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1
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The communion of saints...
2
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:22,404
forgiveness of sins, the
resurrection of the body...
3
00:02:22,473 --> 00:02:24,406
and life everlasting.
4
00:02:24,473 --> 00:02:26,769
Amen.
5
00:02:26,839 --> 00:02:28,830
Let us pray.
6
00:02:30,808 --> 00:02:33,240
Lord, have mercy upon us.
7
00:02:33,308 --> 00:02:35,240
Christ, have mercy upon us.
8
00:02:35,309 --> 00:02:37,638
Lord, have mercy upon us.
Amen.
9
00:02:37,709 --> 00:02:39,902
Our Father.
10
00:02:39,975 --> 00:02:42,203
Our Father, which art
in heaven, hallowed...
11
00:02:42,276 --> 00:02:45,207
Dear God, there's something
I want to ask you.
12
00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:47,207
Of course you know what it is...
13
00:02:47,276 --> 00:02:50,208
because you know everything that's
going to happen before it happens...
14
00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:52,708
so there's really
no need to ask you.
15
00:02:52,776 --> 00:02:55,208
But I thought I'd ask
you in any case.
16
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,709
Now, you know that I believe in you.
17
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:01,006
But I was wondering if you could
give me just a little sign.
18
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:09,745
I mean, I'm not saying that if
you don't give me the sign...
19
00:03:09,812 --> 00:03:13,141
that I won't believe in you... I'm not
threatening you or anything like that.
20
00:03:13,211 --> 00:03:16,144
But please, please give
me enough courage...
21
00:03:16,212 --> 00:03:19,269
to speak to Margaret Spencer
and get to know her.
22
00:03:19,345 --> 00:03:22,436
O God, make clean our
hearts within us.
23
00:03:22,512 --> 00:03:25,273
And take not thy
holy spirit from us.
24
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,595
Miss Spencer...
25
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:35,336
I wonder if I could
have a word with you.
26
00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:37,312
There's something
I've got to tell you...
27
00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:40,642
something I've got to
bring out into the open.
28
00:03:40,714 --> 00:03:43,146
I've been bottling it up
inside me too long...
29
00:03:43,214 --> 00:03:46,839
and there's no point
in hiding it anymore.
30
00:03:46,915 --> 00:03:50,348
For six years now, ever since
you came to Wimpy's...
31
00:03:50,416 --> 00:03:53,280
I've been in love with you.
32
00:03:53,348 --> 00:03:56,144
I only live to hear your voice.
33
00:03:56,216 --> 00:03:59,579
One cheeseburger, one shanty,
one portion french fries.
34
00:03:59,650 --> 00:04:01,582
Each time you speak...
35
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:05,776
it's like a thousand violins
playing in the halls of heaven.
36
00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:07,817
I-I love you, Miss Spencer.
37
00:04:07,884 --> 00:04:11,111
I love everything about you...
38
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:15,948
the way you walk, your sweet
smile, your easy grace and charm.
39
00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:19,849
Wimpy Burgers twice, one M.R.,
one well, heavy on the onions.
40
00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:23,442
I wish I could take you
away from all this.
41
00:04:23,518 --> 00:04:26,110
I'd like us to start a
new life together...
42
00:04:26,186 --> 00:04:30,449
a little house of our own, a car,
the two of us against the world...
43
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:33,314
joined forevermore in holy wedlock.
44
00:04:39,469 --> 00:04:40,647
Miss Spencer!
45
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,147
What?
46
00:04:47,559 --> 00:04:49,197
Nothing.
47
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:28,758
Good evening.
48
00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:31,517
I couldn't help noticing that you were
making an unsuccessful suicide bid.
49
00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:34,855
What are you doing in my room?
What do you want?
I'm here to help you, Mr. Moon.
50
00:05:34,926 --> 00:05:38,086
- I don't want any help. Please go away.
- Oh, all right.
51
00:05:38,159 --> 00:05:41,456
I just thought you might be interested
in a little matter of a million pounds.
52
00:05:41,527 --> 00:05:43,117
A million pounds?
53
00:05:46,594 --> 00:05:49,024
Don't let me interfere with
your doing away with yourself.
54
00:05:49,093 --> 00:05:51,025
What's this about a million pounds?
55
00:05:51,093 --> 00:05:53,025
- May I come in?
- Yes, please do.
56
00:05:53,093 --> 00:05:56,185
Thank you. I wonder if you'd
mind taking my cloak.
57
00:05:57,260 --> 00:05:59,749
Hang it somewhere dry, would you.
58
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,487
- Might I sit down?
- Oh. Do.
59
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,494
Thank you.
60
00:06:05,562 --> 00:06:08,857
- It's a very nasty little place you've got here.
- Oh. Thank you.
61
00:06:08,928 --> 00:06:10,861
What's this about a million pounds?
62
00:06:10,928 --> 00:06:12,861
Oh, a million pounds, yes.
63
00:06:12,928 --> 00:06:14,987
You remember your
great-great-great-grandfather?
64
00:06:15,063 --> 00:06:17,290
Well, I never even met my father.
65
00:06:17,362 --> 00:06:20,352
- How very sad.
- Excuse me.
66
00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:26,062
In all events, your great-great-great-
grandfather, Ephraim Moon...
67
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:29,063
sailed for Australia in
1782 on a ship of the line.
68
00:06:29,131 --> 00:06:31,427
Set himself up as an apothecary.
69
00:06:31,498 --> 00:06:33,430
The business flourished...
70
00:06:33,498 --> 00:06:36,431
and by the time he died it was worth
something in the region of £2,000.
71
00:06:36,499 --> 00:06:38,760
A large amount in those days.
Yes.
72
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:41,263
Your great-great-grandfather,
Cedric Moon...
73
00:06:41,332 --> 00:06:43,764
by skillful management
and careful husbandry...
74
00:06:43,831 --> 00:06:45,765
increased that sum a hundredfold.
75
00:06:45,831 --> 00:06:49,424
This, in turn, was inherited by your
great-grandfather, Desmond Moon...
76
00:06:49,499 --> 00:06:51,761
who expanded, diversified...
77
00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:56,926
and built up a personal fortune
of well over a million pounds.
78
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,829
Oh. That's a lot of money.
79
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:01,627
A great deal of money, Mr. Moon.
80
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:04,258
And this gigantic sum...
81
00:07:04,334 --> 00:07:07,596
was inherited by your
grandfather, Hubert Moon...
82
00:07:07,668 --> 00:07:11,430
who returned to London and frittered it
away on wine, women and loose living.
83
00:07:13,569 --> 00:07:16,091
Uh, where does that leave me then?
84
00:07:16,168 --> 00:07:19,397
Penniless and on the
brink of suicide.
85
00:07:23,069 --> 00:07:26,000
You get out of here
before I call the police.
86
00:07:26,069 --> 00:07:28,000
Before you call the what?
The police.
87
00:07:28,069 --> 00:07:31,001
You realize that suicide
is a criminal offense.
88
00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:34,059
In less enlightened times
they'd have hung you for it.
89
00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:38,169
Look, exactly what do you want?
90
00:07:38,236 --> 00:07:41,168
I told you.
Seriously, I want to help you.
91
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:44,169
Unburden yourself. It does you
good to share your problems.
92
00:07:44,237 --> 00:07:47,170
What interest is it to you?
93
00:07:47,238 --> 00:07:50,399
Please go away!
I'm interested in everybody.
94
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:53,598
Please tell me. What drove
you to this desperate act?
95
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,105
All right, I'll tell you.
I'm miserable.
96
00:07:56,172 --> 00:07:59,104
I've got a boring job, no
money, no prospects...
97
00:07:59,171 --> 00:08:03,605
I haven't got a girlfriend, I can't get to know
anyone, no one wants to get to know me...
98
00:08:03,673 --> 00:08:05,605
and everything is hopeless.
99
00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:07,605
All right? Satisfied?
100
00:08:07,673 --> 00:08:10,697
And if you really want to help me,
you can get me a sock for this pipe.
101
00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:14,138
Oh, yes. They're in the top
left-hand drawer, aren't they?
Yeah.
102
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:16,538
But suicide, Mr. Moon?
103
00:08:16,608 --> 00:08:18,539
Really, really, really.
104
00:08:18,608 --> 00:08:20,539
That's the last thing you should do.
105
00:08:20,608 --> 00:08:23,541
Don't you think it's
taking the easy way out?
106
00:08:23,608 --> 00:08:25,541
Easy way out?
107
00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:27,541
What's easy about it?
108
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,040
Look. The bleedin' pipe's broken.
109
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,041
Can't even manage to kill myself.
110
00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:35,040
Let's face it, Mr. Moon...
you're a complete failure.
111
00:08:35,108 --> 00:08:37,440
Yes... Oh.
112
00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:39,443
I'll fix that.
113
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:42,101
You know that million
pounds I mentioned?
114
00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:44,109
Yes?
I wasn't joking.
115
00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:46,336
I could give you that and more.
116
00:08:46,411 --> 00:08:48,842
Everything you've ever seen
in the advertisements...
117
00:08:48,911 --> 00:08:50,843
fast, white convertibles...
118
00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:53,842
blonde women, their hair
trailing in the wind...
119
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:55,843
wafer-thin after-dinner chocolates.
120
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:58,536
If you had all that, would
you be any happier?
121
00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:00,634
What are you on about?
122
00:09:00,711 --> 00:09:03,577
Would the words Prince of
Darkness mean anything to you?
123
00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:06,544
Beelzebub? Mephistopheles?
The horned one?
124
00:09:08,746 --> 00:09:10,678
I know. You've escaped
from somewhere.
125
00:09:10,746 --> 00:09:12,678
No, I haven't, Mr. Moon.
126
00:09:12,746 --> 00:09:16,475
I'm the horned one, the devil.
Let me give you my card.
127
00:09:19,747 --> 00:09:22,042
Oh, yes, the devil. Of course.
128
00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:24,046
Silly old me.
129
00:09:24,114 --> 00:09:26,910
Cor blimey!
I left my hankie at Wimpy's.
130
00:09:26,981 --> 00:09:30,141
I wonder if you'll excuse me.
Don't rush away, Mr. Moon.
131
00:09:30,215 --> 00:09:32,511
You're a nutcase.
You're a bleedin' nutcase.
132
00:09:32,582 --> 00:09:35,309
They said the same of Jesus
Christ, Freud and Galileo.
133
00:09:35,381 --> 00:09:37,348
They said it of a lot
of nutcases too.
134
00:09:37,417 --> 00:09:40,348
You're not as stupid as you
look, are you, Mr. Moon?
135
00:09:40,415 --> 00:09:43,577
What can I do to convince
you that I'm the devil?
136
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,581
Supposing I granted you your
dearest wish here and now?
137
00:09:46,649 --> 00:09:48,772
What about that girl at Wimpy's?
138
00:09:48,848 --> 00:09:51,476
Margaret Spencer?
Yes.
139
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,481
How do you know about her?
140
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:55,983
And how do you know
so much about me...
141
00:09:56,052 --> 00:09:57,984
where my socks are and
who my grandfather was?
142
00:09:58,052 --> 00:10:00,676
I told you.
I've been taking an interest in you.
143
00:10:00,751 --> 00:10:03,480
Look, well, supposing I, um...
144
00:10:03,552 --> 00:10:05,483
gave you a trial wish.
145
00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:07,982
No obligation on your part.
Just to get acquainted.
146
00:10:08,051 --> 00:10:10,813
Is there anything in the
world you really desire?
147
00:10:10,885 --> 00:10:12,850
Margaret Spen...
Aside from Margaret Spencer.
148
00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:15,509
We'll save her till later, when
you sign. Anything else?
149
00:10:15,585 --> 00:10:20,018
Um... a Frobisher and Gleason
raspberry-flavored ice lolly.
150
00:10:20,085 --> 00:10:22,018
Very well, Mr. Moon.
151
00:10:22,086 --> 00:10:25,382
Conclusively to prove that
I am indeed the unholy one...
152
00:10:25,453 --> 00:10:28,112
a Frobisher and Gleason
raspberry-flavored ice lolly...
153
00:10:28,186 --> 00:10:30,119
shall be yours...
154
00:10:30,187 --> 00:10:32,176
in a trice.
155
00:10:39,121 --> 00:10:42,053
Here you are.
Thank you.
156
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,054
Oh, um, have you got sixpence?
157
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,644
I've only got a million-pound note.
158
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,653
- Thank you.
- Ta.
159
00:10:48,721 --> 00:10:51,211
Convinced?
Do me a favor.
160
00:10:51,289 --> 00:10:53,222
I could have done that myself.
161
00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:55,278
I thought you were
gonna conjure it up.
162
00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:58,948
You're just like all the rest, aren't you?
No proof is good enough.
163
00:10:59,023 --> 00:11:01,045
I want a miracle.
164
00:11:01,123 --> 00:11:03,056
A rain of toads or something.
165
00:11:03,124 --> 00:11:06,555
All right then. Which of the
cheap tricks is it gonna be?
166
00:11:06,623 --> 00:11:09,055
Wine into water?
Stick into serpent?
167
00:11:09,124 --> 00:11:11,955
How about flying through
space at the speed of light?
168
00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:15,547
How about you checking in to the nearest
loony bin for a few weeks' holiday?
169
00:11:15,624 --> 00:11:18,058
O ye of little faith, Moon.
170
00:11:18,127 --> 00:11:20,455
You're not wearing nylon
underwear, are you?
171
00:11:20,524 --> 00:11:23,014
Why?
It disintegrates at high speeds.
172
00:11:23,092 --> 00:11:25,025
Prepare yourself.
173
00:11:25,092 --> 00:11:26,887
The magic words: I.B.J.
174
00:11:29,025 --> 00:11:31,288
Here, my ice lolly's melted.
175
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,625
You really must be the devil.
176
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:37,682
Incarnate. How do you do?
Oh. How do you do?
177
00:11:44,129 --> 00:11:46,117
Where are we? Is this hell?
178
00:11:46,195 --> 00:11:47,989
Just my London headquarters.
179
00:11:48,928 --> 00:11:51,087
That's not your name, is it?
180
00:11:51,162 --> 00:11:54,128
George Spiggott?
181
00:11:54,195 --> 00:11:57,355
Come on in. It's one of my many
earthly pseudoplumes, or nom de nyms.
182
00:11:57,429 --> 00:11:59,360
I thought you were called Lucifer.
183
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:01,860
I know. The Bringer of the
Light, it used to be.
184
00:12:01,928 --> 00:12:03,553
Sounded a bit pouffy to me.
185
00:12:03,628 --> 00:12:05,561
God keeps changing his
name too, you know.
186
00:12:05,628 --> 00:12:07,562
He used to be called the Word.
187
00:12:07,629 --> 00:12:10,563
Yeah."ln the beginning was the Word."
"And the Word was God."
188
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,562
Was there just a word
hanging about in space then?
I suppose so.
189
00:12:13,629 --> 00:12:15,562
I wasn't there.
190
00:12:15,629 --> 00:12:18,358
What's it mean,"the Word"?
What does"Stanley Moon" mean?
191
00:12:18,431 --> 00:12:20,420
Evening, Anger.
192
00:12:25,031 --> 00:12:27,963
It's all right, Anger.
He's with me.
193
00:12:28,031 --> 00:12:29,964
Come in, Mr. Moon.
194
00:12:30,032 --> 00:12:32,964
I'd like you to meet Anger.
He works for me.
195
00:12:33,032 --> 00:12:35,190
How do you do?
Pleased to meet you.
196
00:12:35,265 --> 00:12:37,494
Watch it, that's all.
197
00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:42,398
This is the, uh, Club Room.
198
00:12:42,466 --> 00:12:46,297
It's, uh, quite nicely decorated
and painted. Early Hitler.
199
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,299
Now, what about my
little proposition?
200
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,696
All I want from you is something you
probably don't even realize you have.
201
00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:53,699
I'm talking about your soul.
202
00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:55,698
My soul?
Yes.
203
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:57,699
Like you collect moths...
204
00:12:57,768 --> 00:12:59,700
I collect souls.
205
00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:02,700
I'd like to add yours
to my collection.
206
00:13:02,768 --> 00:13:05,634
What are you doing?
Just a bit of routine mischief.
207
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,668
Now, then, what about your soul?
208
00:13:07,736 --> 00:13:12,065
Well, uh, I don't know where it
is or how to get hold of it.
209
00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:14,068
Exactly.
210
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:18,194
And all I want from you is the exclusive
global and universal rights to it.
211
00:13:19,336 --> 00:13:21,495
But if you took it
out, wouldn't it hurt?
212
00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:23,502
It's a painless operation.
213
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,968
And afterwards, you
won't feel a thing.
214
00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:28,060
Besides, it's been no earthly
good to you, has it?
215
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:29,899
Like to look at the contract?
Yes, please.
216
00:13:29,970 --> 00:13:31,904
There we are.
217
00:13:31,972 --> 00:13:35,563
Your soul's rather like your appendix...
totally expendable.
218
00:13:35,638 --> 00:13:38,071
There was a time when it
did have a function...
219
00:13:38,139 --> 00:13:42,571
but nowadays the vast majority
of people never use it.
220
00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:45,071
Looks a bit complicated.
221
00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:47,071
It's a standard contract.
222
00:13:47,139 --> 00:13:50,071
Gives you seven wishes in accordance
with the mystic rules of life...
223
00:13:50,138 --> 00:13:54,572
seven days of the week, seven deadly sins,
seven seas, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
224
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,571
Look, if you're not interested...
225
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,630
I'm sure there's thousands of others
who'd jump at the opportunity.
226
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,900
No, it's just a bit
sudden, that's all.
227
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,998
Read it through on your own time.
228
00:14:08,074 --> 00:14:10,006
"I, Stanley Moon...
229
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:12,007
"hereinafter and in the hereafter...
230
00:14:12,075 --> 00:14:14,666
to be known as the damned..."
231
00:14:14,741 --> 00:14:18,198
The damned?
It's a form of words. Legal jargon.
232
00:14:19,810 --> 00:14:23,206
"Do warrant that I am the
sole owner of my soul."
233
00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:28,804
But what about Margaret? Do you promise
that I'll have her all to myself?
234
00:14:28,877 --> 00:14:30,866
Sign that...
