... 137 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,964 and a neighborhood squirrel you thought you had tamed. 138 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:16,968 I can't believe Squirrel-lock Holmes turned on us like that. 139 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,936 Eight weeks of training down the drain. 140 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,802 You know how I know that, Ted? 141 00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,103 Because we covered it in the getting-to-know-you part... 142 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,144 of the relationship six years ago. 143 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,137 Six years. 144 00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,807 Then... what's holding us back? 145 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:38,085 Call in the Mosby Boys, Ted. 146 00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,717 Let me know if they crack the case. 147 00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,492 Guys... 148 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:50,058 Brover is not only the best bro I've ever had. 149 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,730 He's amazing with the ladies. 150 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:56,332 I'm sorry. Don't you think it's a little pathetic to use a dog to pick up chicks? 151 00:07:56,409 --> 00:08:00,004 Sir, wingmanship is a two-way street. 152 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,910 If Brover meets a cutie... 153 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:06,509 I'll take the hit and chat up the chubby lady friend. 154 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,588 Sometimes I'll be the jerk. 155 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:16,458 So Brover can swoop in and be the hero. 156 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,093 And like any good wingman... 157 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,929 I gather as much intel as I can right up front. 158 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,628 - How old is your dog? - She's five. 159 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,227 Oh. 160 00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,636 - What's that in dog years? - Like 35. 161 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,072 We're done here. 162 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,704 Well, you were right. Victoria says something's holding us back... 163 00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,872 and I don't have any idea what it is. 164 00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,643 Any brilliant insights, Oprah? 165 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:38,911 Stedman? 166 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,885 Um, try Gayle. 167 00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:46,552 Marshall, I want you to take this one. You're ready. 168 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,287 Oh. I don't know. 169 00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:54,432 Oh, I do hear this little voice in the back of my head trying to tell me something. 170 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,196 That's your inner goddess. 171 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,898 Listen to her. Channel her. 172 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:03,305 If Victoria quenches your thirst... 173 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,972 like a tall glass of sweet tea on a hot July day... 174 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,345 - Marshall, why is she Southern? - Don't let him break the connection. 175 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,249 Well, you got to make an honest woman out of her. 176 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:16,186 - Okay, I'm leaving. - But... But... 177 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,314 if not... 178 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,859 well, then, sugar... 179 00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:25,557 you got to let that nightingale spread her wings... 180 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:30,625 and soar to her own beautiful tomorrow. 181 00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,568 Testify. 182 00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,806 You guys are the worst. 183 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:45,373 Where am I? 184 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:49,215 Sorry. 185 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,680 Go for Barney. 186 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,249 Uh-huh. 187 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,618 I see. 188 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,355 Totally understood. 189 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,330 I'll do that. 190 00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:03,766 Great. 191 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,531 Thank you. 192 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:07,705 That was Brover's owner. 193 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:11,334 I guess while she was out of town, he ran away from his kennel. 194 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:14,402 And now that she's back, I have to return him. 195 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,074 - Mmm. - Barney, I'm so sorry. 196 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,616 Oh, it's all good. 197 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,982 Um, excuse me for one moment. 198 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,722 I don't know. 199 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,768 Hey! 200 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,098 Barney! You... 201 00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:42,236 No! No! 202 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,574 Oh! 203 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,380 Wha... 204 00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,185 Victoria. 205 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,748 Will you marry me? 206 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,555 Yes! Of course. 207 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,728 - There's just one thing. - Anything. You name it. 208 00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:14,967 You can't be friends with Robin. 209 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,947 You won't marry me if I'm still friends with Robin? 210 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,247 Wait. She's the thing that's been holding us back? 211 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,617 There's just too much history there. 212 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,681 I mean, Robin's the reason that we broke up the first time around. 213 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,316 Robin's our roadblock. 214 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:38,989 Robin's the deep, dark pit where our relationship goes to die. 215 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,499 But nicest girl in the world, salt of the earth. 216 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,194 But she's with Nick now. 217 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:47,228 I mean, sure, his cooking show is lousy with awkward catchphrase attempts. 218 00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,503 Oh, my gosh! Who's ready to nosh? 219 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,635 Who's poppin' a chub for some grub? 220 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,141 I offer my deepest apologies... 