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NARRATOR: Kids, 2012 started outkind of crazy.
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00:00:05,544 --> 00:00:07,478
Barney met a girl named Quinn,
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00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,463
Kevin unproposed to Robin,
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00:00:09,465 --> 00:00:10,731
I told Robin...
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00:00:10,733 --> 00:00:12,099
I love you, Robin.
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00:00:12,101 --> 00:00:12,933
When I asked if she
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00:00:12,935 --> 00:00:14,852
loved me back, she said...
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No.
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00:00:16,572 --> 00:00:17,721
Marshall told Robin...
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You got to move out.
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00:00:19,692 --> 00:00:22,810
And Robin did.
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00:00:29,918 --> 00:00:32,803
I can't even open
her bedroom door anymore.
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00:00:33,538 --> 00:00:35,506
Why do I have
to be so sensitive?
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00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:37,791
I don't know, bro.
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00:00:37,793 --> 00:00:39,009
Look at me and that Quinn chick.
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00:00:39,011 --> 00:00:40,294
You don't hear me
prattling on
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00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:42,513
about how beautiful
her smile is,
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00:00:42,515 --> 00:00:46,550
how her hair is like a waterfall
of honey-colored silk,
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00:00:46,552 --> 00:00:49,970
how her eyes are like
a warm South Sea
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00:00:49,972 --> 00:00:53,256
kissed by the fire
and gold of sunrise.
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00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:55,258
I don't even remember
what she looks like.
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00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:57,260
Dude, you obviously like her.
Can't you read
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00:00:57,262 --> 00:00:58,445
between the lines, Ted?
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00:00:58,447 --> 00:00:59,780
I obviously like her.
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00:00:59,782 --> 00:01:01,365
How did this happen to me?
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00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:04,601
When did I become such
a gooey romantic?
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00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:07,488
Look, I think it's healthy
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00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:10,240
that you have real feelings
for a woman
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00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,242
instead of just seeing her
as an object.
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00:01:12,244 --> 00:01:13,577
Switch?
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00:01:13,579 --> 00:01:14,294
Sure.
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00:01:14,296 --> 00:01:15,712
(snaps fingers)
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But why Quinn?
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I mean, you spent
one night with her,
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00:01:18,283 --> 00:01:19,449
and she was kind of mean.
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00:01:19,451 --> 00:01:20,834
We just connected.
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00:01:20,836 --> 00:01:23,787
Emotionally, intellectually,
spiritually.
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00:01:23,789 --> 00:01:24,755
So, mind-blowing sex?
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00:01:24,757 --> 00:01:27,558
Mind-blowing sex!
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00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:31,228
For an hour afterwards,
I couldn't uncross my eyes.
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00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:33,981
Which was awesome, because
when I went back for seconds,
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00:01:33,983 --> 00:01:36,316
it was like having
a three-way with twins.
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00:01:36,318 --> 00:01:38,402
So... call her.
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00:01:38,404 --> 00:01:40,637
I would if I knew how
to get in touch with her,
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00:01:40,639 --> 00:01:42,573
but I can't,
and it's driving me crazy.
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Everywhere I look,
I see her.
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00:01:43,776 --> 00:01:45,192
I see her walking on the street;
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00:01:45,194 --> 00:01:47,811
I see her shopping in the store;
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I see her dancing on that pole.
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00:01:49,832 --> 00:01:51,915
I see her dancing
on that pole, too.
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00:01:51,917 --> 00:01:54,251
Oh, my God, that's Quinn.
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00:01:54,253 --> 00:01:57,437
EMCEE: Gentlemen,
give it up for Karma.
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00:01:58,498 --> 00:02:02,498
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x18 ♪
Karma
Original Air Date on February 27, 2012
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00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:06,499
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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I really appreciate
you guys taking me in.
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00:02:13,055 --> 00:02:14,104
I mean,
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00:02:14,106 --> 00:02:15,606
I'm homeless,
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00:02:15,608 --> 00:02:17,858
things between me and Ted
are still kind of weird.
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00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:20,143
So, it's nice
to be around friends.
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00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:21,979
Well, stay as long
as you want, sweetie.
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00:02:21,981 --> 00:02:23,179
Oh, thank you.
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00:02:23,181 --> 00:02:24,531
Mm.
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00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:26,700
Now, I got you a journal.
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00:02:26,702 --> 00:02:27,951
I know this sounds lame,
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00:02:27,953 --> 00:02:30,621
but it really helps work
through stuff to write about it.
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00:02:30,623 --> 00:02:31,955
Oh.
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00:02:31,957 --> 00:02:34,691
"Dear Diary. The fantasies
of killing Marshall's mom
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00:02:34,693 --> 00:02:35,876
"have become more vivid.