235
00:14:31,878 --> 00:14:33,740
and Margaret Spencer...
236
00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:35,673
will be yours.
237
00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:39,938
"Dear Miss Spencer, this
is just to say cheerio.
238
00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:42,805
"Yours sincerely, Stanley Moon.
239
00:14:42,877 --> 00:14:47,073
P.S. I leave you my
collection of moths."
240
00:14:47,146 --> 00:14:49,576
Just how well did you know Mr. Moon?
241
00:14:49,644 --> 00:14:52,577
Not at all, really.
I used to see him at Wimpy's.
242
00:14:52,645 --> 00:14:56,078
Well, it does seem that, of all the people
in his life, you were the closest to him.
243
00:14:56,147 --> 00:14:59,669
Why else would he leave you that note?
I suppose that must be true.
244
00:14:59,745 --> 00:15:02,337
How awful.
245
00:15:02,412 --> 00:15:05,810
Have you any idea why he
contemplated this rash act?
246
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,812
Can't say, really.
247
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,814
At work he always seems
so calm and quiet.
248
00:15:10,882 --> 00:15:12,814
Sorry to be so blunt,
Miss Spencer...
249
00:15:12,882 --> 00:15:16,837
but are you sure you're not concealing your
relationship with the would-be deceased?
250
00:15:16,914 --> 00:15:20,369
Wasn't a relationship.
I scarcely knew the man.
251
00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:24,641
What are you doing all
that measuring for?
252
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,806
Eh? Oh, we always do
this, Miss Spencer.
253
00:15:27,882 --> 00:15:29,849
You'd be amazed how
often it pays off.
254
00:15:29,915 --> 00:15:32,849
Now, did you say anything
that might have upset him?
255
00:15:32,916 --> 00:15:35,313
Can you remember your
exact last words to him?
256
00:15:35,381 --> 00:15:37,645
I think it was...
257
00:15:37,717 --> 00:15:42,376
"Wimpy Burgers twice, one M.R.,
one well, heavy on the onions."
258
00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:45,247
Yes, I think I'm beginning
to get the picture.
259
00:15:47,084 --> 00:15:50,016
- It all seems to be quite straightforward.
- Good.
260
00:15:50,084 --> 00:15:53,278
All we need do now, then,
is get it witnessed.
261
00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:57,315
Sloth would be best. He's a lawyer.
262
00:16:03,285 --> 00:16:07,184
Come on now, Sloth!
Wake up, you idle, great slob!
263
00:16:07,253 --> 00:16:09,185
Here, are all your staff like this?
264
00:16:09,253 --> 00:16:12,185
That's the trouble. I can't get
any decent help these days.
265
00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:14,185
God's laughing, of course.
266
00:16:14,252 --> 00:16:16,685
All he has to do is raise
his little finger...
267
00:16:16,753 --> 00:16:20,981
he's got a thousand sycophantic,
prissy angels at his beck and call.
268
00:16:21,053 --> 00:16:23,416
I'm lumbered with Anger and Sloth.
269
00:16:23,486 --> 00:16:26,579
Wake up, you lazy, legal layabout!
270
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:29,246
Get up! Wake up!
271
00:16:32,355 --> 00:16:34,651
Here, well, this is Stanley Moon.
272
00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:38,655
He's selling me his soul, and I want
you to witness it on this document.
273
00:16:38,722 --> 00:16:40,655
I want you to do some writing.
274
00:16:40,722 --> 00:16:42,848
That's your forte, isn't it?
Writing.
275
00:16:42,924 --> 00:16:45,856
Where it says,"ln the
presence of," your signature.
276
00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:47,856
Your name. Remember that one?
277
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:50,514
Y... Yeah.
Sloth.
278
00:16:50,589 --> 00:16:53,488
S... I...
S... I...
279
00:16:53,557 --> 00:16:56,752
O... T...
O... T...
280
00:16:56,825 --> 00:16:59,223
T... H.
281
00:16:59,292 --> 00:17:02,451
Right. Very nice.
Now it's your turn.
282
00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:04,788
Um...
283
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,791
there's just one thing, though.
284
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,776
You're not having second
thoughts, are you?
285
00:17:08,802 --> 00:17:12,758
No. But shouldn't I sign in blood?
Blimey, you are a traditionalist.
286
00:17:12,827 --> 00:17:14,758
All right then.
287
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:16,883
Let's use some of his.
He'll never notice.
288
00:17:18,593 --> 00:17:20,582
There we are. Help yourself.
289
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:31,384
Well done.
Welcome to the club.
290
00:17:31,461 --> 00:17:34,984
- When can I get started on my wishes?
- Soon as you like.
291
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,728
And if, by any chance,
you become dissatisfied...
292
00:17:39,796 --> 00:17:42,226
all you have to do is go...
293
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,386
Just go...
You just go...
294
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:47,656
This'll terminate your wish and bring
you back to me, wherever I am.
295
00:17:47,729 --> 00:17:49,661
Here we are. "M."
296
00:17:49,729 --> 00:17:51,662
Let's see, um...
297
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:55,662
Machiavelli, McCarthy,
Masoch, Miller, Moses...
298
00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:58,253
- Moses?
- Irving Moses, the fruiterer.
299
00:17:58,331 --> 00:18:00,661
Here's Moon. S. Moon.
300
00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:04,027
That's you filed away.
301
00:18:04,097 --> 00:18:07,029
Now then, what would you like
to be first? Prime minister?
302
00:18:07,098 --> 00:18:09,893
Oh, no, I've made that deal already.
303
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,658
Um, I don't know, really.
304
00:18:12,731 --> 00:18:15,664
It's just that I'm not
very good with words.
305
00:18:15,732 --> 00:18:19,097
I didn't have very
much of an education.
306
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,961
And... And I'm a bit, um...
307
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:25,125
Uh...
308
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,131
Um, I'm just a bit...
309
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,495
Inarticulate?
310
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,625
Yes, that's it... I think.
311
00:18:31,701 --> 00:18:35,132
And you'd like to be the sort of person
who can use words like "inarticulate"?
312
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,759
Yeah! I'd like to be able to talk to
Margaret and tell her how I feel.
313
00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:42,460
An intellectual who can get his
ideas across to the one he loves.
314
00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:44,501
Yes, that's it.
Easily done.
315
00:18:44,568 --> 00:18:47,501
Now then, you just stand
over here by the bird...
316
00:18:47,569 --> 00:18:50,228
put your right hand
on its left claw.
317
00:18:50,302 --> 00:18:52,735
Okay, lights out!
318
00:18:53,736 --> 00:18:55,963
Take this!
Ooh! Ooh!
319
00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:57,968
Am I gonna explode?
320
00:18:58,035 --> 00:19:00,763
No, no, it's quite safe. I just put it
there for a bit of visual excitement.
321
00:19:00,836 --> 00:19:03,563
It's not gonna hurt, is it?
Not a bit.
322
00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:05,626
Hold tight!
323
00:19:06,338 --> 00:19:08,132
The magic words:
324
00:19:08,204 --> 00:19:10,261
Julie Andrews.
325
00:19:10,337 --> 00:19:13,270
I could stand and
watch them for hours.
326
00:19:13,338 --> 00:19:15,327
They've such beautiful hands.
Mmm.
327
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,836
Such fantastic delicacy, you see...
328
00:19:17,904 --> 00:19:23,166
but combined as well with this
almost preternatural strength.
329
00:19:23,238 --> 00:19:27,034
Doesn't it make you sad to see
animals caged up like this?
330
00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:30,138
Well, in a way, but, uh...
331
00:19:30,205 --> 00:19:33,140
quite honestly, they're really
no worse off than most of us.
332
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:35,139
How do you mean?
333
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,638
Well, metaphorically speaking...
334
00:19:37,706 --> 00:19:39,639
and in a very real sense...
335
00:19:39,707 --> 00:19:41,639
society creates its own cages.
336
00:19:41,707 --> 00:19:43,639
You know, cages of the mind.
337
00:19:43,707 --> 00:19:45,640
Yes. Yes.
338
00:19:45,708 --> 00:19:47,640
A curious kind of
cerebral captivity.
339
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,639
Buy a flower, madam?
340
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:53,231
Oh! Um, what's it for?
Depraved criminals.
341
00:19:53,308 --> 00:19:56,240
You see, civilization...
342
00:19:56,308 --> 00:19:58,970
has had the effect of...
343
00:19:59,043 --> 00:20:01,508
inhibiting our deepest...
344
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:03,508
natural animal instincts, you see.
345
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,509
Mmm.
346
00:20:05,577 --> 00:20:07,702
The conventions of an
ordered society...
347
00:20:07,777 --> 00:20:12,266
have made us lose what Freud calls
our urmenschgefuhnaturlichkeit.
348
00:20:12,343 --> 00:20:15,002
Well, it's a bit of a
mouthful, isn't it?
349
00:20:15,076 --> 00:20:17,508
Must have been a marvelous man.
350
00:20:17,577 --> 00:20:20,270
Oh, yes. One of the seminal forces.
351
00:20:20,343 --> 00:20:22,275
Um, as Rousseau said...
352
00:20:22,343 --> 00:20:24,777
we must learn to unlearn...
353
00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:29,777
because only by unlearning
can we really learn to be.
354
00:20:29,846 --> 00:20:31,640
Your ideas are so exciting!
355
00:20:31,711 --> 00:20:33,837
Oh!
356
00:20:33,912 --> 00:20:35,844
What a...
357
00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:37,844
fabulous room!
358
00:20:37,912 --> 00:20:39,845
It's marvelous!
Do you like it?
359
00:20:39,913 --> 00:20:42,071
Oh, I love it.
360
00:20:42,146 --> 00:20:44,077
It's so right.
361
00:20:44,146 --> 00:20:46,078
I mean, it's you!
362
00:20:46,147 --> 00:20:49,340
The moment I walked in,
everything about it says Stanley.
363
00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:51,345
Well...
This room is you.
364
00:20:51,413 --> 00:20:53,847
It's a bit untidy, bit of a mess...
365
00:20:53,915 --> 00:20:56,970
but we bachelors have to fend
for ourselves, you know.
366
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,480
Brahms! I can't believe it!
367
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,480
You too?
Mmm.
368
00:21:01,549 --> 00:21:03,411
Ohh.
369
00:21:03,481 --> 00:21:05,413
Absolutely adore him.
Mmm.
370
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,413
He has a...
371
00:21:07,481 --> 00:21:09,913
virile romanticism that
I find irresistible.
372
00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:13,415
Oh, Brahms is just so fantastic!
373
00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,414
Whenever I feel tense or anything...
374
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:19,473
I put him on, just sprawl on the
carpet and let him flow all over me.
375
00:21:19,551 --> 00:21:22,312
- Would you like a little
taste of him now then?
- Please!
376
00:21:22,384 --> 00:21:24,314
Not that I'm tense or anything.
377
00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:27,646
It's just that it would
make me even less tense.
378
00:21:28,884 --> 00:21:30,873
Mm-hmm.
379
00:21:38,218 --> 00:21:40,651
Mmm!
380
00:21:44,819 --> 00:21:46,808
Go on.
381
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:50,843
Lie down.
382
00:21:50,918 --> 00:21:52,477
Oh, uh, I didn't mean...
383
00:21:52,553 --> 00:21:54,781
Whew!
384
00:21:54,854 --> 00:21:56,786
Let it happen.
385
00:21:56,854 --> 00:21:58,843
Oh.
386
00:22:12,455 --> 00:22:14,547
Mmm.
387
00:22:22,055 --> 00:22:25,818
I love the way he brings
the flute in there.
388
00:22:25,888 --> 00:22:28,321
That is a French horn, actually.
389
00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,321
Oh. How silly of me.
390
00:22:30,389 --> 00:22:32,822
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Goodness gracious.
391
00:22:32,890 --> 00:22:36,152
The French horn can sound
incredibly like a flute, you know.
392
00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:38,156
In fact, not many people notice...
393
00:22:38,223 --> 00:22:41,214
the flute-like qualities
of a French horn.
394
00:22:44,123 --> 00:22:46,556
It's so sensual and evocative.
395
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:48,557
Mm-hmm.
396
00:22:48,625 --> 00:22:50,557
One can almost see the trees...
397
00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:53,058
and the sunlight dappling through.
398
00:22:53,125 --> 00:22:55,057
And a little brook.
399
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:57,056
Mmm.
400
00:22:57,124 --> 00:22:59,056
And what's that?
401
00:22:59,123 --> 00:23:01,057
A powerful, young stag...
402
00:23:01,124 --> 00:23:02,989
darts into the clearing...
403
00:23:03,060 --> 00:23:05,389
raises his antlers...
404
00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:07,892
and edges closer to his doe.
405
00:23:09,961 --> 00:23:12,894
Oh, that record was
new this morning.
406
00:23:16,961 --> 00:23:20,359
Where did you get
that fantastic thing?
407
00:23:20,428 --> 00:23:23,360
It is nice, isn't it?
408
00:23:23,428 --> 00:23:25,360
Oh, it's beautiful.
409
00:23:25,428 --> 00:23:28,362
Mmm. I got it off a stall, actually.
410
00:23:28,430 --> 00:23:31,862
Just saw it there
and had to have it.
411
00:23:31,928 --> 00:23:33,861
I'm rather like that, you know.
412
00:23:33,928 --> 00:23:35,861
I see something I want...
413
00:23:35,928 --> 00:23:37,861
and that's it, boy-o.
414
00:23:37,928 --> 00:23:39,862
Have to have it.
Me too.
415
00:23:39,929 --> 00:23:42,589
Yes, you too.
416
00:23:43,963 --> 00:23:45,895
Mmm.
417
00:23:45,963 --> 00:23:48,397
Have a look at it.
Oh, thank you.
418
00:23:48,464 --> 00:23:50,623
Oh!
Bit of a weight, isn't it?
419
00:23:50,698 --> 00:23:52,629
Oh, it's so smooth...
420
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,631
and cool.
421
00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:56,926
Yes, that's the extraordinary
thing about marble.
422
00:23:56,998 --> 00:23:58,929
It's always 11 degrees cooler...
423
00:23:58,997 --> 00:24:00,930
than the air that surrounds it.
424
00:24:00,998 --> 00:24:02,930
Fahrenheit, of course.
425
00:24:05,265 --> 00:24:07,256
Do you like feeling things?
426
00:24:08,633 --> 00:24:11,860
Oh, yes,
I'm a very... tactile person.
427
00:24:11,932 --> 00:24:13,864
I love touching things.
428
00:24:13,933 --> 00:24:15,864
Sometimes...
429
00:24:15,933 --> 00:24:17,864
I go into the forest...
430
00:24:17,932 --> 00:24:19,865
and shut my eyes...
431
00:24:19,933 --> 00:24:24,458
and just wander around touching
trees and grass and boulders.
432
00:24:24,535 --> 00:24:27,093
Y-You should try it.
Do it in here!
433
00:24:27,168 --> 00:24:29,793
Go on. Shut your eyes.
434
00:24:35,835 --> 00:24:37,823
Now feel something hard.
435
00:24:39,368 --> 00:24:41,301
Oh.
436
00:24:41,369 --> 00:24:43,301
Ohh!
437
00:24:43,369 --> 00:24:46,927
Oh, I'm feeling something
terribly hard. It's fantastic.
438
00:24:48,503 --> 00:24:51,128
Oh, now feel something soft.
439
00:24:51,203 --> 00:24:53,329
Oh.
440
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:56,529
Oh, my goodness gracious me.
441
00:24:56,604 --> 00:24:59,594
Oh, it's unbelievable.
442
00:25:00,771 --> 00:25:03,134
Oh, the contrast.
443
00:25:03,205 --> 00:25:06,135
I've never felt anything
so exciting in my life.
444
00:25:06,204 --> 00:25:09,829
Yeah. I love it. Feel my tie.
445
00:25:16,406 --> 00:25:18,338
Oh!
Mmm.
446
00:25:18,406 --> 00:25:20,339
Oh. It's delicious!
447
00:25:20,407 --> 00:25:22,338
Yeah?
Velvet.
448
00:25:22,407 --> 00:25:24,337
It's so wild.
449
00:25:24,406 --> 00:25:26,928
It really does something to me.
450
00:25:27,007 --> 00:25:29,303
Oh. Uh...
Hmm.
451
00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:34,235
I suppose after all that touching you
could do with something to drink.
452
00:25:34,307 --> 00:25:36,239
Please!
What would you like?
453
00:25:36,307 --> 00:25:38,704
Cinzano.
Cinzano? Fantastic.
454
00:25:40,643 --> 00:25:43,574
One sip of Cinzano,
and I'm in Italy.
455
00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:45,631
Mmm.
456
00:25:47,076 --> 00:25:49,008
The freedom of it.
457
00:25:49,076 --> 00:25:51,507
The sun beating down.
Mmm.
458
00:25:51,576 --> 00:25:55,508
The incredible thing about the Italians
is the way they touch each other.
459
00:25:55,576 --> 00:25:58,133
Have you noticed that?
Yes. Cheers.
460
00:26:00,576 --> 00:26:03,939
The Anglo-Saxons have lost the
art of touching each other.
461
00:26:04,009 --> 00:26:06,943
I mean, if someone wants
to touch somebody else...
462
00:26:07,011 --> 00:26:09,943
then they should go right
ahead and touch them.
463
00:26:10,011 --> 00:26:12,943
I mean, it's a healthy,
human thing to do.
464
00:26:13,011 --> 00:26:14,944
Y-You're so right.
465
00:26:15,012 --> 00:26:17,772
There's a tribe in... in Africa
who never say a word.
466
00:26:17,844 --> 00:26:20,606
They just touch each other.
That's how they communicate.
467
00:26:20,677 --> 00:26:22,610
Life is far too complicated.
468
00:26:22,677 --> 00:26:25,269
I think we should get
down to basic elements.
469
00:26:25,346 --> 00:26:27,039
Mmm.
I mean...
470
00:26:27,112 --> 00:26:30,976
For example, if you
were a girl, and I...
471
00:26:31,045 --> 00:26:34,104
I am a girl.
Well, of course!
472
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,108
All right, but if...
if you were a girl...
473
00:26:40,180 --> 00:26:42,169
which, of course, you are...