221 00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,344 to anyone who was offended by my "poppin' a chub" remark. 222 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:03,388 I can and will do better. Won't happen again. 223 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,289 And now, who's ready to eat my meat? 224 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,155 Oh, come on. 225 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,219 But Robin's happy with Nick... 226 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,492 and I'm happy with you. 227 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,660 Look, I... I just asked you to be my wife. 228 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,671 Isn't that proof there's nothing between me and Robin? 229 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,902 Well, maybe today there isn't, but what about tomorrow? 230 00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,535 Or next week? Or 15 years from now? 231 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,205 I'll always be wondering. 232 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:32,216 I never wanted to be that girl who says... 233 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,218 "It's Robin or it's me." 234 00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:37,153 But, well... 235 00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,825 It's Robin or it's you. 236 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,123 You've been a hell of a wingman. 237 00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:49,065 And even though I think it's kind of gross when you pleasure yourself orally... 238 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:52,127 don't ever think that means I'm not impressed. 239 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,965 Hey, do you think that Barney's gonna be okay bringing Brover back? 240 00:12:58,043 --> 00:12:59,533 Yeah, he'll be fine. 241 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,343 It's not just the ability to go to town on yourself... 242 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:06,441 but you do it with such joie de vivre. 243 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,044 I really think that I should go with him. 244 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:13,057 No, but you gotta eat these crepes as soon as they're flambéed. 245 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,992 They're gonna be... bon appé-sweet! 246 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,585 - No. - Damn. 247 00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,961 - We'll work on it when I get back. - No, I get it. 248 00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,829 You know, I only spent all night working on these. 249 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,425 But hey, Barney's more important. 250 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,834 - Nick... - It's fine. Go. 251 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,130 Anyway, let's not make a big deal of it. 252 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:32,575 We hung out for a few days, had some fun. 253 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,340 No big woof. 254 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:39,547 I don't know who I am without you! 255 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,254 This is crazy. 256 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,519 Victoria is being completely unreasonable about Robin. 257 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,857 And my snap sister is gonna back me up. 258 00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,727 I say again... 259 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,764 I kind of see Victoria's point. 260 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,705 - Come again for Miss Fudge? - Ted and Robin have so much history. 261 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,766 Exactly. History. Ancient history. 262 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,211 Ted, you said "I love you" to her earlier this year. 263 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:12,273 I'm not saying this is fair, but... I get it. 264 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,615 I didn't get that at all. 265 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,213 How could my inner goddess be so far off? 266 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:21,748 Oh, you'll get there, honey. Oprah wasn't built in a day. 267 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:24,588 Uh-oh. 268 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,724 - What? - I kind of went rogue. 269 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:32,999 Look, if you really wanna have a baby, just stop taking the pill. 270 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,132 You guys slept together at spring break three years ago. 271 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,102 That means something. 272 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,272 Loves show tunes, total shopaholic... 273 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,282 not always pestering you for sex. 274 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,980 Um, Clifford sounds like a keeper. 275 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,246 Marshall, all of that advice was terrible. 276 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,349 Not as terrible as you saying that Ted and Robin should stop being friends. 277 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,327 I'm not saying they should. It would be horrible. 278 00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:01,025 But if Ted really wants to be with Victoria... 279 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,436 Ted, tell her that you're not gonna stop being friends with Robin. 280 00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,604 I can't imagine life without Robin. 281 00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,874 But she'll never be in love with me. 282 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,642 She'll never be my wife. 283 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:20,173 She'll never be the person I grow old with. 284 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,686 Victoria... 285 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,383 Victoria could be. 286 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,555 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 287 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,406 You ready to say good-bye? 288 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,466 Thanks for coming with me. 289 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:49,241 Aw, well, you did the same for me back when I had to give away all my dogs. 290 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:50,247 Remember? 291 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,806 - Oh, yeah. - Mmm. 292 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,647 We drove to your aunt's farm upstate. 293 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,584 - She was awesome. - Yeah. 294 00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:59,181 I love how she was this wise, old, chilled-out, lesbian farmer. 295 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,783 Wha... No, no, no. She's not a lesbian. 296 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,522 Nor does she farm them. No. 297 00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,860 That woman she lives with, that's just her special friend, Maureen. 298 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,695 They've lived together for... 299 00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,397 Oh. 300 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,605 Oh, this is gonna be tough. 