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00:02:35,878 --> 00:02:37,861
Today, I scalped her with a ..""
Whoops,
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00:02:37,863 --> 00:02:39,663
that one's mine.
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00:02:40,748 --> 00:02:42,631
You are going to have
so much fun here.
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00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:45,469
Oh, guys, please, do not feel like you
have to keep me entertained.
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00:02:45,804 --> 00:02:47,704
Well, you shouldn't have come
to East Meadow, Long Island,
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00:02:47,706 --> 00:02:49,506
Robin, if you didn't want
to be entertained.
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00:02:49,508 --> 00:02:51,808
Really? I didn't think
there was a ton to do here.
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00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:54,144
Oh, apparently, someone
hasn't heard
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00:02:54,146 --> 00:02:56,263
of the Uniondale
Miniatures Museum.
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00:02:56,265 --> 00:02:58,482
You'll come for
the 19th century thimble art,
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00:02:58,484 --> 00:03:02,069
but you'll stay for the
Dutch masters on bottle caps.
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00:03:02,071 --> 00:03:02,936
Plus,
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00:03:02,938 --> 00:03:04,104
you'll be bowling
with two
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00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:07,441
charter members of the
East Meadow Alley Cats.
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00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:09,159
"We're a hot dog eating team
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00:03:09,161 --> 00:03:10,861
with a bowling problem."
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00:03:10,863 --> 00:03:11,862
Shirley
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00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:13,396
came up with that one.
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00:03:13,398 --> 00:03:14,448
Great bowler, Shirley.
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00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:16,450
She hit 280 the other day.
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00:03:16,452 --> 00:03:20,053
Unfortunately,
that was on her bathroom scale.
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00:03:20,838 --> 00:03:22,122
NARRATOR: When Robin moved out,
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00:03:22,124 --> 00:03:23,907
there was a hole in my life
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00:03:23,909 --> 00:03:25,792
in the shapeof an empty bedroom.
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00:03:25,794 --> 00:03:28,411
I filled it with a new hobby.
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00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:30,213
(sizzling)
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00:03:30,215 --> 00:03:31,581
(coughing)
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00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:33,300
What are you doing
in my old room?
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00:03:33,302 --> 00:03:35,135
This room being empty
was bumming me out,
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00:03:35,137 --> 00:03:36,853
so I decided
to do something healthy
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00:03:36,855 --> 00:03:38,305
that would take my mind off you.
100
00:03:38,307 --> 00:03:39,756
Well, nothing says healthy
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00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:41,892
like smoking 40 pounds
of pork loin
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00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:43,226
in an unventilated room
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00:03:43,228 --> 00:03:45,729
while having an imaginary
conversation with your ex.
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00:03:45,731 --> 00:03:48,031
Just for that,
you're not getting any.
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00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:49,232
I'm not getting any?
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00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:51,101
You're the one smoking
your own meat.
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00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:52,152
Oh!
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00:03:52,154 --> 00:03:53,987
(knocking)
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00:03:53,989 --> 00:03:56,707
What am I gonna do
about this Quinn thing?
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00:03:56,709 --> 00:03:58,108
I want to ask her out again,
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00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:00,210
but I don't know how I feel
about her being a stripper.
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00:04:00,212 --> 00:04:02,829
Why would you have
an issue with that?
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00:04:02,831 --> 00:04:05,465
I mean, you've dated convicted
felons, arms dealers...
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00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:07,050
pageant moms.
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00:04:07,052 --> 00:04:11,004
Hey, Quinn is someone I might
want to get serious with,
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00:04:11,006 --> 00:04:15,475
not just pretend to be a judge
ho can help her 4 year old clinch miss Beloxy
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00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:18,729
(chuckles) Tiffany's mom really
wanted that tiara.
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00:04:18,731 --> 00:04:21,798
In a city of eight
million people,
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00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,901
you happened to walk into
the club where she works?
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00:04:24,903 --> 00:04:25,936
Maybe it's destiny.
121
00:04:25,938 --> 00:04:28,322
No, Destiny strips
at The Melon Patch.
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00:04:28,324 --> 00:04:30,924
They're people, Ted;
try to keep them straight.
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00:04:31,659 --> 00:04:33,593
Wait a minute.
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00:04:33,595 --> 00:04:36,780
What if this is destiny?
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00:04:36,782 --> 00:04:37,664
I just said...
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00:04:37,666 --> 00:04:39,282
What if the universe
127
00:04:39,284 --> 00:04:42,336
is throwing us in each other's
path for some reason?
128
00:04:42,338 --> 00:04:43,537
More or less exactly what I...