474
00:26:43,747 --> 00:26:47,975
and if I were a man, which, for
argument's sake, let's say I am...
475
00:26:48,047 --> 00:26:51,536
and I wanted to touch you, well...
476
00:26:51,615 --> 00:26:53,547
I wouldn't feel restrained.
477
00:26:53,615 --> 00:26:55,547
I mean, I'd just go right ahead...
478
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,672
and...
479
00:26:57,748 --> 00:26:59,680
touch you.
480
00:26:59,748 --> 00:27:01,681
You see? That's how I am.
481
00:27:01,749 --> 00:27:03,612
I feel the same way.
482
00:27:03,682 --> 00:27:06,614
I mean, if two adult human beings
want to touch each other...
483
00:27:06,681 --> 00:27:09,580
they should go ahead
and touch each other.
484
00:27:09,650 --> 00:27:11,639
Why hold back?
Yes.
485
00:27:14,251 --> 00:27:16,183
This afternoon has been...
486
00:27:16,251 --> 00:27:18,182
so perfect.
487
00:27:18,251 --> 00:27:19,943
The Cinzano. The zoo.
488
00:27:20,016 --> 00:27:22,642
The music. The touching.
489
00:27:22,717 --> 00:27:25,151
And you're so right
about the animals.
490
00:27:25,218 --> 00:27:27,378
I mean, that's what we are...
491
00:27:27,453 --> 00:27:30,782
deep down, underneath our
sophisticated civilization...
492
00:27:30,852 --> 00:27:33,283
and we should behave like they do.
493
00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:35,285
Of course.
494
00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:37,285
I mean, the fact that it's...
495
00:27:37,353 --> 00:27:41,547
seven minutes past 3:00 in the afternoon
wouldn't make any difference to a goat.
496
00:27:41,620 --> 00:27:45,348
I mean, Old Billy wouldn't stop to think
what time of day it was, would he?
497
00:27:45,420 --> 00:27:48,386
No, it just goes right ahead
and does what it feels like.
498
00:27:48,454 --> 00:27:51,284
I mean, really, what are
people waiting for?
499
00:27:51,354 --> 00:27:53,751
I want to live!
That's what matters... living.
500
00:27:53,820 --> 00:27:56,117
I want to do everything,
be everything...
501
00:27:56,188 --> 00:27:58,120
feel everything...
502
00:27:58,188 --> 00:28:00,119
Rape! Rape!
503
00:28:00,188 --> 00:28:02,052
No, no! Margaret! Margaret!
504
00:28:02,122 --> 00:28:04,553
The animals! The goats!
The touching!
505
00:28:04,622 --> 00:28:06,553
Rape! Rape! Rape!
506
00:28:06,622 --> 00:28:09,019
What's going on in there? Open the door!
507
00:28:09,088 --> 00:28:11,020
Aah! Ohh! Ooh!
508
00:28:11,088 --> 00:28:13,020
Owwww!
509
00:28:15,089 --> 00:28:17,283
Rape! Aah!
510
00:28:19,290 --> 00:28:21,620
Hello, Stanley.
I won't be a minute.
511
00:28:21,690 --> 00:28:25,679
- Get me down from here.
- You're quite safe.
It's only a 300-foot drop.
512
00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:30,018
What am I doing in this costume?
513
00:28:30,091 --> 00:28:32,613
I thought you ought to
dress for the occasion.
514
00:28:32,690 --> 00:28:35,453
Come on, my darling.
Out you come.
515
00:28:35,524 --> 00:28:38,490
There we are.
516
00:28:38,557 --> 00:28:41,524
What did you say?
I just said...
517
00:28:41,592 --> 00:28:44,557
- What's that mean?
- It's pigeon talk.
I'm just issuing instructions.
518
00:28:44,625 --> 00:28:48,025
I'm going for a double tempt, actually.
Like to come and watch?
519
00:28:48,093 --> 00:28:49,956
- No.
- Come over here.
520
00:28:50,026 --> 00:28:51,958
No need to be frightened.
521
00:28:52,026 --> 00:28:54,959
You won't fall. I'll hold on
to your belt, if you like.
522
00:28:55,027 --> 00:28:57,016
Up you come.
523
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,492
There we are.
524
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,890
Now, you see that man over there?
Yes.
525
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:05,392
And do you see this pigeon?
Yes.
526
00:29:05,459 --> 00:29:07,892
Well, this is a classic
double tempt situation.
527
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,400
With a bit of luck, I can get
two sins for the price of one...
528
00:29:10,462 --> 00:29:13,360
spite from the perpetrating
pigeon and anger from the victim!
529
00:29:13,428 --> 00:29:14,860
It's terrific!
530
00:29:14,930 --> 00:29:17,361
Are you trying to tell me
you want that pigeon...
531
00:29:17,429 --> 00:29:19,361
to do his doo-dahs
on that man's head?
532
00:29:19,429 --> 00:29:21,361
That's right.
533
00:29:21,429 --> 00:29:23,360
All right, birdie,
remember what I said.
534
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:25,360
Target in range.
535
00:29:25,429 --> 00:29:28,020
All systems... go!
536
00:29:28,097 --> 00:29:32,029
Release your doo-dahs
537
00:29:36,032 --> 00:29:38,963
What a pathetic thing to do.
538
00:29:39,031 --> 00:29:42,191
If you're the devil, why didn't you
go for that vicar down there?
539
00:29:42,266 --> 00:29:44,696
Oh, no. He's one of ours.
540
00:29:44,764 --> 00:29:47,095
Is this your idea of having fun?
541
00:29:47,164 --> 00:29:49,222
Tempting pigeons?
542
00:29:49,299 --> 00:29:52,627
Banal as it may seem,
Stanley, it is my job.
543
00:29:52,698 --> 00:29:55,131
I don't know.
544
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,528
If it hadn't been for you...
545
00:29:57,598 --> 00:30:01,692
we'd still be blissfully wandering
about naked in paradise.
546
00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,698
You're welcome, mate.
547
00:30:03,766 --> 00:30:06,823
The Garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just
south of Croydon. You can see it over there.
548
00:30:06,901 --> 00:30:09,368
Adam and Eve were happy enough.
549
00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:12,195
I'll tell you why...
they were pig ignorant.
550
00:30:12,268 --> 00:30:16,200
Come on, my darling. Out you go,
and do something really nasty.
551
00:30:16,268 --> 00:30:18,699
Oh, how'd you get on
with Margaret Spencer?
552
00:30:18,767 --> 00:30:21,699
I was wondering when
you'd ask me that.
553
00:30:21,768 --> 00:30:24,699
It was terrible.
I was so frustrated.
554
00:30:24,767 --> 00:30:27,200
I had all these words and ideas...
555
00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:29,566
and she listened to them
and agreed with them...
556
00:30:29,637 --> 00:30:31,568
but when I touched her she screamed.
557
00:30:31,637 --> 00:30:33,568
Let me tell you something, Stanley.
558
00:30:33,637 --> 00:30:36,500
As far as sex is concerned,
patience is a virtue.
559
00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:38,694
I wanted her so much
I just couldn't wait.
560
00:30:38,769 --> 00:30:41,168
Let me give you a tip. Come here.
561
00:30:41,236 --> 00:30:43,862
In the words of Marcel Proust...
562
00:30:43,937 --> 00:30:46,732
and this applies to any
woman in the world...
563
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:50,236
if you can stay up and listen with a fair
degree of attention to whatever garbage...
564
00:30:50,305 --> 00:30:52,236
no matter how stupid it is...
565
00:30:52,304 --> 00:30:54,236
that they're coming out with...
566
00:30:54,304 --> 00:30:57,346
till 10 minutes past 4:00
in the morning, you're in.
567
00:30:57,478 --> 00:31:00,444
Ten minutes past 4:00 in the
morning, and you're there?
568
00:31:00,513 --> 00:31:02,036
It never fails.
569
00:31:03,213 --> 00:31:06,077
Oh, that Margaret's such a...
gorgeous girl.
570
00:31:06,147 --> 00:31:07,635
Isn't she lovely?
571
00:31:07,713 --> 00:31:10,272
I'd like to know what
she's doing right now.
572
00:31:10,347 --> 00:31:13,006
Well, that can be arranged.
573
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,546
Let's just get this out.
What's that?
574
00:31:15,614 --> 00:31:17,546
Galileo's wonderful
little invention.
575
00:31:17,614 --> 00:31:19,602
Have you got sixpence?
576
00:31:21,014 --> 00:31:22,948
Yes.
577
00:31:23,015 --> 00:31:25,005
Have a peer through that.
578
00:31:26,815 --> 00:31:29,577
There we are.
Wha...
579
00:31:29,648 --> 00:31:33,081
Come on, Roberts.
Put your back into it!
580
00:31:33,149 --> 00:31:36,082
It's very good of you to
spend so much time on this.
581
00:31:36,150 --> 00:31:39,082
Shh. Oh, that's why we're here,
Miss Spencer... to help people out.
582
00:31:39,150 --> 00:31:41,581
Or fish people out, rather.
583
00:31:41,648 --> 00:31:43,582
Excuse me, Miss Spencer.
584
00:31:43,649 --> 00:31:46,583
People get the wrong
idea about the police.
585
00:31:46,650 --> 00:31:49,243
We're all human beings
as well, you know.
586
00:31:49,318 --> 00:31:53,250
No, we like the public to
think of us as their friends.
587
00:31:53,318 --> 00:31:55,251
I'm sure we all do, Inspector.
588
00:31:55,319 --> 00:31:57,751
Why don't you call me Reg?
589
00:31:57,818 --> 00:32:01,148
All right, Reg.
And you must call me Margaret.
590
00:32:01,218 --> 00:32:03,411
Here, she told him to
call her Margaret.
591
00:32:03,485 --> 00:32:06,917
I think she fancies him a bit.
Shut up!
592
00:32:06,985 --> 00:32:09,349
Oh, I do hope they don't
find Stanley down there.
593
00:32:09,419 --> 00:32:11,408
He was such a...
594
00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:15,052
Quick, it's run out!
Give me another sixpence.
595
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,109
Ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh! Ah! Ooh-ooh!
I haven't got one!
596
00:32:17,187 --> 00:32:19,120
Ohh!
597
00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:22,053
Oh, I know she was gonna say
something nice about me.
598
00:32:22,122 --> 00:32:24,951
Oh, let me have her now.
I must have her now. Please!
599
00:32:25,021 --> 00:32:27,747
Just tell me who, where, when,
under what circumstances.
600
00:32:27,820 --> 00:32:32,049
Margaret is who, of course, but I don't want
to go through courting again... that was awful.
601
00:32:32,121 --> 00:32:35,485
Why not be married to her? Then you'll
be absolutely certain of having her.
602
00:32:35,555 --> 00:32:39,148
Yeah. A-And I'd like to be powerful,
'cause I'd like to give her lots of things.
603
00:32:39,223 --> 00:32:41,155
Rich. Influential. Millionaire.
604
00:32:41,223 --> 00:32:43,155
Multi.
Multi. Good thinking.
605
00:32:43,223 --> 00:32:47,551
Multimillionaire. Yachts, servants,
country estates, a phone in the lav.
606
00:32:47,622 --> 00:32:51,056
Yeah, but I don't want her to be like
she was last time... you know, timid.
607
00:32:51,123 --> 00:32:53,987
I want her to be... physical.
608
00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:56,353
I'll make her very physical,
indeed, for you, Stanley.
609
00:32:56,424 --> 00:32:58,413
Stiffen yourself.
610
00:33:00,058 --> 00:33:02,956
The magic words: Jackie Kennedy!
611
00:33:05,725 --> 00:33:07,588
Oh, well. Julie Andrews.
612
00:33:17,126 --> 00:33:19,116
Randy!
613
00:33:20,193 --> 00:33:22,124
Afternoon, Seed.
614
00:33:22,192 --> 00:33:25,716
Hello, everybody. How are you, Peter?
Sorry I'm late, darling.
615
00:33:25,793 --> 00:33:27,725
Mmm! Hello, Randolph.
Hello.
616
00:33:27,793 --> 00:33:30,727
Brought you a little
something from town.
617
00:33:30,794 --> 00:33:32,727
Do you like it?
618
00:33:32,794 --> 00:33:36,421
Yes. Isn't it lovely, Randy?
Yes.
619
00:33:37,495 --> 00:33:39,425
We're playing croquet.
620
00:33:39,493 --> 00:33:41,425
Why don't you and Peter go away...
621
00:33:41,493 --> 00:33:44,086
and discuss your affairs?
622
00:33:44,163 --> 00:33:46,095
True enough.
623
00:33:46,163 --> 00:33:49,560
I suppose we ought to... tie
up this Venezuelan business.
624
00:33:49,630 --> 00:33:51,219
Yes.
625
00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:54,591
Lord Dowdy, I wonder if you'd be so
kind as to take over my blue ball...
626
00:33:54,662 --> 00:33:56,423
and double up with Daphne.
627
00:33:56,495 --> 00:33:58,427
C-C-C-C-C-Certainly.
628
00:33:58,496 --> 00:34:01,427
Who is that young Randy fellow?
What?
629
00:34:01,496 --> 00:34:03,360
Oh. Randolph.
630
00:34:03,431 --> 00:34:05,363
He's an awfully nice chap.
631
00:34:05,431 --> 00:34:07,862
He's, uh... He's teaching
Margaret the harp.
632
00:34:07,931 --> 00:34:09,863
Oh, yes.
633
00:34:09,931 --> 00:34:11,863
She's terribly artistic, you know.
Is she?
634
00:34:11,931 --> 00:34:13,863
Yes. Terribly.
Artistic?
635
00:34:13,931 --> 00:34:15,863
- Yes. Yes.
- Yes.
636
00:34:15,931 --> 00:34:18,863
We met Randolph, actually,
when we were in the Bahamas...
637
00:34:18,931 --> 00:34:21,362
forming Margaret's mother
into a limited company.
638
00:34:21,431 --> 00:34:23,365
Very shrewd move.
639
00:34:23,433 --> 00:34:27,365
You ever thought of making Margaret
into a charitable institution?
640
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:29,366
What a cracking wheeze!
641
00:34:29,434 --> 00:34:31,865
Yes, and then I could get a
depreciation allowance on her.
642
00:34:31,934 --> 00:34:34,364
Exactly. I think the revenue
boys would buy that one.
643
00:34:34,433 --> 00:34:36,366
Yes.
644
00:34:36,434 --> 00:34:38,627
You could probably get her
clothes taken off as well.
645
00:34:40,701 --> 00:34:43,633
Yes, I'm sure they'd be deductible.
646
00:34:43,702 --> 00:34:47,633
Properly handled, I think she could
be a wonderful little asset.
647
00:34:47,701 --> 00:34:49,635
Yes.
648
00:34:49,703 --> 00:34:52,634
I was shopping around for a
wife, actually, the other day.
649
00:34:52,702 --> 00:34:54,634
Mmm. Daphne?
650
00:34:54,702 --> 00:34:56,635
Or something along similar lines.
651
00:34:56,703 --> 00:34:59,294
But my accountant said that in
my bracket it really wasn't on.
652
00:34:59,369 --> 00:35:01,960
Oh, yes... Oh, yes... Come on!
653
00:35:02,971 --> 00:35:05,801
Yes. Excuse me.
654
00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:08,802
I forgot to give you
this, my precious!
655
00:35:08,870 --> 00:35:11,130
Oh, you doll!
656
00:35:11,202 --> 00:35:13,668
There we are. Do you like it?
Oh!
657
00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:15,669
Well!
658
00:35:15,737 --> 00:35:18,101
Feel the fur, Randolph.
Mmm. Beautiful.
659
00:35:18,171 --> 00:35:20,967
How is the old harp...
harp coming along?
660
00:35:21,038 --> 00:35:22,971
Oh, splendidly.
661
00:35:23,039 --> 00:35:25,005
Your wife has extraordinary
sensitivity.
662
00:35:25,073 --> 00:35:27,005
She has, she has. Extraordinary.
663
00:35:27,073 --> 00:35:29,936
Oh, I'm so hot and sticky and...
664
00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:32,995
Randy, we must have a dip!
665
00:35:44,374 --> 00:35:47,100
Your wife has a very beautiful body.
666
00:35:48,540 --> 00:35:51,735
It is nice, isn't it?
667
00:35:53,174 --> 00:35:56,403
You must be a very happy man.
668
00:35:58,241 --> 00:36:00,503
Yes.
669
00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:02,507
Yes, I must be.
670
00:36:06,008 --> 00:36:07,942
I find her...
671
00:36:08,009 --> 00:36:10,339
fantastically attractive.
672
00:36:10,409 --> 00:36:12,466
Hmm.
673
00:36:14,977 --> 00:36:16,910
Thank you.
674
00:36:16,978 --> 00:36:18,909
You don't mind my saying that.
675
00:36:18,978 --> 00:36:21,705
My dear chap. Good Lord.
676
00:36:21,777 --> 00:36:23,935
Not at all. Not at all.
677
00:36:27,643 --> 00:36:29,576
I imagine everybody does.
678
00:36:29,643 --> 00:36:32,941
I imagine they do. Yes.
679
00:36:37,212 --> 00:36:40,144
Sex is a terribly thorny
subject, isn't it?
680
00:36:40,212 --> 00:36:42,769
Mmm. Tsk-tsk-tsk.
681
00:36:42,845 --> 00:36:44,778
Terribly thorny.
682
00:36:44,846 --> 00:36:46,778
Very thorny subject.
683
00:36:46,846 --> 00:36:49,972
I don't really need it.
Yes, please.
684
00:36:50,046 --> 00:36:52,478
I always think it very ironical...
685
00:36:52,546 --> 00:36:56,980
that the male of the species reaches
his sexual peak at the age of 14.
686
00:36:57,046 --> 00:36:58,979
Mmm.
687
00:36:59,046 --> 00:37:00,979
Whereas the appetite
of the female...
688
00:37:01,046 --> 00:37:03,979
continues to increase
with the passing years.
689
00:37:05,214 --> 00:37:07,146
Yes.
690
00:37:07,214 --> 00:37:09,146
Hmm.
691
00:37:09,214 --> 00:37:11,704
It is ironic, isn't it?