301 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,269 Brover really was the best wingman ever. 302 00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:28,179 Oh, my God. 303 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:31,347 Thank you so much for bringing Mr. Sprinkles back. 304 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,118 Mr. Sprinkles? 305 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,160 Is a great name for a dog. 306 00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:38,458 Mommy missed you so much. Yes, she did. 307 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,397 Did this nice couple take care of you? 308 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,196 Oh, uh... 309 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:48,069 That's a laugh. Ha! Ha-ha-ha. Big bro. Ah! 310 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,835 I gotta split, yeah. 311 00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,103 I gotta... I gotta head back to the farm... 312 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,146 uh, where I live with my special friend, Maureen. 313 00:16:55,214 --> 00:17:00,277 Yeah. Whom I now realize is my lesbian life partner. 314 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,979 Surprise. 315 00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,420 Okay. All right. 316 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,825 So, would you like a drink? 317 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:14,063 Best wingman ever. 318 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,633 Hey. 319 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,699 What's all this? I thought you were mad at me. 320 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,507 I was. But then I realized... 321 00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,139 I just have to accept that you have close guy friends. 322 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,807 I mean, I don't want it becoming a habit... 323 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,284 that they steal you away from me in the middle of the night. 324 00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:35,843 But... 325 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,479 Oh. Sorry. 326 00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,852 Oh, Ted needs to see me. 327 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:43,121 - Oh, for the love of God, woman. - Oh, it's not what you think. 328 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,322 He just wants to have sex. 329 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,661 Kidding. 330 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,930 Just a little hand stuff. Whoop. Kidding again. 331 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:54,029 Ted's more of a boob man. I seriously can't stop. 332 00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:59,043 - What does he want? - Um... Uh, I don't know, but he says it's urgent. 333 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:00,934 I'm so sorry. 334 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,675 Just one more little steal-away. 335 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,649 Just as long as he gives you back. 336 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,116 Mmm. 337 00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,642 Thanks. 338 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,801 ♪ I wanna sit you down and talk ♪ 339 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,773 ♪♪ So, are you okay? 340 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,471 What is this big, urgent thing that couldn't wait till tomorrow? 341 00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,848 There's something I have to tell you. 342 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:42,012 Um... I've thought about this a ton... 343 00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,645 and, um... 344 00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,818 I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. 345 00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,087 But... 346 00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:55,566 I'm not in love with Robin. 347 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,465 Um... 348 00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,937 But she's like family to me, and, uh... 349 00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:02,837 I can't end that. 350 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,398 So... 351 00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,340 can you accept that? 352 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:12,874 ♪ Low rising, oh ♪ 353 00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:16,682 ♪ For the love of you ♪ ♪ 354 00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,588 I really hope you get her someday. 355 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,739 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 356 00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:41,870 So... last night, Ted calls me out to the bar... 357 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,438 to talk about something urgent. 358 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,040 Guess what it was. 359 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:50,782 He wants to write a series of young-adult mystery novels... 360 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,586 called The Mosby Boys. 361 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,627 Why did you need to tell me that? 362 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,992 You work in the media. You know people. 363 00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,088 Okay, well, first of all, lose the Mosby nerds... 364 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,133 and focus on that crime-solving squirrel. 365 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,725 That guy is gold. 366 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:06,168 And secondly, next time you have a big idea late at night... 367 00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,172 please bug your girlfriend about it. 368 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,767 Uh, actually, Victoria and I broke up. 369 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,141 Oh, my God. 370 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,113 Why? What... What happened? 371 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,981 We just... You know, wanted different things. 372 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,250 I'm so sorry, buddy. 373 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,348 But bright side... 374 00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,552 Robin is gonna be so touched... 375 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:31,255 when she hears you ended things with Victoria because of her. 376 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,922 She can never know. 377 00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,523 Promise me Robin will never find out. 378 00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:38,001 - I don't understand. - Promise. 379 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,796 Promise. 380 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:44,137 Of course Robin did find out. 381 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,502 But we'll get to that. 382 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,628 So you do have balls! 383 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,359 Run! 28765

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