129
00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:46,322
I don't care what you say,
this is destiny!
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00:04:46,324 --> 00:04:47,374
Damn it, Ted!
131
00:04:47,376 --> 00:04:49,626
Why can't you ever root
for love?
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00:04:55,516 --> 00:04:56,499
Hey.
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00:04:56,501 --> 00:04:58,135
Hey.
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00:04:58,137 --> 00:04:59,269
Quinn...
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00:04:59,271 --> 00:05:00,437
No, listen,
136
00:05:00,439 --> 00:05:02,406
in here I'm Karma, okay?
137
00:05:02,408 --> 00:05:03,506
Got it.
138
00:05:03,508 --> 00:05:04,808
Uh, look, Karma,
139
00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:05,809
I swear
140
00:05:05,811 --> 00:05:07,994
I never say crap
like this, but...
141
00:05:07,996 --> 00:05:09,196
I think maybe
the universe
142
00:05:09,198 --> 00:05:11,581
is telling us something.
143
00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:13,183
You want to go out again?
144
00:05:13,185 --> 00:05:15,569
I'm sorry,
I don't date customers.
145
00:05:15,571 --> 00:05:16,870
What about destiny?
146
00:05:16,872 --> 00:05:18,789
I heard she's
over at The Melon Patch now.
147
00:05:18,791 --> 00:05:22,492
No, I mean like fate telling us
that we're supposed to be...
148
00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:23,660
Oh, listen, Barney,
149
00:05:23,662 --> 00:05:25,912
my manager is really
giving me the stink eye.
150
00:05:25,914 --> 00:05:27,798
I have to get back to work.
151
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:28,832
Okay, wait, wait.
152
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:30,550
What if I pay for a dance?
153
00:05:30,552 --> 00:05:31,501
That way,
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00:05:31,503 --> 00:05:32,586
your manager's happy,
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00:05:32,588 --> 00:05:33,920
and then I can to tell you
156
00:05:33,922 --> 00:05:35,705
why you should go on
another date with me.
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00:05:35,707 --> 00:05:38,475
I guess there's
no reason why not.
158
00:05:38,477 --> 00:05:41,211
Okay, first off,
we have a lot in common.
159
00:05:41,213 --> 00:05:42,596
For example,
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00:05:42,598 --> 00:05:44,714
both of our jobs
are largely financed
161
00:05:44,716 --> 00:05:47,901
by drunk Asian businessmen.
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00:05:47,903 --> 00:05:49,770
Dear Diary.
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00:05:49,772 --> 00:05:51,772
It is day four on this island,
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00:05:51,774 --> 00:05:54,107
which the natives have dubbed"Long Island,"
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00:05:54,109 --> 00:05:55,575
perhaps referencing
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00:05:55,577 --> 00:05:58,412
how each hour here feelslike it may never end.
167
00:05:58,414 --> 00:06:00,697
So far, they have welcomed me
168
00:06:00,699 --> 00:06:04,734
and given me a rare glimpseinto their bizarre way of life.
169
00:06:04,736 --> 00:06:07,904
By "entertainment," they meantable shuffle board,
170
00:06:07,906 --> 00:06:12,008
macramé classes, and othernon-stimulating activities
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00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:13,794
which are only usedin Manhattan
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00:06:13,796 --> 00:06:17,264
to calm down drug addictsand the criminally insane.
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00:06:17,266 --> 00:06:21,034
A preliterate society,their menus display pictures
174
00:06:21,036 --> 00:06:23,253
of the food they offer,
175
00:06:23,255 --> 00:06:25,522
everyone is forcedto sing "Happy Birthday"
176
00:06:25,524 --> 00:06:28,091
four or five times a meal,
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00:06:28,093 --> 00:06:31,978
and desserthas fireworks in it.
178
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:35,115
In their lairs, they often don
a primitive shroud
179
00:06:35,117 --> 00:06:38,819
called a "Snugget,"and it is not uncommon for them
180
00:06:38,821 --> 00:06:40,937
to go to sleep before 9 p.m.,
181
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:42,772
fearing, as they do,
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00:06:42,774 --> 00:06:44,407
the night.
183
00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,527
Also Diary, I think writingin you is stupid,
184
00:06:47,529 --> 00:06:48,795
but you were a gift from Lily,
185
00:06:48,797 --> 00:06:50,330
and she's watchingme right now.
186
00:06:50,332 --> 00:06:53,884
Guys, um, I don't want
to overstay my welcome,
187
00:06:53,886 --> 00:06:56,619
and Patrice said that she would
take me off your hands.
188
00:06:56,621 --> 00:06:59,639
So, do you have
a train schedule or...