692
00:37:13,382 --> 00:37:15,314
Bloody ironic.
693
00:37:15,382 --> 00:37:17,474
Ah.
694
00:37:19,015 --> 00:37:22,174
Of course, monogamy isn't a
natural state for any animal.
695
00:37:22,247 --> 00:37:24,181
Good Lord, no.
696
00:37:24,248 --> 00:37:26,181
Goodness gracious, no. No.
697
00:37:26,248 --> 00:37:29,182
When I say "animal," I mean man.
Yes.
698
00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:32,183
- And when I say "man," I mean woman, of course.
- Of course.
699
00:37:34,250 --> 00:37:37,182
You see, he... or,
for that matter, she...
700
00:37:37,250 --> 00:37:39,182
is, um...
701
00:37:39,249 --> 00:37:41,307
fundamentally promiscuous.
702
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:43,349
Now.
703
00:37:44,352 --> 00:37:46,943
Yes.
704
00:37:47,018 --> 00:37:49,314
Yes, she probably is.
705
00:37:49,385 --> 00:37:51,976
How does that feel?
706
00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,284
Excuse me.
707
00:37:55,353 --> 00:37:57,285
Darling! Darling!
Mmm?
708
00:37:57,354 --> 00:37:59,285
I forgot to give you
this, dear heart.
709
00:37:59,354 --> 00:38:01,285
How exciting. What is it?
710
00:38:02,853 --> 00:38:05,581
Boo-boo-boo-boo!
You shouldn't have.
711
00:38:05,654 --> 00:38:09,086
Is it the original?
Yes. I thought it might appeal.
712
00:38:09,152 --> 00:38:11,984
Thank you, dear. You are sweet.
713
00:38:12,053 --> 00:38:13,985
Oh, good!
714
00:38:14,052 --> 00:38:16,986
And now we must go and get
out of our wet things.
715
00:38:17,053 --> 00:38:20,145
Come along, Randy.
716
00:38:21,921 --> 00:38:25,616
Beautiful collection of books
you've got here, Stanley.
717
00:38:25,689 --> 00:38:28,155
Must be worth a packet.
718
00:38:28,222 --> 00:38:31,155
Yes, I caught a rather nasty
cold in blue chips last week...
719
00:38:31,223 --> 00:38:34,746
and my broker's advised me
to switch to first editions.
720
00:38:34,823 --> 00:38:36,584
They're going up all the time.
721
00:38:36,656 --> 00:38:38,588
Yes.
722
00:38:38,657 --> 00:38:42,180
That one's worth about £10 more
than it was when we came in.
723
00:38:42,256 --> 00:38:47,623
Forgive my ignorance,
B-B-B-Bagshot...
724
00:38:47,692 --> 00:38:50,624
b-but what are y-y-y-you in?
725
00:38:50,692 --> 00:38:53,486
Missiles and munitions, mainly.
726
00:38:53,558 --> 00:38:55,649
Mmm.
How's the market holding up?
727
00:38:55,725 --> 00:39:00,158
Well, we've been very badly
hit by this peace scare.
728
00:39:01,459 --> 00:39:03,789
We fell four points yesterday.
729
00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:07,024
Luckily, I managed to off-load...
730
00:39:07,093 --> 00:39:09,354
a lot of obsolete rubbish...
731
00:39:09,425 --> 00:39:11,415
on the freedom fighters.
732
00:39:13,026 --> 00:39:15,357
Yet things still look rather dodgy.
733
00:39:15,427 --> 00:39:18,120
S-S-S-Surely i-i-i-i-it's...
734
00:39:18,194 --> 00:39:22,320
only a t-t-t-temporary...
735
00:39:22,394 --> 00:39:25,293
s-s-s-s-setback.
736
00:39:25,362 --> 00:39:28,794
That's very easy for you
to say, Lord Dowdy.
737
00:39:28,859 --> 00:39:30,794
But it only takes two lunatics...
738
00:39:30,861 --> 00:39:33,292
to sit down and sign
a piece of paper...
739
00:39:33,362 --> 00:39:36,987
and we could be plunged into a
nuclear peace so devastating...
740
00:39:37,061 --> 00:39:39,994
that my company, for one, would
be wiped out completely.
741
00:39:40,063 --> 00:39:43,187
Where's that harp coming from?
742
00:39:43,262 --> 00:39:46,229
It's probably Margaret
playing with Randolph...
743
00:39:46,296 --> 00:39:48,626
in the music room.
744
00:39:48,696 --> 00:39:50,628
They're very good
together, aren't they?
745
00:39:50,697 --> 00:39:53,129
Yes, they certainly are.
746
00:39:53,197 --> 00:39:57,926
I often wish I'd been forced to take up
an instrument myself when I was young.
747
00:39:57,998 --> 00:40:00,929
I must say, I, uh, admire the way...
748
00:40:00,998 --> 00:40:02,929
you allow her such freedom.
749
00:40:02,997 --> 00:40:05,930
I think most husbands would
object to their wives...
750
00:40:05,998 --> 00:40:09,227
being alone in a room
with a handsome...
751
00:40:09,299 --> 00:40:11,788
virile young man.
752
00:40:14,865 --> 00:40:18,300
Well, it is the 20th
century, after all, old boy.
753
00:40:18,367 --> 00:40:21,854
Can't expect to possess
anyone body and soul.
754
00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:26,432
Huh.
755
00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:28,432
Wonder why the...
756
00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:30,433
music stopped.
757
00:40:30,501 --> 00:40:33,764
They've probably come to the
end of their first movement.
758
00:40:33,835 --> 00:40:35,767
Your shot, Stanley.
759
00:40:35,835 --> 00:40:37,768
Yes. Yes.
760
00:40:37,836 --> 00:40:40,028
Um... Ah-ta-ta-ta.
761
00:40:40,103 --> 00:40:44,535
Uh, l-l-I'll just pop
along and, uh, uh...
762
00:40:44,602 --> 00:40:47,534
see if they need
anything before, uh...
763
00:40:47,602 --> 00:40:51,626
they start their, um, next...
764
00:40:51,703 --> 00:40:54,634
movement.
765
00:40:59,727 --> 00:41:01,589
Oh.
766
00:41:01,659 --> 00:41:03,592
Uh, hello, Randolph.
767
00:41:03,659 --> 00:41:06,593
Have you seen anything
of my wife at all?
768
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:09,091
Not recently.
I thought she was with you.
769
00:41:10,326 --> 00:41:12,758
Yes. Probably is. Probably is, yes.
770
00:41:13,761 --> 00:41:15,693
Yes.
771
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,817
Probably... with...
772
00:41:18,894 --> 00:41:20,883
Probably with me.
773
00:41:24,630 --> 00:41:27,357
Oh. Um, where's Peter got to?
774
00:41:27,429 --> 00:41:30,292
H-H-He said s-s-s...
775
00:41:30,362 --> 00:41:34,295
s-s-something had
c-c-c-c... come up.
776
00:41:34,363 --> 00:41:36,294
Come up?
Something come up? Yes.
777
00:41:36,362 --> 00:41:38,295
Y-Y-Your sh-shot.
778
00:41:38,363 --> 00:41:40,920
My shot. Yes. Yes, my shot.
779
00:41:40,996 --> 00:41:42,928
Yes, you're certainly right there.
780
00:41:42,996 --> 00:41:44,928
Gosh. My shot. Yes.
781
00:41:44,997 --> 00:41:46,928
Oh, blast!
782
00:41:46,997 --> 00:41:50,260
Gosh.
Seem to have broken me cue.
783
00:41:50,331 --> 00:41:52,594
Um... won't use any of those.
784
00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:54,597
Rubbishy old things.
785
00:41:54,665 --> 00:41:57,095
I'll just... just go and
get my special one.
786
00:41:57,163 --> 00:42:00,891
Um, Margaret'll know where
to lay her hands on it!
787
00:42:00,964 --> 00:42:03,828
Margaret, my darling! My precious!
788
00:42:03,898 --> 00:42:06,195
My sweet? My love? Margaret!
789
00:42:07,666 --> 00:42:09,598
Seed!
Sir?
790
00:42:09,666 --> 00:42:12,995
Oh. Uh, have you seen
Lady Margaret, Seed?
791
00:42:13,065 --> 00:42:15,328
Her Ladyship is in
the bathroom, sir.
792
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,333
In the bathroom, Seed.
Jolly good.
793
00:42:23,234 --> 00:42:25,291
Oh. Hello, Peter. Hello, darling.
794
00:42:25,369 --> 00:42:27,301
Uh, s...
795
00:42:27,369 --> 00:42:30,300
sorry to butt in like this, Peter...
796
00:42:30,367 --> 00:42:32,890
but, um, uh...
797
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:35,525
about this Venezuelan business...
798
00:42:35,601 --> 00:42:39,329
I thought we ought to get it, uh,
tied up one way or the other.
799
00:42:39,402 --> 00:42:42,460
Um, uh...
800
00:42:42,535 --> 00:42:45,469
do you want me to come
in with you on it...
801
00:42:45,536 --> 00:42:48,469
or, um, do you...
do you wish to pull out...
802
00:42:48,536 --> 00:42:51,934
or shall we just call
the whole thing, um...
803
00:42:54,637 --> 00:42:56,762
Aaah!
804
00:42:56,837 --> 00:42:59,769
Hello, Stanley.
Just tap this for me, would you?
805
00:42:59,837 --> 00:43:02,360
What are we doing up here?
Trapping a few wasps.
806
00:43:02,437 --> 00:43:05,699
Wasps? Blimey!
Come on, my darlings.
807
00:43:05,771 --> 00:43:09,204
Come on, my beastlies.
Out of the nest, into the jar. Come on.
808
00:43:09,272 --> 00:43:12,704
How'd it go, Stanley?
You know perfectly well how it went.
809
00:43:12,772 --> 00:43:15,703
That Bagshot bloke
looked exactly like you.
810
00:43:15,772 --> 00:43:17,703
Well, there's a lot
of me in everyone.
811
00:43:17,771 --> 00:43:21,068
It was even worse than the last time.
I've never been so miserable.
812
00:43:21,139 --> 00:43:24,071
Wasn't she physical enough?
She was physical, all right.
813
00:43:24,139 --> 00:43:26,071
She was too physical.
814
00:43:26,139 --> 00:43:28,571
She was physical all over
the place, except with me.
815
00:43:28,639 --> 00:43:31,902
Oh, don't be too hard on her.
Fornication's such a puny sin.
816
00:43:31,973 --> 00:43:34,031
What she did to me
was unforgivable.
817
00:43:34,108 --> 00:43:37,040
You're just like all my clients.
Absolutely typical.
818
00:43:37,108 --> 00:43:40,041
If Margaret had come in and told
you she'd murdered the gardener...
819
00:43:40,109 --> 00:43:43,041
you'd have forgiven her,
shielded her from the police.
820
00:43:43,109 --> 00:43:46,040
Just because she has a bit of
harmless fun with some young man...
821
00:43:46,109 --> 00:43:48,040
doesn't do anybody any damage...
822
00:43:48,109 --> 00:43:50,040
you want to strangle her.
823
00:43:50,108 --> 00:43:52,099
You're a complete hypocrite.
824
00:43:52,176 --> 00:43:54,107
I thought you were
gonna make me happy.
825
00:43:54,176 --> 00:43:57,107
I never promised you that.
That's up to you.
826
00:43:57,175 --> 00:44:00,269
I just gave you seven wishes
for one measly little soul.
827
00:44:00,344 --> 00:44:02,502
I'm only doing me job.
Your job?
828
00:44:02,576 --> 00:44:04,406
Making people miserable?
829
00:44:04,477 --> 00:44:08,171
No! Giving them the chance
to be happy. It's God's idea.
830
00:44:09,243 --> 00:44:11,176
Don't confuse me with religion.
831
00:44:11,243 --> 00:44:14,177
You see, his theory...
and I'm not knocking it...
832
00:44:14,245 --> 00:44:17,177
is that in order for people
to be really good...
833
00:44:17,245 --> 00:44:21,006
they have to make a free choice between
good and evil and choose good.
834
00:44:21,078 --> 00:44:22,702
Look.
835
00:44:24,411 --> 00:44:27,606
I'm a vital part of his plan.
I provide the evil.
836
00:44:31,979 --> 00:44:33,912
Wasps!
837
00:44:33,980 --> 00:44:35,878
Wasps! Wasps!
838
00:44:37,946 --> 00:44:41,379
Oh, you rotten,
nasty-minded troublemaker.
839
00:44:41,447 --> 00:44:43,378
Ohh!
840
00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:46,208
Those nice, gentle flower people
grooving along quietly...
841
00:44:46,281 --> 00:44:48,213
and you had to mess it up.
842
00:44:48,281 --> 00:44:50,769
You could do something about it.
How?
843
00:44:50,847 --> 00:44:53,747
Why don't you give them
one of your wishes?
844
00:44:55,916 --> 00:44:58,848
Well, because they're mine, and
I've only got five of 'em left.
845
00:44:58,916 --> 00:45:01,711
Not falling for any more of your
tricks, thank you very much.
846
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:05,214
Well, just as you like.
Let's go. More work to be done.
847
00:45:08,317 --> 00:45:10,249
What a dreary thing to do.
848
00:45:10,317 --> 00:45:12,250
I hope you're proud of yourself.
849
00:45:12,318 --> 00:45:14,250
It was pride that got me into this.
850
00:45:14,318 --> 00:45:17,248
I used to be an angel,
you know, up in heaven.
851
00:45:17,317 --> 00:45:20,250
- Oh, yeah. You used to be
God's favorite, didn't you?
- That's right.
852
00:45:20,319 --> 00:45:24,341
"I Love Lucifer" it was, in those days.
What was it like in heaven?
853
00:45:24,418 --> 00:45:26,475
Very nice, really.
854
00:45:26,551 --> 00:45:29,177
We used to sit around
all day and adore him.
855
00:45:29,252 --> 00:45:31,343
Believe me, he was adorable.
856
00:45:31,419 --> 00:45:34,351
Just about the most adorable
thing you ever did see.
857
00:45:34,419 --> 00:45:36,884
Well, what went wrong then?
I'll show you.
858
00:45:36,952 --> 00:45:40,577
Here we are.
Give me a leg up, would you?
859
00:45:40,652 --> 00:45:42,585
Now, then...
860
00:45:42,652 --> 00:45:44,586
I'm God.
861
00:45:44,653 --> 00:45:46,587
This is my throne, see.
862
00:45:46,654 --> 00:45:48,586
All around me are the
cherubim, seraphim...
863
00:45:48,654 --> 00:45:50,586
continually crying,"Holy,
holy, holy"...
864
00:45:50,654 --> 00:45:52,586
the angels, archangels,
that sort of thing.
865
00:45:52,654 --> 00:45:56,246
Now you be me, Lucifer, the
loveliest angel of them all.
866
00:45:56,321 --> 00:45:59,583
- What do I do?
- Well, sort of dance around
praising me, mainly.
867
00:45:59,654 --> 00:46:02,519
- What sort of things do I say?
- Anything that comes into
your head that's nice.
868
00:46:02,588 --> 00:46:06,214
How beautiful I am, how wise, how
handsome, that sort of thing.
869
00:46:06,289 --> 00:46:08,415
Come on. Start dancing.
870
00:46:10,023 --> 00:46:12,921
You're wise, you're
beautiful You're handsome
871
00:46:12,989 --> 00:46:14,921
Thank you very much.
872
00:46:14,989 --> 00:46:16,579
The universe
873
00:46:16,657 --> 00:46:19,088
- What a wonderful idea.
Take my hat off to you.
- Thank you.
874
00:46:19,157 --> 00:46:22,589
Trees, terrific.
Water, another good one.
875
00:46:22,657 --> 00:46:25,589
That was a good one.
Yes! Sex... top marks.
876
00:46:25,657 --> 00:46:28,283
Now make it more personal.
A bit more fulsome, please.
877
00:46:28,357 --> 00:46:30,686
Come on.
Immortal, invisible.
878
00:46:30,757 --> 00:46:33,690
You're handsome, you're,
uh, you're glorious.
879
00:46:33,758 --> 00:46:35,689
Thank you. More!
880
00:46:35,758 --> 00:46:37,690
You're the most beautiful
person in the world
881
00:46:37,759 --> 00:46:41,623
Here, I'm getting a bit bored with this.
Can't we change places?
882
00:46:41,692 --> 00:46:43,817
That's exactly how I felt.
883
00:46:44,826 --> 00:46:46,758
I only wanted to be like him...
884
00:46:46,826 --> 00:46:48,757
and have a few angels adoring me.
885
00:46:48,824 --> 00:46:52,758
He didn't see it like that.
Pride, he called it. Sin of pride.
886
00:46:52,826 --> 00:46:58,417
Flew into a monumental rage, chucked me
out of heaven, gave me this miserable job.
887
00:46:58,493 --> 00:47:00,425
Just 'cause I wanted to be loved.
888
00:47:00,494 --> 00:47:03,359
I had no idea.
It's a very sad story.
889
00:47:03,427 --> 00:47:05,360
I suppose he had his reasons.
890
00:47:05,427 --> 00:47:07,360
Oh, can't you stop?
891
00:47:07,427 --> 00:47:09,360
It's a compulsion!
892
00:47:09,427 --> 00:47:12,019
I'm compelled to. His orders.
Pathetic.
893
00:47:12,095 --> 00:47:14,925
He moves in a very
mysterious way, you know.
894
00:47:19,329 --> 00:47:21,920
Here, that's terrible!
895
00:47:21,996 --> 00:47:25,586
But apart from the way he
moves, what's God really like?
896
00:47:25,662 --> 00:47:27,594
I mean, what color is he?
897
00:47:27,663 --> 00:47:29,595
He's all colors of the rainbow...
many-hued.
898
00:47:29,664 --> 00:47:32,424
But he is English, isn't he?
Oh, yes. Very upper-class.
899
00:47:35,430 --> 00:47:38,692
Course his son had a lot of problems,
having such a famous father.
900
00:47:38,764 --> 00:47:42,197
I always felt sorry for Jesus having
his birthday on Christmas Day.
901
00:47:42,264 --> 00:47:44,253
Just one lot of presents.
902
00:47:52,430 --> 00:47:54,863
That's a bad day's work.