189
00:06:59,641 --> 00:07:00,891
Oh, yeah,
190
00:07:00,893 --> 00:07:01,892
um, but-but
191
00:07:01,894 --> 00:07:04,728
there's a-a problem
with the train.
192
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,429
Big, big problem.
193
00:07:06,431 --> 00:07:07,330
There was a...
194
00:07:07,332 --> 00:07:09,599
Strike.
A lightning strike.
195
00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:12,802
That hit one of the picketers
who was on strike.
196
00:07:12,804 --> 00:07:14,938
During a thunderstorm.
197
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:18,942
Plus,
198
00:07:18,944 --> 00:07:22,078
Yeah, she probably doesn't
even want you there.
199
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:27,501
You guys are being weird.
200
00:07:28,035 --> 00:07:30,670
Oh!
Oh!
201
00:07:30,672 --> 00:07:33,323
Oh, my God, Robin,
I am so sorry.
202
00:07:33,325 --> 00:07:34,925
I'll throw these in the wash.
203
00:07:34,927 --> 00:07:37,844
They'll be dry
and folded in the morning.
204
00:07:37,846 --> 00:07:39,329
Or the weekend.
205
00:07:39,331 --> 00:07:40,997
And we can talk
about you leaving then.
206
00:07:40,999 --> 00:07:42,349
(quietly):
Or never.
207
00:07:42,351 --> 00:07:44,851
Wait, Lily, why don't...
(yawns loudly)
208
00:07:44,853 --> 00:07:46,853
It's 8:45,
time to hit the hay.
209
00:07:46,855 --> 00:07:48,939
LILY:
Good night!
210
00:07:48,941 --> 00:07:50,506
(lock clicks)
211
00:07:54,812 --> 00:07:56,646
So Ted, what healthy,
212
00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:59,182
not-at-all-crazy activity
are you up to now?
213
00:07:59,184 --> 00:08:02,852
I liked smoking meat,
but now I've got a new passion:
214
00:08:02,854 --> 00:08:04,454
wood.
215
00:08:04,456 --> 00:08:07,490
You hear these things that come
out of your mouth, right?
216
00:08:07,492 --> 00:08:09,025
(knocking)
217
00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:15,198
So I went back to
the Lusty Leopard.
218
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,716
You know what, Barney?
219
00:08:16,718 --> 00:08:19,753
I know I said I have a rule
about not dating customers,
220
00:08:19,755 --> 00:08:23,657
but you may have
convinced me to...
221
00:08:23,659 --> 00:08:25,208
(music stops)
Oh.
222
00:08:25,210 --> 00:08:26,643
Song's over, I got to go.
223
00:08:26,645 --> 00:08:28,878
Wait, no, what?
Convinced you to what?
224
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,848
I'm sorry, but manager's
giving me the stink eye.
225
00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:34,150
Ugh, get a life, Manager.
226
00:08:35,186 --> 00:08:36,719
What were you saying?
227
00:08:36,721 --> 00:08:39,139
Well, I was going to say
228
00:08:39,141 --> 00:08:42,826
that I do find you
very... charming.
229
00:08:42,828 --> 00:08:43,559
(chuckles)
230
00:08:43,561 --> 00:08:45,362
And funny...
231
00:08:45,364 --> 00:08:46,813
and sexy.
232
00:08:46,815 --> 00:08:49,666
And exciting and smart.
233
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:52,002
You so get me.
234
00:08:52,004 --> 00:08:53,703
You know what, Barney?
235
00:08:53,705 --> 00:08:56,206
I have never done
this before,
236
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:59,909
but there's just
something about you.
237
00:08:59,911 --> 00:09:01,595
So I guess my answer is...
238
00:09:01,597 --> 00:09:03,129
(music stops)
(gasps) Oh.
239
00:09:03,131 --> 00:09:04,130
The song's over.
240
00:09:04,132 --> 00:09:05,849
Well, just finish the thought!
241
00:09:05,851 --> 00:09:07,384
But the manager.
God,
242
00:09:07,386 --> 00:09:08,385
I hate manager.
243
00:09:08,387 --> 00:09:10,320
(snoring)
244
00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:12,689
There. Your answer is...
245
00:09:12,691 --> 00:09:15,108
Maybe if we knew each other
a little better.
246
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,092
(sighs)
247
00:09:16,094 --> 00:09:17,110
Tell me about yourself.
248
00:09:17,112 --> 00:09:19,112
Well, um, what can I tell you?
249
00:09:19,114 --> 00:09:20,113
I'm, um...
250
00:09:20,115 --> 00:09:22,282
charming and funny
251
00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:24,901
and sexy and...
252
00:09:24,903 --> 00:09:28,455
exciting and smart.
253
00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,457
Well, how can a girl
say no to that?
254
00:09:30,459 --> 00:09:32,826
How about we...
255
00:09:32,828 --> 00:09:34,794
go out on...
256
00:09:34,796 --> 00:09:38,581
aaaaaaaaa...
257
00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,417
aaaaaa...
258
00:09:40,419 --> 00:09:42,135
Ugh, these songs are so short.
259
00:09:42,137 --> 00:09:44,170
(groans)
260
00:09:45,072 --> 00:09:48,591
Uh, how much exactly
did you give Quinn?
261
00:09:48,593 --> 00:09:50,060
Eight, nine hundred bucks,
262
00:09:50,062 --> 00:09:52,896
plus whatever
my Rolex is worth.
263
00:09:52,898 --> 00:09:54,064
Whoa.
264
00:09:54,066 --> 00:09:55,098
I know.
265
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:58,134
Ted, I think I'm in love.
266
00:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,404
Quinn is totally playing you.
267
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:08,371
What?
268
00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:09,856
That's ridiculous.
269
00:10:09,858 --> 00:10:11,091
If she were playing me,
270
00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:13,076
why would she agree
to go on a date with me?
271
00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:15,495
You're different than
the rest of these schlubs.
272
00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:18,998
This one time only,
I'm going to break my rule.
273
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,864
Let's go out tomorrow night.
274
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,089
Sweet!
275
00:10:22,147 --> 00:10:25,509
Oh, shoot!
I have to work tomorrow. Ugh!
276
00:10:25,996 --> 00:10:28,027
Hey! Brainstorm!
277
00:10:28,052 --> 00:10:29,797
What if we just have
our date here,
278
00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:31,861
It's a date.
279
00:10:32,312 --> 00:10:36,163
It's not a date, if you go into a
strip club and paying for lap dances.
280
00:10:36,164 --> 00:10:39,072
If it's not a date, why'd she
say, every fifth dance was free?
281
00:10:39,104 --> 00:10:40,887
Because that's
the Lusty Leopard's policy
282
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:43,556
on Friday nights, and I'm so mad
at you that I know that!
283
00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:47,243
ROBIN: Dear Diary.
284
00:10:47,245 --> 00:10:49,162
It is day six on this island,
285
00:10:49,164 --> 00:10:52,882
and I begin to fear I ammore captive than guest...
286
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:54,784
(screams)
287
00:10:54,786 --> 00:10:56,169
Morning, sweetie.
288
00:10:56,171 --> 00:10:58,171
Up for croquet?
289
00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:01,574
Hey, uh, Lil, are you done
290
00:11:01,576 --> 00:11:03,710
washing my clothes yet?
Because I...
291
00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:04,928
Oh, I am so sorry.
292
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,013
Your clothes accidentally
wound up in the bag
293
00:11:07,015 --> 00:11:09,065
I donated to Goodwill.
294
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,250
You gave away my clothes?
295
00:11:11,252 --> 00:11:14,220
They were a bit fancy
for East Meadow.
296
00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:16,389
(whispers):
People were staring.
297
00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:19,976
Besides, we have
an extra Snugget.
298
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:22,645
Try it.
299
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,815
Try it, Robin.
300
00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:29,736
ROBIN: They're trying to make meone of them, Diary.
301
00:11:29,738 --> 00:11:32,655
And I begin to fear...
302
00:11:32,657 --> 00:11:35,041
I may like it!
303
00:11:37,628 --> 00:11:39,629
I can't believe we're
at a strip club,
304
00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:41,931
and the biggest boob
in here is you.
305
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:44,300
It's a real date, Ted.
306
00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:47,303
And clearly you haven't
seen the DeSalvo twins.
307
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:48,555
She's right over there.
308
00:11:48,557 --> 00:11:50,640
Barney...
Yowza!
309
00:11:50,642 --> 00:11:53,292
You are not on a date.
310
00:11:53,294 --> 00:11:54,611
Okay, look, prove it.
311
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:57,180
Prove that she's not just
taking advantage of you.
312
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:59,599
Get her to go out with
you anywhere but here.
313
00:11:59,601 --> 00:12:00,850
Fine!
314
00:12:00,852 --> 00:12:03,319
Hey, sexy! You want a dance?
315
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:04,654
Yeah!
316
00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:06,156
Uh, one thing, though.
317
00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:08,491
Um, you'd be okay
with us having a date
318
00:12:08,493 --> 00:12:10,309
somewhere besides here,
wouldn't you?
319
00:12:10,311 --> 00:12:12,862
I was hoping you would ask that.