903
00:47:54,933 --> 00:47:56,865
Oh, no. He's in here again.
904
00:47:56,933 --> 00:47:59,866
Come on, Vanity, you
worthless old sin!
905
00:47:59,934 --> 00:48:03,524
Stop preening! Get back and
tidy up your men's room!
906
00:48:12,699 --> 00:48:15,258
How could he see where he's going?
He can't.
907
00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:21,267
What rotten sins I've got working for me.
I suppose it's the wages.
908
00:48:21,333 --> 00:48:23,268
Anyway, enough of my problems.
909
00:48:23,335 --> 00:48:25,268
Sit down.
Thank you.
910
00:48:25,335 --> 00:48:28,269
You must be exhausted after all
that business with Margaret.
911
00:48:28,336 --> 00:48:30,802
Jealousy really takes it
out of you, doesn't it?
912
00:48:30,869 --> 00:48:33,802
Think things over before you
decide on your next wish.
913
00:48:33,870 --> 00:48:36,802
Don't rush into it.
Have a bit of kip.
914
00:48:36,870 --> 00:48:39,300
Things'll seem clearer
in the morning.
915
00:48:39,368 --> 00:48:42,392
You can use my bed if you like.
916
00:48:42,469 --> 00:48:44,400
Slip into this.
917
00:48:44,469 --> 00:48:46,594
Oh. Where will you sleep then?
918
00:48:46,670 --> 00:48:49,264
Oh, don't worry about me.
I never do.
919
00:48:49,338 --> 00:48:52,270
I had a fitful doze in the Middle Ages.
Since then, nothing.
920
00:48:52,338 --> 00:48:55,327
- Go on. You can change through there.
- Thank you.
921
00:48:57,338 --> 00:49:02,101
It's very kind of you to lend me
your room and your bed like this.
922
00:49:02,172 --> 00:49:05,104
You're the first person who's
ever shown any concern for me...
923
00:49:05,172 --> 00:49:07,105
and you're the devil.
924
00:49:07,173 --> 00:49:10,196
I mean, God's never taken any
interest in me, as far as I can see.
925
00:49:10,272 --> 00:49:13,728
Of course not. He never pushes himself
forward. Prefers to work subliminally.
926
00:49:13,807 --> 00:49:16,738
It's the oldest trick in the
game, your soft-sell technique.
927
00:49:16,807 --> 00:49:19,705
Well, I wish he would push himself
forward and help people a bit...
928
00:49:19,774 --> 00:49:21,707
and prove he was there.
929
00:49:21,775 --> 00:49:23,706
Well, in God's view,
for what it's worth...
930
00:49:23,775 --> 00:49:25,706
this would interfere with
your freedom of choice.
931
00:49:25,775 --> 00:49:27,707
Freedom of choice?
932
00:49:27,776 --> 00:49:31,208
What sort of freedom of choice did
I have about where I was born...
933
00:49:31,274 --> 00:49:33,206
and what size I was...
934
00:49:33,273 --> 00:49:36,207
and what a bloody awful
job I landed myself in?
935
00:49:36,274 --> 00:49:39,206
If we really had
freedom of choice...
936
00:49:39,274 --> 00:49:43,401
we should be able to decide who are parents
are, what we look like and everything.
937
00:49:43,475 --> 00:49:47,738
- I couldn't agree more.
- Then why the hell doesn't he
do something about it?
938
00:49:47,810 --> 00:49:49,867
God knows.
939
00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:52,465
Well, that's very
handsome, I must say.
940
00:49:52,542 --> 00:49:54,703
- It's a bit long.
- Suits you down to the ground.
941
00:49:54,777 --> 00:49:56,766
Looks very good on you.
942
00:49:56,843 --> 00:49:59,775
Actually, um, red's
not really my color.
943
00:49:59,843 --> 00:50:02,037
I'm normally a bit
more conservative.
944
00:50:02,110 --> 00:50:04,043
But it's very nice though.
945
00:50:04,110 --> 00:50:06,100
In you get.
946
00:50:10,277 --> 00:50:12,470
You know, Mr. Spiggott...
947
00:50:12,544 --> 00:50:16,204
you're really the first person who's
ever taken the trouble to talk to me.
948
00:50:16,278 --> 00:50:18,211
I like you...
949
00:50:18,278 --> 00:50:21,212
but you keep on doing
these terrible things.
950
00:50:21,279 --> 00:50:23,268
It's nothing personal.
951
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,142
Well, if you say so.
Good night, Stanley.
952
00:50:28,212 --> 00:50:30,974
Good night, Mr. Spiggott.
Call me George.
953
00:50:32,881 --> 00:50:34,871
Oh. Good night, George.
954
00:50:49,481 --> 00:50:51,447
Good...
955
00:50:53,115 --> 00:50:55,980
morning, Mr. Moon.
956
00:50:56,050 --> 00:51:00,142
- Morning?
- I've brought y'all somethin'.
957
00:51:03,551 --> 00:51:06,743
To eat.
Thank you.
958
00:51:12,684 --> 00:51:14,617
It's so hot in here.
959
00:51:14,685 --> 00:51:16,675
Whew!
960
00:51:20,052 --> 00:51:22,984
Would you, uh, help
me with my buttons?
961
00:51:23,052 --> 00:51:26,042
I seem to be all
thumbs this mornin'.
962
00:51:32,653 --> 00:51:34,586
Oh!
963
00:51:34,654 --> 00:51:38,381
I find clothes so constrictin'.
964
00:51:38,454 --> 00:51:41,886
We must allow our pores to breathe.
965
00:51:43,353 --> 00:51:46,217
That's better!
966
00:51:47,754 --> 00:51:49,982
Can you hear my pores breathe?
967
00:51:51,488 --> 00:51:53,457
Listen.
968
00:51:53,590 --> 00:51:56,455
Would you like a nibble?
969
00:51:56,524 --> 00:51:59,182
Why, you must be ravenous.
970
00:52:00,624 --> 00:52:02,989
Would you like orange juice?
971
00:52:03,058 --> 00:52:04,887
Um...
972
00:52:04,957 --> 00:52:06,889
Or...
973
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:10,446
a succulent, sun-ripe, whole...
974
00:52:10,526 --> 00:52:13,048
pineapple?
975
00:52:13,124 --> 00:52:16,614
But you have to be
careful of the prickles.
976
00:52:16,692 --> 00:52:20,887
Oh, I will.
Do you like it in bed?
977
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,221
Uh, uh, yes.
978
00:52:23,293 --> 00:52:26,417
Good. So do I!
979
00:52:29,528 --> 00:52:31,516
Look up there.
980
00:52:33,126 --> 00:52:36,615
Don't we make a pretty pair?
Yes.
981
00:52:36,693 --> 00:52:39,853
Coffee?
Um, yes.
982
00:52:39,927 --> 00:52:44,486
Strong, black and sweet.
983
00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:47,723
Two mountainous spoons full.
984
00:52:51,296 --> 00:52:54,056
Hot toast or buttered buns?
985
00:52:55,595 --> 00:53:00,528
- Either.
- Oh, I love a man who knows what he wants.
986
00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:03,960
Do you crave marmalade or honey?
987
00:53:05,697 --> 00:53:07,686
Honey.
988
00:53:11,598 --> 00:53:13,529
Ohh!
989
00:53:13,597 --> 00:53:18,689
I do so love the smell of
honey on a man's lips.
990
00:53:18,764 --> 00:53:21,698
Come on now, Lily.
991
00:53:21,765 --> 00:53:23,891
Up you get.
992
00:53:23,966 --> 00:53:27,454
Pick your clothes up. You're due
down at the Foreign Office.
993
00:53:34,131 --> 00:53:36,361
Good-bye, Mr. Moon.
994
00:53:36,434 --> 00:53:39,423
Let's get together soon.
995
00:53:41,067 --> 00:53:42,967
Um, who was that?
996
00:53:43,033 --> 00:53:46,626
Didn't she introduce herself? That's
Lilian Lust, the babe with the bust.
997
00:53:46,701 --> 00:53:49,826
Oh. She's quite nice, really.
998
00:53:49,902 --> 00:53:53,196
She's a very sweet, warm, wonderful
human being. I'll say that for her.
999
00:53:53,267 --> 00:53:56,429
Mmm. You know, I...
1000
00:53:56,502 --> 00:53:59,467
You're quite right. I do see things
much more clearly this morning.
1001
00:53:59,535 --> 00:54:01,297
Thought you would.
1002
00:54:01,369 --> 00:54:05,234
I was... thinking about that girl Lilian.
You know, she's...
1003
00:54:05,304 --> 00:54:07,632
Shh! Stanley.
1004
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:10,191
I wouldn't mess around with
married women if I were you.
1005
00:54:10,270 --> 00:54:12,759
Oh. She married?
Yes. Tragic business.
1006
00:54:12,836 --> 00:54:15,895
Completely incompatible.
You met the husband... Sloth.
1007
00:54:15,970 --> 00:54:18,061
So that's it then? She's out?
Afraid so.
1008
00:54:19,671 --> 00:54:23,398
But can I... can I be
someone who women...
1009
00:54:23,471 --> 00:54:26,368
yearn after and crave
for and lust after?
1010
00:54:26,437 --> 00:54:28,667
You'd like to be young
and sexy and dynamic...
1011
00:54:28,739 --> 00:54:31,205
and have beautiful women hurl
themselves at your feet.
1012
00:54:31,272 --> 00:54:34,261
Yeah, that's it. But most of
all, it's gotta be Margaret.
1013
00:54:34,338 --> 00:54:36,464
I want Margaret lusting after me.
1014
00:54:36,540 --> 00:54:39,700
I'll tell you what people go mad for
these days. That's your pop stars.
1015
00:54:39,773 --> 00:54:44,000
I can just see you, Stanley, standing
there in your skintight pants...
1016
00:54:44,073 --> 00:54:48,369
the music pounding, the women
screaming, Margaret laughing...
1017
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:52,236
the drums throbbing out with
their incessant animal beat!
1018
00:54:52,307 --> 00:54:57,002
Let me have it!
Julie Andrews!
1019
00:55:14,241 --> 00:55:16,232
Oh, Stanley!
1020
00:55:21,209 --> 00:55:23,142
Stanley!
1021
00:55:27,644 --> 00:55:29,338
Oh!
1022
00:55:32,977 --> 00:55:35,706
I love you, Stanley!
1023
00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:26,548
Oh, Stanley!
1024
00:56:40,784 --> 00:56:43,649
Oh!
1025
00:56:46,118 --> 00:56:50,779
And now, this year's most
exciting discovery...
1026
00:56:50,852 --> 00:56:53,750
Drimble Wedge and the Vegetation!
1027
00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:05,963
Oh!
Oh, hello, Stanley.
1028
00:59:06,031 --> 00:59:09,691
Nice to have you back so soon.
I won't be a moment.
1029
00:59:09,765 --> 00:59:12,596
Hello. You've just cut me off.
I was talking to Tokyo.
1030
00:59:14,932 --> 00:59:18,696
Do you really love me?
Of course I do, you jerk!
Get off my line!
1031
00:59:18,767 --> 00:59:21,754
I thought you were
supposed to be my friend.
1032
00:59:21,833 --> 00:59:23,766
All that talk.
1033
00:59:23,834 --> 00:59:26,163
Your bed and that
girl this morning.
1034
00:59:26,233 --> 00:59:29,927
You just put her there to get me all excited
and confused so I'd make the wrong decision.
1035
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,262
What happened?
What happened.
1036
00:59:32,334 --> 00:59:34,822
It finished before it started.
That's what happened.
1037
00:59:34,900 --> 00:59:39,559
They're like that these days, your
pop fans, aren't they? Very fickle.
1038
00:59:39,632 --> 00:59:41,895
Mrs. Fitch?
Speaking.
1039
00:59:41,967 --> 00:59:45,129
Abercrombie here.
I work with your husband.
Oh, yes?
1040
00:59:45,203 --> 00:59:49,362
I thought you'd like to know he's just checked
in to the Cheeseborough Hotel, Brighton...
1041
00:59:49,435 --> 00:59:51,369
with his secretary, Fiona.
1042
00:59:51,436 --> 00:59:56,266
- Good-bye.
- What a putrid thing to do.
1043
00:59:56,336 --> 00:59:58,995
Why did I get myself
into such a mess?
1044
00:59:59,069 --> 01:00:02,126
Let me answer that by
asking you a question.
1045
01:00:02,203 --> 01:00:06,102
In the words of the great
Zen master, Li Kwi Kwat...
1046
01:00:06,169 --> 01:00:08,999
"If you were hanging from a
cliff by your fingernails...
1047
01:00:09,069 --> 01:00:13,129
"and above you was a raging
tiger baring his fangs...
1048
01:00:13,206 --> 01:00:16,193
"and below you was the tiger's
mate, baring her fangs...
1049
01:00:16,271 --> 01:00:18,204
what would you do?"
1050
01:00:18,272 --> 01:00:20,600
What a stupid question!
1051
01:00:20,671 --> 01:00:24,695
Cliffs and tigers. I wouldn't get myself
into such a ridiculous situation.
1052
01:00:24,772 --> 01:00:27,932
Oh, of course not.
You've got the secret.
1053
01:00:28,005 --> 01:00:29,995
You're far better off.
1054
01:00:30,074 --> 01:00:32,698
Here you are, halfway up
a pole in Berkshire...
1055
01:00:32,773 --> 01:00:36,468
damned in the hereafter for
eternity, half your wishes gone.
1056
01:00:36,541 --> 01:00:40,200
You've nothing to learn from Li Kwi
Kwat and his tigers, have you?
1057
01:00:41,941 --> 01:00:44,500
Hello. Mrs. Phelps?
Hello. Yes?
1058
01:00:44,574 --> 01:00:46,631
Mrs.Jonathan Phelps?
Yes.
1059
01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:50,301
Mrs.Jonathan Phelps of 8 Puseley
Rise, Hounslow, Middlesex?
1060
01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:50,961
Yes.
1061
01:00:50,987 --> 01:00:53,331
Did I get you out of the
bath to answer the phone?
1062
01:00:53,374 --> 01:00:56,704
Yes, you did.
Sorry. Wrong number.
1063
01:00:58,109 --> 01:01:01,337
Your tricks are so bloomin' dismal.
1064
01:01:01,409 --> 01:01:04,206
I know, Stanley. Don't rub it in.
1065
01:01:04,277 --> 01:01:06,300
I've lost me spark.
1066
01:01:06,377 --> 01:01:08,865
There was a time when I
used to get lots of ideas.
1067
01:01:08,943 --> 01:01:11,671
I was creative, original.
1068
01:01:11,743 --> 01:01:14,436
I thought up the seven deadly
sins in one afternoon.
1069
01:01:14,510 --> 01:01:18,068
The only thing I've come up
with recently is advertising.
1070
01:01:18,144 --> 01:01:21,474
Blimey! We're due at Mrs. Wisby's.
Hurry up. Let's get changed.
1071
01:01:21,543 --> 01:01:25,033
You're so dull, the way
you go about things.
1072
01:01:25,112 --> 01:01:27,600
Everything you do is third-rate.
1073
01:01:27,678 --> 01:01:30,167
Pass me over me britches.
There's a good chap.
1074
01:01:30,246 --> 01:01:35,008
"Pass me my britches." The Prince of Darkness
changing his britches in a G.P.O. van.
1075
01:01:35,079 --> 01:01:38,533
What's the matter with you? Where's
your style? Use your magic powers.
1076
01:01:38,613 --> 01:01:42,909
I daren't waste those. I've got to save
all that up for my struggle with him.
1077
01:01:42,980 --> 01:01:45,004
I thought you were
supposed to be his equal.
1078
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:47,238
Huh! That'll be the day.
1079
01:01:47,313 --> 01:01:49,870
For a start, he's omnipresent.
What do you mean?
1080
01:01:49,946 --> 01:01:53,606
I only mean he's everywhere, all
over the world, at the same time.
1081
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:56,613
That's all I mean.
I'm just highly maneuverable.
1082
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:59,478
So he's in here right now.
Of course he is.
1083
01:01:59,548 --> 01:02:01,810
He's in the van. He's in the can.
1084
01:02:01,882 --> 01:02:04,145
He's up the trees.
He's in the breeze.
1085
01:02:04,216 --> 01:02:06,341
He's in your hair. He's everywhere.
1086
01:02:06,416 --> 01:02:09,676
Spying on you, peering at you,
listening to everything you say.
1087
01:02:09,747 --> 01:02:13,840
There's no privacy for anyone. Get out
of here while I'm changing, can't you?
1088
01:02:13,915 --> 01:02:16,347
You won't get anywhere by
shouting at him, you know.
1089
01:02:16,417 --> 01:02:20,850
You're quite right, of course.
I'll try the humble approach.
1090
01:02:20,917 --> 01:02:23,507
Excuse me, Your
Ineffable Hugeness.
1091
01:02:23,584 --> 01:02:26,573
I wonder if you'd be gracious enough
to step outside for a moment...
1092
01:02:26,650 --> 01:02:29,208
while we miserable worms
get our drawers on.
1093
01:02:29,283 --> 01:02:32,216
I can't say you sounded
very sincere, mate.
1094
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,415
Here! What's your game?
1095
01:02:36,485 --> 01:02:40,559
I wanted to give him a bit of a turn.
I saw him nestling in your trousers.
1096
01:02:46,393 --> 01:02:50,383
Good afternoon, madam.
We're the Froony Green Eyewash men.
1097
01:02:50,459 --> 01:02:53,984
Have you, by any chance, got 10 bottles
of Froony Green Eyewash in your house?
1098
01:02:54,060 --> 01:02:56,890
Oh, no. I'm afraid I haven't.
1099
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:00,187
Oh, what a pity, 'cause if you had
and could answer a simple question...
1100
01:03:00,259 --> 01:03:02,747
you'd have won a beautiful
silver tea service...
1101
01:03:02,827 --> 01:03:05,317
and a night on the town
with Alfred Hitchcock.
1102
01:03:05,395 --> 01:03:07,293
Oh, what a shame.
1103
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:10,849
Never mind.
Look, I'll tell you what.
1104
01:03:10,929 --> 01:03:12,918
Nobody will ever
know the difference.