320
00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:15,582
I'm sorry it's
so expensive in here,
321
00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:17,700
but it's nice and private, huh?
322
00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,169
Absolutely. And romantic!
323
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,287
It's our first getaway
as a couple!
324
00:12:22,656 --> 00:12:23,990
It's become clear to me, Diary,
325
00:12:23,992 --> 00:12:25,875
that I must attempta dramatic escape.
326
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:29,095
I will fake a stomach acheduring dinner.
327
00:12:29,097 --> 00:12:31,297
Then, after Marshall and Lilyleave for bingo night,
328
00:12:31,299 --> 00:12:33,433
I will sneak out the back.
329
00:12:33,435 --> 00:12:36,302
I'll swipe Shirley's Rascaland drive to the train station.
330
00:12:36,304 --> 00:12:38,337
Shirley's 42, by the way,and rides a Rascal.
331
00:12:38,339 --> 00:12:42,192
I swear, it's the second halfof Wall-E out here.
332
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,343
(two handclaps)
333
00:12:44,345 --> 00:12:46,029
Bingo...
334
00:12:47,081 --> 00:12:49,866
was canceled.
335
00:12:53,571 --> 00:12:56,506
Hey, sexy, you want a dance?
336
00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:58,875
(chuckles) No,
I'm not a customer.
337
00:12:58,877 --> 00:13:00,359
My girlfriend works here.
338
00:13:00,361 --> 00:13:03,162
She's right over...
339
00:13:03,164 --> 00:13:05,632
This one time only,
I'm gonna break my rule.
340
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:07,083
Let's go out tomorrow night!
341
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:08,034
Sweet!
342
00:13:08,036 --> 00:13:09,319
Oh, shoot!
343
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:12,438
I have to work tomorrow. Ugh!
344
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,673
Hey! Brainstorm!
345
00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:15,592
What if we just have
our date here,
346
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:19,045
maybe in
the Champagne Room?
347
00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:23,750
That was our spot.
348
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:30,427
Hey, gorgeous,
You want a dance?
349
00:13:31,429 --> 00:13:32,863
Is it a jig?
350
00:13:32,865 --> 00:13:34,965
'Cause if so, it's up.
351
00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:37,200
Sorry, I only had the last verse
352
00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:39,703
of "Hot For Teacher" to work
on that. What was that?
353
00:13:39,705 --> 00:13:43,606
You laid exactly the same line
on that guy that you did on me!
354
00:13:43,608 --> 00:13:44,624
Sweetie, that is just something
355
00:13:44,626 --> 00:13:47,294
I say to these
gullible losers here.
356
00:13:47,296 --> 00:13:48,912
They fall for it every time.
357
00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:52,716
(chuckling): Bunch of losers!
358
00:13:52,718 --> 00:13:54,718
Oh, gosh, manager again.
359
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,919
He's looking at me like,
360
00:13:55,921 --> 00:13:57,671
"Karma, why aren't you booking
more time
361
00:13:57,673 --> 00:13:58,838
in the Champagne Room?"
362
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,174
Well, we'll show him.
363
00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:03,793
No! You're playing me again!
364
00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:06,346
And you're not even trying hard!
365
00:14:06,348 --> 00:14:08,148
There's no manager there;
You're pointing at a fern!
366
00:14:09,984 --> 00:14:11,601
Ted was right.
367
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:14,454
I bet he's home right now,
laughing at how dumb I am.
368
00:14:19,911 --> 00:14:22,612
Did I deserve this?
Absolutely.
369
00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:25,615
I have told
some outrageous lies.
370
00:14:25,617 --> 00:14:27,968
I have told women I was famous,
371
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,336
a war hero,
372
00:14:29,338 --> 00:14:31,821
that sex with me would cure
their nearsightedness.
373
00:14:31,823 --> 00:14:33,456
Barney?!
374
00:14:35,343 --> 00:14:38,762
I probably deserved everything
you did to me and more.
375
00:14:38,764 --> 00:14:40,430
But I have been trying,
376
00:14:40,432 --> 00:14:43,416
and trying hard
to be a better person.
377
00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:45,185
Thanks for showing me
378
00:14:45,187 --> 00:14:46,736
I had it right before.
379
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:58,064
Look, I'm sorry we made you feel
a little suffocated,
380
00:14:58,066 --> 00:15:01,451
but were you really
just gonna sneak away?
381
00:15:01,453 --> 00:15:04,371
Well, it's just...
I really miss the city.
382
00:15:04,373 --> 00:15:06,706
I know you guys love it here,
and that's fine,
383
00:15:06,708 --> 00:15:08,024
We don't love it here!
384
00:15:08,026 --> 00:15:08,691
What?
385
00:15:08,693 --> 00:15:09,859
Come on, Robin,
386
00:15:09,861 --> 00:15:11,878
what kind
of life is this?
387
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,463
Going to canasta tournaments
388
00:15:13,465 --> 00:15:15,165
and high school
field hockey playoffs?
389
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:17,751
Oh, I think North Bellmore
can take state.
390
00:15:17,753 --> 00:15:19,753
With Sophie's ankle?
Doubtful.
391
00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:21,888
Okay, but if you two
are so unhappy,
392
00:15:21,890 --> 00:15:23,890
why don't you just move
back to Manhattan?
393
00:15:23,892 --> 00:15:26,593
Because the suburbs are
better for the baby.
394
00:15:26,595 --> 00:15:29,729
Who says? Who says any place
is better for the baby
395
00:15:29,731 --> 00:15:31,931
if you two are unhappy in it?
396
00:15:33,884 --> 00:15:36,386
No, no,
we live here now.
397
00:15:37,054 --> 00:15:38,772
And, you know,
this place
398
00:15:38,774 --> 00:15:40,240
wouldn't seem
so bad if...
399
00:15:40,242 --> 00:15:43,126
we got one of our friends
to move out here.
400
00:15:43,778 --> 00:15:45,561
Oh, guys...
401
00:15:45,563 --> 00:15:48,531
Oh...
402
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:51,267
I would rather set myself
on fire.
403
00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:55,571
NARRATOR: The next morning,Barney learned that even in
404
00:15:55,573 --> 00:15:58,875
a city of eight million people,
there's no escaping Karma.
405
00:15:58,877 --> 00:16:01,428
(light music playing)
406
00:16:05,016 --> 00:16:06,082
(sighs)
407
00:16:06,084 --> 00:16:07,100
Oh.
408
00:16:07,102 --> 00:16:08,768
Oh, hey.
409
00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:11,554
Sorry, can't talk;
manager's watching.
410
00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:14,524
Look, I am sorry
411
00:16:14,526 --> 00:16:16,443
if I hurt your feelings;
it's a job.
412
00:16:16,445 --> 00:16:17,811
Yeah, well, at my job,
413
00:16:17,813 --> 00:16:19,729
we don't rip out
people's hearts for money.
414
00:16:19,731 --> 00:16:24,317
My company briefly backed
a lab in North Korea
415
00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:26,403
which did, but we sold it!
416
00:16:26,405 --> 00:16:28,321
You know, I've worked
at that club for a year.
417
00:16:28,323 --> 00:16:29,706
You practically live there,
418
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:31,658
and you didn't even recognize me
the night we went out.
419
00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:34,777
You can't pretend to be some
hurt little victim with me.
420
00:16:34,779 --> 00:16:35,829
I know you.
421
00:16:35,831 --> 00:16:37,047
Well, of course you do.
422
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:38,614
I told you things
I don't tell anybody.
423
00:16:38,616 --> 00:16:39,799
I was honest with you.
424
00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:41,918
Yeah, because I believe you have
a gay black brother,
425
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,636
a friend lonely enough
to smoke his own meat
426
00:16:43,638 --> 00:16:45,472
and that your mom was a groupie
for Supertramp.
427
00:16:45,474 --> 00:16:48,508
They named
their band for her!
428
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:52,628
You remembered all that?
429
00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:55,014
Well, yeah.
I mean,
430
00:16:55,016 --> 00:16:56,299
you're more interesting
than the lyrics
431
00:16:56,301 --> 00:16:58,935
to "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
for the 8,000th time.
432
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,522
You know, it's funny.
433
00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:05,692
Almost every woman
I've ever met was wrong
434
00:17:05,694 --> 00:17:07,310
to give me a chance.
435
00:17:07,312 --> 00:17:10,463
You're the first woman
who's wrong not to.
436
00:17:13,817 --> 00:17:15,118
Large black coffee...
437
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,154
and whatever he's having.
438
00:17:18,156 --> 00:17:19,756
It's on me.
439
00:17:20,657 --> 00:17:23,009
The same.
440
00:17:23,011 --> 00:17:24,427
Thank you.
441
00:17:24,429 --> 00:17:26,846
You're welcome.
442
00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:29,849
1,700 more of these
and we're even.
443
00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,834
Uh, the song just ended.
444
00:17:31,836 --> 00:17:33,669
That mean you got
to get going?
445
00:17:33,671 --> 00:17:35,972
No.
446
00:17:35,974 --> 00:17:38,024
Do you have time
to sit with me?
447
00:17:38,026 --> 00:17:40,794
I don't know.
You're wearing my watch.
448
00:17:44,031 --> 00:17:46,733
Pottery.