1105
01:03:12,995 --> 01:03:17,792
Why don't you nip down to the shops,
buy 10 bottles of Froony Green Eyewash...
1106
01:03:17,863 --> 01:03:20,192
come back here as
quickly as you can...
1107
01:03:20,261 --> 01:03:22,624
and I'll pretend you
had them all the time.
1108
01:03:22,695 --> 01:03:25,662
You're very kind.
Hurry back now.
1109
01:03:27,162 --> 01:03:30,492
Let's get something to eat.
1110
01:03:30,564 --> 01:03:32,928
Let's see what we've got.
Very nice.
1111
01:03:32,997 --> 01:03:36,655
Raspberries, cream, sugar.
1112
01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:41,390
Ideal combination for a
lovely summer afternoon.
1113
01:03:43,697 --> 01:03:45,687
Oh, leave her a few.
1114
01:03:45,765 --> 01:03:47,754
I need them more than she does.
1115
01:03:47,832 --> 01:03:49,764
I'm so depressed.
1116
01:03:49,832 --> 01:03:52,992
This job, it's really
getting me down.
1117
01:03:53,065 --> 01:03:56,723
What have you... What have you
got to be depressed about?
1118
01:03:56,797 --> 01:03:58,787
I mean, look on the bright side.
1119
01:03:58,865 --> 01:04:02,490
Think of all your successes.
Sodom and Gomorrah.
1120
01:04:02,565 --> 01:04:05,261
Short-lived, Stanley. Short-lived.
1121
01:04:05,334 --> 01:04:08,027
Besides, as soon as I get a
really swinging scene going...
1122
01:04:08,101 --> 01:04:11,499
he butts in with his
fire and brimstone.
1123
01:04:11,568 --> 01:04:14,624
He's a very destructive,
unpredictable person.
1124
01:04:14,699 --> 01:04:17,428
Is that why you can't insure
against acts of God?
1125
01:04:17,501 --> 01:04:21,900
Exactly. As if that isn't enough, I've got
last-minute repentance to contend with.
1126
01:04:21,967 --> 01:04:25,299
- That doesn't sound too much of a threat.
- Not much of a threat?
1127
01:04:25,368 --> 01:04:28,697
Do you realize I can spend 50
or 60 years working on a client...
1128
01:04:28,768 --> 01:04:32,258
making him vain, greedy,
lustful, slothful, the lot...
1129
01:04:32,336 --> 01:04:35,632
and then just when he's breathing his
last, he goes and bloody repents?
1130
01:04:35,703 --> 01:04:37,999
- I lost Mussolini that way.
- Really?
1131
01:04:38,070 --> 01:04:42,230
At the moment they're putting the noose around
his neck, he says, "Scusi. Mille regrette."
1132
01:04:42,304 --> 01:04:44,236
Up he goes. Psst!
1133
01:04:48,071 --> 01:04:51,161
Here they are. Ten bottles
of Froony's Green Eyewash.
1134
01:04:51,237 --> 01:04:53,226
I just got in before they closed.
1135
01:04:53,304 --> 01:04:55,394
Well done, Mrs. Wisby.
1136
01:04:55,470 --> 01:04:58,997
Now all you have to do is answer
one very simple question.
1137
01:04:59,073 --> 01:05:01,004
- Are you ready?
- Yes.
1138
01:05:01,073 --> 01:05:03,095
How tall is the Duke of Edinburgh?
1139
01:05:03,172 --> 01:05:05,638
Oh, dear.
1140
01:05:05,706 --> 01:05:10,001
Let me see. I saw it somewhere.
Six foot one, is it?
1141
01:05:10,072 --> 01:05:12,470
Alas, no.
1142
01:05:12,539 --> 01:05:15,028
The correct answer
is six foot two...
1143
01:05:15,107 --> 01:05:17,801
and this means you've lost £10.
1144
01:05:17,874 --> 01:05:20,566
Terribly sorry, Mrs. Wisby.
Better luck next time.
1145
01:05:20,639 --> 01:05:23,298
Come on, Stanley. Off we go.
1146
01:05:24,876 --> 01:05:26,397
Good-bye!
1147
01:05:26,475 --> 01:05:29,202
That poor old lady.
How can you be so mean?
1148
01:05:29,273 --> 01:05:31,605
That grasping, greedy old bag?
1149
01:05:31,676 --> 01:05:34,073
She didn't mind the idea
of cheating Froony's.
1150
01:05:34,142 --> 01:05:37,131
Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you
something about Margaret Spencer.
1151
01:05:37,209 --> 01:05:39,937
What's that?
She's dead.
1152
01:05:40,009 --> 01:05:42,065
- No, she's not.
- No, she's not.
1153
01:05:42,143 --> 01:05:44,472
She's not?
No, she's alive.
1154
01:05:44,543 --> 01:05:46,508
Then why did you say that?
1155
01:05:46,575 --> 01:05:49,770
Malice. I'm a liar. I do it the
whole time. I can't help it.
1156
01:05:49,843 --> 01:05:52,639
Are you telling me that everything
you've ever said is a lie?
1157
01:05:52,710 --> 01:05:55,506
Everything I've ever told you
has been a lie, including that.
1158
01:05:55,578 --> 01:05:58,442
- Including what?
- That everything I've ever
told you has been a lie.
1159
01:05:58,511 --> 01:06:00,443
That's not true.
1160
01:06:00,511 --> 01:06:03,567
I don't know what to believe.
Not me, Stanley. Believe me.
1161
01:06:05,945 --> 01:06:09,775
Listen, you tell me one
thing, and it better be true.
1162
01:06:09,844 --> 01:06:12,572
What is Margaret Spencer
doing right now?
1163
01:06:13,644 --> 01:06:15,576
Scout's honor, Stanley.
1164
01:06:15,644 --> 01:06:17,942
She's with that powerfully
built Inspector Clark.
1165
01:06:18,013 --> 01:06:21,501
She's very concerned about you.
1166
01:06:21,580 --> 01:06:25,342
Oh, I'd like to be in the room with them.
Wish I was a fly on the wall.
1167
01:06:25,413 --> 01:06:27,311
Julie Andrews!
You rotten bas...
1168
01:06:27,379 --> 01:06:29,311
You've tricked me again!
1169
01:06:29,379 --> 01:06:31,311
That wasn't meant to be a wish!
1170
01:06:31,379 --> 01:06:34,346
I only did what you said.
Blow a raspberry.
1171
01:06:34,414 --> 01:06:36,346
Not yet.
I want to see what's going on.
1172
01:06:36,414 --> 01:06:38,403
And why are you here with me?
1173
01:06:38,482 --> 01:06:40,970
I want to protect you, Stanley.
I like you.
1174
01:06:41,048 --> 01:06:44,481
I'd hate to see you swatted.
Shut up. Here she comes.
1175
01:06:44,547 --> 01:06:47,037
Lovely weather we've been having.
Lovely.
1176
01:06:47,117 --> 01:06:49,105
Of course, we've been
kept pretty busy.
1177
01:06:49,182 --> 01:06:53,172
It's the summer frocks. I've had three
rapes on my hands this morning.
1178
01:06:53,249 --> 01:06:56,238
- Is that a lot?
- Oh, round about the seasonal average.
1179
01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:58,509
That's a nice dress you're wearing.
1180
01:06:58,583 --> 01:07:00,446
I don't like his attitude.
1181
01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:03,676
I've always had mixed
feelings about rape.
1182
01:07:09,817 --> 01:07:12,580
I mean, half the time,
it's the, uh... the girls...
1183
01:07:12,652 --> 01:07:14,879
that have led things on.
1184
01:07:14,952 --> 01:07:16,940
I agree with you.
1185
01:07:21,018 --> 01:07:24,381
They bring it on themselves,
you know. They really do.
1186
01:07:26,486 --> 01:07:29,316
I'm so happy he's not here.
1187
01:07:29,385 --> 01:07:33,409
But we must find him
before he kills himself.
1188
01:07:33,487 --> 01:07:35,316
She noticed me! She noticed me!
1189
01:07:35,386 --> 01:07:37,318
Well.
1190
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,310
Thank you, lads.
1191
01:07:41,887 --> 01:07:43,876
Not him?
1192
01:07:45,021 --> 01:07:48,010
Oh, it's cold in here.
1193
01:07:48,089 --> 01:07:50,747
He seemed a cut above the others.
1194
01:07:50,821 --> 01:07:52,981
There was something
different about him.
1195
01:07:53,056 --> 01:07:55,247
A special quality.
1196
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:58,310
He put so much into
those cheeseburgers.
1197
01:07:58,387 --> 01:08:00,250
He was a real artist.
1198
01:08:00,322 --> 01:08:02,846
Yes, but like so many of
your artistic types...
1199
01:08:02,923 --> 01:08:05,856
unable to cope with life, he
took the coward's way out.
1200
01:08:05,924 --> 01:08:07,583
He called me a coward!
1201
01:08:07,657 --> 01:08:10,952
The vice squad is having
a bit of a do tonight.
1202
01:08:11,023 --> 01:08:13,921
Would you like to come along?
Will I be allowed?
1203
01:08:13,991 --> 01:08:16,581
An outsider?
Of course!
1204
01:08:16,656 --> 01:08:19,282
They asked us to bring
along a girlfriend.
1205
01:08:19,357 --> 01:08:21,289
You'd soon feel at home.
1206
01:08:21,357 --> 01:08:24,846
I'm gonna break this up!
But you've never flown before.
1207
01:08:24,924 --> 01:08:26,982
You can't go up alone.
1208
01:08:27,059 --> 01:08:29,786
Oh, yes, I can.
I'll take him first. You follow.
1209
01:08:31,858 --> 01:08:34,849
The Vice Squad is usually having
a first-class get-together.
1210
01:08:34,926 --> 01:08:37,187
Flap them, Stanley!
1211
01:08:37,259 --> 01:08:39,589
Not your legs, your wings!
1212
01:08:41,260 --> 01:08:44,657
You've got lovely lips.
Very tempting and alluring.
1213
01:08:44,726 --> 01:08:46,955
"Lorelie lips" is what I call 'em.
1214
01:08:47,027 --> 01:08:50,081
Has anyone ever said that before?
No, never.
1215
01:08:50,159 --> 01:08:53,616
Here I come, Stanley!
I don't want to alarm you...
1216
01:08:53,694 --> 01:08:57,025
but I'd say that lips like that
would be a magnet to sex maniacs.
1217
01:08:57,094 --> 01:08:59,083
Really?
Oh!
1218
01:08:59,162 --> 01:09:01,720
Oh! Oh!
Damn flies!
1219
01:09:01,796 --> 01:09:06,057
Oh, it's a whopper!
Oh, let's get out of this fly trap.
1220
01:09:25,395 --> 01:09:28,885
Blow your raspberry.
1221
01:09:28,965 --> 01:09:31,759
I can't, with these
terrible fly's lips!
1222
01:09:31,830 --> 01:09:35,992
Quick, blow your raspberry!
1223
01:09:40,198 --> 01:09:42,687
She noticed me, George.
She noticed me.
1224
01:09:42,766 --> 01:09:45,824
I must have her before she goes to
that terrible vice party with the police.
1225
01:09:45,900 --> 01:09:49,457
- That's what I'm here for.
- I want her to be in love
with everything about me.
1226
01:09:49,533 --> 01:09:52,522
Madly in love with me!
Look, Stanley.
1227
01:09:52,601 --> 01:09:56,533
I feel terribly bad about the way
I've tricked you in the past.
1228
01:09:56,601 --> 01:10:00,625
I want to be nice to you this time. Really
nice to you. I mean it. I'd like to help you.
1229
01:10:01,367 --> 01:10:03,526
I've been thinking
about your problem.
1230
01:10:03,601 --> 01:10:06,624
What I think you need
is the simple life.
1231
01:10:06,701 --> 01:10:08,758
How does this strike you?
1232
01:10:08,834 --> 01:10:13,825
You and Margaret are both
warm, tender, loving people.
1233
01:10:13,903 --> 01:10:16,892
Picture a little cottage
in the country.
1234
01:10:16,970 --> 01:10:21,424
Two beautiful children are
playing in the sunlit garden.
1235
01:10:21,503 --> 01:10:24,730
Margaret's in the kitchen,
preparing the anniversary dinner.
1236
01:10:24,802 --> 01:10:27,291
She hears you drive up in the car.
1237
01:10:27,369 --> 01:10:29,858
She's madly in love with
you and you with her.
1238
01:10:29,936 --> 01:10:33,664
She's bursting with the anticipation
of seeing you at the end of the day.
1239
01:10:33,737 --> 01:10:36,726
By George, you've got it.
I think you've got it.
1240
01:10:36,804 --> 01:10:41,294
Julie Andrews
1241
01:10:41,371 --> 01:10:44,029
Darling! Mmm!
1242
01:10:49,205 --> 01:10:51,999
Hello, darling. Mmm.
Hello, darling.
1243
01:10:52,071 --> 01:10:55,233
Hope you don't mind me bringing Stanley along.
Oh, he's always welcome.
1244
01:10:55,306 --> 01:10:57,463
Would you like a drink, Stanley?
Please.
1245
01:10:57,538 --> 01:11:00,528
I'll do that. You sit down.
You've been coping with the kids all day.
1246
01:11:00,606 --> 01:11:03,629
Go on. Have a good sit-down. Relax.
What are you going to have? Your usual?
1247
01:11:03,706 --> 01:11:05,696
Yes, dear.
Right.
1248
01:11:05,774 --> 01:11:08,103
You know that, um...
that book I was reading?
1249
01:11:08,174 --> 01:11:11,163
The Spinoza Reassessment?
Yes.
1250
01:11:11,241 --> 01:11:14,002
I was thinking Stanley should have
a look at that. Fascinating.
1251
01:11:14,074 --> 01:11:16,539
Absolutely fascinating.
1252
01:11:16,607 --> 01:11:20,336
Here we are. Old Mr. Wine will
soon set you on your feet again.
1253
01:11:20,408 --> 01:11:23,965
What for you, Stanley?
Oh, I'll have the same as Margaret.
1254
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:26,269
Same as Margaret. Wine.
1255
01:11:26,342 --> 01:11:30,001
I bet you thought I'd
forgotten what day it was.
1256
01:11:30,075 --> 01:11:33,804
How awful of me. I forgot.
1257
01:11:33,877 --> 01:11:37,638
Don't be silly.
You've got so much on your mind.
1258
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:40,198
Who cares about a silly
old anniversary?
1259
01:11:40,277 --> 01:11:42,708
What matters is we love each other.
1260
01:11:42,778 --> 01:11:46,302
Do you know, Stanley, we've been married
seven years? It's our wooden wedding.
1261
01:11:46,378 --> 01:11:49,139
Incredible.
I got a little something for you.
1262
01:11:49,211 --> 01:11:51,575
Oh!
From my heart.
1263
01:11:51,645 --> 01:11:53,872
Darling. Oh.
1264
01:11:55,977 --> 01:11:58,171
Here's to our marriage.
1265
01:11:58,245 --> 01:12:00,474
Here's to all of us.
1266
01:12:00,546 --> 01:12:02,478
Cheers.
Cheers.
1267
01:12:02,546 --> 01:12:04,535
Cheers.
1268
01:12:04,613 --> 01:12:07,636
I'll go and get that book.
1269
01:12:09,747 --> 01:12:13,235
I forgot our wedding anniversary.
Don't be upset.
1270
01:12:13,312 --> 01:12:16,710
I feel so dreadful!
Oh, darling...
1271
01:12:16,780 --> 01:12:19,770
Here we are.
See what you make of it.
1272
01:12:19,847 --> 01:12:22,335
We can discuss it at next
week's tutorial. Fine.
1273
01:12:22,413 --> 01:12:24,902
I must get on with the cooking.
Don't you do a thing.
1274
01:12:24,981 --> 01:12:29,107
You sit down, relax and enjoy your drink.
I'll do the supper tonight.
1275
01:12:29,181 --> 01:12:32,170
I feel a bit of an intruder,
your anniversary and everything.
1276
01:12:32,247 --> 01:12:35,271
You're not an intruder.
You're very welcome. Isn't he, Margaret?
1277
01:12:35,349 --> 01:12:37,439
Well, I ought to be off anyway.
1278
01:12:37,515 --> 01:12:40,948
I want to catch the Giotto exhibition.
What time's the next bus to Oxford?
1279
01:12:41,016 --> 01:12:43,811
Are you going to that?
I've got a great idea.
1280
01:12:43,882 --> 01:12:47,542
Margaret, why don't you drive Stanley?
You can see it together.
1281
01:12:47,617 --> 01:12:50,277
- You've been longing to see that.
It's the last day.
- I can't.
1282
01:12:50,351 --> 01:12:53,078
- There's the supper, the kids to put to bed.
- I'll do all that.
1283
01:12:53,151 --> 01:12:56,140
It'll be your present to me. Really.
1284
01:12:56,217 --> 01:12:58,149
You are sweet, darling.
1285
01:12:58,217 --> 01:13:01,378
- Go on. Enjoy yourself
and come back for supper.
- Are you sure?
1286
01:13:01,452 --> 01:13:04,883
Absolutely positive.
Hello, darlings!
1287
01:13:04,950 --> 01:13:06,940
Up into Daddy's arms.
1288
01:13:07,018 --> 01:13:09,109
Bye-bye.
Say bye-bye to Mommy. Bye-bye.
1289
01:13:09,185 --> 01:13:12,173
Look after Daddy, darlings.
Look after Margaret, Stanley.
1290
01:13:12,252 --> 01:13:16,379
I will. Have a good time.
Blow a kiss to Mommy.
1291
01:13:16,453 --> 01:13:18,975
Bye-bye! Bye-bye!
1292
01:13:27,521 --> 01:13:31,009
Do you think he knows?
It would never occur to him.
1293
01:13:34,088 --> 01:13:36,019
Oh.
1294
01:13:39,187 --> 01:13:41,655
He's such a marvelous man.
1295
01:13:41,723 --> 01:13:45,881
The way he brings
philosophy to life.
1296
01:13:45,954 --> 01:13:49,718
Oh, he couldn't be a
better husband or father.
1297
01:13:49,789 --> 01:13:53,382
Or teacher. He's a saint.