Now you're making pottery.
449
00:17:46,735 --> 00:17:48,618
I needed a new vase...
450
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,520
and some plates.
451
00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:51,788
And bowls.
452
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:54,207
The china cabinet I built had
some design flaws.
453
00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:56,960
Why don't you just turn
this into a guest room?
454
00:17:56,962 --> 00:17:58,328
A guest room?
455
00:17:58,330 --> 00:18:00,363
(chuckles) You mean
a room ready and waiting
456
00:18:00,365 --> 00:18:01,697
for someone who isn't there?
457
00:18:01,699 --> 00:18:04,918
A room devoted to reminding me
that I'm still alone?
458
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,338
Yeah, I don't need that.
459
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:13,176
Ted, no matter how many things
you put in this room...
460
00:18:13,178 --> 00:18:15,445
I'll still be here.
461
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,698
(knocking)
462
00:18:27,057 --> 00:18:27,723
Hey.
463
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,909
Hey!
464
00:18:30,394 --> 00:18:31,778
Come on in.
465
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:33,746
Thanks.
466
00:18:34,849 --> 00:18:37,283
Oh, um, thanks for packing up
the rest of my stuff.
467
00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:39,619
No problem. Uh, you
want some coffee?
468
00:18:39,621 --> 00:18:41,955
Uh, sure. Yeah?
Yeah.
469
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,407
So, how are things?
470
00:18:44,409 --> 00:18:46,376
Good! You?
Great!
471
00:18:46,378 --> 00:18:48,361
You know, I actually
made this mug.
472
00:18:48,363 --> 00:18:49,929
Oh, yeah? Oh!
Yeah. Oh!
473
00:18:49,931 --> 00:18:52,599
Yeah, sorry, coffee's
a little strong.
474
00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:56,269
How was your stay
with Marshall and Lily?
475
00:18:56,271 --> 00:18:58,304
Uh... a little weird.
476
00:18:58,306 --> 00:19:00,440
They're not loving Long Island.
477
00:19:00,442 --> 00:19:01,608
Oh.
478
00:19:01,610 --> 00:19:03,142
I think deep down, they realize
479
00:19:03,144 --> 00:19:05,111
it just... isn't a good fit.
480
00:19:05,113 --> 00:19:08,698
It's hard to admit that
sometimes.
481
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,567
Sure is.
482
00:19:10,569 --> 00:19:13,870
But I guess it's better
to face it and move on
483
00:19:13,872 --> 00:19:18,575
than try to force something that
just isn't meant to be, right?
484
00:19:18,577 --> 00:19:20,293
I think so.
485
00:19:20,295 --> 00:19:21,644
Yeah.
486
00:19:22,379 --> 00:19:23,546
So, what do you think
487
00:19:23,548 --> 00:19:25,098
you're gonna do
with my old room?
488
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,616
Haven't really thought about it.
489
00:19:26,618 --> 00:19:28,284
Oh!
490
00:19:34,275 --> 00:19:36,509
Who needs Manhattan?
491
00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:37,844
Yeah.
492
00:19:37,846 --> 00:19:39,962
(phone buzzes)
493
00:19:39,964 --> 00:19:41,964
Hmm, it's Ted.
He wants to know
494
00:19:41,966 --> 00:19:43,983
if we want to hang
out in the city.
495
00:19:43,985 --> 00:19:45,852
The next train leaves
in nine minutes.
496
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,984
(door closes)
497
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:06,956
TED: Dear Lily and Marshall,I don't know if you know this,
498
00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,959
but I never tookyour names off the lease.
499
00:20:09,961 --> 00:20:13,663
Well, todayI took my name off it.
500
00:20:13,665 --> 00:20:16,666
The apartment is now yours.
501
00:20:16,668 --> 00:20:19,502
And I think I finally figuredout the best thing
502
00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:21,471
to do with Robin's old room.
503
00:20:21,473 --> 00:20:23,606
(soft gasp)
504
00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:33,983
See, for me, this place hasbegun to feel a little haunted.
505
00:20:33,985 --> 00:20:36,569
At first, I thoughtit was haunted by Robin,
506
00:20:36,571 --> 00:20:39,439
but now I thinkit was haunted by me.
507
00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:44,494
Well, no ghost is at peaceuntil it finally moves on.
508
00:20:45,713 --> 00:20:47,714
I need a change.
509
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,749
And I think you do, too.
510
00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:52,418
This apartment needssome new life.
511
00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:56,756
So, please, make our old homeyour new home.
512
00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:59,275
It is now ghost-free.
513
00:20:59,277 --> 00:21:00,893
Love, Ted.
514
00:21:00,895 --> 00:21:04,895
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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