1298
01:13:55,690 --> 01:13:57,950
He's the only man I know...
1299
01:13:58,022 --> 01:14:00,818
who actually lives
up to his ideals.
1300
01:14:00,890 --> 01:14:03,481
He's such an example to us all.
1301
01:14:07,457 --> 01:14:10,049
The children worship him.
1302
01:14:10,124 --> 01:14:13,147
He's more of a god
than a human being.
1303
01:14:13,225 --> 01:14:15,816
If only he weren't so good.
1304
01:14:15,892 --> 01:14:18,290
If only he had one tiny flaw.
1305
01:14:18,359 --> 01:14:20,689
We must stop thinking about him...
1306
01:14:20,757 --> 01:14:23,986
and think more of ourselves!
1307
01:14:25,792 --> 01:14:28,384
But it would kill him if he knew.
1308
01:14:28,459 --> 01:14:32,482
I feel as if I'm being torn apart.
1309
01:14:36,927 --> 01:14:40,188
My darling.
My precious darling.
1310
01:14:41,761 --> 01:14:44,386
We c... We can't...
1311
01:14:44,461 --> 01:14:46,620
We can't keep on denying ourselves.
1312
01:14:46,694 --> 01:14:49,286
All these years we've
been married...
1313
01:14:49,362 --> 01:14:51,521
he's never said a cross word.
1314
01:14:51,595 --> 01:14:53,583
When I was ill...
1315
01:14:53,663 --> 01:14:57,594
he came to my room...
1316
01:14:57,661 --> 01:15:00,322
and he gave me some soup...
1317
01:15:00,397 --> 01:15:02,329
he made!
1318
01:15:02,397 --> 01:15:07,091
Oh, Stanley!
How can we do this to him?
1319
01:15:08,197 --> 01:15:10,323
I love you.
1320
01:15:10,397 --> 01:15:12,862
And I love you.
1321
01:15:12,930 --> 01:15:17,919
It... It can't hurt him
if he doesn't know.
1322
01:15:17,997 --> 01:15:20,896
I... I want... I want...
1323
01:15:20,964 --> 01:15:23,328
I want to give you my love...
1324
01:15:23,398 --> 01:15:28,059
in the best, most...
most beautiful way.
1325
01:15:35,099 --> 01:15:38,088
Oh. Oh.
1326
01:15:38,166 --> 01:15:40,462
Ow!
1327
01:15:40,534 --> 01:15:44,193
What? What is it?
1328
01:15:44,266 --> 01:15:47,755
It's his pipe. His favorite pipe.
1329
01:15:47,834 --> 01:15:50,391
But, Margaret,
don't be upset, please.
1330
01:15:50,467 --> 01:15:52,659
And we were going to...
1331
01:15:52,734 --> 01:15:54,893
On his favorite pipe!
1332
01:15:56,801 --> 01:15:58,734
The whole thing's impossible!
1333
01:15:58,801 --> 01:16:00,666
No, Margaret!
Go. Just go!
1334
01:16:00,736 --> 01:16:03,225
We must never see each
other again, for his sake.
1335
01:16:03,302 --> 01:16:06,598
Margaret, please.
Please, Margaret! Oh!
1336
01:16:06,668 --> 01:16:11,567
Margaret, please!
Margaret, I beg of you!
1337
01:16:11,634 --> 01:16:14,864
Wh...
1338
01:16:24,437 --> 01:16:26,800
Ohh.
Hello, Stanley.
1339
01:16:26,870 --> 01:16:28,802
Hold this.
1340
01:16:28,870 --> 01:16:30,802
Whatever you say, George.
1341
01:16:30,870 --> 01:16:32,802
You sound down in the dumps.
1342
01:16:32,870 --> 01:16:34,803
Why not?
1343
01:16:34,871 --> 01:16:38,201
You painted a beautiful dream
and shoved me into a nightmare.
1344
01:16:38,272 --> 01:16:41,501
You should never believe the ads.
Shine the light up a bit.
1345
01:16:41,573 --> 01:16:43,730
What are you doing now?
1346
01:16:43,806 --> 01:16:47,829
Just putting a tiny little
ventilation hole in this oil tanker.
1347
01:16:49,239 --> 01:16:51,670
Up we go.
1348
01:16:52,907 --> 01:16:55,430
That Nicholas was so sickening...
1349
01:16:55,507 --> 01:16:59,734
with all his blasted
sweetness and... ugh!
1350
01:16:59,807 --> 01:17:01,797
I know what you mean, Stanley.
1351
01:17:01,874 --> 01:17:04,703
Most of the saints throughout history
have been a pain in the neck.
1352
01:17:04,773 --> 01:17:08,002
Give me a hand with these bottles, would you?
I'm due down in Fleet Street.
1353
01:17:08,074 --> 01:17:10,063
You can't stop, can you, eh?
1354
01:17:10,140 --> 01:17:12,835
As a matter of fact, I will very soon.
My job's almost done.
1355
01:17:12,909 --> 01:17:14,842
What do you mean?
1356
01:17:14,910 --> 01:17:18,468
I was up in heaven a few thousand years
ago, having a summit conference with God.
1357
01:17:18,544 --> 01:17:20,872
I was putting forward
a few new proposals.
1358
01:17:20,942 --> 01:17:23,374
You go up there every now and again?
Yes.
1359
01:17:23,443 --> 01:17:25,703
We were having a giggle
about Job actually.
1360
01:17:25,775 --> 01:17:30,175
That poor bloke you gave all the boils to and
burnt his home and destroyed his family?
1361
01:17:30,243 --> 01:17:34,072
That's right. God thought it would be a
good idea if I tested Job's faith...
1362
01:17:34,142 --> 01:17:36,406
with a few diseases and disasters.
1363
01:17:36,478 --> 01:17:38,468
You didn't win, though, did you, eh?
1364
01:17:38,545 --> 01:17:42,034
In spite of all you did to him, he
still believed that God was good.
1365
01:17:42,111 --> 01:17:44,872
Well, Job was what you'd
technically describe as a loony.
1366
01:17:44,944 --> 01:17:47,739
But as I pointed out
to God at the time...
1367
01:17:47,813 --> 01:17:51,540
for every job or soul that
he lands, I get two.
1368
01:17:51,612 --> 01:17:53,976
I was two billion ahead already.
1369
01:17:54,045 --> 01:17:56,376
You make it sound
like a blooming game.
1370
01:17:56,446 --> 01:17:58,378
That's precisely what it is...
1371
01:17:58,446 --> 01:18:01,774
and the first one to reach a hundred
billion souls is the winner.
1372
01:18:01,846 --> 01:18:05,904
He doesn't stand a chance actually.
I've only got six to go.
1373
01:18:05,980 --> 01:18:08,139
What happens when you get them?
1374
01:18:08,214 --> 01:18:10,806
Oh, when I've won... when I've won...
1375
01:18:10,881 --> 01:18:13,473
the world will be in such a
rotten, stinking mess...
1376
01:18:13,547 --> 01:18:15,538
that it can get on without me.
1377
01:18:15,615 --> 01:18:20,012
I'll go back to heaven, sit on God's right
hand and be his favorite angel again.
1378
01:18:20,080 --> 01:18:25,070
It must be very nice for you to go back
to heaven, but... what will happen to me?
1379
01:18:25,148 --> 01:18:28,081
Don't worry, Stanley.
Your future's assured.
1380
01:18:28,149 --> 01:18:30,082
Um, George...
1381
01:18:32,150 --> 01:18:34,878
I don't want to go on with
the rest of my wishes.
1382
01:18:34,951 --> 01:18:38,676
I can't find happiness like this.
You're always too clever for me.
1383
01:18:38,749 --> 01:18:41,445
So, um, I'll be running along...
1384
01:18:41,517 --> 01:18:44,245
and, uh, I'll see you sometime, eh?
1385
01:18:50,717 --> 01:18:53,547
Stanley, I can't let
you go in this mood.
1386
01:18:53,617 --> 01:18:56,675
Let's cancel my appointment.
I'm ahead of schedule, in any case.
1387
01:18:56,751 --> 01:18:59,843
No, I can't interrupt your work.
What are friends for?
1388
01:18:59,918 --> 01:19:03,686
I'll round up Avarice and Gluttony, two
lovely girls. The afternoon's on me.
1389
01:19:03,818 --> 01:19:07,216
Whee!
1390
01:19:07,286 --> 01:19:09,775
Oh, eat up, Stanley!
1391
01:19:09,854 --> 01:19:12,545
Come on, Stanley. Stick one in
Jane Russell and win a goldfish.
1392
01:19:12,618 --> 01:19:14,915
No.
1393
01:19:14,986 --> 01:19:18,748
You have a go, Gluttony.
Chuck 'em. Don't eat 'em.
1394
01:19:18,819 --> 01:19:21,911
This is how Garibaldi lost his life.
1395
01:19:21,987 --> 01:19:26,386
Enjoying yourself, Stanley?
You know I can't stand heights, George.
1396
01:19:27,553 --> 01:19:31,146
Up, up, up, up!
Having fun, Stanley?
1397
01:19:34,288 --> 01:19:35,914
Bang!
1398
01:19:38,454 --> 01:19:41,649
Another 10 shillings gone.
Don't worry about that, Avarice.
1399
01:19:41,722 --> 01:19:44,916
Whee!
1400
01:19:48,290 --> 01:19:50,756
Enjoying yourself, Stanley?
1401
01:19:50,822 --> 01:19:54,448
That's three pounds-seven and nine
pence without Gluttony's sweets.
1402
01:19:56,858 --> 01:19:58,720
George, take me out
of here, will you?
1403
01:19:58,791 --> 01:20:01,449
Enough, George, is enough.
1404
01:20:01,523 --> 01:20:03,514
We didn't need to take a taxi.
1405
01:20:03,591 --> 01:20:06,558
Nothing's too much for
my friend Stanley.
1406
01:20:06,624 --> 01:20:09,784
Thank you very much for this
afternoon, George, but, um...
1407
01:20:09,858 --> 01:20:12,347
I don't think it's
really helped, you know.
1408
01:20:12,424 --> 01:20:15,790
I still don't want to go on with it.
But you were so nearly there.
1409
01:20:15,860 --> 01:20:19,848
She loved you, you loved her.
You just left me one little loophole.
1410
01:20:19,926 --> 01:20:23,484
I had to take advantage of it.
Doctor's orders.
1411
01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:27,820
Next time you must specify,
really spell things out in detail.
1412
01:20:27,892 --> 01:20:30,552
I can't think straight anymore.
1413
01:20:30,626 --> 01:20:34,252
Take your time.
Have another lie-down in my room.
1414
01:20:34,327 --> 01:20:38,283
Yeah, and then you put Lust
in the bed just to confuse me.
1415
01:20:38,361 --> 01:20:41,920
I promise you, Lust
won't be there.
1416
01:20:45,561 --> 01:20:47,493
Hello.
1417
01:20:47,561 --> 01:20:50,120
Oh, excuse me. I thought this
was Mr. Spiggott's bedroom.
1418
01:20:50,196 --> 01:20:52,957
How right you were. It is.
1419
01:20:53,030 --> 01:20:56,985
Oh. Well, he must have made a mistake.
He said I could use it.
1420
01:20:57,063 --> 01:20:59,961
Oh, you're his new little
favorite, are you?
1421
01:21:00,030 --> 01:21:01,998
I'm Stanley Moon. Who are you?
1422
01:21:02,064 --> 01:21:04,961
They call me Envy.
1423
01:21:05,030 --> 01:21:07,826
Not a very attractive name, is it?
1424
01:21:07,898 --> 01:21:12,353
I always wanted to be called Vanity.
Never mind. I'm stuck with it.
1425
01:21:12,430 --> 01:21:15,454
How is Mr. Spiggott these days?
1426
01:21:15,532 --> 01:21:18,226
Quite well.
He may be leaving soon.
1427
01:21:18,300 --> 01:21:20,289
Charming.
1428
01:21:20,365 --> 01:21:22,957
I'm always the last to be told.
1429
01:21:23,032 --> 01:21:25,828
It's funny how he's always
too busy for me...
1430
01:21:25,899 --> 01:21:29,490
but he's never too
busy for Lust, ducky.
1431
01:21:29,565 --> 01:21:32,088
He's at her beck and bloody call.
1432
01:21:32,167 --> 01:21:35,224
Look, what are you doing
in George's bedroom?
1433
01:21:35,301 --> 01:21:38,132
Oh, it's "George," is it?
1434
01:21:38,201 --> 01:21:40,597
Good friends, I suppose.
1435
01:21:40,667 --> 01:21:44,828
If you want to know why I'm in his
bedroom, go and take a look at mine.
1436
01:21:44,901 --> 01:21:47,129
What's wrong with it?
What's right with it?
1437
01:21:47,201 --> 01:21:49,861
For a start, it's half the
size of all the others.
1438
01:21:49,934 --> 01:21:53,197
Wallpaper's peeling off, and it's
miles from the nearest convenience.
1439
01:21:53,269 --> 01:21:56,928
Of course, Lust and Gluttony are
right next door to the bathroom.
1440
01:21:57,002 --> 01:21:59,264
Nothing's too good for them.
1441
01:21:59,336 --> 01:22:01,825
Well, I suppose Lust and Gluttony...
1442
01:22:01,902 --> 01:22:04,926
really have to be rather
near the bathroom.
1443
01:22:05,003 --> 01:22:08,560
You're on the seven-wishes
bit, aren't you, dear?
1444
01:22:08,636 --> 01:22:12,296
Yeah, but it doesn't seem
to be doing me much good.
1445
01:22:12,370 --> 01:22:16,132
Although George said if I really specified
the personality, I'd be all right.
1446
01:22:16,203 --> 01:22:19,033
Don't you believe it, cherub.
1447
01:22:19,103 --> 01:22:21,591
He may think he's the
cat's whiskers...
1448
01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:25,901
but there's one person who
can run rings round him.
1449
01:22:26,181 --> 01:22:28,029
Who do you mean?
1450
01:22:30,114 --> 01:22:31,473
God?
1451
01:22:31,652 --> 01:22:36,965
Old creepy drawers can't
hold a candle to him.
1452
01:22:37,039 --> 01:22:41,131
I think you've got me this time, Stanley.
Let me get it quite clear.
1453
01:22:41,205 --> 01:22:45,138
I want to be a warm,
loving, tender person...
1454
01:22:45,206 --> 01:22:47,832
and Margaret exactly the same.
1455
01:22:47,906 --> 01:22:51,898
I want all the fun of meeting her for the
first time and falling in love with her.
1456
01:22:51,976 --> 01:22:55,804
I love her, and she loves me.
We're in love forever.
1457
01:22:55,875 --> 01:22:58,534
Surroundings?
1458
01:22:58,608 --> 01:23:01,540
Serene and far removed...
1459
01:23:01,608 --> 01:23:04,597
from the false glitter...
1460
01:23:04,676 --> 01:23:08,972
the raucous music and the neon
lights of this modern world.
1461
01:23:09,043 --> 01:23:14,339
We're both young, white
and in perfect health.
1462
01:23:14,409 --> 01:23:17,739
Stanley, I've gotta hand it to you.
1463
01:23:17,809 --> 01:23:20,537
That's real specifying.
1464
01:23:20,610 --> 01:23:24,668
You've come up with the one formula
that I, as the devil, really dread...
1465
01:23:24,744 --> 01:23:27,642
mutual love and spiritual values.
1466
01:23:27,711 --> 01:23:31,007
I want peace and quiet...
1467
01:23:31,078 --> 01:23:34,474
and... and no other men in her life.
1468
01:23:34,544 --> 01:23:37,943
Julie Andrews.
1469
01:23:42,979 --> 01:23:45,242
Shh!
1470
01:23:47,179 --> 01:23:49,941
Welcome to the Berelian
Order, Sister Luna.
1471
01:23:50,013 --> 01:23:53,445
Until you are initiated, you
will wear the habit of a novice.
1472
01:23:53,513 --> 01:23:56,344
We must speak no more.
1473
01:25:51,057 --> 01:25:53,684
The order of the Leaping
Berelians is new...
1474
01:25:53,758 --> 01:25:56,021
and nondenominational.
1475
01:25:56,091 --> 01:25:59,217
Our patron, Beryl of Sussex,
was a simple shepherdess.
1476
01:25:59,291 --> 01:26:02,747
One afternoon she saw a vision
in the sky which beckoned her.
1477
01:26:02,825 --> 01:26:05,849
Dropping her crook, she
leapt towards the vision...
1478
01:26:05,926 --> 01:26:09,414
which, ever receding and ever
beckoning, urged her upwards...
1479
01:26:09,492 --> 01:26:11,857
until she disappeared
into the clouds.
1480
01:26:11,927 --> 01:26:14,414
This miracle was witnessed
by a two-year-old child...
1481
01:26:14,492 --> 01:26:18,949
who ran to the spot and picked up Beryl's
shoes that had fallen to the Earth.
1482
01:26:19,026 --> 01:26:21,823
That child founded this order...
1483
01:26:21,895 --> 01:26:24,453
whose Sisters have taken
a vow of silence...
1484
01:26:24,529 --> 01:26:27,858
until such time as Beryl
of Sussex is canonized...
1485
01:26:27,928 --> 01:26:32,758
and recognized by the people of the
world for her tremendous feat.
1486
01:26:49,863 --> 01:26:53,796
What is this feeling
that overwhelms me?
1487
01:26:53,863 --> 01:26:56,021
It is something new and strange.
1488
01:26:56,096 --> 01:27:00,120
It is love, oh, my most cherished.
I see it in your eyes.
1489
01:27:00,197 --> 01:27:04,994
This is love profane. Must be sin
in me that so confounds my senses.
1490
01:27:05,065 --> 01:27:07,793
There is no sin in love, my darling.
1491
01:27:07,865 --> 01:27:10,295
And I love you for all eternity.
1492
01:27:10,365 --> 01:27:13,763
Margaret.
You know my name.
1493
01:27:13,833 --> 01:27:15,764
What magic is afoot?
1494
01:27:15,832 --> 01:27:19,958
Our love is written in the book
of fate. There is no escaping it.
1495
01:27:20,032 --> 01:27:22,021
This can't be right...
1496
01:27:22,099 --> 01:27:26,500
and yet, within my breast
beats such desire.
1497
01:27:26,567 --> 01:27:29,499
Don't be afraid. Just trust in me.
1498
01:27:29,566 --> 01:27:31,864
Allow your heart to speak.
1499
01:28:19,206 --> 01:28:22,262
You must go through with the initiation
ceremony to show your faith.
1500
01:28:22,339 --> 01:28:26,829
But I'm afraid of heights.
Show your courage in your leaping.
1501
01:29:49,913 --> 01:29:54,177
I didn't go to vespers.
I had to see if you were all right.
1502
01:29:54,248 --> 01:29:57,213
Oh, Margaret, my precious.
At last we're alone. We can speak.
1503
01:29:57,281 --> 01:30:00,112
But only this once.
1504
01:30:00,182 --> 01:30:03,511
Whatever it is that draws us
together we must cast out.
1505
01:30:03,581 --> 01:30:05,844
It is unnatural and wrong.
1506
01:30:05,916 --> 01:30:09,040
How can it be wrong if
we love each other?
1507
01:30:09,115 --> 01:30:11,082
It is wrong...
1508
01:30:11,148 --> 01:30:14,114
and I'm so ashamed to break my vow.
1509
01:30:14,182 --> 01:30:17,411
I came here to find
peace and quiet...
1510
01:30:17,483 --> 01:30:19,473
and faith.
1511
01:30:19,551 --> 01:30:22,778
And have you found it?
Not yet.
1512
01:30:22,850 --> 01:30:25,079
However hard I try...
1513
01:30:25,150 --> 01:30:27,776
I can't believe that God exists.
1514
01:30:27,851 --> 01:30:30,510
But he does exist.
I know that for certain.
1515
01:30:30,584 --> 01:30:34,176
How can you be so sure?
Because I've met the devil.
1516
01:30:34,251 --> 01:30:36,717
The devil?
Yeah.
1517
01:30:36,783 --> 01:30:40,683
Let me tell you what happened to me.
I used to be a man.
1518
01:30:40,752 --> 01:30:44,480
My name was Stanley Moon,
and I was a short order cook.
1519
01:30:44,553 --> 01:30:47,951
I was very much in love with you,
but I was too shy to tell you.
1520
01:30:48,020 --> 01:30:50,713
I've never seen you before today.
1521
01:30:50,785 --> 01:30:54,047
I got so miserable that
I tried to kill myself.
1522
01:30:54,120 --> 01:30:57,847
And then George came along and
offered me seven wishes for my soul.
1523
01:30:57,920 --> 01:31:00,682
Who's George?
Well, he's the devil.
1524
01:31:00,753 --> 01:31:05,187
We're very good friends. He's not so bad
when you understand his problems.
1525
01:31:05,255 --> 01:31:07,220
That's why I keep going...
1526
01:31:07,288 --> 01:31:09,219
'Cause I usually
disappear when I go...
1527
01:31:09,287 --> 01:31:13,312
I find that as hard to believe as
all that about Beryl and her leap.
1528
01:31:13,389 --> 01:31:16,617
But it's true, and I've
got one wish to go.
1529
01:31:16,689 --> 01:31:19,656
I can't think what's
happened to George. Look.
1530
01:31:19,723 --> 01:31:21,882
You see? Nothing.
1531
01:31:21,956 --> 01:31:24,750
I just hope it's not too late.
1532
01:31:26,257 --> 01:31:29,709
I love you, Margaret.
And I love you, Sister Luna.
1533
01:31:29,789 --> 01:31:32,914
And my love will last forever.
1534
01:31:32,989 --> 01:31:36,388
But it can never be... fulfilled.
1535
01:31:38,959 --> 01:31:42,049
I must find George before
he goes to heaven.
1536
01:31:43,126 --> 01:31:45,182
Good evening, Sister.
1537
01:31:56,126 --> 01:31:59,525
We gave already!
Let me in! Let me in!
1538
01:32:02,395 --> 01:32:05,155
Take that, you great git!
1539
01:32:05,227 --> 01:32:08,625
Huh. Sorry, Father.
1540
01:32:10,693 --> 01:32:14,853
Can I be of any help? Oh!
1541
01:32:14,927 --> 01:32:17,019
Wake up, George!
1542
01:32:17,094 --> 01:32:19,561
George, wake up.
1543
01:32:19,629 --> 01:32:21,957
Thank goodness you're still here.
1544
01:32:22,028 --> 01:32:26,653
I was just having a bit of
a nap before the party.
1545
01:32:26,728 --> 01:32:29,628
I've done it.
I've got me hundred billion.
1546
01:32:29,695 --> 01:32:32,753
Oh, congratulations.
Look, what went wrong?
1547
01:32:32,830 --> 01:32:36,160
I blew my raspberry hundreds of
times, and nothing happened.
1548
01:32:36,230 --> 01:32:39,220
I still got one more wish to go, you know.
How'd you figure that out?
1549
01:32:39,298 --> 01:32:43,093
I was the intellectual, I was Sir
Stanley Moon, the businessman...
1550
01:32:43,163 --> 01:32:47,187
I was the fly, the pop singer, the
student, and this one makes six.
1551
01:32:47,263 --> 01:32:51,060
What about the Frobisher and Gleason
raspberry-flavored ice lolly?
1552
01:32:51,131 --> 01:32:55,064
- That didn't count!
- Of course it did.
It was a wish, wasn't it?
1553
01:32:55,133 --> 01:32:57,189
That reminds me.
1554
01:32:57,265 --> 01:32:59,254
I owe you sixpence.
1555
01:33:01,165 --> 01:33:03,358
Here we are. Now we're even.
1556
01:33:03,432 --> 01:33:06,399
Then I'm stuck as a woman?
As a nun.
1557
01:33:06,467 --> 01:33:09,728
You should have specified the sex.
1558
01:33:14,301 --> 01:33:18,392
You've won, haven't you, George? Well, if
I can't have Margaret, I'll kill myself.
1559
01:33:18,467 --> 01:33:21,797
Sorry, Stanley. It's
out of the question.
1560
01:33:21,867 --> 01:33:24,663
Whatever you are on your last
wish you remain forever.
1561
01:33:55,404 --> 01:33:59,030
Isn't this a terrific party?
1562
01:33:59,105 --> 01:34:03,060
Terrific for some, ducky.
Look at the lousy table I've got.
1563
01:34:25,273 --> 01:34:27,762
Come on, sweetie. Let's dance.
1564
01:34:27,841 --> 01:34:30,136
No, thank you.
1565
01:34:39,276 --> 01:34:41,900
You're going now, George?
Yes, Stanley.
1566
01:34:41,976 --> 01:34:44,498
I thought I'd just
sneak away quietly.
1567
01:34:44,575 --> 01:34:46,509
I don't want to spoil the party.
1568
01:34:46,576 --> 01:34:49,804
Well, um, I hope you get back in...
1569
01:34:49,875 --> 01:34:51,864
you know, upstairs.
1570
01:34:51,942 --> 01:34:54,000
Thank you very much.
1571
01:34:54,076 --> 01:34:57,406
Apart from Margaret, you're the only
person I've ever enjoyed talking to.
1572
01:34:57,477 --> 01:35:01,807
Now you're going, and,
well, I can't talk to her.
1573
01:35:01,877 --> 01:35:03,843
Um, I'll rather miss you.
1574
01:35:03,910 --> 01:35:06,241
I'll miss you too, Stanley.
1575
01:35:06,312 --> 01:35:10,641
You know, looking around
the party at everybody...
1576
01:35:10,711 --> 01:35:14,507
all of them trying to be something
they weren't in the first place...
1577
01:35:14,578 --> 01:35:18,670
all I want to be is me, what
I was before I met you.
1578
01:35:18,745 --> 01:35:22,838
But that's impossible.
You can't be that without your soul.
1579
01:35:22,912 --> 01:35:27,640
Being me didn't seem like
very much at the time.
1580
01:35:27,712 --> 01:35:31,975
Well, it wasn't very much, but it's a
good deal better than the alternatives.
1581
01:35:34,048 --> 01:35:38,276
I'd give... anything
to be myself again.
1582
01:35:39,682 --> 01:35:43,595
But I don't have anything
to give, really, do I?
1583
01:35:45,329 --> 01:35:47,319
Look, I'll tell you what, Stanley.
1584
01:35:47,397 --> 01:35:50,193
I've got me hundred billion
souls and a few to spare.
1585
01:35:50,263 --> 01:35:54,026
I don't really need yours. It's not much of
a catch. I can give it to you back again.
1586
01:35:54,097 --> 01:35:56,358
Is it possible?
1587
01:35:56,430 --> 01:36:00,262
It's never been done before.
It's a very magnanimous gesture.
1588
01:36:00,332 --> 01:36:03,819
In fact, it's a glorious gesture.
1589
01:36:03,897 --> 01:36:06,330
Part of my new image. Here we are.
1590
01:36:06,399 --> 01:36:08,694
I knew you weren't all bad.
1591
01:36:08,765 --> 01:36:11,697
Of course not. I've just been
thoroughly misunderstood.
1592
01:36:11,765 --> 01:36:14,789
Now, then take this, burn it
up, and when it's all gone...
1593
01:36:14,866 --> 01:36:16,855
you'll be Stanley Moon again...
1594
01:36:16,933 --> 01:36:20,921
short order chef,
Caucasian, 28, male.
1595
01:36:20,999 --> 01:36:23,931
And what about Margaret?
She'll be at Wimpy's as usual.
1596
01:36:23,999 --> 01:36:27,024
Nobody will know that any
of this has ever happened.
1597
01:36:27,101 --> 01:36:30,260
You're an angel, George.
Here's hoping.
1598
01:36:30,334 --> 01:36:33,994
Do me a favor, Stanley. Look after the party
for me. See everybody has a good time.
1599
01:36:34,068 --> 01:36:36,261
When that's done, it's over to you.
1600
01:36:36,335 --> 01:36:38,323
I'll do my best.
1601
01:36:42,935 --> 01:36:45,765
Bye, George.
Bye, Stanley.
1602
01:37:09,938 --> 01:37:13,564
Hello, my good man. Are you Saint Peter?
Yes.
1603
01:37:13,638 --> 01:37:16,069
I'd like to see God, please.
Who shall I say is calling?
1604
01:37:16,137 --> 01:37:18,071
Oh, come on. You know me.
1605
01:37:18,138 --> 01:37:20,502
Beelzebub, Lucifer,
Prince of Darkness.
1606
01:37:20,573 --> 01:37:23,096
Have you an appointment?
He's always got time for me.
1607
01:37:23,173 --> 01:37:26,105
I'll just see if he's...
Don't say you'll just see if he's in.
1608
01:37:26,173 --> 01:37:29,606
Of course he's in.
Blimey, how did you get this job?
1609
01:37:29,673 --> 01:37:32,662
Would you wait here, sir?
Hurry up then!
1610
01:37:32,739 --> 01:37:37,035
If I were you wanting to get in,
I should try being a bit more humble.
1611
01:37:37,106 --> 01:37:39,367
Oh, would you really? Yes.
1612
01:37:39,439 --> 01:37:41,838
I dare say you would.
You're quite right, of course.
1613
01:37:41,907 --> 01:37:44,567
I'll throw a bit of filth over meself.
That should please him.
1614
01:37:50,009 --> 01:37:51,974
He'll see you now.
1615
01:37:52,041 --> 01:37:54,769
Oh, thank you very much.
1616
01:38:01,342 --> 01:38:03,570
Hello!
1617
01:38:03,642 --> 01:38:05,972
God!
1618
01:38:06,044 --> 01:38:08,601
It's me.
1619
01:38:08,677 --> 01:38:12,075
Where are you?
1620
01:38:12,144 --> 01:38:16,042
I wish you'd manifest yourself a bit.
It's so hard just talking to thin air.
1621
01:38:16,110 --> 01:38:20,908
On thy belly shalt thou go!
1622
01:38:20,979 --> 01:38:23,706
Oh, blimey. You're not still
on about that, are you?
1623
01:38:23,779 --> 01:38:27,507
All right.
Dust shalt thou eat!
1624
01:38:27,580 --> 01:38:29,875
Oh, naturally, yes.
Dust, of course. What else?
1625
01:38:29,946 --> 01:38:34,072
Mmm. Delicious. This is very
good. Num, num, num.
1626
01:38:34,146 --> 01:38:36,113
Speak!
1627
01:38:36,180 --> 01:38:38,805
It's a bit difficult with all
this dust in me mouth...
1628
01:38:38,880 --> 01:38:40,813
but I've come about readmission.
1629
01:38:40,881 --> 01:38:43,346
You know, I'm ready to come
back in again and join you.
1630
01:38:43,414 --> 01:38:47,869
Hast thou, in thy purpose,
swayed or wavered?
1631
01:38:47,948 --> 01:38:50,244
Swayed or wavered?
1632
01:38:50,314 --> 01:38:54,440
Just take a look at the world.
It's never been in such a mess.
1633
01:38:54,514 --> 01:38:56,446
I've done a wonderful job.
1634
01:38:56,514 --> 01:38:59,776
People are killing each other,
lusting after each other's wives...
1635
01:38:59,848 --> 01:39:01,781
worshipping false idols.
1636
01:39:01,849 --> 01:39:06,247
I've done a marvelous job. It's never been
so sinful, miserable and perverted.
1637
01:39:06,315 --> 01:39:09,941
You should be very happy.
1638
01:39:10,015 --> 01:39:13,676
Oh, don't go forming
yourself into a whirlwind...
1639
01:39:13,750 --> 01:39:16,580
just 'cause I got to a
hundred billion souls first.
1640
01:39:16,649 --> 01:39:20,308
Somebody's got to lose. Oh, I'll tell you
something that'll really please you.
1641
01:39:20,384 --> 01:39:23,940
I've done a good deed. I gave
that little twit his soul back.
1642
01:39:24,017 --> 01:39:28,347
Wasn't that generous?
Made me feel marvelous!
1643
01:39:28,418 --> 01:39:31,214
Well, come on. Am I in?
1644
01:39:32,451 --> 01:39:35,418
Hello. Where are you?
1645
01:39:35,485 --> 01:39:38,849
This way, please.
What's happening?
1646
01:39:38,919 --> 01:39:41,784
One moment he was talking to me,
the next moment he was gone.
1647
01:39:41,852 --> 01:39:44,579
I'm afraid you failed the
entrance examination.
1648
01:39:44,652 --> 01:39:48,017
I can't have failed. I've done
everything he asked of me.
1649
01:39:48,086 --> 01:39:50,848
And to show how repentant I was,
I even did a good deed.
1650
01:39:50,920 --> 01:39:54,353
Made me feel marvelous, just
like I was in the old days.
1651
01:39:54,421 --> 01:39:58,081
There you are. It sounds as if you made
a good gesture for the wrong motives.
1652
01:39:58,155 --> 01:39:59,745
What do you mean, "wrong motives"?
1653
01:39:59,821 --> 01:40:03,117
For your own joy, to make you
feel better than someone else.
1654
01:40:03,188 --> 01:40:06,415
Oh. Well, I can fix that.
1655
01:40:06,487 --> 01:40:10,148
I'll get Stanley to give me his soul back,
then return it for the right reasons.
1656
01:40:10,222 --> 01:40:13,346
I won't be proud. Tell God not to go away.
I'll be back in a minute.
1657
01:40:19,956 --> 01:40:22,117
Stanley! Hold everything!
1658
01:40:22,189 --> 01:40:25,349
Stanley! Stanley!
1659
01:40:25,423 --> 01:40:29,823
Where are you?
It's me, George, your old friend.
1660
01:40:29,890 --> 01:40:32,913
I want your soul back
just for a second.
1661
01:40:32,991 --> 01:40:35,991
Then I'll give it to you back in a better
way. I promise you. Where are you?
1662
01:40:35,992 --> 01:40:38,218
Stanley!
1663
01:40:38,290 --> 01:40:41,382
Are you in there? It's not a trick.
1664
01:40:41,458 --> 01:40:43,048
Stanley!
1665
01:40:43,124 --> 01:40:45,783
Stanley, wait!
1666
01:40:45,857 --> 01:40:48,290
Stanley!
1667
01:41:02,127 --> 01:41:04,285
I'm gonna do it.
1668
01:41:04,360 --> 01:41:06,849
This time I'm...
I'm going to do it.
1669
01:41:06,927 --> 01:41:10,121
I've got to do it.
I-I know I can and I know I will.
1670
01:41:10,193 --> 01:41:14,388
Here... Here I go. Now!
1671
01:41:14,461 --> 01:41:16,927
Miss Spencer!
What is it, Stanley?
1672
01:41:19,761 --> 01:41:22,557
I wonder if you'd like to come
and have dinner with me tonight.
1673
01:41:22,629 --> 01:41:25,890
Sorry. I'm already doing something.
Another night perhaps.
1674
01:41:30,797 --> 01:41:35,729
Stanley. Stanley.
She could make it tonight. I could fix it.
1675
01:41:35,797 --> 01:41:40,195
Tonight and every night.
I've got a new deal for you.
1676
01:41:46,097 --> 01:41:49,895
No, thanks, George.
I'd like to try it my way.
1677
01:41:54,031 --> 01:41:56,155
What a triumph.
1678
01:41:56,231 --> 01:41:58,424
Very funny.
1679
01:41:58,497 --> 01:42:03,294
All right, you great git.
You've asked for it.
1680
01:42:03,365 --> 01:42:07,356
I'll cover the world in
Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers.
1681
01:42:07,434 --> 01:42:11,263
I'll fill it full of concrete
runways, motorways...
1682
01:42:11,333 --> 01:42:14,424
aircraft, television
and automobiles...
1683
01:42:14,501 --> 01:42:17,728
advertising, plastic
flowers and frozen food...
1684
01:42:17,801 --> 01:42:19,733
supersonic bangs.
1685
01:42:19,801 --> 01:42:22,632
I'll make it so noisy
and disgusting...
1686
01:42:22,702 --> 01:42:25,964
that even you'll be
ashamed of yourself.
1687
01:42:26,034 --> 01:42:28,796
No wonder you've so few friends.
1688
01:42:28,868 --> 01:42:31,027
You're unbelievable.
126006
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